Okay..this is a story that Dare and I wrote uh..last year. It's a Men In Black/ Highlander the series crossover (so if you haven't seen the movie or the show you probably won't get it.)
Actually I'll give you a quick run-down.
MIB..I'm sure you know the premise even if you haven't seen it. There's an organization that controls the alien population living in secret on earth. The noisy cricket is a tiny gun they use with a HUGE blast...
the neuralizer is a red light, flasher thing that makes you forget what you've seen....
Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones starred.
Highlander the Series. Duncan MacLeod is a 400 year old immortal born in the Highlands of Scotland. The show follows his adventures as he battles evil. The only way to kill an immortal is to cut off their head..in the end there can be only one so they all carry swords around with them.
A Quickening is what happens when one immortal cuts off the other's head..it's a transfer of energy involving a lot of explosions and groaning.
Amanda is a charming thief (immortal) and Duncan's on again-off again love. (she's awesome.)
Tessa was Duncan's girlfriend (mortal) who was killed.
Anne is the woman who replaced Tessa but she left him.
Methos is the oldest immortal alive. He drinks beer (not that he's an alcoholic)..and has inspired a lot of Duncan/Methos slash fic.
Richie was Duncan's student until Duncan accidentally killed him.
Joe is a Watcher.
The parts of the story in italics are not actually parts of the story..they're just me and Darr talking in IM because we wrote the story in an IM. I'm including the whole thing with off topic comments and all.
Agent Dare: Suddenly, the floor below Rebecca breaks as she lands on it, and she finds herself within the inner core of the Earth
Lady RHood: "It's kinda hot down here" she says and puts on her sunglasses
Agent Dare: ** Here come the men in black ** Music plays in the background
Lady RHood: Rebecca puts on flame resistant suit and screams "Women in black you moron"
Agent Dare: Will Smith stops his rapping and says "Hey hey...chill, WO-man, ya dont have to be getting up all in my face and going 'Woman in black, ya dumb bootie moron.' I understand, its cool with me..."
He resumes rapping ** here come the women in black **
Lady RHood: "That's better" Rebecca says and crosses her arms over her chest, looking like a total bad ass.
Lady RHood: Suddenly Dare zooms up in her car..the paint is melting from the heat but somehow it still runs.
Agent Dare: Will Smith says "Yo, yo, you don't have to go gettin' all bad ass on me, now..you and me, we're cool right? Ya aint gonna be shootin' my ass out with a noisy cricket, are you?" He made a little pouty face..."Are you?"
Lady RHood: Rebecca thinks about it for a second, then says,"Not this time, sweet cheeks"
Agent Dare: She gets into the car, and Dare says "put on your seatbelt."
Will Smith runs up to the window and knocks. "Hey, uh, can i go with y'all?"
Agent Dare: Dare turns to Rebe and says, "What do you think?"
Lady RHood: "We got room in the back, or the trunk is always available..if you don't mind sitting on those guns"
Lady RHood: "Cool guns!" says Will.
"Get in the back seat" orders Rebecca
Agent Dare: "Nah! I'm cool with that.....I think I'll just sit on Dare's lap"
Dare turnes to him with a cold face. "No. I'm driving."
"Damn! Ya dont have to go all PMS-ish on me. I'll just sit here then." He sits on Rebecca's lap. She makes a face.
"That is a noisy cricket in my pocket," she says, "and it is *not* happy to see you."
Will gets in the trunk.
Agent Dare: trunk=backseat....sorry it was a slipup
Lady RHood: "So what slime sucking aliens are we hunting for today" Rebecca asks
Agent Dare: "They're called "LilXenaFans from the planet Argo." Dare informs her.
Will leans closer to them. "Hey how about we look for those immortal people from that Z-planet."
Rebecca shoots him a look that hurts more than a noisy cricket blast.
Lady RHood: "If you ever mention THAT planet again," she says. "I will personally get medieval on your ass"
Agent Dare: "Is that a promise?" Will grins
Lady RHood: Rebecca rolls her eyes and resists the urge to stick out her tongue...she settles for flicking him a bird
Lady RHood: i have to go soon..mom wants to sleep
Agent Dare: Then she pulls out her neuralizer and zapps him.
As he stares blankly, she says "You are Duncan MacLeod of the Clan MacLeod. You are the Higlander, born in 1592 in the Highlands of Scotland."
Lady RHood: i don't want to go I love this story ;)
Agent Dare: ok
Agent Dare: You save it and we'll continue it..maybe post it on the Highlander fic list as a X-over :)
Lady RHood: Will nods
"Where's me sword?" he asks in a Scottich accent
Agent Dare: "Check your pants." Dare says in monotone
Agent Dare:WILL:< with Scottish accent > "Ya cannaet expect me ta fight aliens without me sword"
Lady RHood: Dare looks over at Rebecca "Now look what you've done!"
Lady RHood: Rebecca hands Will a tiny letter opener "Here's your sword Duncan" she says.
Agent Dare: "Hey!" Rebecca says defensively to Dare, "Duncan MacLeod is better than Will Smith anyday."
Lady RHood: A satisfied grin settles onto Will's face, and he waves his *sword* happily, while singing the Scottish National Anthem
Lady RHood: Dare looks at the singing Will "Yeah but what kind of Duncan is that?"
Agent Dare: "One that *won't* fall in love with an annoying blonde named Tessa." Rebecca replies.
Lady RHood: Dare laughs evilly. That blonde wasn't just annoying, she was pure alien. When we killed her we did the world a favor."
Agent Dare:"Yes. Too bad we couldn't get to Dr. Anne in time. Her elusiveness is one of the few things I regret in my life."
Agent Dare: "Luckily," Rebecca adds, "Our coworker Amanda is able to lovingly keep an eye out for Duncan."
Lady RHood: "I think she would get a kick out of this" Rebecca adds, nodding her head towards WIll who is now screaming "I am Duncan MacLeod of the Clan MacLeod"
"It's been a long time since our last visit" adds Dare.
Lady RHood: The duo nods in unison and turns the car to hyperspeed
Agent Dare: "Maybe she'll do some tightrope walking for us," Dare speculates.
Agent Dare: "Our steal our wallets," Rebecca adds. Again, the duo laugh..Meanwhile, Will Smith is pretendign to have a Quickening.
Agent Dare:"Unnh, Oh, Ugg, UNNNNNHHHH OHH OHH AAAUHHH!" he is yelling.
Lady RHood: Rebecca stares at the shaking man, while he moans suggestively. "This has real possibilities" she says with a coy smile
Agent Dare: "Yeah," Dare grins evilly. "Too bad he isnt the *real* HIghlander." The duo both sigh, a dreamy look in their eyes, and wipe the drool from their mouths.
Agent Dare:Suddenly, the hood of the Ford P.O.S. stirkes something heavy. "What was that?" Rebecca asks.
Agent Dare: Dare looks out the window. "It's Tommy Lee Jones!"
Lady RHood: Rebecca sticks her head out the window. "Are you ok?" she screams
Lady RHood: Dare pulls the car to a screeching halt, and the WIB climb out of the car
Agent Dare: Tommy Lee gets in the car, sitting next to Will. "Uh, I dont recall saying you can get in," Rebecca says bitchily. They follow him back into the car.
Agent Dare: "Y'know," Dare says, "This could have real possibilities. Should we make him Richie or Methos?"
Lady RHood: "He's got his head," says Rebecca. "So make him Methos"
Agent Dare: "Ladies," TLJ says with a detached voice. "I hardly think that I look like a 5000 year old Immortal. Now if you'll just look here at the red-light on the top of my sword...."
Agent Dare: "No way, Jose," Dare says, and Rebecca whips out her neuralizer and flashes him before he has a chance to flash them,.
Agent Dare: Rebecca grabs Tommy's neuralizer from his grasp.
"Methos!" she says, "What a delight it is to see you!"
Lady RHood: "I want you...badly" he says dazedly
Lady RHood: Then he offers the ladies each a beer
Agent Dare: "Surprise, you're not dead," Dare tells him, and she and Rebecca laugh.
"Hey! That's my line!" He says. "YOU just don't like me cause my nose is too big."
Lady RHood: "Awww, he's so cute when he's angry" laughs Rebecca
Lady RHood:"We better reach Amanda soon, there's barely any room left in the car" says Dare.
"We always have the trunk" answers Rebecca
Lady RHood:Dare screeches around a corner, plastering everyone against the side of the car
Agent Dare: "His nose is *so* big," Dare says after they straighten out, "he cant fit in the trunk!" She, Rebecca, and Will/Duncan laugh.
Lady RHood: "Methos!" Will says as Tommy Lee lies on top of him. "Is that a noisy cricket in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?"
Agent Dare: I told my mom about this story and she says that we should stop writing copyrighted stuff and write original stuff so we can sell it and make money.
Agent Dare: "I'm just happy to see you," Methos growls. "Wanna share another Quickening?"
Lady RHood:Rebecca looks at the two men in disgust. "Put your slinkies away boys"
yeah people will buy stories like thisHA
Agent Dare: "Slinkies are fun for a girl or a boy!" Will/Duncan informs them.
Lady RHood: "Or two boys" Tommy/Methos adds.
Lady RHood: He smiles at Will/Duncan and winks.
Agent Dare:"Great," Rebecca says dryly. "We tell him to be Methos. Who knew he'd be a *drunk* Methos?!"
"Is there any other kind?" Dare adds humorously.
Agent Dare: "show me the way to go home" Methos/TLJ sings in a drunken slur, "I'm tired and I want to cut off heads."
"It's 'go to bed' ye damn fruitcake!" Duncan/Will yells, and slaps him on the head.
Lady RHood: "Hey!!" Methos/Tommy yells as he starts to cry. "Mommies..he hit me!!"
Lady RHood: "Stop whining ya damn fruitcake!" Dare says meanly.
Lady RHood: "Yeah!!" Rebecca adds.
Lady RHood: "And we are not your mommies!!"
Lady RHood: sorry I'll give you a chance to type something now :)
Agent Dare: Methos/Tommy slinks back in his seat and wipes his tears. Duncan pulls out his sword. "I've got a sword...and ye don't...that's becuz I'm much better than ye...and I could kick the sorry *(#*$)%* out of your ()*)E% arse!"
Rebecca turns around and wacks Duncan/Will on the head. "Stop your ()*#$#_@ cursing." Duncan begins to cry like a little wussy. Methos/Tommy stops crying long enough to laugh at him.
Lady RHood: "You got in trouble, neener neener neener," he taunts. Duncan/Will pouts, then brandishes his letter opener threateningly.
"You better not laugh at me or I'll take your head.." he hisses.
"How come I don't have a sword?" Methos/TLJ whines. Dare rolls her eyes and heaves a heavy sigh. But she reaches into her pocket and brings out a teeny tiny plastic toothpick shaped as a sword. (you know like the ones they use for cocktail weenies).
She hands it to him with a solemn expression.
Lady RHood: "What do you think I am a cocktail weenie?" Methos/TLJ exclaims.
Agent Dare: Dare and Rebecca look at each other, trying their best not to laugh. "Well," Rebecca starts, "I haven't quite had the opportunity to find out for myself."
Dare joins in between something that sounded like a cross between a choke and a laugh, "although we could always ask < insert the name of his girlfriend that died of cancer but i forgot it here >....or Cassandra, but I think she would give us a bit of a...biased...answer."
"We could just ask Duncan," Rebecca soberly adds.
Agent Dare: "Hey! What are you insinuating?" Mehtos/Tommy yells, waving his cocktail weenie sword in a manner that was anything but threatening, though the WIB are sure that was what it was intended to be.
Lady RHood: "Oooh scary," Rebecca says with mock fear. Methos/Tommy sits back, a satisfied expression on his face. Rebecca shakes her head and returns her attention to the road. Because by now they are out of the center of the earth with its fiery molten lava core and out on the freeway. Which freeway? Does it matter?
"So how long till we reach Amanda's house?" Rebecca asks. "These two are starting to get on my nerves."
"Not much longer," Dare answers, through clenched teeth.
Lady RHood: "ok," Rebecca answers. "Cause I think you missed a turn or something."
"Look," Dare says. "Just sit there and shut up..nobody likes a backseat driver."
"Watch the road!" Rebecca screams, as a loud thump assails their ears
Lady RHood: "Besides I'm in the passenger's seat, not the backseat."