RATING PG 13
CONTENT its gratuitous riley bashing, may be considered tasteless
SPOILER WARNINGS none
SUMMARY You Know You Hate Riley When...
DISCLAIMER I don't own these characters. Joss Whedon, the WB and Fox do.
AUTHORS NOTES: some of the list has been "edited" and has been made a
little milder. Mostly I've taken out the #s that revolve around Marc Blucas
to
fit in the submission guidelines.
By G
List Number 1
1. You've never been to Iowa, but you're sure you hate it
2. Whenever you see a cow, you think of him, then swear silently
3. When your friend mentions that she/he likes cheese, you give him/her an evil glare
4. You have a newfound hate for anything military
5. You've mutilated your little brothers GI Joe dolls, all 50 of them
6. You skip all of the readings on Chapter Nine
7. You not-so-silently curse anyone that resembles him, even strangers on the street
8. You've banned peculiar from your vocabulary
9. You regard all teaching assistants with extreme additude, just because.
10. You've bought lilacs at the florists' and watched them die, slowly, surely...
11. When he comes on screen you cringe, then yell obscenities at the tv, positive he can hear you
12. Turn to WWF during Riley/Buffy kissage
13. You Read Top...17 lists like this one, and they amuse you to no end.
14. In a battle you cheer for the demon
15. You're convinced he's INBRED
16. You're in all the "Death To Riley" fanclubs
17. You start writing b/a fics and riley-bashing fics for theraputic reasons ( I Know I Have )
List Number 2
1.You'll castrate the bastard if he says, "Iowa, born and raised" ONE more
time.
2. When Riley enters a room, everywhere else gets just a little bit brighter.
3. You fantasize about putting a real chip in Rileys brain and controlling him. Your first task? Since he likes driving so much, you'd drive him off a cliff!
4. You wish HE was in the coma instead of Faith. Hell when you see him on screen, you yourself wish you were in a coma.
5. You think the Innitiative is stupid for not using those behavior modification drugs to give Riley an actual personality
6. You would kill to take that damn scarf and choke him with it.
7. You hope that Riley goes to L.A. and gets burned alive by Jhierra. Then, Jhierra dies from the disgustingness of touching Captian Farm Boy. Two Birds with one stone.
8. You have a picture of the Riley Finn in your room....that you use as a dart board.
9. The thought of Riley actually beating up anyone makes you collapse on the floor in a fit of giggles, and then makes you wanna kick his pansyass yourself.
10. You've named your dog "Riley" JUST so you can
constantly say, "Riley's a
bitch!" without getting crap from your parents.
List Number 3
1. You fantasize about tearing out his ribcage and
wearing it as a hat.
2. Youve learned to say, "Riley is a wussyman" in english, french, spanish, chinese, german, armenian, latin, pig latin, mandarin, korean...
3. Your parents/roomates have left anger management pamplets on the kitchen table, after hearing you scream bloody murder at the T.V. during the Riley/Buffy humping sequences (gag at the thought)
4. Your convinced his love for Maggie Walsh went above and beyond the student/mentor relationship
5. You scream like a teenybopper whenever he gets punched in the face by a demon, which is like, 20 times per episode.
6. You just know he fantisizes about having a secret orgy affair with the Backstreet Boys
7. You are considering tattooing "Death To Riley, Buffy and Angel forever" on your ass in the summer, then going to Joss' house and mooning him
8. You want Riley to get together with Tonya Harding so he can get his ass kicked a couple times over
9. You want to get your hands on his mutilated body
and put it in your dining room because you think it would make a wonderfully
horrible conversation piece
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
dierileydie
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