Buffy: "Giles, you don't have to help. You cooked."
Giles: "Oh, come on. I like to help. Helping you two out makes me feel useful."
Dawn: "Wanna clean out the garage on Saturday? You could feel indispensible."

Buffy: "Dawn, if there are any plates in your room, let's have them before they get furry and we have to name them."
Dawn: "Hey! I was, like, five then."

Buffy: "I can beat up the demons until the cows come home... and then I can beat up the cows."

Buffy: "I love you. Really love you."
Dawn: "Gettin' weird."
Buffy: "Sorry, but it's important that I tell you. Weird love's better than no love."
(cut to) Spike: "Some say it's better than the real thing."

Buffy: "What's in the trunk?"
Giles: "Supplies."
Buffy: "Supplies? I was wondering about that. Like food, water, maybe a compass?"
Giles: "How about a book, a gourd, and a bunch of twigs."
Buffy: "I don't think I'll be that hungry."
Giles: "They're for me."

Buffy: "A Guide, but no food or water. So it leads me to a sacred place, and then a week later it leads you to my bleached bones?"
Giles: "Buffy, please!... It takes more than a week to bleach bones."

Buffy: "So, how does it start?"
Giles: "I, uh, jump out of the circle, then I jump back in it. And then I... uh... shake my gourd."
Buffy: "Oh, I know this ritual! The ancient shamans were next called upon to do the hokey-pokey and turn themselves around."
Giles: "Go quest."

Buffybot: "I want to hurt you, but I can't resist the sinister attraction of your cold and muscular body."
Spike: "Maybe I should repay you for your gentleness. Maybe I should let you go."
Buffybot: "No! No, Spike. Never let me go!"

Tara: "Oh yeah, Willow wants to watch this thing on The History Channel tonight -- Salem witch trial stuff, which is only gonna get her all upset."
Anya: "I was there. It really wasn't that bad. See if you were really a witch you'd do a spell to escape. So really it was only bad for the falsely accused, and, well, they never have a good time."

Buffybot: "You're evil."
Spike: "And that excites you?"
Buffybot: "It excites me, it terrifies me. I try so hard to resist you and I can't."
Spike: "Yeah?"
Buffybot: "Darn your sinister attraction!"

Buffybot: "Spike, I can't help myself! I love you!"
Spike: "You're mine, Buffy."
Buffybot: "Should I start this program over again?"

Willow: "It's got last week's notes too. Just get it back to me by Thursday... and don't write on it, or...or put a coffee mug down on it or anything... and don't spill. O.K. Oh, oh! And don't fold the page corners down. Bye!"

Buffybot: [Desktop Icons and Readout]

Hard Drive
Slaying
Locate Spike
Make Spike Happy
kissing01
kissing02
positions01
positions02
positions03
positions04
positions05...

Buffybot: [Readout]

XANDER:
>FRIEND
>CARPENTER
>DATES ANYA

ANYA:
>DATES XANDER
>LIKES MONEY
>EX-DEMON

Buffybot: "I don't understand that question, but thank you for asking! You're my friend. And a carpenter!"

Xander: "I wish Giles had told us they were back from the desert. I wish I knew what went on there."
Anya: "Oh, you know, Slayer-Watcher stuff. Probably some silly ritual with an enchanted prarie dog or something."

Willow: "Those darn Salem judges, with their Less-Satanic-Than-Thou attitudes!"
Tara: "Oh honey, let's change it. The Discovery Channel has koala bears."

Tara: "Everyone? Before we jump all over her: People do strange things when someone they love dies. When I lost my mother I did some pretty dumb stuff, like lying to my family and staying out all night."
Anya: "Buffy's boinking Spike."
(pause) Willow: "Oh... well, Tara's right. Grief can be powerful... and we shouldn't judge..."
Tara: "What, are you kidding? She's nuts!"

Tara: "You aren't really going to slap her, are you?"
Xander: "No, but if I have to see her straddle Spike one more time I will definitely knock myself unconscious."

Spike: "She's upset about her mum. And if she turns to me for comfort, well I'm not going to deny her. I'm not a monster."
Xander: "Yes, you are a monster. Vampires are monsters. They make monster movies about them."
Spike: "Well, yeah. You got me there."

Buffybot: [Readout]

WILLOW:
>BEST FRIEND
>GAY (1999-PRESENT)
>WITCH
>GOOD WITH COMPUTERS

Willow: "So, just this one time, you did something kinda crazy..."
Buffybot: "It wasn't one time. It was lots of times. And lots of different ways. I could make sketches!"

Buffybot: "Angel's lame. His hair grows straight up, and he's bloody stupid."

Xander: "The guys who work for Glory, you said they're kinda like hobbits with leprosy? Well this was a whole flock of hobbits."

Glory: (re: Spike) "What the hell is that? And why is its hair that color?"

Spike: "Damn right I'm impure! I'm as impure as the driven yellow snow."

Anya: "We're just kind of thrown by the you having sex with Spike."
Buffy: "The who whatting how with huh?"
Anya: "O.k., that's denial. That usually comes before anger."
Buffy: "I'm not having sex with Spike!"
Anya: (nods) "Anger."

Xander: "No one is judging you. It's understandable-- Spike is strong and myseterious, and sort of compact, but well-muscled...."
Buffy: "I am not having sex with Spike! But I'm starting to think that you might be!"

Xander: "We saw you and Spike with the straddling...."
Buffybot: "Spike's mine! Who's straddling Spike?"
Buffy: "Oh my God..."
Xander: "And so say all of us."

Buffybot: "Hey! You look just like me! We're very pretty."

Xander: "Spike must have had her built so he could program her to..."
Buffy: "Oh, God!"
Willow: "Imagine the things..."
Buffy: "No! No imagining, any of you."
Xander: (raises hand) "Already got the visual."

Buffybot: "You're right. He's evil. But you should see him naked. I mean, really!"

Flunky: We will bring you the limp and beaten body of Bob Barker!"

Glory: "I am a god."
Spike: "The god of what? Bad home perms?"
Glory: "Shut up! I command you: Shut up!"
Spike: "Yeah, o.k. Sorry. But I just had no idea that gods were such prancing lightweights. Mark my words: the Slayer is going to kick your skanky, lopsided ass back to whatever place would take a cheap, whorish, fashion-victim, ex-god like you."
(she power-kicks him across the room, through the wall... and out of his chains) Spike: (spitting up more blood) "Good plan, Spike."

Dawn: "We're safe. Right. And Spike built a robot Buffy to play checkers with."
Tara: "It sounded convincing when I thought it!"

Anya: "Uck! It looks very complicated in there. Personally, I'd rather look at guts."

Spike: "'Cuz Buffy -- the other, not-so-pleasant Buffy -- anything happened to Dawn, it'd destroy her. Couldn't live, her being that much pain. I'd let Glory kill me first. Nearly bloody did."

Buffy: "What you did for me and Dawn, that was real. I won't forget it."