SUMMARY: It's girls' night out in Sunnydale, only this time the 'girls' are Giles, Xander and Angel...in drag!
RATING: PG-13 (for drag queen-ness and mild name calling centered around loose women)
CONTENT: Well, they're in drag...major silliness abound (to forget what Joss has done to the poor guys!)
DISCLAIMER: Joss, the WB and Fox own these characters; I just own their alternate lifestyles...< run, run screaming into the hills..yes you! you with the boyscout shorts and heels!...if the thought of drag queens frightens you! > (sorry that was for Rebecca) This story is meant to be *silly* and to have no reason for existing other than that I was really, really bored. The characters are intentionally out of character. Yadda yadda yadda...no offense...i love everyone...give peace a chance...peace in northern Ireland...May Ulster's Troubles be history...Imagine all the people...rambling...off with the horns and on with the show!

"Life In Sunnydale: What a Drag!"

Part Two: Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

Giles and Xander walked to Angel's apartment, enjoying the cat calls and whistles as they went down the street. Xander knew that they were for him, for *his* legs, but he didn't feel like raining on Giles' parade. After all, the man was so close to getting gray hair that he didn't want to add to his stress. Xander didn't want to be the one to take away what little beauty Giles had left! Besides, talking to Giles would require concentration and his brain was too full from trying to figure out what outfit he was going to wear tomorrow night.

A horn honked repeatedly, followed by a chorus of "yo baby!" Giles smirked smugly to himself. He didn't want to burst Xander's bubble by telling him that they were honking at *him*. He adjusted the hem of his mini-skirt, feeling very proud of himself.

They arrived at Angel's apartment, knocking on the door. There was no answer. "Maybe he was blow drying his hair in the tub and electrocuted himself!" Xander said joyously.

The door opened at that moment, followed by a voice saying, "No such luck, Hyena Boy."

Xander wrinkled his brow and assumed a defensive posture. "Wanna have a go at it, Deadman?"

Angel looked hopeful for a second, then sighed. "I would kick your ass, but I might get a run in my panty hose."

Giles intervened before any more hostility could be exchanged. "Angel, I love you outfit!" he exclaimed hoping to change the topic.

"Ooh! Thanks!" Angel gushed, and Giles inwardly congratulated himself on his sly tactic of using Angel's favorite vanity to distract him. Angel adjusted his bustier so that it better accentuated his cleavage. He then made sure that the slit in the floor-length skirt he was wearing was perfectly aligned with the front of his left thigh. He gave a satisfied little pat to it and grabbed his purse. "Come on, let's go!"

All three turned and headed for the Bronze. As they walked off, Xander mumbled under his breath, "I don't know why I go anywhere with you looking like that...you look like the cheap trash on the Jerry Springer show."

Angel whirled around and came face to face with the now-terrified-but-doing -his-best-to-hide-it Xander. "Did you forget that my vampire hearing is much better than yours?"

Xander shoved at Angel. "So what? You're always in my face!"

Angel shoved at Xander. "That's cause you're always calling me a Deadboy! I'm no boy...I'm *all* woman baby!"

Xander grabbed Angel by his hair and pulled. "I *never* call you Deadboy! I call you DeadHo!"

Angel slapped Xander across his face. "Augh!" he squealed. "How could you!"

Xander rubbed his face, then slapped Angel back. "You smudged my lipstick!" he yelled.

Angel glared at Xander for a while, then reached down and removed his black velvet platform heels. He tossed it, groaning under the strain, at Xander, who ducked.

"You throw like a girl!" he screeched, and removed one of his thigh high boots so fast it was nearly miraculous. In the split second Angel had to duck it, he thought ''he must be used to taking his clothes off so quickly!"

The boot flew over Angel's head and connected with Giles, who rolled his eyes back and crumpled to the floor, muttering something about having the vapors. After all, no classy chic would pass out from having a shoe hit her in the head. It just wasn't socially acceptable, and Giles had had plenty of social training at Madame Carlotta's finishing school in England.

"Oh poo!" Angel exclaimed. "Poor Giles! This is *just* like Ally McBeal."

At the mention of their favorite TV show (night time show that is; no one could compete with Oprah during the day) Xander lost all animosity. "Oh you are *so* right!" he told Angel, giving him a playful push on the shoulder. "Leave it to you to come up with such insight!"

Angel blushed. "Well, when you tape and watch every episode a million times, it just sort of becomes second nature."

"You tape it too?!" Xander exclaimed.

Angel shrugged like it was no big deal. "I would do anything for Ally...I mean she is just such a positive role model for us women who depend on men for everything but are outwardly trying to deny it! She's like the Donna Reed of the nineties, only with a career."

"Only she doesn't get dressed up in heels just to vacuum the living room!" Xander added and they both laughed, enjoying just how far women had come since the fifties. As Giles regained consciousness and they helped him up, Angel couldn't help but feel proud and exhilarated at how women like them could make even further progress. They adjusted their high heels, straightened out their skimpy clothes, and walked off into the future.

the possible end...who knows maybe this insanity will go on forever. ( i know you all are thinking "NOOOOOO!) :)