| Two By Two Hands of Blue by Thursday Next |
| Chapter #11 - Chapter 11: Everything In Its Wrong Place |
| Chapter 11: Everything In Its Wrong Place “Everybody ready?” Mal prowled the deck, assessing his crew’s fitness for action. “Suited and booted and ready to go, Sir.” Zoë replied, with a smile. Next to her, Buffy hung her head, lost in thought. Inwardly she cursed herself for not paying more attention to Mal. The next few hours were crucial, for her own survival, the rest of the crew’s, the fate of Sunnydale, the potentials and the entire world. And here she was, not giving the mission her full attention. After weeks, no, months, of ignoring everything but the mission to the detriment of her relationship with her sister, her friends, Spike. Spike. Thinking about him sent an odd shiver down her spine. A convulsion of love, anger, disgust, guilt, longing and betrayal. In her mind was a constant video playback of him leaving Inara’s shuttle. Shirtless. She hated that she was attracted to him shirtless, even as his shirtless state was evidence of his betrayal. And yet, you couldn’t call it betrayal, not really. She had never given him any reason to hope that she loved him. Denied it, to him almost as loudly as to herself. “I don’t love you.” “Ask me again why I could never love you”. Each denial more feeble than the last. It had been getting harder and harder to deny the truth of her feelings for him. And the one thing that had kept her from giving in to her feelings was her mission. And yet now, when the mission mattered most, it was her feelings that were keeping her from concentrating. Everything in its wrong place. He was there, standing the other side of Jayne. Accepting the breathing equipment Mal handed him, although he didn’t breathe. How come nobody on Serenity had noticed that Spike didn’t breathe? Buffy wondered. Not that it was important. Spike’s vampire status was an inconvenience best kept a secret, nothing more. It wasn’t, she realised suddenly, with a flash of insight, even the reason she couldn’t be with him. When she had tried Riley and flirted with Ben and even dated Principal Wood in a time of crisis. Another assumption blown away in the post-apocalyptic wind of realisation Buffy found herself in. It wasn’t because he was a vampire that she couldn’t be with him, that she had shut herself off from him. It was because she knew, deep down, that she could, that she did, truly love him. Oh, but how she hated him right now. The conflicting emotions gnawed at her until she felt her heart left raw and bleeding. Then she remembered the mission. Something to focus on. The same thing she had been focussing on all these months, the apocalypse she had found it easy to face up to because it helped her to ignore the one thing she was really afraid of. Falling in love. Losing herself in another person. Something she couldn’t allow to happen ever, ever again. But perhaps it already had. He stopped to let her pass as they entered the shuttle. She brushed past him, ignored him; ignored the look of confused rejection as she refused to return his encouraging smile. The doorway was small, though, and her arm brushed against his as she climbed in. She shivered at the touch. When had been the last time she had touched him? Had it always been awkward? Memories of the two of them intertwined, naked and covered in bruises came unbidden into her mind and she had to fight to keep herself from blushing. She knew every inch of his body, every scar – she had caused some of them – and he knew every inch of hers. How she had gone so long, seeing him so often, living in such close proximity without remembering that and the feelings it evoked, she didn’t know. Oh yeah, the mission. Buffy made a conscious effort to focus and give Mal her full attention. The plan to infiltrate the building she didn’t fully understand. She wasn’t quite clear yet on who exactly the various factions were – the Alliance, the Blue Sun Corporation….she knew her role in the whole job pretty much involved kicking ass and getting the source. Well, that was pretty much her job description. Actually, her job description was the slaying of vampires, and since the only vampire in this dimension seemed to be Spike, she guessed that was on hold…Damnit, now she was thinking about Spike again… __________________________________________________ Buffy, Spike and Mal reached the upper level. Zoë and Jayne had remained downstairs on guard duty. There had been a disagreement between Buffy and Mal over the handling of any guards they found. Buffy was strictly against the killing of humans – she’d phrased it ‘civilians’, a Rileyism that had made Spike snort in derision – while Mal regarded anyone against them as a an enemy and a legitimate target. Eventually, a compromise had been reached – Buffy would not kill civilians, Mal, Zoë and Jayne would only do so if their survival depended on it. Working on the directions Willow had retrieved from River’s memories – some real, others seemingly imprinted by the Slayer essence that had been forced into her – Buffy lead Mal and Spike towards the place she hoped to find the Source. The level was surprisingly quiet. Buffy had expected more guards and could tell from Mal’s nervous twitching and gun pointing as they rounded each corner that he had as well. She couldn’t help the chilling thought that perhaps there were no guards or obvious security arrangements because they didn’t mind who got in – they didn’t intend anyone to leave. In fact, the more she thought about it, the more she realised that they had been so preoccupied with how to get into the building, they hadn’t given enough thought to how they were going to get safely out. Once they entered the room, she didn’t need Willow’s directions, and was glad she hadn’t listened to Spike’s suggestion to bring her along. It didn’t take a witch to recognise the powerful object. It took a Slayer. Disregarding the safe method of entering rooms which Mal had drummed into her, Buffy dropped her weapon and ran across to the shelf at the back of the room. It was filled with unusual trinkets, but Buffy could find at once what she was looking for. On the middle shelf, a carved wooden box, identical to the one she had last seen in her living room on Revello Drive, the empty box taken from Nikki Wood’s Slayer bag. Carefully, she opened the box and slowly took out the gem concealed within it. It glowed a faint green colour. As she held it in her hands, she could feel that it was somehow hers. The true source of Slayer power. As she cradled the gem in her hands, Buffy turned to her companions, to tell them it was done, they could go. Mal was absorbed in looking at the objects on the shelf, every one of them unique and clearly valuable. She could not begrudge him his share of the take; it was, after all, why he and his crew had signed up for such a dangerous mission in the first place. Her eyes flickered from Mal to Spike. He was looking at her in a way that…no, she mustn’t mistake it for love. That was over. He had moved on, she had to as well, however painful. She looked down at the floor, determined not to look at him. She felt suddenly exposed, as though someone was looking at her. But she would not look at him. Suddenly, she heard a strangled cry. Her eyes darted to her right, in the direction of the cry, and she saw Mal slump to the ground, holding his chest with a tortured grimace. Her eyes flew wide open and she looked instinctively over to the doorway where Spike stood. Spike stood paralysed, his gaze fixed on Buffy in an expression of shock, neither moving nor crying out. Behind him loomed a man – or rather, creature – that Buffy recognised from a dream. Like one of the Gentlemen who had stolen their voices, bald and creepy. For a second she wondered if that was what had happened to Spike who remained silent and immobile before her, but then she remembered her dream and glanced down at his hands. They were blue. Two by two, hands of blue. River’s voice in her head. Buffy thrust the gem into her pocket and fingered it for reassurance. For a moment she stood still, her gaze locked with Spike’s, before she managed to tear herself away. The only way to save herself, the gem, Spike, Mal, was to focus on the mission. She had spent too much time already not concentrating, not acting when she needed to act. Two things happened at once. Two by two. Another man/creature appeared in the doorway, behind Spike. Hands of blue. His blue fingers caressed Spike’s cheek menacingly. Buffy fought down a growing feeling of queasiness and lunged towards Mal, who lay slumped on the ground. She grabbed his gun. These were no ‘civilians’. She caught the words “interesting specimen” before opening fire. She prayed that she didn’t hit Spike, thankful for almost the first time that he was a vampire and that while bullets might hurt him; they would almost certainly not kill him. There was a hideous cry from one of the blue creatures and a flash of blue lightning headed straight for her. Buffy ducked and rolled out of the way, hidden flat underneath a desk. Mal was not so lucky, Buffy could see him convulse as the lightning grazed his left shoulder before setting light to the bookcase. When the smoke cleared, Buffy peered out from beneath the desk. Mal was still there, groaning and clutching his left side. Spike and the men with blue hands were gone. Buffy got up and ran to Mal’s side, hauling him indelicately to his feet and supporting him as she ran to the doorway. With Spike and the blue-handed men nowhere to be seen in either direction, and Mal groaning with pain, there was only one option. Almost on autopilot, Buffy dragged Mal’s semi-conscious body back down the stairs to where Jayne and Zoë were waiting nervously. They stood to attention as Buffy appeared, the body of their captain in tow. “What the hell happened up there?” Zoë demanded. “Did you get it?” Jayne wanted to know. Exhausted and emotionally numb, Buffy could only shrug and show them the gem. “And Spike?” Zoë asked, more gently, as she and Jayne relieved Buffy of her burden, the captain. Buffy shook her head dumbly. She couldn’t think. If only she could think. She had to get Spike back. She headed towards the stairs. “Buffy!” Zoë called. Buffy ignored her. Then, at the top of the stairs, a figure appeared. Human shaped, at first, until you noticed its hands. It raised a finger in Buffy’s direction. “Buffy!!” Zoë screamed, and ran towards the motionless Slayer, grabbing her by the hand and pulling her back. The door closed behind them. “Buffy, we have to go!” Zoë insisted, “Please, we have to save Mal and we have to get the source to safety. Buffy come on! We need you!” Buffy snapped out of her daze. They needed her. She wasn’t going to go all zombified like when Glory took Dawn. That wouldn’t be any help to anyone, Spike least of all. She took hold of one of Mal’s arms, Zoë took the other and Jayne prepared to blast their way to safety. __________________________________________ Back on Serenity, Mal safely delivered into the capable hands of Simon, Buffy stood on the deck as the Firefly-class vessel burst into orbit. She dug into her pocket and retrieved the gem. The gem. Source of Slayer power. Such a little thing, to cause so much trouble. She had got what she came for. Spike’s shocked eyes as he had been taken by the men with blue hands rose before her and she felt suddenly sick. She had got what she came for. But at what price? |