TYPE: Archve Fic: The concept of an archive fic is it's a silly little story
author's use to convey information to the people on the Buffy-beta list
RATING: G(eez its just an archive fic!)
DISTRIBUTION: Who the hell would want this? no one...so lets move on...
DISCLAIMER: Spike belongs to Joss...Snot Boy is his own entity...the
particular Johnny Rockets in question belongs to a really annoying, cheap,
sleazy guy named Kenny.
THANKS: To Rebe, the boy scout shorts Queen, for beta-ing the insanity.
Stuff in italics is my own personal thoughts as I write this..scary aint it?
THE IMPORTANT STUFF IS AT THE BOTTOM AND YOU CAN SKIP THERE IF YOU WANT...BUT
I SPENT TWO WHOLE BRAIN CELLS WRITING THIS SO IF YA WANNA MAKE ME FEEL HAPPY ,
READ IT!
The Falls Mall (an extremely overpriced but pretty mall in southern Miami, FL)
To be more exact, the Johnny Rockets restaurant
10:13 pm
Dare sighed. She was sick of listening to the same set of songs play over and over and over and OVER again. She was sick of serving french fries to thirteen year olds dressed up in way too much makeup and way too little clothes who never tipped. She was sick of the extremely dorky hat she had to wear.
She was sick of a lot of things. The brief thought of dragging her boyfriend back to the walk-in refridgerator to do some "broomcloseting" made famous by Xander and Cordy flittered across her mind, but she decided against it. She glanced at the clock. A little under two hours left. All her tables (heck, all ONE of them) were taken care of and she was just waiting for them to pay.
She started swing dancing to "Rock Around the Clock" with Kelly until a male voice cut through the music, "Luv, can I cut in?"
Dare whipped around. She'd know that arrogant British voice anywhere!
"Spike!" She shook Kelly off faster than a Ferrarri Testarossa and began dancing with the platinum blonde vamp. "Long time no see!"
"And who's fault would that be, pet?" he said, his tone clearly indicating that he knew the answer very well.
They stopped dancing and Dare hung her head in shame. "I know, I know. I'm a bad, rude girl."
"Yes, I would say you are."
Dare shook her head. Sometimes, he was just SO infuriating! "Well, I've been busy!" she protested, rather lamely.
"Oh, doing what?" he said, sarcasm dripping like sweet honey from the hive that was a really lame simile....Sorry, I'll try to think of better ones. "You're summer Chemistry class at FIU ended in *mid-June*. You sleep until two in the afternoon now! Then you get up and wander around the house like a looney..."
"You mean like Dru?" Dare interrupted, an evil smile on her face.
"Hush yo mouth!" Spike said quickly, then continued with his lecture. "You walk around the house like a looney doing nothing, watching cartoons, especially that crappy Sailor Moon show-"
"Hey!" Dare interrupted again, "It loses its maturity in the English version...I read into it for deepness."
"Bloody hell it does," Spike muttered under his breath. "So...you don't do anything, and yet you have no time to write?!"
"I work," Dare feebly protested.
"So what? You come home and stay on the computer until four in the morning, at LEAST! And yet, you can't write anything!"
"I...I...I uh, I do research! Yeah, that's it!"
Spike rolled his eyes and ran a hand through his hair. "Like reading Gargoyles and adult Power Ranger fanfiction is *research*."
"Wait a minute! I'll have you know that *Rebecca* was the one who sent me to that adult Power Rangers fanfic site! I wasn't looking for it...I was shocked and appalled!" hehe if any of you want that URL, Rebe and I can give it to you...um, not that I have it bookmarked or anything :)
"Sure, fine, whatever," Spike said, clearly not believing her.
"But I *had* to read the Gargoyles fic! I mean its not fair...Goliath and Elisa never really got together in the show and we all knew they would eventually, but Disney sent the animation down the drain and cancelled the show before it got to happen!!" Dare whined.
Spike grabbed her by the shoulders. "Look here, I don't know why you're procrastinating-"
Yet again, Dare interrupted. "Procrastination breeds excellence!" she shouted out like a soldier who had been drilled to say that. Thanks to Colonel Rebecca on that one guys...she pounds it into my head every day!
Spike rolled his eyes again. "You're beginning to bloody sound like Rebecca."
Just then a chorus of "HI! WELCOME TO JOHNNY ROCKETS!" burst through the
restaurant. Dare looked to see who had come in. To her utter amazement, it was
none other than Snot Boy....whose real identity is only known to those true U2
fans.
Oh bloody hell, I might as well tell you who he is...he's Adam Clayton, the
bass guitarist of U2...Rebe and I call him Snot Boy cause one time I sneezed
right onto my shirt that had a picture of him on it...yeah I know its gross
"Snot Boy!" she called out, and grabbed him. "Sign this menu! Sign this
milkshake! When's the next album coming out? Is Larry or Edge here? Where's
the sexiest man on earth: Bono???!!! Can he please moan for me?? Oh god, let
him moan for me!"
Rebe here said: "can you imagine if you met Adam for real and you called him
Snot Boy?" hee hee...okay i just thought that was cute...moving on..
Snot Boy looked at her with a funny grin on his face. "Don't worry," he said in an accent more British than Irish. "Every little thing is going to be alright." There's a picture of him I saw once where he was wearing a shirt that said that....It was one of the cutest, most adorable pics I have ever seen
"What do you mean?" she asked. "Are you going to write my story for me??!!"
"No, you bloody wanker," Snot Boy said. "I'm going to tell you that if you don't get up off your lazy arse, then I am going to kick it until you do!"
"Um...writer's block?"
"Sorry, luv," Spike told her. "Blaming it on writer's block will get you nowhere. You can't hide things from us. We know you are just too bloody lazy to write."
"Yeah," Snot Boy added. "And there's a big problem up ahead...you leave to go back to UF on the 21st of August, and you have no computer up there...so if you don't finish the Dark Shades by then, you're well...up the creek without a paddle...the shite will hit the fan, so to speak." Shite....its how those European accented people say it...well mostly the Irish
"Look," Dare said, sobering up and taking responsibility....as best as she could....she's never been much for responsibility. "I'll strike a deal with you guys. I will finish part 5 of the Dark Shades as soon as possible, if you promise to let me meet Bono."
Snot Boy nodded. "I'll see what I can do."
Spike nodded too, but a dark look came over his handsome face. "Um, Dare?" he asked in a whisper.
"What?"
"Try not to hurt me too much, please??"
Dare laughed. And laughed. An evil, horrible laugh that rang with the dark undercurrents of a truly demonic thought. "Oh, Spike...you poor wanker...you have NO idea what lies ahead for you!"
Spike frowned. "Just don't let me wait too long..."
"Oh, I won't...I won't...."
Evil laughter continued to flow through the restaurant. But then Dare shut up. She had a LOT of work to do!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You can disregard this the information part of the story as elaborated below because it is out of date at this point
Okay here's the deal....I have been getting a lot of emails asking when the next part is up...I know how frustrating it is when people make you wait for a series to finish....(this one author from X-Files fic made us poor souls wait a year and a half once!) so I will try to finish the Dark Shades soon (in a week, hopefully sooner).
Now, some of you might be upset at me for what will happen...sorry....it's what I have planned all along for this story...in fact, it was the ONLY part of this series that WAS planned. You'll see what I am talking about...< eg >
Now, there will be two endings...one will be the main ending and it will be posted first...for those of you wanting Buffy and Spike to have more than just a friendship < nudge, wink > an alternate ending will be out hopefully not too long after. That alternate ending will be called A DIFFERENT SHADE...and maybe it will blossom from there :)
The Dark Shades will continue into a 6th series, in the aftermath of what happens in part 5...hehe....it will be spike angst up the wazoo! See, the series is sorta forking into two different universes, all based on this part 5.
So....to reiterate...Part 5 will be finished in a week, at least. The alternate ending will be up soon after...and Part 6 will be out, I promise, before I go back to school.
Any future stories will have to be typed on my roomie's compy, then forwarded to Rebe, who I am sure will post them and put them on her page....if I beat her hard enough! ;)
Thanks for reading and ESPECIALLY for waiting.
Dare
Back, back I say!