Quotes

"The Ring"

Episode written by: Howard Gordon
Quote List compiled by: MBNielsen9

Cordelia: Demons, Demons, Demons. Wow. They put a lot of thought into *that* title.
Wesley: It's a demon database. What would you call it?
Cordelia: I don't know. How 'bout...Demon Database?
Wesley: Ah. A name rife with single entendre.

Cordelia: Why isn't Wolfram & Hart in here?
Wesley: Because they're lawyers, not demons?
Cordelia: Fine line, you ask me.

Cordelia: Someone oughta create a Intra-Demon Dating Base. You know, like ArchFiend.org -- Where the lonely and the slimy connect.

Cordelia: I was just joking Mr. Grouchy Pants. When was the last time you had a dating base?
Wesley: For your information, I live a rich and varied social life.
Cordelia: Oh, I know. Every night it's Jeopardy followed by Wheel of Fortune and a cup of hot cocoa. Look out girls, this one can't be tamed.
Wesley: I'll admit it may not be as intoxicating as a life erected on high-fashion pumps and a push-up bra.
Cordelia: Hey, if anyone is wearing a push-up bra around here it's...Angel!

Angel: Do you two need to see a counselor?
Cordelia: No, I'm way too single entendre to benefit from therapy.
Wesley: I don't know why you take everything so personally.
Cordelia: Me? Oh, this is rich coming from Mr. Don't Talk to Me Before I've Had my Flagon of Oatbran in the Morning.
Angel: Children, we have company.

Darin: My brother and I haven't exactly been close since we grew up. I made something of my life, and Jack...didn't.

Angel: Mind if I play, Ernie?
Ernie: It's invitation only.
Angel: Then invite me. It's a been a while since I've played, so I might be a little rusty on the rules. But I think my Jacks (tosses pictures of Jack on the table) beat your pair.

Ernie: Jack doesn't have any friends. Just people he doesn't owe.

Cordelia: Okay, I'm in. What did Darren write down about the demons that took his brother?
Wesley: Bald. Ultra-white skin. Slime.
Cordelia: There's always slime. This is why I don't gamble. You make a small wager one day and a bigger one the next, and before you know it... Beetlejuicey Albino comes a-knockin'!

Cordelia: Claws or hands?
Wesley: He wrote 'claw-like hands.'
Cordelia: Could be a mixed-breed. Smell?
Wesley: Sulfuric.
Cordelia: Add a Porsche and hair plugs, and I've dated this guy. A lot.

Cordelia: Okay, first I say yuck, and then I hit search.

Angel: You set me up.
Darin: It was a group effort.

Angel: I asked for a room with a view.

Angel: We'll have so much to talk about during the long winter nights.

Wesley: He's only been gone one night.
Cordelia: One long night in which he was supposed to check in with us and didn't. And...he's not someone who tans well.

Cordelia: You're going to the bookie?
Wesley: That's the last place we know Angel went. Cordelia: The bookie who may get his jollies cutting off people's extremities?
Wesley: That's why I'm taking this!
(pulls out crossbow...and a tangle of other things)
Along with a few other things.

Darin: Trepkos, you're the main event. You'll go against Malish.
Cribb: That's not a match-up; that's an execution.

(Demon throws himself across the red line and disintegrates)
Jack: Dammit. We paid good money for that one.

Darin: We'll have to find a replacement for his bout.
Jack: How 'bout Captain America, here?

Wesley: Where is he?
Ernie: Your boss? Gave me $200 to answer his questions. I'm a businessman. Make an offer.
Wesley: You should understand that the man I work for means a great deal to me, and I will not give you a single red cent. What I will do, sir, is beat it out of you, if I have to.
Ernie (laughing): You're from another country right? Wesley: (holds up crossbow)
Ernie: What are you, Robin Hood?

Cordelia: Sir, Madam. I'm Detective Andrews, this is Detective...Yelsu.

Wesley: Something's going down tonight! Something with The Man!

Cordelia: You almost blew it!
Wesley: I saved us.
Cordelia: Something's going down with The Man? You idiot.

Cribb: Idiot. Thinks he can get out of this by pulling a Ghandi.

Wesley: These Octavian matches date back to the Roman Empire I'd heard rumors of a revival.
Cordelia: Well, couldn't they have just done West Side Story?

Cribb: One lucky kill don't make you an expert.
Angel: That wasn't the first life I've taken -- or the twenty-first.

Cordelia: We've got to get Angel out of there.
Wesley: I know. But to do that, we have to get him out of those wrist cuffs. No mean feat, they were forged by ancient sorcerers.
Cordelia: So get an ancient key.

Wesley: I may be able to make one myself -- if I could get my hands on one of those cuffs, which isn't going to be easy...unless you happened to procure one while I wasn't looking.

Jack: Well, that was the most exciting match I've ever seen. My favorite part was when you stuck Baker with the knife. Kind of put a damper on the whole brotherhood spiel.

Angel: Someone needs to put you in your place. You...and your brother.
Jack: Someone may. Someday. But not you. And not today.
Angel: Why put off 'til tomorrow what you can do today?

Darin: Let him go.
Angel: Soon as you let us go.
Darin: Who do you think you are, Moses?

Angel: He's your brother.
Darin (shoots): Now he's my dead brother.

Lilah: How do you feel?
Angel: Like I was hit by lightning after the truck ran me over.

Angel: You're a fight fan. And a lawyer. Let me guess -- Wolfram & Hart.

Lilah: There's not one reason why we can't work together.
Angel: You're right...there are about a thousand.

Cordelia: You'd think people would get enough gratuitous violence watching Jerry Springer.
Wesley: Cordelia, do you mind? I'm trying to concentrate.
Cordelia: You've been concentrating all night.

Wesley: I need to see Angel. Tall fellow. Prominent brow.
Cribb: Yeah, he's dead.
Wesley: Dead?
Cribb: About 20 seconds, he will be. He's fighting Trepkos and who the hell are you?

Cribb: Gimme your wrist...loser.

Trepkos: It was a good fight.
Angel (nearly collapses): I coulda taken ya.

Cordelia: Angel, you don't look so...well it's a good thing you heal fast.
Angel: It's also a good thing you guys found me in time.
Cordelia: We weren't going to let anything happen to you. Well, I mean beyond the slavery and the severe beatings and stuff.

Cordelia: Wesley came up with the key!
Wesley: But Cordelia came up with the key to the key in a clinch moment.
Angel: You both did great. And I think we did a good thing here.
Wesley: Yes. We set the captives free.
Cordelia: Well, actually, didn't we set a bunch of demons free?
Wesley: Ah well, technically...yes.

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