Disclaimer in part one.
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I woke with the start at the sound of Cordelia and Oz's voices coming down the hall. It sounded like they were arguing, and for a moment I was surprised. The unrufflable Oz, arguing. But then, it *was* Cordelia. I sat up as they entered my room, Oz carrying a tote bag full of supplies.
"I still don't care. It sounds too dangerous." Oz looked at me, his brow wrinkled. "Willow, seriously, I want you to rethink this. I mean, look what happened last time! I don't want you getting hurt again. Xander was..." Oz gulped, and I had to stifle a laugh, "right. This is powerful magic." He finished his spiel and looked at me pleadingly.
Cordelia stepped in. "They weren't stopping us because of the spell! It was because they needed Giles. That won't happen again. I bet that they're concentrating too hard on that demon guy to notice anything like what we're going to do." My mouth dropped open at how sensible she sounded. Even Oz looked nearly convinced. I turned to him.
"Oz, Cordelia's.." It was my turn to gulp, and it looked to me like he was holding back a laugh. "Right. They just got a lucky break last time, there shouldn't be anything to worry about. And I think I've gone through enough of Ms. Calendar's files to know how to work this." He was losing his resolve fast. I hurried to tap the final nail into the coffin. "Please. Trust me." He nodded.
"Then let's get started. Cordelia, put the orb in the center. Oz, surround it with candles. We have to hurry." They did as I said, and took out the printed curse and a Latin book. Oz handed the curse to me. "Cordelia, light the herbs." She did so. "Are we ready?"
"Stinky herbs are a go." She began to wave them slowly, letting the smoke travel around the table.
I started to speak when Oz interrupted me nervously. "Did I mention that I didn't take Latin?"
I didn't look at him, focusing again on the curse. Clear your mind, Willow. "You don't have to understand it. You just have to read it... I think." Okay, clear your mind of worry, clear your mind of doubt, and hatred. I took a deep breath and cast my stones onto the table. I cued Oz, who began speaking in Latin.
"Quad perditum est, inventeiter." Roughly translated meant 'What is lost return' I was suddenly grateful for taking Latin when I was in 8th grade.
My turn. "Not dead, nor not of the living. Spirits of the interregnum, I call. Gods, bind him. Cast his heart.." My breath started to get strained, and it hurt to speak. I continued. Nothing would stop me. "...from the evil....realm. Return.....I call on.." I tried to catch my breath. I heard Oz speak to me vaguely, but I was drifting away; inside myself, it seemed. I watch from inside my eyes as something took over my body and my head snapped back and forward. I was staring into the orb, willing that his soul be returned.
It was amazing. I was part, but I was separate, I was there but I was gone. I could feel all of it, but I was numb, too. We started speaking. "Te implore, Doamne, nu ignora, aceasta rugaminte." I implore you, Lord, do not ignore this request. Though we were speaking in a long dead language, I understood every word. I focused on it.
"Nici mort, nici al fiientei." Neither dead nor of the living. "Lesta orbita sa fie vasul care-iva transporta sufletul la el." Let this Orb be a vessel that will carry his soul to him. "Asa sa fie. Asa sa fie! Acum!" So shall it be! So shall it be! Now!
"Acum!!" Now!!
I felt something warm and thankful moving through me. It was Angel, I recognized, and I felt an overwhelming fondness for myself from him. He was my friend, I tried to tell him in the brief moment I had. I would do no less. Then as suddenly as my body had been inhabited, it was released. I looked around confusedly, knowing and not knowing what had just happened. Oz stared at me.
"Willow?"
I looked at him, about to speak when my mom came in the room. "Oh, honey! We were so worried!! Are you okay?" I nodded and she rushed over to hug me. I silently thanked whoever was responsible for keeping them out as long as they had.
"Mom. Mom, I'm fine! The doctors think I'll live," I said, jokingly. She burst into tears. She hugged me again.
Looking at Oz over my shoulder she addressed him. "Thank you for being with my baby during this. Thank you!" She looked at me. "Where's Xander? I would've thought he would be sleeping on the floor in here." She was calming down, and I was grateful. I still seemed pretty weak over what just happened.
"Oh, he has been. He just went out to..." I looked at Cordelia.
"Get some coffee and call his parents." She supplied. "We had to talk him into going out to get some air. He didn't want to leave her." Cordelia looked a little sad when she said those words, perhaps slightly realizing the truth behind them.
"Well, good news! The doctors said you can go today. If you feel strong enough, that is." My mom looked eager for me to be at home, so even though I really wasn't feeling up to par, I obliged. My own house would feel awfully nice, I admitted to myself.
"Sure, mom. How soon can we leave." She winked at me.
"Let me go find the doctor." My mother squeezed my hand tightly, and scurried off to look for someone. I turned to my boyfriend.
"Um, Oz. Why don't you take Cordy to the school so she can get her car, and go home from there. Have crosses?" They nodded. "Okay. I'll try to call you tonight. My dad doesn't seem to have come home with my mom, so it'll be easier unless she's in the mood for real mother daughter bonding after this. Chances are, she'll just want me rest. I think I'll insist on going to school tomorrow, so maybe we can just fill each other in then." I nodded to myself, liking that more than the phone thing. I was tired, and starting to show it. "Umm, Cordy, call Xander and ask him if everything went all right, okay?" She lifted her head in acknowledgment.
"Okay, guys, scoot. I'll see you tomorrow." Oz kissed me on the lips quickly, and I could practically taste his relief at me being okay. Cordy looked at us with a slight smile before heading out.
"I love you, Willow." Oz's voice sounded teary to my ears. I squeezed his hand.
"I love you, too." His eyes brightened, and he kissed me once again.
"Thanks." I smiled at him, and he turned towards the door to walk out. He stopped and looked back lingeringly once before heading out. I was glad, yet again, that I had made the decision I had. Better for everyone. Even me, I admitted. Especially me.
I leaned back against the bed and closed my eyes, thinking of all that had transpired in a few short hours. I was worried about Buffy. I knew, though, that Angel had made it safely back into his body. I knew that for sure, but I couldn't help wondering what had happened afterwards. I knew that Buffy would forgive him in a heartbeat for everything that Angelus had done, but I was worried nonetheless. I turned my thoughts to my mother who came in.
"Ready to go, kid?" She smiled at me.
"Yep!" I hoped so....
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We got home at around eight in the morning, and though what I really wanted to do was sleep, I wanted to know about what had happened even more. My mom was resistant at first, and then gave in to my assurances that Xander and Oz would be watching out for me, and wouldn't let me overdo it. I walked slowly and painfully up to my room. The doctor had made it clear that, other than short distances and the stairs, I was going to need a wheelchair for at least a week.
I got ready and went downstairs. I was somewhat surprised that my mother was giving in so easily, but, as I passed the mirror in the living room, I noticed my reflection. I looked more determined than I think I even felt. I was going to have to leave soon. I could feel my tiredness spreading, and I didn't want my mother to notice, and banish me from school.
A horn outside honked. Oz had gotten there just in time. My mom helped me into the car and kissed me good-bye before stepping inside the house again. I turned to Oz. He looked like he wished I would rather stay home.
"I'm not staying here." I wanted to make it clear right off the bat.
"What, you think I'm going to sit idly by while you and everyone else gets a chance to see Buffy? No sir, I'm too worried about her!" I smiled gently at him, grateful that he cared so much. "I'll be okay, Oz. If I'm not, I'll tell you right away. Okay?"
He nodded. "But you have to agree to let me take you home if you start feeling bad again, okay?"
I clutched at his free hand. "Okay."
We reached the school. Xander and Cordelia were waiting in the parking lot by Cordy's car. Xander took one look at me while Oz was getting out my wheelchair, and lifted me out in his arms, pulling me close to him.
"Xander! I *can* stand up for short amounts of time, you know. I'm not an invalid." I looked up at him in pretend annoyance, my heart thumping so hard, I thought he must have felt it. He winked at me.
"Oh, who said you were? I just wanted to carry you around." He wiggled his eyebrows at me suggestively and I giggled. We both noticed Cordelia and Oz ant the same time, and he quickly lowered me into my seat. I didn't want to be put down. I blushed at the thoughts I was having. Xander cleared his throat.
"I'm, um, gonna go get Giles. He wanted to meet us at the school if you decided to come. He wanted to ask you what all happened." Xander looked at me intensely for a minute, as though it was he who really wanted to know. "So, I'll go get him, and meet the rest of you over there?" He gestured to the front gate, and Cordelia nodded at him. He bounded off.
Oz took hold of my wheelchair, and started pushing me slowly along the sidewalk. Cordelia looked at us again with the little smile she had been wearing the night before. I wondered what she was thinking. "So, Willow. You really feeling up to being in school today? I can drive you home if you're not," she offered. I was touched by the concern she was showing, more than I had ever seen from her.
"No, thanks. I'm a little too worried about Buffy to stay home. Also, I feel better now that I'm around my friends..." I assured her.
"Like Xander?" As soon as she said it, she looked as though she wished she could take it back, and I couldn't figure out why.
"Yes. Xander has always made me feel better; ever since we were kids. But I mean Oz, and you too, Cordelia." She wrinkled her brow at my frank statement. I didn't know what she had been expecting. Ox started pushing me over the grass and we went slower, lapsing into silence.
I saw Xander before I saw Giles. He smiled at me. Then I noticed Giles, who was sporting, it looked like, four broken fingers. I wasn't sure. I wondered just what Angelus had done to him when they were alone. There was a haunted look in his eyes, like something had occurred that had hurt far more than anything physical. He lifted his eyes to me.
"Willow, are you sure you should be out of bed?"
I smirked slightly. "Look who's talking."
"Yes." He smiled.
Cordelia spoke. "Any word?"
Xander shook his head. "You guys haven't seen her, either?" It occurred to me that they had waited until everyone was present to even bring up the subject that was on all our minds. I was grateful.
"No." I kept it simple and brief, hoping that I didn't have to believe it.
"But we know the world didn't end, 'cause....check it out." Oz hurried to stress the hopefully positive side of things. But who knew what had to be given up to save the world.
Giles took off his glasses and started rubbing them with a handkerchief, a habit that I now recognized as a nervous one. "Well, we uh...we went back to the mansion. It was empty. Acathala was--was uh, dormant." He looked up as though he had said something very damaging.
I supplied hopefully, "Well, I think the spell worked. I felt something go through me."
"Plus, the Orb did that cool glow thing." We all gave Cordelia small smiles for her comment.
Xander looked decidedly worried. "Well, maybe it wasn't in time, and she had to kill him before the spell worked." I studied him a little closer. There was something else behind his eyes.... Somthing.... I reached out, and the thought eluded me. He shook his head, denying me the search again.
"Well, then, she'd wanna be alone, I guess." Oz said.
My heart was still hoping, despite the deep hurt I felt. I almost felt like Buffy was nearby, and I could see inside her heart. I shook my head to clear off my strange thoughts. "Or maybe Angel *was* saved, and they want to be alone together."
Giles looked down, and I had the distinct feeling he was holding something back as well. "Perhaps."
"Well, she's gotta show up sooner or later. We still have school." Cordelia sounded like she was trying to be sure. I wanted a part of that, being sure she was okay.
"Yeah. " I started looking around, telling myself that I would sweep my head around and she would be there. "She'll be here soon." I nodded to myself, hoping, praying. But I already knew it wasn't true. Something had happened, some emotional bond between us that had come out of me restoring Angel's soul, and somehow I already knew it was too late.
We turned around and headed into the school, and I felt part of me drifting away. Almost hopelessly. Tears filled my eyes, and I rubbed them away with my fists, denying the sadness that was all of the sudden flung upon me. Xander noticed and touched my arm.
"Are you okay?" He looked anxious.
"Yes, I'm fine. I would like to go to the library, though,and talk to Giles for a moment." Xander nodded understandingly, and we all went in. I looked around at my friends, looking at me expectantly. "Um, alone."
Giles looked at me, startled. "Oh, um, of course." He wheeled me into his office, and gestured to the others that we would be right back. "What's this about?" he questioned as soon as the door was closed.
"About Buffy. I want to know what you weren't telling us outside." I asked him directly, not feeling good enough to beat around the bush and be gentle. He sighed deeply.
"Well, I don't know if you know quite all of it, but the only way to open or close the porthole was with Angel's blood. And I can only assume, since the porthole is now dormant, and since you felt something 'go through you' that she had to kill the ensouled Angel." My eyes got bigger and bigger in disbelief, but what he said made perfect sense, all of it seeming to fall into place. He continued. "Snyder has already informed me--somewhat gleefuly-- that he expelled her last night. It took *all* of my self control not to knock him flat," he added with a surprising amount of viciousness. Of course, I felt no less towards that man.
"So, I'm guessing that she took her life somewhere else, where she didn't think she would be hurting anybody. You know that she blames herself for every life touched by this evilness. The 'love of her life' had to be slaughtered for the sake of humanity. I am proud of the choice she made, but she shouldn't have had to make it. So much heaviness and responsibility has been heaped on her small shoulders. And I didn't do my duty towards her." He finished just as his lip started trembling and his shoulders slumped forward like a man in despair.
"Giles, you didn't fail her. It was just a cruel turn if events! Now, is there any way we can get Angel back? Maybe she'll then realize that she is wanted here, needed here. We'll worry about the school thing later." I handed him a Kleenex and a took it, wiping at the tears that had filled his eyes in grief over his Slayer.
"Well, yes. There are some things that you could do. But none of them really apply." He looked at me sadly.
"Like what?"
Giles threw his hands up. "Oh, I don't know. Like having his wife do a ceremony to bring him back, but even if Angel had a wife, she's long dead." I felt my eyes bug out, and opened my mouth to talk, but he interrupted me, and silenced me in the process. "And we would need someone who had betrayed him. It's not a hard ceremony, but there's no way we could do that." Everything seemed to stop for me. Things clicked into place, and my heart thudded sadly.
I took a deep breath. "No, Giles, there is a way. We need to talk to Xander."