Disclaimer: None of these characters are mine. They are the property of
Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, the WB, etc...
Rating: PG
Summary: Willow talks to Joyce about Buffy.
Spoilers: Everything up to and including B2

Willow walked slowly down the almost deserted street as the afternoon
faded away. Her eyes lingered on the few children who played, their
voices muted. She watched them, wondering why they were so quiet; if
they could feel the change in the air as clearly as she could. If they
had some innocent sense that things were not okay in Sunnydale, that
their only line of defense had gone missing. Closing her eyes she
thanked whatever force was out there for the peace that had hovered over
the town for the last few weeks. If things didn't remain that way she
wasn't sure what they would do. None of them were prepared to fight.
Especially Giles, who was still recovering, the physical injuries
healing much faster than the emotional ones.

She thought back to his confession, the stiff words barely containing
his pain as he confessed to the trick he had fallen prey to. Her words
of understanding meant so little to him, his horror at betraying his
Slayer and his duty and his love all but consuming him. He had barely
spoken for two weeks after his confession except to make suggestions of
places to look for Buffy. And every time one of the teens had to tell
him about another dead-end, she watched the pain that tortured him
increase.

This morning he had come into the library later than usual, his face
even more drawn, and had gone immediately into his office, not once
looking at any of them. She had followed him in, determined to break
through his shell, terrified that if she couldn't then she would lose
him too. She had let Buffy hide her pain over Angel, had been content to
believe that Buffy could handle it, up until Buffy ran away, and she
realized how much pain her friend had been hiding. Willow took a deep
breath before straightening her shoulders as she walked into his office.
He had looked up at her as she entered, his face raw with pain. As one
tear fell down his cheek he told her that he had been to see Buffy's
mother. She had called him late the night before, sobbing to him about
Buffy running away and then confessing that she thought Buffy had lost
her mind. Giles looked at Willow, his face suddenly old, as he told her
that Buffy had confessed to her mother that she was a Slayer. Whatever
else had happened on that night they might never know, but they had this
new piece of the puzzle. Giles shook his head as he related going to
Buffy's house, trying to explain to her mother that Buffy told the
truth. He had wanted to console her, to reassure her that Buffy was more
than capable of taking care of herself. Staring at Willow, their roles
reversed as his eyes begged her for help. Holding his head in his hands
he told her of Buffy's mother's anger. That she wavered between thinking
he was a pervert who had taken advantage of her insane daughter and
believing him and cursing him for letting her daughter face death every
night.

Willow watched helplessly as he searched frantically through his drawers
for his diaries. Thumbing through them he read passages aloud to Willow,
words recreating battles that Buffy had won, demons she had destroyed.
Wondering if this is what he should share with Buffy's mother, these
triumphs of the Slayer. Willow had sat there, her mind racing with the
best words to use, words that could explain to Buffy's mom that she
would probably lose her daughter very young. That Buffy would most
likely die a violent death at the hands of a demon. Listening with one
ear to the clinical words the Watcher had written and remembering with
her heart the horror and fear she had felt when she first understood who
Buffy was and what the Slayer stood against, Willow had softly cleared
her throat, pausing Giles. Holding her hand out to him she offered to
take the burden. To tell Buffy's mom of the truth in Giles words, and
was rewarded by the look of relief in Giles eyes.

And now she stood on Buffy's street, staring up into Buffy's bedroom
window, wishing that the Slayer was home. Taking a deep breath she
slowly walked closer to the house, her imagination playing tricks on
her, making the house seem horribly lonely sitting there surrounded by
other houses. She almost felt the sorrow that encased it as it waited
for the Slayer to return. With only the slightest unsteadiness to remind
her of her injuries she walked up the steps and knocked on the door.

And waited, praying that there would be no answer, that she could avoid
it for one more day. Then, angry with herself for her cowardice she
knocked louder before stepping back to wait. Listening carefully for any
sound she stiffened as footsteps walked cautiously to the door. Her
breathing shallow now, she cautioned herself to remain calm. She had to
get through to Buffy's mother, had to make her mother understand. She
ignored the crazy hope that lived in her heart, telling her if she could
make things right, Buffy would come home. Closing her eyes, she
concentrated on removing her nervousness from her face, then stared
calmly at the door as she waited for it to open.

Buffy's mother pulled back the door slowly, her face a mixture of hope
and dread. Seeing Willow standing there she opened the door further, the
hope on her face returning to pain. Willow slipped inside quietly,
feeling like a traitor to come in her house as Buffy's friend only to
confront her with the Slayer. They stood uncomfortably inside the door,
each waiting for the other to make the first move. Finally Buffy's
mother offered her a drink and they moved towards the living room.
Willow sat down on the edge of the sofa as Buffy's mother brought the
drinks in, her throat suddenly dry. She waited as Buffy's mother sat
down in a chair and looked at her, only her eyes betraying her
nervousness.

Clearing her throat Willow began to speak, "Ms. Summers..."

"Joyce."

"Joyce...I...I..." Willow choked at the last minute, unable to bring
herself to destroy Buffy's mother's peace of mind forever. She
hesitated, trying to think of a way to make it better without telling
her anything else. Opening her mouth to tell lies the truth spilled out.
"She is the Slayer."

Joyce sat there staring at her, no anger on her face, in fact, there was
no emotion at all. She slowly took a sip of her ice tea, the only clue
of her inner struggle was the clink of the ice cubes against the glass
as her hand shook. Speaking slowly, her voice barely calm, "Why? Why
are you doing this? My daughter is missing! Isn't that enough? She's
gone and she thinks there are vampires. My daughter needs help and you
should be ashamed that you are taking any part of this...this lie."

Willow forced herself to look at Ms. Summer's as she spoke, telling
herself that it was to late to chicken out now. Her voice was timid as
she responded. "She was telling the truth, so was Giles. She's the
chosen one and I'm so sorry."

The older woman sat frozen, her hand still holding the glass of iced
tea. She didn't move a muscle for an eternity, her face betraying
nothing as she stared at the plate of drinks and cookies that sat in
front of her. Then suddenly she threw the glass she had been holding,
shattering it against the far wall in the room. Turning to Willow she
glared at her, like she would like nothing better than to throw her
against the same wall. Standing up she paced around the room, her eyes
never leaving Willow's face, her hands clenched at her sides. Turning
she spat the words at Willow, "My daughter is missing, maybe even
d..dead. And you want me to live in the same fantasy world you all seem
to be living in? You need help. All of you." Her breath coming in short
gasps she spun around and pointed to a picture of a much younger Buffy
on the wall. "See? That's my daughter. And that will be my daughter
again, as soon as I find her and get her away from you people."

Willow forced herself to lean forward in her chair, fighting her
instinctive desire to avoid this confrontation. "Joy...Mrs. Summers, I'm
not lying. Buffy told you the truth, so did Giles. It's not a fantasy
world, it's real." Struggling to keep her voice calm she continued,
"Buffy protects the world against vampires. And whatever else comes
along."

Mrs. Summers shook her head, her anger growing again. Slamming her hands
down on the table she leaned across to speak directly into Willow's
face. "Vampires don't exist."

Closing her eyes, Willow willed her stomach to calm down. She stared
into Mrs. Summers' face, trying to portray more confidence then she
felt, "Don't you remember parent-teacher night? How the members of the
gang all had something wrong with their faces? Remember how Buffy
handled it?"

Mrs. Summers hesitated for a moment, her angry expression clouded with
confusion. Then she took a shaky breath before speaking in a calmer
voice to Willow. "I don't blame you. That Mr. Giles probably confused
you too. That was just a gang. On drugs or something." She walked closer
to Willow, her expression full of pity. "Vampires aren't real Willow. I
met the gang leader Buffy was fighting at the school. On the night Buffy
left. There was nothing wrong with his face. He looked just like you or
me."

Willow slid back in her chair, trying to make sense of Buffy's mother's
words. She could feel her stomach churning with confusion. "Spike...was
here? In your house? She invited him in?"

Joyce looked nervous, as if the tone in Willows voice frightened her.
"Yes. He sat in the chair you're sitting in. He knew the person that
killed the girl...at school."

Willow looked at her, suddenly angrier than she had ever been. How blind
could one person be, how oblivious to the horror that surrounded them?
She pushed herself forward on the chair, and spoke in a low voice. "And
that seems reasonable to you? Your daughter invited a killer into your
house and that seems okay? But no vampires, right? Cause that would be
crazy." Willow paused, suddenly aware that her voice was rising with
every word she spoke. Taking a deep breath she lowered her voice and
continued. "Your daughter brings home a man who tried to kill her and
you think that the idea of vampires is crazy?" Willow held her head in
her hands trying to get a grip on the anger that was burning in her
throat.

Joyce stared at Willow for a moment, her hands dangling limply at her
sides. She backed slowly away from Willow as if she could avoid her
words. Shaking her head she denied them, not answering Willow's
question.

Willow stood up quickly, ignoring the way the room swam around her eyes
and the nausea that gripped her stomach. "I know it's hard. It was hard
for me too. When I first found out I thought I was trapped in a
nightmare. But it's real, all of it, everything Giles told you. The
demons exist Mrs. Summers."

Walking slowly over to the couch Joyce collapsed onto it, all her anger
dissipated. "You want me to believe in a world where my daughter is a
vampire Slayer. In a world where my daughter fights monsters." Her voice
was thick with emotion as she spoke, "In a world where I can't protect
her?"

"In a world where she can protect herself." Willow spoke carefully,
praying that her words were true. "Better than the rest of us."

"How can she? She's so tiny. She couldn't fight someone like Spike."
Joyce paused then, her face frightened. "But she did. I saw her..."

Willow felt the first tears slip from her eyes at the pain in Buffy's
mom's face as her words faded away. She held the older woman's gaze,
refusing to let Joyce turn away from her. Willow felt as Joyce gave in,
as she let the unimaginable become reality. Willow recognized the fear
that came from realizing that every monster you ever feared was real.
The boogeyman existed and for Mrs. Summers it was worse, because not
only did she have to accept that monsters existed, but also that her
daughter fought them. Willow reached out and grabbed Joyce's hand, her
voice soft. "You saw her?"

The older woman spoke softly, as if she hadn't heard Willow's words, her
voice surprisingly steady. "My daughter fights vampires. She risks her
life every night to keep the rest of the world safe? But vampires aren't
real! It's not real, none of this."

Willow listened to her words, understanding that Joyce was doing what
she had done almost two years ago, to try and make the horror real. She
leaned forward, her face full of compassion as she waited for Mrs.
Summers to accept the truth. Waited to answer the questions that she
could answer, the ones that had some explanations, the where and the
when. The why and how could never be answered, they just had to be
accepted.

Her voice breaking Joyce continued, "But it is real. Vampires exist. I
saw her kill one. I saw him turn to dust on my front porch." She stared
at Willow with an almost child-like expression, "Do you know I haven't
swept the front porch since? I rarely ever go out that door. I knew then
that it wasn't possible, what she did. It shouldn't be. How can it be?"

Willow spoke quietly then, remembering Buffy's strength. "It just is.
She's not as fragile as she looks. She has more strength than other
people. Once, when someone was trying to kill my boyfriend, she took his
gun and bent it." Willow stopped as she took in Joyce's look of horror.
"It's okay, he wasn't trying to shoot Buffy."

"Guns?" Mrs. Summers' voice was panicked. "You use guns to fight? This
sounds more like gangs than the vampire's you would have me believing
in."

"No. Oz...my boyfriend, he's a werewolf. And the guy, he was a poacher.
And he wanted to kill Oz...even though Oz is only a werewolf three
nights a month." Willow broke off as she saw the disbelief mixed with
terror on Mrs. Summers face. "Buffy doesn't use guns. She uses wooden
stakes, holy water, sometimes a crossbow, but never a gun. It wouldn't
kill a vampire anyway."

"And Spike...he is a vampire?" Mrs. Summers spoke cautiously, as if she
wasn't sure she wanted the answer.

"Yes."

Mrs. Summers shook her head, "That was a vampire? Any more vampires that
I've met?"

Taking a deep breath Willow figured it was all or nothing. "Angel. Angel
was...is a vampire."

Joyce didn't say anything in response to Willow's words. She just sat
there, looking at her hands. Finally looking up with tears sliding
slowly down her face. "So, my daughter not only kills
these...these...vampires, she also sleeps with them? This doesn't make
any sense."

"She doesn't sleep with _vampires_, she _slept_ with _Angel_. Because
she loved him. " Willow leaned forward, her face begging Mrs. Summers to
believe her. "Angel's not evil, he had a soul. Most vampires don't, but
he was cursed with one a long time ago. He, he helped us, helped Buffy.
He loved her more than anything and she loved him. But...when they slept
together, the curse was broken and he became evil again. That's why he
tormented her and why she had to kill him. But I recursed him, so maybe
she didn't have to."

"How can I believe this? It's all like some horror story, not my
daughter's life. Buffy was in love with a vampire who turned bad after
she had sex with him. It's almost laughable, or it would be if I wasn't
starting to believe that this is the truth. Willow, is this really my
daughter's life?" Joyce's eyes were pleading with her to take the words
back, to say something pretty and let her go back to denying what she
saw.

"Yes." Willow knew her words were shattering years of deception. Lies
that Buffy had told and Joyce had let herself believe. She felt so
guilty for destroying the lies, but she couldn't help thinking that it
would be easier for Buffy to do her duty if she didn't have to hide the
truth from her mother.

She set her shoulders, ignoring the little voice in her head that was
telling her Buffy may never come back. "But she does what she has to,
all of the time. You should be proud of her, she's fought tons of demons
and saved the world from being sucked into Hell. Her life isn't fair,
but she did it anyway. And when she left, it was because the price may
have been too high."

Joyce stared at Willow for a moment, her face guilty. "I told her never
to come back. She said she had to save the world, and I told her if she
left..."

Willow shook her head, refuting Joyce's words. "She knew you loved her.
She just lost too much I think." Willow hesitated before speaking again,
not knowing if the other option would give Mrs. Summers the same hope it
gave her. "Or maybe, maybe the curse worked. Maybe Angel has his soul
again. Maybe she left with him."

"Will he hurt her again?" Joyce looked dazed as she spoke.

"No." Willow smiled a little as she remembered how much the vampire had
loved her friend. "If it worked, if he has his soul, then he would
rather die than hurt her. He's saved her many times, saved all of us."

"Saved her? I thought you said she could take care of herself?" Joyce’s
voice was rising again, her fear coming to the surface.

"She can, but sometimes it's good to have back-up.” Willow said softly,
flashes of all the close calls Buffy had running through her mind. “Did
Giles tell you?"

"That my baby would die young?" Joyce's voice was devoid of emotion. "He
told me that Slayers throughout history had not lived long lives."

Willow swallowed, knowing how hard it was for her to accept that Buffy
might not win forever, she couldn't imagine accepting that about your
child. "Buffy's different though. She's won battles no one thought she
would. And we help her, and if Angel is back, he'll help her. We aren't
going to believe that she won't live forever."

"You want this vampire back? Angel?" Joyce questioned her.

"I want Buffy to live. And I want her to be happy. With him she has a
better chance for both." Willow stared directly into Joyce's eyes as she
spoke.

"But you don't know if your curse worked?"

"No. On the night, that night, Angel had kidnapped Giles and was going
to wake a demon that would have opened a vortex into Hell. Buffy stopped
it, but we don't know if she did it because Angel got his soul back or
because she killed him. If I did the curse in time, he wouldn't have
before he woke the demon or if she killed him before he could do it."

"She left a note. All it said was that she had hurt too many people."
Joyce spoke softly.

Willow sucked in a breath and then nodded her head. "That could mean
either one. She felt so guilty about what happened to Angel, and what
happened to everyone else because she couldn't kill him."

The older woman's eyes clouded with tears. She spoke in a whisper, her
voice barely audible. "My poor baby. Do you think she'll come back?"

Willow stared at her, wondering how to answer her or even if there was
an answer. "I need to believe she will. We need her here, and I think
she needs us. If...if Angel is dead, she needs time to mourn him. And
if not, well, she'll come back when he's ready. We're looking for her
though. Every day we look."

Joyce sat back against the couch, her eyes shut tightly. Willow watched
her, knowing that she had faced all the truths she could for that day.
Walking slowly over to her bag she pulled out the first of Giles'
Watcher diaries. Setting it softly on the table she turned to leave.

Mrs. Summers voice caught her as she reached the front door. "Will you
come back tomorrow? Will you come and tell me who my daughter is?"

Willow turned back and nodding her head she answered the woman. "Of
course. We can all come. Xander, Giles, all of us." Willow slowly broke
eye contact with Buffy's mother and slipped out of the door.

She stopped once she felt the door shut behind her, feeling all the
emotions she had been holding back hit her. Her legs trembling she
continued holding the door for support. She could feel the dizziness
swarming around her head and the panic that wanted to overtake her.
Closing her eyes she reminded herself of the nightmares she had already
lived through. Why should telling Buffy's mother be any big deal at all?
Taking deep breaths she walked down the steps and away from Buffy's
house. She headed down the street, her feet taking her back to the
library. To tell Giles that she had done it. That she had explained the
horror to one more person. Taken peace of mind from one more life. She
spoke to Buffy as she walked, sending out her message, the same one she
sent out every night. Please come home Buffy, we love you.

fin

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