Principal Snyder: "A lot of educators tell students, 'Think of your principal as
your pal.' I say, think of me as your judge, jury, and executioner."
Principal Snyder: "Sheila has never burnt down a school building."
Buffy: "Well, that was never proven. The fire marshall said it could've been
mice."
Principal Snyder: "Mice."
Buffy: "Mice that were smoking?"
Principal Snyder: "Your parents, assuming you have any, will meet your
teachers, assuming you have any left."
Xander: "Well, Sheila's definitely intense. That guy with her -- that's the guy she
can bring home to mother."
Willow: "She was already smoking in the fifth grade. Once, I was look-out for
her."
Xander: "You're bad to the bone."
Willow: "I'm a rebel."
Spike: "If every vampire who said he was at the crucifixion was actually there, it
would've been like Woodstock."
Spike: "I fed off a flower person, and I spent the next six hours watching my
hand move."
Spike: "So, who do you kill for fun around here?"
Spike: "Do you know what I found worked real good with Slayers? Killing
them."
Joyce: "What's wrong?"
Buffy: "I spent a good part of my allowance on this new creme rinse, and it's
neither creamy nor rinsey."
Buffy: "What can you really tell about a person from a test score?"
Joyce: "Whether or not she's ever going out with her friends again."
Buffy: "Oh, that."
Willow: "I thought we were going to the Bronze tonight, 'cause of how you
thought Angel might show."
Xander: "If he does, he'll meet some other nice girl. Studying comes first."
Buffy: "We're going to the Bronze."
Ms. Calendar: "Rupert, you have got to read something that was published
after 1066."
Giles: "This Saturday is the Night of St. Vigeous."
Buffy: "Let me guess. He didn't make balloon animals."
Giles: "You're being a tad flip, don't you think? This is serious."
Buffy: "And getting kicked out of school is laughs aplenty?"
Buffy: "Okay, well, if my slaying doesn't get me expelled, then I promise my
banner-making won't get me killed, okay?"
Giles: "This Saturday's going to need a great deal of preparation."
Willow: "Well, we'll help."
Xander: "Yeah, I'll whittle stakes."
Willow: "And I can research stuff."
Xander: "And while I'm whittling, I plan to whistle a jaunty tune."
Giles: "You are, after all, the Slay--"
Ms. Calendar: "Ahem."
Giles: "Slay--uh...slaves! You're all slaves to the, uh, television."
Principal Snyder: "You wouldn't be helping Buffy in Sheila's place, would
you?"
Xander: "Heheh...no."
Willow: "We're hindering."
Principal Snyder: "Hmm! I feel an expulsion coming on."
Sheila: "Did you really burn down a school building one time?"
Buffy: "Well, not actually "one time".
Sheila: "Cool!"
Buffy: "Le vache doit me touche de la jeudi. Was it wrong? Should I use the
plural?"
Willow: "No, but you said, 'The cow should touch me from Thursday.'"
Buffy: "Maybe that's what I was thinking."
Willow: "And you said it wrong."
Buffy: "Oh, je stink."
Willow: "You're just not focused. It's Angel missage."
Xander: "You've been studying for nearly twelve minutes."
Buffy: "No wonder my brain's fried."
Spike: "Go get something to eat."
Vampire: "Slayer."
Buffy: "Slayee."
Buffy: "Get her out of here, and a stake would be nice!"
Buffy: "Who are you?"
Spike: "You'll find out on Saturday."
Buffy: "What happens on Saturday?"
Spike: "I kill you."
Xander: "So this Night of St. Vigeous deal, if they're gonna' attack in force,
aren't we thinking vacation?"
Willow: "We can't run, that would be wrong. Could we hide? I mean, if that
Spike guy is leading the attack...yeee!"
Angel: "Once he starts something, he doesn't stop, until everything in his path
is dead."
Xander: "Hmm, so he's thorough, goal-oriented."
Buffy: "Come on, you've been dating for what, like 200 years? You don't know
what a girl means when she says maybe she'll show?"
Willow: "Wow, two centuries of dating. If you only had two a year, that's still,
like, 400 dates with 400 different--"
Buffy: "..."
Willow: "Why do they call it a mace?"
Giles: "We do have slightly more urgent matters to discuss."
Buffy: "Yeah, like keeping my mom away from Principal Snyder tomorrow
night."
Ms. Calendar: "And not dying Saturday."
Xander: "Okay, that's it. I'm putting a collar with a little bell on that guy."
Spike: "This is the place for us. The Hellmouth will restore you, put color in
your cheeks, metaphorically speaking."
Spike: "All right, I"ll go up and get chanty with the fellas, but you got to do me
one favor: eat something."
Xander: "Does anybody remember when Saturday night meant date night?"
Cordelia: "You sure don't."
Cordelia: "My fingers are cramping. How long have I been doing this?"
Xander: "Three minutes."
Cordelia: "So can I go now? She doesn't need this many stakes. I mean, if this
guy Spike is as mean as you all said, it should be over pretty quickly."
Buffy: "..."
Cordelia: "We're still all rooting for you on Saturday. I'd be there for you myself
if I didn't have a leg wax."
Willow: "What kind of punch did you make?"
Buffy: "Uh, lemonade. I made it fresh and everything."
Willow: "How much sugar did you use?"
Buffy: "Sugar?"
Cordelia: "Giles has us locked up in that library working on your weapons.
Even slaves get minimum wage."
Cordelia: "You're starting to look a little slagged. What, are you just skipping
foundation entirely now?"
Buffy: "Cordelia, I have at least three lives to contend with, none of which really
mesh. It's kind of like oil and water and a...third unmeshable thing."
Cordelia: "Yeah, and I can see the oil. Is that your mom? Now that is a woman
that knows how to moisturize. Did it, like, skip a generation?"
Buffy: "Um, but you haven't seen the boiler room yet, and you know that's
really interesting, what with the boiler being in the room and all."
Cordelia: "When they're done talking..."
Buffy: "What?"
Cordelia: "My guess? Tenth High School Reunion, you'll still be grounded."
Willow: "Cordelia, have some lemonade."
Spike: "I'm a veal kind of guy, you're too old to eat...but not to kill. I feel better."
Xander: "I'm not going anywhere until I know that Buffy and Willow are all
right."
Joyce: "I didn't get much of a look, but is there something wrong with their
faces?"
Principal Snyder: "Yes! PCP. It's a gang on PCP!"
Principal Snyder: "Who do you think you are?"
Buffy: "I'm the one that knows how to stop them."
Spike: "I find one of your friends first, I'm gonna' suck him dry...and use their
bones to bash your head in. Are you getting a word picture here?"
Buffy: "Giles, my mother's in that room. If I don't make it out of here, I know
you'll make sure she does."
Giles: "Bloody right, I will."
Principal Snyder: "I'm beginning to see a certain mother/daughter relationship."
Vampire: "The, uh, door is solid."
Spike: "Use your head."
Spike: "Come up against this Slayer yet?"
Angel: "She's cute. Not too bright, though. Gave the puppy dog, 'I'm all
tortured' act. Keeps her off my back when I feed."
Spike: "Ha ha! People still fall for that Anne Rice routine. What a world!"
Xander: "I knew you were lying. Undead...liar guy."
Spike: "You were my sire, man! You were my...Yoda!"
Spike: "Man, I can't believe this. You Uncle Tom!"
Spike: "Fe, fi, fo, fum. I smell the blood of a nice ripe girl."
Buffy: "Do we really need weapons for this?"
Spike: "I just like them. They make me feel all manly."
Spike: "As a personal favor, from me to you, I'll make it quick. It won't hurt a
bit."
Buffy: "No, Spike. It's gonna' hurt a lot."
Angel: "I had to see if he was buying it or not."
Xander: "And if he bit me, what then?"
Angel: "We would have known he bought it."
Xander: "What's the deal with you being his sire? What's a sire?"
Spike: "From now on, we're gonna' have a little less ritual...and a little more fun
around here!"
Spike: "Let's see what's on TV."