Disclaimer:Joss owns them, please don't sue me. I've qouted some stuff from Red Dwarf and an advert and South Park...
Author's note: No offence to jocks out there. Not all of you are jerks. I'm just stereotyping jocks to fit in with the story. And I don't know anything about sororities except that people in them get drunk andhave parties. I think.
Also Note: I was highly caffinated when I wrote this.Don't hate me :)
Summary: Riley's being an asshole. It's up to Angel to save the day.
Rating: R. Swearing and stuff. Okay, I'm done
P.S. Sorry about this fic. I just wanted to express how much I hate Riley.

*****

Black. Swirling around, all goey. Bitter, hateful with resentment.

"Angel, stop talking to the coffee." Cordelia complained, taking away his coffee cup

Angel was still in his trancelike state. "But Cordelia. The question is was I talking to the coffee or the black pit of dispair that lies deep within my soul and heart."

Cordelia blinked. "Whatever. God. Who died and made you Dawson Leery?" She snapped, irritably. When she didn't get an answere from him, she sighed and sat opposite him. "What are you brooding about now."

Angel reluctantly took a photo out of his coat pocket.  Cordelia peered over to see what it was and groaned when she saw blond hair and blue eyes before her. "Not again." She muttered. "Get over it already. I know you loved her but she's moved on." Her voice went gentle. "She's got a new boyfriend now. With an even crappier name."

Angel shook his head. "No. the purest of love rides on blackened wings. How could she love someone so easy to love? It just doesn't make any sense!"

"Your logic is not from Earth." Cordelia said. "Of course we love the people easiest to love. That's why it makes sense!"

Angel smirked. "Oh really? Let's see...you and Xander?" Cordelia huffed and put her hands on her hips.

"Plausable excuse for that. We were always put into sexy life and death situations. And I didn't love him.  I just kind of...he was there! He grew on me. Like...a zit. They grow on you-and then they dissapear. Well not on me cuz I'm too gorgeous to get zits."

"You and Wesley." Angel smiled.

"Lust. Pure and simple."

"Doyle?"

Cordelia paused. She slowly sank till her chin rested on the table. "You got me there." She admitted. "Doyle will always have a part of me." She suddenly gasped in pain.

"Cordelia!" Angel asked, concerned.

"Looks like I'll always have a part of Doyle."  Cordelia grumbled. Her eyes widened. "Oh no."

Angel looked her in the eye. "What?"

"Buffy."

* * * * *

WELCOME TO SUNNYDALE!

*CRASH*

Angel looked past at the sign he just ran over.

"Should I write them a note?" He asked himself.

* * * * *

Riley walked up to where Buffy and Willow were sitting. "Hey." He said, self assured.  Buffy looked at him.

"Oh. Yeah. Hey."

He bent to kiss her but she moved away. "No." Buffy told him gently. "That's...not what I want right now."

Riley frowned, glancing at Willow. "Well...when? Look, Frat party. Eight 0'Clock. I can get you out of any assignments you have. Be there." He brushed her shoulder. "Oh, there's Forrest. Later, babe." he walked away.

"Later babe?" Buffy muttered, incredulously. "When did he turn into such a jock."

"You say jock as if it means jerk." Willow told her.

"There's a differance?" Buffy asked, bemused.

Willow started to say something, then she shrugged.  "Okay. Maybe not." She looked at Buffy's expression."Uh oh. What's up."

Buffy shook her head. "Well...it's nothing really. I love Riley. Really I do. A lot. A whole lot!  Maybe. Kind of. Sort of. In a way--no." She sighed.  "No. Not one bit. I don't love him, I don't like him, he's a re-bounder. Not even that." She wrinkled her nose.

"What?" Willow asked.

"He's like the slime that first crawled out of the Ocean. He's ugh. He's like the space mutant I had sex with. And not even good sex. It was more 'oh. Is that all?' sex."

Willow drew back. "Okay, more information than I needed to know." She looked at her best friend sympathetically. "Maybe you're still hung up onAngel."

"I'm not!"

"Well, give Riley a go." Willow urged. "At the Frat party. Then you can hate him for the rest of your life."

Buffy nodded, reluctantly. "Okay, brainy smurf. But if you find a mutilated body belonging to Riley in the morning it's your own fault."

* * * * * *

"This party's going to rock!" Forrest said, enthusiastically. "The Beta Alphas are the kings of parties, dude!" Grayhem added (this auther has no idea whether Beta Alphas is the name of their sorority or whatever, or what it means. I think I picked it up from a book-I actually haven't got a clue what sororities do either, seeing as I'm from England which hasn't got sororities...so apologies if I f*** it up:)

"INITIATIVE FOREVER!" Riley screamed, as beer was poured over his head.

"Theme song!" Grayham shouted. They sang to the tuneof GLORY GLORY HALELULIA.

"We are homicidal chicken fucking maniacs! We're homicidal chicken fucking maniacs, we are homicidal chicken fucking maniacs, we piss ourselves when we see demons!"

The still singing Initiative people were unawhere of a shadow peering in through the windows."Buffy." A worried shadow murmered.

* * * * * *

"Buff!" Riley grinned stupidly, holding a bottle of beer in a hand. "You..." He slurred. "Are da best looking chicken I ever courted and screeeeeeeeeeewed." He stumbled.

Buffy shuddered. "Eew." She looked around her with disgust as she saw the mess surrounding her. Forrest was lying on the floor covered with his own puke in hysterics.

"I'm gonna kill Willow." Buffy murmured.

Riley grabbed her but. "Come on, doll, let's shag like shagging lions."  Beer came out of his mouth as he spoke.

"SAVE ME!" Buffy screamed out into the air, to no one in particular.

"I'll save you, my love."

Buffy turned as someone crashed through the window.

"Angel." She whispered.  

Angel walked up to her. "Buffy." He lowered his eyes.  "I left here because I wanted to convince myself I didn't love you but...I do. With all my soul. I want to be with you every minute of the day. I'd do whatever it takes, just..." He knelt down on one knee and produced a black velvet box from his coat. "Say you'll marry me."

Riley took his own ring out from his underpants. It was a small plastic toy ring. "Buffy! Wouldn't you rather marry me!" He cried, falling on top of Forrest.  Forrest looked up. "Willow?" He asked Riley. He kissed him, thinking he was Willow. "Ooh, you're quite nice...mm. Come and meet my lilo..."

Buffy was opened the box to see a sparkling dimond ring. "Oh." She breathed. "It's beautiful. But first, one thing you must do for me."

"Anything." Angel smiled, and his eyes shone with hope as he thought of a life with Buffy.

Buffy looked over to where Riley and Forrest were now getting off with each other. "Honey, I know you have a soul and all but--"

"It'll be a pleasure." Angel told her.

With a swift movement he snapped Forrest's neck in half like a prezzle.

Grayham gasped. "Oh my God, you killed Forrest."

Riley frowned. "You bastard."

Angel grabbed Riley's throat. "Die." He growled.  Riley slowly turned green as his air supply was cut off. Then Angel threw him onto the floor, stepped on his head, and looked as pink goo came out of his split skull.

Buffy looked at Angel addoringly. "He's dead!"

Angel nodded. "Should I feel guilt because he was human?" He asked, then he shrugged. "Nope." He took Buffy's hand. "I'll never leave you again. Never." He told her. "I swear it."

Everything was perfect. Like it should be. "Angel."  Buffy whispered. "We'll be together. Like we should've been from the start." She smiled, happily. "I love you."

Angel took Buffy in his arms. "I love you. I'll love you until forever."

"And ever and ever." Buffy sighed.

And the vampire carried the Slayer off into the dazzling starlight, never to be parted.  Cordelia threw up.

END

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
dierileydie

Send feedback
Back