It had been so hard to resist her all week. To stay away from the temptation to grab her and just drive out of Sunnyhell. Screw Buffy, screw Angel. It would be her and I again.
But I knew that wouldn't work. It didn't last time.
So I spent the days until Friday pretending that having Angelus back would be the highlight of my immortal life.
Whoo bloody hoo.
The Slayer and I met a couple more times, just to go over the plans. Not like they were intricate or anything. I think we just used that as an excuse for company. She was alone in her motel, not talking to anyone else. And though I was with Dru, I too was alone.
During the day I would lie beside her, feeling the tremors in my body, fighting the urge to just hold onto her and never let go. It would have been so much easier if I hadn't had to be so close to her, but Buffy and I agreed it would be suspicious. Or rather, Buffy had said so and I had just nodded.
Taking orders from the Slayer. What's wrong with me?
Tonight's the night. I feel more nervous than a virgin on Prom night. I watch Dru as she twirls around the room, humming to herself. She's unusually perky. Hell, 'perky' is a word I never would have thought to apply to Dru.
Still humming, she saunters up to me, a rose in her hand. She plucks a petal and caresses it over my cheek, my lips. "Tonight is a happy night," she whispers, pressing her forehead to mine, her lips barely grazing mine as she speaks. "Our family will be together again, just like old times," she purrs. My kitten.
I stroke her soft hair, brushing the curls back over her shoulder. "Now, now, my pet," I playfully scold, "you shouldn't be distracting yourself, not before your big night."
It works, for she moves off me, returning to her solitary dance. Petals float in the air as she twirls, stripping the poor rose naked. The broken stem drops to the ground and slowly, she stops. She picks up the book from the bed and puts on her coat.
"Come, Spike. It's time," she drawls, crooking her finger at me. Obediently, I follow. Out the bedroom, down the stairs, into the street. I know Buffy is in hiding somewhere nearby, watching. I try to inconspicuously scan the area for the Slayer, but I see nothing. A small part of me panics, thinking she might have forgotten. But I shut it up; Buffy wouldn't do that.
"Dru, luv, where are we going?" I casually ask, since she wouldn't tell me all week. Also hoping that Buffy will overhear her answer, just in case she gets lost while following us.
"The school," she says sweetly. "It's the most powerful part of the Hellmouth."
"Oh, is that so?" I ask, attemting to seem intersted.
"Yes...a little birdie told me."
"Well, that's nice," I say offhandedly. I can't see the Slayer anywhere around the house. I guess that's a good thing, since Dru won't see her either, but a part of me...misses her.
We walk away from the house. That's what I have to do. Walk away. Grieve for the loss of her love, and never look back.
It sounds so easy. But nothing is *ever* easy.
We make our way to the school, her small cold hand in mine. I hate Angelus for coming back. I hate him for taking her away.
And I am on my way to save him. Oh what a tangled web we weave.
If I listen hard enough, I think I can hear the Slayer's footsteps as she follows us. I think I can even feel her eyes on my back, narrowed in suspicion, dark with questions. Is this all just a big scam to bring her down? Will it work, or will her heart be broken again?
We reach the school, Dru leading the way to the library. So many things have happened here. She lights a candle, the faint light enough to read by. As she opens the book, I can feel tingling in the air.
I've never felt this tense, this nervous. I bite my lip, the thought of standing directly atop the hellmouth just a tad disconcerting. Funny, you'd think the demon would be ecstatic. But it's always been a theory of mine that the demons, just like people, have different strengths. Angelus' must be the Hulk Hogan of them. Mine, more like the guy in the crowd, holding the beer and yelling drunk comments.
Dru begins the incantation, her Latin perfect. After all, she almost was a nun. I snicker in my mind. What a waste that would have been.
Her words ring clear and loud through the library, and it feels almost...disappointing. I mean, we've been waiting for this for nearly a month and nothing is really happening.
I instantly regret that last thought as a blinding flash, accompanied by what sounds like the loudest clap of thunder I have ever heard, explodes in the library. A tiny pinprick of light is now hovering in the middle of the room, the size of a baseball. No, a basketball.
I realize that it is getting bigger. Much, much bigger. Quickly it expands, its color turning from white to a miasma of reds, golds, blues, purples. All swirling like the tie-dye of a Grateful Dead t-shirt.
It is the portal. And it is roaring, with what sounds like a million muted voices speaking of torment. Words are indistinguishable, it's more of a feeling. A sickening, gut wrenching feeling. The hair is standing on my arms, on the back of my neck.
I am truly, deeply terrified.
So is Dru. I can see her holding her hand to her chest, her mouth moving but her words drowned out by the sound of the portal. I didn't realize until now that there is also a strong wind whipping through the library, blowing the dark curls in her face, hurling books off the shelves.
"Dru!" I shout, trying to be heard over the voices and the wind.
She turns to me, fear in her eyes. I make my way over to her and grab her arms.
"Spike!" she cries, and I know she is just as terrified. In the back of my mind, I am confused. Why would the demons be scared of the place from which they came?
"You have to finish the spell, Dru," I shout, trying to get my mind back on track. Bring Angel back. Make Buffy happy.
Her free hand clutched in mine, she holds the book up. The candle was long ago blown out, but the portal offers enough light. More than enough. In fact, it is getting brighter. It's size has remained stable, but the colors are getting more brilliant. And more violent. They are spinning now. Someone tossed the Deadhead shirt in the dryer.
Dru squeezes my hand and picks up where she must have left off. It is then that I see the Slayer out of the corner of my eye. She is in the upper level of the library, gripping the railing, her blonde hair whipping savagely around her face.
Dru finishes the spell. "My Angel, come back to us," she yells over the wind. The lights flash brilliantly for a second, and then slightly dim. I can hear a moan come up through the portal.
"Angel!" a female voice calls out, and it's not Dru. I snap my head up to look at the Slayer. So does Dru, and I feel a new sense of horror.
The Slayer revealed herself. Dru's face is now vamped, and she snarls. "Look, Spike," she hisses, though I can barely hear her over the wind, "we've got company."
Oh shit.
Dru begins stalking her way up to Buffy, and a deep sickening sensation sinks its way through my stomach. I can only stand, grounded, and watch.
A flash of light makes her pause, and she turns her eyes to the portal; but then she returns to her advance on Buffy, who doesn't even notice her predatory stalking. She's too busy staring at the whirling lights, mouthing over and over the name of her lover.
Dru passes me on the way to the Slayer. "Now I'll have two, just like you, Spike," she whispers in my ear.
"Dru, no-" I say, trying to stop her advance, until I realize that something else has. She stops walking, looking for all the world like one of those bloody mimes who is trying to walk against the wind. My eyes shift quickly between her and the Slayer, who is now climbing slowly down the stairs, her gaze fixed steadily on the portal.
"Spike!" Dru screams, panicked.
"What is it luv?" I run over to her and grab her by the shoulders.
"It's holding me, Spike! I can't reach...I'm trying to move but it holds me tight...like a statue, cold and dead. Am I dead, Spike? Make it stop!"
From where I stand, I can see the Slayer, standing at the foot of the staircase. She walks slowly towards the portal. "No!" I scream out to her. "Stay away!"
She turns her head and looks at me, her tear stained face full of agony. Dru's wail brings my attention back to her.
"Spike! It's pulling on me...it's making me go!" At first I don't understand, but realization hits hard and fast; and it is not good. The whole bloody situation is, no pun intended, going to Hell.
Dru is being dragged in towards the portal.
She is clawing at the air as an invisible force pulls her in. Her desperate cries and pleas are being drowned out by the ever increasing wind. I feel frozen with fear.
I break myself free and run after her. "Close the portal!" she yells.
I am about to ask how when the answer hits me. An answer that reminds me of sitting in a hotel room with the Slayer, my rusty Latin the only aid we had in decoding a spell.
The blood of a mortal.
The blood of the Slayer.
My fists are balled so tightly that my nails are cutting into my flesh.
'No, please, God, don't make me do this!' I frantically beg. It's the first time I have ever prayed to God since I was a small boy.
'Don't make me choose.'
* * * * * * *
Author's Note: okay here is where the story forks off. 2b will continue with the first
ending, and the Dark Shades VI will pick up from that ending.
I will post after that "A Different Shade" which has continuity from the Dark Shades I
through V, up until this point where it forks off.
It is the ALTERNATE ending that has the Buffy/Spike get together for those
that want more than just friendship < nudge, wink >
Hope that's not too confusing!
Go on to the alternate ending: A Different Shade This part contains adult content