Buffy: We missed the bed again.
Spike: Lucky for the bed.
Buffy: Is this a new rug.
Spike: Um, no. Just looks different when you're under it.

Buffy: You know, this place is okay for a hole in the ground. You fixed it up.
Spike: Well, I ate a decorator once. Maybe something stuck.
Buffy: I've been thinking about doing something to my room.
Spike: Yeah?
Buffy: Yeah, I think the New Kids on the Block posters are starting to date me.

Spike: Are we having a conversation?
Buffy: What? No. No. Maybe.

Spike: Well, isn't this usually the part where you kick me in the head and run out, virtue fluttering?
Buffy: That's the plan... as soon as my legs start working.

Spike: You were amazing.
Buffy: You got the job done yourself.
Spike: I was just trying to keep up. The things you do. The way you make it hurt in all the wrong places. I've never been with such an animal.
Buffy: I'm not an animal.
Spike: You wanna see the bite marks?

Spike: Do you trust me?
Buffy: Never.

Andrew: How can I trust you not to touch my stuff? Actually living with supervillains was not part of the deal.

Andrew: Couldn't we have at least gotten a lair with a view?

Warren: When you girls are done touching each other, the cerebral dampener's ready to be charged.

Andrew: Musk gland of a Hombja'moleev demon. Oh, ew! Fresh.

Jonathan: Okay... ow!

Buffy: Doublemeat is double sweet! Enjoy. Just somethin' I'm trying.

Tara: Sorry I'm late.
Buffy: Oh, time has no meaning here.

Tara: I have this sudden urge to dedicate my productive cooperation.
Buffy: Well, if you close your eyes and repeatedly smash yourself in the head with frozen meat until it goes away. Eventually. I'm hoping.

Jonathan: Mad Dog 2 to Mad Dog 1.
Andrew: I thought I was Mad Dog 2?
Jonathan: Mad Dog 3 to Mad Dog 1...

Andrew: We can really have anyone we want.
Jonathan: It's like candy.
Andrew: Juicy, pulsating candy.

Jonathan: Put the whammy on the neck!
Andrew: No, the redhead. I want the redhead.
Jonathan: The redhead's too tall.
Andrew: So get a stepladder.

Jonathan: Yeah, go for the one with the bazoombas.
Andrew: Go for the bazoombas.
Jonathan & Andrew: Bazoomba, bazoomba...

Katrina: Yeah, it's the seeing you part that's throwing me here, Warren, because I thought I was pretty clear with the never wanting that to happen again.
Warren: Never's a long time, baby.
Katrina: Apparently, not long enough.
Warren: Oh, you're not still sore about that thing, are you?
Katrina: What thing would that be, exactly? The wind-up slut you tinkered together, or when little Miss Nuts-and-Bolts tried to choke me to death?
Warren: Okay, so I've made a few mistakes.

Buffy: I'm home. Who wants to help scrape the grease off my...

Xander: Wanna go for a spin?
Buffy: Nah, I think I'm heading more towards an ungainly collapse.

Xander: Tall glasses of frosty relaxation on me! Nectar of the working man.

Buffy: I think I'll stay here with Dawn. Curl up on the couch with a big bowl of popcorn and... listen to cars honk?

Buffy: Where are you going?
Dawn: Sleeping over at Janice's.
Buffy: And I'm falling for that again because of the surprise lobotomy?

Buffy: Frosty nectar, now, please.

Warren: Gentlemen - to crime!

Andrew: Crime tastes funny.

Warren: I love you, too, baby. Get on your knees.

Katrina: Who the hell are you?
Andrew: Um, your masters?

Katrina: You were going to share me with these two dorks?
Andrew: Hey, we're supervillains. Call us master.

Katrina: There is no us, Warren, get that through your big, meaty head.

Jonathan: She's your ex?
Andrew: Dude, that is mixed up.
Katrina: Oh, you think?

Warren: We have two problems - the body and the Slayer. Well, what if there was a way that we could take care of them both... with one big stone?

Willow: We're not gonna have to do that at the wedding, are we? 'Cause there's this last thread of dignity I've been desperately clinging to.

Xander: Hey, I see sitting where there should be dancing.
Anya: Come share in the joy of our groove thang.
Willow: And despite that, I succumb to the beat.
Buffy: I think I'll catch the next soul train out.

Spike: You see, you try to be with them... but you always end up in the dark... with me.

Xander: I think I pulled a jive muscle last night.
Willow: The Funky Monkey claims another victim.

Xander: I'm gonna go bring Anya up to speed on that monkey situation.
Tara: There's a monkey problem?
Willow: Only if you don't stretch first.

Willow: No spells for 32 days. I can even go to the Magic Shop now, as long as someone's with me at all times.

Buffy: Don't think about the evil blood-sucking fiend. Focus on anything but the evil blood-sucking fiend. (woman screams, Buffy looks up) Thank you.

Warren: Two problems - one stone.

Andrew: What happens now?
Jonathan: Well, the night's young. Gotta be some more girls we could kill.

Spike: No one'll ever find her.
Policeman 1: Where'd they find her?
Policeman 2: The river. She washed up a half-mile from the cemetery.
Spike: Oh, balls.

Spike: I love you.
Buffy: No, you don't.
Spike: You think I haven't tried not to?

Spike: You always hurt the one you love, pet.

Anya: Its presence in our dimension causes a sort of localized temporal disturbance.
Buffy: So that's why time went all David Lynch?

Buffy: We need to find Warren and the other. Whatever they've done, they're not going to get away with it.
(meanwhile, across town)
Warren: We're gonna get away with it.

Andrew: We really got away with murder. That's... kind of cool.

Tara: You're the same Buffy. With a deep tropical cellular tan.