For three days, I've waited...here in this burned-out warehouse that nobody remembers but me. For three nights I've searched Sunnyhell, hoping to find...what?
Giles made it clear that night that my assistance was no longer wanted.
"We were betrayed," he insisted, deaf to my insistence that Drusilla's visions had probably been the reason for our downfall. I should have guessed that she'd anticipate our plans- that she'd know I was still alive. But Giles won't listen; he has no thought to spare for anything other than the Slayer.
Her house is empty; I know, I keep going back there again and again.
I know better than to approach Xander. Willow? Perhaps; but she'll do nothing without Giles' sanction. Cordelia? Too eager for the others to accept her...she won't risk aiding a vampire.
In the end I go to Oz. He's hesitant; but he knows more than anyone what such changes portend- and he's willing to give me the benefit of the doubt. He takes me to a small hotel on the outskirts of town.
At first she won't even answer the door. Finally- she does, and I push inside quickly.
"I didn't invite you," she protests.
"That doesn't apply to hotels," I tell her.
I've never seen her look so beaten. Not even when Angelus held the sword to her throat.
She can't even look at me.
"Buffy..." I take a step toward her.
"Don't!" It's almost a plea. "Just...don't...touch me."
"I wasn't going to." I hold my hands out, showing her that I'll keep my distance. "I've come to help you."
"Help me? You can't," she says bleakly.
Natural that she should feel that way. I still remember when I 'came over'- the unspeakable sense of violation.
"Listen to me...you need someone to talk you through it. I know how you feel..."
"Do you?" her voice is as cold as ice.
"Yes, I bloody well do! You think I didn't feel the same, when your precious Angelus made me...what I am? But...I got over it."
"Good for you."
She's behaving like a proper little bitch; but I keep my temper. "Listen, girl...you need me! I'm all you've got! I can help you figure out what to do."
"I already know what I'm going to do." Her voice is defiant; and suddenly, I know too.
Because I can see it on the floor- her Slayer's kit, with the weapons spilling out.
And I know that she's going after Nathaniel- and Drusilla.
"Alone?" I keep my voice under control. "You can't take them both."
"I can't endanger my friends," Buffy insists.
"But they're the ones who saved us," I point out.
She hesitates. "I'm a greater danger to them...than Nathaniel ever was."
There's nothing I can say- except the truth. "You're going to have to feed," I tell her. "Otherwise, you'll feel the bloodlust."
She begins to shake. "What if...what if I kill..."
"That won't happen!" I grab her shoulders- even though she flinches away. "I promise you this...I won't let you kill the people you love...no matter what."
She lifts her face to mine; and then the tears come- already tinged with blood.
I pick her up and sit down with her in my lap. She cries and cries; and it's all I can do not to kiss away the tears. Instead I just sit there, holding her and stroking her hair...and finally the sobbing stops. But- she still doesn't try to get up. And- I know what I must do.
Her friends arrive after that- and if they're surprised to see me they don't reveal it. Buffy gathers her things; she looks almost the same- except for one difference. She no longer wears a cross.
"I'm ready now."
"You're not," I say firmly. "Listen to me- if you don't feed, you'll be overtaken by the bloodlust. Then- there'll be trouble."
"I...can't."
"He's right, Buffy," Giles says gently. "Do as he says."
Xander steps forward, unbuttoning his shirt. "C'mon, Buff," he says, "you're not going to deny me my favorite fantasy, are you? I always wanted you to nibble on my neck."
This makes her laugh, shakily. And I look at him with new respect. Annoying as he is, the boy's got courage.
Buffy glances at me; and her face goes vamp. I walk over and put my arms around her.
"Go ahead," I instruct. Instinctively she arches her back and sinks her fangs into him. He sighs- and goes limp as she drinks.
There's no force on earth harder to stop than a feeding vampire.
It takes all my strength, and Giles'...but she stops, she leaves him alive and none the worse.
Willow is the next volunteer- and this time Buffy barely tastes her blood before she wills herself to stop.
Willow smiles at me, timidly. "Would...you like some, Spike? Buffy hardly drank any of my blood."
It's a handsome gift; so I have a bit...not enough for Willow to feel the loss, but enough to make me stronger.
Cordelia offers next- with clenched teeth and closed eyes, but she offers.
We've had enough though...it's time to go. We load the van and drive to the mausoleum....the way down....
"Seems like old times," Xander murmurs, hoisting the flame-thrower. Giles picks up the gasoline, Willow takes the crossbow, Cordelia clutches the holy water. We wend our way down...into the place where the Master once reigned....
Buffy's face is blank- does she recall the time she 'died'?
At first it seems no one is there...but then I see her, sitting on the Master's elevated throne. Drusilla.
"Hello, Spike," she purrs, "I knew you'd be coming...voices in my head told me my boy would be home tonight."
"Dru." My voice sounds weak in my own ears.
Nathaniel enters, and stands beside Drusilla...his game face is a fearsome sight.
"Spike," Dru coaxes, "won't you come back to me? I'm not angry anymore. And there's no place for you, with the humans. You know that."
Am I tempted? Perhaps, for an instant. For an instant I think of how I've spent the years, dancing attendance on my dark goddess- using every iota of my wit and will to carry out her every whim.
What a waste.
Magistrate's minions are pouring into the cavern...they are ravenous for us. We must be outnumbered six to one.
Then- from somewhere quite close...I hear the howl of a wolf.
No other sound invokes such terror. A few of the vampires exchange glances, shifting uneasily. Magistrate frowns at them...and they stand still.
He turns as Oz enters from the tunnel.
"So...you brought a werewolf along, have you?" he looks at Oz. "This is not your fight."
"Yes, it is," Oz says firmly. "And- just to make sure nobody leaves the party early... I brought along some of my family."
The pack explodes through the tunnels- howling savagely, scattering the assembled vampires like autumn leaves in a gust of wind.
Oz catches my eye, just before he changes. "What can I say?" he shrugs. "Lucky for me...I have a large and devoted family."
Then I have my own worries, as Buffy closes in on Magistrate.
"There's no need, child," Nathaniel says seductively, holding out his hand to her. "I am, after all, the one who made you. You are one with me."
She kicks him- hard- in the groin. "In your dreams...Jaws!"
Magistrate actually looks surprised- one second before he collapses in agony. Buffy's stake is in her hand...she's intent on Nathaniel, her back turned to Drusilla.
But Dru has a stake as well....concealed in the folds of her dress. She starts down the steps toward Buffy....
There's a whistling sound in the air, as Willow fires the crossbow. She misses the mark- it's imbedded in the Master's chair. Willow...shooting not at me, not at Dru- but where the wooden shaft is ready to my hand...a makeshift stake.
Buffy drives the stake into Magistrate's heart and rises to her feet. Drusilla draws back her arm to strike- and then the stake is in my hand and Dru is falling.
As she goes down she looks at me in disbelief...then...then there is only a pile of ashes on the floor.
And the pack is gone, chasing after the few remaining vamps...and Giles touches a match to the gasoline. The place goes up in an inferno...but I hold my ground.
"Better go, Buffy," I tell her. "Take the tunnel up to the mausoleum- the fire won't reach there."
She looks at me. "What about you?"
"I'm not going." I stare at the ashes. "Not much point."
She nods. "Goodbye, Spike."
I'm shocked; she isn't going to bother to talk me out of it? A flicker of anger touches me....
The smoke is thicker...she heads towards the steps leading up out of the lair...then ducks through the passageway, not even looking back. She's gone...and left me behind.
"That little bitch!" I exclaim. Fury fills me...I killed Drusilla, my love over a century, for that girl- and now...
"Bloody hell!" I kick over the Master's throne- already burning. I storm
towards the tunnel.
"When I get my hands on that girl, she'll wish she'd never been born! She
won't be..."
I nearly fall over her, huddled on the bottom step.
"Buffy! I thought...you'd gone after your friends."
"Not without you," she sobs.
I sit beside her; and lift her chin to gaze into her tear-filled eyes.
After a minute I ask her, "How did you know I'd come out?"
She dries her eyes and faces me squarely. " I didn't, " she confesses. "But...if you hadn't...I was planning to go back in."
I can't help it, I begin to laugh.
"What a girl you are! I wonder if I'll ever be able to predict what you're going to do?"
She looks at me; and slowly her mouth curves up into a smile.
"Well....look at it this way, William. You've got centuries...to try."
The End