"Angel?" Buffy repeated, her voice trembling. "Angel, don't you know me?"

After a long moment, Angel whispered, "Buffy? I -- It can't really be you --"

"It is, Angel it's me," she said. "Oh, God, how did you get here?"

The Council was total bedlam now; people were shouting, pointing, carrying on. The old man in the chair was holding up his hand, as though to call them to silence, but was being ignored.

Buffy heard one woman near them whisper, "You don't mean that's HER? That they brought back the one who --"

"Silence!" the old man finally cried, and the room hushed at his words. Buffy glanced back quickly; the other four Slayers had run in behind her and were staring up at her in undisguised shock. Frances' jaw had actually dropped.

Angel looked at her searchingly for a long moment, then shook his head as if to clear it. "Markwith, what have you done?" he called past her.

"Even now, you distrust me," Markwith said. "Even now, when I have given you the greatest gift I could ever offer. Is there no end to your paranoia?"

"You knew," Buffy said. Though she spoke in a low voice, her words carried throughout the amphitheater. "You knew about me and Angel all along, and you didn't tell me he was here. Why didn't you tell me?"

"You're together again," Markwith said. "And that's all that matters --"

"No, it's not," Buffy said. Her fists clenched at her sides. "That's the only reason I'm here, isn't it?"

Markwith hesitated, and Buffy felt her stomach twist. "That's it. You didn't pick me because I was good or smart or fast or anything. You just picked me because of Angel." She looked back at Angel and saw the drawn, tense expression on his face. She looked back at Markwith, and her eyes narrowed. "And not for a gift. I'm not a gift, dammit --"

"Buffy, that's enough!" Frances said. She looked as though she might shatter into pieces at one more shock, but she kept talking. "You owe Aaron Markwith your life."

"Yeah, he did me a big favor," Buffy said sarcastically.

"Angel, is this her?" the old man said. "This is the Slayer written of in your history?"

Angel slowly nodded. "If this is really her, really Buffy -- yes, Ishak, it is."

Buffy whirled back toward him. "What do you mean, really Buffy?" she shot back. "Of course it's really me! Angel, why don't you believe me? I mean, I believe you, and how do I know it's really you? You're the one with the funky weird new army hair and the Obi-Wan Kenobi getup."

"I think it's her," Angel said.

"And these are our other Slayers?" the old man said.

"Yes, Ishak," Markwith said, visibly relieved. "Our other warriors."

"We're not all completely mad," Agatha said helpfully.

Sky sank down into her seat, looking as though she wanted to disappear.

Everyone else was paying attention to the other Slayers now as Markwith introduced them, or was pretending to, anyway. Buffy searched Angel's face. He'd never been easy to read, but now his expression was unfathomable. He considered her in perfect silence, his face grave. At last, she whispered, "Angel, it's really me."

"I know that now," he replied in the same low voice.

"Then how can you just stand there? How can you not care --"

"I do care, Buffy," Angel said. "I'm sorry. It's been a long time, and this -- this is going to take some getting used to --"

"But God, Angel, I've been so -- so scared, and I never thought I'd see anyone I loved ever again, and here you are, and you won't even --"

"Buffy, listen to me," Angel said, his voice even quieter and more urgent. "There's a lot more going on here. You understood that right away. We have to be very careful right now. Both of us."

Buffy took a deep breath. "So we're playing it cool?"

"As soon as this is over, we'll talk," Angel said. After a pause, he hesitantly put one hand on her shoulder. "I promise."

The pressure of his hand was less comforting than she would have thought. Buffy nodded and turned away from him, back toward her fellow Slayers. But she remained at his side.

Markwith was going on about Xiaoting's accomplishments -- something about Velga demons and rings of fire -- and Xiaoting had her head held high. Agatha and Noor were both facing Ishak, Agatha standing almost at attention, Noor with her arms folded across her chest. But Sumiko was staring over at Buffy -- no, Buffy realized, at Angel. Her expression was shifting from confusion to something darker. Something dangerous.

Sumiko leapt forward, landing on the wooden rail of the Chamber's center circle. Her hand smashed down, shattering the rail, then came back up holding a makeshift stake. "No, don't!" Buffy cried, throwing her arms out to shield Angel.

Xiaoting ran forward and grabbed Sumiko's other arm. "Sumiko, no," she said. "It's all right."

Buffy said, "This is Angel. He's not like other vampires. He wouldn't hurt anyone." She knew Sumiko wouldn't understand the words, but hopefully she'd get something from the tone of her voice, the expression on her face. "He's safe. That's why he's here. Everyone knows that." She paused, then quickly looked back over her shoulder at Angel. "Everyone does know you're a vampire, right?"

"That's right, Sumiko," Markwith said, his voice resonating within the halls. "We have all read of Angel's goodness. We all feel perfectly safe having him within this Council. Don't we?"

"Angel's not the one you should be worried about," Buffy said.

"Buffy, no," Angel muttered. "Not here and not now."

Sumiko slowly climbed down from the railing and backed into her old place in the center of the circle. She never took her eyes off Angel.

Ishak held up his hand once more. "We will present the Slayers at the public meeting two nights from now. I do not approve of your methods, Markwith, but perhaps good will come of it."

Markwith straightened up, but the gleam went out of his eyes as Ishak continued, "Be warned, Markwith. We maintain an order within this Council for a reason. Do not step beyond it again."

Ishak lowered his hand, and his chair sank slowly until it was level with the ground. Angel moved toward him. "Where are you going?" Buffy said.

"I work with Ishak," Angel said. "Normally I'd go with him to discuss what's happened." Buffy bit her lip, and Angel quickly added, "But now I'm just going to tell him that I need to talk with you for a while. Wait here, okay?"

"Okay," Buffy said. She sank down into the nearby seat and looked around at the room. The crowds of Watchers around them were getting to their feet, heading toward the door, whispering, pointing, and glancing at all the new Slayers -- but particularly at her. She heard one elderly woman remark, "Well, that was less boring than usual."

Buffy would've liked to smile, but she realized suddenly how exhausted she was, how shaky. She felt this way after slaying, sometimes; adrenalin and emotion she'd needed a few moments before were wearing out their welcome, taking their toll.

Sky was brushing off people trying to talk to her and hurrying out the door. The other four Slayers were being gathered together by Markwith, though they seemed more guarded toward him than usual; Noor did not even pretend to disguise her hostility. Sumiko followed him obediently, but she kept looking over her shoulder at Angel. Her body was tense, still poised to strike.

Angel moved quickly to Ishak's side and spoke to him for a few moments. Despite the throngs of people, and the fact that many of them seemed to want to talk to Ishak immediately, none of them came very close to Angel. Buffy realized no one so much as brushed a sleeve against him, and very few even looked directly at him. He seemed far away from all of them, from everything. From her.

She dropped her head into her hands. By the time the hall had gone quiet, tears were in Buffy's eyes again. She heard Angel come back up the steps toward her and looked up to see him standing near her, seemingly impassive. "We're alone now," Buffy said. "No reason to hold off on that warm welcome."

"Buffy, please," Angel said, and his voice was little gentler -- a little more the way she remembered it. "I know this must be incredibly difficult for you. But this is hard for me to believe, even now."

"I know," she said. "I don't know what I'm doing here. I know I don't belong in this time. Everything's all wrong, and when I saw you, I had this moment when I thought you were going to make everything better. But instead you're all --" Buffy looked up at his face, and a little of the anger went out of her, replaced by fear. "Angel, do you even remember me? I mean, really remember?"

"It's been 350 years," Angel said slowly. "I never forgot you, Buffy. But sometimes you seemed so -- unreal -- to me. Like I dreamed you up. This golden girl who loved me and saved me and told me to carry on the fight. It sounds like a dream, doesn't it?"

"So I'm just this foggy vision from the past. Not even a real person to you any more."

"That's not true," Angel said as he sank into the seat next to her. "There are days you never forget, moments you remember. Even after three centuries."

That sounded a little more like the Angel she knew, and she looked up at him hopefully. But he was still remote -- in spirit, if not in body. His shoulders were hunched forward protectively, and he was half-turned from her. She hugged herself at the waist. "So why aren't you glad to see me?"

Angel was quiet for a moment, considering his answer. Buffy looked at him for a long time; the face was the same, of course, but for some reason he appeared different. Maybe it was the super-short hair, she thought. It managed to make him look both more severe and more vulnerable.

At last he said, "Buffy, when you came through that door and I saw you again --" He sighed and looked away. "I have to remember why you're here, and so do you."

"Markwith," Buffy said.

"He hates me, hates that I have rank here. He doesn't understand why the Council suffers a vampire in their midst, and he's not alone. A lot of people out there distrust the Council because I'm a part of it. Markwith brought you here to knock me off balance. People have done that to me before, and the results have been pretty terrible."

Buffy froze. "People have brought me back from the dead before?"

"No. That's not what I meant," Angel looked back at her. "We're not going to play Markwith's game, Buffy."

"So, that's it?" Buffy said, her voice trembling slightly. "Gee, nice to see you again, you're looking terrific, let's keep in touch? Or do we just pretend we never met at all?" Tears were welling in her eyes again, and she tried to blink them back, but it was no use. All her old despair was flooding back into her now, her heart lacerated by the excision of her brief hope.

"Everybody I know is gone, except for you, but I can't be with you, because this guy Markwith, who dragged me out of my grave, is trying to use me to mess you up. So I just go out in that war zone and fight the uglies until they kill me again. And they're gonna get me quick, Angel, because I don't even know how to fight anymore." She gave him a grief-twisted smile. "Do you think you'll forget me faster this time?"

Angel leaned forward. "Buffy, listen to me. I never forgot you. Never. But this isn't how I remembered you. I know that I never saw you like this before."

"Like what?"

"Defeated."

The word hit her like a physical slap. Buffy choked back her last sob. Angel continued: "Nothing ever beat you, Buffy. No matter how much you lost, or how much you were hurting, or how hard it was gonna be to keep going, you did it."

"Not at the end. You didn't see me at the end. That was different," she whispered.

"I know," Angel said. "But you're the same."

Buffy sucked in a quick breath and straightened her back. The flush of warmth she felt right now was only borrowed courage; she knew that much from experience. She also knew that sometimes that was enough to get through to tomorrow. But tomorrow -- "Can't we see each other at all?"

"I'm not going to let Markwith control me," Angel said. "That means we take responsibility for controlling ourselves. We'll -- talk. We'll work something out. Find our way."

"Yeah?" Buffy said, and when Angel nodded, she felt her first faint smile in what felt like eternity spread across her face. "That'd be good."

"I should go talk to Ishak," Angel said as he got to his feet. "And I imagine the others are waiting on you. Where on earth did Markwith have you guys stashed?"

Buffy stood up and began following him down the steps of the empty Chamber. "Some abandoned skyscraper. Many scary blocks from here."

"They'll move you into the Keep first thing tomorrow, assuming they don't move you tonight," Angel said. "Tomorrow night, come to my rooms. We'll have had some time to recover."

Angel looked so cool and unruffled that it was hard to imagine he had to recover from anything. But Buffy didn't feel like pressing the point. "You live here too?"

"Everyone on the Council lives here. It's probably the only truly safe place in London. Maybe anywhere."

"Lucky us," Buffy said, and the absurdity of the comment hit her all at once. She began laughing, a weak, punchy laugh that usually signaled the end of her rope.

Angel gave her the shadow of a smile. "Fortune favors the brave."

They went through the large wooden doors; Markwith and Frances stood there. Buffy could almost feel the chill of the glare that passed between Markwith and Angel. "The others are waiting, Buffy," Frances said hurriedly. "Come along."

"I got one more thing left to do," Buffy said. "This thing where I bitch-slap Aaron Markwith to a bloody pulp."

"So refreshingly direct," Markwith said, with what sounded like genuine good humor. "We'll talk about this later, Buffy."

"Give me one good reason I should go with you."

"Buffy," Angel said, his voice a warning. Buffy looked back at him, nodded quickly and started moving down the hall. Markwith and Frances needed a few steps to catch up with her.

"Angel is trying to tell you to pick your battles wisely, Buffy," Markwith said as they moved away. "He's right about that much. But I hope you'll be wiser at picking your enemies than he is."

"Angel's enemies are my enemies," Buffy said. "So I guess they're all picked out for me."

They got into the elevator and began their descent to the lower levels and the armored transport. "You are loyal," Markwith said. "And loving, I think. Your dedication to Angel speaks well of your heart, at least."

"So what does the fact that you hate him say about you?" Buffy shot back.

"A great many things," Markwith said. "And I think they speak well of me."

The elevator doors swooshed open to reveal the transport, four obviously horrified Watchers and four Slayers who were staring at Buffy and Markwith with mixed levels of suspicion and curiosity. Buffy took the opportunity to put some physical distance between her and Markwith; she was dangerously close to losing her temper. "Angel is not like other vampires. Don't you know that by now? Ishak trusts him. Why can't you?"

"Ishak is a sentimental old man who --" Markwith caught himself. "Buffy, be honest with me. Be honest with yourself. Was Angel always as trustworthy as you say? Was he always stable? Did he never once, in all the time you knew him, become a danger to you? To those around you?"

"If you have my records," Buffy said slowly, "then you know the answer. But that doesn't mean --"

"That it will happen again? I sincerely hope it doesn't. But I'm not content to hope. I act." Markwith got into the vehicle, forcing Buffy to get in as well in order to continue the discussion. After a moment's pause, the others followed suit but remained silent. "Angel's convinced that everyone who doesn't accept him wholeheartedly has a stake behind his back, waiting to strike. It would never occur to him that my intentions might be genuine."

"Genuine?" Buffy asked incredulously.

"As the story goes, you were the reason Angel joined our fight in the first place. His inspiration, perhaps you'd say. But he's been odd of late. Quiet, secretive, hostile -- I mean, more so than usual. His behavior has drawn attention. I'm far from the only one who thought he might have the potential to become a danger again. This project was in the planning stages, and I thought, why not bring you back to him? If there were anyone capable of stabilizing him, it would be you."

Buffy looked sideways at Markwith as the armored vehicle rumbled into motion. The explanation made sense. It was even flattering, in a way. But it didn't quite add up. "So why didn't you tell me?"

"Didn't want to get your hopes up," Markwith said easily. "After all, it's been three and a half centuries, hasn't it? I wasn't sure he'd welcome you back with open arms. Glad I was wrong on that score."

Buffy said nothing else on their way home.

**

Everyone was silent until the moment the last Watcher left the Slayers' communal room. The moment the doors slid shut --

"A vampire? You were in love with a vampire? How is this possible?"

"How terribly shocking! I mean, for you too, dear --"

"I can't believe you're the girl from Angel's past!"

Xiaoting said this last, and Buffy turned to face her. "What? You knew about us?"

"Well, I knew about Angel," Xiaoting said. "A vampire on the Council? That's a topic of conversation that never ends, I'm sure. I even met him once, when my Watcher brought me to London for a visit. It seemed so scandalously thrilling."

"My Watcher did not mention this," Noor said.

"Nor mine," Agatha said. Sumiko was ignoring them all and getting into her sleep clothes.

"He wasn't on our side of the fight in your time, Agatha," Buffy said. "For that matter, he wasn't a member of the Council of Watchers fan club in my time, either."

"But he joined up because of you," Xiaoting said. "It's such a great story. And I just can't believe you're the beautiful girl they always talked about!"

"I'm gonna assume that came out wrong," Buffy said. "What did you hear? Tell me."

Xiaoting bounced onto her bed and hugged the pillow tight; Noor and Agatha drew conspiratorally close to hear her. Buffy flopped across the foot of the bed and thought, this is like a sorority house on Bizarro World.

"Well, so the story went, Angel was cursed with a soul centuries ago."

"True so far," Buffy said.

"He has his soul, then?" Noor asked. When Buffy nodded, Noor visibly relaxed. Agatha had been smiling at Buffy before, but now the smile became more genuine. Noor said, "This is still very strange."

"I used to think that too," Buffy said. "Then I realized that everything about love is so strange, you really can't get hung up on the details." Noor and Agatha simultaneously sighed in resignation. Xiaoting rolled her eyes.

"Can I continue this story? Very well, then. At some point, Angel meets a Slayer." Xiaoting held her hands out toward Buffy as though presenting her to the audience after a play. "Despite the fact that he is a vampire and she is a Slayer, they fall madly in love. He swears to fight by her side. After her tragic death, he vows that he will carry on the work they began together. When her Watcher took over the Council --"

"Giles became head of the Council?" Buffy said in disbelief.

"I suppose so," Xiaoting said. "Anyway, Angel began helping the Watchers then. Over time, they grew to accept a vampire among their number."

"Markwith has not," Noor pointed out.

"Markwith's trying to help," Xiaoting said. "How bad can he be? He's brought you two together again, hasn't he?"

"Guess so," Buffy said. She still wasn't sure what to think of Markwith's explanation -- or his words of warning about Angel.

"If he's your beau, Buffy, then I trust your judgment," Agatha said. "But -- really -- a vampire?"

Buffy glared at Agatha, but her usually sharp tongue failed her, and she just flushed a deep red.

"Oh, no, no, please don't take offense!" Agatha pleaded. "I simply meant that it would be strange. And somewhat sad, I should think. To know that you could never marry."

"Marriage," Buffy said. "I didn't think ahead that far. Didn't seem to be much point."

"How could you not?" Agatha said, a blush pinking her pale cheeks. "I -- I don't wish to be immodest, but when I met Ronald -- well, I spent quite a bit of time thinking about being married."

Xiaoting raised an eyebrow. "You don't have to wait until you're married, you know." Agatha went scarlet.

"End of discussion," Buffy said. This particular conversation was headed back into a painful area. "We have to move tomorrow. We should get to bed."

"Yes, we have so much packing to do," Xiaoting said with a sarcastic laugh, but she good-naturedly started stripping her garments away. "And I imagine you're in a hurry to be alone with your thoughts."

"I am in a hurry not to share my room with four other people," Noor said.

"How very surprising," Agatha said dryly as she went into the bathroom with her sleep clothes.

Buffy glanced over at Sumiko; she was already under the covers, her eyes shut too tightly.

Sumiko sees a dangerous situation. The others see a big love story, Buffy thought. Markwith sees an opportunity -- for good or for bad, I don't know. Angel sees some ghost from the back of beyond.

What do I see?

*

continue