RATING: PG
CONTENT: violence/sexual references
SPOILER WARNINGS: Buffy season 5 'Fool for love'
DISCLAIMER: I don't own these characters, Joss and Co do.
SUMMARY: Spike thinks about the nature of Slayers and Vampires. The opening quote is by Dracula, in the season 5 ep 'Buffy vs Dracula'.

Kindred
By Ezra
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"Your power is rooted in darkness. You must feel it...You're different. Kindred."
She thinks she knows me. Swanning about like she owns the place, telling me what to do and when to do it. Does she ever wonder about what I'm really thinking? About who I was before Drucilla turned him down some dark and filthy alley ten decades ago? What would Buffy have thought of him then, of William?

I take another drag on my cigarette. It's funny, cos I can't actually taste the damn things. But whenever I get nervous or bored I reach for them. Gives my hands something to do, since they can't be grabbing the Slayer and tearing her limb from bloody soddin' limb. Or maybe just her clothes...

That's something else that's been keeping my hands occupied lately, alone in my shadowed crypt and feverish with desire for her.

I know what she would have thought of William. Same thing she thinks of me now: loser. She doesn't want to think of me as anything other than stupid demonic Spike: soulless, harmless lowlife who'd kill her in a heartbeat if he had the chance. She's wrong though - that's not the first thing I'd do to her.

I wasn't some bleedin' street urchin just out for what I could get, you know. I was educated, in the arts and sciences. I moved in the high class social circles - even though they all thought I was a complete tosser, my breeding guaranteed me entry. I was sensitive back then, poetry and all that. Like I said, bit of a tosser. But I know things she will never understand, I've seen things she will never imagine, and I've felt things she could never feel. And she thinks she knows me.

And she hangs on to that notion of me because it keeps her safe. It keeps me at arm's length, which she needs, because though she always says she doesn't trust me, deep down it's herself that she doesn't trust. It wasn't just his soul that drew her to Angel, and it's not just Angel that draws her to me.

We may have been born to fight each other, to hunt one another in an endless dance of Slayer and Vampire, but we're of the same blood. We're born of the same drkness, the mystical forces that imbue us with savagery and blood lust, the need for the fight. I know she feels it. It's inescapable, like death, like love.

We were born to kill, and we were born to dance.

She thinks she knows.

end

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