RATING: PG-14
CONTENT: Buffy 'mating' with Angel (dancing), sex implied in the end, gore, language, general Riley bashing...
SPOILER WARNINGS: No real warnings, just mentions of Hostile 17 and junk that you should know if you're watching season four.
SUMMARY: Riley bores Buffy, Buffy calls Cordelia for help. Good 'ol Cordy puts Angel on the phone, and the good boy comes to help out his Slayer...B/A fluff warning...
DISCLAIMER: If I owned these characters, the world would be a better place.  But we can all hope that Joss looses the acid soon and gets our favorite couple back together. Besides, if you sued me, you'd probably get a bunch of crap that doesn't work very well, such as my damned CD copier, and my computer for one.

Buffy just couldn't sit through yet another one of Riley's oh so boring talks about his life in Iowa. Rapidly, her mind tried to figure out what she could do to get rid of him. He wasn't here yet, but she had to think of something. Picking up the phone her fingers rapidly dialed a number she rarely used but knew by heart. "Angel Investigations, how may I..." Cordelia's voice began.

"Help," Buffy eeped. "You're good at making annoying people go away, tell me what to do, please, I'll do anything."

"Yeah, I couldn't get Xander to leave you alone if you tried," the actress said. This got Angel's attention from across the room.

"Not Xander, this really annoyingly boring guy that I've been trying to date," Buffy said meekly. "Please Cordy! All he does is talk about life in Iowa!"

"Iowa? You're dating a corn boy?!" Cordelia exclaimed.

"It's Willow's fault," Buffy whined. "She said it would be better if I didn't wallow in heartache. God, I can't get him to leave me alone!" Cordelia started giggling.

"Who are you talking to Cordelia?" Angel's voice was clearly heard to Buffy.

"No, he can't know!" Buffy shrieked. Cordelia laughed harder, and Angel asked again.

"I'm talking to Slaygal," Cordelia squealed, laughing. She could hear Buffy cursing her from the phone, hell; Angel could hear it from across the room. The actress watched her boss take a much bigger interest into what she was saying. Cordelia covered the phone and looked at the brooding vampire. "She met someone worse than Xander, and she can't get him to go away."

"God, Anya has more of a personality than Captain Farmboy does," Buffy said. Cordelia was wiping tears from her eyes when Angel snatched the receiver from her.

"I don't know what you think Cordelia can do about it," he said with a half smile on his face. "She couldn't even get Xander Harris to go away."

"Help...please," the Slayer pleaded. "Like I said to Cordy, I'll do anything to get Fish Boy outta my life." Angel's smile grew, and he thought this the perfect opportunity to tell her that his curse was fixed, and he did. It had only happened yesterday, and telling the Slayer made it seem so much better than it was.

"I'll tell you what, beloved," he said with a grin. "I'll come visit for a few days. We'll go dancing...and I'll try to refrain from killing him."

"Thank you so much," Buffy said in a relieved voice.

A few hours later, she met her demon lover at the Bronze, making sure that all the Commandos were also in attendance. Actually, she showed up with Riley, sat at a table with him, listening to the boring stories and waited.  Forrest had been actively listening; these stories fascinated him and Graham. There were about twenty agents in the building, Buffy wanted to make this as public as she could, to keep Angel safe whenever he came to town. Finally, when she thought she was going to die of boredom, a familiar hand clamped down on her shoulder. Riley stopped talking to stare at the stranger who had his hands on his Buffy. "Would you like to dance?" he asked her.

"No, she's here with me," Riley said. Buffy rolled her eyes, and turned her head up so she could look at Angel.

"I was starting to think you'd abandoned me again," she said with a smile. She held out a hand and he took it, leading her past the gawking army brats to the dance floor. She rose on her toes, and kissed Angel prettily on the lips before whispering, "Let's cut a rug."

That song called "Shake Your Bon Bon," by Ricky Martin was playing, and Buffy started that dance that Angel had once called mating. They were both very aware that all the Commandos were gawking as they ground their hips together sensually. They danced for nearly an hour, until Buffy was giggling loudly. She hadn't been this happy in a long time. By about the time "Truly Madly Deeply," by Savage Garden began, Riley was livid, an emotion he wasn't very familiar with.

The next thing Buffy knew, a hand was gripping her arm tightly, beginning to pull her away from Angel. She could feel her lover's rage building. "Um, Riley, that's not a good thing to do," she said softly. He stopped and spun on her. "Why the hell not?" he demanded. She nodded to her dance partner.

"'Cause Angel'll kill you," she said seriously. "He's kind of possessive, if I remember correctly."

"I don't care! You're my..." Riley started to protest when Angel grabbed him by his shirt collar and lifted him off the ground.

"She's mine, boy, get gone," he growled. In shock, Riley released grip on Buffy's arm, and the Slayer wrapped an arm around one of Angel's leaning her head on it.

"Dearest, you promised you'd try not to kill anyone this time," Buffy said sweetly. Forrest chucked a stake at Angel, and all were amazed when he caught it two inches from his chest. "Oooh, big mistake," Buffy said in an amused tone. She went from amused to furious in five seconds, she charged Forrest, slamming him against a wall. "That was a huge mistake, friend, no one touches my Angel without paying for it."

"You know, after all, who was it you think that taught me to catch stakes?" Angel asked, coming up behind her, Riley still in his grip. "Come on beloved, let's take Fish Boy outside, I don't want to get blood over my club's newly waxed floor." Without a word, Buffy dropped Forrest on his ass, and followed the vampire out into the alley.

In the chilly night air, Riley Finn was afraid for his life. This guy was very scary, and he was wrinkling the shirt his mamma had stitches for him after he'd roped his first cow! The girls back in Iowa were never this disrespectful of the men. He was thrown into a brick wall. "I don't want to see you near my wife ever again," the dark man threatened. He turned and left with Buffy at his side.

Back at the Initiative base, a very bruised and shaken Riley was asking some of the captures about the Slayer. "What do you know about her?" he asked. "Why on earth should we tell you?" a nymph asked with a smirk.

"I want to know about any boyfriends she may have had," he replied.

"Ooh, you don't want to touch Angelus' woman, trust us," said a slug demon. "The Slayer with a functioning brain is bound to the scariest vampire on the face of the earth by her own choice. You mess with 'Angel's' girl, and you get to meet up with his fist, and possibly death. You shudda seen what he did to the last guy who hit on her."

"W-w-what's that?" Riley stammered.

"He ripped out the bloat's ribcage and tacked it up on the wall," the newly recaptured Hostile 17 said. He laughed even harder when Riley pissed his oh so manly pants at the thought. Spike knew that this prat had touched the Slayer, it was going to be fun watching him die. "If you let me out, I can tell you all of his weaknesses."

Riley went against all protocall, and unlocked the vampire's cage. He followed Hostile 17 out and to a mansion. He nearly shit his pants when he realized that Angelus was inside, and Buffy was sitting on his lap, kissing him passionately. Buffy turned at the sound of their entrance. "Spike! Did you bring my honey a present?" she asked happily. "He's been such a good boy after all."

"'ere you go Princess, exactly as I promised yer fer when I got out," Spike said with an over exagerrated bow. Angel stood, dropping Buffy, who landed on the floor with a squeak. Spike ran laughing as Angel attacked the annoying Farmer John. Buffy smiled when Angel sucked the idiot dry, and ripped out his ribcage.

When he realized what he'd done, he turned to his beloved with shame on his face, expecting to see hatred, disgust, and disappointment. What he saw was love, joy and relief. The Slayer wrapped her arms around Angel's neck and kissed his bloody lips. "Thank you so much!" she squealed. "It's perfect." She snap kicked Riley's head across the room, and the began to make love to Angel.

Fin


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