| Shades Of Heaven by Holly |
| Chapter #3 - The Sounds Of The Earth Are Like Music |
It was a startled Joyce Summers that calmed her sobbing daughter after being surprised by an unconventional late-night visit. Buffy had turned up on her doorstep, knocking as though she was a stranger, and had all but lunged into her arms, crying about how much she had missed her. How much she loved her. How sorry she was for every little nonexistent disappointment, and how she wouldn’t allow the ever elusive it to ever happen again. That much Joyce just owned up to irrational teenage hormones. It was the presence of Spike that threw her off. Spike looking at her as though she was a ghost, tearing up at the sight of the girl that was supposed to kill him in her mother’s embrace. Spike was in her house, even after the lecture Buffy had given her about vampires the year before. After she had let Spike into her house and treated him with hospitality. Spike was in her house again, only he was different. She couldn’t exactly place why, but he was different. He was looking at Buffy as though she was an angel. As though he was in love. And Buffy was an irrational mess of tears and apologies. Squeezing her uncomfortably tight and wiping erratically at her eyes every few seconds. Half of what she sputtered through her lips was almost assuredly in some language known only to kids of the 90s. However, as any mother, seeing her daughter cry made her cry, and within minutes, they were a threesome of illogical, sobbing fools. For the life of her, she had no idea what had gotten into her daughter. Or why Spike was there. Why Spike cared at all. Why Spike, of all vampires, would be curled around Buffy, crying along with them. There were just too many things that Joyce did not understand. But as she prepared for bed that night, feeling appropriately exhausted after that cry-fest, she felt oddly at peace. Something had changed tonight. Something. She would reserve plenty of time to grill Buffy about the particulars over the weekend. “You okay?” Buffy’s eyes were still red and swollen, but she nodded and snuggled deeper into his side. They were walking the familiar path through Restfield, a cemetery she figured she could navigate well after the world finally ended. “Yeah.” Spike squeezed her hand. “We’ll get her help, baby.” “She probably thinks I’m crazy.” “You weren’ exactly coherent.” “I just saw my mother for the first time in three years.” She shuddered. “I don’t exactly know what I was supposed to be.” “You were jus’ fine, sweetling.” “Except the coherent part.” “Yeh.” He smiled softly and brushed a kiss across her brow. “’Cept that.” “Thank you for taking me there.” “It was your mum. You might never have believed it, but I liked your mum.” He paused. “Plus, she was the only one of your lot that could stand me for more than a few minutes. I saw what losin’ her did to you. ‘F we have even half a chance to save her this time around, you better believe I’ll tear the bloody world apart to do it.” She smiled gratefully. “I know.” He grinned back at her, squeezing her hand lovingly. “So, pet, how we gonna do this?” he asked. “You wanna stay in school, I’m assumin’.” “Yes.” The prospect alone had her insides bubbling. “More than anything.” “An’ us?” “I’m thinking an apartment.” There was a beat of astonishment. He ducked his head shyly. “You want to live with me?” “Ummm…duh?” “I jus’…I…” “You wanna do the claim thingy again sometime, don’t you?” Spike’s eyes glossed over with passion. “Better bloody believe it,” he growled possessively. “Tonight. As soon as we find a bed.” She flashed him a saucy smile. “And you’re sure? You don’t wanna go sacrifice yourself for the world again or run off with an insane vampire woman if she comes back—” “You gotta get over this inferiority complex, sweetling.” “Actually, I have a superiority complex but an inferiority complex about my superiority complex.” “You’re confusin’.” She nodded. “Yeah.” “Still, inferiority complex. There’s no bloody way I’d choose Dru over you.” “You were with her for over a century.” “Yeh. Then I met you an’ that was the end of that.” A wry grin touched his lips. “The slow, long end. But I turned her down for you before you loved me.” He paused. “Long before you loved me.” “Yeah, and look where that got you.” Spike chuckled warmly and tugged her to him, eyes dropping to her mouth. “Yeh,” he murmured. “Got me you. A long bloody time, a lot of pain…some that’s more my fault than yours…but so worth it.” “My fault, and—” “No.” “Yes.” “Buffy—” “It was my fault. I’m not saying you were blameless, but all that was—” “You gotta stop.” He brushed a kiss across her forehead. “’F we’re gonna do this, we’re lettin’ all else go. A claim is forever. You understand that, right?” “Forever.” “As long as I live, you live…an’ vice versa.” A frown marred her face. “I…will I…will you make me—” “A vampire? Yeh, ‘cause I’m a heartless bastard.” Spike shook his head. “No, baby. You’ll remain jus’ as you are. Like this, right now. The Slayer. But you’ll be mated to me. You’ll feel everythin’ I feel, an’ I’ll feel everythin’ you feel. Claims are a way for vamps to form a connection with the one they wanna spend eternity with. ‘S like a marriage…only more. Marriage is what humans turned claims into, but our way is unbreakable.” Buffy licked her lips. “But you’ve already claimed me.” “’F you don’ claim me…’f it goes incomplete, it’ll wear off with time.” Her eyes went wide. “I don’t want that.” “Me neither.” “Spike—” “But are you ready to say you wanna live out what could be eternity?” His brows arched. “’m not sayin’ I’ll make it that long—” “You will.” She wrapped her arms around his throat and tugged his mouth to hers, devouring him in a desperate, hungry kiss. “We’ve both already died twice. I think this time…” “Goin’ at it together’s the secret?” he murmured, brushing his lips sensually over hers. “I think so.” “An’ you’re ready?” He was walking her backward until her back was pressed against a cold, stony surface. How many times had they done this in this very cemetery? In this very spot? How often had he caught her during or after patrol, sent her into a spiraling orgasm, only to devastate her with his eyes when she kicked him in the head and ran home? Not again. “Ready?” “For eternity?” “Yes.” “I’m serious, Buffy. I’d never forgive myself ‘f you—” “Eternity. That’s fine.” She smiled and kissed him. “I can deal.” A humorless chuckle rumbled through his throat. “Sweetness, that’s nice to say an’ all, but—” “I mean it.” “You can bloody deal? I don’—” “Spike.” Her smile broadened and she kissed him again, grasping his forearms and twisting him around so that he was pressed against the mausoleum, and her wandering hands were left free to explore. “Loving you while not…I don’t ever want to go through that again. You weren’t there, and you didn’t believe me when I told you…I never want to go through that again. And if you love me a fraction as much as I love you—” His eyes narrowed at that. “A bleedin’ fraction?” “—I never want you to go through that, either. I don’t want you to…” “’F you die, I die. That’s how the claim works, pet.” “Okay.” “You’re serious.” “As a heart attack.” Her hand wheedled between them, cupping the hardness that was pressed against her stomach. “And for the record…I read up on claims while you were gone.” “You did?” “Yeah.” Her mouth fell against his throat, teeth teasing his skin. Nimble fingers pried his zipper down, a dueled moan rumbling through their throats as his cock sprang into her waiting grasp. “Read up on everything vampirey.” “An’ claims—” “Just didn’t know if it made humans go all bumpy in the forehead region.” She began pumping him tenderly, her eyes dissolving the ecstasy that flashed across his face. There was nothing quite like bringing pleasure to one who felt as fully with himself as Spike did. The slightest touch reduced him to a moany mass of goodness. When she held him intimately, glided her fingers up and down the hard length of his need, he all but melted into her skin. She loved doing this for him—always had, even when she denied herself what she felt. The veracity of what she felt. Feeling him come beneath her touch…there was absolutely nothing like it. “A-an’…” His head fell back against the mausoleum, hips thrusting forward as small whimpers and sighs clawed at his throat. “You want…really?” “Yes.” “God, Buffy…such a hot li’l hand.” Her brows flickered appraisingly. “You think that’s hot.” She pressed a kiss against his neck, then dropped to her knees before him. There was something so illicit about this that gave her the feeling she used to get when the elders glared at her for giggling in church. Not for what she wanted to do; more for the fact that he was fully clothed except for the proud extension of his cock in her hands, and she was in plain view of anyone who happened by. Her tongue swirled around his belled head, and a long, tangled moan tore through the air. “Fuck, Buffy!” he gasped, thrusting against her needily. “So bloody…god, I’ve missed you so much.” “Mmm,” she murmured in agreement, shifting slightly as she took more of him into her mouth. No other man had ever made her feel cherished like Spike did, especially when her mouth was busy bringing him pleasure. His fingers threaded through her hair, massaging her scalp lovingly. “Such a sweet mouth.” She smiled and hummed against his skin, drawing her lips to the tip of him and suckling delicately. Then her mouth dropped, planting a path of wet kisses along the underside of his cock. “You like that?” “God, Buffy.” Her hand squeezed the base of his erection gently. “I’ve missed your taste,” she murmured. A long whimper sputtered through his lips. “I’ve missed you tastin’ me.” She chuckled, and he moaned again at the feel of the vibrations against him. “I’m not going to take you for granted this time,” she said, mouth releasing him with a wet plop, her hand tightening around him in absence of her tongue. “If we’re doing this for the rest of…forever, I’m going to spend every second making up for all the bad.” Spike shook his head, passion halting his speech; his eyes were wide with both protest and astonishment. “Yes.” She licked at his head, her teeth scraping at his skin gently. “Gonna erase all the bad.” His body trembled at that, as though the thought alone was enough to push him over the edge. The fact that she wanted to eradicate their stormy past with a future that would set them apart from the great romantic couples in history, only she was determined that they have an authentic happy ending. And since eternity had no end, she would have to strive for a happy life. After so much hurt, she figured she was entitled. The past eight years had bathed her in enough pain to withstand several lifetimes. The Powers owed her one. They would fight through events and villains they had already defeated, but they would be wise now. Glory would die without building her tower. When Warren started causing trouble, she would phone the police and put his increasingly destructive crime streak to an end. If Willow began to lose herself to magic, she wouldn’t be blind to it. And she wouldn’t let anything come between her and Spike. Ever. There was no one in the world that she felt closer to. It was a million things wrapped in one. His love. His friendship. His loyalty. The potency of how greatly he felt everything around him. And now, when they shared moments of stolen intimacy: the moans that rumbled through his throat, the way he threaded his fingers through her hair, the small thrusts against her mouth, his babbling praises making her blood sing. The head of his cock brushed the back of her throat, and she began swallowing, her hand wheedling further into his slacks to cup his sac. Massaging him tenderly with her fingers as her head bobbed against him. “Fuck!” Spike gasped. “Oh God, Buffy!” “Mmmm…” “’m gonna…oh fuck…’m gonna…” She nodded without removing her mouth from him, and he couldn’t take it anymore. With a passionate growl, his fingers fisted her hair and tugged her against him as he emptied himself into her welcoming throat. He collapsed against the crypt wall, panting harshly, his hand curled lovingly around her head. “God, sweetling…” Buffy licked him clean, wiping at her mouth as she rose to her feet. She smiled at the adoring, awed look he graced her with. “Did you like that?” Spike arched a brow. “Buffy…God, ‘f I haven’t told you a thousand bloody times…” “What? A girl likes to hear it.” He pressed his forehead to hers, thrusting his hips forward slowly so that she could feel his erection between her thighs. Gotta love that vampire stamina. The gentle comfort his arms around her was something she would never again take for granted. There was so much about him that she loved; so many little things to counteract with the whole picture. Things she could accredit to the soul, other things that were constant with the demon and the man as a whole. She had loved him as both; she did. Unlike Angelus and Angel, Spike and, well, Spike were amazingly one and the same. He was the same vampire that could arouse her with a look and ease her with a touch. “I’ve never…with you, I’ve never felt anythin’ with anyone like what I feel with you. I’d say you’re the best I’ve ever had, but that sounds cheap an’ implies that somethin’ else can even begin to measure up. Not bloody possible. Nothing can measure up to you.” He brushed a kiss against the corner of her mouth. “You’re my everything, Buffy. I can’t remember you not bein’. Even in the years before you, I feel like your shadow was there, waitin’ for me to find you. Followin’ Dru from country to country, decade to decade, needin’ you without even knowin’ it.” Tears spilled over her eyes and she shuddered violently. “I’m so sorry.” “For what, baby?” “Everything.” Spike smiled softly and pressed another kiss against her skin. “Sweetheart,” he said quietly, “please…” “I—” “You forgave me for doin’ somethin’ unspeakable to you.” “Yes, but—” “An’ I forgive you. For anythin’ you feel you need to be forgiven for. I don’ want our future to be about our past. You were the worst form of yourself, yeh, but that was hardly your fault. An’ I should’ve had the foresight to put an end to it well before you did…to see it was killin’ you.” His eyes fluttered shut. “You have any idea how much those words…” “Spike—” “It’s over now. I love you, you love me…an’ unless you decide against the claim, we have eternity before us.” “I won’t decide against it.” “’F you do—” “I won’t.” Spike smiled. “’S gonna take a while before I realize this is real,” he said softly. “That you’re really here. I’d convinced myself…” “With my help.” “Buffy…” “The last time I’m gonna say about how terrible I was, I promise.” “Bloody likely.” His brows waggled and he took her in his arms, reversing their positions so that her back was against the mausoleum. “Now…’f you’ll excuse me…” He dropped unceremoniously to his feet. “Spike!” “Your scent’s drivin’ me crazy.” His head ducked under her skirt, a hand coaxing her leg over his shoulder. “Need to taste you.” “Oh God.” “’ve missed your taste, too, sweetling.” She felt his lips against her inner thigh, a finger sliding inside her pussy. “Oh Jesus, you’re so bloody wet.” “Uhhh…” “So tight.” His tongue lapped adroitly at her soft wetness, a moan vibrating against her skin. “You haven’t been with anyone else since…” “No. Only you.” A very still paused spread between them. “You’re not in that body anymore, sweetheart,” he murmured. “I meant…” “Oh. No. There hasn’t been anyone…” He stilled. “But…you mean it. You haven’t been with anyone since me?” She thrust against him needily. “It’s been you for two years,” she gasped. “No one else. Only you.” There was a different wetness against her skin at that, and she edged the fabric of her skirt upward until she could see him. His tears of wonder, the endless love with which he regarded her, the way his hands glided over her skin with trembling awe and reverence. “Even…” “I don’t get over men that easily, Spike.” He huffed and lapped at her delicately. “I don’t get over…men I love…that easily.” He captured her clit between his thumb and forefinger and massaged her softly as his tongue sank inside her. “Mmm,” he murmured into her. “Okay.” “Ohhh…” “That feel good, sweetheart?” She could practically feel his smirk against her wet skin. There were sharp shards of pleasure shooting through her blood, her body waging with her will to give into gravity and collapse on the ground. “You…you just want me to…stroke your…oh yes…your ego.” He hummed his agreement, tongue drawing a long lap up her slit. “An’ when do I not?” “Oh God!” “Fuck, I’ve missed this.” His mouth abandoned her slick passage reluctantly, his fingers slipping inside her before her mewl of complaint touched the air. “Missed how sweet you taste. How hot you get for me.” “God…” “How wet you are when I touch you.” Her hips thrust forward needily. “Spike!” He smiled against her again, thrusting his fingers in and out of her pussy with loving veneration. “Missed feeling your sweet li’l quim squeeze around me,” he cooed. “Missed drinkin’ your honey. Missed your clit.” His tongue curved around her sensitive button, eliciting a sharp gasp from her throat. “Missed that li’l sound you make when I do that.” “Oohhh, Spike.” “Feel good?” “Oh yes. Yes!” Spike purred in approval, his grin broadening. “You taste like wine,” he replied gutturally. “So fucking good. God, Buffy…” “Uhhh…” “You wanna come?” A choked sob ruptured past her lips and she nodded furiously. Her body was burning in that slow, delicious way that only Spike could simultaneously coax and quell. Her hips were driving forward into his hand feverishly as his mouth suckled sweetly at her clit. And then something happened. Something that had never happened before. Pleasure hinted with pain spread through her body; Spike had slid his fangs into her inner thigh. And she exploded into the sort of devastating orgasm that only the vampire against her could provide; the sort of solace she had only reached with him. The outstanding bliss she had only found with him. She felt so cherished under his touch. Felt as safe as she ever had, even with his fangs buried in her skin. This was not about blood. It was love drowned in pleasure, and there was nothing in the world that could even begin to compare to the primitiveness of sensationalism. Spike lapped the blood from the small wound before directing his mouth back to her pussy to lick up her spendings. “Oh God…” “Love your taste, baby,” he murmured. “So bloody sweet.” “Spike…” “So…” But the thought never saw fruition. There was a long pause as a contemplative look fell over his face, then his eyes went wide. “Oh sodding—” “What?” “I—” Too late. She saw what had distracted him the next minute. Willow and Oz had stopped a good twenty feet away, and were staring at her in dumbfounded astonishment. It was like looking through a picture book. She had not noticed her friend as she aged, but being back four years in the past, it was impossible to ignore how the years had affected her. She was ten pounds lighter at least, her hair was short and curly, and there was a buoyancy in her eyes that had died the year that Glory had torn their lives apart. Something that grew dark with her submergence into magic. The innocence that taking lives had robbed from her was intact. And suddenly, Buffy remembered how desperately she loved her friend. How much she had missed talking with her, how she hated herself for allowing their friendship to disintegrate, even if she could never quite forgive her for ripping her out of heaven. Willow hadn’t known. And as a result, Buffy had ignored her when she was silently crying out for help. What had happened that year had changed them all for the worst. Here they were. They had the opportunity to relive it. To change everything. And now pre-gay Willow had caught her with her pants down. Quite literally. “Buffy!” she yelled. “Are you…” Her eyes went wide. “You know, I didn’t know vampires liked to bite you…there.” Spike shot to his feet and adjusted her skirt automatically. “I…uhhh…Red. F-fancy meetin’ you here.” Buffy flushed and grabbed him by the waistband. “Sweetie…” He glanced down and tucked himself back into his jeans. “Ummm…right.” Willow’s skin was roughly the color of her hair, her eyes glued to him in astonishment. “Avert your eyes, missy!” Buffy snapped territorially. And the Witch ducked her head in embarrassment. “’S all right, kitten,” her lover cooed soothingly. “Jus’ breathe.” Spike was equally uneasy, though, despite what he said. His entire body suddenly wracked with nerves. And she read him without having to see his eyes. Without needing to be told what he was thinking. The notion broke her heart. Buffy caught his hand and directed his gaze home. No. There was no way she was going to hide this from anyone. She’d done that once before, and it had nearly killed both of them. Willow, on the other hand, had gone back to staring at the vampire as though she had just noticed who he was. “Spike!” she screamed. “Buffy i-it’s Spike! Spike with the bitey and the grrr! And he…” She frowned. “He was…biting you…down there?” The blonde flushed. “Ummm…yeah.” “’S something of a fetish of mine,” Spike drawled, shrugging. “Gotta love that Slayer musk.” “Spike!” Oz shrugged. “It’s like Angel, only with personality.” The vampire snickered appreciatively. “An’ the not bein’ Angel bit.” “Buffy…” The redhead was studying her as though she as an alien. “You…with Spike…what…I thought you had a date with—” “Yeah. Let me tell you how that was gonna play out. Parker makes with the nice, gets me all with the naked, there’s a big Buffy sobfest when he gives me a brush-off that makes my morning after with Angel look like a scene from Love Story.” She shook her head. “No, I don’t think so.” “How do you—” “Just trust me.” Willow glanced to Spike. “B-but…okay. I’m confused. You think Parker would…so you…with Spike? Have we forgotten the ‘mortal enemy’ part? The part where he’s all…fangy and evil, and haven’t you been there before? Like…last year?” She scowled disapprovingly at the vampire. “Y-you tried to shove a bottle through my face.” “Yeh,” Spike said, nodding. “An’, in retrospect, that wasn’ my best move.” “You…” The redhead’s confused eyes went back to her friend desperately. “Please explain this to me. You’re back on vampires?” “Just one vampire.” She gestured at the peroxide blonde. “This one?!” Spike shrugged easily. “I have a soul now.” There was a long pause. “Okay, Mister, that isn’t even funny.” “No, Will, it’s true.” Buffy shrugged. “Spike has a soul. He went and got his back in Africa.” “They sell souls in Africa?” Oz looked impressed. “I don’t even want to know what they go for on the black market.” “I fought for it.” He glanced down. They weren’t ready for this. They weren’t ready to answer questions about their relationship. They hadn’t decided what they would tell anyone; hell, they hadn’t even talked about it. This night was supposed to be for them, and them alone. “But, umm, what are you guys doing out here?” Willow and Oz exchanged a glance. “You a-asked us to patrol,” the former said. “Because the dateage with Parker…and H-Harmony having a boyfriend?” “Bugger.” “What?” Buffy burst out laughing. The redhead edged back at that, turning to the werewolf in startled confusion. “I-is she a vampire?” she whispered. “No,” he replied. “But she does look abnormally happy.” “Harmony was with Spike,” Buffy retorted. “It’s…god, Will, it’s a long story. A very long…you’re-not-even-gonna-believe-me story. And I can’t get into it now.” She squeezed her lover’s hand. “But I’m…this is…Spike and I are together. And…we have been for a while.” “You what?” “Couple years,” Spike acknowledged with a grin. “Huh?” She turned to Oz again. “Am I crazy?” “I always preferred the term quirky,” he replied with a lazy shrug. “Buffy—” “Long story,” the Slayer said again. “Spike and I are together…I’ll tell you all about it later. Right now…” She turned to the vampire again. “We wanna…go somewhere and…” “Have more sex?” Everyone glanced to Oz, who shrugged again. “Werewolf,” he said, tapping his nose. “Strange Anya-like bloke,” Spike drawled. “Anya? The vengeance demon?” Willow frowned. “Xander’s prom date?” “Long story. Later.” Buffy tugged on Spike’s hand again. “We’re gonna go make with the…” “Shaga-reunion-athon,” the vampire concluded. “We’re off.” He stopped, though, when he noticed the look in the redhead’s eyes. “Trust me, pet…an’ I know that’s not easy. The Slayer’s not steerin’ you wrong. It is a long story…we’re still tryin’ to figure out how we ended up here. But…I’ll bring her back in one piece. Couldn’t stand it if anythin’ happened to her.” “You guys know this sounds…” “Yeah, well, it’s gonna get weirder before it makes sense,” Buffy said. “I’ll come home tonight and talk about it.” Spike pouted at that and kicked at the ground. “And then, you know, leave again.” She curled her arm around her lover’s middle and snuggled into his side. “It’s okay. I just can’t get into it now. We’re still…you’ll understand when I tell you.” The look in Willow’s eyes portrayed a disinclination to agree. But she did not object as the vampire and the Slayer took off like newlyweds. She turned to Oz and released a deep breath. “We can’t tell Xander,” she said. “No, that would not be a good idea.” Buffy, meanwhile, found herself torn from an emotional collapse. “I wasn’t ready for that,” she said, squeezing Spike’s hand. “I…” “We’ll talk it out, sweetling.” “We’re not hiding from anyone.” He smiled at that and brushed a kiss across her brow. “Whatever you want.” But it wasn’t whatever she wanted; it wasn’t solely about her. She was a half of a whole now. Her decisions were Spike’s as well. She wasn’t ready to face the bigotry of the Scoobies. Tonight, she wanted to curl in Spike’s arms. Tonight she wanted to claim him as hers, and disregard the rest. She knew what tomorrow would bring. There were no surprises. Tomorrow, she would have fought Spike in the sunlight. Tomorrow, she would see him walk in the sunlight. He would be her mate, and she his. Her priorities were different now. Everything else could wait. If only a day, she would enjoy her recaptured heaven. And cherish it before the storm. To be continued in Part Four: Cat And The Fiddle… |