Willow: "I implore you, Neisa, blessed goddess of chance and fortune, heed my call, send to me the heart I desire."
Xander: "You know, magic at the poker table qualifies as cheating."
Willow: "That wasn't magic. I was praying."

Anya: "What a stupid game. All these rules just to win little plastic discs."
Xander: "Chips. They're called chips. They represent money, since none of us has any money to represent money."

Xander: "Want one?"
Willow: "No, thanks. Those things usually taste kind of tasteless, then leave a bad aftertastelessness."

Willow: "You know how it it with a spanking-new boyfriend."
Anya: "Yes, we've enjoyed spanking."
Xander: (loses his cards)

Xander: "The thing is, I think Riley's okay in an oafish kind of way, but am I the only one with a big, floating question-mark over his head about this Initiative thing?"

Willow: "They are anti-demon. But probably pro ex-demon."
Anya: "Maybe. I choose to feel threatened."

Buffy: "How was your night?"
Willow: "Like a normal person's. Light on the action-packed."

Willow: "Do you want to let him know you're here?"
Buffy: "No. Just enjoying a good stare."

Buffy: "Tell me about your night."
Willow: "Well, spent most of it at Xander's, teaching Anya to play poker."
Buffy: "That sounds like fun."
Willow: "Yeah. Except the Anya part, and the poker part."

Buffy: "A twinkie? That's his lunch? Oh, he is so gonna be punished."
Willow: "Everyone's getting a spank but me."

Spike: "Wipe your feet when you enter a person's home."
Giles: "Ah, yes, careless of me. Tracking mud all over your, um, mud."
Spike: "I'll admit, it's a bit of a fixer-upper. Needs a woman's touch. Care to have a crack at it?"

Giles: "Three hundred - count it if you like."
Spike: "I'll do that."

Spike: "And I don't want you crawling back here knocking on my door, pleading for help the second teen witch's magic goes all wonky, or little Xander cuts a new tooth."

Buffy: "My god. You said it was big. You told me, but you never said it was huge."
Riley: "Don't like to brag."

Buffy: "But not that I thought it was some fly-by-night operation. Unless it is. I mean, can you guys fly? At night? With those jet-pack things? Do you have those?"

Maggie: "I've assembled some reading material to bring you up to speed."
Buffy: "Oh. And I thought I was never going to get homework from you again."
Maggie: "You can't take that home. That's classified material. Highly sensitive. When you're through reading those pages you'll have to eat them."
Riley: "She's joking."
Maggie: "Don't worry - doesn't happen very often."

Buffy: "Behavior modification?"
Maggie: "We've made significant advances in reconditioning the subterrestrials. Bringing them to a point where they no longer pose a threat."
Buffy: "So I've seen. (awkward pause) On the Discovery Channel. With gorillas and sharks. They made them all nice. You haven't seen it?"

Maggie: "The more advanced arsenal can be complicated, but I'm certain, in time, you'll pick that up. Don't pick that up."

Buffy: "What is it?"
Maggie: "About $20,000."

Maggie: "Lose either one of them, there's hell to pay, and down here, we mean that literally."

Willow: "I've been trying to find a dolcite crystal my entire life. Well, since June, anyway."

Maggie: "Almost time to wake up, Adam, and take your first look at the world. I know you're going to make me proud."

Anya: "Xander, you haven't been paying any attention to me tonight. Just peddling those processed food bricks. I don't know why."
Xander: "Well, let me put it in a way you'll understand. Sell bars, make money, take Anya nice places, buy pretty things."
Anya: "That does make sense. All right, I support you. Go sell more."

Buffy: "Hi, all. Sorry about the late-itude."
Xander: "Late? Really? Huh - hadn't noticed."

Riley: "Hope you don't mind us tagging along."
Willow: "No, no, of course not. The more, the... more."

Buffy: "Anya seems a bit edgy."
Willow: "She's a little antsy around commando-types. Ex-demon issues."

Buffy: "You said you wanted to invite someone."
Willow: "No, not - no one. I mean, I meant a hypothetical someone, which is to say no one. What are we celebrating?"

Buffy: "Professor Walsh gave me the grand tour, and we're talking grand as in canyon. You'd never believe the size of it."
Willow: "That's really... again, I say neat."

Buffy: "Plus, boyfriend going to work with me - big extra perk."

Willow: "There's a bunch of stuff about them we still don't know."
Buffy: "I know that. Like what?"
Willow: "Well, what's their ultimate agenda? I mean, okay, yeah, they neuter vampires and demons, but then what? Are they gonna reintegrate them into society? Get them jobs as bag-boys at Walmart?"
Buffy: "Does Walmart have bag-boys?"

Buffy: "Why exactly can't we damage this polka thing's arms? Not that I want to. It's just, in my experience, when fighting for your life, body parts get damaged, and better its bits than mine. Or ours."

Buffy: "What do they want?"
Dr. Angleman: "Want?"
Buffy: "Why are they here? Sacrifices, treasure, or are they just getting rampagey?"

Maggie: "You might want to be suited up for this."
Buffy: "Oh, you mean the camo and stuff? I thought about it, but on me it's gonna look all Private Benjamin. Don't worry. I've patrolled in this halter many times."

Willow: "Irony's kind of ironic that way."

Buffy: "What do you mean she liked me before you did? You didn't like me?"

Forrest: "I've always been Riley's second-in-command. Instead he picks a girl."
Graham: "His girl."
Forrest: "Whatever. Three guesses on what that boy's thinking with."

Buffy: "So... what do you wanna do now?"

Giles: "I don't know how many more ways I can say, I'm not interested."
Xander: "Try one. Check these flavors: Cherry Berry, Maple Walnut, ooh, Almond Licorice."
Anya: "Eww."
Xander: "Anya, we don't say "Eww" in front of potential customers."
Anya: "Just skip this part and tell him you want money to buy me pretty things. He'll understand."
Giles: "Very well. Maple Walnut."
Xander: "An excellent choice."
Giles: (takes bite, grimaces) "Please leave my home now."

Xander: "Spike? You may wanna give up these morning jogs."

Spike: "Look, the buggers shot me, in the back."
Giles: "Remind me, why should I help you?"
Spike: "Because you do that. You're the goody-good guys. You're the bloody freaking cavalry."
Giles: "No, you can come up with a better answer than that. Why should I help you?"
Spike: "Oh, because I helped you. When you turned into that Fyarl demon, I helped you, didn't I?"
Giles: "And that was out of the evilness of your heart?"
Spike: "Oh, hell no. I made you pay me. (pause) You right bastard."

Buffy: "Your robot bird sounds hungry."
Riley: "It's just a reminder to take my vitamins."
Buffy: "You're kidding. You're quite the regimental soldier."

Giles: "It doesn't appear to be a bullet, and it's too deeply embedded to be a tranquilizer dart."
Spike: "Also not tranquil!"

Giles: "Some sort of illumination emanating from it. It's blinking."
Spike: "I don't care if it's playing "Rockin' the Casbah" on the bloody Jew's Harp, just get it out of me!"

Xander: "It's like a homing beacon. And if commando guys are reading the signal, they're coming home."

Maggie: "We have a reading of a class-three subterrestrial moving through sewer tunnels just on the north side of town."
Buffy: "Class-three?"
Maggie: "It's a low-level threat, minimal aggression, meager defenses. They barely show up on a scanner, and occasionally turn out to be raccoons."
Buffy: "Wow. You're not crazy about raccoons, huh?"

Willow: "Did it work? The atmosphere ionized?"
Giles: "I'd venture yes."

Buffy: "Professor Walsh? That simple little recon you sent me on? Wasn't a raccoon."

Xander: "Sure. Just explain to the nice scientist guys that you really miss killing and torturing innocent people."
Spike: "You think that would work?"

Maggie: "Adam?"
Adam: "Mommy."