Joyce: "Listen, you two, I know this creamed spinach is pretty delicious, but I promise I won't be offended if you go out for some real food."
Buffy: "Are you kidding me? This is the good life. Relaxing in bed while people bring you food on trays."
Dawn: "I like the jell-o."
Joyce: "Help yourself. There's something about food that moves by itself that gives me the heebie-jeebies."
Dawn: "It's good and wiggly. There's a girl at school told me that gelatin is made from ground up cows feet, and that if you eat jell-o there's some cows that are limping with no feet, but I told her I'm sure they kill 'em before they take off their feet... right?"
Buffy: "You're the one who insisted on teaching her to talk."

Joyce: "I woke up exhausted. There's really no more exhausted to get."

Buffy: "Waiting? Give me a break. We got tons to do."
Dawn: "We have soap operas to watch, and trashy magazines to read."
Buffy: "And an adjustable bed to fiddle with. That alone can keep me busy for four hours or so."

Xander: "Hey, human chest, human chest!"
Giles: "Sorry."

Giles: "Oh my god, what a rough night."
Willow: "Ha haa! I just did two of 'em! Yay on me. That was pretty cool. Except the part where I was all terrified, and now my knees are all dizzy."

Willow: "Oh, piffle, who needs him when I'm dusting two at a ti-- (her knees buckle and the boys catch her) Whoops. Maybe it would have been good if he had showed up."

Willow: "Oh, I feel just like Santa Claus, except thinner and younger, and female, and, well, Jewish."

Willow: "This is an extra special gift for your mom that I know she'll need: a beer hat!"

Willow: "And somehow, when I was in the store, this seemed like the most important idea, and now there's the whole part where I'm crazy."

Buffy: "You got her a book on spells? The girl who can break things by just looking at them, now has a book to teach her to... break things by looking at 'em?"

Willow: "Buffy, I have this for you."
Buffy: "Homework? Ehh... I don't believe in tiny Jewish Santa anymore."

Joyce: "I'd rip it in half and stick it in bed with me!"

Willow: "She'll be all normal all the time."
Dawn: "Is that right?"
Buffy: "Hey, Santa doesn't lie."

Buffy: "The crazy man was a little, you know, crazy."

Willow: "You know what's weird?"
Tara: "Japanese commercials are weird."

Willow: "You know, I used to love to look up at them when I was little. They're supposed to make you feel all insignificant, but they made me feel like... like I was in space, part of the stars."

Willow: "There's Canis Minor, and Cassiopeia."
Tara: "And the Big Pineapple."
Willow: "Um, you know, I'm not sure I remember that one..."

Tara: "The real ones never made sense to me. I sort of have my own."
Willow: "Teach me."
Tara: "See those stars over there? 'Short man looking uncomfortable.' 'A moose getting a sponge bath.' 'Little pile o' crackers.' That... that was a bit of a stretch. You do it. What would you call... that one."
Willow: "Let's see. A huge flaming meteor about to crash into something!"

Joyce: "I bet it's not even hooked up to anything. Just like the push buttons at the crosswalk that are supposed to make the signal change."
Buffy: "I'm sure someone's on-- What? The push buttons aren't hooked up to anything?"

Doctor: There's no reason to get upset."
Joyce: "No reason to get upset? Oh, right, sorry. I must just think there is because of my brain tumor!"

Riley: "Heard I missed out on some fun."
Xander: "Oh, yeah, fun was had. Also frolic, merriment, and near-death hi-jinks."

Willow: "Whoa. We have meteorite."

Riley: "No, it's not hot, it's warm. And broken. And sort of..."
Giles: "Hollow?"
Riley: "Yeah."
Anya: "So, we're all thinking the same thing, right?"
Xander: "Festive pinata? Delicious candy?"
Willow: "Something evil crashed to Earth in this, and then broke out and slithered away to do badness."
Giles: "In all fairness, we don't really know about the 'slithered' part."
Anya: "Oh, no. I'm sure it frisked about like a fluffy lamb."

Riley: "No pulse."
Anya: "Yep, the space lamb got him."

Riley: "That might be toxic. Don't touch it."
Xander: "Oh, yeah, touching it was my first impulse. Luckily, I've moved on to my second, which involves dry-heaving and running like hell."

Willow: "We can't call Buffy. I want to call Buffy!"

Willow: "So, we'll just figure this out ourselves. We're experienced."
Anya: "Yes, 'cause it seems like we're always dealing with creatures from outer space... except that we don't ever do that."

Giles: "Perhaps we should explore a bit more. Head into the woods a bit."
(pause) Xander: "Who votes research?"
Anya: "Me."
Willow: "Research."
Giles: "Much better idea."
Riley: "Yeah, I think that's a good call."

Riley: "I'm just not great at research. Which I'm sure you guys figured out. I like me a good crime scene."

Riley: "Believe me, something jumps out at me in the dark, you'll hear me even without the phone."

Willow: "I don't want to be the one that finds the bodies anymore."

Graham: "You found a stiff in the woods and called us in? Don't you usually call your girlfriend for this kind of thing?"

Riley: "Not subterrestrial, Major. Extraterrestrial."

Xander: "Look at how teeny Mercury is, compared to, like, Saturn. Whereas in contrast, the cars of the same name..."

Xander: "I still don't get why we had to come here to get info about a killer snot demon."
Giles: "Because it's a killer snot demon from outer space. (pause) I did not say that.
Giles: "Demons enter our world in all sorts of different ways. This one came from above."
Xander: "And the university library's astronomy section is the home of aboveness. Got it."

Giles: "Well, then, it would appear that the world is not being invaded."
Tara: "I'm pretty pleased about that."

Willow: "Some witnesses claimed the meteor was hollow."
Xander: "Hmm, maybe with a chewy demon center, like ours."

Giles: "As if something emerged from the meteors, and quelled the madmen."
Xander: "Meteor go boom, crazy guy go bye-bye."

Buffy: "What the hell are you doing in my house?"
Spike: "Right, then... caught me. Your basement's full of junk, and me being in need of... junk..."
Buffy: "You were stealing?"
Spike: "Well, yeah. Can't exactly work the counter at Burger Barn, can I?"
Buffy: "Wait-- are those pictures of me?"

Joyce: "No matter what she is, she still feels like my daughter. I have to know that you'll take care of her, that you'll keep her safe, that you'll love her like I love you."
Buffy: "I promise."