disclaimer in
part 1
It's a question of trust
Three Doors
Part Ten
Giles opened the door to his apartment; Buffy's short call from Willy's,
with the news that Faith was dead, weighed heavy behind his eyes. He reached
out a hand toward his Slayer, but she brushed past it; and he withdrew the
appendage with a worried frown. He exchanged a look with Angel, seeing some
of what he felt reflected in the other man's eyes. Buffy entered Giles' living
room, and Willow looked up from her laptop computer silently, her eyes slightly
red. Even the usually boisterous Xander looked subdued, studying his hands
where they lay in his lap. Buffy flinched slightly, but her steps did not
falter. She stood next to the couch where Willow sat, and the other girl
looked at her, stricken.
"Will?" Buffy started.
"I- I didn't like her," Willow said. "But I didn't want her dead. I-" The
hacker's voice cracked, and she broke off, blinking.
"None of us wanted this," Buffy said. Angel moved closer to the Slayer, touching
her shoulder hesitantly. She took a step away from his hand, and he tilted
his head, hiding the pain that flickered in his eyes. "But the important
thing now is that I have to stop him before it happens again."
"Don't you mean we?" Xander asked, as Angel sank down on the couch next to
Willow. "We have to stop him?"
"I take it he was not at the address Willy gave you?" Giles said cautiously.
Buffy shook her head.
"He must have taken them out through the sewers. But no clues. I have no
idea where." She turned to Xander. "And of course I want your help, but more
than that I want you all alive. There's nothing more you can do today and
nightfall is coming soon." She looked at Willow, then at Xander. "I want
you to go home. Go to school tomorrow. Try to keep from ruining your lives."
"Buffy-" Willow started to protest.
"Don't invite anyone in tonight," Buffy interrupted. "We can't know for sure,
but we have to assume Faith told him about the fact that there's a human
version of him walking around. Even if she didn't, he'll find out sooner
or later. He'll use it against us if he can. Be sure it's our Angel before
you do or say anything." Angel nodded agreement.
"What about-" Xander started.
"And I mean don't invite _anyone_. Not just Angel, anyone. He's got minions
now."
"Buffy," Xander said. "We're here to help. You can't just shove us around
and ignore what we want." Buffy sighed, her face suddenly old, tired.
"I'm not," she said. "I just have to get through this. I have to make sure
we all get through this."
"It wasn't your fault," Xander said. "It's a horrible thing, and I don't
think any of us are really dealing yet. But you can't blame yourself." Buffy
snorted, and shook her head, closing her eyes against the tears that prickled
in her eyes.
"Xander is right," Giles said. "Faith's death is a tragedy. But she was a
Slayer, more than anyone else she was herself aware the risks."
"So because she was forced by her destiny to fight the monsters, it's not
that bad when the monsters kill her?" Buffy snapped. "What he did to her,
no one should have to go through that."
"Do you-" Willow hesitated. "Do you want to talk about it?"
"No," Buffy said shortly. "It's beside the point. We'll deal with it later."
"What about the body?" Angel said quietly, his eyes on the ground. "What
if someone finds it? They'll think you killed her."
"Because of the stake," Buffy finished. Willow, Xander and Giles exchanged
a look of sudden understanding. "You're right. It'd take too long for us
to bury her in the graveyard. We can't spend the whole night digging a grave
with Angelus roaming around."
"We could put her in one of the tombs in a mausoleum," Xander suggested.
Buffy's eyes flickered, her hands clenching by her side. She quickly crossed
her arms over her chest.
"No. We can't just stuff her in with another body," Buffy said.
"Cremation," Giles stated. Buffy twitched, then forced herself to nod.
"Fine. Angel and I can take her to the funeral home tonight. His car's at
the mansion, and I know where the cremation thing is since I used it on my
so-called date with Owen." Xander nodded, the ghost of a smile touching his
lips. "I don't want to talk about this anymore."
"We all need a little time," Giles agreed. "But we can't pretend this didn't
happen. Whatever problems she was dealing with, Faith deserves more." Buffy
nodded silently, bowing her head.
"I know." She looked up. "Now, please go home. There's only a little daylight
left." Willow sat still a moment, looking at the hard mask Buffy wore. She
glanced at Xander who was staring at Angel, his brow furrowed. Then she picked
up her backpack and put her laptop in it.
"I'll check the net to see if I can get any hints on where Angel might take
the others. Abandoned buildings and that kind of thing." Buffy smiled through
tight lips.
"Thanks, Will." She stood up as Willow rose to her feet. "I want to walk
you home. It's close to sunset, and I don't want to take any chances."
"I'm staying here," Xander said.
"Xander," Buffy started. "You've been-"
"No," he said, raising his hand. "I told you before. You can't tell me what
to do. My parents aren't going to miss me, and if I want to go to school
I can just as easily go from here." His glance drifted back to Angel. The
other man sat on the couch, his back stiff, his heavy head propped in his
hands. "I'm staying."
"Okay," Buffy said with a sigh. "I'll be back in a few minutes." Angel roused
himself as the others began to move, and stood up with a grunt of pain to
walk with Buffy to the door. "Someone should make sure Wesley is heading
home."
"I'll do that," Giles said.
"I'll come along," Angel said.
"No, you won't," Buffy answered. Angel stared at her silently, then bowed
his head. "Just rest," she said more gently. "Please." He nodded his head
and held the door open as the two girls walked outside.
"Be careful," he called before closing the door. He turned around, and saw
Xander quickly shift his gaze to the floor. He shook his head slightly, then
returned to the couch, sagging into the cushions. He watched as Giles entered
the kitchen and called the library's phone number. When he turned his head
away from the Watcher he caught Xander staring a second time.
"What?" he asked, exasperation creeping into his tired voice.
"What what?" Xander said quickly. "There's no what."
"Xander," Angel warned.
"What?" the boy answered.
"Just stop staring," Angel sighed, and closed his eyes. Xander looked over
at Giles, then back at Angel.
"I guess it's just that I've never seen you really hurt before." Angel opened
his eyes, and studied Xander, his forehead wrinkling as he considered whether
to ignore the comment or take it seriously. Xander's solemn face convinced
him to answer sincerely.
"You saw me after Spike did that ritual. I couldn't even walk." Xander nodded,
his eyes narrowed as he remembered Buffy and Kendra pulling Angel through
a wall of fire.
"True," he said. "But even though you were hurt, you seemed like you were
in less pain. And you healed so fast. The next time I saw you, you were pretty
much fine. Now. I don't know. It's not just that you're hurt. You look ragged.
Tired." He shrugged his shoulders.
"Thanks," Angel said wryly.
"For once I didn't actually mean to insult you," Xander said. He hesitated,
not liking the feeling of opening himself up to the person beside him, a
person he'd distrusted, even hated. But when he looked at Angel he saw only
an exhausted man, a worried man, a man he could almost relate to. "It's..."
Xander said. "I never thought of you as human before. And now it's like you're
more human than--" he broke off, ashamed and confused.
"Buffy," Angel whispered, and saw Xander nod tightly, then avert his eyes.
Xander hurried to cover the silence, sheering away from a topic too painful
to handle. "It's just weird, you know? It's throwing me a little."
"It's weird for me too," Angel agreed. "I'd forgotten how it feels
to be human. Everything seems brighter, and harsher. The pain is more real."
"Is it better being a vampire?" Xander asked. "To be stronger and the healing,
all that..."
"No," Angel said, with a smile. "I'll take the bruises and the mortality
any day." Xander shook his head, looking Angel full in the face.
"I don't get it," he said. "I mean if you're the same person, only without
the superpowers then what's so great about that."
"But I'm not," Angel said, and Xander saw wonder light his features. "I'm
not the same person. Before it was always a struggle, the soul and demon,
the vampire nature that ran in my blood. Now," Angel smiled, almost laughing.
"Now I'm free."
Xander shook his head again as Giles came toward them from the kitchen. "Hey
Giles, you want to get in on this? We're talking the nature of the beast
and stuff. It's right up your alley." Giles sat down, and Xander turned back
to Angel. "I still...It's too complicated for me. I can't separate you out
like that. I can't define what part of you is missing. I can't think of you
as parts."
"But Angelus is a separate part now," Angel said. "Literally."
"Yeah, but saying he's a separate part implies that even though he's separate
he's still part of you," Xander said. "Like you can take the twinkie filling
out of the twinkie, but it's still a part of the twinkie. Or is it?" Angel
chuckled despite himself.
"It's difficult to draw a line. The difference between human beings capable
of evil and demons isn't a clear one," Giles pointed out.
"True," Angel agreed. "But believe me. I can feel a difference. It's there,
even if it can't be defined." The three men sat thoughtfully for a moment.
"I guess I can see the difference," Xander said. "Not just the physical.
I mean, you're all silent and never say more than you have to, and then you're
sitting here getting into discussions. It's..."
"Disconcerting," Giles suggested.
"Yeah," Xander agreed, then hurried to continue. "Not that I don't like the
change. And I'm happy for you and all. But it's an adjustment."
"You have no idea," Angel said with a sigh.
"But you just got done saying how you wouldn't trade it," Xander said.
"I barely dared to dream of this I wanted it so badly," Angel said. "That
doesn't mean it's easy."
"If it were easy, it wouldn't be human," Xander said. "Or something like
that." Angel smiled, and Xander returned the smile. He looked away, suddenly
uncomfortable, uncertain of how he felt, how he should feel. He darted a
glance back at Angel looking for the person who'd killed Miss Calendar, a
thing like the one that had killed Jesse. He looked for evil, into the face
of a murderer. But all he was was a person, confused, fallible, human, a
person he could almost bring himself to trust.
* * * * * * * *
Mayor Richard Wilkins III glared disapprovingly at a speck of dirt on his
desk before scrubbing at the offensive spot with an immaculate white
handkerchief. He looked up from his desk to the three vampires standing in
his office. One of the vampires stood sandwiched between two of the mayor's
henchmen. He shifted uneasily under the mayor's gaze, absently touching the
bruise that lingered on his cheek from the brawl with Angelus. The Mayor
sat down in his large desk chair, and tilted his head slightly to the side.
"Now what is it you want, son?" he said. "Thomas, is it? You're showing
initiative coming to me. I like that. But my time is valuable," he giggled,
"although I do seem to have an unlimited amount of it."
"It's about Faith," Thomas answered. The mayor went very still, and the vampire
fidgeted under his gaze. Swallowing, he continued, "I think she's dead."
He flinched when the mayor's gaze skewered him, then rushed to finish. "Angel
came and took over our nest. The bastard was bragging about it to us."
"Did you see a body?" the mayor asked. "Any proof?"
"No," the vampire said. "But he seemed really sure of himself."
"That means nothing," the mayor said standing, and leaning with his fists
against his desk. "Faith is a good girl. She can handle herself in a fight."
"I-I know," the vampire stuttered. "I thought-"
"Do you know where Angel is now?" the mayor interrupted.
"No," Thomas admitted. "I escaped while he was taking us from our old hideout."
"Then I don't suppose you have any more to tell us," the mayor said nodding.
One of the two vampires standing silently beside Thomas grabbed the smaller
vampire. "Don't do it here," the mayor said. "Dust you know." The vampire
nodded, dragging a struggling Thomas outside, deaf to his pleas and threats.
The Mayor turned to the other vampire, who stood at attention.
"You find out whether this is true," he said, his face hot, his eyes feverishly
bright. "You find her. You find my Faith, you find her and bring her back
here or you'll all die." The vampire inclined his head and backed out of
the room cautiously, afraid to take his eyes off his employer, though he
desperately wanted to look away. He exhaled a sigh of relief as the door
closed behind him, and hurried to escape the sounds of things shattering
against the wall of the office.
* * * * * * *
Angelus dropped the drained body of the well-dressed young woman who'd been
stupid enough to invite him into her home. Janet and a blond vampire named
Steven looked up from the woman's husband, their lips red with blood. A third
and fourth vampire came down the stairs carrying two small children's limp
bodies in their arms. They tossed the unconscious children onto the couch,
and Angelus smiled slowly.
"Tomorrow," he said, and when he laughed the children on the couch whimpered though they were lost in the depths of unconsciousness.
It's a question of not letting
What we've built up
Crumble to dust
It's all of these things and more
That keep us together
A Question of Lust
- Depeche Mode
by: Rebecca Carefoot