| Needlework by Holly |
| Chapter #20 - The Long And Winding Road |
The Long And Winding Road She awoke with Spike’s arm around her, his blunt teeth teasing the claim mark on her throat. His arm was draped over her middle, his thumb stroking her stomach teasingly. The potency with which she felt him would likely take years to get used to, but it was the most wondrous feeling she had ever experienced. Every move that coursed through him, every sigh, every inward purr of contentment; she shared it all. Felt it all. And it was so right; she feared even contemplating the way her life would have gone if Dracula hadn’t whipped the carpet from under her feet. Hadn’t torn her away from the world she knew, and introduced her to this existence that she had so violently rebuked just two weeks before. The man behind her, holding her, murmuring his love into her hair as he slipped his erection inside her with a contented growl—the man that she had loathed so fervently in a life that was far behind her. She couldn’t imagine the girl that had hated Spike. The girl that didn’t know him. The girl whose life she had so nearly been condemned to live out before a bittersweet twist of fate changed all that for her. Buffy wasn’t prepared to say that becoming a vampire was the best awakening she had ever had, but similarly, she couldn’t think of her former life without growing disgusted with herself. Without appreciating where she was now. She liked to think that she would have ended up here—with Spike, in his bed, in his arms—without needing a pair of fangs, but she knew better. The girl that had lived in her mother’s house, the girl that had gone to UC Sunnydale, the girl that was Chosen, was dead. “Hey there,” Spike whispered into her hair, his hand dancing down her abdomen to dip between her thighs. She had never had sex in any position that wasn’t featured popularly in Hollywood movies, and the feel of him moving within her from behind sent her to new levels of ecstasy. But she wanted to look at him; see his eyes as he moved within her. She threw her leg over his waist, locking an arm around his neck, twisting slightly so she could see him. The angle spread her wider, sent his cock deeper within her, and she gasped aloud at the pleasured coo that tore through his lips. “Hey,” she replied hoarsely. “Fuck.” “Why yes, I believe that’s what we’re doing.” Spike smirked and seized her lips, settling his fingers over her clit and massaging her rapidly. “So tight,” he whimpered. “So fuckin’ hot.” “Ohhhh…” “I’m not gonna last.” His thrusts grew frantic. “I need to feel you come. Come for me, baby.” If his whispered plea didn’t do it for her, the feel of his masterful fingers manipulating her body, his cock thrusting into her slick passage, his ivory fangs in her throat pushed her over that final edge. Buffy screamed her release into the still of the room, her walls clenching around him as he emptied himself in her supple, willing body. It was fast but wonderful, and sent her spiraling into an incredible wake. “You’re amazing,” Spike murmured, lapping her wound closed as he slipped out of her, his arms closing around her and turning her to face him fully. “So bloody amazing.” Buffy smiled languidly and brushed a kiss against his lips. “You’re pretty amazing yourself.” “Fancy bein’ woken up like that for the rest of eternity?” He grinned and nuzzled her throat. “Think that’s somethin’ you might like?” A long, dramatic sigh rushed through her. “I suppose I’ll manage.” “Right sacrifice from where you’re sittin’, I’d wager.” “Oh yeah.” Her head settled against their shared pillow with a dopey grin. “Major sacrifice.” “Minx.” “Hey, you asked.” Spike smiled softly and tugged her closer, if such was possible. “I did at that.” They lay together for a few quiet seconds, enjoying a comfortable silence. Buffy sighed again contentedly, her eyes fluttering shut. There wasn’t another person in the world that she could share this with. A silence that didn’t strain, air that didn’t require words to be meaningful. She knew how he felt without needing it spoken. Knew how to relax in the company of another, simply soaked in his love and kept in the security of his embrace. “Mmm.” She opened her eyes again to find him watching her, his gaze positively glowing with adoration. “There’s…I think we should go today.” “Go?” Buffy wet her lips. “To see Mom. And…the others.” A frown worried his eyes. “Are you sure?” “No.” She shivered slightly and buried herself further in his arms. “I just think it’s better if we go to them before they come to us. I don’t want…” Another long sigh coursed through her body. “I need to do be the one who does this.” “I know.” He paused. “Do you want me to come?” “Of course I do.” Spike sat up at that, pulling her fully into his lap. “They’re not gonna understand, pet,” he said softly. “You gotta know that.” She glanced down, watching her hand sketch artless patterns across his skin. “Yeah, I know.” A beat. “But if they love me, they’ll accept it. Even if they don’t understand it, they’ll accept it…right?” “Angel’s gonna have told Rupert what happened.” “Yes.” “An’ your soldier boy’ll be the bloody icing on the cake.” “Well…they’ll just have to deal with it.” Buffy shook her head and buried her face in the crook of his throat. “If they can’t deal, well…” Her voice trailed off. There was nothing she could say. She desperately wanted the approval and blessing of her friends, and while she would not allow them to come between her and her lover, it would crush her if every link to her former life was severed. She missed them. She missed them, and she was terrified of them. But she couldn’t put it off forever. And she had promised herself when they met, it would be on her terms. “It’s okay, my little love,” Spike murmured after a minute. “It’s okay.” Buffy nodded and pulled back, wiping at her eyes. “I know,” she replied honestly. “I do…I just…” “If they try anythin’, we’ll leave town, right?” “I’m so scared it’ll come to that.” Spike shook his head. “Oh no. No, baby, they won’t…your mates love you. You know it. I was jus’ sayin’…I din’t think it—” “If they try anything, we will leave town.” She sighed her conviction. “I’m afraid of what I’d do to them if they came after you. Before…and especially now.” “I wouldn’t let you hurt them.” “You wouldn’t be able to stop me.” Spike exhaled deeply but didn’t try to pretend it otherwise. She had double the strength of him, maybe more. And if he tried to stop her while she was in the fury of protecting her mate, he might get hurt in the crossfire. Then she would never be able to forgive herself. Buffy endured a quiet minute. “They’re going to ask me why.” He looked at her for a few seconds, then nodded. “Yeh.” “I don’t owe them any explanations.” “You don’t,” he agreed, brushing a kiss across her brow. “Do whatever you want, sweetling. It’s your decision. They can’t make you do anythin’.” He paused, then chuckled shortly. “Your Watcher’ll likely grill me on my intentions, yeh? Insist I get myself a steady job an’ a cozy li’l house with a white-picket fence so you can live out the rest of forever as the 50s li’l vampiress.” She laced her fingers through his and shook her head. “He doesn’t have the right to tell you to do anything. Besides…I want to stay here.” “Here?” “Yeah.” “Buffy…this is a sodding hole in the ground—” “It’s home.” “It’s bloody well beneath you.” “But not beneath you, is that it?” Her eyes flashed irritably. “You’ve made this place as much a home for me as anywhere else. I know it’s…yes, it’s in a graveyard. I understand that. I know it’s a crypt, but it’s home. I’ve never felt safer anywhere than I do here. With you.” “It’s a…” Spike frowned. “I don’t understand. I jus’…I always figured you’d wanna move. I jus’…” “I don’t want to move.” “Buffy—” “I don’t want to move. Do you? Do you want to move?” “I want you to be happy, sweets. As long as you’re happy, I don’ give a flyin’ fuck where we live.” “I like it here.” He stifled a chuckle and shook his head. “I jus’ never thought you could ever feel that way about this dump.” “Well, I’m not saying it’s not a fixer-upper, but I do love it here.” She sighed. “Anywhere else, and I’d be pretending to be something that I’m not. We can’t live in an apartment and go to the grocery store or walk along the beach after playing volleyball in the sun. I can’t go back to school, unless I enroll in night classes…but I really don’t see the point in that. We have here what we’ve had for the past week…do you want to change that?” He cupped her cheek tenderly and kissed her lips. “Not for the bloody world.” She grinned. “So we patrol, which is made easy since, hey! Residents of the busiest cemetery in town. And we make with the sexcapades.” “Out here where your screamin’ like a sodding banshee isn’t an issue,” he retorted teasingly. “Hey!” She paused, then flushed and glanced down. “Well, yeah…” “You’re so cute when you’re embarrassed.” “I’m not embarrassed.” “Yeh, you’re jus’ runnin’ an experiment on blushin’ vampires, right?” She made a face at him and thwapped his shoulder playfully. “Jerk.” Spike chuckled appreciatively and seized her arms, rolling her under him before she could get another word out. “Should prob’ly visit your mum firs’,” he said, nibbling on her neck, a hand cupping her breast as his eager, nimble fingers tweaked her nipple. “Make sure she knows you’re okay.” “Don’t be talking about my mother while you’re…doing that.” He pulled back at smirked at her. “Make you feel dirty?” “Now that you mention it.” “So I should stop, huh?” His hand abandoned her breast. “’S such a shame. Here I am, wantin’ to touch you, an’ you’re havin’ to be all stubborn about it.” A pout crossed her face. “Meanie.” “Hey.” He threw his hands up in mock innocence. “Jus’ honorin’ your wishes, pet.” “Well, you can touch me if you want.” “Can I?” She nodded, worrying a lip between her teeth. “Just leave other members of my family out of it. They still think I’m a good girl.” “Uh huh.” “Well, everyone but my mom thinks I’m a good girl.” “Din’t you burn down a school buildin’ once?” “Shut up.” “Oohhh, touchy, are we?” Spike skimmed his teeth over the claim mark on her throat, fingers dancing down her middle until he was cupping the apex of her thighs. “Perhaps I have the remedy for that.” “Oh yes.” “See here. You’re all wet.” He slipped a finger inside her passage, his mouth working up her skin. “Only naughty girls get wet in bed.” “Gah.” Another finger slid inside her. “Very naughty girls.” “Well…” Buffy drew in a sharp breath and arched off the bed, thrusting needily into his hand. “What my family doesn’t know…won’t hurt them.” Spike smiled, his head dipping, laving a wet path around her nipple. “Yeh,” he agreed gutturally. “’S what I thought.” It felt like a thousand years had passed since she stood on her front porch. The feeling had followed her all the way to Revello Drive and had lingered in the back of her mind even when her mother choked a sob and took her into her arms. Sitting in the family room of the home that had been hers for the past five years, feeling strange and displaced, even though seeing her mother provided a different sort of peace that she hadn’t even known was missing. And though that peace was something she sorely needed, the house she had shared with her mother was no longer her house, and she was relieved when they stepped outside again. Joyce’s reaction to almost everything came with a gentle touch of motherly support. She had grabbed and hugged Spike, sobbing her gratitude onto his shoulder for taking care of her little girl. The look of bewildered discomfort that flashed across his face as he looked to her for help was something Buffy would never forget. Spike wasn’t accustomed to being thanked for anything. He hadn’t known how to react to her whenever she expressed her endless appreciation for what he had given her in their short time together, and now with her mother giving him the same treatment, he was charmingly befuddled. After the tearful reunion, Buffy had explained quietly what had transpired over the past few days. What decisions she had arrived at, and most importantly, the nature of her relationship with Spike. And Joyce couldn’t have been happier. She was more than a little irate when told that Angel and Riley had paid them a visit, had muttered some decidedly unpleasant things about Giles under her breath, but overall kept to her joy and gave them both her blessing. With one provision: they were to visit her at least once a week. Something Spike was quick to agree to. By his own admission, he did not want to wake up with an incensed Joyce holding an axe over his head for withholding her daughter from her. That was the easy one. Her mother liked her mate. Her mother was grateful and supportive. Her mother had been avidly against any attempt to remove Buffy from Spike’s care, and planned to have more than a few words with her Watcher at going expressly against her wishes. None of that changed Buffy’s relief to leave her former house. The walls were constrictive, the lights made her eyes hurt, and while her bloodlust was maintained, she spent so much time worrying about her demon that she had refused to grow overly comfortable. Spike squeezed Buffy’s hand, drawing her back to him. They were nearing Giles’s duplex, and she had yet to say a word. “You all right?” “Nervous,” she replied honestly. “I feel that. I meant…you were wound up so tight about seein’ your mum—” “I just…” Buffy wet her lips and shook her head. “It’s hard to explain. Being there…I’m glad I saw her. I’m glad I got that over with.” A shiver raced down her spine. “Is that a horrible thing to say? I love my mother. I just—” “You were worried.” “That she wouldn’t accept me. That she wouldn’t accept you. That…” She ducked her head at his look. “That I couldn’t take being that close to someone…who breathed. That I—” “You’re still worried about the other.” She nodded. Spike squeezed her hand again. “Don’t.” “Don’t?” “Worry. We’re mated now, right?” He smiled softly. “I wouldn’t let you hurt those you love, pet. Not before, an’ definitely not now. Not for the bloody world.” A pause. “You din’t feel it though, did you?” “The bloodlust? No.” Buffy frowned. “That was you, wasn’t it?” He brushed a soft kiss across her forehead. “Bein’ mated has a few advantages.” “So even if we get to Giles’s and he and Xander and everyone want to stake you, you’ll be able to control my need to—” “Well, luv, at that point I think it might be more beneficial to leave before we test jus’ how much control I can filter to your demon. ‘Specially since the claim is less than twenty-four hours old.” A wry grin tickled his lips. “Remember, I might be the experienced vamp here, but neither one of us have been mated before. We’re learnin’ this one together.” Buffy smiled and dropped a kiss across his shoulder. “I can think of worse things.” The duplex was directly ahead. A familiar courtyard, unkempt but strangely beautiful for its rugged façade. The open view into Giles’s front parlor. All her friends were there, as though they had known tonight was the night. As though they had known to come and wait for them. She didn’t feel Angel near. His scent was heavy, but his presence was gone. Riley as well. It was just her friends. No former lovers, scorned with her decisions. Just friends. Why didn’t that ease her apprehension? Spike tugged on her hand gently and turned to look at her. The deep azure of his eyes provided strength and reassurance. It was for him that she was here. He had helped her reach this point. He had stood by her side as she suffered through the transition of leaving her former self behind to embrace the wiser girl that stood with him now. No, not a girl. A woman. She had finally outgrown her childhood. And Spike was the reason. “We’ll stay as long as you want,” he told her. “Be it five minutes or five hours, right?” A grateful, watery smile crossed her face, and she leaned up to kiss his lips. “I love you,” she whispered. “I love you, too.” He pressed his brow to hers and released a shuddering breath. “So bloody much.” Buffy squeezed his hand and kissed him again. Then she was ready. “As long as you want,” he murmured once more as they approached. She didn’t reply; there was no need. In short seconds, they were standing before Giles’s door, and the face of her Watcher was on the other side. His eyes went wide with relief and understanding, sorrow and regret. And they looked at each other for long seconds, saying nothing. Merely accepting each other without words. It didn’t last as long as it felt. A soft smile crossed Giles’s face, and he stepped aside. “Come in, Buffy,” he said softly. She didn’t move. Rather, she glanced to Spike and back to her Watcher. She wasn’t going anywhere until it was understood that her mate went with her. And to his credit, Giles recognized that. There was nothing but understanding behind his eyes. Understanding and acceptance. “Both of you, of course.” He nodded. “Come in.” And that was that. Her mate warmed under her touch. Fingers laced, words and more than words between them, Spike squeezed Buffy’s hand, and they crossed the threshold together. Crossed one threshold, and burnt the first of many bridges. Conclusive Thoughts: Wow. And I mean wow. You guys have been entirely fantastic. Thank you so much for taking the time to read, and in some cases, review or email me pertaining to your thoughts to this story. I had an absolute ball writing it, and I am more than a little sad to see it end. I know a few people are going to be disappointed that I did not delve into the Scooby reaction—that, to me, is another story. I decided to end it the way I did because this part of Buffy and Spike’s journey was complete, and that was all I ever really set out to write. Buffy’s trials through the first stages of demonhood, exploring the things that I believe Whedon set out as the essentials for all vampires, and discovering faith and love amidst pain and wisdom. To have written more would’ve made the story into something else, in my opinion. And I always try to keep a few ends loose…if not for the possibility of returning to a retired plotline, then simply for the knowledge that life is never completely resolved. You’ll notice in the challenge guidelines that Spike was to help Buffy get away from Dracula’s castle, and I interpreted that as help in any way, whether it be his presence or physically grabbing her and running for the door. It was important to me that Buffy make all the important decisions in this story. She chose to go to Spike, because his presence helped her escape. She asked him to hold her their first night together when the boundaries of their relationship had not yet been established. She initiated their kiss at the Bronze in plain view of her friends. And ultimately, she was the one to claim him and make the call when she was ready to face her family. Whether you interpret that decision as ignoring the guideline or trying to bend it constructively is entirely up to you, and I won’t begrudge you if you choose the former. It was simply important to me that Buffy be in control of her destiny instead of relying on others to make her decisions for her, regardless of whether she was aware of it. Thank you all again for your reviews, criticisms, and emails. I am entirely blessed in my readership. Thank you. And a special, extended thank you to Megan, Mari, Kimmie, and Yani for betaing this story for me. You gals are simply the best. Peace, Holly Challenge Guidelines Challenge: 92 at Bloodshedverse In the episode with Dracula, he turns Buffy. Buffy doesn't want to be with Drac but, she can't get away. When Buffy dosen't come back the scoobies go searching for her( with Spike's help of course). They split up and Spike finds her first and helps her get away! Must haves: 1.) biteness 2.) SPUFFY 3.) NO DAWN!!!!!!!!!(unless you can work her in well) 4.) Angel coming to town and getting humilliated! |