Quotes

"Over the Rainbow"

Written by: Mere Smith
Quote List compiled by: AnGeL X

Cordelia: HELLLLLP! (covers mouth) Right. Good one, Cor. Scream very loudly so the hellbeasts come to you.

Cordelia: So... silver lining. Kind of a pretty place, when you look at it. Woodsy woods, sunny and mild. Giant, hairy hellbeast staring at me.

Cordelia: Good hellbeast. You're a lazy hellbeast, aren't you? Yeeesss. You're just gonna stay right there while I...Run for my life!

Wesley: But we're completely unprepared! We should go back to the hotel, do some research...
Angel: I don't wanna research, all right? I wanna jump through the big swirly hole thingy and save Cordelia.
Wesley: We might never be able to get back.
Angel: It's Cordy.

Angel: What, is it out of batteries. Is the thing out of batteries?

Demon man: You're a good boy, Seekul. A good boy. You found me a cow!
Cordelia: Hey! Who you callin' a cow, mister?

Angel: Start talking.
Host: About my demension. Sure, okay. Let's see... I was there, I came here, I like here, I don't want to go there.

Host: Gift horse. (makes hand gesture) Mouth.

Wesley: It's cold.
Angel: What? Put on a sweater.
Wesley: No, no, the hot spot is cold.

Wesley: The hot spot is cold. That's why you couldn't open the second portal.
Angel: Huh. I was right. It was the batteries.

Cordelia: Okay. First of all, I am a human being, not a cow, and you can't just barter a human being. Second of all, one pig? One measly pig? Third of all, there's been a huge misunderstanding here. I'm an American. I have rights. And right now I'd like to get right back to-- (Shock) Ow! Hey that hurt!

Cordelia: Wait a minute. If you think I'm just gonna follow you. Ow! You got another thing-- OW! Coming!

Aggie: So what brings you to the office?
Host: Like you don't already know.
Aggie: Oh, I know. I just wanna see what kinda spin you're gonna put on it.

Aggie: And the big flashing neon warning light in your aura means what?
Host: Eat at Joe's.

Aggie: I'm getting' all kindsa ugly conflict vibes comin' offa you, Lorne. And they're all pointin' at that portal.
Host: Are you sure you're not just seeing the chili I had for lunch yesterday? 'Cause whew, you wanna talk about conflict...
Aggie: And you're not going with them?
Host: Aggie, I'd rather have a hydrochloric acid facial. I'd rather invite a hive of wasps to nest in my throat. I'd rather sit through a junior high school production of "Cats." Do you see where I'm going with this?
Aggie: Not Pylea.
Host: Exactamundo.

Aggie: Sometimes the journey is taken simply because it must be taken. That vague enough for ya?
Host: Is that what I sound like? Eeesh. No wonder people complain.

Angel: What, we handcuff ourselves together? Who do we know that has handcuffs?
Wesley: Well, I... wouldn't know, but anyway, I don't think handcuffs will work.

Angel: Lawyers. Don't you people sleep' during the day?
Gavin: I'm Gavin Park, and this is my associate, Mr. Hayes. We represent Wolfram and--
Angel: Already bored.

Angel: You gotta be kidding. You couldn't get me to turn evil so now you wanna evict me? Well, apparently they've changed their tactics. Now they're tryin' to annoy me to death.

Angel: How soon can we get outta this world?

Fred: I forget, it's not important. But if you take the collar off bad things'll happen to your head, like it'll implode so don't take the collar off, okay? I can't talk to you if you don't have a head, okay?

Host: How you holdin' up?
Angel: I wanna go. Bad. Just waitin' for Wes to have that "eureka" moment.
Wesley: Eureka!
Angel: Oh, thank God.
Host: You mean he actually really says "eureka"?

Vakma: Stand up straight, cow! That milk's worth more than you are.
Cordelia: Oh nooooo...
Vakma: Bad cow! Bad!

Host: A back-up man! Terrific idea. Well, now that he's going, someone else will have to stay here, mind the store. Don't worry, I'm not disappointed. Just get me something...
Angel/Wesley/Gunn: Shut up.

Angel: The sun! Daylight! Quick, somebody hand me a blanket... hand me a blanket or I'll catch on fire! Why am I not on fire?

Host: Ah, yes. Home sweet hell.
Angel: And I'm not on fire.
Wesley: And we're all together, too. We didn't even merge into a freakish four-man Siamese twin!
Gunn: That was a risk? How come nobody told me that was a risk?
Angel: Can everybody just notice how much fire I'm not on?
Host: Yes, it's a beautiful day in the neighborhood, all right. Now may I suggest that we find some way to hide the car? It'll be a little conspicuous, seeing as how we don't have convertibles in this world. Or, you know, cars.

Cordelia: Test? But I haven't studied. Not much with the humor, are you guys?

Angel: I just don't think that's funny.
Wesley: What?
Angel: Wesley, I don't have the book.
Host: What?
Angel: You had the book.
Wesley: I don't have the book!

Host: You know, ordinarily I take bad news really well. I'd just drown my sorrows in an ice cold gin and tonic with a little squeeze of lime... except they don't have them here!

Host: Just remember, keep your heads down. Xenophobia kind of a watchword where I'm from.
Gunn: I don't get it. Why are they afraid of Xena? I think she's kinda fly.
Wesley: Xenophobia. Fear of foreigners.
Gunn: Oh. Then can we pretend I didn't just say that?

Host: I'll make the approach. You three stay here. We gotta keep a low profile.
Angel: Why?
Host: Because otherwise they might beat us to death with sticks. I'll be back.

Gunn: I'll take the twenty on the left. You take the fifty on the right.
Angel: Kay.

Gunn: I'm guessin' community service is out. (punch) Too bad. I really like those orange vests. (punch)

Angel: Sealed up tight. Gotta be six, seven inches thick, at least. You?
Wesley: No. These impenetrable stone walls are turning out to be rather--
Gunn: You say "impenetrable" and I will kick your ass.

Wesley: I used to be horrified by those stories about the Tower of London.
Angel: Wasn't that bad.

Wesley: Yes, well, compared to this place, I'm sure the Tower takes on a certain nostalgic glow. I wonder if they're treating the Host any better.
Gunn: Oh, sure. The way that constable said "interrogation", I figure he's just in for a little light wrist-slappin'. That, or he's dead.
Angel: Shut up.
Gunn: Hey, I'm not sayin' it's not wristslappin'...
Angel: No, shut up.

Host: Oh, am I glad to see you. And so much less dead than I expected.
Angel: What'd they do to you?
Host: Well, first there was the welcome home parade thrown in my honor--tickertape, streamers--honestly, I was so touched, I almost wept. Locked me in a room, pushed me around, asked a bunch of questions. Your standard film noir.

Constable: Krevlornswath of the Deathwok Clan, you and the cow trash are not to speak.
Host: Ah, debunch your panties, Narwek.

Constable: The Venerable Monarch of Pylea, General of the Ravenous Legion, Eater of Our Enemy's Flesh, Prelate of the Sacrificial Blood Rites, Sovereign Proconsul of Death, is prepared to pass sentence on upon you.

Cordelia: Hi guys.

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