Giles: "Oh. You three.

Giles: "...Our new fuhrer, Mr. Snyder.
Willow: "I think they call them Principals now.

Giles: "He thought it would behoove me to have more contact with the students. I did try to explain that my vocational choice of librarian was a deliberate attempt to minimize said contact...

Buffy: "Giles, to every generation is born one who must run the annual talentless show. You cannot escape your destiny.
Giles: "If you had any shred of decency, you would have participated, or at least helped.
Buffy: "Nah! I think I'll take on your traditional role, and watch.
Xander: "And mock.
Willow: "And laugh.

Principal Snyder: "My predecessor, Mr. Flutie, may have gone in for that touchy- feely relating nonsense, but he was eaten. You're in my world now. And Sunnydale has touched and felt for the last time.

Principal Snyder: "I know the three of you will come up with a wonderful act for the school to watch... and mock... and laugh. At.

Willow: "I think dummies are cute. You don't?
Buffy: "Eww. They give me the wig. Ever since I was little.
Willow: "What happened?
Buffy: "I saw a dummy, it gave me the wig. There really wasn't a story there.

Sid: "You call those jokes? My jockey shorts are made out of better material. And they're edible.

Xander: "I have my pride. Okay, so I don't have a *lot* of my pride, but I have enough so that I can't do this.

Buffy: "What am I gonna do, slay vampires on stage?
Willow: "Maybe in a funny way.

Xander: "What ever happened to corporal punishment?

Sid: "How about you and I do a little rehearsing on our own, honey? You know what they say: Once you go wood, nothing's as good.

Buffy: "You might want to consider getting some new shtick, unless you want your prop ending up as a duraflame log.

Principal Snyder: "That's the kind of wooly: headed liberal thinking that leads to being eaten.

Giles: "Her heart was removed.
Willow: "Yikes!
Buffy: "Does that mean anything to you besides, 'oohh!'"

Buffy: "But demons have claws and teeth.
Xander: "They got no use for a big ol' knife.

Willow: "The creep factor is also heightened. It could be anyone. It could be me. *pause* It's not, though.

Cordelia: "All I can think is, "It could have been me."
Xander: "We can dream.

Buffy: "All we know is that Morgan is a Grade "A" large weirdo. That doesn't lead directly to murderer.
Xander: "The guy talks to his puppet.
Willow: "And _for_ his puppet.

Giles: "My investigation is somewhat hampered by a life in the theatre.
Buffy: "Uh, priority check, Giles... talent show... murder!

Principal Snyder: "There are things I will not tolerate: Student's loitering on campus after school, horrible murders with hearts being removed, and also smoking.

Buffy: "Look, Mom, if you really love me, and want to show your support, you'll stay away... far away.

Buffy: "Okay, everyone look at me like I'm in a bunny suit, 'cause that's how stupid I feel saying this.

Buffy: "I'm not just some crazy person. I'm the Slayer.
Xander: "The dummy slayer?

Xander: "Once again I'm banished to the demon section of the card catalog.

Buffy: "Whoever's out there, I'm going to hurt you! Badly! If you'll just give me a minute.

Sid: "Lets just say there was me, there was a really mean demon, there was a curse, and the next thing I know, I'm not me any more. I'm sitting on some guy's knee, with his hand up my shirt.

Sid: "Look at you, you're strong, athletic, limber... nubile... I'm back.

Buffy: "So that horny dummy thing really isn't an act, is it?
Sid: "Nope.
Buffy: "Yuck.

Xander: "So the dummy tells us that he's a demon hunter, and we're, like, fine, la la la la. He takes off, and now there's a brain. Does anyone else feel like they've been Keyser Soze'd?

Buffy: "This means whatever's out there still needs a healthy, intelligent brain.
Xander: "In other words, I'm safe!

Giles: "I must say, all of you, your t- timing is impeccable.

Principal Snyder: "I don't get it. What is it, avant-garde?

Xander: "Madness, and... madness, and stabbing pain...