Written for the Watcher's Diaries Reverse Art-A-Thon. Inspired by the
wonderfully talented Sandy_S's stunning banner.
Rating: R 18 + (probably at some stage!)
Set in Season 6 somewhere around 'Life Serial' and goes very AR from there.
Author's Note: Thanks go to my wonderful beta AmyB, and to Slaymesoftly for her
helpful suggestions. And of course to my lovely cheer squad who keep me
motivated! lol (you know who you are!!) Thanks guys! **hugs**
A Grain of Sand
By Always_jbj
Chapter 1
Gone!
In a heartbeat. No. Less.
Light pulsed and flashed blindingly. The scent of ozone hung heavily on the air,
and an eerie, high-pitched scream rent the deathly-still night, tearing
painfully at his ears. And then she was gone, as if she had never been there at
all.
“No!”
A ragged cry sounded from somewhere, a painful tormented keening that left the
listener heartbroken. It was long moments before he realised that the
grief-ridden cry was being torn from his own throat.
*****
She had thought that she had known what pain was; after all, pain was all that
she had known since she had been dragged back here to this world. Pain, or
numbness, but nothing in between the extremes; she wasn’t entirely sure which of
the two was worse.
The only time things were bearable was in the dim light and the quiet, soothing
company that she found, ironically enough, in a crypt. That was where she
belonged. With the dead. Only her friends wouldn’t allow her to stay there, no
more so now than when she had been in heaven. If she was gone too long, they
asked questions. If they found her talking to Spike, there were the glares and
the worried looks, the nasty, cruel words spoken when they thought she could not
hear, the spiteful cruelties directed towards the vampire who had fought at
their sides and protected them over the summer months. So she put on a happy
face, tried to make them believe that everything was alright, that she was happy
to have been brought back here—to where everything was hard, and harsh, and a
constant daily struggle.
She couldn’t tell them, couldn’t let them know what they had done; it would
break them, she knew that. It would just cause more pain. And then there would
be more of the sideways glances and the worried looks. No, she couldn’t tell
those who were nearest and dearest to her the truth about where she had been;
the only one she could tell was Spike. He didn’t look at her like he expected
her to ‘get over it;’ he didn’t give her pitying glances when he thought she
wasn’t looking. He was just there for her. He allowed her to be quiet and
still—not pushing her for conversation or asking her to be all right, not asking
her to be… anything. Just allowing her to ‘be’. He offered her peace in a world
of pain.
Now, there was no peace that could be offered, and the pain she had known seemed
meaningless—an empty echo in contrast to the excruciating agony that currently
gripped her.
Gone!
She was gone. In less time than it took to draw a breath, her world was turned
upside down, and she learned the true meaning of pain.
*****
They had been walking through the early evening, Dawn chattering away as usual,
and both of them had smiled indulgently at her enthusiasm. Spike distracted Dawn
whenever her nattering touched upon something a little too raw, a little too
close to the painful wound that Buffy carried in her heart—where she had been
while she was ‘away’ for the summer.
Anyone watching them would have thought they were a happy family out for an
early evening stroll, albeit a stroll through the unlikely setting of one of
Sunnydale’s many cemeteries. And there, in that setting, Buffy knew one of the
moments of almost-happiness that she had experienced so rarely in the weeks
since her resurrection.
For some reason, time spent with Dawn and Spike was like that; it was strange to
her that, amidst the mayhem of Dawn’s relentless noise and boundless energy, she
was still able to find peace. Not that time alone with her sister and her former
enemy was a common event; her friends seemed to feel the need to surround her at
all times. She knew that their actions stemmed from concern, worry, love; she
knew this, but it didn’t make it any easier to bear.
One moment, Dawn had been regaling them with a story about an unfortunate
classmate and a pot of paint in art class that day, her face animated as she
recalled the incident in every minute detail.
In the next, a blinding light had incapacitated them all, a shrieking
high-pitched wail accompanied by the distinctive scent of ozone hanging heavily
on the air. A large red demon had appeared before them; watched through
tear-blurred eyes by her companions, it had snatched Dawn up before either of
them could move and, in yet another light-accompanied scream, had vanished as
quickly as it had appeared, Dawn’s terrified cries for them to help her echoing
plaintively in the still night air.
*****
Spike forced himself to his feet, his ears still ringing from the strange,
siren-like wail, his eyes streaming—whether as an after-effect of the light or
from the grief that filled him at the loss of Dawn, he couldn’t say. He couldn’t
think far beyond the fact that she had been taken, this little girl who had
become, over the last few months, his world, his only reason to continue after
the slayer’s death. He staggered to where Buffy lay, curled tightly in a ball,
her sobs wrenching further at his already aching heart. He knelt, gathering her
into his lap and holding her tightly against his chest as he soothed her gently,
stroking her hair and murmuring quietly. He made meaningless sounds of comfort
until he had succeeded in calming her enough that he was able to break through
the grief that gripped the girl to reach the slayer within.
“C’mon, luv. We need to move, Buffy. Need to find a way to get her back.”
His words cut through the miasma of pain and grief—‘get her back’—and she
latched on to the phrase with all the tenacity and determination of her former
self. The Slayer picked herself up from the ground. “Let’s go,” she said firmly,
drying her tears with a rough swipe of her hand. “We’ll stop by my place and
call the others; my guess is the Magic Box is the best place to meet up.
Whatever we do is probably going to involve hocus pocus of some variety. At
least we know Willow is up to it,” she continued bitterly.
tbc
Chapter 2
By the time everyone had gathered at the Magic Box, Buffy was pacing
frantically, desperate to be on her way in search of the hideous red demon that
had run off with her sister. Spike was sitting quietly on the counter, knowing
better than to get in Buffy’s way while she was like this; he offered responses
to her randomly voiced questions but was otherwise silent. To an outsider the
vampire would have appeared relaxed, the stoic contrast to the Slayer’s
ceaseless motion; to anyone who knew him, however, the tenseness of his jaw, the
ticking muscle in his cheek, the lean muscular body coiled for action, and the
occasional flicker of amber in the deep blue eyes told an entirely different
tale.
As the last of the Scoobies filed into the room, Buffy launched herself into the
details of the evening, with Spike filling in what gaps he could.
“So, there you have it.” Buffy looked at each of them in turn. “Now, how do we
find her and bring her back?”
“From what you’ve described, it appears as though we are talking about a demon
with the ability to transfer across dimensions.” Giles reached for a large tome
amongst the stack of books currently littering the top of the research table.
“There are a few different species with this inherent ability, although they are
remarkably rare. Most fascinating, really,” he mused, looking up from the pages
he was thumbing through. The scholarly enthusiasm in his eyes slowly fizzled and
then died as he caught his slayer’s irritated gaze.
“Just tell me how I go after it,” she demanded.
“What’s this ‘I’ business, pet?” Spike interjected, catching and holding her
eye. “I’m going with you. I told you I’d protect her to the end of the world.
Way I figure it, that means in this universe or any other… makes no difference
to me.”
“You don’t have to, Spike.” Buffy’s voice was quiet; she was thankful for his
offer but was unwilling to drag anyone else into the danger she was bound to be
facing in order to reclaim her sister. If she’s even still alive. The thought
flashed mercilessly across her mind, only to be banished firmly as she clung to
the certainty that whatever this creature had been, it seemed to want Dawn
alive—at least for now. All she knew was that she had to hurry; all this
standing around talking—when all she wanted was to be catching and kicking some
demon butt—was killing her.
“Yes, I do.” Spike spoke slowly, emphasising each word.
They stared silently for a moment, two warriors locked once more in battle,
until one of them backed down. “Thank you, Spike,” Buffy, capitulated
gratefully.
“You’re welcome, luv. But ‘m not doing it for you.” There was no malice in his
words, just simple truth. He would cross universes for the young girl who had
won his heart, the girl who reminded him of his long-lost sister; he had been
unable to protect her from the cruelties of life, but he was determined that he
would not likewise fail Dawn.
Anya frowned thoughtfully. She wasn’t sure that she could make them understand
the futility of their quest, but felt she at least owed them enough that she
should try. “You guys, do you realise what you’re talking about?” All eyes
shifted to focus on the ex-demon as she continued. “If you picture the universe
and all of its dimensions as a beach, a really big beach, then looking for Dawn
would be like looking for a particular grain of sand on that beach. It could
take you a millennia, and even then you still might not find her. What you’re
suggesting is essentially impossible, even with the aid of something like an
Iemlenu amulet.”
“Well, then, I guess we’ll just have to do the impossible.” Spike turned
unwavering blue eyes on the woman at his side, never doubting for a moment that
they would be in accord. “Right, pet?”
Buffy smiled gratefully, allowing herself to take strength from him, from his
confidence and determination. They would find Dawn; of that, she was certain.
“Right,” she affirmed. “I mean, it’s not like the impossible is… impossible.
We’ve done it before; we can…”
“What was that you said, Anya?” Giles interrupted, frowning as he tried to
recall the details of a distant memory that was tugging urgently at his mind.
“That finding Dawn would be like looking for a grain of sand…”
“No, not that. The amulet. You mentioned an amulet.”
*****
Spike scooped the newly-blessed amulet from the counter and handed it to Buffy,
his gaze capturing hers for a moment, conveying silently his support and
encouragement.
Dragging her eyes away from the intensity of his stare she turned to her
friends, offering each in turn a bittersweet smile in lieu of the long speeches
and tight, clinging embraces that she knew they would have preferred. She didn’t
have it in her to offer such comforts, even had they the time. She reached out
and took Spike’s hand, her fingers entwining unhesitatingly with his.
Turning at last to her Watcher, she tried to ignore his suspicion-filled glance
at her companion, and at their intricately joined hands. She tried instead to
focus on the love she felt for the man who was more a father to her than her own
flesh-and-blood father. “We’ll find her, Giles; we’ll be back in no time. You’ll
see.”
Giles swallowed hard, forcing back the tears that threatened at the thought of
losing her again so soon after she had been returned to them. “Yes, I have every
confidence. Of course,” he offered, keeping his gaze firmly fixed on his slayer
and refusing to allow it to wander to the vampire at her side.
“Will, Tara, do you mind?” Buffy asked quietly.
“Buffy, please, can’t you…” Willow’s pleas were cut off as Tara wrapped a
supportive arm around her shoulders.
“She’s my sister, Will. I have to find her. I can’t not try. Please?” Even as
she spoke the words, Buffy didn’t know if her entreaty was for understanding, or
for compliance; maybe it was designed to elicit a little of both.
With a nod, Willow drew herself up, settling her features into a determined
mask, grasping Tara’s hand as they spoke the last of the ritual words in unison.
A faint glow began to form, and the stone warmed within its setting; as the
chanting continued, the glow grew steadily stronger, until the light pouring
from the amulet was unbearable to watch. Just as Buffy began to fear that the
stone would crack, that their only chance to find Dawn would be lost forever,
the blinding light blinked out, leaving only the faintest trace of its
luminosity trapped deeply within the enchanted amber of the Iemlenu amulet.
Tightening her fingers around the vampire’s, she settled the amulet around her
neck; grasping the stone firmly in her free hand, she spoke the words they had
both practiced. She looked up in time to mouth a quick “thank you” to her
friends before the world was spinning around her a bright, blinding flash, the
air thick with the scent of ozone. Then darkness engulfed her as the world
disappeared, the firm, steadying grip of Spike’s hand in hers and a deep
penetrating coldness that seemed to settle in her bones the only sensations she
could discern.
tbc
Chapter 3
The amulet was very closely related to those used by vengeance demons; where
theirs were aligned to hone in on and guide the wearer towards pain in keeping
with the individual’s specialty, however, the Iemlenu was aligned to pinpoint an
individual’s signature. Anya had explained to her captivated audience how each
individual being had its own unique signature, or aura if you will, and that no
other being in any of the multitudinous number of worlds and dimensions carried
the same signature. Even doppelgangers, did not share a signature, given that
each was an individual life-form capable of existing independently of the other.
Creating the amulet had not been particularly difficult; it had, however,
required that several hours of rituals and blessings be performed on the
recipient stone, hours that had tried Buffy’s and Spike’s patience almost beyond
the limit. The ritual had required some of Dawn’s hair; retrieving her hairbrush
from the Summers’ house had at least given them an excuse to escape for a while
and burn off some of the edginess that the seemingly overlong delay was
producing.
Whilst Anya and the two witches had worked on the amber, Buffy and Spike had
memorised the words required to activate the amulet. Once they were both decreed
to be adequately proficient, they had poured over the books with Giles and
Xander, trying unsuccessfully to find the demon responsible for kidnapping the
Slayer’s sister.
Giles had explained to them both that the different dimensions they could visit
may well be as alike to their own as walking outside the door at that moment, or
as different as waking to find themselves in the middle of the Sahara. At his
words, Buffy had expressed concern that they could possibly find themselves
without shelter from the sun; as her travelling companion tended to barbeque a
little in the sunlight, that was a situation she wanted to avoid at all costs.
“There must be a spell, like a magical umbrella or something?” she offered
weakly, concern creasing her features as she looked at Spike. “Please, Giles,
there has to be a way to make sure that Spike is safe from the sun. If only
Angel hadn’t destroyed that ring.” The last was mumbled quietly to herself, and
none but preternaturally enhanced ears could have made out her words. Spike had
smiled silently to himself, basking in the knowledge that she would even
consider allowing him the use of something as powerful as the Gem of Amara,
especially seeing as it had once been such a source of contention between them.
Granted, at the time, he had been making use of its power to try to kill her.
Giles spoke quickly as Buffy drew breath to continue her tirade. “There is no
need,” he assured her. “My research shows that Spike will be perfectly safe in
the sunlight of any dimension but our own.”
“Research?” Buffy looked quizzically at her watcher. “You have research on
this?”
Giles gave her a small, discomfited smile. “While you were… what I mean to say…”
“Giles, it’s ok, you can say it you know. While I was dead. Yeah, ok… what?”
“Yes, indeed. While you were—dead—I found research to be a somewhat welcome
distraction.”
“Ok, I get that. But why this? I mean, there are lots of things you could
research, so why this particular thing?” She shrugged her shoulders. “Just seems
like an odd thing to be doing research on, you know?”
“Oh, yes, I see.” Giles’ eyes lit up as he warmed to his topic. “It seems that
Angel and his co-workers had occasion to visit an alternate dimension in the
weeks before you… passed. Willow mentioned to me in passing that, while in this
dimension, Angel had been unaffected by sunlight. I found it interesting enough
to delve further into the reasons. From what I gather, it has something to do
with the molecular structure of the vampire in question, in much the same way
that amulet knows the difference between our Dawn and any other dimension’s
Dawn. The sun from the vampire’s own dimension is, in fact, the only one that
will adversely affect it.”
“So you’re saying I’ll be able to stand in the sun in these other dimensions?”
Spike asked, tentatively, a wistful look on his face.
“Yes, that is precisely what I am saying.” Giles frowned as he answered Spike.
“That does not, however, mean that any of your other—vulnerabilities—will be
removed; a good stake to the heart will still cause you to become dust. I
suggest you remember that.”
“Giles!” Buffy admonished. “What was that all about?!”
“I don’t trust him, Buffy, and I would feel considerably better about this if
you were not taking a renowned killer with you.”
“Oi!” Spike complained indignantly. “’s been a bloody long time since I have
made any sort of move to hurt Buffy, or any of you lot for that matter.”
“Giles, you know Spike wouldn’t hurt me. He’s been working with you guys all
summer. And looking after Dawn. How could you say that?! Besides, would you
prefer I went alone? Spike is strong, and we fight well together.”
Giles gave a long, defeated sigh. “No, I don’t suppose that I would prefer that
you go alone. I just... well, I worry.”
“I know that, but you don’t have to. I know Spike has my back. I’ll be fine,”
Buffy assured him. “We’ll be fine,” she added firmly.
They had spent some time packing a backpack for each of them. Several stakes and
other easily concealed and transportable weapons, as well as food and a change
of clothing filled Buffy’s pack; into Spike’s went additional weapons, several
bags of blood, and he had thrown in some extra food for Buffy. After that, it
had simply been a matter of trying to be patient until the rituals were
completed, ignoring the barely-veiled insults Xander aimed at Spike whenever the
opportunity arose, and not allowing themselves to give in to the almost
overwhelming fear that gripped each of them whenever they allowed themselves to
dwell on Dawn’s possible fate.
Finally, the time had come for them to be on their way.
tbc
Chapter 4
The world came rushing back to them, dizzyingly, causing in them a vertigo much
like that which comes from looking over a steep cliff or down from the roof of a
very tall building. Buffy stumbled slightly as sensation returned; Spike
tightened his grip on their linked hands even as he turned to face her, reaching
out to steady her with the other.
Looking around they quickly recognised their location; they weren’t far from
Spike’s crypt in Restfield Cemetery.
“Well, at least we don’t seem to have gone far,” Spike commented.
“Great, all that and we end up here.” Buffy looked around them, “Home sweet
home.” Her brow creased, “But why would he bring Dawn back to the cemetery?” she
mused quietly.
“Don’ know, luv. My guess is we’ll find that out when we find the Nibblet.”
Gazing up at the clear night sky he added, “Stars are different, though; more
like early spring than mid-autumn.”
Buffy stared sceptically at him. “Ok, see… now, you’re scaring me.”
Spike laughed. “Knowin’ the position of stars in the sky is just second nature,
pet. Guess I’m showing my age, yeah?” he asked, his laughter faded to an
uncertain smile.
It was Buffy’s turn to laugh when she saw his uncertainty. “Yeah, you are. But
you know,” she continued, running her eyes appraisingly up and down his body,
“you look pretty good for someone who’s, like, ancient,” she teased in an
attempt to lighten the mood and put paid her companion’s sudden insecurity.
“Ancient, am I?” Spike growled. “I’ll show you ancient, little girl.” He lunged
for her, fingers wiggling as he threatened to tickle her, and she squeaked and
made to run off only to be captured and pinned tightly against a hard, muscular
chest. “Looks like I caught myself a slayer,” he purred against her ear. “What
should I do with her, I wonder?” His agile fingers worked teasingly across her
vulnerable ribs, tickling slightly and threatening further retribution.
“Don’t. No, Spike, lemme go!” Buffy giggled helplessly. “’kay, you win. You’re
not ancient. Now, please, Spike, lemme go!” she begged through her laughter. She
may have supernatural strength, and be Chosen to save the world from all that is
evil; despite all of that, however, Buffy was incredibly, unbearably,
debilitatingly ticklish.
Spike released her, his hands skimming lightly down her waist to her hips as he
reluctantly dropped his hands. The happy smile faded from his lips as he
recalled the reason for their current situation. “Right, luv. Best we see about
trying to find the Nibblet, yeah?”
Buffy sobered instantly, the brief moment of enjoyment quickly brushed aside for
more pressing matters. “Yeah, I just... don’t know how. I mean, I kinda figured
we’d pop in wherever she was. I guess it’s not going to be that easy, but then
again, when is it ever? D’you have any ideas?” she asked hopefully.
Spike closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, searching for Dawn’s scent on the
crisp, cool night air. A faint trace of her, clearly recognisable despite its
weakness, tickled his nostrils. “This way,” he indicated, setting off in the
direction in which his keen vampire senses told him his charge lay.
They set off through the cemetery towards the industrial side of town, with
Spike pausing every now and then to test the air and make certain they were
still on the right track.
As they left the grounds by a rarely-used side gate, a slight disturbance in the
air—just the faintest hum and a warning prickle along the back of her
neck—caught Buffy’s attention; in an instant, she reached out, grabbing Spike
and pulling him towards her as the crossbow bolt flew with a sickening whirr
through the space his heart had occupied only seconds before.
The vampire and the Slayer quickly adopted fighting stances, covering each
other’s backs as their eyes scoured the shadows for their attacker.
Buffy’s voice came to them from the darkness below the left hand wall. “Don’t
move.” The command was barked sharply in a voice slightly rougher and harsher
than Buffy’s own. A figure stepped into the moonlight; the woman before them was
clearly Buffy Summers, although a much leaner, more muscular version. This
version was certainly absent the more prom queen of Buffy’s tendencies; her hair
was tied back tightly, and her face was pinched into what appeared by the deeply
etched lines to be a permanent scowl of displeasure.
“Spike,” she stated, her voice flat, devoid of emotion as she held the crossbow
levelled at the vampire’s heart. With one hand she reached into the pocket of
her jacket, fishing out a cigarette and placing it in her mouth before reaching
once more for the lighter. She took a long, slow draw on the cigarette,
releasing her breath in a cloud of smoke as she continued. “Now, I know I dusted
you years ago. So, would you like to explain to me how it is that you came to be
here, in my town, again? And what’s with the slayer-wannabee vampette?” she
sneered as a parting shot.
“Vampette? Slayer-wannabee?” Buffy glared indignantly at her doppelganger, “Why,
you cheap knock-off...”
“Easy, Slayer,” Spike interrupted, his words directed at his slayer while his
eyes never left the other. “Looks like we’ve got ourselves a bit of a situation
here, pet. An’ somehow I don’ think you’re gonna be helping matters going off
all slayer-on-a-mission. How’s ‘bout we all just take a deep breath, an’ start
again, yeah?”
“You don’t breathe, fang-face. Remember?” the less-friendly Buffy snapped.
Taking a long, steadying breath, Buffy conceded that Spike was probably right;
there was no point in escalating the situation any further. “Look,” she reasoned
with her counterpart, “this isn’t your Spike. He’s not from here; we’re not from
here. We’re from another dimension. This big, ugly, dimension-skipping demon
kidnapped Dawn, and we’re just trying to get her back, ‘kay? So you know, how
bout a little less of the John Wayne routine? Just let us get on with the whole
rescue thing.”
“John Wayne used guns, pet, not arrows. Now if you’d said Ton…”
“Spike! So not helping here!” Buffy snapped, cutting him off sharply.
“’m just saying,” the vampire mumbled sulkily.
“Ok. That’s enough,” the other slayer growled, raising the crossbow further.
“You seriously expect me to buy this dumb and dumber routine?”
“Ok, I have so had it with you and your insults,” Buffy shot back, grabbing
Spike’s arm and, in a furious burst of speed, slinging him into the shadows and
out of the crossbow’s deadly sights. That accomplished, she flung herself
sideways as the deadly bolt whistled past; recovering quickly, she threw herself
into the fray.
The first blows were exchanged in a blinding flurry of motion: punch, block, and
kick, repeat, mix up the combination and start again. The two slayers were
seemingly evenly matched as they sized each other up, each searching for a
weakness, some kind of opening that would give her the advantage over her
sister-slayer.
Buffy’s came in the form of one mightily pissed-off blonde vampire. Blue eyes
that of late had shone with tenderness or danced with barely suppressed mirth
were instead hard and cold as he moved silently, intently, easily closing on the
two combatants as they concentrated fully on battling each other. His Buffy
landed a kick that had the other slayer spinning, staggering towards him as she
attempted to recover from the blow. With all the speed and agility of the deadly
predator that he was, he struck.
“Spike, no! The chip!” Buffy’s warning came too late, leaving her to watch in
horror as Spike’s fist connected with her double’s cheek. To both her surprise
and the vampire’s, the anticipated pain did not eventuate. With a resounding
roar, Spike smashed his fist once more into the other slayer’s face, a satisfied
smirk firmly in place as her knees buckled and she slumped, unconscious, to the
ground.
tbc
Chapter 5
Spike turned, grinning smugly, to face Buffy. “Well, that was…” His words
trailed off as he caught the look on her face, her eyes wide and horrified as
she looked back and forth between him and the unconscious slayer on the ground.
“Buffy? Pet?” He took a step towards her, his extended hand dropping as she took
a hesitant half-step backwards; his smile melted, his eyes filling with
confusion and hurt before blazing with anger.
“Right. So that’s how it is, eh? What—do you think I’m gonna rip your bleedin’
throat out now? Is that it?” Pain and anger coloured his tones in equal measure
as he glared furiously at the girl before him. How could she think he would hurt
her?
“Spike. No.” Buffy shook off the sudden fear that had gripped her as she watched
William the Bloody, Slayer of Slayers, take down—well—her. “I’m sorry… I know
you’re not going to… I just… it was a shock, that’s all.” She stepped quickly
forward, closing the distance between them and placing her hand gently on his
arm, willing him to accept her apology. “How long has it been?” she asked
quietly.
“How long has what been?” Spike snapped, pulling away from her roughly as he
stubbornly refused to understand her question.
Buffy swallowed hard; she had really hurt him, she knew that, but she wasn’t
quite sure how to make things all right between them again. “How long has the
chip not been working?” she clarified.
With an exasperated sigh, Spike squatted next to the fallen slayer; after
rifling through her pockets for a few moments, he came up with several
stakes—which he cast aside—and a pack of cigarettes. Lighting one and settling
himself more comfortably, he answered, “I don’t know. Didn’t know it had bloody
well stopped working. Figured taking out Miss GI Slayer here was worth the
headache. I was as surprised as you were that it didn’t go off.” He looked up at
his slayer. “I’m not plannin’ on going out on some kinda killing rampage, if
that’s what you’re thinkin’.” He paused to take another long drag on the
cigarette before continuing quietly. “That’s not me anymore. Thought you knew
that,” he added sulkily.
“I do, Spike.” She sank to the ground beside him, once more placing her hand on
his arm and waiting until he looked at her, earnest green eyes capturing and
holding his hurt blue ones. “I really do, and I am sorry. It was just… for a
moment, I remembered how really scary you can be.” She smiled softly at him,
hoping that he would listen to her and that she could muster the words to undo
at least some of the harm she had done.
Buffy watched in amazement as a cocky smile spread across the mercurial
vampire’s face, the hurt in his eyes replaced by a twinkling mischievousness.
“’m scary!?” he asked with a smirk.
Buffy rolled her eyes; only Spike would take being called scary as a compliment.
“Yes, Spike, you’re scary. And don’t try to pretend you don’t know it!”
The conversation was interrupted by the stirring of Buffy’s counterpart; the
slight movement, the indrawn hiss of breath as the insentient girl began her
journey back towards consciousness reminding them that they had a situation
requiring their full attention.
“So, what d’you want to be doin’ with her?” Spike asked, climbing quickly to his
feet and offering Buffy a hand.
“I don’t know.” Buffy took the proffered hand and allowed Spike to help her to
her feet, grateful that she had so easily, if somewhat unintentionally, found
the right words to ease the pain she had caused. “I just want to find Dawn,” she
sighed resignedly. “But I guess if we can somehow convince her to help us, we’d
stand a better chance of beating Mr Big Ugly.”
Spike frowned, not sure that convincing this slayer to help them was going to be
all that easy. Stooping, he quickly removed the unconscious slayer’s belt and
set to work; rolling her onto her side, he looped the belt around first one
wrist and then the other. Checking that it was firm enough to restrain without
constricting the blood flow to her hands, he then threaded the remaining belt
through the girl’s rear belt-loops, tying her hands securely to her own pants.
“Right then,” he said as he stood and looked at Buffy, “you better give her a
good check over for any less obvious weapons.” He turned away, lighting another
smoke and surveying the darkness as Buffy carefully checked the other girl for
concealed weapons.
“Ok, done,” Buffy announced, holding up two more stakes and a small knife for
Spike’s inspection as he turned once more to face her.
Spike discarded the half-smoked cigarette and moved to gather the now softly
moaning girl in his arms. He carried her over to the wall and settled her gently
against the rough brick. Brushing a few stray strands of hair away from her face
and tucking them neatly behind her ear, he surveyed the large purple welt
marring her cheek and muttered quietly, “’m sorry, luv.”
They didn’t have long to wait for the downed slayer to regain consciousness;
once she had, they watched dispassionately as she struggled furiously against
her bonds, snarling angrily when she realised that she couldn’t escape them.
“Are you done now?” Buffy asked calmly. The only answer she received was a
scathing look of hatred.
With a sigh, Buffy continued. “Look, we didn’t ask for you to go all
damage-bound on us, so stop making out like you’re the wronged party here. All I
want… all we want,” she clarified, waving her arm to indicate the impatiently
glowering vampire, “is a few answers and then, as long as you promise to let us
get on with finding Dawn, we’ll let you go and no one is the worse for it, ‘kay?”
A grudgingly-given terse nod was her only answer; Buffy smiled tightly,
exhaustion and worry beginning to take their toll. “First,” she began, some of
the pent-up anger and frustration she had been feeling since Dawn’s kidnapping
seeping into her voice, “where the hell do you get off attacking us like that?
What, you see another you and the first thing you think is kill!? No hey, gee, I
wonder what that is all about? Or That’s interesting. She looks just like me?
Just… Kill!? I mean, my Giles would have a fit if another me showed up and I
just straight out killed it—her. He’d be all ‘scientific discovery’ this and
‘research possibility’ that. I wouldn’t hear the end of it for weeks.”
“Giles?” The captive slayer spoke the name quietly, her voice shaking and her
face momentarily haunted before the cold, hard shields of bitterness and anger
were once again in place. “Giles is dead,” she shot back angrily.
“Dead?” Buffy’s bottom lip trembled fractionally at the thought of her
Watcher—her friend, instructor and, more importantly, father figure—being dead.
“How?”
“Does it matter?” The other girl’s face closed off even more as she ground out
her bitter response.
“Where are the Scoobies?” Buffy inquired more gently, changing the subject,
trying to somehow break through the angry shields her counterpart had erected.
“Who?”
“My friends. Your friends here, I guess… you know, Willow, Xander…”
“Oh, them. They’re around, I guess. I run into them sometimes,” she answered
dismissively.
“Oh.” Buffy fell silent; although she hadn’t been able to let go of her
hostility towards her friends just yet, she couldn’t imagine her life without
them in it. If she was brutally honest, sometimes they were downright self-centred,
but they were always there for her when it really mattered… no matter what. She
looked up at yet another of her friends and, swallowing hard, she asked the
question that she had been putting off. “And Spike?”
The other slayer sneered, her eyes narrowing as she was reminded once more of
the vampire’s presence. “Dust,” she answered coldly.
“Yeah, think we got that much earlier, princess,” Spike interjected snarkily. “I
think what the Slayer is askin’ you for is a few more details. Isn’t that right,
luv?” He turned to Buffy, a cocky smile still firmly in place as he placed
himself in the line of sight between the two girls. He listened to Buffy’s heart
pounding wildly in her chest and silently willed her to regain control of her
emotions; the last thing they needed was for this hard-arsed bitch to realise
just how much her words were affecting her counterpart. Buffy offered him a
tentative smile and a short discreet nod, both indicating her gratitude and
acknowledging the reason for his intervention.
Safe in the knowledge that his slayer was quickly pulling herself together,
Spike turned back to the other, far more bitchy version. “A little help from
you, an’ we’ll be on our way. You won’t have to be seeing us again. An’ we won’t
be having to put up with your delightful company any longer than we have to.”
“And why would I help you?” the girl on the ground retorted bitterly.
“Maybe because it’s your job, pet. You know, sacred calling an’ all that. ‘s not
like we’re askin’ you to help us tumble a Red Cross van or rob a soddin’ bank.
We’re talking about rescuing your sister.”
“Sister? I don’t have a sister.” Allowing her aggression levels to drop from
murderous to just plain antagonistic for the first time since encountering the
dimension-hopping pair, the downed slayer frowned bemusedly at her counterpart.
“You have a sister?”
“Yeah, I do. And I could do with your help if I’m gonna get her back.”
tbc
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