Beyond Forever

by Ashlee

A/N Angel doesn’t have a soul and never came to Sunnydale. This story
takes place at the beginning of season two.

Prologue

“Bye, Kim!” Buffy called, waving good-bye to her friend outside the movie
theater. “I’ll see you next time I’m in town.”

“Bye, Buffy!”

Buffy turned as the car turned a corner, closing her eyes as the warm night
air seemed to wrap around her, calming her oversensitive need to patrol.
She was supposed to be leaving for Sunnydale in the morning, and she couldn’t
wait to get back to Willow and Xander. Seeing her friends in Los Angeles
was always nice for a day or two, but Buffy was rapidly tiring of the city.
She missed the warmth and the comforting environment that Sunnydale seemed to provide.

Buffy began the long walk to her father’s. She had insisted that she was
perfectly safe, declining the ride that Kimberly had offered. Even though
she wasn’t on the Hellmouth, Buffy still felt like she was neglecting her
patrolling duties and wanted to make a quick pass of the area as she walked.

“Sacred duty, yada yada,” Buffy murmured as she wandered through the streets of L.A. After twenty minutes and no vampires in sight, Buffy headed in a more direct path to her father’s.

The streets were surprisingly empty for such a beautiful night, and although
the stars couldn’t be seen in the cloudy sky, the moon shown through, bathing
the area in a soft silver-blue tint.

Buffy’s head snapped around at the noise behind her. She let her eyes focus
in the darkened alley as she slowly turned, approaching the entrance to the
alley before coming to a stop when two figures advanced on her. Buffy felt
as if she was being stalked by predators, which was exactly what was
happening, as she subtly reached for the stake tucked in the pocket of her
lightweight jacket.

“Look at the merry little sunshine.”

Buffy’s brow furrowed as the sound of the dreamlike voice drifted toward
her.

“She doesn’t know what’s coming,” the woman continued, slowly stepping out
of the shadows. Buffy stared at the beautiful woman, feeling on edge as she
waited for some sort of attack. “She thinks she’s the strong one…she has no
idea what she’s about to face.”

“Why don’t we drop the cryptic,” Buffy said impatiently with a raised
eyebrow. “I’m ready to go home.”

While Buffy’s attention was focused on the woman, she kept an eye on the
other vampire, even though it was apparent that he was a fledgling.

“You’re covered in power,” the brunette said in a low voice. “Just a little
girl.”

Buffy sighed, rolling her eyes as she brought the stake out of her pocket.
“Okay, I’ve had enough, and frankly…you’re really starting to bore me.”

Although she’d been expecting it, Buffy was still mildly surprised when the
woman struck out at her. She narrowly avoided getting her throat slit by
one of the razor-sharp fingernails as she threw herself backwards.

“Sunshine doesn’t want to play,” she said, advancing on Buffy once more.

“Oh, I’ll play,” Buffy replied, landing a solid kick to her ribs. She was
expecting a retaliating blow, but nothing prepared her for the pain that
sliced through her stomach, making her feel vulnerable as she doubled over
in agony.

Standing up straight and ignoring the pain for the briefest of moments,
Buffy let out a yell as she hurled the stake through the air, landing with a
solid crack in the chest of the vampiress. Buffy watched, clutching her
stomach, as the woman exploded into dust before turning her hardened eyes on the other vampire.

She felt relief flood through her as he turned and ran away, his footfalls
descending into the night. Under normal circumstances, Buffy could have
dispatched him with ease, but that was before the pain that seemed to lance
through her body. Raising her shredded shirt, she looked at the damage that
had been inflicted on her abdomen. A deep gash started underneath the swell
of her left breast to carve diagonally to her right hip. Buffy pressed her
shirt to the wounded area, applying pressure as she tried to stop the blood
flow that seemed to be pooling out of her.

Buffy closed her eyes as she bit her lip, trying to will the pain to go
away. She was definitely no match for anyone else tonight.

* * * * *

Spike looked up with a bored expression as one of his underlings practically
came flying through the door of the warehouse.

“Master,” the young man gasped, keeping a safe distance from Spike.

Spike took a step closer to him, narrowing his eyes. “You’re supposed to be
hunting with Drusilla.”

“Sire…she…”

“Where is she?” Spike growled, closing in on him.

“She’s dead, Sire.”

Spike felt his body go rigid. “What do you mean, she’s dead?” Spike asked
through clenched teeth. “You were supposed to keep her safe.”

“I’m sorry, Master. It was the Slayer…she was too strong. They fought, and
the Slayer won.”

Spike roared as he grabbed each side of the vampire’s head, pulling it off
with a sharp twist and letting the dust settle on the floor before turning
flashing eyes to the rest of his minions. “Find out everything you can
about the Slayer. No one gets near her,” he commanded. “I will be the one
to make the kill.”

Chapter 1

Buffy walked slowly, a specific goal in mind. She had arrived in Sunnydale
a couple of days ago, and school would be starting the next day. She was
already late meeting Xander and Willow at the Bronze, but she couldn’t seem
to help herself.

Coming to a stop underneath a tree, Buffy stared down at the simple dirt
grave, lined with crosses. The Master was buried under there, and despite the
fact that she had been the one to send him there, she still felt a chill
race down her spine. He had killed her. He had marked her, and she hated
it.

She stared at the grave a moment longer. To the casual observer, she might
have looked like a woman trying to pay her respects or mourning a loved one.
In actuality, tears streamed down her face because of the weak feeling
that seemed to overpower her. She still wasn’t at full strength because of
the slash that ran across her ribs, but for some reason, the powerlessness
came from thinking about the night she died.

The inadequacy she felt for herself was almost uncontrollable. She had
barely patrolled all summer, not to give herself a break, but because she
wasn’t sure about her strengths anymore. Everyone had tried to tell her
that The Master had been different. He had been cunning enough to survive
as long as he had, and he obviously knew things that a sixteen year old
wouldn’t know. Buffy wasn’t buying it.

Straightening her black dress, Buffy wrapped her arms around her body, turning
and walking slowly in the direction of the Bronze. The night air was cool
for this time of year and did its part to calm Buffy’s nerves. She could
see the alley leading to the club ahead and quickly dried her eyes, not
wanting to worry her friends.

Hearing a noise, Buffy turned to see two vampires behind her. Going into
fighting stance, Buffy realized her ‘spidey sense’ hadn’t been working
lately.

Easily staking the first vampire, the other one landed a solid kick to her
stomach, causing Buffy to double over in pain as her wound protested.
Gasping for breath, she stood, holding her stomach with one hand and
delivering a solid right hook with the other. Grabbing a crate, Buffy threw
it against the wall, splintering the wood as she grabbed her makeshift stake
and plunged it into the second unbeating heart.

Panting, she slid down the brick wall, clutching at her stomach and trying
to will the fresh pain to go away. Pulling her hand away, she looked at her
skin, now stained red as the blood seeped through her dress.

“Damn it,” she cried, letting her head fall back to the wall. She knew she
would have to go in the club and clean herself up. If she walked home in
this condition, the Slayer part of her blood would call to every vampire in the area.

Painfully pulling herself to her feet, Buffy turned and entered the Bronze,
making her way to the bathroom as quickly as she could.

* * * * *

Golden eyes watched with interest as the Slayer practically collapsed onto
the ground, clutching her stomach. The scent of blood filled his nostrils, calling to him
as she pulled her hand away from her body. He could see her shaking, even
from this distance as she cried out, throwing her head against the bricks.

Spike watched as she pulled herself up and walked into the club, letting his
human visage come over him before following.

* * * * *

“Hey, guys,” Buffy said with false cheerfulness as she approached her
friends. “Sorry I’m late.”

“Vampire?” Willow asked softly.

“Times two,” Buffy replied.

“Are you okay, Buff?” Xander asked in concern.

“I’ll be fine,” Buffy said with a playful flip of her hair. “Let’s dance,”
she said with a bright smile, pulling her friends to their feet and dragging
them onto the dance floor.

Buffy was grateful for the darkened club. She had cleaned her wound as best
she could, drying her dress, but she knew that she shouldn’t stay long.
Moving with the music was already aggravating it again.

Buffy sighed when a slow song began to play. “You two dance,” she called to
Willow and Xander over the music. “I’ll go get a drink.”

She caught the subtle smile that Willow gave her and smiled back before
turning away. She made it about three steps before crashing into what felt
like a wall as two strong hands grabbed her arms. Looking up, she stared
into the clearest blue eyes she’d ever seen. They seemed to penetrate
through her own as her lips parted in appreciation.

Spike stared at the girl. ‘So, this is the Slayer,’ he thought with a smirk
as he looked at her closely for the first time. Her blonde hair fell to her
shoulders in soft waves. Her skin seemed to glow, and her eyes flashed from
hazel to a deeper green as she stared at him. Spike could smell the dried
blood on her clothes, though the black material did a good job of
camouflaging it. It seemed to beckon to him as he held onto her.

“Care to dance, pet?”

Buffy nearly melted, hearing the British accent that rolled over her in
waves. “O-okay,” she said softly, hating herself for the nervous stutter in
her voice.

She felt her breath catch as his arms wrapped around her small waist,
pulling her securely to his body as her hands slid up the black leather
sleeves of his duster and loosely held onto his shoulders.

Buffy felt slightly insecure as his eyes seemed to study her. She found
herself looking everywhere but at him.

Spike could feel the nervousness that flowed from her. He had to smile at
the fact that the Slayer could face any number of demons and monsters, but
faced with a simple dance with someone she assumed was a regular guy, she
tensed up.

The couple moved together fluidly, as if they were made for each other.
Spike found himself briefly losing sight of the reason he was in this town
as he wondered how they would move together in a different setting.

Shaking himself free of the disturbing thoughts, Spike bent his head,
angling himself so his lips were lightly brushing against her hair. “Why
don’t we step outside, luv,” he whispered softly.

Buffy closed her eyes, swallowing hard as she felt her breathing becoming
labored. She didn’t trust her voice as she nodded. Turning away, she could
feel his hand on the small of her back as he led her toward the exit. Buffy
smiled at Willow who gave her a curious look before she returned the smile,
mouthing ‘call me’ to Buffy.

Spike led the Slayer into the darkened alley, advancing on her as she backed
into the wall.

“Now, pet,” he whispered, his lips coming closer to hers but never making
contact. “You should know better than going outside with a strange man.”

“I can handle myself,” Buffy replied, her nerves setting her slightly on
edge at the tone of his voice.

“I have no doubt,” he said with a smirk.

Spike slowly bent forward, bypassing her mouth as his lips found her neck
and left a soft kiss close to the jugular. He was only testing her, and she
was failing miserably. He would have thought the Slayer that was able to
kill the Master wouldn’t be this susceptible, even if he was a master
vampire in his own right.

Deciding to up the stakes, Spike let his demon flash across his face for the
briefest of seconds, smiling when she gasped, shoving him away from her.

Spike chuckled as he stopped himself a few paces away, watching as she moved from the wall. “So, you’re the Slayer,” he commented with a smirk. “Tiny
little thing, aren’t you?” Spike stared at her as she seemed to tense up
even more. “Don’t worry, luv. If I wanted to kill you tonight, you’d
already be dead. I plan on fighting to the death, not killing you before
you knew what happened.” Buffy shivered at the tone of his voice before he
continued. “You should be more careful. I wouldn’t want you to meet an
untimely death…unless it’s at my hands, of course.”

“Who are you?” she asked softly.

Spike smiled, biting his bottom lip as he narrowed his eyes on her. “Why do
you want to know? So you can go running to your Watcher and have him
research everything about me? You’re probably better off not knowing, luv.
But,” he added in a lighter tone as he tore his eyes away and began pacing
in front of her. “If you must know…the name’s Spike.”

“So you have some sort of death wish?” she asked, feeling her Slayer side
becoming more confident.

“Only for your death,” he replied in a dangerous tone, turning his cold eyes
on her. “Until then…good night, Slayer.”

Buffy watched as he disappeared down the alley, her body shaking from the
power that he exuded.

Chapter 2

“Stay away from him, Buffy,” Giles said. “He’s the most dangerous monster
you’ve ever come in contact with.”

Buffy sat silently in the library, staring at her Watcher. She had edited
some of the events of the previous night, filling Giles in on the new
vampire in town. Giles had then discovered that Spike was William the
Bloody, and he’d been on edge ever since.

“So, Buffy can’t beat this guy?” Xander asked, sitting on one of the tables.

“I never said that,” Giles replied, taking off his glasses as he slowly
paced the area. “It would just be best to know more about him before jumping into
something that she may or may not be able to handle. Just be careful,
Buffy.”

Five minutes later, Buffy, Willow, and Xander were all walking off the school
campus, each with a worried expression.

“Did you know he was a vampire?” Willow asked as Buffy clutched a book more
firmly to her chest.

“No,” Buffy said softly. “I think having the summer off has seriously fried
some of my Slayer senses. I didn’t know he was a vamp until he got close to
my neck.”

“He got close to your neck!?” Xander cried.

“Geez, Xand, relax. I thought he was Mr. Joe Normal…plus an uncanny sexual
magnetism,” Buffy added with a secret smile to Willow.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Xander said, shaking his head. “Buff, he’s a vampire.
The thing you’re supposed to fight. You shouldn’t be checking this guy
out.”

Willow and Buffy both rolled their eyes. “Get a grip, Xander. I thought he
was human,” Buffy said with a shrug. “It’s not like I get guys who are
interested in me on a daily basis.”

Buffy realized her mistake the moment the words were out of her mouth. She
closed her eyes briefly, forgetting all about her rejection of Xander at the
end of the previous school year.

“But the guy who is interested in you isn’t good enough.”

Buffy sighed, hanging her head slightly. “I never said you weren’t good
enough,” Buffy replied quietly, trying to take into consideration that
Willow still had a huge crush on him. She felt worse for the redhead than
she did for Xander right now, considering he had a great girl in front of
him that he just failed to notice.

“Yeah,” Xander said with a disbelieving nod. “I’ll see you later.”

Buffy and Willow watched as he walked away.

“Don’t feel bad, Buffy,” Willow said, putting an arm around her friend's
shoulders. “It’s not your fault that you don’t feel that way about him.”

“I just wish he’d understand,” Buffy said sadly.

* * * * *

Buffy hopped onto a tombstone, twirling a stake in her hand as she looked
into the shadows that the trees and mausoleums were casting over the area.
She was only making a symbolic effort to patrol, still trying to let her
stomach heal, but she felt guilty if she didn’t stay out for at least an
hour. After all, even if she was injured, there was nobody else out to
fight the undead tonight.

“Slacking off on the job, are you, Slayer?”

The voice permeated the air, causing Buffy’s head to snap around to seek out
the distinct British accent. She was immediately on her feet. Suddenly
wishing she had taken Giles up on his offer to go with her tonight. He
wouldn’t have been able to help, of course, but it would have been nice
having a little support thrown her way. Especially since the vampire in
question suddenly seemed much more imposing now that she knew her Watcher didn’t want her to face him.

“What do you want, Spike?” Buffy asked in a much stronger voice than she
expected as he stepped out of the shadows and walked toward her.

Spike raised an eyebrow at her, smirking, as he tilted his head to one side.
“Feeling a little more confident tonight, Slayer?”

“I was confident last night,” she replied with her own raised eyebrow.

“Really?” Spike asked with a small smile as he took a few steps closer to
her. “Even when you were doubled over in pain and bleeding in an alley?”

Buffy’s eyes widened, her mouth dropping open slightly as she realized he’d
been watching her the night before. “You set me up. You had those vamps
attack me. What were you doing? Studying me?” she asked in disbelief.

“Looking for a weakness,” he replied, taking the final step toward her and
smiling again as she refused to back away. “And guess what, pet?”

Buffy stared at him through cold eyes as she waited for him to continue.

Spike leaned forward, hiding his shock that she would let him get this close
to her neck as she stood completely still. His lips almost brushed over her
hair as he whispered to her, “I found one.”

Buffy gasped when she felt his fist hit her in the stomach. Just as she had
the night before, her body folded over, trying to shield herself from the
pain that was exploding in her body before quickly righting herself and
throwing a strong left hook, feeling satisfied when she felt the solid
connection with his face.

Spike reeled back, catching himself a few paces away as his hand went up to
his jaw, chuckling as his eyes stayed trained on her. “What’s the matter,
luv?”

“For starters, don’t call me ‘luv'," Buffy said, gritting her teeth together.

“What should I call you then?” he asked with a smirk.
“Sweetheart…Goldilocks…or do you just prefer ‘Buffy’?”

Buffy’s eyes widened as he said her name. “I…I never told you…”

“Your name?” he finished for her, walking around her like a predator. “I
think you’ll find that I know a lot more about you than you’d expect.”

Buffy gulped as she suddenly felt short of breath. She hated herself for
the fear that was racing through her veins, but this man seemed to exude
power and strength. She wasn’t sure if she’d met her equal or if he was
more than that. And she was beginning to feel nervous if it was the latter
of the two.

“What do you want?” Buffy asked with a tremor in her voice.

“I thought we covered this last night, Goldilocks…I came to town for one
purpose.”

“You want me dead,” Buffy said softly, not knowing why there was a twinge of
sadness that seemed to go through her as she remembered his words to her.
“Is it just because I’m the Slayer?”

“I have my reasons.”

This time, as Spike advanced on her, Buffy felt the smartest thing to do
would be to get away from him. She knew she couldn’t run. She was already
sore from the cheap shot that he had surprised her with, and he would
probably enjoy chasing her more than anything. She wasn’t about to give him
the satisfaction of seeing her run away.

Buffy gasped as she felt the cold stone against her back. Glancing to her
left, while still keeping an eye on Spike, she saw that she had backed
herself into the wall of a crypt. Her eyes briefly closed when his hands
slammed against the hard surface, one on each side of her head, as he stared
at her.

Buffy tensed, preparing to get away from him, as he slipped his hands further
down the wall to trap her more effectively. “Don’t even try it, Slayer,” he
whispered. “You’d be dead before you took a step.”

“So, I’m supposed to just stand here and let you kill me?” she asked,
sarcasm running through her words.

Spike leaned forward, staying where she could see his eyes but breathing
out unneeded air so she knew just how far he was from her jugular.

Buffy tensed, tightening her jaw and feeling her body go rigid as she waited
for the pain.

“Who said I was going to kill you tonight?” he whispered, taking another
step and pressing his body against hers.

Buffy felt her heartbeat begin to race, her breathing becoming labored, as
his head dipped down to her neck, running his lips over the tender skin he encountered.

“What are you doing?” she whispered, feeling her body react to having this
man so close.

Spike smiled against her skin as the scent of her arousal filled the air.
The smile slowly disappeared as he realized he shouldn’t be having a
similar reaction to the Slayer. Especially since this particular Slayer had
killed the woman he loved.

Buffy sensed his hesitation and realized she could get out of this. But did
she want to?

‘Of course you do,’ she inwardly scolded herself. ‘Evil thing, remember?
You're not supposed to have cuddly feelings for a soulless demon.
Especially one that might drain you in less than a minute.’

Buffy let her hands slowly trail along the sleeves of his duster, smiling
when she felt the uncertainty flood through his body at her actions. He
slowly pulled back to stare into her eyes, seeing the vivid colors dancing
through them as her hands slowly came to his chest, slipping beneath the
duster and stroking the strong muscles that lay beneath the thin fabric of
his shirt.

Spike felt himself begin to take more unneeded breaths as she maintained eye
contact. His arms slowly relaxed, and Buffy saw her opportunity to get away,
but she couldn’t break free of him yet.

There was something about him that seemed to draw her in, and she couldn’t
bring herself to tear her gaze from the cerulean depths that seemed to hold
her in place.

Taking a deep breath, Buffy tore her eyes away from his as she landed a
solid kick to his legs, knocking him off his feet. Buffy broke away,
distancing herself until she felt safe as Spike jumped up with a growl,
turning yellow eyes to her.

“You shouldn’t have done that, Slayer.”

“You shouldn’t have come here,” she replied in a strong voice.

Spike’s human features slipped back into place as he leveled her with a cold
gaze. “You’ll wish that soon enough,” he said in a soft, menacing tone.
“Until then.”

He seemed to disappear in a split-second. Buffy waited until she couldn’t
feel his presence anymore before she let the trembling take over her body.
 

“So he just let you go?” Willow asked as she and Buffy left school the next
day.

“I don’t know what happened,” Buffy replied in confusion. “It was
like…something just came over both of us, and it was just a natural reaction
being that close to each other. But that’s wrong!” Buffy cried, spinning
around to face her friend. “Xander was right. I’m supposed to kill him,
not start developing feelings for him. It’s scary, Wills,” she finished in
a soft voice, looking at the ground.

“Maybe it’s supposed to be this way,” Willow said softly.

“What do you mean?”

“Well…vampires are supposed to be drawn to you, right? Slayer blood or
essence or something like that?”

“What are you getting at, Wills?”

“Maybe you’re supposed to be drawn to them.”

“I’ve always been drawn to them…just not sexually.”

“Sexually?”

“I-I meant physically,” Buffy rushed to cover her slip.

“But you said ‘sexually,’” Willow replied with a bright smile. “Come on,
Buffy, I saw the guy. Not very well, but from what I could tell, he was a
supreme hottie.”

“Willow!”

“What? I’m not allowed to look at other guys?” she asked with a fading
smile. “It’s not like the guy I want to be with ever notices me.”

Buffy wrapped a comforting arm around her friend. “It’ll happen, Willow.”

“You’re more sure of it than I am,” Willow said sadly.

* * * * *

“Bye, Mom, I’ll be home by midnight,” Buffy called as she walked out of her
house. The rest of the week had flown by with no further sightings of the
bleached blonde menace, and Buffy was off for a fun-filled night with her
friends. Buffy wasn’t sure if she should be grateful for that or worried
that he was plotting something. And although she hated to admit it, she was
a little disappointed.

Buffy was so lost in thought she never even picked up on the feeling of
being watched.

Spike stood in the shadows, lazily smoking a cigarette, as he watched the
Slayer walk through the darkened streets, wearing a short skirt and an almost
nonexistent top. So far, she hadn’t picked up on his presence, and he was
hoping to keep it that way for the time being. He’d spent several nights
not seeking her out, hoping to dissuade the disturbing feelings that he
seemed to be developing for the young girl.

He had convinced himself that she was just a worthy opponent. He was
willing to live with that explanation as long as they didn’t have another
night of sexual tension running rampant.

Buffy happily made it into the Bronze, waving at Willow and Xander as she
made her way through the crowd.

“Hi, guys!” Buffy yelled over the music.

“Hey, Buffster, what’s up?” Xander replied. Buffy was relieved that he
seemed to have gotten over their disagreement earlier in the week. He’d
been distant to Buffy since that day, and she was hoping that things wouldn’t
stay so strained between the two of them.

“No vamps tonight?” Willow asked, taking a sip of her drink.

“Nope, but I’m looking forward to some wonderful post-Bronze slayage time,”
Buffy said with a smile.

“Hi.”

Buffy turned around and smiled at the man behind her. “Hi,
yourself,” she replied, giving him a flirty smile.

“I’m Tom, I’m a senior at UCSunnydale,” he said, holding out his hand.

Buffy shook his hand. “I’m Buffy, and I’m a junior at Sunnydale High,” she
said with a laugh as she shook his hand.

“High school, huh?” he replied, trying to make small talk. “That’s a drag.”

“It’s not so bad,” Buffy replied with a shrug.

“Would you…like to dance?” he asked with a shy quality that he knew girls
found endearing.

Buffy glanced at her friends. Xander was busy shooting Tom death glares
while Willow was nodding at Buffy encouragingly. “Sure,” Buffy answered
with a nod.

* * * * *

Spike watched from the balcony, feeling his demon flash to the surface as
the Slayer openly flirted with some ponce. He didn’t even want to think
about the jealous feelings that were coursing through him. He simply
focused on the sudden need to feel the man’s life slip away from him…or the
Slayer’s.

* * * * *

Buffy laughed with Tom as they finished a second dance. She didn’t feel the
fire that she’d felt when Spike was dancing with her, but she attributed
that to the fact that subconsciously his undead status was setting off her
radar, giving her the tingly feelings she’d felt.

“Listen, there’s a party at my house tomorrow night…would you care to go with
me?” Tom asked.

“Your house?”

“Yeah, I’m in a fraternity. The Zeta Kappa’s. It’s our annual…well, it’s
our annual ‘It’s The Weekend, Let’s Throw A Party’ party.”

Buffy laughed at the description before nodding her acceptance. “I’d love
to go.”

“Great, do you want me to pick you up or-“

“No, that’s okay,” Buffy replied, shaking her head. “I can walk.”

“In this town? After dark? That’s too dangerous, Buffy, I’ll just pick you
up.”

“No, really, it’s-“

“I insist.”

Buffy finally relented, giving him her address and arranging a time to pick
her up.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Tom said with a smile, giving her a kiss on the
cheek before leaving the club.

Buffy was practically beaming as she walked back to the table. Not because
of the man she’d made a date with, but because of the fact that she had
actually made a date. She was doing something that a normal girl her age
was supposed to do.

* * * * *

Spike paced restlessly through the alley next to the Bronze. He didn’t know
why seeing the Slayer so happy was bothering him so much. It didn’t take
him long to track down the Gap Ad and break his neck, but even that didn’t
satisfy his thirst for violence. Something was definitely wrong.

Chapter 4

The next night, Buffy paced through her living room, wringing her hands
nervously. Tom was over a half an hour late, and Buffy had nothing to do
but stare at the clock and feel the rejection slowly settling in. She was
too restless to focus on the TV, and her mom was working late.

With a sigh, Buffy walked out onto the front porch to wait outside.
Wrapping her arms around her body as she tried to ward off the chill in the
air, Buffy felt tears come to her eyes as she looked up and down the road.
Wandering over to the porch swing, Buffy sat down, dropping her head into
her hands.

“You should have known better, Summers,” she said to herself. “He was just
being nice, there was no way a high school guy wants you, much less a
college senior. You’re just a naïve little girl.”

Buffy ran her hands through her hair, smoothing down the curls as she leaned
back into the swing, swallowing the lump in her throat.

* * * * *

Spike watched from the shadows of the house as Buffy walked outside, hugging her body as she stared down the street. He got a little closer as she sat
in the swing and couldn’t help the frown that came over his features when he
heard her comment to herself that she wasn’t good enough.

He stared at her for a moment longer, letting himself enjoy the way the
black silk dress clung to her curves, exposing her long legs and bare arms.

Spike took a few more steps toward her and felt a strange sense of pride
when her head shot up, scanning the darkness. He was happy that she knew he was there, but he wasn’t sure why, and he really didn’t want to analyze his
feelings about being proud of the Slayer.

Buffy stood up, slowly walking down the porch steps as her eyes adjusted to
the night. Spike waited until her back was to him before coming to stand
behind her. Buffy whirled around, swallowing a gasp at having him so close.

“What’s the matter, luv? Not happy to see me?” he asked with a smile,
biting his bottom lip as he looked her up and down.

“Something like that,” Buffy replied, realizing how stupid she was for
coming outside without a stake. But it wasn’t like vampires followed her
home on a regular basis. The normal ones tended to avoid her.

“How did you find me?”

“This wonderful thing called the telephone book. It seems your address is
listed.”

Buffy glared at the man, crossing her arms over her chest, causing Spike’s
eyes to drift to her exposed cleavage with a secretive smile.

“College boy stand you up?”

“That’s none of your business, and how did you know I had a date tonight?”

“I told you, luv. I know more about you than you realize. And that dress
is a dead giveaway.”

“And you just assume he was in college?” Her eyes widened. “Did you do something to him?

Spike shrugged, reaching into the pocket of his duster for his cigarettes
and lazily lighting one. Buffy stared at him in shock for a moment,
surprised that he would do something with such relaxed ease in front of the
Slayer.

‘Relax, Summers,’ she thought. ‘He never said he killed Tom and…why are you suddenly doubting that you can kill him? Vampire…Slayer. It’s supposed to be cut and dry.’

“That’s not exactly fair, is it?” she asked with a raised eyebrow, trying to get her mind off her thoughts.
“Shouldn’t I know something about you?”

“Are you flirting with me, Summers?” he asked with a smirk, exhaling the
smoke from his dead lungs.

Buffy’s eyes widened at the implication. “Me?” she asked, gesturing to
herself. “Flirt with you? I’m not that desperate.”

Spike’s eyes narrowed as he stared at her before taking a step closer and
flicking the cigarette away. Buffy felt her breath catch as she took a step
back, trying to keep her distance from the imposing vampire.

“You might not be that desperate, Slayer,” Spike said in a menacing voice.
“But it doesn’t change what you want.”

“And what’s that?” Buffy asked, wishing she was closer to the house and
hating the breathless quality of her voice.

Spike reached out, grabbing her arms and roughly pulling her against his
body, not allowing any space to come between them.

“Me,” he whispered, letting his head descend to her neck.

Buffy tensed before breaking his hold and shoving him away, nearly losing
her balance in the process. “Get a grip,” she said angrily. “Like you’re
God’s gift.”

“Hardly,” Spike replied with a chuckle. “But it wouldn’t be nearly as
interesting, would it?”

Buffy bravely turned her back on him, only serving to fuel Spike’s rage. It
was as if she was telling him that he was no threat to her, and that was the
last thing she should be thinking. He took several long strides to stand
behind her, and before she knew what was going on, she felt his hands on her
shoulders, seconds before she was thrown into the railing on the porch.

Buffy spun around with a sharp kick, sending Spike flying several feet away.
Her hand came up to her forehead, feeling the blood trickling down her
face and through her fingers as she fought the dizzying sensations.

Spike’s demon came forth as he advanced on her with a low rumbling in his
chest. “Don’t turn your back on me, Slayer,” he whispered in a deadly tone.
“I like a fair fight, but I’m not above taking some cheap shots every now
and then. Especially when a foolish little girl like you, doesn’t recognize a real
threat when it hits her in the face.”

“Fight?” Buffy asked with a sharp, forced laugh. “You fight? Because all
you’ve managed to do is talk my ear off.”

Spike left his demon in place as he advanced on her, watching as Buffy stood
her ground. “Do you really want to fight me tonight, Slayer?” he said
softly. “Because judging from that head wound, I’m guessing you wouldn’t be
of much use in that department.” Spike took a step back, letting his eyes
rake over her body. “Although, you could definitely have your uses in other
areas.”

Buffy never backed down from anything, but the danger of the situation was
becoming very clear as she looked into his yellow eyes.

“Leave,” she said softly, but the threat was evident.

Spike slipped back into his human face as he stared at her with a smirk.
“I’ll leave,” he replied. “But I’ll be seeing you soon.”

Buffy took a deep breath as he began to walk away. “The next time we
meet…you die.”

Spike turned around with a raised eyebrow. “I’m guessing your Watcher
didn’t tell you.”

“Tell me…what?” she asked nervously.

Spike chuckled as he shook his head. “You’d think he would want his Slayer
prepared for what she was about to face. No matter, it’s always fun
bragging about my conquests.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Many people have tried to kill me, luv,” he said with a smirk. “Including
two Slayers who lived long before you were called…and I’m still here.”

Buffy’s eyes widened at the implications of what he was saying.

“Not feeling as confident, Slayer?” Spike asked with a smirk before turning
and walking away, calling over his shoulder as he left. “You shouldn’t.”
 

Buffy walked through the cemetery later that week, gritting her teeth when
she felt his familiar presence.

“You know, this whole stalking thing really isn’t that appealing,” she said,
knowing he was standing behind her. Turning around, Buffy glared at the
blonde vampire. “If you want to fight, let’s fight. If not…leave me
alone.”

“I find it interesting, Slayer, that you don’t seem very eager to fight me.
Aren’t you supposed to attack my kind and ask questions later?” Spike asked
with a smirk.

“Is that the way you want to do it?” she asked, raising an eyebrow.

Spike chuckled, his mind choosing a double meaning for her statement. “I’ll
do it anyway you want to, luv.”

“So, do you stalk everyone like this, or am I the only special one?” Buffy
asked, crossing her arms across her chest.

Spike’s smile faded as he narrowed his eyes on her. “You’re the only
special one, Slayer,” he replied in a low tone, reminding himself that this
girl was the reason his dark princess was no longer with him.

“Lucky me,” she said wryly. “What’s the agenda for tonight?”

Spike wrapped his arms around his body as he sauntered over to her, looking
her up and down as he walked. “Tonight…we fight.”

Before the words were out of his mouth, Buffy doubled over in pain as Spike’s
fist hit her in the stomach. Luckily, the slash along her ribs had closed again,
but it was still tender. She gasped for air as his knee connected with her
face.

Buffy flew back, landing on the soft grass as stars seemed to dance in front
of her eyes. She could see Spike drop to his knees in front of her, his
fangs bared as he came toward her. Buffy gripped the stake until she could
feel blood dripping from her hand as the wood bit into her skin. She gasped
for breath as Spike came closer, but all she could see through the pain was
a blurry figure.

Deciding she better do something before it was too late, Buffy thrust the
stake toward Spike, rolling away as he roared in pain. She knew that she
missed his heart, but she definitely got his shoulder, causing him enough
pain that she could roll away from him. Scrambling to her feet, Buffy began to
run, not caring what direction she was going in as long as she got away.
She could hear him behind her as she suddenly spun around and was able to
deliver a powerful backhand to his jaw.

Buffy’s vision began to clear as the pain receded, but she felt the panic
overwhelm her as Spike’s strong arms gripped her, throwing her into the side
of a mausoleum before spinning her around and brutally holding her against
the cold stone.

Buffy felt tears come to her eyes.

‘It’s all come down to this,’ she thought, refusing to let the tears fall.
‘Sixteen years old, and my life is over…and I feel relief.’

Buffy felt Spike’s movements slow down, but her eyes were squeezed shut, bracing herself against the inevitable pain that she was about to go through. Bracing herself for the release. She could feel him as he got closer to her, his fangs slowly grazing her neck. She prepared herself for her final moments, for the blow that would rip her life from her body. Buffy squirmed in his grasp, giving one last effort to get away but knowing it was useless. She was too weak from the powerful blows he had delivered only a moment ago.

“Don’t turn me,” she whispered, opening her eyes as he pulled back to look
at her. “Just don’t turn me.”

“I thought you would have been a better fight than this, Slayer.”

“You were the one who said you’re not above taking cheap shots…you did. I
wasn’t ready. You win.”

Spike’s demon slipped away as he stared at the young girl with cold blue
eyes. He couldn’t figure it out. He had the Slayer in his arms, and he
hadn’t killed her yet. With the first two, he had taken the first
opportunity to go in for the kill, not hesitating to drain one dry or break
the other’s neck. Now, here he was almost taking a step back as he looked
at her. And he had more motivation for killing this one, yet he couldn’t
bring himself to do it.

“You have a death wish.”

Buffy stared at him for a long moment before averting her eyes, not wanting
to answer. Spike’s grip loosened on her arms, bracing himself against the
wall of the crypt as he looked at her.

“What are you doing?” she asked in a soft voice.

“Are you ready to die?”

The question was spoken in such a soft manner, Buffy couldn’t decipher the
meaning behind it. “Are you ready to kill me?” she asked.

“That’s not what I was asking. Do you want to die?”

Buffy looked into his clear blue eyes, understanding the meaning behind his
words. “If it’s not you, it will be something else,” she whispered with a
slight shrug. “Why prolong the inevitable?”

This answer seemed to anger Spike as he stared at her. “I thought you were
better than this,” he replied in a low tone. “You’re just giving up. A
nice clean death, and then you’re done, is that it?”

“What do you know!?” she yelled angrily. “You’re going to live forever!
The only threat to you and your kind is me. One of me versus thousands upon
thousands of vampires. What’s the point? I can never make a difference.”
Buffy looked down at the ground, not knowing why she was opening up to this
stranger. This stranger who wanted her dead. “Four months ago, I didn’t
want to die,” she whispered, raising her eyes to his and surprised to see
the compassion in them. “The Master killed me, and I wanted nothing more
than to be able to live. Now I’m alive, and I just want it to end…I want it
over. I’m supposed to go on and graduate and fight and work and fight some
more? I just want it over. I want peace.”

Spike stared at her for a long moment. Not thinking about anything other
than his own needs, his body pressed against her smaller one as his lips
crushed hers. Buffy gasped into his mouth, allowing Spike’s tongue to slip
in and duel with hers.

She had never been kissed this way. She’d never felt powerless to something
so simple as his lips touching hers, his hands wrapping around her waist.
Wanting to forget who she was, even if it was for just this brief moment,
Buffy’s arms reached up to wrap around his neck, pulling him closer as the
kiss deepened. She didn’t want to think, she didn’t want to worry, she just
wanted to feel. She didn’t want to stop and analyze the fact that this
soulless creature was awakening more desire and passion in her than she had
ever felt in her short life.

Breaking away after a moment, Spike’s eyes snapped open as he realized
what he had just done. With a low growl, he pushed her away before disappearing
into the night. Buffy watched him go, more confused than she had ever been.
She didn’t know why she had allowed the kiss to continue. She didn’t know
where the feelings had come from. And she didn’t know why she wanted to
follow him. She just knew it could never happen again.

Chapter 6

It had been a month since that fateful night that had changed her life.
Buffy didn’t know what happened that night, but she had regained the will to
live…to fight. She didn’t know if it was because she had come so close to
actually dying or because she was able to tell someone how she felt. At any
rate, she felt cured.

However, there was something that was still bothering her. Yes, it had been
a month since that night, and she hadn’t seen or heard from Spike in that
time. She was beginning to think he had been a figment of her imagination.
That she had simply conjured him up to help her deal with her death at the
beginning of the summer, and then he’d just evaporated into thin air. Of
course, she knew if she really believed that, she’d been living on the
Hellmouth too long.

She was happily taking the night off and spending it with her friends at The
Bronze.

“Um…Buffy,” Willow said with a strange look as she looked over Buffy’s
shoulder at something in the distance. “There’s some guy who keeps looking
over here- it’s like he knows you or something.”

Buffy felt her stomach flip, though she wasn’t sure if it was in fear or
anticipation of it being him. She slowly turned in her seat, scanning the
crowd for the somewhat familiar bleached hair but not seeing him.

Instead, her eyes focused on a familiar face that she hadn’t seen in years.
“Oh my God,” she murmured as she made eye contact with him. Buffy stared in shock as the brunette made his way over to her, smiling when he came closer.

“Ford?” she asked softly when he reached the table.

“It’s me, Summers,” he said with a grin.

“I can’t believe it,” Buffy cried with a smile as she practically threw
herself into his arms. “What are you doing here?”

“Looking for you, actually,” Ford replied, casting a look over Buffy’s
shoulder at her two friends.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Buffy said, spinning around with a smile as she took Ford’s
hand in hers. “This is Billy Fordham, he was my best friend at Hemery.
Ford, these are my friends, Willow and Xander.”

The group exchanged pleasantries as Buffy felt her gaze being pulled to the
balcony of the club. She swallowed hard at the sight of the ice blue eyes
that seemed to be looking right through her.

‘So, he wasn’t a figment of my imagination,’ Buffy thought, repressing a
smile before she had to repress a shiver. Turning back to her friends and
never letting go of Ford’s hand, Buffy informed them that it was time to go.
She wanted to talk to Ford, but she couldn’t risk leaving two of her best
friends alone with Spike in the nearby vicinity. He might want to send a
message her way via dead body, and she didn’t want to take that chance.

As Willow and Xander stood and began gathering their things, Buffy hazarded
another look up at the balcony and frowned when she didn’t see him anymore.
That could only mean that he was around and watching her from a different
location. She wasn’t naïve enough to believe that he had simply walked
away. His demon would practically get off on stalking her, hunting her
without her knowledge.

The group walked out of the club, with Buffy keeping a close eye on the
shadows.

“Ford, you said you were looking for me,” Buffy said, trying to make
conversation as her mind went elsewhere.

“Yeah,” Ford replied. “It’s actually more of a private thing,” he said in a
low voice as Buffy nodded.

“Okay,” Buffy replied as they all continued to make small talk. Buffy took
a more roundabout way of getting home, wanting to make sure Willow and
Xander made it safely inside their houses before turning her full attention
to her oldest friend.

“Where are you staying?” she asked, trying to make it sound like a form of
small talk and not a way to get him back safely.

“The Sunnydale Inn,” he replied.

“Great! That’s on my way home,” Buffy replied cheerfully. ‘Or about two
miles out of the way, but I patrol more than that every night.’

She, of course, didn’t voice her thoughts. She didn’t want him thinking
that he should be the gentleman and make sure she got safely home, but she
wasn’t about to let that happen.

“So…you said you wanted to talk to me,” she said with a soft smile,
encouraging him to tell her what was on his mind.

Ford took a deep breath, knowing he could no longer prolong the inevitable.
“I think it’s best that I just come out and say it,” he said, the melancholy
evident in his voice. “I’m dying, Summers,” he said softly.

Buffy froze at the admission, coming to a complete stop as her friend turned
to face her. “What do you mean?” she asked quietly.

Ford looked down at the ground before raising his eyes to hers. “Nest of
tumors,” he said softly as he began walking.

Buffy gasped for air as she stared at him. “But…you’re so young,” she said
softly, the disbelief evident in her voice as she fought back the tears in
her eyes. “You’re only sixteen.”

Ford tightened his lips, trying his best to smile. “I don’t think there’s
an age discrimination,” he said in a quiet tone.

“And there’s nothing…”

“No,” he replied, shaking his head. “We’ve tried everything. There’s
nothing else.”

Buffy let silent tears stream down her cheeks as they continued walking in
silence. They stood outside the rundown Inn sooner than Buffy expected.

“Do you want me to walk you home?” Ford asked softly.

Buffy shook her head, hugging her arms around herself as she stared into
space. “No…you should get inside, I’ll be fine.”

Ford nodded, turning toward the Inn before apparently coming to a decision
and spinning around to face Buffy again.

Buffy gasped when she felt his lips slide across hers in a soft kiss. Ford
pulled away, offering her a shy smile as he stepped back. “That was
actually the reason I decided to come and find you,” he said with a glint in
his eyes. “I’ve been wanting to do that for years.” Buffy blushed,
grateful for the silvery moonlight that hid it from his view. “I’m not in
town very long, Summers, but I just had to see you.”

“I’m glad,” Buffy said quietly, smiling at Ford as he turned and walked
toward his room. “Ford!” she called, watching as he turned around. “I’ve
been wanting you to do that for years,” she said with a smile.

Ford chuckled, offering her a wave as he entered his room.

Neither noticed the yellow eyes that were watching the display.
 

Buffy decided to forego patrolling that night, opting to go home and get
some rest. She walked into her house with tears still streaming down her
face after hearing Ford’s news of his impending death. He had seemed so
calm about it. Buffy knew that feeling. The idea that you had to be
strong because there was no option to be anything else but strong. She
couldn’t pity him. He would hate that.

It made her reflect on her own life as Buffy walked upstairs to her
bedroom. She changed out of her Bronzing clothes and pulled on some jeans
and a white tank top. It was still early- her mom wasn’t even home from
spending the evening out with her friends, but Buffy didn’t feel like doing
anything.

She stared into her mirror, looking at the girl she once was and the woman
she had become. They seemed to be combined within her. Her face was still
sixteen, but her eyes showed everything. All of the horrors that the world
knew nothing about that she was supposed to protect it from. The knowledge
of what it felt like to have your life pulled from your body, only to be
revived and end up stronger in the long run.

“Sixteen years old, and you’re already a jaded and cynical person,” she
murmured to herself, looking at her reflection as she ran her hands through
her hair. “Unable to trust, unable to be optimistic about anything in this
world. You could be out there patrolling right now and kill ten vampires,
only to have twenty rise in their place.”

Buffy let her face drop into her hands as the annoying little voice in her
head reminded her that she should be out there patrolling for that very
reason.

With a sigh, Buffy turned away from the mirror and nearly jumped out of her
skin when she saw Spike sitting at her window. She momentarily looked back
and forth from him to the mirror before remembering that a vampire casts no
reflection.

Buffy slowly walked toward the window, flipping the lock and sliding it open
as he watched her with interest.

“Gonna come out and play, Slayer?” he asked with a smirk as Buffy crossed
her arms defiantly over her chest.

“With you?” Buffy asked, raising an eyebrow at him. “Not likely. What do
you want?” Buffy asked, keeping a careful eye on him.

“Now, Slayer, if I didn’t know any better, I’d say you weren’t happy to see
me,” Spike said with a grin. His tone suddenly turned very serious as he
looked at her. “Why not invite me in, pet?” he asked in a deadly tone.

Buffy actually laughed at the request. “You have got to be kidding me,” she
said, trying to control her giggles as Spike watched her through narrowed
eyes. “You actually expect me to give you an all-access pass to my house?
I don’t think so.”

“Then come outside,” he replied in a challenging tone.

“No,” Buffy said forcefully.

Spike stared at her long and hard for a moment before a slow smile crept
onto his face. “Alright, if that’s the way you want it.”

Buffy raised an eyebrow as he seemed to back down so readily.

“Maybe,” he continued in a slow drawl. “I’ll just wait for your mum to get
home.”

Buffy’s eyes widened, her breath catching at what he was saying. “No,”
she said, shaking her head. “I’ll know when she gets here, and I’ll be
able to protect her.”

Spike chuckled as he looked at her defiant face. “Well, pet, you won’t know
where I’ll be.”

“What are you talking about?” Buffy asked, a suspicious note creeping its
way into her voice.

“You won’t know if I’m here waiting on your mum or if I’ve gone off to kill
your newfound best friend.”

Buffy’s heart caught in her throat as he watched her reaction. “Leave him
alone,” she said with fire in her eyes.

“Oooh, touched a nerve, did I? Well, I’ll be off then,” he said, turning
away to jump off the roof.

“Wait,” Buffy said softly, seconds before he jumped.

Spike turned halfway around, looking at her out of the corner of his eye.

“I’ll come out there,” Buffy murmured, grabbing a long sweater and pulling
it around her before hesitantly stepping outside.

She refused to react when she found herself thrown against the side of the
house, expecting nothing else from the temperamental demon.

Spike’s human mask was still in place as he held her firmly by the arms,
looking into her defiant face. “What’s the matter, luv? Don’t feel like
playing tonight?” he asked with a smirk.

Buffy didn’t answer as they each leveled the other with a strong gaze.

“You seem overly confident tonight,” she remarked after a minute,
suppressing a smile at the confusion that clouded his eyes.

“And why shouldn’t I be?” he asked, never backing away from her.

“Because I’m the Slayer,” Buffy replied in a soft but powerful voice. “And
you seem to keep forgetting that.”

Buffy knew her words would be misinterpreted as a precursor to a fight, so
she had to smile slightly when she felt Spike’s hands tighten on her since
she had no intention of throwing the first punch.

Spike felt himself involuntarily breathe as his head angled opposite hers.
Buffy couldn’t figure out if he was studying her or preparing to kiss her.
She hated herself for hoping it was the latter of the two.

“Are you scared of me, luv?” he asked quietly, his eyes burning into hers.

“Should I be?” she challenged, never breaking eye contact.

Spike’s jaw tightened as he watched her. “I could kill you right now,” he
whispered menacingly.

“Then why don’t you?” Buffy no longer had her death wish, but she seemed to
subconsciously know that Spike wouldn’t actually try to kill her…tonight,
anyway.

“You still wanting to die, pet?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

“What answer do you want to hear?”

Spike was getting sick of her answering a question with a question. His
fingers itched to wrap around her neck and squeeze the life out of her, but
something was holding him back. And that made him more frustrated than he
had ever been in his life.

He had an underlying respect for this tiny scrap of a girl. She had
survived around him longer than the other two Slayers combined. Although,
they hadn’t really had a fight to the death, either.

Buffy sighed. She really wasn’t in the right mindset to fight right now,
but if he was wanting one, she would give as good as she got. “I came out
here…now will you leave my friends and family alone?”

Spike tilted his head thoughtfully. She could have easily had a stake
hidden on her and tried to dust him from inside the house. She had shown
guts by coming outside, facing a Master vampire, while she was unarmed.
“You’re willing to take the word of a vampire?” he asked with a smirk.

Her expression stayed serious as she watched him. “No,” she said softly.
“I’m willing to take your word.”

Spike’s eyes widened at the implications of the simple statement. He stayed
quiet for a moment, dropping his gaze as he desperately wished for a
cigarette. “Tonight,” he murmured, still looking at the roof. “Only for
tonight.”

Spike raised his eyes to Buffy, trying to gauge her reaction. She didn’t
seem surprised, no matter which answer she was expecting. “Tonight is
something,” she said softly, looking into his eyes. “What do you want from
me, Spike?”

The question seemed to take him off-guard as his eyes roamed her face
before sliding down her body. He could see the soft curves where her
sweater parted, revealing the thin fabric of her tank top to his gaze.

Spike’s eyes strayed lower until his hands loosened their grip. He was
prepared for the Slayer to rush him and try and knock him off the roof, but
she merely stayed where she was.

His hands, of their own volition, traveled down her arms and came to rest on
her waist. Buffy seemed to tense slightly but held his gaze as they
slipped under the fabric to touch her warm skin. Buffy flinched slightly
but stayed where she was, her curiosity obviously getting the best of her as
his fingertips ghosted over her sensitive flesh.

Spike noticed her flinch when he touched an area that didn’t feel like the
rest of her skin. His left hand grazed lightly over her right hip, his brow
furrowing at the different texture. Buffy pulled away slightly, more from
embarrassment than anything else.

“As I thought,” he said with a raised eyebrow. “Some nasty thing got a
taste of you.”

“Something like that,” Buffy murmured, focusing her eyes on something over
his shoulder as Spike studied her.

“What happened?” he asked, hating himself for caring.

Buffy raised her shirt slightly, showing him the thin scar that left a
white line of scar tissue on the golden skin of her stomach. Spike reached
out, letting his fingers run over what he could see of the scar as he raised
an eyebrow. “You should have had that stitched up, luv.”

“I don’t like hospitals,” Buffy replied before meeting his eyes with hers.
“And why do you care?”

Spike didn’t have an answer for that. “How did it happen?”

“I met a vamp in Los Angeles at the end of the summer,” Buffy said quietly.
“She was rambling on about sunshine and a bunch of other things, and I just…I
wasn’t ready for it.”

Spike’s body went rigid as he listened to her story. “What did she look
like?”

“Pretty,” Buffy murmured. “Long, dark hair. She seemed older…probably
older than you.”

“And you dusted her,” he commented softly.

“Yeah,” she said softly, avoiding his eyes. “It’s…what I had to do.”

Spike noticed that she didn’t say, ‘It’s what I do.’

“It was either her or me,” Buffy continued, looking up at him.

Spike backed away from the Slayer, avoiding her eyes as he came to the edge
of the roof. “Is that it?” Buffy asked with a raised eyebrow. “You just
wanted to stop by for a visit?”

Buffy noticed his distracted look before he turned around and jumped off the
roof, landing with a soft thump on the grass below. She watched his duster
swirling as he hurriedly made his way down the street.

Spike realized he was involuntarily breathing as he walked. He didn’t know
what was upsetting him more- the fact that Buffy had spoken so openly about
killing Drusilla, even though she didn’t know that’s why Spike came to
Sunnydale, or the fact that Dru had injured Buffy, to the point of scarring
the young girl, and that had conjured up more feelings for the Slayer than
the death of the woman he’d loved for a century.

Buffy and Willow laughed as they walked into the Bronze on Halloween,
searching for Xander in the crowd. Finally spotting him, they waved as they
crossed the club.

“Come on, Wills, just take off the sheet.”

“It’s not a sheet- I’m a ghost.”

“And you looked awesome the way you were,” Buffy said with a soft smile. “I
think Xander would notice it, too.”

“Whoa, Buffy!” Xander exclaimed, his eyes widening as the girls approached.
“Looking good.”

“Thanks, you do, too, Xand,” Buffy replied with a smile, appraising his army-man costume while shooting obvious glances at Willow.

“And Wills…nice sheet.”

“I’m a ghost,” Willow said, stomping her foot.

“I think she looks good.”

Everyone turned at the voice, and Buffy smiled and gave Ford a hug. “Zorro,
huh?” she said with a smile as Ford drew the sword and swiped it through the
air, striking a pose.

The girls laughed while Xander glared at the other man.

“I thought you would be leaving,” Buffy said, looking at Ford.

“I actually came to say good-bye,” Ford replied. “I thought I’d have some fun dressing up.”

Buffy quickly enveloped him in another hug. “Make sure you call me,” she said in a serious tone.

“I will, Summers,” Ford replied, giving her a kiss on the cheek.

Buffy gave him a smile, trying to fight back tears as she pasted a smile on her face. “Well,”
she began, her voice filled with false enthusiasm. “I’m parched, I’ll be back.”

* * * * *

Spike stared at her from across the dance floor as she sauntered up to the
bar, swaying her hips beneath the short skirt. He’d grown painfully hard
when she’d walked into the club, and it hadn’t diminished in the amount of
time he’d been trying to make it go away. He stared at her lithe body,
barely concealed beneath the tight shirt. Her black bra was clearly visible
beneath the button-down shirt that remained unbuttoned and tied above her
navel. The tiny sweater that was over her shirt was barely large enough to
fit her, much less conceal anything from the numerous prying eyes that were
roaming her body, Spike’s included. The outfit was topped off with knee
socks, Mary Janes, and braided pigtails, portraying what Spike considered
to be the perfect Catholic school girl.

He had to smile at the advances she was receiving from the males of the club, only to brush them all off and order her drink, although he hadn’t been happy to see her friend kiss her on the cheek.

Spike made his way across the floor, coming to stand directly behind her,
biting his lip as he admired the view that was provided from being so close
to her. He saw her shoulders tense when she realized he was behind her and
found himself wondering if she thought it was a random vampire or if she was
tuned into knowing when it was distinctly him.

Spike took a step forward, letting a finger trail along her exposed midriff
as he leaned close to whisper in her ear. “Love the outfit, Slayer. You
should wear it more often.”

Buffy turned around, ready with a quick retort, but it just as quickly died
as she stared at him. The duster and all black ensemble was gone. In its
place was a pair of very tight blue jeans and a black leather vest covered in
safety pins, leaving his muscular arms and chest open to her view.

Buffy felt her mouth go dry as she took in his spiked hair and the dark
outlines around his eyes, making them appear an even deeper shade of blue than usual.

“I could say the same,” she replied with a smirk, deciding she wouldn’t mind
playing this game as she leaned against the bar, giving him a good look at
her body.

Spike smiled at her flirty behavior, enjoying the view he was giving her and
witnessing the jealous stares that other men were sending their way.

“I thought creatures of the undead variety took the night off on Halloween.”

“Most do,” Spike replied with a raised eyebrow. “But most don’t get to see
you in this getup either.”

Buffy gave him a coy smile, turning to accept her drink from the bartender
before facing Spike again with a smirk. “Be good tonight. It’s my night
off, too, and I wouldn’t want to have to come find you just because you get
hungry.”

“Maybe you could give me a little taste,” Spike said with his own smirk.
“Slayer’s blood would fill me up for days.”

Buffy gave him a patented look as she turned to walk away. “In your dreams, bleach
boy,” she called over her shoulder.

Spike admired her as she walked back to her friends, chuckling to himself. ‘She should
have nights off more often if that’s the result,’ he thought with a grin as
he ordered a shot from the bartender.

* * * * *

Buffy tried to keep an eye on Spike, but he was frequently disappearing on
her. Ford, Xander, and Willow were having fun discussing something. The
topic of which, Buffy didn’t have a clue. She excused herself, wanting to
check on the vampire. It was her night off, but her duty was pretty clear,
and if Spike was snacking tonight, she would have to do something about it.

Buffy was surprised when she looked out on the dance floor and saw him
wrapped in the arms of a redheaded woman Buffy had never seen before. A
streak of jealousy shot through her, surprising her at the feeling of seeing
him dancing with someone was causing her. Albeit, dancing rather intimately.

“Care to dance?”

Buffy turned at the sound of the voice, smiling when she saw Cameron Walker
beside her. “I’d love to,” she said with more conviction than she felt.

Cameron immediately wrapped his arms around her, pulling Buffy much closer
than she felt comfortable with. At least until she looked up and saw the
jealousy flare in Spike’s eyes as he watched her.

Buffy decided two could play at this game as she pressed herself against
Cameron, moving seductively with him as the music played.

Spike clenched his jaw, restraining himself from walking over and breaking
the boy’s neck. He knew it would cause more attention than he was willing
to bring to himself tonight. He also knew that the Slayer would never let
him get away with it, but it was still enraging to him as she swayed her hips to the
music, pressing her body against the other boy. Spike was completely
ignoring the advances of the woman in his arms as he watched Buffy bite her
lip in faux shyness as she batted her eyelashes.

Spike was far beyond the point where he’d had enough. He was outraged. As
far as he was concerned, she was his Slayer. He didn’t even stop to ponder
that thought as he pushed the woman away, stalking across the dance floor
and grabbing Buffy’s arm. “You’re leaving,” he growled as Buffy smiled at
him.

“Is this guy bothering you?” Cameron asked her.

Spike raised an eyebrow at Buffy, letting her know what would happen to the
boy. “No,” Buffy replied, maintaining eye contact with Spike as she shook
her head. “I’m fine. Thanks for the dance, Cameron.”

Buffy motioned to her friends that she was alright as she was practically
dragged out of the club. Spike angrily pulled her into the alley, rounding
the corner into a secluded alley and pushing her against the bricks.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Buffy asked, narrowing her eyes.

Spike didn’t answer, his lips crashing down on hers in a vicious kiss, each
battling for dominance as his body pushed her into the side of the building. Spike’s
tongue slipped into her mouth, battling with hers as his hands wandered down
her body, settling on her hips before boosting her up and wrapping her legs
around his waist.

Buffy moaned into his mouth as the kiss grew more passionate, the brutality
turning to need as Spike pushed against her. Buffy pushed back with equal
strength, gasping at the feel of his body against hers.

It was all Spike could do to keep his demon in check. Now wasn’t the time
for it to come out and play. Buffy’s hands slid up his body to fist in his
hair as her mouth broke away from his, her body arching against him.

Spike’s lips kissed along her jaw-line before sliding down her throat.
Buffy tensed when she realized how dangerous this was. He could easily kill
her at any moment, and she was practically begging for him to bite her.

Straightening her legs, Spike gave her a confused look as he dropped her to
the ground, watching her chest heaving as their eyes clashed.

Spike raised an eyebrow at her as Buffy began to back away before grabbing
her arm and throwing her into the brick wall, pinning her in on either side.
Buffy felt a brief sense of fear but quickly squashed it down as she
looked into his stormy eyes. “I know you felt it,” Spike said in a low
tone. “You can’t deny there’s something between us.”

“There is,” Buffy agreed before pushing him away. “I’m just not sure if I
want to know what it is.”

Buffy decided to skip patrolling the next night, wanting to stay in and
have a night to herself. More importantly- a night away from Spike. She
was terrified she would run into him again. But she wasn’t scared of the
demon…she was scared of the man. He made her feel things she didn’t know
she could feel, and Buffy was coming dangerously close to giving him anything
he wanted. That feeling of helplessness was the scariest thing she’d ever
experienced- and she’d faced a lot of scary things.

Buffy was just settling down on the couch for a long night of “Gone with the
Wind” when she heard a soft knock on the door. With a sigh, Buffy tossed
the chenille blanket away from her and slowly walked over to the door.

Her eyes adjusted to the dark porch before widening slightly when she saw
him bathed in the shadows before she crossed her arms over her chest.
“What the hell do you want now?”

“Language,” Spike said, shaking his head and clucking his tongue as his
hands braced the doorframe. “You should work on that, Slayer.”

Buffy narrowed her eyes as he looked her up and down, taking in the white
satin pajamas.

“I’ve gotta admit, luv,” he said with a smirk. “I liked the Catholic
schoolgirl look, but this is sexy enough in its own right.”

Buffy glared at him as he tilted his head, giving her a soft, almost
endearing smile. “Why don’t you invite me in, pet?” he asked in a husky
voice.

“Do I even need to dignify that with a response?”

“Come on, baby,” he murmured, pouring his charm into those three little
words. “We could have some fun.”

Buffy felt her breathing accelerate and knew from the look in his eye that he
knew how much his presence was affecting her. “But we’re not going to,”
Buffy said in a voice that didn’t sound like her own.

“Come outside then,” Spike said with a tilt of his head.

“So you can try and kill me?”

“I promise to be a good boy,” he replied with a smile before arching one
eyebrow. “That is…unless you want me to be bad.”

Buffy felt her thighs involuntarily clench together at the unfamiliar tingling she felt.
His body was practically calling to hers as she took a step forward, making
sure to stay inside the barrier.

“Where’s your mum?”

Buffy snapped out of her trance. “Why do you want to know?”

“Relax, I just wanted to see if we were alone,” Spike said, suddenly
turning serious, keeping the malice out of his voice. “Come outside.”

Buffy looked around the comfort of her home before looking at the barrier.
“Don’t come near me,” she said in a strong voice. “This porch is made of
wood- I’ll find something to use if I need to.”

“I didn’t come here to fight, Slayer.”

Buffy took a deep breath before stepping outside, making sure to leave the
door open. “What do you want?” she asked, staying on alert but keeping her
arms wrapped protectively around her.

“That’s what I was going to ask you,” Spike replied in a husky voice.

Buffy felt her heart speed up, and seeing the smile that crossed Spike’s
face, he noticed it, too.

“What if I said I want you dead?”

“Don’t lie to yourself,” Spike said with a smile. “You and I both know what
you want.”

“Leave town, Spike,” Buffy said in a more forceful tone than she expected.

Spike took a casual step toward her, seeing her body tense, seconds before
he grabbed her around the waist and pinned her to the side of the house.
His grip loosened as soon as he got her to the destination of his choice.
Buffy relaxed slightly, seeing that he was still in his human guise.

“Is that really what you want?” he whispered as Buffy nervously licked her
lips.

Spike watched her tongue sweep across her lips, fighting the urge to taste
her…in any way that he could.

“Why are you here?” Buffy whispered. “Why are you doing this?”

“I’m here for you,” Spike said softly, brushing the hair off her shoulders,
and Buffy tensed, fearing that he was brushing it away from her neck.

“You’re here to kill me?”

“I don’t know,” he said honestly as Buffy’s eyes shot up to his.

“What do you mean?”

Spike didn’t answer as his lips tenderly brushed against hers, seeking out
their softness and warmth.

Buffy wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him closer to her as his
hands wrapped around her waist, grinding his hardening erection against her.
She moaned, her tongue slipping into his mouth as Spike lifted her up.
Buffy gasped when she felt him sit down on the porch swing, surprised that
he would voluntarily give her this much control.

Her hands eagerly ran across his body, tightening on his biceps, feeling the
hard muscles beneath the leather. Spike slowly began skimming along her
body before tenderly sliding underneath the satin fabric of her top, feeling a
thrill run through him when he encountered the smooth skin. He felt himself
grow painfully hard when he realized she wasn’t wearing anything beneath the
flimsy top. Breaking away from her lips, Spike looked at her through
lust-filled eyes, gasping for air that he didn’t need.

Buffy breathed heavily, staring down at him as his hands continued exploring
her body. She tensed when they slid around to her stomach, feeling the flat
muscles before traveling upward. Buffy felt her heartbeat skyrocket as
Spike’s lips met hers in a soft kiss, seconds before his cool hands
brushed across the tender skin of her breasts. She gasped into his mouth
when he gently pinched her nipples, rolling them slightly and letting them
go. Her hands clutched at his strong shoulders as her hips grinded into
his, eliciting a growl from him.

Spike pushed against her, pulling her closer to him. When they finally
separated, Buffy gasped for air as they stared at each other. Buffy
could barely see him in the darkness, but Spike let his eyes flash yellow as
he looked at her. He took in her flushed face and heaving chest, feeling a
sense of pride wash over him.

“Don’t start anything you don’t plan on finishing, luv,” he whispered.

Buffy gulped, climbing out of his lap and began pacing the porch. Spike
leaned forward, propping his elbows on his knees as he watched her.

“What’s wrong?”

“I shouldn’t be doing this,” Buffy murmured, practically talking to herself
as she ran her hands through her hair. “You’re a vampire.”

“You got that memo a long time ago,” Spike replied, standing up and grabbing
her arms to stop her and face him. “This isn’t exactly normal conduct for
me either. If it gets out that I’m getting this close to the Slayer…”

Spike trailed off when he saw the hurt look in her eyes, and it was really
starting to piss him off that he cared if he was hurting her feelings.

“How do you feel about me?” Buffy asked, biting her lip in anticipation.

Spike stared into her eyes for a moment before coming to a decision. “Meet
me tomorrow night,” he said softly.

Buffy’s eyes widened. “For what?”

Spike raised an eyebrow before leaving a gentle kiss on her lips.

Buffy took a deep shaky breath as they pulled away from each other. “Where
do I meet you?”
 

Chapter 10

Buffy nervously fidgeted with her coat as she approached the warehouse. Her stomach was tied in knots and had been since the night before.

It had taken more than four hours for her to get the nerve to approach this side of town. Now that she was here, Buffy was having serious doubts.

“What am I doing here?” she mumbled to herself, staring at the imposing building. “You know what he’s expecting- you should be going the other way.”

Strange how her feet were carrying her even closer to the destination. Buffy nervously slipped into the building, letting her eyes adjust to the darkened interior. Taking a deep breath, she slowly began walking further into the building.

* * * * *

Spike watched her from the shadows. The anger he was feeling with her for being so late had dissipated when he’d seen her. He took in the jeans, turtleneck, and long, cream-colored coat that fell to her knees. Spike smiled, realizing she was trying to overcompensate by covering nearly every inch of her body. Little did she know that it just made him want her even more.

Buffy tensed when she felt his presence, turning in a full circle, trying to catch a glimpse of him.

“Where are you?” she asked in a shaky voice.

“Scared, Slayer?” Buffy’s head snapped to the direction of his voice, but he was already gone.

“So this is just a game to you?” she asked.

“Maybe,” Spike replied.

Buffy felt the anger start to bubble in her chest as she turned and headed for the door.

“I don’t feel like playing,” she called over her shoulder.

Before she reached the door, Buffy swallowed a gasp as she felt her shoulders seized in a strong grip. She tensed but stayed where she was when she felt his hands brush the hair away from her shoulders.

Wrapping his arms around her waist, Spike pulled her toward him until his growing arousal was firmly pressed against her lower back.

“Scared, Slayer?” he asked again, the difference in his tone sending a shiver racing down her spine.

“Should I be?” she asked in a breathy voice.

Spike slowly turned her around in his arms, unbuttoning the coat and letting it fall to the floor. It was then that Buffy noticed he was standing in front of her in nothing but a pair of tight black jeans. Her mouth practically watered as she took in the chiseled muscles of his chest and abs. Biting her lip, Buffy tentatively reached out, tracing her fingernails along his torso.

“You’re late,” Spike murmured, his eyes riveted to her. Buffy turned her eyes to his, feeling a charge run through her body as they looked at each other.

“I’m here now,” she replied, her voice taking on a soft quality.

Buffy could barely make out his features as the sky turned a blue-gray, waiting for sunrise. The faint light spilled through the high windows, never putting the vampire in danger, but enough for her to see her surroundings. Her breathing escalated when she saw the mattress on the floor behind him, covered in red satin sheets.

Spike heard the change in her heartbeat and turned around to see what she was looking at. A smirk overtook his features when he realized what she had seen the bed.

Knowing he would have to be careful around the skittish young girl, Spike loosely grasped her hand in his and led her over to it.

“Spike…I don’t know if I can do this,” she whispered when his other hand slipped under her shirt and caressed the soft skin. Buffy slowly began to relax, biting her lip when he pushed it over her stomach, his eyes meeting hers as they almost asked for permission. Buffy swallowed hard before raising her arms above her head, feeling self-conscious when he removed the turtleneck, leaving her in a white lace bra.

A low growl rumbled in his chest as his hands went to the button of her jeans. He paused when he felt her tense.

‘Right,’ Spike thought to himself. ‘She’s a virgin…have to go slower than usual.’

He let his hands wander in soothing motions over her stomach and around to her back, pulling the young girl close to his body before leaving a passionate kiss on her lips. Buffy broke away after a moment, gasping for air and feeling overwhelmed by the intensity of her feelings as Spike turned them, with Buffy’s back to the bed.

Pushing her jeans over her hips, Spike let them slide down her legs, kissing along her jaw to keep her relaxed.

“Sit down on the bed, luv,” he murmured, pulling back to look into her eyes. Buffy bit her lip but did as he said. Spike knelt in front of her, pulling off her boots and socks before letting her pants fall to the floor. He stared at her for a long moment, taking in the sexy yet innocent scrap of white lace that covered her.

Taking a deep unneeded breath, he noticed her flushed skin as she watched him watching her. After a moment, Buffy’s hand went to the sheet, attempting to cover herself before Spike stopped her.

“You’re beautiful,” he whispered, pushing her back on the bed and following her, covering her body with his own.

“Spike?” she whispered, her voice filled with uncertainty.

“Shh, pet,” Spike murmured, letting his lips brush along her shoulder, down to her chest. “I’ll make you feel good…I promise.”

Buffy’s breath caught in her throat as he slowly removed her bra, letting it fall to the floor. She tensed when he caught her hands before they could cover her breasts, holding them in a strong grip as his lips caressed the tender skin. She trembled when he slid down her body, quickly removing her panties before she had a chance to protest.

“What are you doing?” she asked, clenching her strong thighs together when he started to settle in between them.

“I’m about to make you feel good,” Spike whispered, running his hands along her legs until she started to relax.

Buffy took a deep breath, allowing him to part her legs seconds before she felt his tongue slide along her opening. Her body nearly arched off of the bed, her hands fisting in the sheets.

“Easy, kitten,” he murmured. “We’re just getting started.”

Spike’s tongue lightly teased her, smiling at the rush of moisture that pooled out from his actions. He eagerly lapped it up, craving more as Buffy’s head thrashed around on the pillows. Her breathy moans were getting him even more worked up as he let his tongue take on a swirling motion, causing her to writhe beneath him. Buffy thought she would pass out from the pleasure he was giving her. He gently swiped at her before speeding up and practically attacking her mound.

Buffy nearly cried out when he broke away to trail light kisses along her thighs as he slipped out of his jeans.

“You taste incredible,” he said in a low, rumbling voice that sent shivers through her body. Her body unconsciously arched toward him, craving the friction as he slowly swiped at her clit, narrowly avoiding it with each movement of his tongue.

“Spike,” she said in a pleading voice, her hands fisting in his hair.

“God, I could do this all night,” he said, his hands gripping her butt to pull her closer to his face. Buffy gasped, her muscles tensing when his wet tongue traced over her again. She could feel her orgasm building, a knot making itself known in the pit of her stomach as he lavished attention on her aching flesh.

Spike let his tongue bathe over her before plunging inside. Buffy felt her body begin to hum with pleasure and practically exploded when his mouth latched onto her clit, nipping and sucking on it until he felt the wetness gushing between her legs. She screamed out in ecstasy, holding his face to her as he continued the suction, throwing her into a second orgasm, more powerful than the first.

Not giving her time to recover, Spike moved up her body and swiftly plunged into her in one thrust, tearing through her virginity and imbedding himself inside her, trying to ignore the scent of blood that seemed to fill the room.

Buffy’s body tensed at the pain, automatically trying to withdraw from the source, but Spike easily pushed her into the mattress, rocking his hips against hers. She gasped when pain subsided and pleasure took over. His mouth met hers, and she moaned at the taste of herself on his tongue.

Pulling away, Spike looked into her eyes, seeing them clouded with lust and pain. “I’ll make it better, luv,” he whispered as his hips moved against hers. “You’ll see…you’ll feel so good…and I…oh shit,” he moaned, burying his face against her shoulder as he tried to hold off his orgasm.

“What is it?” Buffy asked nervously. “Did I do something wrong?”

“You’re so bloody tight, Slayer,” he gasped, pulling halfway out to slide back in with ease.

“Buffy,” she whispered, causing his eyes to raise to hers.

“What?”

“Call me Buffy tonight,” she said softly, her hips lifting slightly to let him penetrate even deeper.

“Buffy,” he whispered sending thrills shooting through her when his lips met hers in a tender kiss, sucking her bottom lip into his mouth and pushing into her with more force. “Do you trust me, Buffy?” he asked a moment later.

“You know I do,” she said without thinking, her back arching her against him. Spike’s hand slid up, putting gentle pressure on her breast and giving it a light squeeze as Buffy braced her feet against the bed, changing their angle and letting him get even deeper as she sought more contact.

“Fuck,” Spike groaned, losing control as he pounded into her welcoming body, his hand snaking around to hold onto her, keeping her as close as possible.

Buffy gasped as the thrusts became more forceful. She could feel the fire inside of her, reaching to inferno levels as he kept ramming into her. Uncaring that she would be bruised in the morning, Buffy eagerly met his thrusts.

“Love being inside of you,” Spike rasped. “Could stay here forever.” Buffy felt her eyes roll shut at his words, her fingernails clawing at his back, seeking her release, unknowingly leaving deep scratches along his skin. Spike could smell the scent of his blood mixing with hers and closed his eyes as he lost all coherent thought.

“Oh God, Spike…yes…like that…” Buffy trailed off with a scream, her inner muscles clenching him in a tight hold as he lost control, spilling himself inside of her. Before Buffy could come down from the pleasure she was feeling, her eyes snapped open when she felt his fangs plunge into her neck. She tried to scream, but it came out a choked sob as he viciously tore at her skin, taking deep pulls of her blood. “No,” she said in a soft voice, using what little strength she had to try and push him away. Tears spilled down her cheeks as she found her voice. “Spike…please, don’t do this!” she sobbed, using all of her strength and pushing him away.

Spike landed on the floor as Buffy frantically tried to fight the dizzy feelings, shakily getting to her feet as tears continued to fall. Her hand went up to her neck before she pulled it back and gasped when she saw that it was entirely covered in blood. She began backing toward the door as Spike shook his head, trying to clear it.

“How could you?” she asked in a choked whisper.

The brutality of the moment came back to him as the demon receded. Spike’s eyes widened when he took in her small, naked form backing away from him. The scent of her fear seemed to flood the room, and Spike had to fight his demon for control.

His mouth dropped open when he noticed the deathly pale tint of her skin, marred by the crimson flow of blood, seeping from the ragged bite mark on her neck.

“Buffy,” he whispered, getting to his feet, swallowing as he looked at the damage he’d inflicted on her without realizing it. He made his way toward her as she grabbed her coat off the floor, pulling it around her body and clutching at the front of it.

“Don’t come near me,” she said as her tears continued.

Spike could feel the power flowing through his veins from the intoxicating Slayer’s blood as he quickly approached. Buffy fearfully jumped away, throwing the door open and standing in the first rays of sunlight as he growled low in his throat, frustrated that she was so close and he couldn’t reach her.

“Buffy, listen-”

“No!” she said, shaking her head as she braced herself against the doorframe. “I trusted you and…I trusted you,” she repeated in a different tone. “That was my first mistake. Don’t come near me again.”

Spike was about to respond when she stepped outside, trying to get as far away from him as possible. Spike gritted his teeth together before turning to stare at the bed. The same bed they had occupied moments before. The building still reeked of lust and blood and fear.

‘Her fear,’ Spike thought to himself, closing his eyes for a brief moment before yelling out in frustration and breaking anything he could get his hands on.

A/N Keep in mind that this is still season 2 Spike. He’s subtly changing, but just remember he’s not season 6 Spike.

Chapter 11

Buffy managed to make it through her bedroom window and change into her
robe moments before her mother entered the room.

“You awake, honey?”

Buffy was barely able to hide the sigh of relief that she hadn’t been caught
as she sat on the edge of the bed and nodded, holding the top of the robe
closed.

Joyce walked forward with a worried expression on her face. “Are you
feeling okay?” she asked, feeling her daughter’s forehead. “You don’t look
so good.”

“I’m a little weak,” Buffy said truthfully, hoping that her mother would
leave before the blood began to seep through the thick terrycloth.

“Why don’t you stay home and rest today,” Joyce said as Buffy nodded. “I’ll
be working late, but I’ll make sure and check on you when I get home.”

“Thanks, Mom,” Buffy said with a soft smile as Joyce walked out of the room.

Buffy waited until she heard the click of the front door closing before
walking over to her vanity. Carefully peeling the layer of fabric away from
her neck, Buffy cringed at the damage. Even with Slayer healing, it would
take several days for the wound to close.

Buffy curled up on her bed and let more tears fall.

‘You had sex with a soulless monster,’ Buffy thought, mentally slapping
herself. ‘And you’re surprised by the outcome?’

* * * * *

Joyce entered her house later that night, quietly climbing the stairs and
checking on her daughter. She slowly pulled the door shut after seeing that
Buffy was asleep and walked back downstairs.

Fixing herself some hot chocolate, Joyce was surprised at the knock on the
door. She was even more surprised to see a handsome man on the other side.

“Mrs. Summers?”

“Yes,” Joyce replied in confusion.

“I’m William Sinclair,” he said with a friendly smile. “I hear you’re the
person to talk to if I’m looking to buy some art.”

“Well…yes, but I have a gallery for that.”

“I understand, but…this is kind of embarrassing,” he said with a sheepish
smile. “I have a very serious allergy to the sun…this is my only option.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” Joyce said with a smile. “Won’t you come in?”

Spike smiled as he crossed the threshold.

* * * * *

Buffy stirred in her sleep, slowly opening her eyes. She was surprised to
see her window open with the curtains fluttering in the cool breeze.

“Mom?” she called softly, sitting up in bed.

Panic ripped through her system when she felt a hand clamp down on her mouth
and a body pressing her into the bed. Buffy’s breathing sped up as her vision
focused in the dark room. Her eyes widened when she saw Spike lying on top
of her, and she immediately began squirming beneath him, trying to break his
hold.

“Easy, Slayer,” he said in a soothing tone. “I’m going to take my hand away,
and when I do, you’re going to be a good little girl and not scream, right?
I’d hate for something to happen to that lovely mum of yours.”

Buffy swallowed, realizing her mom must have invited him in as she nodded
her acceptance. Spike slowly took his hand away but kept his body in
place. He didn’t say anything for several long moments before tilting her
chin to look at the swollen skin, caked in dried blood, the remaining
evidence of his treatment of her earlier that morning.

He felt anger flow through his body as the demon burned below the surface
when he felt her body trembling beneath him.

“What?” he asked sharply as her eyes met with his.

Buffy looked into the blue depths, seeing flecks of amber sparking in them
as he held the demon at bay. “Wh-what are you doing here?” she asked in a
whisper.

“What do you think I’m doing here?” Spike challenged.

Buffy’s trembling worsened the more she tried to control it. “Please don’t
hurt me,” she whispered, the girl speaking instead of the Slayer.

Spike’s eyes flashed yellow for a brief moment. “Relax, Slayer. If I
wanted to fuck you, I would already be inside you right now.”

Instead of relief, Buffy felt tears come to her eyes as she looked away.
“Leave,” she said in a choked voice.

“No.”

Buffy’s eyes came back to his, her jaw clenching. “Why? Are you wanting to
finish what you started?”

“I didn’t bite you on purpose,” Spike said, softening his tone even though
the demon wanted to beat some sense into her.

“So your fangs just found their way into my jugular, but you had no
intention of hurting me?”

“Something like that.”

“Well, you did,” Buffy said, blinking back tears and turning away.
Involuntarily giving him a perfect view of his mark on her, Spike felt an
overwhelming sense of pride and…remorse.

‘You’re a vampire,’ he thought, trying to get control over his emotions.
‘You’re not supposed to feel bad about hurting the Slayer. You’re supposed
to be finishing the job. You could take her right now, just like this
morning, drain her dry and leave her.’

But he couldn’t. It pained him to even think of the girl beneath him,
losing the vibrant quality and turning into nothing but a dead shell.

“I’m not going to say I’m sorry for doing something in my nature,” Spike
said through clenched teeth. “You knew what you were getting into.”

Buffy finally turned back to look at him, both noticing how close their lips
were. How intimately entwined their bodies were. Spike saw the tears slip
down her cheeks and felt his undead heart clench, which also made him angry.

“Stop it,” he growled, his eyes narrowing as he looked at her.

Buffy’s chin quivered as Spike’s dominant nature came to the forefront.

“I said…stop it.”

Buffy continued to let her tears fall. “I don’t have to listen to you.”

Whatever scrap of control Spike was holding onto snapped. “Do you want to
test me?” he asked in a low tone.

She merely stared at him in a silent challenge. Spike angrily ripped away
the sheet that was separating them, his hands moving to her robe when her
soft voice entered his consciousness.

“Please don’t.”

Spike stopped, not because of the words, but because of her tone of voice.
It was the sound of soft acceptance if he’d decided to make good on his
threat, but at the same time, understanding what he was trying to do.

The demon viewed sex as dominance and who better to demonstrate that with
than the Slayer?

Spike took a deep, unneeded breath, sitting up as Buffy closed her robe a
little tighter. Spike leaned forward, putting his face in his hands as he
shut his eyes.

“What’s happening to me?” he asked himself.

Buffy heard the soft question as she sat up, moving closer to him and laying
her hand on his back. “You really didn’t mean to bite me?”

Spike pulled his hands away, seeing her reflection in the mirror…alone. “I
didn’t,” he said softly. “But I should have.”

“Do you want to kill me?”

Spike clenched his jaw, turning to face her and seeing the look in her eyes.
“I did.”

“I know that…but what about now?”

“I’m not supposed to want you,” he replied, not giving her a straight
answer.

“Do you love me?” she asked quietly.

Spike took a deep breath. “No.”

Buffy quickly hid the hurt on her face as she nodded, standing up and
walking over to the window. Spike sighed as he stood up, walking over to
her, not understanding the need to comfort her.

“It’s not that easy for a vampire to fall in love, kitten.”

Buffy nodded, hugging her arms around her body. “Have you ever been in
love?” she asked, staring out the window.

‘Now is not the time to bring up Drusilla,’ he thought. ‘You’re a
vampire…soulless demon…lie to her.’

“No,” he mumbled, perplexed at the feeling of guilt he felt.

“Do you care about me?” Buffy asked the question she’d wanted to ask him
that morning. At least, before everything went horribly wrong.

Spike stayed quiet, wrapping his arms around her waist and nuzzling her
tender neck. “What are you asking me, Buffy?”

“Would you care if I died?” she asked.

“I’ve already told you, pet-“

“No,” Buffy said, shaking her head, needing to get some kind of understanding
about the man behind her. “I know you don’t want to kill me anymore. I’m
asking you…if I died tomorrow…would you care?”

Spike’s arms tensed around her waist, giving her the answer she needed.
 

Spike looked at the window, sensing that he had an hour before sunrise. He
glanced at the sleeping girl in his arms, feeling a smile play on his lips
as she snuggled closer to him, seeking the comfort he was providing.

Gently brushing a soft kiss to her forehead, Spike began disentangling
himself from her when she stirred.

“No,” she murmured, her eyes still closed.

“I have to go, baby,” he whispered, wishing that he could hold her in his
arms all day.

“Just a few more minutes?” she asked, opening her eyes and giving him a
small pout. “Please.”

Spike smiled before giving her a small nod. “Okay…a few more, and then I
have to go.”

Buffy pulled Spike back to his previous position, slipping her hand under
his shirt and feeling the corded muscles that tensed beneath her touch as
her fingertips ran along his abdomen.

Spike closed his eyes, relaxing against her soft touch as she left soft
kisses along his neck. Spike felt a low rumble in his throat as she nibbled
on his tender flesh.

“Why would you want to do that, luv?” he asked in a teasing voice. Spike’s
eyes flew open when he felt her straddle him, pushing her lower body against
his. “Don’t start something you can’t finish,” he said in a warning tone,
one eyebrow raised.

“Wasn’t planning on it,” she said with a soft smile as she untied the sash
on her robe, letting the material slide away from her body.

Spike reminded himself that he didn’t need to breathe when Buffy moved
seductively against him. His hands grasped her hips, pulling her closer as
he grinded against her. Buffy leaned forward, leaving a tender kiss on his
lips. Her tongue never entered his mouth- they merely let their lips brush
together in gentle caresses.

Spike slowly broke away from her, letting his lips trail along her jaw and
down to her throat. He paused when he felt Buffy tense as he lightly
dragged his tongue over his bite mark. She immediately sat up, fear in her
eyes.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I can’t do this.”

Spike watched as she practically jumped off of him, slipping her robe on
before he stood up and caught her by the arms.

“Spike, don’t,” she whispered, panic in her voice.

“I’m not going to hurt you, luv,” he whispered. “What’s wrong?”

Buffy briefly closed her eyes, remembering the fear and vulnerability she’d
felt the day before. It only set her on edge again.

“If we…if you and I…”

“You’re worried I would bite you,” Spike said with a sigh.

“You could have killed me, Spike,” she whispered. “That’s not exactly a
feeling I want to get to know better…I’ve already felt it more than I’d
like.”

Spike couldn’t deny it. He had no control over the demon, and it was a
threat to her in any kind of intimate setting. He loosened his grip on her
shoulders, tightening his jaw as he looked out her window.

“I should go,” he mumbled, grabbing his duster off the end of the bed.

“I wish you wouldn’t,” Buffy said softly.

“This isn’t going to get easier, Slayer,” he growled in a harsh tone with
his hands gripping the window frame. “It was a good time…maybe we should
leave it at that.”

Spike waited for her response, his brow furrowing when none came. Turning
around, he saw Buffy hugging her arms around her body, fighting the tears in
her eyes as she looked at the floor.

“I’m sorry, kitten,” he said softly, his expression softening. He watched
as she raised her eyes to his before he threw his duster down with a sigh.
“I just don’t know what to do with this.”

“Me neither,” Buffy said in a choked whisper. She practically threw herself
into his arms as he walked back to her. Spike was grateful that he didn’t
need to breathe since her arms were holding him in a vice-like grip. “Can
I see you tonight?” she asked with a trembling voice.

“I don’t know, luv,” Spike whispered, holding her close.

Buffy nodded as she took a step back, looking out the window. “I guess you
should go,” she said softly.

“Buffy-“

“Sunrise,” she clarified, gesturing outside.

Spike followed her gaze with a heavy sigh. He slowly turned back to her,
letting his hand trail along her jaw, down to her neck. Spike tilted her
head slightly, looking at his mark. It wasn’t the neat puncture wound that
his victims usually wore. This one was jagged, showing the mark of his
teeth, not just his fangs. Even with her advanced Slayer-healing, this
would leave a scar.

Running a cool finger along the swollen skin, Buffy surprised both of them
by relaxing under his touch, feeling soothed by his tender caress.

“I’ll find you tonight,” he murmured, his hand never leaving her throat.

“Near the warehouse?” Buffy asked with a hopeful tone in her voice that she
would be seeing him soon.

“No,” Spike said softly as he shook his head. “That’s not…I’m not staying
there.”

“But I thought-“

“Leave it alone, Buffy,” he said quietly, trying to get her to drop the
subject without being forceful about it.

Buffy looked down as she nodded. Spike hooked his finger under her chin,
leaving a tender kiss on her lips, feeling his undead heart clench when she
gave him a soft smile.

“I’ll find you,” he repeated, pulling on his duster.

“Okay,” Buffy agreed, accepting another tender kiss from him before he
disappeared into the night.

* * * * *

Spike walked into the factory, noticing the tension coming from his minions
as they huddled in the shadows. He arched an eyebrow as he walked further
into the building, feeling something familiar that he hadn’t felt in
years…decades.

“William, I was beginning to think you’d abandoned your family. Now, is
that any way for a Master Vampire to behave?”

Spike turned around, a growl rumbling in his throat. “Angelus.”

Chapter 13

“How’ve you been?” Angelus asked as he wandered around the factory.

Spike stayed on guard as he watched the other man. “No complaints,” he
replied with as much nonchalance as he could muster. “Where’s Darla?”

“Oh, she didn’t really feel like making the trip on such short notice.”

Spike stared at the older vampire before calmly pulling out his cigarettes
and lighting one with deliberate ease. “Short notice?” he repeated as
Angelus approached him. “What are you doing here, Gramps?” Spike asked,
blowing smoke in his face.

“Heard my boy was going soft,” Angelus replied with an evil smirk. “Chasing
after the Slayer, but not for the obvious reasons. People are saying that
you’re in love with her.”

“Don’t know what you’re talking about, Angelus,” Spike replied. “Or what
business it is of yours.”

“I’d say it’s my business when what you do affects me and my life.”

“Affects you?” Spike repeated with a laugh. “In case you’ve forgotten,
mate,” he continued, practically spitting out the words. “I’m the only
member of the Order of Aurelius that has killed not one, but TWO slayers.
How many have you killed, or even fought for that matter?” he asked,
watching as Angelus’ expression darkened. “That’s what I thought, so why
don’t you sod off?”

“Then why are you having difficulties with the newest little spitfire?” the
other vampire asked. “The Chinese Slayer didn’t last more than one fight,
and what’s her name from New York was gone after no more than two rounds.
What’s the problem with this one?”

“No problems,” Spike replied, his mind flashing to Buffy straddling him
less than an hour before, her naked body on top of his as she leaned forward
to kiss him. “I have her exactly where I want her. Now if you’ll excuse
me, I need to get some sleep.”

Angelus raised an eyebrow and smirked as Spike disappeared into the back of
the factory.

* * * * *

“What’s the what, Giles?” Buffy asked, walking into the library after school
and throwing her backpack down on the table, with Willow and Xander
following closely behind.

“Well,” Giles began. “We’ve located a nest of vampires that needs to be
dealt with as soon as possible.”

“Okay, I’ll make a pass tonight and-“

“I really think daylight is the best option, Buffy,” Giles said in his
‘Watcher’ voice. “The rest of us can go with you to give you any assistance
you may need, but-“

“Fine, Giles. When do you want to go?”

* * * * *

“I have a question for you, Willie,” Angelus said, sitting in a chair and
propping his feet up on the long table as Spike finally reappeared. Angelus
was beginning to get impatient but kept his temper in check as his
grandchilde approached.

“It’s Spike,” he growled in response, keeping a careful eye on the other
man.

“When was the last time you made a kill?” he asked, watching the blonde with
interest.

Spike’s eyes widened when he realized that he hadn’t killed anyone since his
feelings had changed for Buffy. He merely fed and discarded the dazed
humans, never giving them a second thought. Never giving his actions a
second thought…until now. “Last night,” he lied with practiced ease.

“You’re probably getting hungry then,” Angelus replied with a smirk.

“Not like I can do anything about it until sundown,” Spike arching one
eyebrow, wondering what he was getting to.

“I think we can do something to rectify that,” Angelus said with a broad
smile, climbing to his feet and snapping his fingers at the minions behind
him. Spike watched with a feeling of dread as two of them disappeared into
one of the hallways while Angelus walked in a circle around Spike.
“Consider it a…housewarming gift,” he said with a devilish smile as he kept
a careful eye on the blonde.

Spike eyed him warily, but his attention was soon drawn to the hallway as a
girl was dragged out by two of the minions.

‘No problem,’ Spike thought. ‘Kill the chit and get the old ponce off your
back. You’re still a demon- it’s not like you haven’t done it before.’

As the girl got closer, Spike felt his stomach drop when he noticed the
strong resemblance to Buffy. The girl’s hair was a little longer, but it
was the same shade of blonde. Her eyes were the same color of green.
Angelus had really done his homework when he thought of this little
‘present’.

‘My Grandsire and his fucked up mind games,’ Spike thought bitterly.

“Go ahead, Spikey,” Angelus said with a grin. “Enjoy.”

Spike swallowed hard as the girl looked at him with pleading eyes. He
tightened his jaw, bringing his demon forth before quickly snapping the
girl’s neck and sinking his fangs into her jugular, ignoring the nagging
feeling in the pit of his stomach as he drained the lifeless body.

He let the limp bundle fall to the floor, staring at his grandsire when the
doors to the factory burst open. A flurry of activity seemed to overwhelm
the vampires as the minions who tried to fight off the intruders began
dwindling in numbers. Spike was about to join in the fight against whoever
dared to disturb his home when the crowd seemed to part and he caught a
glimpse of the woman who had spent last night in his arms.

Buffy quickly staked a vampire, moving further into the factory and stopping
cold when she saw the two vampires. Her ‘spidey sense’ was practically
making her recoil from the power of the two men, seconds before she realized
who was standing there.

Spike reverted back to his human face as Buffy stared at him with wide eyes,
seconds before turning her gaze to the dead girl at his feet.

She felt like she was moving in slow motion, putting the pieces together.
The girl, who, from this angle, bore an uncanny resemblance to her, Spike
being in demon form moments ago, the blood that was still dripping from his
lips…

Buffy put her hand to her mouth as she felt the bile rise in her throat.
“Oh my God.”
 

“Oh my God,” Buffy repeated before slowly backing away from the sight
before her, uncaring of any possible danger that could be behind her. She
was more focused on the danger in front of her.

Spike watched her, putting an impassive look on his face as she bumped into
her Watcher.

“Buffy?” Giles asked, keeping a careful eye on the two vampires.

“Get out of here, Giles,” Buffy said in a low tone.

“Buffy-“

“I said get out.”

Spike felt his body calling for hers as she shoved her Watcher and friends
out into the sunlight. With one last look at Spike, Buffy felt the tears
gathering in her eyes before she followed them.

“Well, that couldn’t have gone better if I’d planned it,” Angelus said with a
gleeful smile.

Spike shot his grandsire a menacing look as Angelus stared him down.

“So, you claimed her without her knowledge, did you?” the older vampire
asked with a smirk. “I could smell your scent all over her. Strange how
she didn’t want to stick around, considering how much you’ve ‘bonded’,” he
said with a laugh before disappearing to the back of the factory.

Spike slowly approached the door that Buffy had gone through, careful to
avoid the light as he silently willed the sun to go down.

* * * * *

“Would you like to tell me why we just ran out of there?” Giles asked,
looking over at Buffy as she hugged her arms around her body.

Willow gave her friend a nervous look, having recognized one of the vampires
as Spike, vaguely remembering seeing the blonde at the Bronze.

“Um…they were too powerful,” Buffy replied, avoiding Giles’ eyes. “Both of
them together…I never would have been able to take them on.”

“Well, that’s why we were there, Buff,” Xander replied.

Buffy shook her head. “It’s too dangerous,” she replied as she caught
Willow looking at her. “You guys stay inside tonight, I’ll patrol.”

Giles knew there was more to the story but decided to leave the young girl
alone. She carried the weight of the world on her shoulders. If she didn’t
feel up to fighting, then he couldn’t push her to it.

* * * * *

Buffy was hurriedly packing a bag for her mother when she heard the front
door open and close.

“Buffy?”

“I’m upstairs,” Buffy called, zipping up the bag.

“What’s going on?” Joyce asked, standing in the doorway.

“I need you to go stay with some friends tonight,” Buffy replied.

“This is unexpected,” Joyce said, sitting down on her bed. “And why are you
kicking me out of my own house?"

“Mom, we need to talk about some things.”

“Such as?”

“Mom…I’m a vampire slayer.”

* * * * *

“How did she take it?” Willow asked.

Buffy propped the phone between her shoulder and her ear as she checked over
her weapons. “Better than I expected, but still not great.”

“Understandable,” Willow replied. “Now tell me what’s going on with you.”

“What do you mean?” Buffy asked, a tremor making its way into her voice.

“I saw your reaction in the factory, Buffy,” Willow said gently. “What
happened between you and Spike?”

“How long do you have?” Buffy asked with a small laugh before sighing.
“He’s just…he’s been so nice, Wills. Well…as nice as a soulless monster can
be.”

“What does that mean?”

“He’s temperamental and stubborn and…and I thought I was falling in love
with him,” Buffy trailed off in a whisper.

“Oh,” Willow said in a soft, shocked tone. “And now?”

“I let myself forget,” Buffy whispered. “Who he was…what he was.”

“Do you think you can kill him?”

“I slept with him, Willow,” she said softly, feeling tears streaming down
her cheeks. “I know it was probably a mistake, but he…”

“He…what?”

“He made me feel things that I never…and now a demon has an all access pass
to my house and what am I supposed to do?”

“I don’t know, Buffy.”

Buffy slowly looked up and saw the sun setting.

“Are you going patrolling tonight or waiting for him to come to you?”

“I haven’t really thought that far ahead,” Buffy said softly. “Although, my
house probably isn’t the best place for a fight.”

“And if he just wants to talk?”

“I don’t know if I can…I just feel like I’ve been manipulated. He killed a
girl that looks like me, Willow. Right before we walked in, and what if…what
if I had just been a minute earlier?”

“I’m sorry,” Willow said quietly. “But you can’t go through life with ‘what
ifs’.”

“You’re right. I better go.”

“Be careful, Buffy.”

“I promise,” she replied before disconnecting the call.

Buffy took a deep breath before grabbing her weapons.

* * * * *

Buffy twirled a stake as she sat on a headstone later that night. She
hadn’t seen or sensed Spike, and she was feeling grateful for that.

As soon as the thought crossed her mind, Buffy’s senses heightened as she
felt someone get close to her.

Springing off the headstone, Buffy scanned the area looking for the
presence. The feeling confused her as she looked around, sensing Spike, but
unsure whether it was him or not.

“You’re the Slayer,” a calm voice said in the darkness.

“Who’s asking?”

Buffy watched as a tall dark-haired man appeared from behind a crypt. He
looked vaguely familiar, and Buffy’s mind flashed back to the factory,
remembering he was the vampire next to Spike.

“Who are you?”

“You don’t know?” he asked in a mocking tone. “I would have thought they’d
have the Slayer do her research.”

“I’m not much for homework,” Buffy replied, crossing her arms over her
chest. “Stake through the heart, sunlight- it’s all pretty clear to me.”

“I don’t think you should be trying that, Slayer.”

“Why’s that?”

“Because then who will tell you what you want to know about Spike?”

“I know him pretty well,” Buffy replied skeptically. “I’ve never seen you
before. How do you know him?”

“I’m family.”

“Family?”

“The name’s Angelus…heard of me?”

“Can’t say that I have.”

Buffy saw a flash of disappointment on his face and had to suppress a smirk.

“What are you planning on telling me?”

“Has Spike ever mentioned Drusilla?”

“Who?”

‘The woman he was in love with,” Angelus replied.

Buffy felt her stomach drop as she stared at the man. “H-he said he’s never
been in love,” she said softly.

Angelus let out a loud bark of laughter. “He lied.”

Buffy walked into her house feeling emotionally drained as she headed up the
stairs to her room. Closing her bedroom door behind her, Buffy leaned
against it, letting the tears spill down her cheeks as her hands covered her
face before running through her hair.

She nearly jumped out of her skin when she sensed his presence. She had
been too distracted with her emotions, but now her eyes snapped open,
adjusting to the dark room. She felt her breathing speed up when she saw
him sitting on her bed, his hands clasped in front of him as he watched her
in the dim light.

“Buffy-“

“What the hell are you doing here?” she asked in a low tone, setting her jaw
in preparation of what was to come.

Spike stood up, about to respond, when Buffy crossed the room, letting her
fist fly into his nose. Spike immediately backhanded her, more out of
reflex than necessity. Buffy reeled back, her hand coming up to her jaw as
she looked at him in surprise.

Spike’s eyes widened. “Buffy, I didn’t-“

His words were immediately cut off as Buffy kicked him in the stomach and
threw another punch at his jaw. Spike grabbed her shoulders, throwing her
into the door and covering her body with his, repressing any further
movements from her.

“Stop it,” he growled before his lips crashed down on hers.

Buffy resisted for a brief moment before kissing him back, battling his
mouth with hers. A new fight was created with their teeth and tongues.
Spike’s hands went to the waist of her jeans, practically ripping the pants
and her panties away from her body. Buffy pulled back for a brief moment,
before pushing him onto the floor and straddling him.

Spike stared at the woman above him. Her chest heaving as she panted for
air, her hair spilling around her shoulders as she stared into his eyes.
Buffy grabbed his shirt, ripping it open and letting the buttons fly
everywhere, while whipping off her own shirt and bra.

Spike felt his eyes flash amber as he watched her run her fingernails down his chest
leaving deep scratches and reaching to unbutton his pants, jerking them down his hips.
For good measure, Buffy threw another punch at his face, gasping when
Spike rolled them and entered her in one swift movement, not giving her time
to adjust as he plunged into her.

Buffy began to gasp and moan, trying not to get lost in the sensations. She
was rapidly losing the battle of wills before Angelus’ voice entered her
subconscious. *They were in love for over one hundred years. I’ve never
seen a man more devoted to a woman.*

Tears built up in her eyes as Spike’s words haunted her.

*It’s not that easy for a vampire to fall in love, kitten.*

Angelus seemed to overlap her memory, blurring with Spike’s voice. *He
loved her from the beginning. Dru just brought him home one night, and he
was whipped from that point on.*

Buffy’s tears finally spilled over as she slapped Spike.

“I hate you.”

Spike seemed surprised for a brief moment before his calm mask fell back
into place.

“I hate you!” Buffy screamed, pounding on his chest.

“I know,” Spike said quietly, never stopping his movements and noticing that
Buffy’s hips were still rising off the ground to meet his thrusts.

“I hate you,” she whispered. Spike noticed it sounded more like ‘I love
you’ but didn’t say anything.

Tears continued to stream down her cheeks as he plunged into her. “I hate
you,” she whispered again, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him
closer to her. “I hate you, I hate you, I hate you…”

Spike held her, kissing along her shoulder and neck, realizing that she
wasn’t tensing up from having him so close to her. He continued his
movements and soothing gestures as she cried and weakly pounded her fists
against him. He squeezed his eyes shut, knowing that she was too
overwrought with emotions that she didn’t know what to do.

Buffy could feel her heart racing as they violently thrust against each
other. Spike felt her body trembling beneath him. He thought it was her
quiet sobs at first, but soon realized that she was seeking her climax. He
pushed into her with renewed vigor, sending her over the edge with a
strangled cry.

Spike closed himself off to everything. His emotions, the demon…her.
Seconds later, he was following her over the edge but was so detached from
the situation there was no danger of his demon coming out. This was an act
of release, not intimacy…for both of them.

Buffy’s walls were still fluttering around him when she shoved him away,
climbing to her feet. Spike watched as she searched through her wardrobe,
pulling out fresh clothes and quickly dressing as he buttoned his
jeans. Spike looked up and saw her putting on her shoes.

“Look, pet, I know you’re mad about the girl, and I’m...”

Spike stopped when Buffy’s eyes snapped up to his, confusion etched on her
features.

“The…oh my God,” she murmured, her hand coming up to cover her mouth as
fresh tears slipped free. She had completely forgotten about the dead girl
in the factory. She was too consumed with jealousy and hatred and something
else that she really didn’t want to identify to remember what had occurred
earlier in the day.

Spike took a step forward, tilting his head in uncertainty. “You didn’t
remember?”

Buffy turned away from him, biting her lip as she tried to push down the
anguish inside of her. She had just screwed a soulless demon who she was
sworn to kill. Spike slipped behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist
and preparing for the blow that never came.

“Then what’s wrong?” he asked, not surprised when Buffy pulled away from
him. She slowly turned around to look him in the eyes before speaking.

“Were you ever going to tell me about Drusilla?”

Spike’s eyes widened as his body froze.

Chapter 16

“Who was she?” Buffy asked, testing the waters as she crossed her arms over
her chest, staring at Spike.

“What do you know?” Spike retaliated.

“Why should that matter?” Buffy asked. “Are you planning on lying to me
again?”

“Damn it, Slayer, you weren’t supposed to find out about her!”

Buffy set her mouth in a hard line before turning away from him to stare
out the window. “That was made crystal clear,” she muttered under her
breath.

Spike heard the quiet statement and sighed. “There was never a good time to
tell you,” he said softly, moving to wrap his arms around her waist. Buffy
swatted his hands away, whirling around to face him with fire in her eyes.

“How about the time I asked you if you’d ever been in love?”

Spike clenched his jaw, taking a step forward. Buffy suddenly sensed the
power he exuded as she took a step back. “You’re treating me like I’m one
of your soddin’ boyfriends, Slayer,” he growled. “I’m not human. I don’t
give a shit about your feelings…or you, for that matter.”

“Is that a fact?” Buffy replied, getting more enraged as she took a step
toward him. “Then I guess it won’t bother you if I go to one of my ‘soddin’
boyfriends’ to fill the needs you won’t be meeting.”

“Tread lightly, little girl,” Spike replied in a menacing whisper.

“Why should I start now? You don’t care about me, why should I care about
you?”

Spike grabbed Buffy’s arm in a bruising grip as she tried to walk past him.
She immediately shrugged him off, only to have him grab her shoulders.
Buffy didn’t hesitate as she struck out at him, landing a solid hit to his nose,
sending him reeling backward, only to be met with a powerful high kick to his
head. She ran downstairs and out the front door, slamming it behind her.

“Keep the damn house for all I care,” Buffy grumbled, wishing that she could
run into a demon so she could work off some of her aggression.

She broke into a run, wanting to put as much distance between herself and
the bleached vampire as possible. She stopped when she felt a powerful
sensation wash over her. Before she had a chance to react, Buffy was
practically jerked off her feet when she felt two hands wrap around her neck
in a choking grip.

* * * * *

Spike followed Buffy’s scent to a nearby park, breaking into a run when he
caught the scent of her blood. He felt his heart seize in his chest when he
saw Buffy in Angelus’ arms, his fangs deep in her neck.

“NO!”

Angelus looked up as Spike approached. “Any closer and I snap her neck.”

Spike gulped as he listened, catching the faint heartbeat and saw her eyes
open. She was pale with the blood loss, and Spike felt his demon howl at the
fact that Angelus had reopened the wounds he’d left on her neck mere days
ago, covering Spike’s bite with his own.

Buffy struggled to stand up straighter, fighting for her strength to return
as Angelus laughed at her.

“What the hell do you want, Angelus?”

“I thought that would be obvious, Willie. I want her.”

“No,” Spike growled.

“Fall in line, Spike,” Angelus hissed at him. “What’s yours is mine.
Haven’t you figured that out by now?”

“Funny thing about ‘the line’, Gramps,” Spike replied. “It only matters if
you give a damn about it…she’s mine!”

Spike kept a careful eye on Buffy as his grandsire’s hold tightened around
her small form.

“And besides,” Spike continued. “What will Darla say?”

“Who do you think brings me my playthings? You lived with us for decades
and you don’t remember? She brought you quite a few toys of your own, if I
remember correctly.”

Spike saw Buffy shudder at Angelus’ words. “Let her go,” he said in a low
tone.

“Don’t worry. I’ll let you have one last go before I finish her off. I’m
sure she’s just full of stamina.”

Buffy’s eyes widened slightly, sending Spike a silent message, before
throwing her head back to connect with Angelus’ nose. He quickly stumbled
backward, howling in pain as Buffy collapsed. Spike felt torn for a brief
second but immediately leapt on his grandsire, pummeling the older vampire
while he was still throbbing from the previous hit.

Buffy gasped for air, trying to overcompensate for her blood loss as she
watched Angelus flip Spike over his head and regain the upper-hand. Spike
jumped to his feet, both circling the area, keeping a close eye on each
other as their demons snarled.

Buffy tried to search her pockets, hoping for a stake, when she remembered
she wasn’t wearing the same clothes she had on earlier. She could see a
small sign sticking out of the ground, but it was at least twenty feet away.
Praying that the sign was attached to something wooden, Buffy painfully
pushed herself to her feet, trying to make her way to the potential weapon.

Spike glanced at Buffy, his eyes widening slightly before Angelus turned
toward her as well. Spike felt his heart clench when his grandsire rushed
at her with a snarl. He quickly looked in the direction Buffy was heading
and felt his body flood with relief when she reached for the small sign in
the ground, before her small form was thrown to the ground.

Spike ran as fast as he could, snatching the sign out of the ground and
thrusting it into Angelus’ back, piercing the unbeating heart, before his
fangs were able to sink into her jugular for a second time. He felt a tiny
pull when he watched his grandsire explode into dust but quickly pushed the
feeling away when he saw the weakened Slayer.

“Buffy,” he said softly, falling to his knees in the soft grass. “Stay with
me, luv.”

“Spike,” Buffy said weakly. “Am I dying?”

Spike clenched his jaw, listening to her heartbeat and noting that it was
stronger than he would have expected.

“No,” Spike said gently, running his hands through her hair before hoisting
her into his arms. “You’re the Slayer,” he continued with a reassuring
smile as she rested her head against his chest. “It takes a lot more than a
little bite to take you down.”

“Where are we going?” she whispered.

“I’m going to get you some help, luv.”

“I thought you didn’t care about me.”

Spike took a deep, unneeded breath. “I lied.”

A/N I was going to have Angelus stick around a little longer, but this story was ultimately about Spike changing and I wanted to keep the focus there. Please review!

Chapter 17

Buffy felt the clouds slowly fading away when she opened her eyes. A
sterile smell filled her senses and she could feel pressure on her hand as
she struggled to remain conscious.

“Buffy?”

Slowly turning her head, she was surprised to see Spike sitting at her
side, holding her hand.

“How are you feeling, luv?”

Buffy opened her mouth to reply, but quickly closed it when she felt as if
it was filled with cotton. Taking a deep breath and swallowing as hard as
she could, Buffy tried again. “What are you doing here?” she asked in a
raspy whisper.

“I was worried about you,” he said softly.

Flashes of her memory began to come back as she remembered what happened.
“You didn’t let him kill me,” she whispered in confusion.

“No,” he whispered, watching as Buffy turned to look at him.

“Why?” she asked, tilting her head as she watched him.

“Why do you think?”

Buffy turned away with tears glistening in her eyes. “Because you want the
honor for yourself,” she said in a choked whisper.

Spike’s hand immediately came up to grasp her chin in a strong grip. “Do
you really believe that?”

“I don’t know what to believe anymore,” Buffy whispered as tears spilled
down her cheeks.

Spike took a deep breath before standing and pacing in small circles around
the hospital room. “So…this is the moment of truth, is it?” he muttered,
rubbing the back of his neck before facing her again. “What do you want
to know?”

“Drusilla,” Buffy said simply.

Spike opened his mouth to respond but paused when a nurse walked into the
room.

“Oh, you’re awake,” the cheery woman said with a smile, handing Buffy some
water. Buffy eagerly swallowed the liquid, breathing a sigh of relief that
her cotton-mouth was gone. “How are you feeling?”

Buffy gave a slight shrug. “As good as can be expected.”

“Good,” she said with a grin. “I’ll send the doctor in, whenever he gets a
chance. Right now you get some rest.” The woman turned to walk out the
door but stopped with her hand on the handle, turning back to face them.
“You should really get some rest, too,” she said to Spike before turning to
Buffy. “Your boyfriend has been worried sick. I’ve never seen a man so
concerned.”

Buffy turned her gaze back to Spike as the woman left. “Is that true?”

“I thought I’d lost you,” he said softly.

Buffy took a deep breath, wanting to ignore the comment until the truth was out. “Okay…back on topic.”

“Right,” Spike said with a nod. “Dru…Dru was my sire.”

“And you loved her,” Buffy whispered, already knowing this part of the
story. “What happened?”

“She died,” Spike said quietly, raising his eyes to Buffy’s, trying to gauge
her reaction.

Buffy nervously played with the blanket, swallowing the lump in her throat.
“I killed her,” she stated.

“How did you…”

Buffy looked up at him with sad eyes. “If it wasn’t me, then who? You came
to Sunnydale wanting my blood, being Mr. Cryptic and saying that you had
your reasons for wanting me dead. Are you telling me I didn’t dust her?”

“You did,” he whispered. “In Los Angeles.”

Buffy thought back to the summer, remembering the woman in the alley. Her
hand unconsciously drifted to her abdomen, which still housed the scar from
the attack. Spike watched her hand, coming over to sit next to her on the
bed. His own hand slipped underneath hers, gently caressing her stomach
through the thin fabric of the hospital gown.

“Am I supposed to feel sorry?” Buffy asked, more harshly than she intended.

Spike’s brow furrowed as he looked at her. “It might be a nice gesture,” he
mumbled, pulling his hand away and standing up.

Buffy looked in the opposite direction, taking deep breaths to control her
emotions. “She was a vampire, I’m the Slayer…should I be reading you the
warning label?”

Spike turned around with amber flashing in his eyes. “I don’t know,
Slayer…should you?”

Buffy looked at him, tightening her jaw to keep her chin from quivering
anymore than it was. She gave him a hard look before throwing the sheets
away from her frail body and climbing out of the bed.

“What the bloody hell do you think you’re doing?” Spike asked, walking
around the bed to grab her arm.

Buffy pulled free of his grasp, grabbing her jeans off the pile of clothes
on the chair and slipping them on. “Leaving,” she stated simply before
pulling the IV out of her hand, wincing at the twinge of pain.

Spike watched her in shock as she turned her back to him and let the gown
slip from her shoulders. He controlled his reaction to seeing her naked
form, but just barely as he watched her pull her shirt over her head and
slip her shoes on.

“You shouldn’t be leaving, Slayer,” he finally said in a low tone. “You’re
not well.”

“What does it matter?” Buffy asked, turning around throwing her arms in the
air. “Slayer healing, remember?”

Spike watched for a moment as she turned and made her way out the door,
bracing herself against the wall for balance.

“Buffy,” he called, chasing her to the elevator when he snapped out of his
daze. Slipping in before the doors shut, Spike pushed her against the wall,
looking deep into her eyes for a long moment. “What the hell got your knickers in a twist?”

“Get away from me, Spike,” she whispered, tears threatening to fall.

“What-“

Spike was cut off as Buffy shoved him away, walking through the doors as
they opened. With a heavy sigh, he followed her out of the hospital into the
night air. After a few moments of silence, Spike finally spoke. “Are you
mad because I finally told you the truth?”

“I’m mad because you wish she was here instead of me,” Buffy said softly,
stopping when she felt Spike grab her arm.

“What?”

“You expect me to feel sorry for killing her…if she didn’t die, then I would
have and that’s what you really want.”

Spike’s stomach dropped as tears began to slip down her cheeks. “I never
said that,” he whispered.

“But it’s what you want,” Buffy murmured, walking away from him.

“Bloody hell, woman, I just killed my grandsire for you!”

Buffy stopped, nervously biting her lip as she turned to face him. Her eyes
were downcast, but Spike could still see the tears clinging to her cheeks.
“I can’t do this, Spike,” she whispered in a heartbreaking voice.

“Can’t do what, luv?” he asked, his tone softening as he wrapped his arms
around her waist.

“I can’t compete with someone you loved for over a century…someone I took
away from you, I just can’t…”

Buffy trailed off in a choked sob as Spike pulled her closer, letting one
hand come up to the back of her head, stroking her hair as she cried.
“There’s no competition, kitten,” he whispered. “You’re here, she’s not.
End of story.”

Buffy clung to his duster, scared that if she let him go, he would disappear.
“I love you,” she whispered through her sobs. “I love you so much and it
scares me to death.”

Spike took a deep breath, trying to keep his own tears at bay, letting his
head drop to her shoulder and leaving a gentle kiss in his wake. “I know,”
he whispered, feeling her relax in his arms. “I love you, too.”

A week later, Spike timidly knocked on the door, shoving his hands in his pockets
as he stood back and waited. It had been a week since he’d seen Buffy. He
had called her earlier in the week to check on her, but he was missing her.

Judging by Joyce Summers' reaction when she opened the door, Spike guessed
that Buffy had come clean with her mother about who he really was.

“Miss Summers,” he said in polite greeting, ducking his head so she wouldn’t
be as nervous.

Joyce slowly removed her hand from her heart and offered Spike a nervous
smile. “Hello.”

“Is Buffy home?” he asked softly, watching as Joyce nodded.

“Come in. I’ll just…go get her.”

Spike watched her hasty retreat up the stairs and waited until Buffy made
her way down before he entered the house. He gave her a gentle smile
before frowning when he saw how she was wringing her hands together.

“What’s wrong, luv?” he asked, wrapping his arms around her waist.

“I thought you’d left,” Buffy said softly. “I haven’t seen you in a while.”

“I know, baby,” he whispered, nuzzling her hair. “I’ve been busy, but I’m
here now.”

Buffy nodded, raising her lips to his to accept a tender kiss.

“I want to show you something,” Spike whispered after pulling away. “Will
you come with me?”

“Yeah,” Buffy said softly, motioning for him to stay there while she went to
tell her mother she was leaving.

“Ready, pet?” Spike asked when she reappeared.

“Yeah,” she replied, smiling when he took her hand in his, leading her out of
the house. “Where are we going?”

“It’s a surprise,” he said with a smile.

* * * * *

Fifteen minutes later, Spike led Buffy up the path to a small house.
“Surprise.”

Buffy looked at him in confusion before her eyes widened. “This is yours?”

“This is ours,” Spike murmured, pulling her closer to him.

“So this is what you’ve been doing for the last week?” Buffy asked, looking
back and forth between him and the house.

Spike led her forward, opening the door. “No…this only took a day or two to
work out.”

“Then where have you been?” Buffy asked, following him through the door and
looking around at the spacious living room.

Spike took a deep breath, shutting the door behind her. “I’ve been
hunting.”

Buffy tensed, her entire body going rigid as she backed away from him.
Spike’s eyes widened as he realized what Buffy was thinking before
frantically shaking his head.

“That’s not what I meant,” he said, approaching her slowly.

Buffy seemed to relax slightly. “Then what did you mean?”

“I’ve been finding the minions I created,” Spike said softly.

Buffy’s mouth dropped open. “All of them?”

“No,” Spike said softly. “I’ve been around for over a century- it would be
impossible to find them all, but I’ve taken care of this area.”

Buffy felt her eyes watering with tears as she bit her lip, trying to keep
them at bay before throwing herself into his arms, kissing him passionately.

Pulling away after a moment, Spike smiled down at her. “I didn’t expect
that kind of reaction.”

“I can’t believe you would do that,” Buffy said softly, tracing her hand
along the sharp contours of his cheekbones.

“I’d do that and a lot more, luv. All you have to do is ask.”

“Make love to me?” she asked innocently as Spike’s eyes burned amber with
desire.

“Are you sure?” he asked, his body already reacting to hers.

Buffy nodded before stepping back and slowly pulling her shirt over her
head. Spike momentarily forgot that he didn’t need to breathe as her golden
skin was exposed. He quickly shed his own clothes, reaching toward her and
stripping her of any remaining clothing.

Buffy gave him a soft smile, pulling him toward her and meeting his lips in
a tender kiss, maneuvering them until Spike found himself lying on top of
her. His eyes squeezed shut when he felt her warm hand encircle his length,
leading him to her entrance.

Spike inhaled sharply as he slowly sunk into her body, listening to her gasp
of pleasure when he filled her. Pulling back to look into each other’s
eyes, Spike gave her a gentle smile before slowly thrusting into her.

Buffy eagerly met his thrusts, building up the intensity between them until
Spike was fighting the demon from coming to the surface. He pressed his
face against her neck, hoping to pacify it for the time being and
delighting in the fact that Buffy wasn’t pulling away from him.

A frown came over his face at the familiar scent, and Spike growled when he
recognized his grandsire’s mark on the woman he loved. Buffy tensed
momentarily before grabbing the back of his head and pulling him closer to
her. “Do it,” she whispered.

Spike shook his head, not trusting himself to speak.

“Spike,” she said softly. “I trust you…you won’t hurt me.”

“It’s too dangerous,” he said in a husky whisper.

Buffy arched her back, causing Spike to moan as their hips grinded together.
She smiled when an idea formed before pulling back to look him in the
eyes. “Do you really want me to carry Angelus’ mark on me?”

Spike involuntarily slipped into his demon’s face, taking a deep breath
before sinking his fangs into her tender skin, making sure to keep ‘William’
close to the surface as he took a few pulls of blood. Pulling away, Spike’s
human mask fell into place as he looked into Buffy’s eyes. “Mine.”

“Yours,” she agreed before pulling him closer to her and arching against
him once more, screaming out her orgasm as Spike clung to her, following her
over the edge.

Slowly pulling away, Spike gently kissed her lips, seeing tears shimmering
in her eyes.

“I love you,” she whispered with a smile.

“I love you,” he replied. “Just you…forever.”

THE END

A/N I left a lot of plotlines open for a sequel if enough people want one. This fic was a lot longer than I originally intended, it was going to be about ten chapters so I’m glad you stuck with me! Thanks to everyone who reviewed and e-mailed. A little side note- I finally got my LJ up and running. Username: ashlee_999 now all I need are some friends :-)
 

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