Daughter of Prophecy
by Ashlee

A/N This is a little different from anything I’ve written, but I’m proud of it, so I hope you like it. Throughout the course of the story, there will be a few mentions of the Slayer- Lucy Hanover (brownie points if you remember her). She (for the most part) lived the life of the Buffy we know. There will be a few differences, but not many (the main difference being- she was never resurrected after the occurrences of The Gift) and since the pregnancy storyline of Angel takes place during season 6 of Buffy- this story picks up at that time. Some of the dialogue in chapter one belongs to Joss Whedon and Tim Minear.

Chapter 2 – Unmixy Relationships


“I guess everything changes tomorrow,” Buffy said softly, slowly pacing among the headstones in the cemetery.

“What makes you say that, pet?” Spike asked, glancing at her before turning back to scan the area.

“Senior year…first day of school…ringing any bells?”

“Oh, um, right. Yeah, course.”

“You didn’t remember,” Buffy said, rolling her eyes to cover up the pang of hurt she felt that he didn’t remember something so important in her life.

“I did,” Spike replied indignantly. “I just forgot, that’s all.”

“And another word for forgetting is- not remembering,” she retaliated, hopping up on a tombstone.

“That’s two words,” he said with a smirk.

“Here’s another two: smart ass,” she muttered with a smile.

“And why are you out this late on a school night, anyway?”

Briefly looking like a deer caught in the headlights, Buffy froze before shrugging. “Why not?” she asked. “I get to work on my fighting skills and spend time with one of my favorite vampires in the process. It seems like a winning situation to me.”

“Yeah, and if Red finds out I have you out patrolling this late, she’ll have my head. Let’s get you home.”

“Home?” Buffy repeated in shock. “It’s not even midnight.”

“No, but it’s a school night.”

“Oh please. I hate that expression,” she said with a roll of her eyes. “‘School night’ is just a term for old fogies to use because they want to feel young again by staying up later than the kids.”

“Hey! Are you saying that’s me?”

“If the shoe fits,” Buffy replied with a smirk.

“Vampire, remember? I think it’s fairly safe to say that I stay up later than you every night.”

“Alright,” she finally conceded. “I’ll give you that one.”

“Come on, Goldilocks. I’m taking you home.”

Buffy gave a resigned sigh, accepting her fate.

“What’s wrong?” Spike asked with an amused grin.

“I just get sick of everyone treating me like a kid,” she replied, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Well,” he said slowly. “That’s because you are, princess.”

“Hello! Last time I checked, there wasn’t a lot that’s kid-like about me. I’ve been on dates, I’m about to graduate, I have boobs,” she said, gesturing to her chest.

‘God, don’t look,’ Spike thought, turning to look in the direction of the pretend noise that he just ‘heard’.

“I’m almost old enough to vote and buy cigarettes and I think it’s safe to say that I could have slept with my fair share of guys by now.”

Hearing the warning growl that was ripped from Spike’s throat, Buffy rolled her eyes.

“Not that I have. God, you’re worse than Dad.”

“Take that back,” Spike said, narrowing his eyes.

“Why?” Buffy challenged, crossing her arms over her chest and turning to face him. “You both worry too much and hit the roof over the littlest things. Maybe I should go out and sleep with someone, just get it out of the way, and then everyone can stop worrying.”

“You see?” he said, pointing at her to prove his point. “This is why people treat you like a kid. Because you’re acting like a spoiled brat.”

Seeing the pitiful look that crossed over her face, Spike immediately regretted the tactless remark.

“I’m sorry, kitten,” he whispered, feeling a pain in his heart when she began to walk away.

He knew he was wrong. Buffy was remarkably mature for her age. She’d already seen and battled more evil in this world than most people knew existed, proving to be a strong fighter when she needed to be. He couldn’t imagine what her life was really like behind the carefully crafted façade that she kept up twenty-four hours a day. He knew that Willow and Tara were trying their best. Dawn still made regular trips to the house, despite the fact that she was married and living in a different town. Giles was a constant figure in her life, and Xander and Anya provided a home that always welcomed her.

Spike made it known that she could stop by his crypt any chance she got, but he knew that behind the tough exterior was a girl who was screaming at the injustice that she’d been dealt. The daughter of two vampires, conceived out of hatred, her mother had to kill herself in order for her to live, her father had to virtually abandon her, even though it was the last thing he wanted, but he knew he had to keep her safe. She was merely trying to be a girl in this mixed up world that she knew as her life. But the fact remained that in spite of all of the love she’d always had, she still wanted the constant stability of her father in her life. She was lucky if she saw him a few times a year and Spike knew that every year it chipped away at who she really was, pushing the person she pretended to be further out of reach. She wasn’t a girl- she was a woman who hadn’t experienced enough of the right things in the world to have earned that title. She’d experienced enough to be called a warrior, and Spike wished that he could take everything away and turn her into the girl she was meant to be. Let her be someone who can experience the world with open eyes and bask in the light, not worry about what was hiding in the shadows.

“Buffy-”

“When does the Slayer get here?” she asked, cutting him off and trying to change the subject.

“Couple of days,” Spike muttered, still feeling bad for the comment.

“It’s going to be a little weird.”

“Why’s that, pet?”

“Well, it’s not like I’ve ever met any,” Buffy said with a shrug. “This is the first time the newest Slayer has been sent to the Hellmouth. It’s just going to take some getting used to.”

“Yeah,” he muttered, reaching into his pocket for his lighter and cigarettes.

“You nervous?”

“Why would I be nervous?” Spike asked too quickly.

“Well…considering the chip malfunctioned a few years ago, I think I’d be a little nervous if a Slayer showed up with the intent of wiping out all the vampires…not that it’s a bad thing,” she added with a frown.

“I think I’d be more nervous if the chip was still working,” he said with a smile. “No way to defend myself if she decided to get stake-happy.”

“So…what are they like?” Buffy asked.

“What do you mean?”

“All I know is that they’re super strong.”

“Yeah, uh…strong,” he repeated with a nod. “Cunning, resourceful, smart, tiny-”

“Tiny?” Buffy asked with a frown.

“The four that I’ve seen.”

“Right,” Buffy said with a nod, seeing her house in the distance. “Do you still love her, Spike?”

“Who?”

“Are you really going to play dumb with me?”

“Lucy,” he muttered in understanding. “I guess I always will.”

“And that doesn’t bother you that anyone you could be with in the future would have to compete with a ghost?”

“Doesn’t bother me,” Spike said with a shrug. “It’s been seventeen years. I guess it depends on if it bothers the woman who falls in love with me.”

‘It does,’ she thought miserably.
Chapter 3 – Maybe…


It started off simply enough. She wasn’t even aware of the difference in her feelings until it was quite possibly too late. From the time Buffy was a little girl, Spike was always someone to turn to. A confidant, a person she could trust, but most of all, he was her best friend. It wasn’t until she was a teenager that she realized her feelings were running on the warm and fuzzy side for a vampire. Not that it was entirely unexpected- after all, she had grown up knowing who and what vampires were, and considering she was a child of two vampires, it was expected that she would either be repelled by them or attracted to them.

Of course, when people used the term ‘attracted’, they had meant it in the most innocent of contexts, simply assuming that she would have a built-in ‘Slayer sense’ to accompany the added strength when a vamp was around, despite the fact that she wasn’t a Slayer. They never expected that she would actually be attracted to a vampire.

Then she had opened her eyes and really looked at Spike. The man she considered her protector until she was thirteen. From that point on, the ‘protector’ role was getting a little old. She knew at that age that she was too young for him to take any type of interest in her- she wasn’t an idiot. Buffy also knew that maybe someday she would get a chance. That maybe someday she would be able to crack through the walls that Lucy’s untimely death and unrequited love had built up and maybe…just maybe, she would be able to reach the man inside.

The day of her seventeenth birthday, Buffy had finally allowed some hope to bloom that she could tell Spike how she felt about him. Until he’d shown up that day and tugged on her hair, saying, “Happy birthday, kid.”

That’s all she ever was to him, and that’s all she feared she would ever be. She knew that a man who’d been around for over a century wouldn’t have much in common with a seventeen-year-old girl, but in her young mind, she couldn’t imagine anyone else but herself being more perfect for him.

After all, she was smart, she made him laugh when no one else could even get a smile from him, and it was obvious to anyone that she’d made him feel free to love again. Just not the kind of love she hoped she would receive.

No, Buffy knew that she was nothing more to him than a kid. A responsibility. Or possibly a burden. Spike was strapped to her because of her father and a blood relationship that Angel had called upon when she was a baby. She knew that Spike wouldn’t want her to consider their relationship in that light. She also knew that he would go to any lengths to protect her and that he considered himself to be her family when she had none who were close. And that thought, mixed with all of the others, was more than a little disturbing to her.

Now, sitting on her front porch swing, she was surprised to feel his presence as he approached. She was more in tune with him than anyone she’d ever known and it never ceased to surprise her.

“Hello, Spike,” she said, a soft smile playing on her lips. Never bothering to look up when she felt him come to stand at the edge of the porch, she could feel his eyes on her as he leaned against the railing.

“Evening, pet,” he murmured, crushing his cigarette under the heel of his boot. “Rough day?”

“No,” Buffy replied, finally looking up at him before turning to stare at the stars. “I actually had a pretty good day.”

Spike nodded, walking up the steps to sit down next to her, never noticing when she unconsciously leaned toward him.

“School wasn’t too rough on you, then?” he asked, throwing his arm across the back of the swing.

Buffy suppressed the sigh, wishing that he would throw his arm around her with such ease. Instead she just shrugged. “Could have been worse.”

“Then what’s with the gloom and doom face?”

“No reason,” she murmured.

“Alright then. Ready to go meet this new Slayer?” Spike asked, thinking that she might perk up if he changed the subject.

“I guess,” she replied, standing up.

“What’s the matter, kitten?” he asked, catching her arm before she could step off the porch. “I’ve known you your whole life and this is definitely not one of your usual moods.”

“It’s nothing,” Buffy replied with a smile that was obviously for his benefit. “Really. I just had a stressful day, I guess.”

“Fair enough,” Spike muttered, walking down the steps and matching her strides as they slowly made their way to the Magic Box.

“Who sent you this time?” Buffy asked, breaking the comfortable silence between them.

“What makes you think-”

“Spike,” she replied in a warning tone.

“Willow,” he muttered with a small smile. “Stopped by yesterday and asked if I could make sure you got there okay.” Glancing over at the young woman, Spike tilted his head. “What’s the long face for, pet?”

“What?” Buffy asked, snapping out of her thought. “Oh, um…nothing…it was nothing.”

Spike nodded as they continued toward the shop. Buffy hugged her arms around her body more firmly, wishing that every once in a while, Spike would come and walk with her because he wanted to, not because he felt obligated or because he was doing a favor for someone.

“What do we know about this Slayer?” Spike asked, never seeing the dejected look on Buffy’s face.

“Only what Willow told me last night,” she said with a shrug. “Her name’s Aubrey. She’s nineteen and she’s been the Slayer for three years. Council told her to come Hellmouth-sitting, for some reason or other, and here she is. Why do you want to know?” she asked, glancing over at him for a moment.

“Just figured if this bird is here for the long haul, we should know about her, that’s all,” Spike said with a shrug. Finally noticing the look on Buffy’s face, he reached over and wrapped a friendly arm around her shoulders. “Don’t worry, pet. You know you’ll always be my best girl.”

“Yeah,” Buffy scoffed. “Because my dad would totally kick your ass if I wasn’t.”

Stopping abruptly and turning her to face him, Spike looked deep into her eyes, still amazed at how expressive they seemed to be for a seventeen-year-old. Obviously someone who had seen more than she should have, for her age.

“Is that really what you think?” he asked softly, tilting his head to look at her.

“Isn’t it?” she muttered, looking away and closing her eyes when she felt his finger hook under her chin.

“No,” he said, his brows knit together in worry. “Maybe when you were little, but now I’m here because I want to be.” Seeing the soft smile that graced her features, Spike smiled. “You worked your way in, Goldilocks. You’re family now. Come on,” he said, turning toward the town. “Let’s get there before they send out the search party.”

Buffy felt her heart sink at the implications. Family was good, but she was hoping for something better.

Chapter 4 – Changes


Walking into the Magic Box, Buffy felt any semblance of a good mood slip away when she saw the new girl sitting there. She practically exuded power and it was obvious, to Buffy anyway, that she was the Slayer.

Walking further into the shop, Buffy felt her stomach drop when the Slayer turned around and her eyes lit up as they settled on Spike. Buffy knew that he was tense under the scrutiny of the other woman’s gaze and turned toward him with a soft smile, feeling butterflies flying through her stomach when he returned the look, only mildly irritated when Giles interrupted the small moment they were having.

“Good, you’re here. We can begin,” he said, walking out of the back room and offering Buffy a smile that she hesitantly returned.

“Hi, Buffy,” Willow said with a smile. “Hey, Spike.”

“Red,” he replied, nodding at her and Tara before focusing his attention on the girl sitting at the table next to Anya.

“Buffy, Spike- this is Aubrey the vampire Slayer,” Giles said, gesturing to the stranger.

Glancing at the other blonde woman, Buffy was surprised at the slight resemblance that they seemed to share. It was all superficial- merely some similarities of hair and eye color, since the other girl was apparently taller than Buffy. But it was a little unnerving to see Spike looking at her in a way that he’d never looked at Buffy, even though they shared a comparable appearance. She was only mildly relieved that he didn’t seem to be looking at her with lust in his eyes but with a mixture of curiosity and admiration of her obvious strength.

“Nice to meet you,” she said, giving them both a slight smile, which Buffy tried her hardest to return.

“Yeah,” she said, boosting herself up onto the counter and earning an irritated look from Giles. “You, too,” she said softly, ignoring the older man.

“Well, now that everyone’s here,” Xander said, looking at the newest addition. “Maybe you can tell us what apocalypse we’re about to face.”

“No apocalypse,” Aubrey replied, shaking her head. “The Council just decided that the Hellmouth had been without a Slayer for too long, so here I am.”

“So, no big nasty, then?” Spike finally spoke up, earning the attention of everyone in the room. “No demons made of stone, waiting to swallow the world? No Frankenstein/human hybrids? No Hell Gods?”

“Not that I know of,” Aubrey said with a nervous smile, shaking her head as she looked around the room.

“Sorry for the third degree,” Willow said, giving the other Slayer a gentle smile. “It’s just…it’s been a while since the last Big Bad threatened to destroy the world and I guess we’re feeling behind on our quota.”

“I get that,” Aubrey said with a nod. “I go a little stir-crazy if I can’t get out there and kick some vampire ass…no offense,” she added, glancing at Spike. “They kind of filled me in on your whole deal.”

“’S’alright,” he said with a nod. “I’ve dusted more than my fair share.”

“Where are you staying?” Anya asked, checking her nails without looking up at the group.

“The Sun Spot Motel,” Aubrey said.

“No, that’s silly,” Willow replied, shaking her head. “You can stay with us. There’s plenty of room.”

“I-I don’t want to impose,” Aubrey said, shaking her head nervously.

“No imposition,” Tara spoke up. “We have an extra room ever since Dawn moved out and it would be silly for you to pay money when we have the space.”

“I don’t want to keep you up when I come in from patrolling.”

“It’s not a problem,” Willow said with a smile, never seeing the sulking look on Buffy’s face.

“Speaking of which, they’re probably out in full force by now,” Buffy spoke up, looking at Spike. “We should probably head out.”

The hopeful tone in her voice went unnoticed by everyone in the room, except the new Slayer, who gave Buffy a soft smile of understanding at wanting to work off whatever frustrations she had on the demon population.

“I don’t know if that’s such a good idea tonight, pet,” Spike said, tilting his head toward Buffy. “It’s a school night.”

Spike was ready for a lot of things at any time, but the darkening of Buffy’s features was more than a little shocking to him. He never expected that kind of reaction from the girl who obviously held him in such high esteem.

“What’s wrong?” he asked in concern.

“I’m not a kid,” she replied softly, hopping down from the counter to stand in front of him. “I know that you always think of me as one, but considering it’s not even nine o’clock, I think it’s safe for me to stay up for a few hours.”

The adults in the room each exchanged glances as Buffy glared at Spike, all of them assuming that she was going through a typical teenage rebellion. Not one of them seemed to be reading into her actual feelings and emotions of the situation.

Waiting for a moment to see if Spike was going to say anything else, she could easily read the confusion in his eyes. With a frustrated sigh, Buffy turned and walked toward the door.

“Buffy!”

Stopping with her hand outstretched for the doorknob, she felt her chin quiver at the fact that the tone of voice was telling her to stop. And the voice was Willow’s.

“Yeah?” she asked, not bothering to turn around as the redheaded witch ran up to her.

“You really shouldn’t be out alone. Do you want me to walk with you?”

“No,” she replied in a hardened voice, trying to take a deep breath and get over the fact that every person in this room saw her as a kid. “I’ve been training to fight anything that gets in my way for the last seven years…I think I can handle walking home alone.”

“Alright,” Willow said, trying to appease the younger girl with a soft smile. “Be careful.”

“Always am,” she replied, walking out the door without a backward glance.

* * * * *

Buffy lay on her bed twenty minutes later, trying to find a cure for her boredom. She really shouldn’t have thrown a mini-tantrum during the meeting.

‘You want to be seen as an adult and then you isolate yourself by acting like a kid,’ she thought, throwing her stuffed pig Mr. Gordo into the air and catching him on every downfall before pausing to look at his squishy face. ‘And everything around you is babyish.’

Throwing the pig against the wall, Buffy jumped up from her bed and proceeded to take down the posters and childhood memorabilia from every available surface, tossing them all to the back of her closet before catching a glimpse of her clothes and letting a smile curve her lips.

Things were definitely going to change.

A/N I should have put this note on the last chapter, but rest-assured, there will be no Spike/Other in this fic. That doesn’t mean that Buffy won’t feel threatened by who she thinks is a potential rival, but know that there will not be so much as a kiss between Spike and the new Slayer. But (again) Buffy doesn’t know this. Thanks for reading!

Chapter 5 – What’s it Take?


Letting her hips undulate with the beat of the music, Buffy finally allowed herself to relax, flipping her blonde hair over her shoulder and feeling the music wash over her.

After she had cleaned out her room, she had proceeded to change into a halter top and a pair of leather pants, slipping out of the house before Willow and Tara had returned from the Scooby meeting.

Now that she was at the Bronze, she let all of the stress fall away, ridding her mind of Spike, of the new Slayer, and most of all, being called a ‘kid’ over and over again. Feeling a pair of hands settle on her hips, Buffy resisted her normal urge of brushing away the pursuer and instead turned around, offering a smile to the college guy behind her.

Raising her arms above her head, she tossed him a flirty smile, enjoying the rare chance that she had to be a girl and not have to worry about vampires or Hellmouths.

‘Considering they treat me like a kid most of the time, you’d think they would have kept a portion of purity intact instead of letting me grow up to know the ways of the world.’

Even as the thought flitted through her head, Buffy knew she was being petty and selfish. She was the child of two vampires- chances are she would have figured it out on her own, and then she would be mad that they didn’t trust her enough to tell her.

Clearing her mind of all serious thoughts, Buffy wrapped her arms around the frat boy’s neck and gave him a coy smile as she teasingly moved her hips against his. Arching an eyebrow in his direction, she swallowed a gasp when she felt her arm seized in a harsh grip, barely comprehending what was happening as she was dragged through the club.

Finally getting her bearings, Buffy jerked her arm out of the bruising hold just before they reached the door, looking at Spike with an angry gaze. “What the hell are you doing?” she asked through clenched teeth.

“What the hell am I doing?!” Spike repeated, staring at her as if she’d gone insane. “What the bloody hell are you doing here?”

“Free country,” Buffy muttered, turning back to the dance floor and groaning when she was once again grabbed and pulled out the door.

“Do Willow and Tara know you’re here?” Spike asked after the door slammed shut behind them, leaving them to talk in private.

“No, Dad,” she said through clenched teeth.

“Don’t call me that,” he growled.

“Why not?” Buffy asked, crossing her arms over her chest and tilting her head to look at him. “You’re constantly insisting that I’m a kid, you’re always checking up on me when Willow tells you to, and you think that I can’t take care of myself. Can you think of a better adjective to use?”

“Don’t,” he repeated. “I’m taking you home.”

“No, you’re not,” she replied with a raised eyebrow. “I’m a big girl and I’m doing what I want. I don’t go around asking you what you’re doing here- maybe I should, and then you’ll know how annoying it is- what are you doing here, Spike?”

“I was showing Aubrey around,” he muttered, watching as Buffy’s eyes hardened even more.

“Well, what do you know,” she replied in a condescending voice. “I’m too young to be out, but the new girl isn’t.”

“It’s not like that, Buffy.”

“What do you care?” she asked, turning away from him and walking toward the end of the alley.

“Where are you going?” Spike called after her, quickly catching up to her.

“I’m going home. That’s what you wanted, right? To get all tucked safe and sound into bed? Or should I just go find the guy I was dancing with?”

“You’re not going back to find that wanker,” he said in a low voice.

“God, you’re such a hypocrite,” she cried, throwing her arms up in the air. “Maybe you should just dictate my life from now on- would that make you happy?”

“No, and…what the hell are you wearing?!” Spike yelled, pulling her into the dim light that was spilling into the alley from the street.

“See what I mean? The world’s number one hypocrite, ladies and gentleman,” Buffy said, gesturing angrily toward him as if she was talking to a crowd. “How many girls my age have you checked out when they’ve been dressed like this, and yet somehow I’m different?”

“Yes,” he said in a menacing tone.

“Why? Because you know me?” she asked before a slow smile spread on her lips. Taking a step closer to him, she widened her eyes, giving herself a more innocent appearance. “What’s the matter, Spike?” she asked in a whisper, walking toward him until he was pressed against the wall, his head tilted to study her. “Did you finally notice I’ve grown up?”

“What are you doing, Buffy?”

“What does it look like?” she asked with a naïve expression. “Don’t like the idea that you’re thinking about me differently?”

“How do you know my thoughts have changed?” he asked in a voice that didn’t sound like his own.

“Maybe they haven’t,” Buffy said with a shrug. “Maybe your feelings for me haven’t changed at all…but I have.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means, what I’m saying,” she replied with a sigh, glancing toward the closed door of the club. “Don’t you have a date waiting?”

“No,” Spike said, his brows knit together in confusion. “I don’t.”

“Well, whatever you consider the Slayer to be,” she said, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear before turning away from him.

“Buffy,” he called after her, waiting until she turned around before speaking. “What’s happening, pet?”

“Don’t you get it?” she asked in an exasperated voice. “Are you so blind that you can’t even see what’s right in front of your face? I’m growing up, Spike. Whether you and everyone else like it or not, it’s going to happen. So get your head out of your ass and notice already,” she cried before turning around and disappearing around the corner, leaving a stunned vampire in her wake.

Walking for a block, Buffy finally let the trembling take over as she realized what she’d just said. She knew that Spike would rationalize what she’d said- he’d think that she wanted him to notice that she was growing up instead of actually noticing her.

Running her shaky hands through her hair, Buffy sighed. “What’s it take?”

Chapter 6 – So Close…So Far


Quietly walking into her house, Buffy took off her shoes before slowly making her way up the stairs. Hearing one of them creak, she paused, biting her lip as she continued the rest of the way. Breathing a sigh of relief when she got to the second floor, Buffy let her shoulders droop, pushing open her bedroom door. Her eyes widened when she saw Willow and Tara sitting on her bed, each wearing a look of maternal concern and disappointment.

“When you’re done trying to sneak into the house, we’d like to talk to you,” Willow said, crossing her arms over her chest.

Sighing as she dropped her shoes into the corner, Buffy was mildly surprised that they didn’t seem to be more worried about her.

“Buffy, we don’t like you running off in the middle of the night,” Tara said in a gentle tone.

“I didn’t…it’s not the middle of the night,” Buffy argued weakly.

“Why were you at the Bronze on a school night?” Willow asked softly.

“Because I…you were spying on me?” she asked in disbelief when she realized what Willow just said.

“No,” Tara said quickly, shaking her head.

“We did a locator spell,” Willow added.

“So you were spying on me,” Buffy repeated, looking between the two women.

“No,” Tara repeated. “W-we were just…checking up on you.”

“Please don’t try to rationalize it,” she said quietly. “Bottom line- maybe I wanted to leave before you got back, but I can take care of myself. You’ve raised me to defend myself, so what are you so worried about?”

“We’re worried about you, Buffy,” Willow said.

“And you’re not telling me why,” she replied, becoming exasperated.

“Where is all of this hostility coming from?” Willow asked softly.

“There is no…”

Buffy trailed off, trying to get her thoughts in order before she continued.

“…I just want to be treated like everyone else,” she said softly. “I’m sorry if I worried you, I really am, but…do you understand that you expect me to act like an adult and yet you treat me like a child?”

Both women seemed to contemplate what she was saying, and Buffy watched as they exchanged looks before coming to a silent decision.

“We can talk about this later,” Tara finally said, giving Buffy a warm smile, which she struggled to return. “You should get some rest.”

Waiting until the women left the room, she finally breathed a sigh, relieved that they hadn’t mentioned her clothes. Of course, she wasn’t stupid enough to believe that they never would- she was fully expecting another lecture in the morning- but it was nice to have a night off.

Quickly undressing and slipping on her white satin pajama pants and buttoning the matching top, Buffy was about to climb into bed when she heard the door shut downstairs. Frowning as she stood up, she quietly walked out the door and headed toward the stairs when she heard voices.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with her.”

Her frown deepened as Spike’s voice floated toward her, quickly walking halfway down the stairs and seeing him standing with Willow and Tara in the living room.

“I find her plastered to some poof at the bloody club. Practically shagging as they’re dancing, and then she gets mad at me for dragging her out of the soddin’ place.”

“She’s going through a lot, Spike,” Tara said, ever the mediator of the group.

“Well, that doesn’t excuse her for going around and acting like a trollop,” he muttered.

Buffy felt tears spring to her eyes as her advanced hearing picked up on his quiet comment before turning and running back up the stairs, slamming the door of her bedroom behind her.

Curling up on her bed, she clutched Mr. Gordo to her chest, the one thing that had survived her room’s makeover, and let the tears slowly trail down her cheeks. Hearing a soft knock on the door, Buffy shook her head, wishing everyone would just leave her alone.

“Go away,” she yelled, her voice choked with tears.

The creak of the door opening had her squeezing her eyes shut and holding onto the stuffed pig with brutal force.

“I don’t want anymore lectures tonight,” she murmured when the door closed.

“I’m guessing you heard?”

Her entire body tensed when she heard Spike’s voice behind her. “What? That you think I’m a slut? Yeah…caught that conversation.”

Feeling the bed dip as Spike sat down, Buffy moved closer to the edge, not wanting to be near him right now. She could feel his fingers weave through her silky hair and gently thread through the strands, effectively relaxing her.

“I never said that,” he finally whispered.

“Yes, you did,” Buffy said softly, unconsciously leaning into his touch without looking at him. “I was practically ‘shagging’ on the dance floor, remember?”

“Yeah,” he murmured, his hand never stopping the movement through her hair. “And my point was…you’re better than that.”

Turning over to look at him for the first time, Buffy was surprised at how close he was. She could feel her breathing become labored as she moistened her lips, feeling her heart begin to race when his gaze watched her as her tongue swept over her lips. Slowly angling his head toward hers, Spike’s eyes searched her face for any hint of resistance.

Hesitantly leaning forward, Buffy let her eyes drift shut as they closed the distance between them. Feeling the barest caress of his lips against hers, she felt as if her heart was going to explode before guiltily jumping apart when the knock sounded throughout the room.

Spike was practically halfway to the door when it opened, revealing Willow’s smiling face. “Everything okay?” she asked, looking at the blonde vampire.

“Yeah,” Spike muttered, running his hand through his hair and simultaneously freeing the curls from the restrictive gel. “I, uh…I better…go.”

Watching as he practically ran from the room, Buffy waited until she heard the slamming of the front door before saying goodnight to Willow.

Alone in her room again, she let her fingertips brush across her lips, amazed at the tingling that was still running through her body. She probably should have been a little upset that he couldn’t seem to get out of there fast enough, but the memory of the lightest touch of his lips against hers was enough to temper any sensitive emotions.
 

Chapter 7 – Playing Games





It would have been a lot easier to stay in a good mood about the kissing situation if Spike hadn’t gone above and beyond the call of duty to avoid her. It had been two weeks and she hadn’t seen him once. Not at the Scooby meetings, not at her home, and not even at his crypt when she had stopped by a week ago.



Even then, Buffy would have been able to hold onto a sliver of happiness at the fact that they had been so close. That was until she had followed Aubrey out on patrol the other night and seen her meet up with him. Her heart had dropped into her stomach at the mere sight of them doing something that Buffy used to take for granted. She always thought she would be the one to patrol with Spike, but apparently the daughter of a vampire couldn’t compare with the vampire Slayer.



That’s when she told herself that things would change…again.



* * * * *



Walking through the streets of Sunnydale, Buffy tried to remain upbeat as she talked to her date. Brad had been asking her out, off and on, for the past year and she had always remained adamant about not taking him up on any offers, but that was before the ‘New Buffy’ took effect. Now, she didn’t see the harm in going to a movie and getting something to eat. She was only moderately surprised that she was actually having a good time. There was nothing bad about her date, but she definitely didn’t see any future possibilities.



‘You’re seventeen,’ she thought to herself as they walked in the direction of her house from the Espresso Pump. ‘You don’t need to be worried about future possibilities- just be worried about current possibilities.’



“Hey,” Brad suddenly broke into her thoughts with an excited voice. “Have you ever been to a cemetery at night?”



Looking up at him, Buffy let a soft smile play on her lips. “I can’t remember,” she said with seeming innocence.



“Let’s go,” he said, grabbing her hand and leading her across the street to one of the larger graveyards.



Buffy was moderately relieved that Spike didn’t live there, but she did know that there was usually some kind of vampire activity in this particular cemetery.



“I-I don’t know if that’s such a good idea,” she said, keeping an eye on her surroundings and subtly double-checking that she had a stake safely tucked away in her pocket.



“You’re not scared, are you?” he asked, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. “I’ll protect you.”



Her lips tightened at the sexist remark, but she kept her mouth shut, choosing to ignore it.



“There are just a lot of weird people who hang out in cemeteries,” she said, trying to make him see that this idea wasn’t a very good one.



“It’ll be okay,” Brad replied with an easy smile. “Come on.”



Leading her in a winding trail through the tombstones, Buffy made sure to watch every movement and listen to every rustle that sounded around her.



“This place looks good,” he said with a smile.



“L-looks good?” she repeated, feeling unsettled when he gently placed his hands on her hips and pushed her against a mausoleum. “Brad…what are you doing?” she whispered, tensing up when she felt his lips on her neck and raising her shoulder to ward off his advances.



“What does it look like?” he asked, pulling back to look at her with a smile.



Forcing herself to relax, Buffy took a deep breath. ‘This is a right of passage,’ she thought to herself, stopping any urge she had of pushing him away. ‘This isn’t going to go any farther than you’re willing to let it go…you can beat this guy to a bloody pulp if he tries to push you into something.’



Nearly smiling at the thought, she relaxed against him, trying not to think that the simple feel of Spike’s lips barely brushing against hers was more exciting than anything Brad could do for her.



Feeling him move toward her again, Buffy gently pushed him away, offering a soft smile when he gave her a questioning look. “I don’t like people touching my neck,” she said softly, thinking that this was a valid point, considering she was the child of two vampires…of course she wasn’t going to tell him that.



When his lips brushed against hers, Buffy forced herself to relax and go with it, immediately tensing up a few moments later.



“Buffy?”



Slowly pulling away- and feeling an immediate sense of relief- she turned toward the familiar voice, seeing Spike standing in front of her, obviously sizing up the man with her.



“What are you doing here?” he asked in a cold voice.



“What’s it look like?” Brad spoke up, obviously becoming intimidated when Spike’s icy gaze turned toward him. “Is this your dad or something?” he whispered to Buffy.



She would have laughed if it didn’t flash through her mind that Spike was a very unchipped, soulless vampire. A fact that she continuously forgot since he chose to fight the good fight, but with the look of murder in his eyes, Buffy knew she would have to handle this carefully.



“Or something,” she replied softly, stepping between the two men. “Can you wait here?” she asked Brad, who hesitantly nodded.



Spike waited until Buffy walked past him before tearing his gaze away from the other man and following her.



“What are you doing?” he asked when they were a few feet away.



“I’m on a date,” she whispered, crossing her arms over her chest.



“In a graveyard?”



“No,” Buffy replied. “At the movies. This was…a detour,” she finished with a smile.



“Detour?” he questioned, arching an eyebrow at her casual reply.



“Yes, now if you’ll excuse me,” she said, turning away from him, only to have him grab her arm. Quickly pulling free from his grasp, Buffy turned back to him with an irritated look. “What? You want to play the angry father now?”



“I told you not to call me that,” he said in a low voice.



“Yeah,” Buffy said with a shrug. “I guess there would be kind of an ick factor, what with the kissage and all.”



“It was-”



“A mistake?” she interrupted, giving him a bright smile as she patted his shoulder in a condescending manner. “Right there with you, big guy. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a date.”



Taken aback by her obvious dismissal, Spike turned to watch her as she walked back to her date.



“We should probably go,” she said with a bright smile that was obviously for Spike’s benefit. “I forgot that I promised to be home early tonight.”



“Alright,” Brad said softly, wrapping an arm around her waist and leading her through the cemetery.



“Buffy,” Spike called after her with frustration evident in his voice.



“Don’t worry about me, Spike,” Buffy replied, turning around to walk backwards and look at him, giving him a huge smile. “I’ll be fine. See you around.”



Spike stood in shock as Buffy turned around without another glance. He didn’t want to question why it hurt that she would just ignore him and ignore the moment that they had shared a few weeks ago.



‘That’s what you wanted her to do,’ he thought to himself. ‘It was wrong…that’s why you’ve stayed away for so long. You were the one who wanted her to not make a big deal about it.’



Then why did it bother him so much?



* * * * *



Buffy’s good mood had quickly evaporated by the time she reached her front porch. After practically playing Twenty Questions with Brad about who Spike was and lying through the majority of the answers, she was ready to curl up with a movie and enjoy some alone time.



Leaving him with a chaste kiss on the cheek, Buffy practically ran into her house, wanting to forget all about her date and really wanting to forget about running into Spike.



‘He’s everywhere,’ she thought as she walked into her bathroom and began washing off her make-up before shaking her head. ‘No, he’s everywhere that you don’t want him to be. When you want to see him, he’s nowhere to be found.’



She did feel a twinge of regret that she had lied to him. She did consider the kiss to be a big deal, but if he wanted to play the game this way, then she was more than willing to up the stakes.
 

Chapter 8 - Belonging


Walking into the Bronze, Spike had an angry expression on his face as he looked around the crowded club.

“This disappearing/reappearing act of hers is getting old,” he muttered, scanning the dancing bodies. Catching a glimpse of blonde hair, he made his way to the edge of the floor.

His expression darkened when he saw Buffy surrounded by a bunch of guys and tantalizingly swaying her hips to the beat of the music. He watched her for a moment, raising an eyebrow when she looked up and locked eyes with him. He was slightly taken aback when a bright smile lit up her face and she eagerly ran over to him, using her momentum to jump into his arms and lock her arms around his neck. Catching her with a slight “Oomph”, Spike tried not to focus on the feel of her smooth curves beneath his hands as he held her in place. Realizing a moment later that he was having a very unwelcome reaction, or maybe it was welcome, at the fact that she was straddling his hips, he looked into her bright eyes and his frown deepened when she gave him another smile.

“Hi,” she said brightly, obviously enjoying the feel of his hands on her waist as she wriggled around a little bit.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” he asked, looking at the boys who had been surrounding her moments ago and were now wondering why the blonde ran off.

“Dancing,” she replied, feeling him shift slightly and easily dropping to her feet, letting her hands fall away from his neck and using the opportunity to run over the defined muscles in his chest as she continued to stand in front of him, pressing her body to his.

“Foreplay, more like it,” Spike scoffed, looking around the club and trying to appear disinterested.

“Jealous?” she asked with a smoldering fire in her eyes that should have been outlawed.

“Jealous?” he repeated with a forced laugh, trying not to notice the way she looked in the tight black pants and form-fitting, flimsy excuse for a tank top or the way his brain was losing all blood as it rushed toward his lower regions. “Don’t make me laugh, sweetheart,” he said in a mocking tone.

“Fine,” Buffy said with a shrug, turning toward the dance floor. “I’ll see you around.”

“And where the bloody hell do you think you’re going?” Spike asked, catching her arm before she made her escape.

“To dance. Work off some steam…maybe have a little foreplay,” she added with a smirk that let him know she knew exactly what she was doing.

“I don’t think so,” he replied, jerking her toward the door. “You’re coming with me.”

“What are you doing?” Buffy asked, her good mood instantly evaporating as she angrily struggled against him while he continued to lead her outside.

“Taking you home. Willow and Tara are worried sick about you. You do realize that you’re past your curfew?”

“I don’t need a curfew,” she grumbled, avoiding his eyes.

“Maybe not. Seems to me you need a good spanking.”

“You volunteering?” she asked with a slight smile and a raised eyebrow.

“Don’t go there,” Spike said, trying to rid his brain of the images that seemed to materialize, not helping his train of thought. “They’re worried, and I don’t fancy waiting around until you ‘work off some steam’ before I take you home.”

“You really need to work on your grabby issues,” she said through gritted teeth, jerking her arm out of his grasp. “And for your information, I can take care of myself.”

“Really?” Spike retorted, closing the distance between them as his eyes narrowed. “Is that why Daddy Dearest sent you here? Because you do such a wonderful job of showing that you can take care of yourself?”

Seeing the crestfallen look and watery eyes at the mention of her father, Spike suddenly felt like the biggest creep in the world.

“I’m sorry, kitten. That came out all wrong,” he said gently.

Buffy nodded, turning toward the entrance of the alley and walking away from him.

“Buffy-”

“Don’t,” she whispered, wrapping her arms securely around herself. “I just want to go home.”

Sensing that the ‘home’ she mentioned was in Los Angeles, Spike merely nodded and began walking toward Revello Drive, wishing that he hadn’t royally shoved his foot in his mouth for a change.

* * * * *

Getting closer to her house, Spike was becoming more unnerved as they walked. Buffy hadn’t said anything since they’d left the alley, and he was beginning to feel as if a wall was between them. Normally the time they spent together was filled with her bubbly chatter or, at the very least, a comfortable silence. But this was too strained, even for him.

“I didn’t mean what I said,” he whispered, seeing her eyes briefly dart over to his before looking away as they climbed the steps to her porch. “Angel sent you here to keep you safe…you know that, right?”

“Yeah,” she said softly, suddenly finding her hands extremely interesting as she fiddled with her thumb. “He wants to keep me so safe that he never even comes to see me. I feel like he’s not even my father. He’s just some stranger who I happen to share some DNA with.” Her brow furrowed before turning to Spike. “He’s dead…can I share DNA with a dead person?”

Breathing a sigh of relief that she didn’t appear to be mad at him, Spike smiled. “You’re asking the wrong person, pet. But he is your father, so I would say that it’s a strong possibility.”

Buffy nodded, glancing at the door. “I’m not trying to be some kind of spoiled brat,” she said softly. “I’m just trying to find my place around here…does that make sense?”

“More than you know,” he replied with a gentle smile, resisting the urge to reach out and caress her cheek.

“I feel like I don’t belong here…like I’ve never belonged here.”

“You do,” he whispered, hooking a finger under her chin and drawing her attention to his eyes. “You’re where you belong.”

“I’m glad someone thinks so,” she said in a whisper.

Feeling the energy practically crackling between them, Spike took a step back, breaking contact with her and trying not to think about the strange sense of loss that accompanied the move. “I better get going.”

“Yeah,” Buffy murmured, briefly glancing over her shoulder at the house. “I better get inside.”

Watching as Spike walked down the steps of the porch, she slowly turned and reached for the door handle.

“Hey, Goldilocks!” Spike called, bringing a smile to her lips when she turned around and saw him by the street, looking back at her. “No matter what happens…you know I love you.”

Wishing with all her heart that he meant that in a different context, Buffy decided to relax and take what she could get. “I know,” she replied with a smile. “I love you, too.”
 

Chapter 9 – Ridiculous Wishes


Tired of sitting around and waiting for something to happen, Buffy took it upon herself to patrol. In spite of Spike’s declaration of ‘love’ over a week ago, nothing had really changed. He was currently out patrolling with Aubrey, and it never seemed to occur to him that Buffy would want to go. She felt out of shape after not dusting her fair share of vamps over the past few weeks.

“I can take care of myself,” she muttered, walking through a nearby cemetery.

“Is that a fact?”

Turning toward the sound of the voice, Buffy let a smile play on her lips when she saw the two vampires behind her.

“Why don’t you find out?” she replied, holding her arms out to each side as if she was giving them an open invitation.

Without hesitating, they both ran to tackle the young girl, each surprised when she flipped one over her shoulder and gave a roundhouse kick to the other, sending him sprawling into a headstone.

“Come on, boys,” she said with a laugh as they each jumped to their feet. “You’re not even trying.”

With a growl, the larger of the two ran at her, barely realizing when Buffy stepped out of the way and slammed the stake into his chest, watching as he disintegrated to dust.

“Slayer,” the other one growled.

“Nope,” she replied with a slight shrug. “Just little ole me. Sorry to disappoint.”

Briefly surprised when she found herself pinned underneath a snarling vampire, Buffy struggled for a moment before using all the momentum she could come up with and flipping them over until she was straddling his waist. Plunging the stake into his unbeating heart, she felt a slightly jarring sensation when the vampire turned to dust, letting her drop several inches until she was on the ground.

Breathing a sigh of relief, she stood up and brushed off her hands, watching as the ashes scattered in the mild wind, frowning when she felt his familiar presence. Choosing to ignore him, Buffy continued walking, never looking over her shoulder.

“Do I need to humor you by pretending you didn’t know I was here?” Spike yelled, causing her to stop.

Slowly turning to face him, Buffy leveled him with a glare when she saw Aubrey standing beside him. “Think what you want,” she said with a carefree shrug. “I wasn’t out looking for you, so you can go on your merry way.”

Turning away from him again, Buffy picked up her pace, practically feeling the anger and frustration that was radiating from Spike.

“Freeze, Summers.”

“Go to hell, Spike,” she called back, slightly surprised when he practically materialized in front of her. “Stupid vampire speed,” she grumbled to herself, suppressing the urge to roll her eyes.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” he growled, not allowing her to pass as she tried to get around him.

“What do you care?” she asked, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Because I care about you,” he whispered as his gaze softened.

“Yeah,” she replied sarcastically. “You care so much that you ignore me.”

“I haven’t ignored you,” he said softly, watching as Buffy glanced over her shoulder, looking at the other Slayer before directing her gaze back to Spike.

“Really?” she asked with a raised eyebrow.

“It’s not what you think,” Spike said in a quiet voice.

“Why do you care what I think?” she asked, trying to keep the pain and emotion out of her voice.

“You’re my girl, Goldilocks,” he said, trying to lighten the situation as he offered her a tender smile.

“No, I’m not,” she ground out through clenched teeth.

“Buffy-”

“I’m going home,” she muttered, not letting him stop her this time as she pushed past him.

Walking a few paces, Buffy was mildly surprised to hear Spike’s voice behind her, but he wasn’t addressing her.

“Gonna walk Buffy home, if you want to do another quick pass.”

Never slowing her pace as she walked toward the edge of the cemetery, Buffy pretended she didn’t even hear him talking to the Slayer, forcing him to run in order to catch up with her.

Matching strides with her, they walked in silence for several long moments before it became too much for Spike. “Talk to me, luv.”

“About what?” she asked in an irritated voice.

“About these mood swings that you can’t seem to get rid of.”

“I’m a teenaged girl, as so many of you feel necessary to point out all the time. Mood swings come with the package.”

“You’re worrying everyone, Buffy,” Spike said, his voice taking on a serious tone. “Including me,” he added, looking over at her and seeing the tension in her body.

“Why does everyone feel like they need to worry about me?” she asked miserably.

“Because we care about you,” he replied softly.

“Then let me grow up,” she cried in exasperation. “Let me experience some things for myself and stop pretending that I’ve been this sheltered little girl for the last seventeen years.”

“What if I want you to stay sheltered?” he replied, tilting his head in her direction.

“It’s a little late for that. It was a little late for that seven years ago. What exactly do you want me to stay sheltered from?”

“What if I said- me?” he asked softly.

“It’s a little late for that, too,” she whispered. “I know you, Spike. I’m in. There’s nothing you can do to change that.”

Turning in the direction of her house, Buffy continued walking, tightening her arms around her body.

“What are you so scared of?” she finally asked, practically seeing his shoulders tense out of the corner of her eye and knowing that he’d caught the hidden meaning behind her words. Or maybe it wasn’t so hidden.

“Nothing,” he replied, shaking his head to emphasize his point.

Casting a quick glance his way, Buffy sighed. “What do you want from me?”

Spike seemed to consider the question for a moment before answering. “I want things to be the way they were.”

Running her hands through her hair in frustration, she restrained the urge to try and pull it out. “You want the ‘Big Brother Spike/Little Sister Buffy’ routine again?”

“That’s not exactly what I’d call it, pet.”

“Then what would you call it?”

“Friends. I want the friendship back.”

“But deep down, that’s not what it is,” she replied, looking into his eyes and only feeling moderately satisfied when he looked away under her scrutiny, knowing exactly what was behind the meaning of her words.

“Fine,” she said with a heavy sigh after a long moment. “You win. I’ll be ‘perfect little Buffy’ forever.”

Walking up the steps to the porch, she could feel the frustration rolling off of him in waves as she put the key in the lock.

“I just want to be able to talk to you again,” he finally said, a moment before she stepped into the house.

“You want to talk?” she asked, spinning around to face him. “I’m right here! I’m not the one who’s running away.”

“I’m not-”

“How’s the patrolling been, Spike?” she asked, crossing her arms over her chest and tightening her jaw when she saw the guilt flash in his eyes. Finally taking pity on him after a moment, Buffy inhaled sharply, inwardly surrendering to the silent battle of wills. “You want things the way they were? Fine.”

“What do you mean ‘fine’?”

“I mean what I said,” she replied with a shrug. “Consider everything between us to be just fine.”

Spike watched in confusion as she walked into her house, quietly shutting the door behind her, before running his hand through his hair. All he wanted was for things to go back to normal, before all the hormones and teenaged angst got in the way. He should have known it was a ridiculous wish.

Chapter 10 – Beautiful Mistakes


“Are you leaving, Buffy?” Willow asked as Buffy was walking out the door with her overnight bag in her hand.

“Yeah,” she replied, giving the older woman a warm smile. “I’ll be back in the morning.”

“Okay, sweetie. Have a good time,” Willow said, walking toward the kitchen before snapping her fingers and turning back to face Buffy. “I almost forgot to tell you- your dad is coming to town.”

“D-dad?” Buffy asked nervously. “Why?”

“He just wants to check up on you,” she replied warmly. “Have a good time.”

Walking out the door to meet her friends at the Bronze, Buffy felt short of breath. ‘What if I’m in trouble?’ she thought, her footsteps dragging as she walked. ‘What if he heard about how I’m acting now and decided to come for a visit and actually play the role of father for a change?’

Veering off in the direction of the cemetery, she couldn’t deny the sudden urge to see Spike. Maybe things had changed between them, but he was still the person she counted on.

He was still the one she trusted above all others.

Making her way through the graveyard a few minutes later, Buffy took a deep breath when she reached Spike’s crypt. Hesitantly running her hand over the smooth door, she bit her lip as she quietly pushed it open. Shutting it behind her and dropping her bag at her feet, she searched the interior.

Lit with only a few sparse candles that cast an eerie glow over the open area, Buffy slowly walked through the crypt.

“Spike?” she called softly, wandering toward the opening to the lower level and slowly descending it. “Spike, are you here?”

Jumping the few remaining steps, Buffy gazed around the room, seeing the slightly rumpled bed, but no Spike.

“Guess that’s a no, then,” she murmured, looking around one more time before hesitantly curling up on the bed.

* * * * *

Letting the door shut behind him, Spike froze when he felt the familiar presence practically assault his senses.

“Buffy?” he said softly, walking a little further into the crypt and seeing the overnight bag at his feet.

Closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, Spike followed her scent toward the ladder and easily scaled it, turning around when his feet connected with the hard ground. He let a smile play on his lips when he saw her sound asleep in his bed, looking so innocent with one hand curled beneath her cheek. The smile slowly faded as he realized how this situation could turn bad very quickly.

So far, he had managed to ignore any growing feelings or…desires that he had for the young woman in his bed. Letting her spend the night in the crypt would be a good way to throw all that out the window without thinking.

“Buffy,” he whispered, putting one knee on the bed and gently shaking her shoulder to wake her up. “Rise and shine, Goldilocks,” he murmured, leaning over further to whisper into her ear.

Unable to fully realize what was happening, Spike jumped when he suddenly felt her warm lips pressed against his. Letting his brain go on autopilot, he eagerly returned the kiss, wrapping his arms around her small body and closing his eyes at the feel of her pressed against him.

Slowly pulling herself out of her dream about kissing Spike, Buffy’s eyes nearly snapped open as the dream faded, but the memory of his lips against hers didn’t. Gasping into his mouth, her heart sped up when she felt his tongue gently brush against hers, moaning when his hand settled on the curve of her hip.

Not knowing what was happening, and not caring, Buffy let her hands trail along his strong arms, up his shoulders to gently twine through his hair, pulling him closer to her as her tongue massaged his.

She could feel the evidence of his arousal for her, pressed against her stomach, and another thrill rushed through her as she pushed against him, smiling against his lips when she heard his lust-filled groan.

Slowly realizing what was happening- what he had let happen- Spike hesitantly pulled away. Seeing the need in her eyes, he pressed another chaste kiss to her lips before pulling away completely.

Gaining some clarity with the distance, Spike sat up and nervously rubbed the back of his neck.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered.

“You’re…of course you are,” Buffy muttered, sitting up and moving to stand.

“Where are you going?” Spike asked, looking over at her and seeing the pain in her eyes. “Hey,” he murmured, reaching out for her and was mildly surprised when she flinched and pulled away, not letting him get close to her. “What is it?”

“What is it?” she repeated, looking at him as if he’d lost his mind. “I wake up to find you kissing me and then-”

“You kissed me first,” he interrupted.

“I was asleep. It’s not my fault that I was dreaming…”

Biting her lip as she trailed off, Buffy could already see the look of pride wash over Spike’s features.

“You were dreaming about me?” he asked, his head tilted as a slight smile played on his lips.

“It doesn’t matter,” she mumbled, standing up and heading for the ladder, only to be suddenly blocked by the vampire.

“I’m sorry I hurt you,” he whispered with obvious sincerity.

“It doesn’t matter,” she repeated. “I was stupid to think that…”

“That what?” he asked, trying to unsuccessfully erase the memory of her soft lips against his.

Nervously tucking a lock of hair behind her ear, Buffy sighed. “I was stupid to think that you would want me like that.”

“Buffy-”

“Please don’t give me some more sugar-coated half-truths,” she said, looking into his eyes.

“Wasn’t going to,” he replied, his head tilted as he studied her. “I was going to tell you that you are one of the most beautiful young women I’ve ever been in contact with and if things were different…”

“Beautiful?” she asked with a soft smile.

“You know you are,” Spike said with an answering grin.

“And young,” Buffy continued with a sigh, letting her smile fade and seeing the serious look in his eyes.

“Well, you are young, pet,” he said softly, moving to block her exit once again as she tried to get around him. “If things were different…”

“If things were different,” she repeated, looking up at the ceiling to try and blink away the tears that were forming. “You know how many times a day that thought goes through my head? If I wasn’t young, if I wasn’t Angel’s daughter, if you didn’t…if you didn’t treat me like your own daughter,” she finished in a whisper, glancing at the floor with a soft pout playing on her bottom lip.

“You’re not,” he growled, trying not to let the simple statement lead to more disturbing thoughts.

“Yeah,” she muttered, pushing past him and climbing the ladder. “Keep telling yourself that.”

Walking through the crypt and grabbing her bag before she reached the door, Buffy jumped when Spike was, once again, in front of her.

“Bell…neck…look into it.”

“Come with a nice leather…”

Spike trailed off, not wanting to finish that sentence and leading to even more bad- or maybe good- thoughts about the woman in front of him.

“I’m going home,” she said, using her forearm to push against his chest, only mildly surprised when she found herself spun around to face the back of the crypt instead of the door.

“Why are you here?”

“Does it matter?” she asked with a raised eyebrow, turning to face him once again.

“Considering you packed a bag and look like you’re wanting to stay the night, thinking it does, pet.”

“I was going to stay with a friend,” she said softly. “Willow told me something and I…I just didn’t feel like I was in the partying mood anymore.”

“What’d Red say?” he asked, his mind reeling against the idea of asking her to stay the rest of the night.

“That my dad is coming to town.”

“Bloody hell,” he muttered, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Just priceless. Peaches decides to pay a visit right after I nearly take advantage-”

“First of all,” Buffy said angrily. “You weren’t exactly ‘taking advantage’. Secondly- what makes you think that I would tell him what happened anyway?” she asked, feeling like turning the tables on him for a change. “It was a mistake, remember? Anything that happens between us lately is a mistake.”

“That’s not true,” he said, shaking his head.

“It’s not?” she replied skeptically before shaking her head and walking past him. “Forget it. I have to go.”

“Stay,” he whispered, barely turning his head as he listened to her footsteps come to a stop behind him.

“What?” she asked in a soft whisper.

“Stay,” he repeated. “Just…don’t leave. I don’t want anything to happen…” Liar “…just stay.”

“Why?”

Turning around to face her, Spike sighed. “I want to make sure you’re safe…and I can’t let you leave like this.”

Chapter 11 – Platonic Love


Slowly opening her eyes, Buffy took a moment to remember where she was. When she noticed the cool body next to her, she felt her heart begin to flutter as she remembered the kiss that she and Spike had shared the night before. Slowly rolling over to face him, she smiled as she watched him sleep- only slightly disturbed by the lack of breathing or heartbeat. Feeling a thrill rush through her when she realized his hand was splayed across her abdomen, she nearly shivered at the simple gesture.

‘He could be awake right now and you’d never know it,’ she thought to herself.

Her fingers itched to reach out and gently stroke against the sharp angles of his cheekbones, but she bit her lip, keeping her hands where they were. She knew that if he felt anything even resembling an intimate touch, he would be out of the bed and up the ladder before she could blink. The conversation they’d had the night before was still fresh in her mind.

“Spike, just get in the bed,” Buffy said in exasperation.

“I’m not sharing that bed with you, Goldilocks,” he replied, walking over to the ladder and looking back in surprise when she grabbed the back of his shirt and jerked him back down to the ground.

“If I’m such a kid, then what are you afraid of?”

Spike sighed, clenching his jaw and cracking his neck in irritation.

“Because you’re not a kid,” he said softly, opening his eyes to look at her.

“It’s about time you noticed,” she muttered, crossing her arms over her chest.

“I’ll be up there,” Spike said, not wanting to risk saying anything to that statement.

“No,” Buffy replied with another forceful tug of his shirt.

“Bloody hell, woman- you’re going to rip it!”

“So what? You’ve got like a million of ‘em.”

“Ha, bloody, ha.”

“Spike, if you don’t look at me as a kid, then I’m an adult, right?”

“Really don’t like where this conversation is going.”

“Answer me.”

“Fine,” he replied, exasperated. “You’re an adult in my eyes- you happy?”

“Then, as two adults, I’m saying that we should share the bed…platonically,” Buffy added, raising an eyebrow as if to challenge him.

Looking at the soft mattress and running his tongue along his bottom lip as he thought about the situation, Spike slowly turned his gaze to the young woman in front of him. “Anything even feels like it’s going to happen, and I’m outta here. Are we clear?”

“Crystal,” Buffy said, climbing into the bed and waiting until Spike was on the other side before speaking again. “You’re so worried about something happening and it never enters that big head of yours that I might not want it to.”

She could practically feel the shock rolling off his body as he turned to look at her in the dark. “What are you going on about? You were the one dreaming about me!”

“Exactly,” she replied, keeping the smirk off her face since she knew he could see it with his enhanced vision. “Dreaming, as in- unconscious. It’s not my fault that my brain can’t pick a good guy out of my Fantasy File.”

“Please, tell me you’re joking,” he replied, unsuccessfully trying to keep the jealousy out of his voice.

“About the File?” Buffy teased. “Nope, not joking. It could have been anyone- Johnny Depp, Jude Law…hell, even Xander…”

“Please, shut up,” Spike groaned, running a hand over his eyes.

“You get my point,” she continued with a shrug that he couldn’t see as she tried to suppress her laughter at his reaction. “You just happened to choose the night that it was about you.”

“I’m warning you- if you don’t shut the hell up right now, you’ll be sleeping outside.”

“Awww, poor Spikey. Don’t worry- I’m sure tonight it will be someone extra yummy…maybe Orlando Bloom.”

“Buffy!”

Smiling at the memory, Buffy prepared to climb out of the bed, wanting to slip out of the crypt to save Spike from the obvious scene that he wanted to avoid. It wasn’t exactly a ‘morning after’ situation, but she knew that he would still feel awkward. Slowly removing his hand from her stomach, she felt a profound sense of loss when she broke their contact. Not wanting to dwell on it, she tried to push herself to a sitting position, cringing when the bed squeaked under weight. Slipping out from under the covers, she breathed a sigh of relief when her feet were firmly on the floor.

Taking a deep breath and walking around to the other side of the bed as she straightened her clothes, Buffy hesitantly leaned over to brush her lips across his forehead, stopping a moment before she made contact and thought better of it, knowing that he wouldn’t like it.

“Bye, Spike,” she breathed, trailing her hand along his cheek before preparing to stand up.

“Where are you going, luv?” he asked, opening his eyes to look into hers.

Blinking and swallowing in surprise, Buffy didn’t think to stand up straight as she stared into his deep blue gaze. “I thought I’d go ahead and leave,” she murmured, trying to give him a soft smile.

“Don’t have to,” he said softly, reaching up to brush her hair out of her eyes.

“I think I probably should,” she said in a breathless whisper as his hand lingered near her face.

Realizing how close she was to his delicious mouth and feeling her pulse begin to race, Buffy took a shaky breath, calling on everything inside of her to move her lips away from the man she loved. Slowly standing up straight, she thought she saw a flash of disappointment in Spike’s eyes, but she knew she must have been imagining things.

‘Get out of here, before you embarrass yourself.’

“I should really go,” she said, trying to offer him a tender smile as she walked toward the ladder.

“I’ll walk you up, pet.”

“Spike, I’ve been here a million times. I think I can find my way to the door,” she replied. If she was honest with herself, she really wanted to spend as much time with him as she could, but if he did that, it would seem like too much of a date…and that would make her ache even more when it sunk in that this was all they would ever be.

“It’s alright,” he said, sitting up and rolling his head around his shoulders before standing. “I need to get some blood, anyway.”

He noticed that she didn’t cringe when he mentioned his dietary needs, like every other human seemed to. Instead, she merely nodded and began climbing the ladder.

She never made a face when he mentioned blood. She accepted all of him, just as he was, and never attempted to change him. That was one of the things he loved most about her. ‘Platonic love,’ he told himself, following her to the upper level and watching as she grabbed her bag and walked toward the door.

“I’ll see you later, Spike,” she said softly. “Thanks for letting me stay.”

“Anytime, pet,” he said before she got to the door. “Just promise me one thing, luv,” he added before she walked out into the sunlight.

“What’s that?” she asked, turning around to look at him.

“Promise me that you don’t really dream about the whelp,” he said, smiling when her eyes clouded over with repressed rage and laughing as he easily dodged the bag that she threw it at him.

Chapter 12 – Playing With Fire


Nervously pacing through the house that had become her home over the last few years, Buffy bit her lip as she listened to the sharp heels of her boots click on the floor.

‘Is this visit to check up on me or to check up on me?’ she wondered as she wrung her hands together.

“Buffy, sit down, sweetie,” Willow said, watching the young woman make another pass by the living room. “You’re going to wear a hole in the floor and you’re nervous for no reason.”

“Am I?” she countered, stopping in front of the redhead and looking back and forth between her and Tara. Ignoring Aubrey as the other young blonde stood in the corner, Buffy watched as the two witches exchanged a look, only serving to fuel her nervousness. “Not helping,” she muttered, resuming her pacing.

“Come on, pet,” Spike said from his position where he was comfortably sprawled along the couch. “Soulboy is a lot of things, but there’s no reason to get nervous or scared about him paying a visit.”

Taking a deep breath to control her emotions, Buffy frowned when she saw Aubrey look at Spike appreciatively.

‘Why is she even here?’ she wondered angrily. ‘Just because she lives in the house doesn’t mean she’s included in the family.’

To Spike’s credit, his eyes never left Buffy’s nervous form as he offered her a comforting smile.

Hearing the car in the driveway, both Spike and Buffy turned toward the door, each instinctively knowing that Angel had arrived before everyone else. Feeling Spike’s presence when he came to stand behind her, she turned to give him a grateful smile for his show of support. Willow and Tara came to stand in the doorway of the living room as Buffy took a calming breath, letting her hands run along her black pants in a silent effort to soothe her nerves.

Sensing Angel on the other side of the door, she slowly twisted the knob and opened it, revealing a man she hadn’t seen in over a year.

“Hello,” he greeted her in a cold tone.

‘Uh oh.’

“Hi,” she replied, forcing a smile onto her lips and trying to calm the nervousness that was welling up inside of her. Of course he could sense the tension no matter what, so it did her no good to try and calm down now that he was already here.

‘Stupid vampire senses,’ she grumbled silently.

“Aren’t you going to invite me in?” he asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

“You’re already invited,” she said, letting the fake smile fall away since he obviously wasn’t taking her emotions at face value.

‘Of all the times for him to actually read into a situation,’ she thought as he passed her. ‘And has he always been this tall?’ she wondered, suddenly feeling more intimidated now that everyone was combined in the foyer of the house. Rolling her shoulders slightly to get the tension out of her body, she let her eyes close briefly when she felt Spike’s hand brush against the small of her back.

Sizing up his grandsire as he walked through the door, Spike felt Angel’s eyes fall to him as soon as the door shut behind him. The look in his eyes made Spike want to take a step back and get away from Angel’s daughter at all costs. He could practically feel the claim washing over him in warning, nearly flooding his senses with the power of it as the older vampire stared at Spike. Of course it wasn’t a typical vampiric claim since Buffy wasn’t Angel’s mate, but she was his most precious possession and the warning was clear. The demon warned him to stay away, but the man in him was going to prove that he was there for Buffy…no matter what Angel thought about the situation.

“Hi, Angel,” Willow said brightly as Tara offered a wave. “Come sit down. Oh, and this is the new Slayer, Aubrey,” she continued as she took a few steps back into the living room and gestured to the other blonde girl.

Barely even greeting the other woman with a nod, Angel’s focus was on his daughter. Not taking the invitation to go into the other room, he simply continued to stare down at the small blonde girl, mildly surprised when her own strong gaze never wavered.

Spike narrowed his eyes as he sized up the situation, watching father and daughter stare at each other, his protective instincts going into overdrive at the thought that Buffy could be in a potentially threatening situation. And he wasn’t going to analyze the new turn of events that made him want to protect her as more than a friend or an obligation. He was about to take a step forward and put a stop to the staring contest when Buffy spoke.

“Why are you here?”

“I was told I was needed,” he replied, never breaking eye contact with her.

“Cordy had a vision?” she asked in confusion.

“No. More like…intuition.”

“What?”

“It seems she was reading into a conversation with Willow and thought that you might need some guidance.”

“Guidance?” Buffy repeated with a raised eyebrow, feeling her anger growing.

“You haven’t exactly been behaving yourself, have you?” Angel said, narrowing his eyes slightly when he saw the angry flush tint her cheeks. “I thought it might be in your best interest if I came to take care of things.”

“Oh, that’s rich,” Buffy replied with a scoff as she rolled her eyes. “It’s about time you actually got off your ass and did something.”

“Elizabeth-”

“That’s not my name,” she said in a low voice.

“Yes, it is,” he said in a low whisper.

“The hell it is,” Buffy replied. “Just because you decided to be a parent for a month and give me that name doesn’t mean that it still applies today.”

“Don’t test me, little girl,” Angel growled.

“I’ll do whatever the hell I want,” she challenged, ignoring the fact that Spike took a step forward, waiting to intervene if necessary.

No one had ever seen father and daughter go at it to this degree. Of course, Buffy was right, to an extent. Angel never did make an effort when it came to raising her. It wasn’t his fault- it was for Buffy’s safety- but judging from the darkening looks on both of their faces, neither was concerned with the specifics of the situation at that moment.

“I’m not some little girl who needs guidance,” she spat back at him, her voice filled with venom as she looked at a man who was her only family member, but at the same time, he was a virtual stranger. “I’m not a kid,” she said in a low, menacing voice. “And I can take care of myself.”

Passing him and walking toward the door, Buffy felt Angel’s hand grab her arm and shrugged him off. “Go back to Los Angeles,” she said in a low voice. “You’re not needed here.”

Not stopping to watch his reaction, Buffy walked out the door, feeling a small amount of satisfaction that she stood up to him, but an even more overwhelming feeling of loss that she’d cut off her only family member.

* * * * *

Seeing her walk through the door, Spike watched in stunned silence for a long moment before slowly walking toward the door.

“Where are you going?” Angel asked before the blonde made it out of the house.

“After her,” he replied, never looking at his grandsire.

“Is there something I should know about?” Angel called after him in a voice that was too calm for anyone’s likings.

With measured precision, Spike came to a stop before slowly turning to face the other man. “No,” he said in a low growl. “But I care enough about her to not let her wander around by herself on the Hellmouth.”

* * * * *

Wanting to work off her nervous energy, Buffy was practically pacing in circles around the cemetery, almost daring any unsuspecting vamps to walk by and try and take her by surprise.

Angel’s voice was ringing in her head, causing the tension to grow in her muscles until she was agitatedly rolling her arms and trying to release the stress that he had caused.

“You alright?”

Hearing the soft voice behind her, Buffy restrained the urge to turn around and throw herself into Spike’s arms.

“No,” she whispered, feeling tears stinging the back of her eyes. Refusing to turn around as she frantically tried to blink them away, not wanting him to think she was acting immature. She could sense him approaching and took a deep breath to steady her nerves. “I’m not alright,” she murmured. “But I just need a few minutes…alone.”

“No, you don’t,” he said softly, feeling her tremble when his fingertips gently ran along her back. “You don’t have to do everything alone,” he whispered in her ear, trying not to notice how the feeling of her so close felt so right to him.

Relaxing against him, Buffy briefly closed her eyes, biting her lip as she ran over the conversation that occurred with her father just moments ago.

“Where does he get off?” she asked after a moment, throwing her hands up in the air and resuming her pacing. “He raped and murdered for over a hundred years, and he thinks he can dictate to me about my life!?” she continued, gesturing to herself and never noticing Spike’s flinch as her description of Angel also matched his own past. “He drops out of my life for years, never even sending me a birthday card because it might endanger me, and then he thinks he can play the concerned father role?”

“He’s just worried about you,” Spike said, choosing his words carefully so that he wouldn’t set her off, since she seemed to be calming down.

Angrily kicking a tombstone, Buffy winced when it cracked under her strength. “Oops,” she said, making a face that Spike found adorable. Turning around with a deep sigh, she leaned heavily against the stone and let her legs give out on her, slowly sliding to the ground. Pulling her knees up to her chest, Buffy propped her elbows on top of them and ran her hands through her hair. “He just doesn’t get it,” she said, feeling the fight drain out of her as her head lolled back to rest against the cool stone. Studying the few stars that were shining through the clouds, she let a frustrated sigh flow from her lungs, vaguely noticing when Spike sat down beside her.

“I don’t think a lot of us ‘get it’,” he replied, watching as her eyes searched the darkened sky.

“No,” she said softly with an understanding nod. “I guess you don’t. I mean…it’s been a long time since you were a teenager, right?” she continued with a smile.

Spike chuckled, relaxing next to her. “That it has.”

“How old are you?” she asked, smiling when she noticed the surprised look on his face.

Pausing to think for a minute, Spike looked up at the sky. “Hundred and-”

“No,” Buffy interrupted, shaking her head. “How old were you when you were turned?”

“Why?” he asked, already uncomfortable with where this topic could be heading.

“Just curious,” she replied with a shrug.

“It’s been a while,” he murmured. “Little over thirty, I guess.”

“Really?” she asked, nervously playing with her thumbnail. “I would have guessed younger.”

“Not exactly a teenager,” he said with a smile.

“And why is it that everything that I think or feel is automatically written off as ‘a teenage thing’?” she asked, causing Spike to smile as she completely changed topics again. Seemingly going off in her own little world, he looked over at her, enjoying the infuriated look on her face as the thought of Angel got her worked up again.

He tried not to notice how beautiful she was when her brows crinkled to form a small line in between them or how her mouth pressed together in a tight line when she wasn’t speaking. Tilting his head when she began speaking again, he tried to push all thoughts out of his mind.

“Why can’t it ever just be because I have thoughts and feelings like a regular person?” she continued, trying to keep the whininess out of her voice and simply asking a question. “And I’m not talking about you…well…not just you,” she added with a smile, glancing over at him and quickly looking away when she noticed his intense gaze on her. “It’s everyone,” she said softly. “It’s everything. I just…I just want people to look past the exterior and see what’s going on inside, you know what I mean?” she asked, turning to look at him again and surprised when his lips were closer to hers than she remembered just a moment ago.

Leaning toward him, Buffy nervously licked her lips, nearly gasping when his eyes darted to her mouth before returning her hungry gaze. Meeting her halfway, his lips had barely brushed against hers in the softest caress when he heard a distant rustling of someone approaching. Pulling back and seeing the confusion in her gaze, it was immediately replaced by contempt when she heard the familiar voice.

“Spike? Buffy?”

“Over here, Aubrey,” Spike called, never letting his eyes break away from Buffy’s.

“Oh,” the Slayer said in surprise as she rounded the crypt, obviously not expecting to be intruding on such an intimate moment. “Um…Angel’s looking for you, Buffy.”

Finally tearing her gaze away from Spike, Buffy turned to look at the other woman. “Angel can wait,” she replied in a cold voice.

“He, uh…he told me to find you.”

“You found me,” she said, raising an eyebrow. “You can go now.”

Aubrey looked between the two blondes for another moment before nodding as she turned to leave.

Waiting a few minutes until Buffy knew she was gone, she finally relaxed.

“That was a little harsh, luv,” Spike said, lighting a cigarette after another moment passed.

Gritting her teeth, she looked over at him, narrowing her eyes as she studied the man sitting next to her. “Why do you always fall in love with Slayers, Spike?”

“Don’t think that applies to this situation.”

“Answer the question.”

“Not sure I’m following, Goldilocks.”

Well, it’s just…you’re going to live forever…”

“Yeah…”

“And they have a really short lifespan.”

Nodding in understanding, he took a long drag off his cigarette. “Just a glutton for punishment, I suppose.”

“Not to mention the whole vampire plus Slayer equation…it just seems a little unbalanced if they fall in love.”

“And here I was thinking that it created a balance,” Spike replied with a smile. It quickly faded when he saw the crestfallen look on Buffy’s face. “What’s wrong, pet?”

“Nothing,” she said too quickly, shaking her head as she stood up. “Absolutely nothing.”

Spike waited for her to run off. To try and hide from what she wanted him to know, but she stayed where she was.

“For your information it was Slayer, not Slayers. Singular. If you think I’m in love with her…”

“Does it matter what I think?” she asked, running her hands over her arms in an attempt to stop the chill that was coursing through her.

Standing up and shrugging out of his duster, Spike placed it over her shoulders and took a step back, needing the distance from her and from the feelings that were coursing through him. “It does.”

Chapter 13 – Lessons


“Get your act together,” Buffy mimicked Angel as she remembered his words to her before he left town. Smashing her fist into the unsuspecting fledgling, she felt a little bit of her anger recede- but only a tiny amount. She had decided that on her way to burn off some steam at the Bronze, she could burn off some steam by taking out her aggression on the vampire population. “You need to start behaving like an adult.” Kicking the vamp in the gut, he keeled over and looked around.

“Who are you talking to?”

“No daughter of mine will go around acting like that.”

“Like what?” the vamp asked, punching her in the jaw.

Buffy reeled back before striking again, letting the sharp heel of her shoe make direct contact with his knee. “That’s what I’d like to know,” she muttered, barely paying attention as she smoothed her skirt and continued. “What does he expect from me? Mr. Absentee Father decides to make a play for ‘Father of the Year’ and he suddenly thinks that he can just jump back into my life.”

Flying back into the side of a nearby mausoleum, Buffy winced as she reached around, gingerly touching the back of her head before an explosion of pain traveled through her body. Barely able to keep her eyes open, she vaguely realized that she had been hit in the temple with a small statue.

Trying to fight through the dizzying feelings that were crashing through her body, Buffy tried to stand, cringing when another sharp pain raced through her stomach. Looking up, she barely had time to see the blur of black leather and blonde hair as the fledgling was tackled.

‘Spike?’ she thought dimly, looking around to see where she was. ‘Spike’s cemetery…please be Spike.’

Hearing the familiar growl, she let herself collapse against the cold stone, trying not to let her eyes close. She was vaguely aware of the blue eyes that entered her line of vision a moment later.

“Stay awake, luv,” he said, giving her a shake for good measure before lifting her into his arms. “I said, stay awake!”

Seeing her eyes drift close, he felt panic run through him as the blood gushed from her head wound.

* * * * *

Trying to open her eyes and push the fog away, Buffy suddenly remembered the vampire she had been fighting. Bolting into a sitting position, she winced at the pain that the sudden movement caused. Panting for air, she tried to let her eyes focus in the dark interior.

‘Spike’s crypt,’ she thought, feeling her nerves moderately settle down.

“Buffy.”

Hearing the cold voice drift toward her from the shadows, Buffy flinched at the malice that laced through the words.

“Spike?”

Tenderly touching her stomach, she didn’t even have to look at it to know that there would be a nasty-looking bruise in the morning. Letting her hand travel up to her head, she was relieved to feel that the wound was closed before her eyes widened with the realization that Spike must have closed it. Tasting her blood and sealing the wound.

“What the hell were you doing out?” he finally growled, slowly stepping out of the shadows and letting the moonlight wash over him.

Hearing the tone of his voice and compiling it with the still-fresh memory of Angel’s criticisms, Buffy pushed herself to a standing position, straightening her tank top and glaring at the blonde vampire. “None of your damn business,” she yelled, ignoring the pain that accompanied her sudden movement.

Walking toward the door, she gritted her teeth when Spike practically materialized in front of her.

“What have I taught you?” he asked in a low voice, causing her to suppress a shiver from running through her. “Lesson the first- you never take your mind off your opponent.”

Feeling her temper raise as he spoke, she narrowed her eyes. “Lesson the second,” she replied, punching him in the nose. “Never underestimate your opponent.”

Seeing his eyes darken, Buffy was only mildly surprised when she felt the solid backhand that connected with her cheek.

‘Right,’ she thought, waiting for her vision to clear. ‘Chipless, soulless vampire, you idiot. He has no problem hitting a girl.’

Retaliating a moment later, Buffy slammed her fist into his nose again, seeing his jaw tighten upon impact before he grabbed her by her arms, throwing her against the nearby wall.

Squirming around in his grasp, Spike groaned, squeezing his eyes shut as she moved against him.

Finally breaking free of his hold, Buffy moved to punch him again, her eyes widening when he grabbed her arm and pivoted her around, using his body to press her against the wall. Her stomach and breasts smashed against the wall of the crypt as she tried to break free of his grasp, refusing to back down when he pushed her more forcefully against the cold stone.

“Are you done?”

Shoving back against him, she could have sworn she heard a moan coming from him before driving her elbow into his stomach and spinning around to face him.

“Not even close,” she replied with an arched eyebrow.

Seeing his eyes sparking with yellow in the dim moonlight, Buffy panted as she continued to look at him. Staring at each other for a long moment, she gasped when his lips crashed down on hers, causing her eyes to widen before shivering and eagerly kissing him back.

Each needing an outlet for their emotions, they renewed their battle through a different course, frantically clawing at each other, needing to feel as much of the other person as they could. Buffy’s hands shoved the duster down his shoulders, letting it fall to the floor as Spike slipped a hand beneath her shirt, squeezing her bare breast and swallowing her moan of pleasure.

Feeling him gather her up in his arms, Buffy’s body automatically responded, locking her legs around his waist as her hands held onto his shoulders.

Breaking away for a moment, Spike let his lips brush along the line of her neck, pausing to suck on the tender flesh and gently biting down with his blunt teeth. Hearing her breathy gasp escape her throat, he smiled as Buffy eagerly tilted her neck, allowing him more access.

“More,” she whispered, feeling his hands slip down her body and quickly shoving the skirt up over her hips. The sound of the zipper seemed to echo in the open space, but neither had a chance to think about what they were doing as Spike continued his ministrations on her neck. Buffy arched her hips against his body as his hands grasped her thighs in a bruising grip before traveling higher.

Pushing her soaked thong out of the way, he didn’t even have time to think before he was buried deep inside of her. Numbly hearing her scream of pain as their hips met, Spike pulled away in shock, feeling his heart constrict when he saw the tears in her eyes as she gasped and swallowed, trying to recoil from the sudden, unfamiliar invasion of her body.

“Oh God,” he muttered, pulling back and seeing the pain turn to terror.

“No!” she cried, holding onto him and pushing her hips against his, mildly surprised when the pain began to subside with the slight friction. “Don’t leave me,” she whispered, pressing a gentle kiss to his lips before looking at him again. “Please don’t leave me.”

‘This is wrong, this is wrong, this is wrong,’ his brain chanted before her warm lips captured his and effectively sent what was left of the blood in his brain, rushing south.

Following her movements and unable to control his own, Spike began pumping into her, trying to maintain his strength for the first few minutes until Buffy made it clear that she was enjoying it.

Whipping her shirt over her head, he stared at her as their hips moved together, her head thrown back in ecstasy as her nails scratched along the back of his neck. Her gasps and breathy moans combined with the occasional whimper and the slight aroma of her blood that hung in the air had Spike’s demon screaming to come to the surface.

Unable to control it any longer as he watched her face contort in pleasure, his vampire guise fell in place. He waited until Buffy looked at him before he moved closer to her. Seeing her tilt her neck in invitation, he willed himself not to look at it.

‘Too intimate,’ he thought, trying not to think how hypocritical that sounded in his head.

Moving lower, Spike let his fangs sink into the soft swell of her breast, feeling Buffy’s body shudder as tremors ran through her, sending her screaming out in climax. Breathing heavily as Spike pulsed inside of her, Buffy let her head roll back against the wall. Briefly closing her eyes as his fangs retracted, she slowly turned to look at him, seeing every emotion he was feeling reflected in his eyes as they melted from yellow to blue.

And she braced herself for the final blow.

Pulling away from her, Spike gently lowered her to the floor, waiting for her to straighten her clothes and put on her shirt before speaking.

“Buffy…”

“Here it comes,” she muttered, looking at the floor and trying to cover her nerves by smoothing her skirt.

“I…I think…”

“Tell me,” she finally said, raising her eyes to his and closing off all of her emotions. “Tell me it was a mistake. Tell me we can’t be together because I’m Angel’s daughter.”

“You’re too young,” he whispered, his voice soft as he looked at the floor, rubbing the back of his neck and trying to massage the tension away. “It was a mistake, because you’re too young.”

“Too young to be with, but not too young to fuck,” she spat at him, walking toward the door and feeling her entire body tense when he blocked her exit.

“That’s not what-”

Cutting himself off when she placed her hands on his chest, his eyes widened as she shoved him out of the way. Jerking the door open so fast, he was mildly surprised that she didn’t pull it off the hinges before she turned to face him again.

Her voice was a shaky whisper as she looked at him with contempt. “Fuck you, Spike.”

Chapter 14 – Wanting to be Wanted


Spike was practically growling as he walked toward the Bronze. It had been a week since he’d seen Buffy, and when he finally got the nerve to stop by her house and talk to her, Willow had informed him that she’d barely been home over the past week, simply stopping by to change clothes before leaving again. Completely ignoring Willow and Tara and evading Giles when he stopped by to see what was wrong.

‘She’s uncontrollable.’

This time, Spike did growl as Willow’s voice filled his head.

‘Something’s wrong and she won’t talk to anyone. She’s angry all the time and we don’t know where she goes or what she’s doing.’

Storming through the alley, he had just reached the door when the familiar scent of honeysuckle floated toward him, along with a sense of power that always seemed to accompany it. He knew that scent better than any other. It was permeated through his brain, making him always be away of her presence.

Barely turning his head to look over his shoulder, he gritted his teeth when he heard her soft voice drift toward him. Letting go of the door handle, he walked toward the shadows, feeling rage rush through him when he saw Buffy pressed against the side of the building by another man as his lips practically attacked her neck. Her eyes closed- whether it be in pleasure or restraint from pushing him away, he didn’t know, but she didn’t look like she was enjoying herself.

Spike didn’t mark her neck, but it still didn’t stop the possessive feelings to take control or the word that repeatedly flashed in his mind.

Mine.

Feeling the urge to torture someone for the first time in years, Spike noticed as one of the man’s hands steadily slipped under her shirt and climbed higher while the other hand began reaching for the hem of her skirt.

Stalking toward the couple, Spike brutally grabbed the man by his neck with a ferocious roar, barely resisting the urge to snap it like a twig as he tossed him against the wall. Feeling moderately satisfied when he slid down the wall in an unconscious heap, he slowly turned his gaze toward Buffy. Mildly surprised to see her angry expression, he breathed heavily, trying to resist the urge to beat some sense into her.

“What…the hell…are you doing?” she asked in a low voice, her eyes flashing as she stared at him.

“Watching out for you,” he said in a low voice, narrowing his eyes as he advanced on her as if he was a predator. Except he wasn’t the only one.

Taken by surprise when her fist connected with his nose, Spike restrained himself from returning the favor, already ashamed for his out of control behavior the other night. He refused to hit her again.

“So what’s the plan?” she asked angrily. “You don’t want me, but no one else can have me either?”

“I never said I didn’t want you,” he replied, his tone softening as he looked at her.

“It doesn’t change the facts, Spike,” she spat out at him angrily. “I’m not going to stop enjoying myself just because of what happened between us.”

‘Liar,’ her inner voice told her as Spike’s expression went from hurt to angry. She didn’t even want to be here, and she sure as hell wasn’t ready to move on, but she couldn’t go to Spike’s and she couldn’t go home and…she really shouldn’t have accepted the drink from the other man, further lowering her damaged inhibitions.

She knew it wasn’t the right thing to do, but…someone had wanted her. He had wanted her, and in her dejected state of mind, it felt good to be wanted. Even if it wasn’t by the right man. Even if it was just for a few moments, because in those moments, she could pretend he was someone else. Someone who clearly didn’t want her.

“I’m taking you home,” Spike finally said, reaching for her and frowning when she evaded his touch, stepping out of his reach.

“Take yourself home,” she said angrily, walking away from him. She didn’t know whether to be happy or hurt that he didn’t follow her.

* * * * *

Cutting through the cemetery on her way home, Buffy rolled her eyes when she felt an unfamiliar vampire presence make itself known. Spike’s signature was practically burned through her, letting her know when he was close, but this feeling definitely wasn’t familiar. Turning around to face the idiot who was stupid enough to cross her path tonight of all nights, her jaw tightened when she saw the group of six vampires behind her.

“You shouldn’t be here, Slayer,” one growled in her direction.

“I’m not the Slayer,” Buffy said through gritted teeth.

“You kill our kind. That makes you a Slayer in our book.”

“Yeah, well I’m not. I’m just a girl who’s able to kick your ass before you’re dust in the wind. Any takers?” she asked, holding her arms out beside her as she looked around the large group, refusing to let the tremor of fear she was feeling let itself be known as a chill crept up her spine.

Seeing the leader and two other vampires step forward, a stake practically materialized in her hand. Buffy immediately launched into her attack, staking one of the fledglings and battling the other two, sensing that the others were eager to jump in as well.

Hearing a roar behind her, Buffy flinched and did a quick flip along the grass, taking out another vampire as she stood up, surprised to see Spike fighting with the ones left over.

“Should have known you would have reinforcements, Slayer.”

“I told you,” she said through gritted teeth, landing a solid hit to the leader’s jaw. “I’m not the Slayer!”

Thrusting her stake into the unbeating heart, she breathed heavily when the dust exploded in front of her, revealing Spike on the other side, clenching his jaw as he tried to control his anger.

Glaring at him for a moment, Buffy turned on her heel and began walking away. Turning to follow, Spike stalked after her through the dusty remains of the half dozen vamps that had dared to take her away from him.

“I’m not done with you!” he yelled.

“Well, that’s just too damn bad!” she cried, stopping a few yards away and spinning around to face him, her hair flying around her shoulders with the momentum. “You’ve done all you’re going to do to me!”

Ignoring the pain and regret that flowed through him, Spike closed the distance between them and grabbing her forcefully by the arms, holding her firmly in place. Seeing the stubborn look on her face and trying to ignore the throbbing in his jeans, he gritted his teeth to suppress his desires. “Do you think you can just voluntarily decide you have a death wish?” he asked angrily. “Do you think you can just say, ‘I’m finished- to hell with destiny, to hell with who I am’? You don’t have it in you to be taken out by a vampire. It’s not who you are- it’s not what a Slayer is!”

Realizing a moment too late that he’d said the wrong thing, Spike briefly saw her chin quiver as she broke his hold and slammed her fist into his nose- again.

“I’m not the fucking Slayer!” she screamed as tears slipped down her cheeks, making his heart ache to take her in his arms. “Don’t you get that?! Maybe if I was one, you’d give me the time of day rather than treating me like a bratty kid sister or a girl to be fucked!”

“Buffy, I never-”

“And don’t even try and talk your way out of it. It was a mistake, remember?” she spat out, looking at him contemptuously as she threw his words back at him. “I’m too young! You’re so afraid of who you are or who you can allow yourself to be that you don’t even stop to think about what you could have.”

“I’m a vampire,” he said softly, trying to make her understand. “It’s not exactly written in the stars that demons get a happily ever after. It’s all about violence and death.”

“You’re such an idiot,” Buffy said, shaking her head and ignoring the tears that were falling freely. “Don’t you get it? Vampires may represent death to everyone else, but for me they mean life! Can’t you understand that?! They’re life…eternally. That’s what I was given by two of them and that’s what I’ve grown up with. Life and pain- that’s all I know and that’s all I’ll ever know as long as I stay around here!”

“What the hell are you talking about?” Spike asked in a softer tone, loosely grabbing her arm as she tried to walk away, tightening his grip when she moved to pull away from him.

“Let me go,” she said, struggling to break his hold on her.

“Not until you talk to me.”

“Fine, you want to know?” Buffy challenged, standing up straight to look into his eyes. “You’ll never have to see this mistake again!”

“What the bloody hell are you going on about?”

“I’m leaving. I’m getting out of here- away from this Godforsaken town and most of all, away from you!”

“Buffy-”

“Get your hands off me!” she screamed, renewing her struggle as he tried to pull her close, wanting nothing more than to fall in his arms, but feeling pain rush through her the closer she got to him. “I don’t want you touching me. God, don’t you see how much this hurts?” she asked tearfully. “Don’t you care that every time you come near me, it feels like you’re ripping my heart out all over again?” Finally freeing herself to step back and look at the shocked expression on Spike’s face. Seeing his watery eyes, Buffy stood in front of him trembling, wishing that she could make it all go away. Wishing that she could rewrite history and be a normal girl with normal problems. Wishing that she didn’t have to deal with the fact that she was in love with a man who was old enough to be her ancestor.

Turning on her heel and walking away, it took everything in her not to turn around when Spike called her name. He had no idea the agony that he caused her. He had no idea about the hundreds of nights that she had cried herself to sleep with her pillow muffling her sobs, because he couldn’t be hers and then cried even more when she realized that he didn’t want her.

“Buffy, don’t leave it like this, pet,” he called after her, watching after her until she was out of his sight.

Rubbing the back of his neck, Spike sighed heavily before letting his legs give out and dropping to the ground, allowing his hands to cover his face as he suppressed the tears he wanted to shed.

Why couldn’t she understand? Why couldn’t she see that if she was with him there would be nothing but sadness and pain? Feeling a tear slip down his cheek, Spike sighed when he realized that’s all he caused her anyway.

Feeling that the sunrise was approaching, he slowly got to his feet, deciding to wait and talk to her tomorrow after they’d both calmed down. He didn’t want to risk following her now and having to spend the day cooped up in the house, running the risk of getting thrown outside if it became too much for Buffy to handle. He didn’t seriously think she would do that, but there was no doubt that she was angry and she deserved a chance to cool off.

They both did.

Chapter 15 - Remembrances


Walking into her room, Buffy gritted her teeth as she looked around, surveying her surroundings. Biting her lip as she came to a decision, she dropped to the floor and reached under her bed, grabbing the large duffel bag from beneath it and tossing it on the mattress.

Trying to shut down the painful thoughts as she methodically walked around the room, gathering the belongings she wanted to take with her.

It was all too much. This town, her life…Spike. She just wanted to forget everything and actually get a chance to live for a change. A chance to walk around without having someone constantly checking up on her every hour.

Loading her clothes and other odds and ends into the bag, Buffy walked over to her dresser and dug around in a drawer until she found the simple white envelope. Double checking the contents, she breathed a heavy sigh as she looked at the neatly arranged bills. Her life savings.

Hesitating as she grabbed her bag, she felt her heart clench when she looked at the picture sitting on the dresser. It was taken the night that Spike was in a surprisingly good mood around the rest of the group. It had been a side of him that they had rarely seen, but it used to be his normal disposition when Buffy was around. Staring at the girl she used to be, she looked at the face that was giggling at the camera, blissfully content with the fact that Spike’s arms were wrapped securely around her waist and his chin was resting on her shoulder.

She didn’t want to take it. She didn’t want to have a remembrance of him.

She already had plenty of memories to remember him by.

Even if they weren’t of the good variety.

With a heavy sigh, she tucked the frame into her bag, securing it protectively between two of her shirts so it wouldn’t get broken before tossing the bag out the open window. Quickly climbing out, Buffy hesitated as she looked around the room. Knowing that she owed them some kind of explanation, she re-entered the house and grabbed a piece of paper and a pen before sitting down at her desk.

Wills & Tara,

I’m so sorry that it had to be this way, but I had to leave. I love you both and I hope you know that. I don’t want you to worry about me because I will be fine. Please believe me. I’ll call you...someday, but right now I just need to be on my own. I need to figure out who I am, and I can’t do that with everyone trying to tell me who I am. I know you’re probably thinking I’m too young, but I already know more about this world than most people do and I know I’m old enough to make it on my own. And please…don’t try to find me. Tell everyone that I’m sorry. I never wanted to hurt you and I never wanted to be a burden. Tell my father not to worry (even though we both know he will). And tell him I’ll be found when I want to be found. And tell Spike…tell Spike that I love him.

All my love,
Buffy

With a heavy sigh, Buffy folded the piece of paper once and placed it on the pillow before quietly slipping out of the house.

* * * * *

Spike couldn’t sleep. He had been at his crypt for hours, but Buffy’s voice was running continuously through his head and a nagging feeling was keeping him awake.

He felt as if he was losing something and he didn’t know what it was. The feeling wasn’t getting any better as the hours dragged on. In fact, he felt like he should be running out of the crypt, not caring whether the sun was shining.

Frowning when he heard the door open, he jumped out of bed, suddenly grateful that he hadn’t undressed when he’d arrived earlier.

Quickly scaling the ladder, Spike made it to the upper level and nearly knocked over Willow as she ran over to him.

“Whoa, Red. What’s wrong?”

“Buffy,” she said breathlessly, winded from her long run.

“What about Buffy?” he asked, suddenly becoming frantic with worry as the uneasy feeling hit him in the gut, full force.

“She’s gone,” Willow replied, still trying to catch her breath.

“Gone? Gone, as in…”

Wordlessly handing him the note, Spike skimmed over it, feeling his stomach tighten and a lump form in his throat as he finished reading.

And tell Spike…tell Spike that I love him.

“What do we know?” he asked, closing off his emotions as he began pacing through the crypt.

“That she came home at some point last night, apparently packed up some things, and stayed long enough to write a note.”

Spike felt as if his heart was going to explode with pain as her words from a few hours before came back to haunt him.

“I’m getting out of here- away from this Godforsaken town and most of all- away from you!”

“I didn’t think she meant now,” he whispered, looking at the dirt-covered floor in disbelief.

“What?” Willow asked in confusion.

“I thought she meant later,” he continued, not even remembering that the redhead was close to him. “For college or something. I didn’t…I didn’t think she meant she was going to leave now.”

“She told you?”

“We got into a fight,” he muttered, using all his strength to keep from falling over. “She said that she wanted to leave town. That she was going to get out of here. I just didn’t think she meant so soon.”

“Apparently she did,” Willow said softly.

Cracking his neck to try and ease some of the tension, Spike closed his eyes for a moment, trying to formulate some kind of plan.

“Try a spell,” he said after a moment, his eyes snapping open.

“A spell?” Willow replied, biting her lip.

“Locator spell, Red. You must’ve done them a million times.”

“Well…w-we would,” she said hesitantly, wringing her hands together nervously as she heard the mounting frustration in his voice. “B-but we kind of taught her how to counteract the spell…in case she was ever being followed. We thought…we thought it would be the best thing to keep her safe. We never imagined…”

“Bloody priceless,” he muttered, shaking his head.

“She said that she would be found when she wants to be,” Willow said softly. “I just can’t stand the thought of her out there all alone.”

“We’ll find her,” Spike said in a quiet tone.

Suddenly the feeling in his gut seemed to escalate. He wasn’t worried about Buffy surviving. Out of everyone he knew, she would be the one to endure whatever was thrown her way. Now came the bigger problem…telling Angel his daughter had disappeared.
Chapter 16 – When I Find Her...



Slowly walking into the Hyperion Hotel, Spike was suddenly wishing that he would have waited a little longer to tell Angel about Buffy.



‘Right,’ he thought with a scoff. ‘And then he finds out through one of his sources and wants to hunt you down…I don’t think so.’



“Spike?”



Turning toward the counter, he tried to offer the brunette a small smile.



“Cordelia,” he said, wanting to get on her good side since she might be the only level-headed one in the room after he delivered his news. “You look smashing. Love the hair.”



“Thanks,” she said, giving it a fluff as she walked around the counter. “I’m guessing you’re looking for Angel.”



“What gave it away?” he asked with a smile.



“The fact that you’re…oh my God, is it Buffy?” she asked, suddenly turning into a mother hen at the drop of a hat.



“Something like that,” he muttered, feeling his blood run cold when he heard the voice behind him.



“What about Buffy?”



Turning to face the other man, Spike took a deep breath.



‘Prepare for anything,’ he told himself.



“She, uh…she decided to take a little trip,” he said, hoping to mask the blow just a little bit. Ordinarily he would have loved to have seen his grandsire blow up, but when he was in firing range and when the news was this big, Spike wasn’t going to risk the chance of Angelus briefly emerging to fuel the rage.



“A trip?” Angel asked, raising an eyebrow as he walked down the remaining steps to stand in the lobby.



“Uh…yeah,” Spike offered weakly.



“Oh, for crying out loud!” Cordelia cried, throwing her hands into the air. “You’re telling us that Buffy ran away, aren’t you?”



“She what!?” Angel yelled, advancing on Spike only to be intercepted by Cordelia.



“Honestly, Angel, read between the lines,” Cordy said, rolling her eyes and looking at Spike. “He wouldn’t have made the trip here to tell you that she went on some little trip. He could do that by phone.”



“Where is she?” Angel growled, trying to get around Cordy to get to the blonde.



“Now, if I knew that, do you honestly think I would be here, staring at your ugly face?” Spike retaliated, his brows knit together as he restrained the urge to roll his eyes. He sure as hell wasn’t about to take his gaze off the man in front of him.



“What happened?” Cordy asked, keeping one hand firmly on Angel’s chest as she turned around to face Spike.



Unconsciously feeling Buffy’s note in the pocket of his duster, Spike wasn’t about to give it to him. Angel might be her father, but this was the last link that he had to his girl. Not to mention that he could still smell the slight trace of lotion that had been on her hands, making him want to find her even more and take her in his arms, never letting go.



“She went to go ‘find herself’, whatever that means,” he said with a sigh.



“Where do you think she is?” Angel asked, his eyes darkening as he watched the man in front of him, feeling Cordelia putting a subtle yet restraining hand on his arm.



Spike fought the urge to take a step away. Angelus was lurking too close to the surface for his taste. The soul was obviously doing little to restrain him, but he hoped that Cordelia’s presence would serve its purpose.



“I don’t know,” he said softly, taking a moderate amount of pity on Angel. The man couldn’t even see his daughter, even if that’s what he wanted. Now he didn’t even know where she was or if she was safe. Spike could feel the sorrow that Angel was feeling since it almost equaled his own. “Somewhere crowded,” he continued. “She said she wouldn’t be found until she was ready and she’d call Willow…someday.”



“Someday?”



“I’m just repeating what I know,” Spike replied, growing more frustrated by the moment. He wanted to find Buffy more than anyone and the tone of voice that Angel had, implying that Spike didn’t even care, was grating on his nerves. “If I knew more, if I knew how to get her back, I would.”



“A locator spell,” Cordy said with a smile, looking between both men. “We get Wes and Fred to work up a little bit of mojo, find her, make sure she’s safe and-”



“We’ve thought of that,” Spike interrupted, moderately surprised when Angel continued his thought.



“Willow taught Buffy how to counteract it. It was the safest plan in case anyone was ever trying to track her…I never thought that I would be the one who needed to track her,” he muttered, pinching the bridge of his nose.



“We’ll figure something out,” Spike said in a quiet tone, looking outside as he desperately wished for Buffy to walk into the hotel.



‘And when I find her…’



* * * * *



Walking through the streets of Las Vegas, Buffy looked at the neon lights that seemed to be everywhere, causing an explosion of colors to decorate the night sky. After hitchhiking to Los Angeles, which wasn’t the smartest move, but she knew she was strong enough to take care of herself, she had gone to the bus station and bought a ticket for Vegas. She didn’t even want to be in her father’s city, but the idea of hitchhiking to another city wasn’t appealing.



A baseball cap had covered her long blonde hair, and she was fairly confident that she hadn’t been seen.



Buffy didn’t even want to be in Las Vegas- it was too close to California for her liking- but if she was going to be able to live off her money for a long time, she didn’t have the luxury of going wherever she wanted at the drop of a hat.



She’d found a small, cheap studio apartment. It was already furnished, but after she found a job tonight, she was hoping to start saving for a new bed. The apartment was fairly clean, but she shuddered to think what that mattress could be infested with.



Feeling paranoid, Buffy continued to look over her shoulder as she watched the people in the street. She knew that she couldn’t be ‘Buffy Summers’ anymore, and it could draw more attention than she wanted if she went back to ‘Elizabeth Angel’. She hated to think of the demons that could still be after her, even after all these years. Knowing that everyone would be searching for her, using one of the two names, Elizabeth Giles had been born. Buffy was close to Giles, but she knew that no one would ever assume she would take his name. It was time to grow up and start living for who she wanted to be.



It was time to start a new life.


Chapter 17 – Wherever She Is


One Year Later


Standing in the shadows, blue eyes narrowed as he watched the blonde exit the building. Her arms linked with a tall dark-haired man as they followed the rest of the group down the street. He watched her joking and laughing, without a care in the world. Obviously there wasn’t a thought in her head about the trouble she’d caused and the concern that everyone had for her.

And it pissed him off.

Spike had only one thing on his mind as he followed them down the strip- get to Buffy.

Now that she was so close to him, he was filled with a mixture of affection and rage. The part of him that had missed her and worried about her for over a year wanted to take her in his arms and reassure himself that she was alive and okay. Then there was the part that had worried about her and was now watching her laughing with her new friends, showing him the carefree side of her that he used to be privileged to. And this side of him was filled with anger at the idea that she didn’t seem to care that so many people were searching for her. The anger soon had him seeing red as that side won the internal battle.

Stalking after her, Spike anticipated their path, quickly cutting through an alley in time to intercept the group at the other end.

Watching as Buffy playfully nudged her shoulder against one of the men, his jaw clenched as he restrained the urge to bestow some violence on the unsuspecting group, needing a release for some of the tension. The demon in him screamed to come to the surface and prove who she belonged to, but he was barely able to keep an impassive look on his face as he watched them approach.

Leaning against the brick wall and crossing his arms over his chest, he waited for her to notice him.

Seeing the looks that the other women in the group were giving him, Spike ignored them as they passed. Tossing her hair over her shoulder, Buffy looked up with a bright smile on her face. It soon slipped away as her eyes widened when her gaze met his.

Coming to a complete stop before she had even reached him, Spike never tore his eyes away from her as the man she was with gave her a confused look.

“Everything alright, Liz?”

Narrowing his eyes at the name and the fact that another man was so close to her, Spike pushed away from the wall, slowly walking toward her like a predator.

“Yeah, Liz,” he said, venom dripping from his voice. “Anything wrong?”

“You know him?” the guy next to her asked.

“Old friend,” Buffy replied softly, tilting her head slightly to study Spike before a sardonic smile played on her lips. “Really old.”

Seeing Spike’s glare deepen, she felt her breath catch in her throat. She didn’t like that look. Especially when it was directed at her.

“Umm…you know what, guys? Why don’t you go on without me?” she said, breaking contact with the other man and taking a step back from the group.

“You’re sure?” one of her friends asked, looking between the two blondes in concern.

“Yep,” Buffy said, forcing a smile as she waved her friends away. “This shouldn’t take long. I’ll catch up with you later.”

Waiting until her friends were out of earshot, Buffy’s gaze never left Spike’s.

Not a moment had passed over the last year that he wasn’t present somewhere in her thoughts. He was a constant fixture in the back of her mind…and she hated it. She wanted to move on, she wanted to get over him and be normal and not pine after a vampire who didn’t want her.

But that didn’t stop her from wondering about him.

Now that he was standing in front of her, she had no idea what to do.

“Where’s my father?” she finally asked, crossing her arms over her chest, trying to look indifferent and not succeeding.

“With Cordy,” he replied, clenching his jaw in anger. “Following a lead and searching for you in New York.”

“Why aren’t you with him?”

“I’ve already been to New York. And apparently you aren’t there.”

Seeing a movement over Spike’s shoulder, Buffy’s eyes narrowed when she saw Aubrey standing there, slightly out of breath after her sprint to catch up with Spike.

Watching Buffy’s expression darken, he looked over his shoulder and noticed the Slayer. “Give us a minute,” he said to her, waiting until Aubrey walked a few feet away before turning back to Buffy.

“Why the hell are you here?” she asked angrily, not bothering to disguise the contempt in her voice.

“To take you home.”

“If I’d wanted you to find me, I would have called and told you where I was,” she hissed, glaring at him.

“I’ve been worried about you.”

“Really?” Buffy asked skeptically as she tightened her arms around her body, obviously trying to protect herself from the conversation, even if she couldn’t physically do that. Looking over his shoulder to see Aubrey, no doubt trying to hear their conversation from the distance, her anger only grew. “In between all the time that you’ve been fucking the new girl?”

“Buffy-”

Trying to walk past him, she narrowed her eyes when Spike grabbed her arm.

“If you’ll excuse me,” she said in a low voice, tightening her jaw as she looked at him. “I have a date.”

“The hell you do.”

“Don’t even try it,” she said in a deadly tone. “You think you can just jump back into my life and dictate where I go or who I’m with?” She smiled when she saw a brief flash of jealousy in his eyes before continuing, “You can’t. I’m a big girl now, Spike. I’m all grown up, and in case you didn’t notice, your newest toy is only two years older than me, so try the age thing on someone who buys it, because I really couldn’t give a damn about what you do anymore.”

Staying quiet as Buffy jerked her arm out of his grasp, Spike waited until she walked away before turning to the Slayer.

“Go back to the hotel. Don’t bother getting me a room- I’ll find a place to stay before sunrise.”

“I don’t know if I like that plan,” Aubrey said, jealous that the man she wanted to be with never gave her the time of day because of the little blonde who had willingly walked out of his life.

“Relax,” Spike said, pinching the bridge of his nose. “If the sun rises, I’ll just stay in one of the casinos. No chance of sunlight penetrating this city with all the artificial light around here to block it.”

“You sure you don’t want to just share a room with me?” she asked hopefully.

“For the last time,” Spike growled. “No. It’s not gonna happen.”

“Where will you be?” Aubrey called after him as he turned around and began walking down the street.

“Wherever she is.”



Chapter 18 – Drastic Measures


Walking through the club, Spike’s eyes flashed amber as he watched Buffy dancing. Her hips swaying seductively while her hands moved through the air, finding the beat of the music. He could see the men that were clamoring to be close to her and his rage was building to an inferno level.

As a sultry beat began, Spike threaded his way through the crowd, clenching his jaw when he noticed her movements slow down as she teased the men who were watching her. It took everything inside of him to not walk over and sink his teeth into her neck, showing these pillocks exactly who she belonged to. He had never felt so much regret than at that moment. He could have claimed her when he had the chance, and now he couldn’t even get close to her.

Not bothering to wait for an invitation, he stepped up behind her, securely wrapping one arm around her waist and pulling her against his chest. He could feel the tension in her muscles as she realized who was holding her, but she soon relaxed as Spike began moving to the seductive rhythm.

Buffy’s breathing became more erratic as she felt him grind his erection against her lower back, allowing her to feel exactly what she was doing to him. Letting his hands slip beneath her shirt and brush the flat muscles of her stomach, Spike smiled as his lips caressed her shoulder, enjoying the effect that he was having on her and the fact that she hadn’t pushed him away.

“What are you doing?” she whispered breathlessly.

‘Taking back what’s mine,’ he thought, deciding not to voice his possessive thought.

“Dancing,” he replied in a husky whisper as one of his hands slipped lower and rested on her hip.

“We really shouldn’t,” she said, closing her eyes, letting the sensations wash over her.

“Why not?” he asked, his lips once again kissing along her bare shoulder before nipping at the sensitive flesh, resisting the urge to let the demon come to the surface and mark her.

Realizing what she was doing and who she was practically doing, Buffy jumped away from him as if she’d been shocked.

Feeling the loss of warmth in his arms, Spike frowned, looking down at the young woman in front of him as she spun around to face him.

“No,” she said softly, her voice barely heard over the music. “You can’t do that,” she continued, the frustration evident in her voice. “You can’t just come here and expect me to…”

Trailing off, Buffy finally turned to walk away in frustration. Quickly catching up to her, Spike refrained from grabbing her arm, knowing that would be a good way to get a punch in the nose when her emotions were so close to the surface.

“Buffy! Come on now, stop,” he said, following her out the door. “You can’t just walk away from this.”

“What part of me walking away do you not understand?”

“We had a fight. It wasn’t our first and it was no reason to leave town,” he said, following her through an alley. “It doesn’t change anything.”

Spinning around to face him, Buffy suppressed the tears that wanted to make themselves known as she clenched her jaw. Anger was easier to control. “It changes everything, Spike!” she cried in frustration. “I don’t want you anywhere near me. Can’t you understand that? I wanted to be able to start a fresh life without worrying that I would never be enough for you, and then you just show up and…”

Buffy trailed off as she turned to walk away, leaving Spike to shake his head and follow her.

“No. It’s not that easy. We have something, Buffy. And maybe I was too scared to see it a year ago, but we have something. It’s not pretty, but it’s real, and there’s nothing either one of us can do about it. Like it or not, I’m in your life- you can’t just shut me out.”

“Why not?” she asked, whirling around to face him again. “That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

“Not true,” he said, narrowing his eyes. “Don’t ignore this just because you’re not ready to face it.”

“Why?!” she screamed at him. “When you’re ready to talk about something, it’s okay? But when something happens between the two of us…when something life-altering happens to me, I should wait until you’re ready?!”

Spike’s expression softened as he tilted his head to look at her. “Life-altering?”

“My first time was up against the wall of your crypt after we’d had a fight. I think it’s safe to say that it was life-altering.”

“Buffy-”

“Oh, just shut up,” she said in frustration as she turned around to walk away.

“Is this a PMS thing?” Spike asked.

He never saw it coming. She grabbed the nearest thing that she could reach and hurled the full soda can at him, smacking him right in the face. Groaning in pain as his hand came up to stem the blood flow, Spike nearly growled at her.

‘Bloody hell, the chit has perfect aim for my nose, even when she’s throwing things at me.’

Watching him for a moment, Buffy took a deep breath, wanting to calm her raging emotions. “Spike,” she whispered. “I disappeared for a reason. Can’t you show me the same courtesy?”

“Courtesy?” he practically roared, standing up straight and forgetting about the throbbing pain in his nose as the blood continued to pour out. “Do you have any idea how worried we were about you? How everyone had to put everything on hold because of your thoughtlessness? You’re eighteen years old, Buffy. Seventeen then- do you really think that we would all just let you disappear and not worry about you?”

Looking down at the ground, Buffy sighed as a slight pout played on her bottom lip. “I’m sorry I ran off like that. But it was for the best.”

“Why?” he retaliated, taking a step closer to her. “To turn you into a jaded and cynical woman?”

“No,” she said, gritting her teeth before slowly looking up at him. “You did that all on your own.”

Taking several calming breaths as she turned and walked away from him, Spike squeezed his eyes shut in frustration. “Sod it,” he muttered, turning around and walking the opposite way, never noticing when she turned around.

Biting her lip as she watched him walk away, Buffy fought the fresh tears in her eyes.

He was right.

She was jaded and cynical.

Here she was, taking it out on him when it was all her fault. She had been the one to run away. She had been the one to start a new life and cut herself off from everyone she loved. Including the one person she still loved more than anyone.

* * * * *

It took Spike an hour before he calmed down and decided he could face Buffy without coming to blows. Finishing off his cigarette before walking into the apartment building, he quickly walked up the flights of stairs and resisted the urge to pound on her door, choosing to calmly knock instead.

Opening the door, Buffy’s eyes widened when she saw Spike standing on the other side. His head was tilted toward her as his eyes narrowed.

“Care to invite me in?” he asked in a cold voice.

“Not really, no,” she replied, crossing her arms over her chest, trying to show that she wasn’t intimidated by his tough guy act.

“I’m warning you, Buffy,” he said, tightening his jaw.

“Or what?” she asked with a smirk, feeling overly confident with the invisible barrier separating them. “There’s nothing you can do, Spike. Go home. I don’t want you here.”

Seeing the door slam in his face, Spike cracked his neck in irritation as he took a deep breath. Glancing around the hallway, he considered breaking the door down. Just because he couldn’t walk in didn’t mean that she could ignore him. Taking a step forward to do just that, Spike paused as another thought occurred, causing a slow smile to spread across his face. He knew that Buffy would be watching him through the peephole, wondering what his next move would be. Looking around the hallway once again, he shot a meaningful look at the door before turning around and knocking on the apartment door behind him.

Waiting for a moment, he could practically feel Buffy’s eyes boring into him when the woman answered. Spike flashed his most charming smile, the one designed to make anyone melt. “Elizabeth Giles?” he asked, tilting his head and continuing before she could correct him. “I was told that you were the best at what you do. What’s the hourly rate, luv?”

Suppressing the bright smile when the door swung open behind him, Spike slowly turned to look over his shoulder, seeing Buffy’s bright red face as she looked at her neighbor in mortification.

“I am so sorry, Mrs. Kendall. Spike was just kidding, weren’t you, Spike? Tell her,” she demanded, looking at him with contempt.

“I might have been,” he replied, raising an eyebrow at Buffy.

“H-he likes to play jokes,” Buffy continued, looking at her stunned neighbor with a nervous smile. “Get in here, Spike,” she continued, pronouncing each word carefully and seeing the satisfaction gleaming in his eyes.

Turning back to her neighbor, Spike gave her another smile. “She’s right, pet. I was only teasing, so don’t go worrying that pretty head about it, alright?”

Waiting until the woman relaxed before turning away, his gaze soon fell to Buffy, never taking his eyes off of her as he walked through the door to her apartment.

“How dare you?” she hissed, slamming the door behind her as Spike turned away and inspected the apartment. The small kitchenette to the left with the large island that acted as a table and a divider for the room. The living room, set in the back left corner of the spacious area, containing a couch, chair, small television and a coffee table. The bathroom in the other back corner. And the gauzy curtains that hung to his right, pulled back and revealing a large bed with a soft down comforter. The entire place practically reflected Buffy and who she was. He tried to ignore his growing desire as the combination of Buffy walking toward him and the bed that was so close to his right began to affect him. Everything was practically overwhelming him as her scent surrounded him.

Their first and only time had been so rushed and brutal. All Spike wanted to do was take her in his arms and ensure that she was there with him. That he had found her. That he could make love to her the way he wanted to for years.

“I asked you a question,” she said in a deadly tone, bringing him crashing back to reality.

“Drastic times call for drastic measures, Goldilocks,” he replied, turning to look at her. He suppressed the smile that threatened to form when she flushed and looked away under his gaze.

“I wouldn’t call a lack of an invitation ‘drastic’,” she replied, walking into the kitchen and grabbing a bottle of water out of the refrigerator before slamming the door shut so hard that he could hear the bottles inside rattling from the force. Boosting himself up on the island, he eyed her up and down as she turned around and took a sip of her water.

“Aren’t you going to offer me anything to drink, pet?” Spike asked, running his tongue along his bottom lip as his eyes swept over her neck.

Suppressing the smirk when he saw her flush and look away, he quickly reached out and grabbed her wrist. Tugging her toward him in the narrow space, she was quickly situated between his legs, looking up at him with wide eyes.

“What is this?” she asked softly, breathing heavily as she looked at him. “Why are you doing this?”

Slowly lowering his head until his lips were nearly brushing against hers, Spike carefully watched her reaction as he spoke. “Maybe I think it’s time to do something about it,” he said in a husky whisper.

Realizing what he was saying, Buffy angrily pushed him away and walked out of the small area. “You’ve already done something about it,” she said angrily. “And you decided you didn’t want me, remember?”

“Did I ever say I didn’t want you?” he asked, hopping down from his seat and following her into the bedroom, ignoring the fact that she had pulled the curtains free of their ties to separate the rooms. As if a scrap of cloth would keep him away after he’d been searching the country for a year.

“What about Aubrey?” she asked, spinning around to face him with contempt in her eyes. “Isn’t she your newest toy?”

“Damn it, Buffy! I told you back then that there was nothing going on between us!”

“But she loves you,” Buffy whispered softly, biting her lip as she looked away, walking over to the window and hugging her arms around her body.

“How do you know that?” Spike asked, his tone softening as he watched her.

“Because she looks at you the way that I used to.”

“Used to?” he repeated, unable to keep the disbelief and uncertainty out of his voice.

“Just leave it alone, Spike,” she murmured.

“Fine,” he replied, taking another look around the apartment. “Where am I sleeping?”

“What?!” she yelled, spinning around to face him.

“You heard me,” he said with a smirk. “I thought you might want to keep me around.”

“You thought wrong,” Buffy practically growled, turning back to the window so that he wouldn’t see her face flaming red.

“Right then,” Spike said, walking toward the door. “I guess I’ll have to track down Aubrey, since she offered me a warm bed for the night.”

“Yeah, I’ll bet she did,” Buffy muttered, rolling her eyes.

Hearing the front door open and close, she bit her lip, thinking for a moment before turning to go after him. Swallowing a scream when she saw him leaning against the door, Buffy glared at the arrogant expression on his handsome face.

“Knew you wouldn’t let me go,” he said with a smile, pushing away from the door as he shrugged out of his duster and tossed it on the bed. “Looks like the bed is big enough for two.”

“I don’t think so,” Buffy said, shaking her head. “You’re on the couch, bleach boy.”



Chapter 19 - Connection


Spike couldn’t sleep. Not that it was entirely unexpected, considering the object of his every thought for the last year wasn’t even a room away- separated only by a piece of fabric.

He could hear everything.

Every time she sighed.

Every time she rolled over.

And every tear that she cried.

Unable to take it anymore, Spike stood up from the couch and walked through the apartment, wearing only his jeans. Running his hand through his disheveled hair as he pulled back the curtain separating the rooms, he could barely make out her figure as he looked at the bed. Illuminated only by the faint trace of sunlight that edged the heavy curtains, he felt his heart swell as he continued to stare at her small form.

Taking a few steps forward and putting his knee on the bed, he waited for her to tense up, but she remained relaxed, even as he put his full weight on the mattress, laying down next to her and running a comforting hand along her back.

He heard the tears and sniffles and slowly shifted his weight, pulling her securely against his chest. Glancing up for a moment, his eyes narrowed when he saw the picture displayed on her nightstand. The two of them looking blissfully happy with his arms wrapped around her waist.

They looked like a couple.

Studying the picture for a few more moments, his attention was pulled away from it when the scent of another tear slipping down her cheek turned his focus back to the woman in his arms.

“Buffy,” he breathed, nuzzling her hair as he waited for a response. Spike frowned when he heard the steady thumping of her heart, accompanying the tears that didn’t stop. His eyes widened when he realized that she was asleep.

‘Does she do this every night?’ he wondered, pulling her more firmly against him as he tried to soothe her. ‘And does she cry herself to sleep or start crying in her sleep?’

Gently raising the hem of her shirt, Spike let his hand cool the heated skin of her stomach, feeling himself grow hard at the breathy moan that she gave him.

“Spike?” she whispered in confusion, turning her head to look at him in the dimly lit room as she tried to pull herself from the dreamlike reality.

“It’s me,” he murmured, trailing his lips along the column of her neck.

‘What’s happening?’ Buffy wondered, closing her eyes and shaking her head at the feel of his lips caressing her skin. ‘This must be a dream. Spike doesn’t want me. Not really.’

But the soft kisses he was leaving on her skin and the downward spiral that his hand was traveling were telling her otherwise.

“What are you doing?” she asked breathlessly.

“Nothing you don’t want,” he said softly.

‘Damn him,’ she thought, gritting her teeth when she felt his fingertips slip under the waistband of the satin pajama pants, teasing the skin he came in contact with, but never falling any lower, even when Buffy unconsciously arched her hips, craving his touch.

“Missed you,” he murmured, closing his eyes as he breathed in her scent. “Missed you so much.”

She felt as if a fire was building inside of her. Silently willing his hand lower, she nearly gasped when it inched down a little bit more.

“Please,” she gasped.

Briefly considering teasing her for a moment, Spike decided that would only be a good way to get kicked out of her bed. Allowing his hand lower access, he grew painfully hard when he discovered how wet she was.

He could feel the heat radiating off her body as he slipped a finger inside of her, feeling her muscles automatically clamp around it. Suppressing a groan as his eyes rolled shut, Spike cursed himself for not taking it slower with her their first and only time together. For not taking his time and relishing in the feel of her as they moved together. For not committing every second of being inside of her to his memory. It had been a year and the memory of their time together wasn’t enough for him. He wanted more.

Of course, it wasn’t like he’d had much control over himself, their first time together, but the way she was responding to him, was nearly driving him crazy with lust.

Her reaction had been similar a year ago, but it was mixed with pain. The kind of pain that he never wanted to cause her.

‘Should have held back,’ he thought. ‘Should have given her a night she deserved instead of taking advantage of her.’ Closing his eyes as he kissed along her neck, trying not to notice the way her entire body seemed to arch against his hand, simultaneously baring the left side of her throat to his hungry gaze.

Fighting every natural impulse that was trying to battle its way to the surface, wanting him to sink his fangs into her jugular, he contented himself with letting his blunt teeth graze along the exposed skin that was offered. Sliding a second finger inside of her, he was soon rewarded with a gasp as her body shuddered in pleasure.

“Let it go, luv,” he whispered, smiling when his cool breath against her ear, combined with his hand working between her thighs, sent a shiver through her. “Just let it go.”

Feeling a sense of panic run through her when his fingers suddenly left her body, Buffy nearly screamed in frustration as they immediately brushed over her clit. Clutching at his arm, needing to find something to hold on to, her fingernails dug into his skin as her hips raised to meet his hand.

She knew she couldn’t hold off anymore when his fingers thrust into her again, letting his thumb gently run along her most sensitive spot. Turning her head toward him as her orgasm washed over her, she sought out his lips but couldn’t find them. Biting down on his arm to suppress a scream, she heard Spike groan in pleasure as he thrust his painfully hard erection against her lower back.

Gasping for breath as she slowly came down, she let her head fall back on the pillow as her body was trembling under his touch when he didn’t stop his movements.

“Too much,” she whispered, shaking her head and weakly pulling at his arm, breathing heavily when he didn’t stop. “Spike, I-I can’t.”

Her stomach clenching in anticipation when he abandoned his hold on her, Buffy’s eyes rolled shut when she felt him settle between her thighs, seconds before his tongue ran along her opening. Teasing her for a moment as her hands grasped at the sheets, she thrashed beneath him.

“Spike, I just ca…”

Trailing off with a cry of pleasure when he latched onto her clit, she arched her entire body against his mouth as he gently bit down, sending her spiraling into a second, more powerful orgasm, nearly blacking out when he didn’t stop his ministrations.

Reluctantly pulling away from her, after a long moment, Spike moved up her body, seeing her slowly open her eyes to look at him.

Slowly realizing what just happened, Buffy gently pushed him out of the way and quickly sat up, still shaking as Spike reached for her, pulling her against his bare chest.

“What is it, pet?” he asked, brushing her hair off her shoulder and leaving soft kisses along the column of her neck.

“Nothing,” she murmured, feeling dizzy under his tender, comforting touch. Shivering when he kissed the back of her neck, her eyes slowly opened as he began to brush the hair away from the other side of her throat. “No,” she whispered, letting the world come crashing back to her as she pulled away.

Standing up and pushing herself away from the bed, Buffy backed away from him, feeling her heart leap into her throat.

“What is it?” Spike asked, quickly getting up and crossing the room in concern.

“We can’t do this,” she whispered, stripping off her shirt and pants and quickly getting dressed in jeans and a tank top. Her movements were a blur as Spike watched her shake her head before she leaned against the wall. He watched as her hands traveled up to her temples, obviously trying to suppress the headache that was wanting to make itself known. “I can’t do this.”

“Alright,” Spike said with a nod, taking another step toward her. “It can wait.”

“No,” she murmured, biting her lip. “This can’t happen. Ever.”

Turning toward the door, wanting to get as far away as possible, she was surprised when Spike blocked her path, pinning her against the wall with a confused expression.

Barely able to keep himself from panicking, he tried to remember what happened to cause this kind of reaction. Looking over his shoulder at the bed, his brows furrowed in confusion. ‘She sat up, I kissed her neck, started to move to the other side and…’

His eyes widened for a brief moment before narrowing into dangerous slits. Angrily spinning around, he grabbed her wrists in one hand, using his body to pin her more firmly against the wall, gritting his teeth as he pushed her hair away from the right side of her neck. The same side that he now realized she had kept carefully concealed since he ran into her.

Clenching his jaw so tight that he was mildly surprised when it didn’t crack, he felt himself begin to unnecessarily breathe, the air flowing through his lungs with sharp gasps as he met her gaze. Buffy looked away, closing her eyes as Spike turned back to the scar on her neck.

The growl slowly filled the room, causing Buffy’s trembling to worsen as Spike’s demon emerged. “You’ve been claimed?!”




Chapter 20 - Explanations


The anger seemed to be rolling off of him in waves as Buffy looked into his golden eyes with a tremor of fear coursing through her. She had never seen that look in his eyes- crazy, chaotic, out of control. And it was disconcerting that it was directed at her.

“Answer me,” Spike growled, gripping her shoulders in his strong hands.

Something inside of her snapped at his tone of voice. Who the hell was he to play the protective role?

“None of your damn business!” she cried, shoving him away to send him flying into the bed and angrily spinning around. She wasn’t stupid enough to think that he would let it go; she knew that he was just distracted for the moment. Buffy tensed when she felt his hands grab her shoulders once again before she could reach the door.

“Where do you think you’re going?” he asked in a warning tone.

“Explain to me how that’s your business?” she retaliated, spinning around to face him. Her eyes widened slightly when Spike slowly advanced on her, backing her into the wall. His features melted into his human mask as he tilted his head to look at her with cold blue eyes.

“Everything you do is my business,” he said in a low voice that was too calm for her liking.

“What’s the problem?” she asked, narrowing her eyes as she mimicked his movements, tilting her head toward him. “You don’t want me, so no one else can have me either?”

Seeing a blur come toward her head, Buffy cowered, not wanting to be hit in the face when she was pressed against the wall with nowhere to go. Jumping when his fist connected with the wall, she winced as the plaster cracked and his hand disappeared for a moment. As he pulled his hand away, Buffy rolled her eyes when she saw the hole that remained. ‘There goes that cleaning deposit.’

“Now…you’re going to answer me or-”

“Or what?” Buffy shot back, setting her lips in a firm line as she watched him. “You’ll do that to me?” she asked, gesturing to the wall.

“Tell me who did this,” he said in a warning tone that allowed no argument.

“None of your damn business,” she replied in the same deadly tone.

She never saw it coming.

Buffy barely had time to gasp as Spike shifted into his demon guise before lunging at her throat, viciously tearing at her skin and covering the previous mark. Squeezing her eyes shut, her mouth opened in a silent scream as he took deep pulls from her blood. Gritting her teeth after a moment, she was vaguely aware of how dangerous this was for Spike, considering he was disrespecting something that was steeped in tradition, but the other part of her brain didn’t care. The part that felt violated as he wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her flush against him, grinding his erection against her as his other hand held her head firmly in place.

“Spike,” she whispered weakly.

Part of him wanted to turn her. The demon in him was calling for him to do just that. To show her and everyone else who she truly belonged to. But the man inside of him knew that Angel would kick his ass if he did that. He knew that Angel would probably do that anyway, once he discovered that Spike had the nerve to mark his daughter. But it wasn’t just the man in him that was holding him back. It wasn’t the lack of a soul or the fact that he could practically feel a soul burning through him whenever he was in contact with Buffy. It was the stronger part of himself that didn’t want her to lose the vibrant quality that caused her to breathe life into everything she touched.

And he was taking that away.

Realizing that her heartbeat was slowing down, Spike’s grip loosened on her as he extracted his teeth from her neck, licking the blood that pooled from the fresh mark, helping to stem the flow and close the wound. The claim was weak, almost non-existent, making it easier for him to bite her.

Pulling back to look into her eyes, Spike swallowed. Suddenly feeling as if he had just violated her when he saw her pain-filled expression, he watched as she weakly shoved his arms away from her body, breaking all contact with him.

She didn’t want to be touched.

Taking a few steps back to get some clarity on the situation, Spike’s brows knit together as he looked at Buffy, feeling everything that he had just done come crashing back to him. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, looking away so he didn’t have to see the tears in her eyes even as the taste of her blood lingered on his tongue.

“What? Violence wasn’t enough for our first time together?” she asked, trying to cover how hurt she was with anger, even though the tears began spilling down her cheeks. “Anytime you do anything remotely intimate, it has to be on your terms?”

“Now wait a damn minute-”

“No! You wait! I’m tired of being your little plaything that you want to use whenever you have some kind of itch to scratch,” she said, holding her hand to her neck as she tried to stem the blood flow. “This is my life now and I’ll do whatever I want. So get the hell out of my home!”

Stumbling over to the door, Buffy was about to jerk it open when she saw his hands slam against the flat surface on each side of her, restricting her in the small space. Spinning her around, Spike could see the sparks that were shooting in her eyes as she glared at him.

“I’m not leaving,” he said in a low voice, his face only inches away from hers as he looked directly into her eyes. “Now…you’re going to go sit down and explain to me who the hell had the nerve to take what’s mine.”

“Yours?” she asked in a falsely calm voice as she spoke in a deliberately neutral tone. “I’m not yours. I’ve never been yours!”

“Think whatever you want, baby,” he whispered, tilting his head and giving her a slow smirk as his lips got even closer to hers. Searching her eyes for a moment, he saw the lust that clouded them for a moment as his expression softened, bringing his mouth closer to hers without ever making contact. “You belong to me. Now tell me,” Spike said in a deceptively low voice, narrowing his eyes on Buffy.

“What do you want to hear about, Spike?” she whispered in a seductive voice, taking on an innocent look. “The way his teeth plunged into my neck? The way his body felt against mine? Or how about the nights of ecstasy that I’ve spent writhing in someone else’s bed?

Spike’s hold on her tightened until she was sure her bones would shatter under the pressure, but she held his gaze. For her part, she didn’t flinch under the brutal hold, but Buffy briefly wondered if he was restraining himself from snapping her neck, and judging from his murderous gaze, he was.

His chest rose and fell with involuntary oxygen as his jaw clenched, never letting his eyes leave hers.

Feeling a tremor of fear race along her spine, she felt her scream of surprise swallowed by Spike’s lips as he angrily crushed his mouth to hers. Battling her into submission, he slowly pulled away, seeing anger cloud her green eyes.

“You better be joking,” he whispered, watching as she clenched her jaw.

“And if I’m not?” she asked quietly, not letting him know how much the kiss was affecting her.

“Who did this, Buffy?” Spike murmured, trying to make his expression soften as he ran a finger along the swollen flesh of her neck, the blood flow slowly trickling as the wound healed itself.

“You,” she hissed, narrowing her eyes. “It wasn’t even five minutes ago, or did you forget that little detail?”

“Who claimed you?” he asked through gritted teeth, trying to control his temper and not lose his patience.

Sighing in acceptance, Buffy tore her eyes away from his, her entire body sagging.

“Look, I…I was stupid when I first came here,” she whispered, pulling away from him and walking back to sit down on the bed, curling her knees up to her chest in an effort to protect herself. “I wanted to…I wanted to get back at you…I wanted to hurt you.”

“What did you do?” he asked, trying to keep the anger out of his tone.

“I started…there was this place that people go to, so that they can…get a rush.”

“You went to a nest?” he growled.

“Something like that.”

“Then what?”

Nervously letting her feet fall to the floor, Buffy took a deep breath as she stared at her hands, trying to figure out what to say next.

“The first time, it…it was nothing. I hadn’t been here that long and I just…I just wanted to do something to take my mind off you.”

“And then?”

“It got more intense,” she whispered. “I went to the same guy…vampire,” she corrected. “Each time. I felt like I was guaranteed not to die if I went to him.”

“Still listening,” Spike said in a deceptively low voice.

“And then he…got attached.”

“And claimed you,” Spike filled in, nodding before standing up and cracking his neck, trying to keep the anger from rolling out of him. He wanted nothing more than to scream at her. To yell at her and ask how stupid could she possibly be. But then the rational side of his brain kicked in, reminding him that he drove her to this. He pushed her away, made her run to this city, and it was probably his fault that she craved the darker aspect of her nature now. If it wasn’t for him, she would still be happily tucked away in her home in Sunnydale. She wouldn’t have the memory of her innocence being ripped away at the hands of a monster.

“And after that?” he asked, unable to turn around and face her as he tried to control his emotions.

“I ran away,” she whispered. “I didn’t want to belong to him or anyone and I sure as hell didn’t want to mate with him…I just wanted to feel better.”

“Claims don’t work that way, pet,” he whispered.

“I know,” she said softly. “But I didn’t return it, so it’s not strong. He…he tries to use it, but I don’t go to him. And he doesn’t know how to find me.”

“Then you two haven’t…?”

“What? No! God, no, Spike. The only person I’ve ever been with is…”

Finally turning around to face her, he frowned when she looked away, unable to meet his gaze. “Is me?” he finished for her, seeing her nod her head in agreement and breathing a sigh of relief.

Letting a soft smile play on his lips, Buffy glanced at him before rolling her eyes. “Don’t act so smug about it. It’s just not my style to go jumping into the bed of some random guy.”

“Didn’t say a word,” he murmured.

Briefly clenching her jaw, she narrowed her eyes. “Let’s keep it that way.”

Walking toward her, he frowned when she shied away from him, turning her head and giving him a perfect view of what he’d done to her moments earlier.

“I’m sorry I did it like that, luv. Never wanted to…just lost control, is all.”

“Happens a lot with you, doesn’t it?” she asked angrily, obviously referring to their first time together as she whipped around to face him. Seeing the shame on his face, she sighed. “Look…I’m sorry. That was as much me, as it was you. I knew what I was doing…I was the one who should have thought about what I was getting into and I shouldn’t throw it in your face like that.”

Slowly nodding, Spike averted her gaze as he looked at the mark on her neck.

“S-so what happens now?” she asked, wringing her hands together, suddenly nervous under his unwavering gaze.

Continuing to stare at the mark for a moment, letting anger fill him at the thought that some other vampire touched what was his, Spike’s eyes narrowed. “Now, I go out and find him.”

“And then what?” she asked, looking at him with a worried expression

“I kill him.”

“It’s not like it’s going to be that easy, Spike. Isn’t claiming the ‘be all, end all’ of vampire relationships?”

“Usually.”

“And you…you bit me,” she whispered, looking at the floor as the feeling of betrayal washed over her again.

“I did. And I’d do it again.”

“Not very comforting.”

“Sorry, pet. Didn’t mean it that way.”

“What I mean is…isn’t there something complicated that happens now? I mean, if you had…cared enough to claim me, then…”

“I do care,” he whispered, closing the distance between them and taking her chin in his hand. “It just wasn’t the right time for us, Goldilocks. I didn’t just want to possess you, I wanted to mate with you and that…it wasn’t the right time,” he reiterated.

“You wanted to mate with me?” she asked in shock.

Spike’s eyes widened when he realized what he just said, knowing that it was too soon for that. “Hypothetically…um…if I was to claim someone, I would want it to be about more than just the physical.”

“I see,” she muttered, taking a deep breath as her heart plummeted once again. “But didn’t you just break some kind of vampire constitution by biting me?”

“Yeah. Guess so. But he broke it first.”

“What do you mean?” she asked in confusion.

“Not important,” he replied. “As soon as he’s dead- problem solved.”

“Then what’s the point of claiming?” Buffy asked, pacing around the apartment. “If you can just ‘challenge’ it, then there’s really no purpose.”

“There’s a purpose, sweetheart,” he said softly. “A deeper, more intense connection. Feeling what the other feels. Added protection. Of course, that’s if the claim is reciprocated, which…it wasn’t…was it?”

“No,” she said softly, shaking her head as she bit her lip.

“Besides all that, not just anyone can challenge it. Has to be an older, respected vampire. It’s not like a fledgling can come along and decide he wanted to take you away from me.”

“Him,” she corrected.

“What?”

“Take me away from him,” she said softly. “I don’t belong to you.”

A low growl escaped Spike’s throat, causing Buffy to finally raise her eyes to his, surprised at the hardened gaze she encountered.

“Who is it?” he asked, narrowing his eyes as he tried to erase her words from his mind.

“A guy named Billy Fordham,” she whispered. “Goes by the name Ford.”

Spike’s brows knit together as he tried to place the name, unable to come up with anything.

“Is there sewer access in the building?” he finally asked.

“I think so,” she said softly. “In the basement.”

Without looking at her, he quickly put on his shirt and shoes, grabbing his duster as he walked toward the door.

“Spike!”

Turning around, he tried to keep his expression neutral as she looked at him.

Seeing the nervous way she was wringing her hands together and the way she was biting her lower lip, he tilted his head to look at her, unsure what she was about to say.

“If you kill him…will it hurt me?” Buffy whispered.

Understanding dawned on him as his expression softened. Walking toward her, he tenderly cupped her face in his hands, brushing his lips across her forehead before pulling back to look in her eyes.

“I would never do anything to hurt you, luv,” he whispered, letting his thumb gently caress her cheekbone, smiling when she subtly leaned into his touch. Reluctantly pulling away, Spike turned back to the door. “I’ll be back soon.”

Chapter 21 – Reversal Effects


It took the better part of the day to track down Billy Fordham, but that wasn’t surprising. Amazing what kind of information could be acquired when the person who’s doing the asking inflicts enough pain. The sun had already set, and Spike was eager to finish this and get back to Buffy.

Standing in the shadows of the bar, Spike studied the young man, feeling the familiarity wash over him. Narrowing his eyes on the brunette, he couldn’t refrain from closing his eyes and shaking his head at the irony.

‘Bloody hell,’ he thought to himself. ‘The annoying ponce who wanted to trade Lucy for immortality…I guess she didn’t expect me to turn him after the plan backfired.’

Strangely, the rare thought of Lucy didn’t send a pain through his heart and gut like it usually did.

He realized that he hadn’t felt it in a long time.

Unless he was thinking about Buffy.

Clenching his jaw as he remembered that this was the man who had dared to mark her, Spike walked over to the bar, waiting until Ford turned around before speaking.

“Remember me?”

Staring at him for a moment, Ford’s eyes widened in comprehension. “Spike? Man, it’s been forever. What brings you to Vegas?”

“You,” he said in a low voice, inwardly smiling when some of Ford’s bravado fell away.

“Is that right?” he replied, trying to keep the easy smile on his face. “Well, I’m a little busy tonight, but-”

“Oh, I think we can make time,” Spike growled, grabbing him by the back of the neck and dragging him out the door.

Throwing him against the wall as they exited the building, Spike called his demon forth, growling as he looked at the other man.

“What did I do?” Ford asked, more out of irritation than fear.

“You tried to claim my girl.”

“Buffy?” he asked with a smile. “Didn’t just try- succeeded. Didn’t know she was yours, though.”

“Well, now you know,” Spike replied, his eyes flashing as he looked at the other man.

“You know, if she’s your girl, why didn’t I feel your claim?”

“Because I didn’t give her a claiming bite.”

“Then she’s not yours,” Ford said, keeping the same annoying smile on his face.

“Oh, she’s mine,” Spike retaliated, smashing his fist into the other man’s jaw before grabbing his collar and slamming him into a wall again. “You just have to look a little lower, mate,” he continued in a low voice, seeing the look of surprise on Ford’s face. “Making a little more sense now?”

“Look, she didn’t say anything and-”

“Doesn’t matter,” Spike growled. “You had the nerve to touch the woman who belongs to me. I’m the one she consensually gave herself to…she’s mine, and right now…you’re just in the way.”

Not giving the other man a chance to react, Spike thrust the stake into his unbeating heart, letting a smile cross his face as the dust exploded around him.

* * * * *

Buffy gasped at the tightening feeling in her neck, shuddering as it spread through her body before an uncontrollable trembling took her over. Breathing heavily, she closed her eyes as the feeling of relief passed through her.

She felt free.

* * * * *

Walking into the apartment building an hour later, Spike was surprised to see Buffy moving around the room restlessly. Seeing her tuck a stake into the waistband of her pants, he watched as she turned toward the door, nearly jumping out of her skin when she saw him standing there, her hand flying up to her chest as she gasped.

“What’s wrong, luv?” he asked, shutting the door behind them.

Hiding the fact that she was relieved to see him without a scratch on him, Buffy began walking toward him.

“Why would something be wrong?” she asked in a bored tone, not meeting his gaze as she walked passed him, reaching for the doorknob.

Grabbing her arm before she could make it out the door, Spike pulled her back to him, looking into her eyes to see what was wrong.

“Talk to me, Buffy.”

Briefly clenching her jaw as she reached into her pocket and extracted a cell phone, Buffy shoved it toward him, seeing his brows knit together as he looked at the small object. Recognizing his phone, he clenched his jaw when he realized he must’ve left it behind in his hurry to find and kill Ford.

“Call Aubrey,” she said in a soft voice, not willing to admit how jealous she was saying those two words as she avoided his gaze.

“She called?” he asked in confusion, cursing himself for forgetting the phone and consequently making Buffy possibly think that he’d been lying to her.

“About five times,” she replied in an irritated voice, slipping on her leather jacket over her tank top and walking out the door.

“Where are you going?” he asked, following after her and slamming the door behind them.

“Out,” she tossed over her shoulder, adjusting the coat around her body as she jogged down the stairs.

Catching up to her when she walked out the door, Spike cut in front of her, sending Buffy to an abrupt halt.

“I know what you’re thinking,” he said in a quiet voice. “And it’s not true.”

Rolling her eyes, Buffy walked around him, cutting through the first alley she came to and gritting her teeth when Spike continued to follow her.

“It’s not…it’s you, Buffy. Just you,” he continued, trying to make her understand the full extent of his feelings toward her. “Talk to me,” he pleaded, once again cutting her off, not allowing her to pass by him as he blocked her path.

Refraining from hitting him in the nose, Buffy took a deep breath. “I have a life now. I don’t need you following me everywhere and…don’t you have some phone calls to return?” she asked, tossing her head to the side in mock ignorance before trying to move around him, only to be stopped again.

“You are more important than this,” he insisted, holding up the phone before putting it in his pocket.

Ignoring the thrill that rushed through her, Buffy desperately held onto her frustration and anger, unwilling to let him wedge himself into her life.

“You just don’t get it, do you, Spike?” she asked, crossing her arms over her chest and leveling him with a cold gaze. “You don’t belong here. This is me now, and you don’t fit in my life. You had that chance and it’s gone now.”

Clenching his jaw in irritation, Buffy arched an eyebrow, refusing to be intimidated as his eyes sparked yellow.

She’d grown up.

The last year had turned her into a person she didn’t know she could be. And she wasn’t about to give up the feeling of independence and solidarity that she had created for herself.

Especially not for the man who had pushed her away and then did an about-face and decided he wanted her back.

Even if she did still love him.

“I have been searching for you for a year,” Spike said in a soft, menacing tone. “If you think I’m going to turn around and go home, leaving you here by yourself, you’re sadly mistaken.”

“You just don’t get it, do you?” she asked in exasperation. “I’ve been here by myself. I’ve survived and created something that no one was willing to let me do.”

“Because you were seventeen!” Spike yelled.

“And I’m not anymore,” she replied, throwing her arms out to her sides as her temper began to rise. Closing her eyes to control her emotions, she slowly opened them and took a calming breath. “I don’t need you assuming the protector role. I’m a big girl now, Spike. I can protect myself. I’ve been able to do that for years, but you just never cared to notice.”

“And if I want to be in the protector role?”

“I’ve had enough of being protected. Especially from…”

Trailing off and looking skyward as the familiar presence washed over her for the first time in over a year, Buffy licked her lips with a heavy sigh, not bothering to turn around as a disbelieving smile formed on her lips. “Hello, Father.”

Chapter 22 – Father to Daughter


Closing her eyes for a moment as she tried to control her emotions, she slowly reopened them to look at Spike.

“I’m guessing this wasn’t a planned visit,” Buffy finally said in a tight voice, narrowing her eyes on Spike as she spoke to her father. “Did you get a phone call?”

“I did,” Angel said in a cold voice, slowly walking toward her.

Spinning around to face the larger man, she saw the anger in his gaze but refused to back down. “What’s the matter?” she asked, forcing a smile on her lips. “Not happy to see me?”

“Where the hell have you been?” he growled, his shoulders hunched as he visibly refrained from attacking his own daughter.

“Here,” she replied in a light voice before looking around the alley with a smile. “Well…not here here. I live around the corner. Cozy little place, maybe you should drop by sometime.”

Her patronizing tone of voice nearly sent Angel over the edge as his fists clenched at his sides.

“Don’t mock me, little girl,” he said in a low tone.

“Go mock yourself,” she replied, her smile falling, revealing the anger that was boiling, barely contained below the surface. “You two think you can just dictate my life,” she continued, turning her gaze to Spike. “Thanks for calling him, by the way. Really makes me want to trust you again.”

“Buffy, pet, I di-”

“And you,” she said, turning to Angel and narrowing her eyes. “Shouldn’t you be huddled up in a hotel somewhere? Doing your part to keep me safe? I mean, we’re in an alley for crying out loud. Anyone could see us and put it together. Anyone can hear me call you father.”

Fighting the tears that entered her eyes when Angel looked around, Buffy took a deep breath, trying to control her breathing.

“You know,” she said in a soft voice. “Just once, it might be a good idea to actually pretend to care about me. Keeping me alive is one thing- proving you’re actually a father is another story entirely.”

“Fine,” Angel replied, crossing his arms over his chest until he had circled around her, standing a few feet away from Spike. “You want me to play the father card? Then why the hell did you run away?”

Seeing the panic in Spike’s eyes, Buffy briefly smiled in his direction, deciding to let him worry for a moment longer.

“You mean you don’t know?” she asked, crossing her arms over her chest, mimicking Angel’s stance as she looked between the two vampires in front of her. “I thought you were an investigator, Angel,” she said, spitting out his name as if it was poison. “Seems to me that after a year, you could have figured it out.”

“What’s that?” he asked, taking a step forward as neither made a move to back down from the battle of wills.

Buffy could practically feel the nerves radiating off Spike as he prepared himself for the attack he was sure would happen.

“There were certain…developments…that made me want to leave.”

“And they would be?” Angel asked, not giving an inch as Buffy’s gaze briefly flitted over to Spike again. She was suddenly glad he didn’t have a heartbeat- she was sure that Angel would have heard it and figured something out.

“Let’s just say…there were certain things that led to the ultimate, climactic decision to leave,” she replied sarcastically. Worried for a moment that she might have taken it too far with that comment, she prepared to step in and separate a possible fight, but Angel didn’t pick up on it.

“You scared the hell out of all of us. Do you not even care?”

Letting the mask fall away for a moment, Buffy looked at him with a soft expression. “I’m sorry for that. Really, I am. But it was necessary.”

“And why the hell is that?” Angel asked, his voice rising as his temper grew.

“What did you expect?” she asked, throwing her arms out to her sides as she grew more frustrated. “Did you think I would just sit around and let everything pass me by?” Noticing the tightening of Angel’s jaw, Buffy continued, “I was escorted everywhere for seventeen years! I was never allowed to actually have a life, and now that I have that, you all are mad at me for actually going out and trying to live! Well, I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I worried Wills and Tara. I’m sorry that I was selfish and conceited for wanting to see who I was and what it was like to live on my own. I’m sorry that everyone felt like they had to look for me, even though I told them not to. But I’m not sorry for leaving- I’m sorry that you found me.”

Turning around and walking through the alley, Buffy sighed.

‘Should have known that would be too easy,’ she thought when both Spike and Angel appeared in front of her. ‘Great. They disagree on everything from blood to women for hundreds of years, but the overprotecting of Buffy, they both agree on.’

Locked in a staring contest with Angel once again, Buffy soon rolled her eyes. “You’re not taking me back there,” she said, crossing her arms and shaking her head to prove her point. “This is my home now and I’m not leaving.”

“Don’t be too sure,” he said in a low voice.

“I’m eighteen,” Buffy replied, not backing down. “Even if you wanted to, you couldn’t do anything legally. And you’d be surprised how much of a workout a single girl gets in Las Vegas when she goes out alone. I’ve dusted more vamps here than I ever did in Sunnydale, so I wouldn’t advise picking a fight with me.”

“Are you saying you’d dust your own father?” he asked with a sardonic grin, already knowing that she wouldn’t.

“No,” Buffy replied, shaking her head as she continued to look at him with an indifferent expression. “But I am saying I’d kick your ass without thinking twice.”

Seeing the smirk on Spike’s face as he turned away from Angel to hide it, Buffy felt a smile pull at her own lips but quickly swallowed the urge when she saw her father’s expression darken.

Rolling her eyes, Buffy shook her head before turning to look back at the two men in front of her, deciding to try a different tactic.

“I’m not going anywhere,” she said softly, shaking her head. “You know where I am. You knew the day would come when I wanted to leave and it’s here. I’m sorry if you’re not ready for that,” she continued, directing the statement at Spike. “And believe it or not, I am sorry that I worried everyone.”

“If you think I’m going to leave now that I’ve found you, you’re-”

“Dad,” she whispered, cutting him off with her soft words as she looked into his eyes, letting her expression soften to prove that she was still just a girl. “Go back to L.A. You said it yourself- I’m not safe when you’re near me. So, go home.”

The indecision was plain in Angel’s eyes when he realized what she was saying was true.

Waiting for his decision, Buffy nervously reached up, preparing to tuck a lock of hair behind her ear before she saw Spike’s eyes widen. Remembering the swollen bite mark on her neck, she quickly smoothed her hair into place, hoping Angel hadn’t noticed the flash of panic on her face.

Seeing Angel glance around the alley as if he was waiting for an ambush to jump out at them, she knew that she’d won this battle.

“Here,” he said, reaching into his pocket and extracting a cell phone. Buffy took it with a confused expression, looking between the small object and her father. “Keep it on you at all times.”

“Why? So you can keep track of me all the time?” she asked, trying to smile at him.

“Basically,” he replied, his expression finally softening as he gave her a smile of his own, obviously not comfortable with the idea of leaving, but not comfortable with staying, either.

Stepping forward and wrapping his daughter in a strong embrace, Angel held her in a bruising hold. Closing her eyes to try and battle the tears that were forming, Buffy made sure to position herself so he wouldn’t smell Spike’s scent on her neck. She had done her best to clean the bite mark, but knowing her father, he would still notice if he got particularly close to that side of her.

Battling the tears as he pulled away, Buffy offered him a tentative smile, trying not to cry as he stepped back. Yes, she wanted to be independent and have her own life, but it still didn’t fill the void that the absence of her father had left. She wanted a father, not a guardian.

“Don’t be surprised if Cordy moves here for a few months,” Angel said with a smile, seeing the distress on her face and trying to lighten the mood. “She’s been worried sick, and I’m sure she’d want to check out the stores in this city.”

Buffy giggled, relieved that she would be able to hold the tears back as she nodded. “No complaints here.” Pausing for a moment as she looked at the ground, she ignored the fact that Spike was still watching the entire conversation and probably still expecting there to be a surprise attack if the wrong information came out. Looking up at Angel, she let a smile play on her lips. “I missed you, Dad.”

“Missed you, too,” he replied, running his hand over her hair before stepping away. “I’m just a phone call away.”

“I know,” she said with a nod before turning her gaze to Spike. “And I am sorry.”

Both men watched her turn to walk away before Angel turned to the blonde. “And why didn’t you call me when you found her?” he asked with a slight growl in his voice.

“Because I just found her,” Spike replied. “I was trying to figure things out, make sure she wouldn’t run again.”

“And this has nothing to do with any feelings that might be there between the two of you?”

Resisting the urge to shift his weight from foot to foot or avoid the older vampire’s eyes, Spike shook his head. “You know how I feel about her,” he said, hoping that would be enough to appease his grandsire. “I want her to be safe.”

“Speaking of which- I should get out of here,” Angel said, looking toward the colorful lights of the city before turning his gaze back to Spike. “You know she’s not going to want you to stick around, right?”

Feeling the pain in his heart multiply, Spike glanced in the direction Buffy had walked in. His whispered words seemed to drift through the alley. “I know.”


Chapter 23 – Why Now?


Trying to unwind from the talk with her father, Buffy sat in her apartment, letting her head roll along the back of the couch as she kept her eyes closed. Not surprised to hear the knock on the door, she didn’t bother getting up to answer it. Knowing who was on the other side, she merely waited until the door opened.

“Why bother knocking?” she asked, never turning to face the him as she heard the soft click of it closing behind him. “Knocking is simply a way of asking for an invitation, and you’re going to do whatever the hell you want anyway.”

Slightly disconcerted when he didn’t say anything, Buffy fought the urge to turn around, not wanting to give him anymore power in the situation.

“I didn’t call him, Buffy,” Spike said from behind her, watching as she turned her head slightly, but still refused to face him. She didn’t have to look at him to know his hands were shoved in the pockets of his duster and he was nervously waiting for her to turn around. “I guess Aubrey did.”

“Have you talked to your girlfriend yet?” Buffy asked, standing up from her seat on the couch and ignoring him as she walked past, into the kitchen area.

“She’s not my girlfriend,” he said with a sigh. “We work together.”

“Cozy,” she muttered, grabbing a bottle of water out of the refrigerator and slamming the door shut.

“Bloody hell, woman! I stayed here last night, or did you forget that little piece of information?”

“I didn’t forget,” she said softly, still not turning to look at him as she fought the tears in her eyes, trying to distract herself by playing with the cap on the bottle. “But you shouldn’t have.”

“And why’s that?” he asked, anger tingeing his voice.

“Because she’s in love with you,” Buffy replied, finally looking into his eyes and seeing the confusion in them. “And I was in that position…I know how it feels, and I know how much it hurts when you used to choose her over me.”

“So…what then, Buffy? I’m supposed to go shag her because you don’t want me here?”

Carefully hiding her reaction, she shook her head. “Do what you want to do,” she muttered. “Just don’t use me as a pawn in whatever you’re trying to play.”

“And what’s that?” he growled.

“How the hell should I know,” she said in a soft voice, clenching her jaw while she stared at him before walking back into the living room. “Maybe you do love her and want to make her jealous. Maybe you decided that I was a good ‘shag’ and wanted to try it again. Maybe, in some weird way, this is your plan to get back at Angel, since he actually had a relationship with Lucy before she died. I don’t…”

Trailing off when her shoulders were grabbed in a brutal hold, Buffy kept her calm mask firmly in place as Spike looked at her.

“It’s not any of that and you know it,” he said in a dangerous whisper before giving her shoulders a strong shake. “You know it, Buffy.”

The emotion in his voice shocked her as she looked into his pleading eyes. Tearing her gaze away, Buffy took a deep breath, trying to control her emotions.

“Go home, Spike,” she whispered miserably. “Just go home. I told my father and now I’m telling you…I’m not going to run- I have a life here and I’m going to stick with it. At least for a little while longer. I promise not to disappear again- just…just go home.”

“I can’t,” he whispered, turning her gaze toward him, looking at her through pained eyes.

“Why not?” she asked, fighting the tears that were threatening to emerge. “Why stick around? What’s the point, Spike?”

Gasping when she felt his lips on hers in a surprisingly tender kiss, Buffy felt lightheaded as his tongue gently swept along hers, eliciting a soft moan when his hands abandoned her arms to thread through her hair.

Enjoying the simplicity of the kiss for a moment, she slowly broke away, feeling a profound sense of loss when she saw him staring at her. His eyes were the most expressive that she had ever seen. Pulling herself away before she gave in to her desires, Buffy avoided his gaze as she stepped back.

Looking at her for a long moment while he gasped for unneeded air, Spike closed his eyes, realizing what he had to do.

“I’ll go,” he said softly after a moment. “I’ll go back to Sunnydale… give you the space you need, but you’re not going to shut me out, Buffy. Sooner or later, we’re going to work this out.”

Hearing him walk toward the door, she closed her eyes, battling the tears that were fighting to make themselves known. Letting her weight fall to the couch, she dropped her head into her hands, letting her palms put pressure on her forehead as she tried to stop the ache that was forming.

“Why now?” she whispered miserably, almost to herself, not bothering to look up as Spike turned back to face her. “Why did you have to come back now? Why did you have to want me now?”

Slowly walking toward her with a heavy sigh, Spike pulled his duster around him as he sat down on the coffee table in front of her. Nervously running his tongue along his bottom lip before answering, he took a deep breath as he hesitantly reaching forward and tilting her chin up until her eyes were looking into his. “Because you were too young, pet,” he whispered. “And I wanted you…God, how I wanted you,” he muttered to himself, running his hand over his face. “But it wasn’t right. Even when we actually…lost control…it was too soon. I wanted to wait. I wanted it to be right, and when it actually happened…I panicked. Wanted to take a step back, Goldilocks, but I never thought you would run off when I was trying to get some space.”

“What did you expect?” she whispered, once again avoiding his eyes as she looked at the floor in misery. “That you could ignore a seventeen year old girl and the problem would just go away?”

“Should have known better,” he said with a soft smile. “Too little, too late, eh, pet?”

“I’m still young, Spike,” she said softly.

“You are,” he agreed with a nod. “But things are…different…now.”

“Yeah,” she replied, taking a deep breath to steady her nerves and gain the courage to say what she needed to say. “Things are different…and I think it’s time for you to leave.”

Turning away so she wouldn’t have to see the hurt look on his face, Buffy bit her lip, wondering if she was making a mistake.

Seeing him stand up and walk toward the door, she could feel the tears that were burning her eyes, knowing that it was going to be a long night of sobbing into her pillow.

“Spike,” she whispered, watching as he paused with his hand outstretched to the doorknob. “I don’t know what to think anymore. I don’t know if you really want me or if you just want me because I’m unattainable now. I’d like to think it’s because you want me. But…maybe…someday, maybe this can be more. I just need some time.”

Slowly nodding, Spike glanced over his shoulder, giving her an understanding smile. “Not gettin’ any older, luv.”


Chapter 24 – Loyalty in Death


3 Months Later


“Hey, Wills,” Buffy said with a bright smile when she heard her surrogate mother on the phone. “You just left here a few days ago- did you miss me already?”

Now that her entire family knew where she was, Buffy had not lacked for visitors. Her apartment was rarely empty for a solid week- once she apologized profusely to everyone she’d left behind in Sunnydale. Cordy had been the first to visit, spending a week with her after Angel left town, taking Buffy on numerous shopping sprees and spoiling her ‘daughter’. Xander and Anya passed through on their vacation, stopping for a night. Dawn e-mailed her everyday, and Giles had made sure to call at least twice a week, after visiting to check up on her. That left Tara to stay with her, leaving after a week, only to have Willow to visit when she got a week off work. Everyone she loved made an effort to reach out to her.

Except one.

Spike hadn’t been back to visit, which was more than a little disappointing, but that didn’t stop him from calling and checking on her at least three times a week. More often than not, he called every day. After taking a little time away from him, Buffy was excited to take a trip home in a few weeks.

“There’s a reason I’m calling, Buffy,” Willow said softly after a moment. “Have you talked to Spike?”

“Not for a few days,” she replied, feeling the knot that was forming in the pit of her stomach double in size when she realized that Spike had never gone more than two days without calling to check on her. “Why? Has something happened? Is Spike okay?” she asked, her voice taking on a frantic quality.

“Not to him…but, Buffy…I think you should come home.”

“I’ll be there in two weeks. Do I really need to come earlier?” she asked with trepidation, wishing that Willow would just tell her what was wrong.

“I think it would be for the best,” Willow said, holding Tara’s hand as they sat in the living room of their house, making the call that needed to be made.

“What’s wrong, Willow?”

“I just think…”

“Don’t shelter me, Wills. Tell me what’s going on!”

“Buffy…Aubrey was killed,” she replied in a choked whisper, clutching at Tara’s hand.

“Oh my God,” Buffy muttered, grabbing the arm of a nearby chair as she sat down, focusing on inhaling and exhaling sharply. Staying quiet for a long minute, she tried to wrap her mind around what she had just been told. “How?”

“Vampire,” Willow said in a soft whisper.

“Just one?” she asked in disbelief.

“Yeah,” Willow replied. “It was just…it was bad luck.”

“When did it happen?” she asked, feeling a little lightheaded that someone she’d known was gone.

“Two nights ago.”

Staying silent for a moment, Buffy shook her head, making herself snap out of the shock that was seeping into her. “How’s Spike?” she murmured.

“He’s…he’s okay. He’s in the basement right now…I think he’s still in a little bit of shock.”

“Can I talk to him?”

“Hold on a minute.”

Nervously standing up and pacing around the apartment, Buffy ran her hand through her hair, trying to figure out what to do first while she waited for Spike to pick up the phone.

‘Pack,’ she thought, biting her lip. ‘Get packed and get to the bus station. At the very least, you’ll be able to make it to Los Angeles by tomorrow morning, even if there’s not a direct ticket to Sunnydale. Someone can get me there or pick me up.’

“Hello.”

The sound of his gravelly voice on the other end of the line nearly had Buffy running out the door to be with him as fast as she could.

“Hey,” she said softly, feeling a smile pull at her lips, even through the distressing circumstances. This was still Spike. Still the man she had given her adolescent heart to, and he was still able to comfort her by just hearing his voice. Wishing that she could reach through the phone and offer him the same amount of comfort that he was giving her, she knew that no words would allow him that. “I’m sorry,” she whispered after a moment of silence.

“Not your fault,” he murmured. Buffy could almost picture his head leaning back against the wall as he let his eyes close. “It’s mine.”

“Spike, don’t say that. Don’t even think it.”

“Why not?” he asked with an edge to his voice. “It’s true. If I had been faster or stronger…she would still be here.”

“You couldn’t have known. It’s not like you stood back and let it happen.”

“No, but if I’d staked the one I was fighting, she might still…”

“You can’t think of all the ‘what ifs’. You’ll drive yourself crazy if you do.”

“Yeah?” Spike replied skeptically. Buffy could hear the cot that he must have been sitting on squeak as he sat up. “And what about the one that keeps running through my head? What if it had been you?”

“Spike…”

“What if you had been here, Buffy?” he asked in a choked voice, losing what little control he was holding on to. “What if I wasn’t fast enough to protect you? What if it happens in the future? I couldn’t forgive myself if I lost you.”

“It wasn’t me,” she whispered in a soothing voice. “I’m fine. I’m here…right here. And you’re not going to lose me.”

“I need you, luv,” he said softly, obviously taking a deep breath to control his emotions. “Come home.”

“I’ll be there as soon as I can,” she murmured. “I promise.”

* * * * *

Calling Willow from the bus station the next morning, Buffy was exhausted. She had managed to get a ticket directly into Sunnydale, but between having to wait in the bus station and the long trip, she was craving a hot shower and soft bed.

Letting a sad smile play on her lips when she saw the car pull up to the curb, she eagerly jogged toward it, wrapping Willow and Tara in a hug and clinging to them. She never let it set in how much she missed her family until she was with them again. Willow hadn’t been able to make the trip to Vegas when Tara had been there a few weeks before, and Buffy was relieved to see both women together.

“Are you okay?” she asked, pulling back to look at the women who had raised her, studying their sad expressions. She had barely known Aubrey, only seeing her as a rival for Spike’s affections, but Willow and Tara had been living with her for a year and a half.

“As good as can be expected,” Willow said, trying to give her a smile as they walked toward the car.

“How’s Spike?”

“He’s…we’re not really sure,” Tara said as they climbed into the car. “He left last night after the two of you hung up. We think he went back to the crypt, but…”

“He wasn’t real forthcoming with the destination,” Willow added as Buffy stared out the window, looking at the town she hadn’t seen in over a year. The place that would always be a home to her.

“He’s at his crypt,” she murmured without a shadow of doubt in her voice, watching the trees fly by as they drove through the town. “Take me to him.”

Chapter 25 – When Things Go Wrong


Walking into the crypt, Buffy could immediately feel Spike’s presence radiating around her. His signature was practically burned into her. So familiar that she would be able to tell if he was the vampire who was close to her, before she would be able to tell if it was her own father.

Slowly making her way to the ladder, she descended to the lower level, turning around when her feet made contact with the ground.

Tilting her head to study Spike, she frowned, wondering if he even knew she was there.

Sitting on his bed, wearing nothing but a pair of black jeans with the sheets tangled around his body, Buffy took in his appearance. The sculpted muscles of his chest, one leg propped up at an angle as his elbow rested on his knee, staring at the burning cigarette he was holding, but never actually bringing it to his lips. She watched his unfocused eyes as he ran his hand through his hair, sending it into even more disarray.

“Do you want me to go?” she finally asked when he still didn’t acknowledge her presence.

“No,” he said, shaking his head, his eyes never making contact with hers.

Gingerly sitting on the edge of the bed, she reached out to take his hand in hers, surprised when he pulled away from her.

“Spike…”

“Don’t touch me, Buffy. You shouldn’t have come.”

“What?” she asked in disbelief. “I just …you were the one who asked me here.”

“You’ll just get hurt,” he whispered, shaking his head. “Anyone I get close to dies.”

“That’s not true,” she said, shaking her head. “It’s happened twice, Spike. Two Slayers. And you know why? Because they’re Slayers! It’s their destiny, and you know that. Nothing has happened to Willow or Tara or anyone else you care about.”

“It shouldn’t have been her…should have been me,” he mumbled, looking down with watery eyes.

“Were you in love with her, Spike?” Buffy asked, watching as he raised his eyes to hers.

“You know I wasn’t…just wish that…”

“Stop blaming yourself!” she said in exasperation.

“You think you know what’s going on?” he asked, finally looking over at her. Seeing the yellow sparks flashing in his eyes, Buffy prepared for the explosion that she knew was coming. He’d have to let it out eventually, and she could see the anger and confusion in his eyes that needed an outlet. “You don’t have a clue about anything around here. You’ve been off living it up, and you don’t give a damn about what happens here. You don’t even know me!” he yelled in frustration, jumping up from the bed and throwing the cigarette onto the floor. “Not anymore.”

“Yes, I do,” Buffy countered in a dangerous tone as she stood up and took a step toward him. “Your favorite color is black. You like playing pool. Your favorite things to eat are those onion blossom thingies and spicy buffalo wings. You like the Ramones and the Sex Pistols. You prefer staying in the shadows and watching rather than actually risk getting out there and living. It doesn’t matter how long I’ll live- you’ll always think of me as a kid or as Angel’s daughter. And no matter what you say or what you think that you want or wanted from me, you’re scared to death of taking a chance on someone who wanted to take a chance with you.” Taking a challenging step closer to him, Buffy crossed her arms over her chest, masking the hurt that welled up as all of the old feelings poured out. “Am I close?” she asked in a low voice.

Clenching his jaw as he looked down at her, Spike narrowed his eyes. “And you think you’re any better?” he growled. “A girl who finally gets what she wants and throws it back because it’s not on her terms? A girl who’s too scared to actually admit what she’s feeling, when the opportunity presents itself?”

“I’m not doing this,” Buffy said, turning around and walking toward the ladder. “I’m not going to rehash past mistakes until we both feel worse about ourselves. Maybe you’re right. Maybe I shouldn’t have come.”

Climbing up the first few steps of the ladder, Buffy gasped when she felt his strong arms wrap around her waist and pull her back to the ground. His arms still tightly banded around her, Spike carried her over to the bed. Sitting down and depositing her on his lap as he clung to her with his full strength, Buffy could feel the tension in his arms. Hearing his whispered apology, she didn’t dare to move, even as her body protested his strength that was threatening to crack some of her ribs. Not wanting to risk pulling away from him, she took a deep breath when she felt his quiet sobs shaking his body.

Clinging to Buffy, Spike felt the tears rolling down his cheeks. He hated himself for showing this weakness. And he hated himself even more for the fact that he wasn’t crying entirely for Aubrey’s death. He was crying for the simple fact that she was here…she was in his arms, and he’d missed her more than he’d cared to admit.

Loosening his hold after several long moments, Buffy breathed a little easier as she turned in his arms, cradling his head to her chest while he continued to let the tears spill over. Feeling her hands running through his hair, Spike slowly pulled away, looking up into her eyes.

Seeing her soft smile when her fingertips ran over his cheeks, brushing away the remaining tears, Spike didn’t let himself think as he gently tugged her downward until her lips met his in a tender kiss.

Buffy felt like she was drowning from the simple caress of his lips against hers. “Spike,” she murmured against him, feeling her breath catch in her throat when he flipped her over, easily pinning her in place between his body and the mattress.

Her stomach clenched in anticipation as his hands wandered along her body, barely caressing her curves and leaving her aching for more. Buffy trembled when he slowly broke away from her, trailing kisses along her neck until she was practically arching beneath him, craving what he was offering.

Wrapping his arm around her body, Spike pulled her more securely to him, grinding his growing erection against her as he kissed her again.

“I need you,” he whispered against her lips.

Buffy’s eyes flew open when she realized what was happening. “No,” she said softly, pushing herself away from him, trying to disentangle herself from his strong hold.

“I need you, so much,” he said softly, pulling her closer to him as he ignored her mild protest.

“We’re not doing this, Spike.”

“What?” he asked in confusion, pulling back to look at her.

“I’m not going to be your substitute for her.”

“Buffy-”

“I can be there for you as a friend, but that’s all. There’s nothing else. I’ve moved on,” she said unconvincingly. “I’m not going to jump when you say how high just because I happen to be second best and I might be a woman who’s sharing your bed tonight.”

“But I want to be with you.”

“Since when?” she asked in disbelief, pushing him away and climbing to her feet. “The only time you ever wanted me was when I was there to scratch an itch.”

“That’s not true,” he growled.

“Isn’t it? Everything you’ve tried to drill into my head is because ‘you’re too young’ or because ‘you’re Angel’s daughter’, so what makes today any different?”

“I made a mistake.”

“You’ve made a mistake?” she replied sarcastically. “I’m shocked. And when did you realize this?” she asked, crossing her arms over her chest as she looked at him.

“The minute I realized that you were gone. The very second that I thought I’d lost you forever. Buffy, I lo-”

“Don’t!” she cried, holding up her hand in warning, feeling panic rise within her as she tried to stop the lies from coming from his lips. “Don’t say it.”

Practically running for the ladder, Buffy stopped and took a breath when she realized what she was doing. Slowly turning to face him again, she tried to keep her chin from trembling as her emotions seemed to weigh her down. She wouldn’t do this. She wouldn’t be the one to run away…not again. She might need to get away from him before something happened that they both might regret, but she refused to run.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I shouldn’t have let it get that far and…I’ll see you later tonight. I’m…I’m sorry.”

Watching with pain-filled eyes as she climbed the ladder, Spike felt the tears burn his eyes when he heard the slam of the crypt door closing behind her. Slowly taking an unneeded breath to get his emotions under control, he blinked the tears away. “Me, too.”

Chapter 26 – A Night of Questions


Watching as the coffin was lowered into the ground, Buffy stood next to Spike, holding his hand as the service came to an end. She had been by his side since it began, giving her silent support when he needed it.

It was decided that the funeral would be at night so Spike could attend. Willow and Tara had cast a protection spell around the rest of the Scoobies in case any vamps tried to take them by surprise.

Never letting go of her hand as Buffy turned and said a quiet goodbye to her friends, Spike continued to stare straight ahead, not really seeing anything as his thoughts drifted.

‘She loved me,’ he thought to himself, remembering Aubrey. He hated that the thought of that love didn’t cause any type of reaction. No hope, no despair, just a void of nothing. ‘She told me that…on more than one occasion, but I just couldn’t reciprocate…not like she wanted. Not in any way. I couldn’t willingly use her and end up hurting her. But I also hated to hurt her unknowingly. I should have handled it better…I’ve been on the receiving end of the situation, I should have…’

What would have been worse? Having to live with an unrequited love? Or getting what you wanted, but never actually having it?

His relationship with her had been merely a shadow of what he had with the other blonde in his life. He didn’t try and delude himself into thinking that he wanted to be with Aubrey. She was simply a poor reflection of the woman he loved now, and that was another reason why he couldn’t just use her.

It was too late now. He had made the right decision- he was certain of that fact. She had been his partner for over a year, and he didn’t regret not taking her up on any offers. But why the hell did it always work out this way? Was he destined to fall in love with those who didn’t want him and gain the love of the ones he didn’t want?

It was a never-ending cycle.

Spike’s thoughts were chaotic as he thought of the differences in this Slayer and the one he had once loved. Aubrey was willing to love him and let him love her, even though he would never feel the same about her. Something that Lucy would have never allowed. She had made it known, repeatedly, that Angel was her one true love and Spike would never have a chance. That he would always fall short of being whatever she needed him to be, because he wasn’t his grandsire.

And now, here he was with Angel’s daughter.

‘No wonder she thinks I’m just using her.’

Glancing over at Buffy, Spike was suddenly aware that they were alone. Gently squeezing her hand in a silent thank you for staying and letting him take his time getting through his emotions, he felt his heart tighten when she turned to look at him, offering him a soft smile. Continuing to stare at her, he felt mesmerized as he looked at the moonlight shimmering over her hair. Her expressive eyes, showing the pain that she was feeling, reflected from him, wishing that she could take his pain away.

How did he get here? How did it come to this?

A year ago, Buffy would have given him anything.

Spike knew it.

There wasn’t a question in his mind of that fact. But now…now, she had changed. She wasn’t the same girl that she had been a year ago. What Spike wouldn’t give to have that girl back.

Especially now that he wanted her more than he’d ever wanted anyone in his life.

“Want to sit down?” he quietly asked after a moment, pulling her closer to his side and leaving a lingering kiss on her forehead.

“Yeah,” she murmured, slowly pulling away and tugging on his hand as she guided him a few yards away from the fresh grave.

Sitting down and leaning against a nearby tree, Spike pulled Buffy onto his lap, banding his arms around her waist as he breathed in the lavender scent of her hair.

“I did miss you,” he whispered, closing his eyes when he felt her relax against him.

“I know,” she said softly, letting her head rest against his shoulder. “I missed you, too.”

Sitting in comfortable silence for several long minutes, Spike let his eyes close in exhaustion and relaxation when he felt her gentle touch against his skin. His hand was resting on her thigh, and he smiled when her hand began to gently caress his own, idly brushing her fingertips over the exposed skin.

“What happens now?” he asked after a moment, almost scared to break the tranquility between them.

Pausing in her movements for a brief moment, Buffy soon resumed what she was doing as she looked around and breathed a heavy sigh. “I don’t know,” she murmured.

“But you’re not staying,” he said, trying to keep the accusation out of his voice as he turned his eyes away when she glanced back to look at him.

“I don’t live here anymore,” she said gently, trying to make him understand. “I have another home.”

“Without me,” he muttered.

“What do you want me to say, Spike?” she asked, pulling away from him so she could turn and look him in the eyes. “That I’m going to move back here and you can resume the role of ‘protector’? I don’t need one.”

“What if something happens to you?” he asked, grabbing her wrists when she tried to pull away and jerking her back toward him, ignoring her feeble attempts to put distance between the two of them and inadvertently causing her to straddle his lap. “What if you need a protector?”

“I don’t,” she whispered, relaxing her body until his grip loosened. “But I do need a friend. I’ll always need you as a friend, Spike.”

“Don’t want to be your friend, Buffy.”

“But I need you,” she murmured, looking at him with wide eyes, hoping he would see the truth behind that statement.

Seeing the need in her eyes, he tried to give her a smile as he nodded. “You’ll always have me.”

Visibly relaxing, she gave him a soft smile as she played with his leather duster. “Could have its advantages.”

“What’s that, pet?” he asked, raising an eyebrow when she moved her body closer to his.

“Certain…benefits,” she whispered, gently brushing her lips against his before pulling away to study his reaction.

“Weren’t you the one who ran out of my crypt earlier this morning, virtue fluttering?”

“Yeah,” she murmured, briefly casting her eyes downward. “But that was about something different.”

“That right? And what would the difference be?”

“This isn’t about me being a replacement-”

“Buffy-”

“This is about,” she continued, cutting him off as her hands ran along his shoulders. “The two of us having something that’s familiar.”

“And what does it entail?” he asked, tilting his head to study her, trying to suppress his body’s reaction to her hands running across the leather of his duster.

“Us,” she whispered, stopping her movements and looking him in the eyes. “Us…being there for each other. Being friends. Not much more,” she continued, brushing her lips against his again, pulling away before he could deepen the kiss and turn it into something it wasn’t. “But ‘friends’ can be a comforting thing.”

“And if I want something more?” Tilting his head to study her as Buffy stared at him, Spike sighed before nodding. “Right. So, I get to act like a teenager and chase you around, stealing kisses whenever I get a chance?”

“Play your cards right,” she said with a smirk that Spike returned.

“Just what I’ve always wanted,” he said with a playful roll of his eyes, smiling when she giggled.

Chapter 27 – Talking It Out


“Hey.”

Pushing away from the tombstone to turn around at the sound of the soft voice, Spike offered the young woman a slight smile. “What are you doing out here, luv?”

“Couldn’t sleep,” Buffy said with a shrug, hugging her arms around her body as she approached him. “I was beginning to think it was your turn to leave town.”

Looking up at the moonlit sky, Spike took a long drag of his cigarette before heaving a deep sigh, watching as the smoke twisted and swirled in the night air before disappearing. Crushing the rest of the cigarette under his heel, he took a deep breath. “Thought about it,” he muttered, avoiding her eyes. Staring straight ahead for a long moment, the tension was too much as he slowly turned to face her. Seeing the distraught look on her face, he narrowed his eyes on her. “Something wrong?”

“No,” she said quickly, shaking her head as she took a deep breath.

“What is it, Buffy?”

“What do you want me to say?” she asked, her voice sounding strained as she wrapped her arms more tightly around herself. “You want me to get a taste of my own medicine? Well, congratulations…it worked.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You obviously want to hurt me…just when I come back into town, you decide it’s time to take off? Or avoid me. Either way…it’s nearly been a week and every time I stop by your crypt, you’re nowhere in sight.”

“Just felt like bein’ alone, pet.”

Staying quiet for a moment as she stood next to him, Buffy closed her eyes, taking deep breaths to try and soothe her nerves, waiting and wishing for him to continue. When he didn’t say anything after a moment, her lips parted in despair as she slowly looked at the ground, battling the tears that were stinging her eyes. “Sorry to bother you,” she whispered, her stomach churning as she turned to walk away.

Swallowing the gasp of surprise when his hand grabbed her arm, Buffy slowly turned to look up at him, seeing his brows furrow in confusion when he saw her watery eyes.

Closing the distance between them, Spike took comfort in the feel of her body comfortably resting against his as his hand tenderly cupped her cheek. Letting his thumb brush along her cheekbone, he relaxed as he watched her close her eyes, leaning into his touch.

“But I don’t want to be alone now,” he whispered, lowering his head until his forehead was touching hers.

“Did you ever love her?”

The soft question stunned them both as they each pulled back to look at the other. “No,” he whispered, shaking his head to confirm his answer. “I never did. Nothing ever happened between us, Buffy…it was always about you.”

“Is that good or bad?” she asked with a slight smile.

“Depends on the timeline,” he answered with a grin. “Right now,” he continued, pulling her a little closer to him. “It’s looking pretty good.” Pausing for a long moment, he took a deep breath as he looked at her. “What about you?”

“What about me?” she repeated.

“Was there anyone…”

“I told you…you’re the only one I’ve ever been with,” she said softly. “That hasn’t changed.”

“So there were no feelings for anyone else?” he asked, hating his insecurities for coming forth as he avoided her eyes.

“No,” she whispered, shaking her head. “I had a few friends, but it was completely feeling-free…on all counts,” she added with a smile.

“Not on all counts,” he muttered.

“What?” she asked, her smile fading as she looked at him in confusion.

“What about your little vampire friend? Got pretty close to him, didn’t you?”

“Spike,” she whispered, shaking her head when she saw his hardened gaze directed at her. “Don’t do this.”

“Don’t do what?” he asked calmly, feeling the suppressed jealousy rising up inside of him. “Don’t point out how stupid you were by going to the hazards of the underworld and giving a vampire a tap to some hot-running blood?”

Taking a step away from him, Buffy crossed her arms over her chest as she stared at him. “And who caused it?” she asked calmly, feeling her emotions reeling out of control. “Who was the first one to bite me? Who sent me craving that feeling of needing the darkness?” she continued, her voice rising as she gestured to his crypt. “Who was the one who fucked me against the wall of that crypt and then tossed me aside like it didn’t mean anything?!” she yelled, feeling her heart racing as all of the old feelings came back. The adoration, the love, the pain, the fear…

The encompassing agony.

Realizing what she’d just said when she saw the look in his eyes, Buffy ran her hands through her hair, fisting in it as if it would relieve the stress she was going through. They were doing it again. The cycle was starting all over again, and she felt powerless to stop it.

“Damn it!” she screamed, spinning around with a vicious kick and successfully snapping a headstone in half, sending it flying through the cemetery to land with a soft ‘thump’ in the grass.

Watching her in confusion, trying to pull himself together from what she’d just said, Spike tried not to think about what he had put her through.

Turning to face him with pain in her eyes, she took a deep breath, trying to control herself. “Out with it.”

“With what?” he asked softly.

“Let’s just get it all out in the open. What the hell is going on, Spike? I want the truth. I want the truth about everything- you, me…everything.”

“The truth,” he repeated, taking a deep breath. “What do you want to hear, Buffy? That you’ve meant everything to me for so long, I don’t know how I can go on without you?”

“Is it obligation?” she asked softly, trying to keep the accusation out of her tone.

“No,” he replied, shaking his head. “Not to your father, not to you. Just the simple fact that you’re my world.”

Letting go of some of her frustration, Buffy smiled, relieved that they were finally talking. “Simple fact, huh?”

“That’s about right,” he said with an answering smile.

Looking down at the ground for a moment, Buffy took a deep breath, trying to get the nerve to ask the one question she’d wanted to ask for so long. “And Lucy?”

“Is dead,” he said calmly, barely showing any emotion as he said the words. “Has been for nearly two decades.”

“I know you, Spike,” she whispered. “When you love someone, you don’t let go.”

“No,” he murmured, closing the distance between them and tenderly cupping her cheek in his hand. “I don’t.”

Hearing her heart begin to race, he smiled as he tenderly leaned in to brush his lips against hers in a soft kiss before pulling away to press his forehead to hers.

“What else do you want to know?” he asked quietly. “That I’ve wanted you for so long, I don’t remember when there was a time that I didn’t?”

“I’m hoping you can remember a time, considering you’ve known me since…forever,” she replied with a grin, pulling away from him to look in his eyes. “That would be a major ick factor.”

“Point taken,” Spike said with a smile.

Seeing her smile fade as she glanced down at the ground, he tilted his head to study her.

“And Angel?” she whispered.

“Angel asked me to protect you,” he said softly. “But if there wasn’t something there between us, I would have left the protection to Red and Glenda and gone away, whenever I felt like it.”

“What made you stay?” she asked, feeling her breath catch in her throat.

“You know what made me stay,” he whispered, trailing his hand along her arm until he took her hand in his, interlacing their fingers.

“You loved me,” she whispered, remembering him telling her that on numerous occasions. Remembering that her young heart always wished for more. “What makes you stay, now?”

Staring into her eyes for a long moment, Spike gave her a tender smile. “You,” he whispered. “It always comes back to you. I wanted everything for us…I wanted you to be older…to be able to understand what was happening between us…”

“Am I old enough now?” she asked with a slight smile.

“You tell me,” he replied in a soft voice.

“How do you feel about me, Spike?” she whispered. “Really feel about me?”

“You’re not ready to know,” he whispered, giving her a smile when she looked up at him with wide eyes.

Thinking about what he said for a moment, Buffy finally nodded. “Maybe you’re right.”

Cupping her face in his hands, he tenderly kissed her forehead, feeling his heart swell when she clung to his arms, afraid to let him go.

“When you’re ready…I’ll tell you.”

“Fair enough,” she murmured. “What happens now?”

“Thinking it’s time for me to take advantage of that offer you made me,” he replied.

Before Buffy could respond, she gasped when his lips covered hers in a passionate kiss. Clinging to his arms, she felt a thrill rush through her when his hands clutched at her waist, pulling her more forcefully to him as his tongue brushed against hers.

Swallowing her moan of pleasure, Spike didn’t make any move to push her further, wanting her to familiarize herself with just being with him without any sexual pressure. Moving his lips over hers for a long minute, Spike slowly broke the kiss, pulling away to see her wide eyes.

Smiling at the unfamiliar look, he tilted his head to look at her, taking comfort in the fact that she looked like the girl he once knew. The innocent expression on her face reminded him of easier times.

“Guess that was more undertones than overtones,” she said with a smile, giggling when he looked at her in confusion. “I just mean there was no pressure…thank you.”

“Never wanted you to feel pressured,” he said softly, his eyes becoming worried as he looked at her.

“I know,” she murmured. “And I didn’t. The first time was just…rushed.”

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “Wanted to give you a night you deserved, not…”

“Hey,” she said softly, reaching up to brush her fingertips over his cheek when he avoided her gaze. Waiting until he made eye contact with her again before continuing, “It was just surprising…and a little brutal. Perfect for us,” she finished with a grin, seeing a smile pull at the corners of his lips as he looked downward. “I don’t regret it.”

Raising his eyes to hers once again, he felt relief when he saw the truth behind her statement before focusing on what she’d said. “Us?”

Opening her mouth to respond, Buffy took a deep breath when she heard the soft ring of his cell phone. “Wonder who that is,” she said, rolling her eyes. “Only one person I know has such perfect timing.”

Reaching into his pocket, he flipped open the phone. “What?”

Listening to the one-sided conversation, Buffy smiled as she watched Spike talk to her father.

“Yes, she’s here…no, she’s fine…not sure, said she was staying for a little while…no, I don’t know why- wanted to see her family and friends, I s’pose…of course she’s not with me- you do have clocks in L.A., don’t you, Peaches? It’s three in the morning…don’t worry, your little princess is all tucked away, safe and sound in her beddy-bye,” he said, slipping a hand beneath the hem of Buffy’s shirt and letting his fingertips run along the flat muscles of her stomach, never letting them travel any higher, simply relishing the fact that she was with him- reassuring himself that she was actually there. “Well, if you don’t believe me, I could always go check on her. It’s kind of late, though…may have to stay over there.”

Hearing Angel yelling through the phone, Buffy had to bite her lip to keep from laughing.

“Only joking, you git, relax…she’s fine…uh, yeah…yeah, she’s mentioned you and Cordelia…no, I don’t think she’s seeing anyone…well, she hasn’t mentioned it…no worries, you’re still the number one man in her life…yeah…alright.”

Flipping the phone closed, he looked at Buffy, seeing her nervous expression.

“What’s wrong?”

“He’s starting to suspect something?”

“It’s Angel, pet. He’d have to walk in on us together before he put two and two together and came up with a moderately correct number.”

Shaking her head as she smiled, Buffy sighed. “I guess I better go,” she murmured.

“I can walk you.”

“No,” she said, shaking her head. “It’s okay. I kind of feel like walking alone.”

“This is the Hellmouth, Buffy.”

“And I grew up on it, Spike,” she reminded him with a smile. “I’m ten minutes away- I’ll be fine.”

“If you’re sure…”

Stepping forward and pressing her lips to his in a tender kiss, she pulled back after a moment that was too short for either of them. “I’m sure…but thanks.”

Walking away, Buffy barely made it a few feet before she was turning to face him again. “And Spike…Angel’s important to me,” she said, seeing him nod in understanding. “But he’s never been the number one man in my life.”
 

Chapter 28 – Running Scared


Biting her lip as she walked into Spike’s crypt a few days later, Buffy resisted the urge to wring her hands together, wanting to do what she could to maintain a level of calmness about the upcoming conversation. An inevitable conversation that she didn’t want to have.

“Evenin’, pet,” Spike said from the shadows, causing Buffy to jump as she spun around to face him.

Seeing the carefully arched brow and confused expression as he shut the door of the refrigerator, she felt like smacking herself for her strange case of nerves.

“Hi,” she said with a soft smile, feeling a thrill rush through her when he slowly stalked toward her. Coming to a stop in front of her, his expressive eyes seemed to search her face, looking for an answer to a question that hadn’t been asked. He could feel the heat radiating from her body and her pulse was jumping to a nervous beat beneath her skin.

“Out with it.”

“Wh-what?”

“You heard me,” Spike said, taking a step away from her and grabbing a bottle of tequila before turning his attention back to the small blonde.

“What makes you think I came here to…out something?”

Giving her a patented ‘Spike look’, he watched as Buffy’s eyes darted around the interior of the crypt before settling back on him. The nerves were practically radiating off of her.

“You’re right,” she said with a soft smile, trying to force herself to relax. This was Spike. No matter what she told him, he would never hurt her…physically. It was silly for her to be scared of him…she hoped.

“I’m leaving,” she whispered, nearly squeezing her eyes shut as she waited for the explosion.

The words were spoken so softly that after a moment, Buffy was beginning to wonder if he had actually heard her. Feeling her stomach clench when she noticed the flashes of yellow that were trying to make themselves known in his sapphire gaze, she resisted the urge to step away from him when he slowly looked away. Refusing to be intimidated by a man she trusted…even if the demon was lurking closer to the surface than she was used to, Buffy stood her ground.

Carefully setting down the glass bottle before he hurled it to shatter against the wall, Spike didn’t raise his eyes to hers. Unable to see his eyes anymore, the only indication that he had even heard her softly spoken words was the fact that his jaw tensed, tightening his neck and letting her know just what his rigid posture meant. It was his universal symbol of frustration.

“’S’that right?” he finally asked, not looking up at her.

“You knew I would be,” she whispered, gently touching her hand to his forearm and shrinking back when he angrily slapped it away, leaving a stinging sensation in her hand to match the burning in her eyes. Swallowing the lump in her throat as she took a step back, Buffy angrily blinked back the tears in her eyes. “If that’s the way you want to say goodbye…”

Trailing off as she walked toward the door, Buffy paused when she heard his soft-spoken voice behind her.

“Are you coming back?”

“I don’t think I’m really wanted here,” she murmured, not bothering to turn around and face him again.

“Why’s that?”

Pulling open the door, Buffy’s lips set in a firm line as she turned around to look at him, not bothering to give him a verbal answer as the pain in her hand began to subside, leaving it tinged pink from the slap she’d just received.

“I thought things were going to be different after the other night…I thought I could talk to you. And the moment that I tell you about a decision I’ve made, you react like…this,” she finished, gesturing toward him. “I thought things had changed,” she whispered in a choked voice, never looking away from him.

Seeing the vulnerability and anger swirling in her eyes, Spike had to fight the sudden arousal that threatened to overwhelm him as he stared at the fighter emerging from the woman he loved.

“And if I don’t want you to go?”

“I’m leaving, Spike,” she whispered in a tone that allowed no argument. “I’m sorry.”

“Where are you going?” he asked before she could turn and walk out the door. Out of his life.

“Los Angeles,” she said softly. “I figured I might as well visit my dad for a week before heading home.”

Hearing the word ‘home’, Spike felt rage begin to race through him.

And something inside of him snapped.

Gasping when she found herself pinned to a nearby wall, Buffy’s eyes widened when she saw the yellow gaze of Spike’s demon staring at her.

“Don’t,” she whispered, shaking her head as she tried to raise her shoulders and offer her neck some coverage from the bloodlust that was raging in his eyes.

Pinning her in place with one had wrapped around her throat, the other twined threw her hair, jerking her head to the side and further exposing the sensitive flesh.

“Spike,” she whispered, half in plea and half in protest as he lowered his head to inhale her scent. Clinging to the soft t-shirt that was molded to his body, she fought against the desire that rushed through her when she felt his tongue brush along her shoulder. Shivering when it ran up the line of her neck, Buffy gasped as he settled over his previous mark.

Sucking the tender flesh into his mouth, Spike could feel her trembling against him.

Memories assaulted both of them as they stood in the same place that Spike had taken her virginity over a year ago.

The demon screamed for a repeat performance of that night. To take her- make her his, once and for all.

Fighting everything in her body, she kept her feet firmly planted on the floor, wanting nothing more than to jump up and wrap her legs around his waist, letting him take care of the ache that was rapidly making itself known between her thighs.

Moving away from her before his teeth penetrated her skin, the demon stayed on the surface as he tilted his head to look at her.

“I need to go,” she whispered, silently willing her hands to let go of his shirt and push him away, needing to walk through that door and put some distance between herself and this place.

Gasping in surprise when she felt his mouth crushed against hers with surprising force, Buffy clutched at his shoulders as her lips and tongue were savaged by the demon inside of him.

Tasting the blood that was slipping from the small scratches that his fangs were making on the inside of her bottom lip, Spike nearly snarled with the need to fully taste her again.

Grasping her shoulders and pushing her into the wall, Buffy felt a mild sense of panic fill her when she saw him pull away with the intent clear in his eyes.

Cringing as she waited for his fangs to sink into her throat, her entire body tensed in preparation.

Feeling the pliable, willing body in his arms turn rigid in anticipation as the scent of fear hung in the air, Spike battled his demon for dominance, barely able to control himself from plunging his fangs into her neck.

‘No,’ he thought, shaking his head to clear it. ‘You’re not doing this to her again. Next time will be because she wants it and not because you can’t control yourself. You’re not going to make her afraid of you.’

Sensing the change in his mood, Buffy slowly turned to face him with apprehension in her eyes. Seeing the yellow eyes melt away to reveal his comforting blue gaze, she let her shoulders sag in relief.

Running his fingertips over the scar that still resided on her neck, the scar that he’d put there three months ago, he watched as she briefly closed her eyes. Feeling the relief that passed through her, he waited until she reopened her eyes, looking directly at him.

“I’m coming with you.”

“You’re what?” she asked in disbelief.

“Coming with you,” he repeated with a shrug. “It’s about time I had a vacation.”

“Visiting my father is your idea of a vacation?”

“No,” he said, shaking his head and taking a step toward and tenderly running his fingertips along her cheek. “But I’m not passing up an opportunity to spend time with you. Not letting you leave me again, Goldilocks.”
 29

Chapter 29 – Unhappy Homecoming


“You know this isn’t going to be a happy homecoming, right?” Buffy asked, biting her lip as she stared at the imposing hotel, taking strength from the man standing beside her.

“Could be worse,” Spike replied, tilting his head toward her as he continued to stare at the building, half-expecting something to jump out at him while he stared at it with trepidation.

“How?” she asked, finally turning to look at him.

“I don’t know,” he said with a shrug, glancing over at her with a smile. “Isn’t that what people say in these situations?”

Giggling softly, Buffy swatted his shoulder, silently grateful that he had broken the tension that seemed to be between them since they left Sunnydale.

It hadn’t been an easy job, convincing Buffy that he make the trip to L.A., and now that they were finally here, he wanted nothing more than to take her to a remote hotel and not have to worry about facing the magnificent poof. Standing in front of the Hyperion, Spike stifled the urge to light a cigarette, closing his eyes and refusing to think of the calming effect the nicotine could have on him.

“Come on,” Buffy said with a heavy sigh, dreading what was beyond those doors when she walked in with the man Angel trusted and hated. Grabbing the sleeve of his duster and pulling him toward the main doors, she could feel Spike’s resistance as she walked toward the door. “Let’s get this over with.”

“Wonderful,” Spike muttered sarcastically.

“Hey,” she said, turning around with an indignant expression on her face, bordering on anger as her eyes narrowed. “You were the one who wanted to come with me! Don’t act all put out by the unsurprising turn of events that I wanted to see my father…he was the reason I made the trip in the first place, and if you don’t like it, you know how to get home-”

“Easy, luv,” he murmured, firmly gripping her shoulders and letting his hands gently massage them. “Just not that excited about seeing him, is all. Has nothing to do with you. I tagged along on this excursion because of you…and that’s why I’m staying.”

Feeling a blush creep into her cheeks, Buffy slowly pulled away from him and nodded, unsure of what he was actually hoping to get out of the situation.

“What do you want from me, Spike?” she whispered after a moment, looking up at him in confusion and innocence.

The world seemed to melt away as Spike got lost in her gaze. He couldn’t hear the cars whizzing by or the horns honking. All he saw was the expression that was so familiar and unfamiliar to him at the same time. This was the girl he remembered. The one who had turned his entire world upside down from the moment she’d entered it and continued to do so on a regular basis.

Resisting the urge to reach out and caress her cheek, Spike shoved his hands in his pockets. “Nothing you’re not willing to give,” he said softly, not wanting her to feel pressured.

“That’s not a lot,” she whispered. “Not yet.”

Offering her a tentative smile, he nodded. “I can live with that.”

With a heavy sigh, Buffy turned back to the hotel. “Let’s go.”

Smiling when Spike took her bag for her, she slowly walked toward the door, practically holding her breath as she opened it. Entering the Hyperion, she exhaled softly, looking around the unfamiliar interior that had such a strange familiarity to it. “Hello?”

“Buffy?”

Turning toward the voice, she smiled when she saw Cordelia behind the counter with a stunned expression that soon turned into a bright smile. Eagerly hurrying around the counter, she practically ran toward Buffy.

“What are you doing here?” Cordy asked, enveloping the younger woman in a warm hug.

“Just needed a change of pace, I guess,” Buffy replied. “I missed everyone.”

“You’re always welcome here,” Cordy said, pulling back to look at Buffy before seeing Spike standing behind her. “And you brought your own bodyguard,” she said, both girls giggling as they looked at Spike’s serious expression. “I’m impressed. That’s traveling in style. And look…he even carries your bags.”

Arching an eyebrow at the brunette, Spike’s body went even more rigid when he felt Angel’s presence.

“How’ve you been, Spike?” Cordy asked, noticing the look on his face as his eyes glanced at the upper level before turning his gaze to Buffy for brief a moment.

“Been alright,” he replied with a slow nod, hesitantly glancing at the blonde once again as he spoke.

‘Mental note,’ Cordelia thought to herself. ‘Keep an eye on these two. Definitely more than meets the eye.’

Giving Spike a smile, she turned toward the stairs where it was obvious Angel was lurking. “Are you going to come say hello to your daughter or are you going to stand up there like a lump?”

Slowly walking down the stairs, Angel glared at the woman he loved.

“What?” she asked in mock indignation. “You know that I always know when you’re around. Part demon, remember? Have been for eighteen years. And, as for these two,” she continued, gesturing to Spike and Buffy. “They already have the enhanced senses. I thought you were smarter than this.”

Offering him a bright smile when Angel shot her a withering gaze, which Cordelia eagerly ignored, she turned to face the young woman, nearly rolling her eyes when she heard Angel’s voice.

“And what are you doing here?” he asked, crossing his arms as he looked at Spike.

Shooting a quick look at Buffy, Spike saw the understanding expression on her face, putting him at ease before he answered. “Told you I’d watch after her, didn’t I? You expected me to let her make the trip from Sunnyhell to Hell on her own?”

Hearing the girls stifling their laughter at Angel’s darkened expression, Spike rolled his eyes, shaking his head.

“What did you expect? That I’ve fallen in love with your daughter and we came here to tell you that we’re living our happily ever after?”

Buffy’s eyes widened as she waited for Angel to respond, nearly fainting when she saw him smile.

“Yeah, now that you mention it, I shouldn’t have bothered asking.”

Clenching her jaw in frustration, Buffy looked at the ground, never noticing Cordelia watching her intently.

‘Am I not good enough for a vampire to fall in love with me? Is it such a ridiculous idea that Spike and I would be together? Or am I really just a possession to be protected?’

Studying the young blonde who was deep in thought, Cordelia slowly turned and walked toward Spike, taking a few of the bags from him. “I’ll show you where you’ll be staying.”

“Separate rooms,” Angel called after her as the two of them began to climb the stairs, leaving him alone with his daughter.

“What?” Cordy cried, spinning around and putting her free hand to her heart in fake astonishment. “I thought in a hotel with over two hundred rooms, you’d want your daughter staying with the hottie.”

Hearing the growl that erupted from Angel at the combined thoughts that his mate was looking at another man and the equally nauseating thought that his daughter might want Spike, he shuddered.

Cordelia repressed the smirk at his reaction but couldn’t help to notice that Buffy’s face immediately flushed a bright shade of red. Something that went unnoticed by Angel. ‘Yep,’ she thought, trying hard not to shake her head and smile at how obvious the two of them were and how clueless Angel was. ‘Definitely something going on.’

“Come on, Spike,” Cordy said, turning and continuing up the stairs. “Maybe we can fit in a quickie before they finish talking,” she said in a mock whisper.

“I heard that,” Angel said in a low voice.

“Isn’t it fun getting him all riled up?” she asked the blonde as they got to the second level.

Spike chuckled, finally loosening the grip on the bag he was holding as he relaxed, remembering that this was the normal Cordelia. “That it is, pet. Always been one of my favorite pastimes.”

* * * * *

“How’ve you been?” Angel asked, looking at Buffy and seeing an unreadable expression on her face. ‘Was she always this small?’ he wondered, noticing that she looked more rundown than usual.

“I’m okay,” she replied with a slight nod, feeling a little uneasy with the situation.

“What are you doing here?” he asked, crossing his arms over his chest and trying to keep any accusation out of his voice.

“The, uh…the Slayer…she died. I came back for the funeral.”

“I’m sorry,” Angel said with genuine honesty. “But that still doesn’t tell me what you’re doing here in Los Angeles.”

“Just missed you, I guess,” Buffy muttered, looking at the floor, wishing that she hadn’t made the decision to come here. ‘Of course he wouldn’t be happy to see me. I’m a liability when I’m close to him.’

Seeing the indecision on her face, Angel took a few steps forward, wrapping his arms around his daughter and pulling her close for a warm hug. “I’m glad you’re here.”

Closing her eyes, Buffy fought the tears that were trying to make themselves known. This was what she had wanted for years. The familiar connection to someone who loved her.

And now that she finally had what she wanted, why was she wishing for the embrace to be different? Why was she wishing for a different man to be holding her?




30

Chapter 30 – Child of Destiny


Unable to sleep, Buffy wandered around the hallways of the hotel. Even dressed in jeans and a sweater, the drafty hallways still had a chill creeping up her spine. Rubbing her hands over her arms, she slowly descended the stairs, looking at the lobby that was illuminated only by a soft moonlight around the edges as it crept through the doorways. Her vision automatically adjusted as her natural abilities took over.

‘The perks of having two vampires for parents,’ she thought with a slight smile.

Wandering into one of the offices, Buffy let her weight fall into the supple leather chair, idly swiveling in a circle. Seeing the picture of Fred and Wesley smiling in a silver frame, she smiled.

‘At least some people are happy,’ she thought, leaning her elbows against the flat surface of the cluttered desk. ‘Maybe I should just patrol. It might help me sleep later…then again, if I run into Dad while he’s out there, that could lead to all kinds of badness…oh well,’ she thought with a shrug, spinning around in the chair as she prepared to leave.

Groaning when her arm accidentally knocked over a stack of papers, Buffy knelt down to attempt to restack them with some semblance of order.

Daughter of Prophecy

The words seemed to jump out at her as she dropped the papers on the desk. Frowning while she picked up the simple piece of notebook paper, Buffy found herself falling back in the chair as she began reading.

Feeling the tears burning her eyes, she swallowed hard, trying to dislodge the lump in her throat.

“…the child of destiny…forever,” she whispered, reading the last line on the page before dropping it onto the desk.

Numbly standing up, Buffy walked through the office, quietly shutting the door behind her and leaning against it.

‘This can’t be happening,’ she thought in shock, sliding down to the floor and letting her head fall into her hands.

She wasn’t sure how much time had passed. The tears had managed to stay controlled, but just barely. Hearing a noise, Buffy slowly looked up, noticing the sky was lightening with the first rays of dawn.

Seeing Angel and Spike walking through, each looking a little winded after combing the streets all night, she didn’t bother to stand up, letting her head fall back into the palms of her hands, hoping that they wouldn’t notice her until she had a chance to sort out her thoughts. She should have known better.

“Buffy?”

“Luv?”

Looking up when she heard her father’s voice, closely followed by Spike’s, she slowly narrowed her eyes on Angel as she stood up on shaky legs.

Spike looked at her, worried about her ashen face and frail figure as she pushed herself to her feet, gripping the doorframe next to her, for balance. Everything in him demanded that he go check on her and make sure she was okay, but something in her eyes told him to stay back.

“Were you ever going to tell me?” she asked softly, causing Spike’s brows to knit together as he looked at her in confusion.

Unable to figure out if she was talking to him, he watched her clench her jaw, directing her gaze at Angel who was staying quiet. Looking over at his grandsire, he narrowed his eyes when Buffy continued.

“Was it just going to be this big secret for me to find out on my own? I guess so…since I did.”

“What are you talking about, pet?” Spike asked quietly, looking between father and daughter.

“You want to tell him or should I?” Buffy asked, crossing her arms over her chest as she looked at Angel with a challenging expression.

“You know.”

“Damn right- I know. You didn’t exactly try and keep it a huge secret, since it was lying out on Wesley’s desk. So, yeah…I know.”

“Know what?” Spike asked, getting sick of the runaround these two were having.

“It would seem that Wesley has discovered a nice little prophecy about me,” she said to Spike, clenching her jaw and never taking her eyes off Angel.

Glancing over at his grandsire, Spike raised an eyebrow, seeing the sheepish expression on his face.

“Would it be faster for me to read the bloody prophecy or does someone want to fill me in on the specifics?”

“I’ll tell you,” Buffy said in a chipper tone that even made Angel cringe with the insincerity that laced through her voice. “The daughter of prophecy, known as many things, by the way- the child of destiny, descendant of fate…you get the idea. Anyway,” she continued in the same upbeat tone. “It looks like what my dear old Dad didn’t want me to discover is that the daughter of two vampires will go on to live forever.”

Silence seemed to smother all of them as they stared at each other.

“It’s not that big of a deal, Buffy,” Angel began, trying to make a weak argument.

“No?” she asked, tilting her head to study him. “I get to go on with this hellish existence until the end of the world, and you don’t think that it’s a big deal?”

“You’re being a little dramatic,” he said, crossing his arms over his chest and looking at her.

“How the hell would you know?” she asked, narrowing her eyes on her father. “You have no idea what I’ve been through.”

“It’s not like you live the life of a Slayer, Buffy,” Angel started to say. “It could be worse.”

“Yeah? And you know why it is worse? Because the Slayer does die. She gets a reprieve from this world after fighting the good fight and paying her dues. But me?” she continued, gesturing to herself. “I don’t have that luxury. According to your little unearthed prophecy, I get to live forever…fighting the fight that needs fighting. Being a born warrior, because hey,” she said in a bright voice, spreading her arms out to her sides. “Who cares if she has a normal life? Who cares if we strip everything away from her until she’s left with absolutely nothing! Who cares if no one gives a shit about me!”

“Buffy-”

“No!” she screamed at Angel. “You listen to me. You expect me to trust you when you can’t even be honest with me? You were never there for me. I’m tired of being the daughter of prophecy or the child of destiny or whatever the hell you want to call me this week! I’m not some damn statistic for a book…I’m me. I’m just me,” she trailed off in a whisper before rolling her eyes to fight back the tears as she looked at the ceiling, not wanting to see the expressions on either of their faces. “You know…when I want to be special, when I want to stand out and be noticed,” she said, shooting a pointed look at Spike. “I’m a nobody. But when I actually want to have a try at a normal life, I find out something like this and…God,” she said in exasperation, trying to keep her tears in check before looking at her father. “Were you ever gonna tell me?”

“When the time was right,” Angel murmured.

“And when would that be?” Buffy replied angrily, clenching her hands into fists. “Whenever you felt like it? Or whenever it was actually good for me to know? You think you’re the all-powerful Alpha male, but you’re not!”

“Watch your mouth,” Angel growled. “You may think you’ve grown up, but you’re still my daughter, Elizabeth.”

“Don’t call me that,” she said in a menacing whisper, practically running from the lobby, wanting to get as far away from him as possible. “That’s not my name!”

“It’s always been your name,” he yelled after her, causing her to stop halfway up the stairs. “‘Buffy’ is just a costume. Just a disguise to hide who you really are.”

“Yeah,” she muttered, turning around to face him with tears glittering in her eyes. “Because that’s what my whole life has always been. Just a mirage.”



Chapter 31 – Contradicting Emotions


Hearing the soft knock on the door, Buffy brushed the tears away, closing her eyes as she stretched out her senses. Letting her shoulders droop in relief when she recognized the familiar signature, she sighed. “Come in, Spike.”

Opening the door, everything in him was practically screaming at him to offer whatever comfort he could provide for her. Closing it with a soft click, he slowly walked over to the bed, sitting down and gently pulling her toward him, breathing a sigh of relief when her arms banded around his waist, seeking the comfort he was providing.

Letting a few tears spill free, Buffy took a deep breath, unable to look at him as she asked, “Did you know?”

“About the prophecy?” he murmured, feeling her nod against him. “No…you heard me downstairs…they didn’t keep me in the loop about it.”

“Would you have told me?” she whispered.

“If things had been different…yeah. I would have told you when you were old enough to handle it.”

“Why?” she whispered, her breath tickling his neck as her shoulders shook with sobs. “Why didn’t he just tell me? Why does he think I can’t handle it?”

“I don’t know, sweetheart,” he murmured into her hair. “I wish I could tell you, but I just don’t know.”

“Was he just going to wait and see what my reaction would be as I watched everyone I loved die while I never aged?”

Pulling back to look at him, Buffy felt her heart speed up when he tenderly brushed the tears away from her cheeks. Not wanting to give herself a chance to think, she let her lips gently brush against his in a soft kiss, pulling back after the barest caress to see his reaction. The shock registered in his eyes before he eagerly leaned forward, reclaiming her lips.

Neither made a move to deepen the kiss for the moment as her hands pushed the duster from his shoulders, allowing him to shrug out of it and the red shirt beneath it before she pulled him down to the bed. His stomach clenched in anticipation when her hands ran over the muscles in his abdomen and chest as she helped him remove his t-shirt before pulling him more forcefully on top of her.

“Make me forget,” she murmured against his lips, letting her eyes roll shut when his hand slid beneath her sweater, gently squeezing her breast, his thumb brushing over her sensitive nipple, leaving Buffy aching for his touch. Hesitantly pushing away from him for a moment, she quickly removed her sweater, leaving her in nothing but a lacey white bra and blue jeans, which Spike made quick work of removing. Feeling his body tighten in preparation as he looked at her, he wasn’t about to question this. Looking at her, sprawled beneath him in nothing but a bra and matching thong, he’d wanted it for too long to stop now. Even if this wasn’t the circumstance he was hoping for, Spike wasn’t going to deny her this.

Feeling his hand trailing along her thigh and brushing against the lace, Buffy moaned when his fingertips brushed her soaked thong out of the way. Arching her body against his as their lips met in a passionate kiss, she gasped against his lips when she felt one of his fingers slowly enter her while his thumb gently massaged her clit, sending little jolts racing through her body.

Squeezing his eyes shut when he felt her inner muscles clamp around him, Spike involuntarily breathed as he gritted his teeth, opening his eyes to see the surprise and pleasure wash over her when he slowly began moving his finger inside of her. Using all of his willpower not to unzip his jeans and pound her into the mattress, Spike settled for nipping at her neck with his blunt teeth.

Groaning when her hand cupped his covered erection, he fought his demon for control as Buffy hurriedly worked on his belt buckle.

“I need you,” she whispered frantically, pushing his jeans past his hips and moving until he was cradled between her thighs, giving him the control he obviously needed.

Parting her legs even more, Buffy arched her body against his. Barely feeling the tip of his cock inside of her, she was practically craving the penetration as her nails dug into his back, leaving deep scratches and nearly drawing blood as she clung to him.

“What the hell is this?!”

Feeling Spike practically leap away from her, Buffy rolled her eyes, letting her full weight briefly fall back to the bed as she heard her father’s voice.

‘This is not happening,’ she thought, shaking her head in frustration, running her hands through her hair.

“Don’t you knock?” she asked, sitting up and grabbing Spike’s red shirt, which was lying on the end of the bed. Glancing at Spike as he finished zipping up his jeans, she could practically feel the nerves radiating off of him.

“Not in my own home,” Angel finally said through clenched teeth, obviously restraining himself from inflicting some immediate violence as he watched Buffy rearrange the shirt so it wasn’t inside out before slipping it on and quickly buttoning it.

“What?” Buffy countered. “Privacy’s not an issue here?” she asked, standing up and smoothing the wrinkled fabric of the shirt before flipping her long hair over the collar.

Angel’s eyes darkened as he watched Spike close the distance between them, reaching out to wrap his arm around her waist.

“Get the hell away from my daughter,” Angel growled, his demon coming to the surface.

Spike reluctantly took a step away, recognizing the danger of the situation, but at the same time, pissed off that he couldn’t be with the woman he loved when he wanted her.

“Get out,” Angel continued in a low voice.

“No,” Spike replied, crossing his arms over his chest. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“I asked you to protect her, and you turn into a cradle-robber?!”

“Excuse me!” Buffy cried. “Standing right here!”

Spike bravely let a smirk come over his lips, tilting his head to study his grandsire. “I think it’s safe to say that she couldn’t be more protected, considering the situation. I don’t think anyone would be able to get to her. And it’s hardly cradle-robbing when she’s over eighteen and clearly wants it.”

Anticipating the blow, he quickly dropped his shoulder, rolling away from Angel and spinning around to retaliate, his eyes widening when Buffy was suddenly standing between them.

“Enough!” she cried, shooting each of them an angry glare before focusing on Angel. “I know what decisions I’m making. I know exactly what I’m getting myself into, and I don’t need you trying to play the protective role.”

“He’s family! You don’t sleep with family, Buffy!”

“Right,” Buffy said with a fake nod. “Because we’re so related, right? The only ‘family’ link I have with Spike is due to the fact that he helped raise me.”

“That’s not true,” Angel growled. “You’re practically related. It’s just…wrong.”

“And tell me, father dear,” she said sarcastically, crossing her arms over her chest. “Was Darla your lover, mother, or mate before she gave birth to me?”

Seeing his face drop when he realized what she said was true, Buffy whirled around to face Spike.

“And you,” she said, turning toward him with a glare. “I’m not some damn trophy! I’m not a possession that you can flaunt whenever you feel like, because you know what, Spike? I’m not yours.”

Feeling the possessiveness wash over him as she continued to glare at him, Spike suddenly had the urge to show her exactly who she belonged to.

“Get out,” she whispered, shaking her head in disbelief of the entire situation.

“The hell I-”

“Get out!” she yelled, looking at Angel and preparing herself to physically remove him from the room.

“What’s going on?”

Everyone turned in time to see Cordelia standing in the doorway with a shocked expression on her face.

“Oh boy,” she breathed, taking in the disarray of Spike’s clothes and the fact that Buffy was standing there in his red shirt that practically fell to her knees. “Angel…I think we should leave them alone,” she said quietly, walking forward and gently taking him by the arm.

“I’m not leaving her alone with him,” he growled.

“Angel,” Cordy began in a slightly patronizing tone. “Buffy is a big girl. She can take care of herself. You know that, so why don’t we just give her some privacy, and you can talk to her when you’ve cooled down, okay?”

Sparks still seemed to shoot between father and daughter as they glared at each other. Finally relenting, Angel allowed himself to practically be dragged from the room, leaving Spike and Buffy alone.

“Buffy,” Spike whispered, taking a step forward to wrap his arms around her.

“Don’t,” she said softly, turning around and pushing him away. “I don’t want to see you either. I just want to be alone.”

“I thought that’s what you didn’t want,” he countered with a glare, trying to cover up the hurt that was welling up inside of him. Seeing Buffy look at the floor with tears shimmering in her eyes, Spike was suddenly reminded that she was just a girl. Just someone who had unknowingly fallen in love with him and was now fighting it with everything she had. And he had practically mocked what she was willingly ready to give him. “Alright, luv,” he whispered, seeing her raise her watery eyes to look at him. “I’ll give you some time. Just promise me we can talk later.”

Hesitating for a moment, Buffy finally nodded. “I promise.”


Chapter 32 – A Father’s Love


She was anticipating it.

It’s not like it was completely unexpected. After all, she’d been awake for over two hours, pacing through the room, not bothering to change her clothes as she waited for the sound of that fateful knock.

Opening the door to see her father on the other side, Buffy decided to offer a meager peace offering, giving him a hesitant smile, which, to his credit, he tried his hardest to return.

“Come in,” she said softly, opening the door even more.

“What’s going on, Buffy?” he asked, barely even inside the room before he turned to face her, cringing at the fact that she was still wearing Spike’s shirt, in spite of the fact that it fully covered her.

“No pleasant small talk- check,” Buffy muttered to herself before turning her gaze to her father. “There’s nothing going on,” she finally whispered. “I thought that…I thought that I loved him…a long time ago.”

Crossing the room with a heavy sigh, Angel suddenly wished that it wasn’t daylight, wanting to be able to look out the window or do something that wouldn’t be hazardous to his health. He just wanted something to get the mental images out of his brain of Spike on top of his daughter.

“You don’t love him anymore?” he asked, turning to look at her after a long moment.

“It doesn’t matter,” she whispered, looking at the floor to fight the tears in her eyes. “We can never be together.”

Angel sighed heavily, closing his eyes before speaking. “Not that I’m pushing for this relationship…this is simply for my own curiosity…why can’t you ever be together?”

“Because he doesn’t love me,” she said in a choked whisper, never raising her eyes from the floor as she continued to hold the tears back. “Not the way he loved Lucy,” she said in a barely audible whisper, causing Angel’s eyes to nearly snap up to her. “Nothing is going to happen,” Buffy continued, doing what she could to reassure him. “What you saw…it was just about comfort. Nothing else.”

“Do you still love him?”

Unable to meet his gaze, Angel felt his heart fall with every second that ticked away without an answer.

“I’m not going to be with him,” she finally whispered.

Running a hand over his face, Angel had no idea what to say. ‘Maybe I should have let Cordy handle this.’

“Look,” Buffy said, turning her gaze to him as she sat down on the bed. “You don’t have to say anything. You don’t have to offer any fatherly advice or make threats against Spike or give me ultimatums. You’re as new to this as I am.”

Angel hesitantly walked over to the bed, sitting down next to her.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t be the father you wanted,” he said softly, looking over at her.

“I’m sorry I seem like an ungrateful brat half the time,” she replied with a slight smile, feeling tears spring to her eyes when he kissed her temple.

“I love you, Buffy.”

“I know,” she whispered. “That’s never been a question…not really.”

Giving her a slight nod, he slowly stood up and walked toward the door. “I’m not happy about this, but…”

“It’s okay,” she said with a forced smile. “Don’t worry about me. I’ll be back to my bright and shiny self before you know it.”

* * * * *

Walking into the lobby, Angel suppressed the growl in his throat when he saw Spike standing by the open back door, smoking a cigarette in the shaded area.

Clenching his teeth as he walked toward him, he watched as Spike crushed the cigarette under his heel.

“Come to stake me?” he muttered, not bothering to turn around and face his grandsire.

“Maybe.”

Slowly turning to face him, Spike’s jaw set as he looked at his grandsire. “Let’s have it out, then. Get it over with,” he said, holding his arms out to his sides, inviting Angel to do whatever he needed to do to get it out of his system.

“Has it happened before?” Angel asked, ignoring the statement as he glared at the other man.

“Once,” he replied honestly, preparing himself for a fight when he saw Angel’s jaw tick.

“Have you claimed her?”

“No,” Spike said, shaking his head. “I would.”

Taking an unneeded breath, Angel briefly closed his eyes, wanting to disassociate himself from the situation. “Have you bitten her?”

“Twice.”

“Twice,” he muttered, clenching his fists, knowing that Buffy wouldn’t forgive him if he did something to Spike. “She loves you, you know?” Angel said, gritting his teeth.

“She did,” Spike replied miserably, looking at the floor for a moment.

Not bothering to correct him, Angel took a moderate amount of pleasure in the fact that Spike didn’t know Buffy’s current feelings.

“I wanted you to watch out for her, because you were the only one for the job.”

“I know,” Spike said quietly.

“I knew you would protect her, in spite of how much you might hate me…and if you hurt her, I’ll kill you and make you suffer in ways Angelus can’t imagine.”

Eyes widening in surprise, Spike watched as Angel, with an enormous amount of willpower, turned and walked into his office, slamming the door so hard, the casing cracked.

* * * * *

Stepping into her room, Spike looked around, surprised to see Buffy moving around the room, throwing her clothes into one of her bags as she haphazardly packed.

“What the bloody hell do you think you’re doing?” he asked, shutting the door behind him as he watched her back straighten with the question.

“Leaving,” she muttered, resuming what she was doing as she picked up a pair of jeans to put on.

Snatching them from her grasp, Spike held them out of her reach as her eyes finally met his.

“You said we’d talk.”

“It’s called a phone,” she replied, turning away from him. “Handy little invention.”

“I don’t want to do this over the phone.”

“Well, too bad,” Buffy cried, spinning around to look at him. “I don’t want to do this at all.”

“Yeah? Have a nice life.”

Seeing the panic flash in her eyes, Spike watched as she quickly masked it, biting her lip as she turned to face the bed.

“What are you saying?” she whispered, refolding a shirt while she waited for his answer, trying to maintain the illusion of being in control.

“You’re always the one running away…I’m tired of chasing you.”

“I never asked you to chase after me,” she cried, spinning around to face him again. “I recall mentioning how I wanted to be left alone- you were the one who insisted on staying. You were the one who…”

“Who what?” he asked in a low voice, grabbing her arm when she tried to turn away. “Who what?”

“Who made me fall in love with you,” she whispered, keeping her eyes downcast when she felt his hand fall away from her arm, not trusting herself to look into his eyes.

“Where are you going?” he asked softly, after a long moment.

“Away,” she whispered.

“Away?”

“I don’t know where I’m going,” she said softly.

Gritting his teeth as he looked at the ceiling, Spike closed his eyes, knowing what he had to do. “I’m going with you.”

“I don’t need a guardian…I’m eighteen, I’m sure my father will release you from your obligations.”

“That’s not why I’m going,” he said softly, seeing her shoulders tense at the implication in his words.

“I can’t offer you anything,” she whispered, taking a deep breath.

“I didn’t ask,” he replied calmly.

“I’m not the same person, Spike,” she said softly. “I’m not used to answering to people and I won’t make myself go back to that.”

“I can handle it.”

Buffy looked up at him, studying his expression for a moment. “Okay…let’s say we go somewhere. And since you’re obviously not asking me for anything, like you said, what if I leave for a day or a night with another guy? Because that’s what people do when they’re on their own…can you handle that?”

It was a test. She knew it. He knew it. The question was- would he take the bait?

Tilting his head to the side, Spike regarded her for a long moment before she finally saw a spark of yellow flash in his eyes. “You go off with a strange man or any man, for that matter, and rest assured I would snap his neck before the night was out.”

Buffy raised an eyebrow in response, turning to face the bed.

“Not the answer you wanted, sweetheart?” he asked in a condescending tone.

“You know what? You’re nothing but a typical man!” Buffy cried, spinning around to face him, finding herself inches away from him. “Possessive and demanding. I offer to give you everything I have and you throw it back in my face. But the second, the very second that I could possibly move on with my life, you have to wedge yourself back into it and play with my feelings again! It’s all just a big game to you, isn’t it, Spike?”

Smashing his lips to hers in a crushing kiss, they practically battled each other before Spike felt her submit to him, melting into his embrace as she clutched at his duster, before noticing what she was doing. Breathlessly pushing him away, her eyes narrowed when she realized what happened.

“Don’t do that!” she cried indignantly. “You don’t…you can’t just control me, Spike.”

“Never said I could.”

“No,” she replied, shaking her head with a mocking smile. “Why say anything when you just use something else…something intimate to control me.”

Closing his eyes with the realization that he’d done it again, Spike let his weight fall to the bed. “I’m sorry, pet,” he said with sincerity. “It’s the demon…craves dominance and submission.”

Reminding herself that he was technically still a soulless monster, she took a deep breath, knowing that she wasn’t being fair. Sitting down with a heavy sigh and a dejected expression, Buffy let her shoulder brush against his as they stared at the wall. “It’s not just your fault,” she whispered. “I could have said no at anytime, but I just… how can I have so much power and still feel so…”

“Powerless?”

“Yeah.”

Turning toward her, Spike let his hand gently massage the small of her back as he affectionately nuzzled her neck, wanting to give her something tender for a change. “Luv, you couldn’t be powerless if you tried.”





Chapter 33 – A Simple Request


Sitting in comfortable silence, Spike finally pulled Buffy fully into his arms, smiling when she curled her body against his.

“Can we just stay here?” she whispered. “Just for a little while.”

“Here in L.A. or here in the room?”

“Maybe both,” she murmured, feeling her heartbeat speed up when Spike picked her up and easily maneuvered them until they were laying down on the bed.

“Alright,” he said softly, briefly closing his eyes when she rested her head against his chest. Laying in contentment with each other, she relaxed even more when she felt his fingers gently run through her hair before he slowly bent down and left a lingering kiss on the top of her head.

Fighting the shiver that threatened to run through her, Buffy sighed in contentment, letting her mind wander for a few minutes, pretending that he actually wanted to be here with her and she wasn’t a poor substitute for someone else.

“Why does this scare you so much?” he whispered into her hair, inhaling the sweet scent as he waited for her to respond.

Snapping out of her fantasy, Buffy suddenly remembered the prophecy she had discovered that led to the events of the night.

“Because I’ll be alone,” she replied in a choked whisper, trying to take a deep breath.

“What?”

“What happens when Dad becomes a real boy, Spike?” she asked, sitting up and turning to face him with a watery gaze. “What happens when he gets his happily ever after and I’m stuck here to wander this earth until the apocalypse that finally takes? I’m alone. He’ll Shanshu and…”

“And you’ll stay the daughter of prophecy,” he murmured, remembering the term that she had used earlier. “But you won’t be alone. Don’t think for a second that you will be,” he said softly, brushing the hair away from her eyes.

“Why shouldn’t I?”

“Because you have me,” he said simply.

“No, I don’t,” she murmured, sitting up and moving to the edge of the bed.

Catching her before she could leave, Spike pulled her back to face him. “You always have me. Nothing is going to change that.”

“Then prove it,” she whispered, her eyes wide with clarity as she sat up a little straighter.

“What?” he asked in confusion, tilting his head to study her.

“Prove it,” she repeated, inching closer to him. “Take me…make me yours.”

Feeling the shock seeping through him, Spike’s lips parted as he contemplated her for a moment, wondering if she was serious.

“Do you have any idea what you’re asking me to do?” he asked, pushing the hair off her neck as he eyed it hungrily.

“I know exactly what I’m asking,” she replied, swiftly moving until she was straddling his lap. “This doesn’t have to mean anything,” she continued in an urgent whisper, not knowing that the darkening of his eyes was desire and not confusion. “I just want to know that I belong to someone. I want to know that no matter where I am, I won’t be alone…even if I am.”

“Buffy,” he said softly. “Pet, I always imagined that when this happened, it would be because we both wanted it and not because you feel you have to do something to keep me close.”

Seeing the sadness in her eyes, Spike made a move to grab her as she slowly tried to lift her body away from his. “I understand,” she murmured.

“You understand what?”

“That you don’t want me,” she whispered, unable to look into his eyes. “I know it’s a big deal to claim someone and you’d want to save it for somebody you can really care about, but I thought that…”

Trailing off in a choked voice, Spike watched as she battled the tears in her eyes.

“Don’t think that,” he said in a quiet voice, shaking his head, trying to control himself. “I’ll make you a deal, pet,” he continued, cupping her cheek and running his thumb along her cheek. “You think about this…make sure it’s not just an impulsive decision, and if you think it’s what you really want…I’ll do it. I’ll do it in a heartbeat,” he added with a smile.

“Really?” she asked in disbelief. “You would…you would want this…me?”

“God, yes,” he murmured, bringing her closer to brush his lips over hers in a brief, tender kiss. “When are you going to realize that I want you for you?”

“Spike…”

“Yeah, luv?” he replied, pulling away from her, trying to control his sudden erection, making it that much harder with her body on top of his and his hands resting on the bare expanse of her thighs.

Nervously running her fingernails along his covered abdomen, Buffy hesitantly looked into his eyes, biting her lip as she tried to get through her nervousness. “Claim me,” she whispered, tilting her neck in invitation.

“Wasn’t exactly what I meant when I told you to think it over.”

“You don’t have to…go by the traditional rules. I just want to feel safe.”

“If you want me to do this, then there’s no going back,” he said with a serious expression. “You’ll be mine and no one will touch you.”

“You really want me?” she whispered, unconsciously moving closer to him.

Cupping her face in his hands, Spike could see the insecurity in her gaze. “Listen to me,” he said softly. “I love you…I love you, Buffy.”

Feeling her chin tremble when his lips met hers in a tender kiss, Buffy let her lips play on his for a moment before pulling away and tilting her head.

Seeing her neck exposed as the long hair fell away from her shoulders, Spike’s fangs itched for freedom.

“Please, Spike,” she whispered.

“It shouldn’t be like this, Buffy,” he said, shaking his head. “It should be right.”

“How much more right can it get?” she asked, looking at him with pleading eyes. “You just told me that you love me…that’s as right as it gets in my book.”

“Then tell me,” he whispered, seeing a brief flash of panic in her gaze before she took a deep breath.

“I love you,” she murmured, avoiding his eyes as she battled her tears. “I don’t…I didn’t want to, but…I never stopped.”

“I know,” he said softly, pulling her close and gently biting her neck with his blunt human teeth. It was his way of testing whether she really wanted this or not. If she had tensed at all, he knew he wouldn’t be able to go through with it.

But she didn’t.

Hearing her breathy gasp as she leaned closer to him, Spike could feel her fingers digging into his shoulders. Calling his demon forth, he felt her tremble with anticipation when his tongue trailed along her throat.

“Please,” she said in a hoarse whisper, practically letting her body melt against his.

Running his hand up the length of her back, he gently gripped the back of her neck, holding her in place before pulling back to look at her.

Seeing his true face, Buffy stared at him with wide eyes before giving him a soft smile, knowing that he was asking for her silent acceptance. Reaching up to slowly trace along his ridged brow, she tentatively leaned forward, pressing her lips to his in a tender kiss, careful to avoid his fangs before slowly pulling away and giving him a slight nod.

Taking a deep breath, Spike pulled her closer to him, feeling his previous mark practically calling to him.

Piercing the tender skin of her throat, he could feel her thigh muscles contract around him as she tensed before slowly releasing the pressure. Hearing the soft moan that escaped her lips, he took deep pulls of her blood, relishing the sweet taste of it on his tongue.

‘The blood of a Slayer didn’t even taste this good.’

The feeling of his teeth in her neck, combined with his hard body pressed intimately against hers, Buffy felt like she was going to explode. Unable to control herself any longer, she frantically worked on his belt buckle, freeing his erection as she brushed the fabric of her panties away. Impaling herself on his cock, she was vaguely aware of Spike extracting his teeth to pull back and look at her.

Hearing her moan at the loss of contact, he let the demon visage slip away as she frantically moved her hips with his. Gently caressing his lips with hers in a tender kiss, Spike pulled back, seeing the need on her face as he pressed his forehead to hers, never letting his gaze leave her eyes.

“Mine,” he whispered, brushing his lips over hers again, in the lightest touch.

“Yours,” she murmured, trembling when her orgasm began to build, feeling the strange, encompassing feeling of warmth as the claim took effect, binding her to Spike, letting her know who she belonged to. Crying out when he latched onto her throat again as his hands ripped open the shirt, exposing her to his wandering hands, she felt the pull on her neck go straight through her body, moving more frantically when she felt him reach up to palm her breast before twisting her nipple until she was screaming in climax.

Gripping her hips in a bruising hold, Spike continued to move her, pumping into her at a rapid pace, seeking his own release. Feeling her teeth in his throat, his entire body shook with the force of his orgasm as her muscles strangled his cock, pumping into her with a final thrust, he tensed while he emptied himself inside of her. Wrapping his arms around her waist, he let his head fall to her shoulder as Buffy removed her teeth and relaxed against him, completely sated.

“Mine,” she said breathlessly, offering a halfhearted smile when Spike pulled back to look at her.

“Yours,” he whispered in amazement, tilting her neck to expose his mark before tenderly running his tongue along her throat, lapping up the blood that was pooling from the wound and sealing it.

“Thank you,” she murmured, pulling back to look at him as she ran her hands through his hair.

“Nothing to thank me for, baby. You’re mine, Buffy.”

“Forever?” she asked, her nervousness threading through her words.

“Forever.”


Chapter 34 – Never Let Go


Watching as Buffy slowly opened her eyes, Spike had to smile at the confusion that seemed to materialize for a moment before she realized where she was.

“Are you okay?” he asked softly as she raised her eyes to his.

Hesitantly touching the marks on the side of her neck, she bit her lip as she nodded, an unreadable expression on her face as she avoided his eyes. “Yeah,” she murmured. “I’m fine.”

“Do you regret it?” he asked, trying to keep the nervousness out of his voice as Buffy turned her gaze to his.

“Do you love me?” she replied, needing to hear it again.

“I love you,” he whispered, relaxing when a brilliant smile lit up her face as she eagerly pulled him closer to kiss him.

Pulling away after a long moment, Buffy shook her head. “I don’t regret it.”

“Good to know,” he said with a smile. “Did you sleep well, luv?” he whispered, unable to resist the urge to nuzzle the swollen mark on her neck.

Instantly calming under his touch, Buffy’s heart rate skyrocketed at his close proximity, trembling when she felt his lips gently caressing his mark.

“What are you doing?” she whispered breathlessly.

“I seem to remember you asking me what the point was with claims,” he murmured against her skin.

“Th-that was when I was claimed without really wanting it,” she said, letting her eyes close when she felt his fingers easily parting the fabric of her shirt.

“One of these days, we’re going to have to do this without clothes,” he murmured, pushing the shirt over her shoulders and maneuvering her until he was able to throw it to the floor. Pulling back to admire her body as her smooth skin was exposed, he slowly traced a finger along her abdomen, smiling when she shivered and lifted toward his touch.

“No time like the present,” she replied, her voice practically pleading with him.

“Not this time,” he whispered, slipping a hand beneath the lace of her panties. “This time, it’s just for you.”

Gasping when his blunt teeth nearly attacked her throat, Buffy shuddered as his finger put pressure on her clit before trembling when an unexpected orgasm washed over her. Biting his shoulder to stop her screams from ripping from her throat, she slowly pulled away, seeing Spike with a smug expression on his face.

“What was that?” she asked breathlessly, gasping for air.

Arching an eyebrow as he smirked, Spike tilted his head to look at her. “I believe it’s called an orgasm, luv.”

Smacking him on the chest, Buffy rolled her eyes. “Not that,” she said in exasperation. “I meant, whatever you did,” she murmured, suddenly unsure of herself as her fingertips ran over his mark on her neck.

Watching her frown when she didn’t get any feeling that was close to the same result, Spike had to smile as her brows drew together, causing a tiny crease to form. Leaning over her once more, he took her hand in his, letting his blunt teeth scrape over the swollen skin of her neck, pulling back when she gasped.

“One of the benefits,” he said softly, looking into her eyes and getting lost in her gaze.

“No complaints,” she said breathlessly, giving him a soft smile before snuggling against his chest, frowning after a moment.

“What is it?” he murmured, pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

“What’s what?”

“You’re unhappy about something…what is it?” Sitting up to look at him, Spike gave her a small smile as they linked their hands together. “There’s a lot that goes with this, Buffy. Especially considering you not only returned the claim, but made one of your own.”

“But I’m not a vampire,” she said in confusion.

“No, but you’re the daughter of two. You have the strength, the immortality…makes the bond that much stronger.”

“Then you can feel what I’m feeling?” she asked softly.

“I can,” he said with a nod, tilting his head to look at her. “Now, what made you unhappy?”

Smiling sheepishly, Buffy avoided his gaze for a minute before giggling and pulling at the fabric of his shirt. “I just wanted this off.”

Chuckling with her, Spike sat up and quickly stripped off the shirt, pulling her back into his arms as he lay down. “Better?”

“Mmm, much,” Buffy purred, snuggling close to him, enjoying the feel of her skin against his, letting her eyes close in exhaustion. They hadn’t rested much, and the exertion of the day was catching up with her. “We still have to tell my dad,” she whispered, biting her lip when she felt his muscles tense. Fighting back the tears at the reaction, Buffy closed her eyes as she took a deep breath.

Even without the claim, Spike would have been able to feel the nerves and sadness radiating off of her as she tried to pull away from him and sit up.

“Stay here, pet,” he said softly, holding her close, unwilling to let her leave so soon, especially when something was obviously bothering her. “What’s wrong?”

“Do you want to keep it from him? From…everybody?” she asked sadly, hating the fact that after everything they’d been through, he might want to keep her as his dark little secret.

“No,” he replied, shaking his head and pressing a kiss to the top of hers. “Just worried about what your poofter of a father is going to say, that’s all.”

Closing her eyes when she felt his fingertips graze over his mark, Buffy sighed, relaxing against him. “I can talk to him. While you’re away…far away. Possibly in a neighboring town.”

“He asked me if I bit you.”

Shooting up to a sitting position, Buffy turned her wide eyes to Spike. “He did? What did you say?”

“Told him the truth,” he replied with a shrug. “That it happened twice.”

Watching her with an amused expression as Buffy began prodding his chest with her fingertips, Spike tilted his head with a slight smile.

“What’re you doing, pet?”

“Wondering why you’re not dust,” she replied with a smirk, giggling when he flipped their positions on the bed, pinning her beneath him.

“Are you saying I couldn’t take him in a fight?” Spike asked, arching an eyebrow as he looked at her.

“I don’t know, Spike,” she said with a skeptical look, struggling to keep a straight face. “He’s pretty tough.” Hearing the warning growl that came from him, she smiled before continuing, “But, I guess you have your own attributes that you could bring to a fight.”

“Bloody right, I do,” he replied with another growl, unable to keep up the false pretense as he looked at her for another moment before smashing his lips against hers, kissing her with such passion, Buffy felt as if she was being claimed again.

Breaking away after a moment, he looked at her flushed face and rapidly heaving chest. Not saying anything, he pulled her toward him again, rolling over and settling back into their previous position.

Closing his eyes after a moment, Spike sighed when he felt her fingertips gently trail along his abdomen. Her cheek rested against his chest, letting her silky hair spill along her shoulders and onto his.

“What’s going through that mind of yours, pet?”

“Do you think I’m going to age?” she asked, her hand never stopping its movement.

“I doubt it,” he murmured, closing his eyes as he inhaled the sweet scent of her hair. “Not much more, anyway.”

“How do you know?” she asked, turning her eyes up to his face and smiling when she saw how relaxed he was.

“That’s the way it works,” Spike said in a soft voice, focusing on her gentle touch. “You obviously have a purpose in this life, and I doubt you can fulfill it as an eighty year old woman.”

Giggling softly, Buffy relaxed even more, closing her eyes and letting the exhaustion begin to take over. Her body was craving these stress-free moments that she was getting.

“You know,” Spike said with a smile obvious in his voice. “We could always go to Hollywood. You’ll be young and beautiful forever- just what that town is always looking for and never finds. You could make millions, luv.”

Laughing together, Buffy turned to look at him again. “Beautiful?”

He could feel the nervousness coming off of her as she looked at him. “I already told you that you are. Still don’t believe me?” he asked, tilting his head to look at her.

“That was a year ago,” she replied, cuddling closer to him. “I’ve changed since then.”

“And it’s made you more bloody gorgeous than you were,” he whispered, kissing the top of her head before settling in for a nap.

Spike was nearly asleep when he realized that Buffy wasn’t sleeping. “What’s wrong, Goldilocks?” he murmured, running his hands through her hair.

“Do you ever get the feeling that you’re living the wrong life? Like there’s been this massive mistake and the life you were dealt is just this big, cosmic joke?”

“Can’t say that I have, pet. You saying that this, between us, is a mistake?”

“No,” she said quickly, shaking her head as she looked at him. “You’re the one thing in this life that I am sure of.”

“Good to know,” he murmured, brushing his lips against hers. “Because I’m not letting you go.”



Chapter 35 – Permanent Decisions


Looking over at her sleeping lover, Buffy let a smile play on her lips as she moved closer to him. Her naked body pressed against his, causing him to unconsciously seek out her warmth, wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling her closer to him.

Glancing at the clock, Buffy bit her lip, seeing that it was past midnight. Hearing her stomach growl as it reminded her that she hadn’t eaten in twenty-four hours, she slowly disentangled herself from Spike’s embrace. They had been in bed for hours, and after their most recent round of lovemaking, Buffy didn’t expect him to wake up for a while.

Standing up, she smiled as she watched Spike smack his lips and scratch his chest before rolling over to her side of the bed. Stifling the giggle, Buffy pushed her pillow next to him, running her hand through his hair as he snuggled closer to the pillow, inhaling her scent.

Reaching for the red shirt that had ended up on the floor at some point in the night, Buffy frowned. Chances are, she would run into her father at this hour, and it probably wouldn’t be the best idea to smell like her lover.

* * * * *

Twenty minutes, a hot shower, and some fresh clothes later, Buffy wandered into the kitchen of the hotel. Taking in the stainless steel appliances as she walked toward the huge refrigerator, she let her fingers trail along the flat surface of the counter.

The kitchen was spotless, considering the fact that it’s only use was to hold blood and snacks. Cordelia definitely didn’t cook, but Buffy was hoping that she would be able to find something edible at this hour.

“Guess I could always go to Steak and Shake,” she muttered to herself before smiling. “Have to take a stake, though.” Jerking open the door to the refrigerator and freezer at the same time, she smiled when she saw the pint of Cookies and Cream ice cream that was sitting in front of her. Eagerly grabbing it out of the freezer, Buffy began searching the drawers for a spoon.

Finally finding one in one of the many drawers, she moved toward the center of the room. Sitting down at the huge counter, she couldn’t help but smile as a memory of the more naïve fifteen-year-old Buffy seemed to surface.

“Spike, it’s mine!” Buffy shrieked, running around the kitchen island as she tried to catch the vampire who was holding her ice cream hostage.

“Not nice to not share, Princess,” he taunted with a playful smile, dipping a finger into the melting substance and bringing it to his lips, briefly closing his eyes as he savored the taste. “Mmmm.”

Narrowing her eyes, Buffy leaped over the island, surprising both of them with her speed. But apparently she wasn’t fast or tall enough, since Spike merely chuckled and held the carton over his head, laughing harder when she made an attempt to jump and recapture it.

“No fair,” she pouted, crossing her arms over her chest and stomping her foot, inwardly thrilled that he was showing her so much playful attention. The kind of attention that only she was on the receiving end of. “You’re taller than me. And besides, you can’t even taste it, and you’re hoarding it for yourself.”

“I can taste it,” he replied indignantly. “Just don’t need it for nourishment…and it packs on the pounds.”

Buffy snorted, imagining Spike gaining any weight from a few bites of ice cream when he probably burned off a pound a night patrolling.

“You can taste it?” she replied with an arched eyebrow.

“Okay, maybe not the same way you can, but that’s still no reason to be stingy.”

Giggling softly, Buffy tossed her hair over her shoulder as Spike took a step toward her. Dipping his finger into the ice cream again, her eyes briefly widened when he offered her the taste.

Letting a soft smile play on her lips for a moment, she slowly stepped forward, accepting the offer.

Resisting the urge to close her eyes as it began to melt on her tongue, Buffy watched as Spike’s jaw tightened before she swirled her tongue around the tip of his finger, smothering a smile when his eyes rolled shut.

Unknown to either of them, that was the moment when everything changed…it would just take another three years before either of them were able to do anything permanent about it.

“You look lost in thought.”

Her spine straightened as she was pulled out of one of her favorite memories at the sound of the familiar voice. Turning toward the entrance of the kitchen, she let herself relax and smile when she saw her father. “Not really,” she replied with a shrug, letting her brow furrow when he walked toward her before shrugging off the uncomfortable feeling with a brighter smile. “Ice cream?”

Studying the offered carton for a moment, Angel finally smiled, reaching into a nearby drawer for another spoon.

“What’s going through that head of yours?” he asked, sitting down next to Buffy and digging into the ice cream.

“Nothing much,” she said around a spoonful. “Memories…I guess.”

“Good or bad?” he asked, glancing over at her.

“Definitely of the good,” she replied, trying to control the blush that was rising to her cheeks.

“Didn’t see you much today,” he said, not looking over at her as he got another helping.

“Yeah…I was, um…clearing things up with Spike.”

“About that…Buffy, I don’t like it.”

Turning toward him with a frown, she slowly tilted her head, studying the deep brown eyes and familiar face that suddenly didn’t look as familiar as it once did.

“I’m capable of making my own decisions now, Dad,” she said softly.

“Spike’s not a good decision,” Angel said with a slight shake of his head.

“Why? A man who would do anything for me? Who has stood by and protected me, worried about me and comforted me? A man who you trusted enough to watch over me, suddenly isn’t good enough for me?”

“It’s not about that, Buffy. I just don’t think you should let things go too far.”

Biting her tongue as she looked at the countertop, she felt as if her heart was being pulled in two different directions. But there was no doubt about who the real winner would be.

“I’m not giving him up, Dad,” she said quietly, turning toward him with a pained expression.

Her heart rate sped up when she saw his expression immediately darken, showing her a side of the man that she’d never met.

“That’s too bad,” he replied in a cold voice before slamming his fist into her cheek, nearly shaking his hand when a dull pain shot through his arm with the force of the punch, knowing that it would leave an impressive bruise on her cheek. Watching as Buffy toppled off the stool and landed on the cold cement floor, unconscious, he slowly stood up with a maniacal smile as his eyes hardened even more. “Guess we’ll have to rectify this in a more permanent way.”








Chapter 36 – Daddy Dearest


Groggily opening her eyes, Buffy frowned as the dull pain seemed to evolve into a full explosion inside of her head. Groaning in pain, she slowly pressed her hands against the cold, unfamiliar cement floor and pushed herself up to a semi-sitting position. Looking around the bare room that looked like a converted warehouse, she frowned when her eyes settled on her father, staring down at her with a cold smile.

“What’s going on?” she asked, her voice laced with pain as she slowly reached up to touch her tender cheek with the back of her hand.

“Someone needed a lesson in discipline. That’s what I’m here for,” he said, clasping his hands behind his back and pacing around her in a slow circle.

Narrowing her eyes as she studied him, Buffy felt her stomach drop when she realized what was going on. “And you are?”

“Oh, forgive me,” he said with a lazy smile. “I forget we’ve never been properly introduced. The name’s Angelus.”

“Thought as much,” Buffy replied, painfully pushing herself to her feet with a grimace. Locking eyes with him again, she suppressed a smile at the dejected look on his face that she didn’t seem as scared of him as he thought she should. “And how are you here?” she asked, refusing to back down from a demon she’d been warned about her whole life.

“Don’t know, don’t care,” he replied, resuming his pacing, obviously not concerned that the young girl wasn’t chained or tied up. “What I care about,” he continued in a slow, drawn out voice. “Is how you’re here…or more accurately, why you’re still here.”

Narrowing her eyes, Buffy crossed her arms over her chest, refusing to be intimidated. “I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.”

“Angel knew,” he interrupted, never faltering as he continued to walk around her in a slow circle while Buffy’s cold gaze followed him. “He was willing to do the upstanding thing and let it happen.” Coming to a stop in front of her, he turned to face her with a deadly glare. “I’m not so forgiving.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” she repeated, becoming more uncomfortable with the situation.

“And you never will,” he replied, lunging at her throat.

* * * * *

“Where the hell are they?” Spike growled, pacing around the hotel as Cordelia and Wesley sleepily sat on the couch, watching him.

“Spike, Angel knows this city,” Wesley said, suppressing a yawn. “He’s lived here for over twenty years, and if Buffy went with him, nothing is going to happen to her. Why don’t you go back up to your room and get some rest.”

“Because she would have told me,” he growled, frustrated that the claim was still at such a new stage that he couldn’t pinpoint her location. He just knew that she wasn’t in the hotel. “She would have left a note or done something. She wouldn’t have just up and left. And I wouldn’t have woken up feeling a flash of her pain.”

“She probably just needed some fresh air after she stubbed her toe or something,” Cordelia said, trying to appease the frustrated vampire and ignoring the fact that he had obviously claimed her. “I’m sure she’ll be back soon.”

Opening his mouth to respond, Spike froze when he felt a distinct tremor of fear rush through him as the marks on his neck tingled before panic seemed to explode through his body.

* * * * *

Swallowing a gasp when Angelus came rushing at her with his demon visage firmly in place, Buffy ignored her fear as she threw her arms up to block his attack. His impact propelled them backwards, sending her crashing to the floor. As her back came in contact with the hard surface, she tried to ignore the fresh pain in her body as she struggled to keep his teeth from sinking into her neck. Or from discovering Spike’s marks, since she didn’t know what kind of reaction this version of Angel would have regarding the claim.

Cringing when she pushed against his chest, Buffy managed to thrust her knee into his stomach, hearing a groan of pain and giving her the opportunity to shove him away before rolling over and jumping to her feet.

Panting with the exertion, she watched as Angel got to his feet with a smile on his face that could almost be…pride?

“You know…I knew Angel wasn’t that bright, considering I’m the real brains of the operation, but sending you away just takes the cake.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” she asked, narrowing his eyes on the ghost of her true father, unwilling to let him get to her with his fucked up mind games that she’d been warned about.

“Having such a young, willing body at his disposal,” Angelus clarified with a slow smirk. “I definitely won’t mind breaking you in.”

“Okay…one- ew. Two- you’re a little more psycho than I would have thought. And three- eww.”

“It’s not bad if you want it,” he said before dropping his voice to what should have been a seductive whisper, but it was a voice that Buffy found just a little more than disturbing considering the situation. “And don’t worry,” he continued. “After a while, you’ll want it. Oh, there’s definitely some things I have planned for that body,” he said, looking her up and down with a leer.

“Are you trying to test my upchuck reflex?” she asked, raising an eyebrow as she looked at him, continuously reminding herself that this man wasn’t her father. He was merely a mask that Angel was forced to wear.

“Come on, Buffy,” he said, drawing out her name as he looked her up and down. “You know you want it.”

“Can’t say it’s ever crossed my mind,” she replied, tilting her head to the side, not letting him see that he was affecting her as she offered him a tiny smile. “Never been much for the ‘Daddy’ fantasy.”

“And what about Spike?” he asked with a slight growl. “Because that’s what he’s been to you. You really thought he would be good for you? Spike doesn’t know what to do with a woman.”

“Oh, trust me, he’s anything but a father figure. And I’m well aware of what he’s capable of. Consider me broken in.”

Seeing the anger cloud the vampire’s vision, Buffy briefly thought Angel had come to the surface of those brown eyes but soon realized that it was merely Angelus’ rage. Bracing herself for an attack, she was surprised when he merely continued his casual perusal of her body before cocking his head to one side as he narrowed his eyes, studying her face.

“Your eyes,” he said in a soft voice that sounded so much like Angel, gazing at her with a look Buffy didn’t recognize. “You have Darla’s eyes.”

Seeing the flash of pain and curiosity in her gaze before she carefully hid it away, Angelus smiled.

‘And there’s her weakness.’




Chapter 37 – A Father’s Legacy


“She hated being pregnant, you know,” Angelus said, walking around Buffy in a slow circle, watching as her eyes followed his every move, wisely not trusting him.

“Yeah, well, judging from the fact that she had to kill herself to have me, I didn’t expect the pregnancy was all roses and puppies,” Buffy replied, trying not to show how affected she was by this conversation.

“She hated you,” he said with a wicked gleam in his eye, seeing her chin tremble slightly. “Everything about you, from the way you squirmed around inside of her until the time she went into labor. Until finally, she just…jammed a stake in her own heart so she would never have to look at your face. Kind of makes you ache inside, doesn’t it?” he asked in a soft voice, bending down to look into her eyes.

“No,” she replied softly, tilting her head and staring at a spot over his shoulder as if she was thinking of something instead of trying to hold back her tears. “You know what I am?” she asked, turning her attention back to him. “Bored.”

Throwing her fist toward his face, Buffy was moderately surprised when he rolled his shoulder, practically sending her crashing into him with the momentum of not connecting with the punch. Catching herself before she was in a vulnerable position, she quickly angled her arm, letting her elbow smash into his temple in a forceful blow, knocking him to the ground.

Slamming her foot into his face, Buffy breathed a sigh of relief when he collapsed on the ground, unconscious.

Temporarily debating with herself about whether or not she should attempt to tie him up or take him with her, Buffy bit her lip before looking toward the exit of the building.

“No,” she muttered, glancing at Angelus one more time before running through the warehouse. “I’m not one of those idiot girls from a horror movie who doesn’t know the danger she’s in.”

Slamming through the door, Buffy didn’t bother to stop to get her bearings. She knew Angelus would be able to track her, and she wasn’t about to risk letting him get close to her.

* * * * *

“I don’t know what you’re trying to do, but you’re bloody well going to help me find her! Do a fucking locator spell or something! I don’t care, just find her!”

Spike’s frantic voice traveled toward her before she even entered the hotel. It was nearly sunrise by the time she’d made her way back to the Hyperion, and Buffy was exhausted from running the entire way.

“Spike, listen to me, if you would just calm down, we’d…”

Trailing off when she heard the doors open, Cordelia turned and breathed a sigh of relief when she saw Buffy practically fly through. Spike met her halfway, lifting her into his arms and squeezing her with his full strength. Closing his eyes and breathing deep as he reassured himself that she was alright, he didn’t bother to loosen his hold on her.

Buffy clung to him with equal strength, letting the tears spill free as she squeezed her eyes shut, burying her face in his neck and sobbing as the events of the night finally caught up with her.

Loosening his hold on her so that he was no longer crushing her, Spike pulled back to nuzzle the mark on her neck, doing what he could to settle her down through his touch. He didn’t know where she was or who she was with, but the distress that he was feeling from her was practically knocking him over.

“Calm down, baby,” he whispered, kissing his mark on her neck, ignoring the other people in the room as he attempted to calm her. He was terrified of what could have happened to her, but the fact that she was in his arms was enough to keep his questions silent until he made sure she was okay. “You’re safe.”

Taking a shuddering breath, Buffy slowly pulled back to look up at him with wide eyes. The fear was evident in her gaze, causing more fear to pass through to Spike. Cupping her face in his hands, he tenderly smiled down at her, not willing to let her know how worried he was as he brushed a tear away with his thumb. Watching her chin tremble, he briefly closed his eyes before offering her a tentative smile, needing to stay strong for her.

“What happened, luv?” he asked, tilting his head to look at her, never breaking contact for fear that one of them would collapse as the stress of the day caught up with them.

“Angelus,” she whispered, glancing over at Wesley and Cordelia, feeling a shudder pass through Spike and into her. “He’s…I don’t know what happened, but…”

“He’s back,” Wesley said, swallowing hard as he looked down at the floor as everyone sat in stunned silence.

Pulling Buffy closer to him, Spike gritted his teeth, turning to look at the other man with narrowed eyes. “And why don’t you sound surprised, mate?” he asked, feeling Buffy snuggle closer to him, seeking the comfort that only he could give her.

Slowly rubbing his eyes before pinching the bridge of his nose, Wes disappeared into his office.

Clenching his jaw, Spike took a deep breath before turning back to the woman in his arms. “Are you alright?” he asked, studying Buffy, stretching out his senses to make sure she wasn’t injured, other than the dark bruise on her cheek.

“Yeah,” she whispered with a hesitant nod. “Just a little shaken up. He’s, um…he’s not the best company.”

“No,” Spike agreed, glanced at the door of the office and seeing Wesley reappear with an old piece of parchment. “He’s not.”

“This is why,” Wes said in a soft voice, seeing Buffy turn her eyes to his.

“What is it?” she asked, never making a move to leave Spike’s embrace.

“A prophecy,” he said softly, obviously not wanting to tell her what this particular prophecy entailed.

“Of course it is,” she replied with a sardonic laugh. “I mean, why wouldn’t it be, right? I am the daughter of prophecy, after all.”

Cringing at the sarcasm-laced words, Wesley nodded. “Quite literally, actually.”

Pulling away from Spike but keeping his hand firmly locked with hers, Buffy stared at the other man in confusion. “What do you mean?” she asked softly.

“You are, literally, the daughter of prophecy,” he muttered, unable to look at her as he held up the piece of paper. “This prophecy. You’re his daughter.”

“The prophecy itself is about Angel,” Spike muttered, drawing his eyebrows together in confusion. “What’s it say?” he asked, trying to keep the anxiety out of his voice for Buffy’s sake.

“That the daughter will kill the father,” Wesley said, never looking up from the scroll he was holding, unwilling to see the expression on the young woman’s face. “It’s cryptic, at best, but we do know that Buffy will have to kill him.”

Frantically looking around the room, Buffy took in the different expression on everyone’s faces. Cordelia’s sadness, Wesley’s indifference, Spike’s compassion as his eyes met hers. She quickly looked away, knowing that she would crack under the force of her emotions if she continued to look at him.

“That’s what he was talking about,” she murmured, closing her eyes to try and stop the pain.

“What?” Spike asked, turning her to face him. “What did he say?”

“He said that Angel knew. That Angel was willing to do the upstanding thing and let it happen,” she whispered, closing her eyes as she recalled Angelus’ words. “And then he said that he wasn’t as forgiving, but he wouldn’t tell me why.”

“It has to happen, Buffy,” Wesley said softly, still looking at the prophecy in front of him, reading what he could from it. “So it is written…so shall it be.”

“No,” she whispered, shaking her head, clutching at Spike’s forearm, trying to keep her strength. “I can’t…how can they expect me to…”

“We’ll figure something out,” Spike murmured, wrapping an arm around her waist, trying to soothe her as he attempted to calm her through the claim. He could feel the tension rolling off of her. Feel the despair wafting around her at the thought that she would have to kill her only blood relative.

“So this is his reward? This is what he gets for all his years of fighting the good fight and nearly getting himself killed in the process? He gets to die anyway?” she asked, finally looking into Cordelia’s eyes and seeing the sad acceptance on her face. “You knew,” Buffy whispered in disbelief. “You knew and you didn’t tell me.”

“We all did,” she said softly, glancing over at Wesley. “Wes and Fred found the prophecy a long time ago, but Angel thought that you would have to kill him to fulfill the prophecy. I’m sure he never dreamed it would be Angelus or he would have warned us. He would have told you.”

“And he was just going to let me kill him?” Buffy asked, trying to unsuccessfully control the volume of her voice as she picked up the paper and threw it on the floor. “For no other reason than a fucking prophecy has it written?”

She looked around the room as everyone watched her. Unable to handle it anymore, Buffy collapsed on the floor, burying her face in her hands as she cried.

Vaguely aware that Spike was sitting behind her, pulling her into his lap as he wrapped his arms around her, Buffy turned and sobbed into his chest, clutching at the lapels of his duster as he tried to calm her. “I can’t do it, Spike,” she whispered, trembling when he gently kissed her neck. “I can’t kill my father.”


 




Chapter 38 – Moment of Truth


Leading Buffy into their room, Spike almost couldn’t turn around to face her, listening to her soft sobs.

“Come here, sweetheart,” he whispered, closing the door behind them and pulling her into his arms, closing his eyes when she buried her face in his chest and cried as she clung to him.

“Why?” she whispered, her voice muffled against his shirt. “Is this just some Higher Power who’s wanting to get a good laugh at my expense?”

Pulling back to look at him, she felt her chin tremble as she looked into his eyes.

“I don’t know,” he whispered, brushing the tears away from her cheeks.

Stepping away from him, she wrapped her arms around her body, slowly pacing the room, muttering to herself. “Let’s have her mother kill herself, and then she has to kill her father. That’s poetic justice. Because it brings the family full circle and leaves her right where she should be…alone.”

“You’re not alone,” Spike said softly, trying to keep the anger out of his voice.

Turning around to face him, Buffy’s eyes widened when she realized what she’d said and the fact that she forgot she wasn’t alone in the room. “I’m sorry, baby,” she whispered, offering him a soft smile when she saw the slight pout forming on his lip.

“Why do you keep saying that?”

Letting her smile fade, she glanced at the floor. “Maybe that’s how I feel sometimes,” she murmured, not wanting to see the look on his face.

“Is that what you want?” he asked, looking at the floor, trying to keep his throat from closing with the emotions he was feeling.

“No,” she whispered, feeling the tears spring to her eyes as she shook her head. “No, that’s not what I want at all…I just…”

“Just…what?” he asked, tilting his head to study her as she swiped at the tears on her cheeks. He could feel her pain radiating into him, and it felt as if he was growing weaker by the moment.

“I just know you can’t help me with this,” she murmured, her chin trembling with emotion.

“I’ll always help you,” he whispered, finally closing the distance between them, pulling her into his arms and holding her close.

“The prophecy says I have to kill him, Spike,” she said softly, her fingernails digging into his back as she held onto him, obviously not ready to let go. “Not you…me.”

“Doesn’t say anything about you having help, though,” he replied, feeling a wave of uncertainty pass through her before she slowly looked up at him. Seeing the honesty and the desperate need to help her, Buffy finally smiled as she nodded.

“I guess that’s true.”

* * * * *

“How’s this going to work?” Fred asked, looking from Wesley, who was sitting at the reception counter in the lobby, to Buffy, who was restlessly pacing back and forth, checking her watch every few minutes as she waited for the sun to set.

After resting with Spike for a few hours and spending the remainder of the day sparring with him to be ready for the confrontation, Buffy was getting edgy. She wanted this finished.

“Simple,” she replied, not making contact with anyone in the room as she continued her pacing. “I find him. I kill him. It’s pretty cut and dry.”

Furrowing his brow as he watched her, Spike tilted his head, disturbed by the disassociated tone of her voice. He was tempted to leave his spot against the wall to attempt to talk to her, but he could tell by her rigid stance that she was simply preparing for battle.

And it was really turning him on.

Finally snapping out of her thoughts, Buffy let a small smile pull at her lips as she turned to Spike, feeling the wave of lust that hit her through the claim. Suppressing a smile when he merely smirked at her and arched an eyebrow, Buffy rolled her eyes as she resumed pacing.

Frowning after a moment, she slowly looked around the room, feeling a distinct presence missing.

“Where’s Cordy?”

Seeing everyone look toward Angel’s office, Buffy swallowed hard before taking a deep breath and walking toward the door.

Not bothering to knock, she slowly walked into the small room, shutting the door behind her with a soft click.

“Hi,” she whispered, looking at the woman who, by all rights, was her mother.

Sitting at Angel’s desk, Buffy could see the picture frame in the brunette’s hands as she gently ran a hand over the glass that separated her from the picture of her with the man she loved.

“I used to say that he didn’t photograph well,” Cordy whispered in a choked voice. “Isn’t that silly? He obviously looks good, no matter what the situation is.”

Feeling her heart ache for the other woman, Buffy felt tears come to her eyes, wondering if she could be this graceful and mellow if the situation was changed and someone was prophesized to kill Spike.

No.

She knew she wouldn’t be.

Maybe that was a lack of maturity on her part. Maybe she just wasn’t as adept to hiding her emotions. She knew that Cordelia loved her father more than anything, so it definitely wasn’t a question of that. But then again, Cordy had known about the prophecy for some time. She’d probably been through the denial, anger, and disbelief that any normal human goes through when faced with the death of a loved one.

Now it was just quiet acceptance.

“I’m sorry,” Buffy whispered, fresh tears streaking down her cheeks as she remained huddled next to the door.

Looking over at the young woman, Cordelia offered her a watery smile. “There’s nothing for you to be sorry about,” she said, shaking her head. “Angel knew all about the prophecy. He accepted it. That’s part of the reason he stayed away while you were growing up. He knew that it would be even harder on you if you had to kill a man you were close to.”

Nearly choking on a sob, Buffy’s legs gave out, sending her crashing to the floor as she curled into herself, weeping into her hands.

Feeling herself wrapped in a comforting hug, Buffy was vaguely aware when she was passed to a stronger pair of arms, realizing that Spike had entered the room.

Knowing that he was feeling everything she was, Buffy snuggled closer to him as she cried, trying to give and receive comfort at the same time.

“He knew,” she whispered. “He knew the entire time and I…I just acted like a spoiled rotten brat because my father couldn’t be bothered with me. He was trying to save me from even more pain and I…”

“Shh,” he whispered, nibbling along her neck to soothe her. His mate was distraught and it was affecting him more than he thought possible. “He understood, luv. He knew what he was doing and how you would react.”

Resting her head against his chest and finally relaxing when he wrapped her tightly in his arms, pulling her even closer to him, Buffy was about to respond when the door opened.

Everyone turned to see Wesley standing in front of them with a somber expression on his face.

“It’s time.”

Chapter 39 – Living Among the Dead


It didn’t take long to find him.

Buffy practically had a sixth sense when it came to knowing where her father was. Or more accurately, where Angelus was.

The group was small. Wesley and Spike had insisted on backing her up, but everyone was in agreement that Fred and especially Cordelia should stay at the hotel. It was bad enough that Buffy would have to see her father die at her own hands- she didn’t want that image being the last thing Cordelia ever remembered. Even if he technically wasn’t the man she loved, Buffy knew that Cordy’s last memory of his face shouldn’t be him turning to dust.

Walking into the warehouse, her jaw was set in a firm line as she looked around the open area.

“Looks like someone’s been busy today,” she muttered, double-checking the stake that was tucked in the waistband of her leather pants before hoisting the sword up in a defensive maneuver, waiting for Angelus to jump out at any given moment.

The space had obviously been cleared out fairly recently, leaving a huge open area in the center of the building.

Spike could feel the familiar presence of his grandsire. Looking around, his jaw clenched in frustration as he glanced up at the catwalk. Even in full vampire guise, he couldn’t pinpoint the exact location.

With a heavy sigh, Buffy walked to the center of the room, standing in the dim light, giving herself a slight advantage that he wouldn’t be able to sneak up behind her, out of the shadows.

“Come out, come out, wherever you are,” she called in a sing-song voice, giving the sword a good twirl as she looked upward, not willing to let him sense how unnerved she really was.

Whirling around when he heard a soft thump behind him, Spike snarled as he watched a two-by-four connect with Wesley’s head, knocking the other man unconscious.

“Should have known you would have brought reinforcements,” Angelus said, shaking his head with a slight smile as Spike approached him. “Tsk, tsk, tsk…should have known I couldn’t trust you around her.”

Not giving Spike a chance to comprehend what he was saying, Angelus pulled out a small crossbow, aiming it at Spike’s heart and firing.

“No!” Buffy screamed, running for the two vampires, feeling as if she was going to faint from relief when she saw Spike turn, letting the arrow embed in his shoulder.

Growling as he pulled the arrow from his shoulder, he flung it back at the older man, letting a smile cross his face when it stabbed him in the stomach.

“You should know better than to give me a weapon,” he said in a low voice.

All Buffy saw was a blur as Angelus jerked the arrow of his stomach and bent down to pick up the sword Wesley brought with him. Letting it slice through the air at Spike’s neck, Buffy immediately planted herself in front of her mate, stopping the sword with her own.

“Spike, get out of here!” she yelled, using all of her strength to push Angelus back, trying to retain a semblance of control.

“No!” he yelled back.

“Better listen to her, Willie,” Angelus said with a smile. “She’s having to fight defensively to keep you safe, and I gotta tell you, I really want to see what she’s got.”

Growling possessively, Spike dove for his grandsire, vaguely aware of the sword slicing along his stomach as he tackled him.

“Spike!”

Punching the other man, Spike heard Buffy’s frantic cry but didn’t dare take his eyes off Angelus.

Wondering why the older vampire wasn’t fighting back, he was mildly surprised when he found himself hurtling through the air, landing on his back on the hard cement floor.

Jumping up with a roar, Angelus stalked toward Buffy, seeing the shocked look on his face. For a split-second, she thought that this was her father, merely walking toward her to reprimand her about something. It wasn’t until he’d angrily grabbed her hair and forcefully jerked her head to the side that she remembered who she was truly dealing with.

Struggling against his hold, Buffy cried out in pain when his other hand twisted her wrist, forcing her to drop the sword with a clatter.

Inwardly feeling a tremor of fear pass through the woman he loved, Spike jumped up to a standing position, running toward the couple in the center of the room. Surprised when Angelus let go of Buffy’s wrist to spin around and slam his fist into Spike’s jaw, the blonde vampire quickly righted himself, freezing in terror when he saw that Angelus could snap Buffy’s neck at any moment.

Panting as she glanced at Spike, Buffy tried to control her emotions, for his sake. She knew that he wanted nothing more than to get to her, but if anything happened to him, she wouldn’t be able to live with herself. Briefly closing her eyes, she waited for the final blow that would come at any moment, marveling to herself that not all prophecies were right.

Gritting her teeth when Angelus still didn’t make a move, Buffy turned her eyes to his, seeing the anger simmering below the surface.

“You claimed her?” he growled, narrowing his eyes on Spike. “You claimed the woman who’s rightfully mine?”

Seeing her window of opportunity, Buffy spun around, bringing her arm down hard on his elbow, breaking his hold on her.

“Yes,” she replied, delivering a high kick to his head before spinning around and letting her foot connect with his stomach. “After I begged him.”

Reeling back, Angelus snarled as he punched her, knocking Buffy off her feet. Growing irritated when Spike stepped up, the two attacked each other with renewed force, one fighting for a woman he thought rightly belonged to him and no one else, the other fighting for the woman who willingly belonged to him.

“How’s it feel, mate?” Spike asked, smashing his fist into the other man’s nose, feeling sickened by the fact that Angelus wanted Buffy for himself. “Knowing that she chose me. That she wants me!”

“You’ll always be a poor substitute, Spike,” he replied, spitting out a mouthful of blood onto the floor. “That’s all you were to Drusilla. Just a partner to have around when she couldn’t have me. Hell, you couldn’t even have Lucy. She wouldn’t give you the time of day. And Buffy? You just wanted something that was mine. You tried to take something from me since you couldn’t have anyone you really wanted.”

“Never mind the fact that she chose to be with me. Because I love her. And you’re also forgetting one thing,” Spike said.

“What’s that?” Angelus asked with a sadistic smile, gritting his teeth when Spike grabbed him by the shoulders and spun him around to face Buffy.

“Me,” she replied in a deadly tone. Not giving Angelus a chance to react, Buffy slammed a stake into his heart, feeling as if her own heart was shattering with it. Seeing the demon slip into the face of her father before exploding in dust, she felt her body grow weak.

Catching her before she collapsed, Spike held her close as she began to cry. “I’m sorry, luv,” he whispered, stroking her back and running his hands through her hair as she cried.

“I didn’t think it would be this bad,” she murmured against his chest, grateful that he was there to hold her. “Don’t leave me.”

“Never,” he said in a strong voice, cupping her face in his hands to look in her watery eyes. “I love you. I’m never going to leave you.”

* * * * *

Feeling numb as she walked into the hotel, closely followed by Spike and Wesley, who was rubbing the bump on his head, Buffy briefly made eye contact with Fred before walking toward Cordelia.

“Are you okay?” Cordy asked, hugging the younger woman and looking at Spike as he paid close attention to Buffy.

“Could be worse…I guess,” she muttered. “I mean…killing my father, not exactly on my top ten list, but we’re all still here,” she finished, glancing at Spike and Wesley over her shoulder, giving them a soft smile.

“But you’re okay?” Cordelia asked again, looking at Buffy worriedly.

“I will be,” she murmured, blinking back the tears in her eyes as she turned and walked toward Spike, letting him take her pain away for a few brief moments as he held her.

Hearing the sound of the door opening, Buffy sniffled as she pulled away from the comforting arms of her lover, turning to the front of the hotel. Her eyes widened as she gasped in disbelief, unwilling to believe what was right in front of her.

“Angel?” Cordelia whispered, swallowing hard as she took a step toward the man.

A brilliant smile lit up his face as Cordy ran for him. Lifting her in his arms, he eagerly kissed her, spinning them in a slow circle.

Buffy watched in stunned silence with everyone else, her lips parted in astonishment.

“It’s impossible,” she murmured, reaching for Spike’s hand and squeezing it for reassurance.

“Yeah,” Angel said with a smile, approaching his daughter. “It is. But it’s true.”

Trembling as he closed the distance between them, Buffy felt more tears spill over, looking into the warm brown eyes of her father, nearly breaking Spike’s hand with the pressure she had on it as she hugged her father.

“I’m sorry, Buffy,” he whispered with a remorseful expression.

“This…it’s not happening,” she muttered, shaking her head, seconds before she threw herself into her father’s arms, nearly breaking his bones with the force she was holding him.

“It is,” he said with a slight nod, holding his daughter close. “And I never wanted you to see that side of me…to hear…”

“Don’t worry about it,” she said softly, slowly pulling back to look at him, willing to forget everything that Angelus had said to her as long as her father was back. “But…how?”

“Looks like there was another attachment to the prophecy,” he said with a slight smile, glancing at Wesley and Fred, who were as stunned as everyone else.

“What attachment?” Wes asked, looking at him in disbelief.

“The prophecy that mentioned the daughter will kill the father…it was the first part of a larger one…”

“The Shanshu, of course,” Wesley said in understanding as if he should have known it all along. “The cycle- you get to live until you die. To die and to live again. The vampire with a soul, once he fulfills his destiny, will Shanshu…become human…it’s his reward. And turning into Angelus was the final test?”

“It was,” he said softly.

“You’re human?” Cordelia and Buffy asked at the same time.

Angel smiled at his daughter before turning to the woman he loved and embracing her again. “I am.”

Walking back to Spike, Buffy snuggled closer to him, Her sadness seemed to evaporate as he held her, watching her father so happy with the woman that he was meant to be with.

Glancing around the room, Spike pressed a kiss to Buffy’s temple, smiling at her when she looked up at him with a blissful expression.

“Thank you,” she whispered, closing her eyes when his lips brushed over hers in a tender kiss.

“For what, Goldilocks?” he asked, running his hand over her hair.

“For being here. For being supportive guy.”

“That’s what I’m here for,” he said with a smile. “Among other things.”

Giggling quietly, Buffy rested her head against his chest, smiling as Wesley and Fred slipped out the door.

“Spike?” she whispered, not wanting to disturb the other couple.

“Yeah, pet?”

“Let’s go home.”

“Sounds good,” he murmured, gently biting the mark on her neck, smiling against her skin when she shivered. “I think it’s about time we started on our own ‘happily ever after’.”

Chapter 40 – End of the Beginning


Looking into his eyes as she pulled him down to lie on top of her, Buffy felt her breathing escalate as her eyelids fluttered shut.

Spike suppressed a groan of desire when his bare skin came in contact with hers, his body sliding sensuously along hers while she moaned, arching her back to encourage his movements. Meeting her lips in a tender kiss, he smiled against her lips when she cried out in pleasure, digging her fingernails into his back.

Slowly pushing into her until their hips met, Spike pulled back to look at her clouded eyes, seeing the love and devotion shining in them.

“You’re mine, Buffy,” he whispered, slowly pumping in and out of her.

“Always,” she gasped, closing her eyes when his blunt teeth gently bit along her neck, sending chills of anticipation racing through her.

Placing her feet on the firm mattress, Buffy forcefully thrust her hips against his, craving his touch while he continued to tease her with the nibbling bites along her neck. Sinking her teeth into his shoulder, she smiled against his skin when a low, rumbling growl of approval reverberated to her.

“I need you,” she whispered frantically.

“You have me,” he said in a soft whisper, sending more chills running through her when she felt his cool breath on her ear.

“Spike, please…”

“You want me to bite you?” he asked, suppressing a smile as her inner muscles clenched around his cock in anticipation.

“You know I do,” she whispered, pulling his head down to her neck and trembling when she instinctively sensed the demon visage come over his face.

Trailing his tongue over his previous mark, Spike felt her shiver beneath him, feeling the need in her body before gently letting his fangs slice into her neck, smiling against her skin when she screamed out her release, letting her muscles clench around him as stars burst in front of her eyes.

Unable to hold off any longer as the blood flowed onto his tongue, Spike plunged into her welcoming body, pulling his lips away from her neck with a roar as he practically exploded inside of her.

Feeling her hands lose their hold and fall to the mattress, Spike smiled against her neck as he involuntarily breathed against her skin.

“That was amazing,” he whispered, pulling back to look at her. “You’re amazing.”

“You got the job done yourself,” she said with a smile, struggling to keep her eyes open as the exhaustion seemed to weigh her down.

Gritting his teeth as he pulled out of her, Spike reluctantly left the warmth of her body. Immediately rolling them so Buffy could snuggle against his chest, he let his eyes close as he absentmindedly ran his hand through her hair.

“This home now, pet?” he asked after a quiet moment.

Glancing around her bedroom, Buffy bit her lip. She liked Las Vegas. She really did, but it no longer felt like home. They had only been back for a day, but it didn’t feel the same.

Maybe that was because she never felt at home anymore unless she was in Spike’s arms. Maybe it was because he had claimed her in Los Angeles and now she felt an undeniable pull back to the same place. Of course, that could be because her family was so close to the area. It had been hard enough leaving her newly human father and coming back here.

“I don’t know what this is,” she said after a moment. “I love it here, but…”

“You’re young,” he murmured, kissing the top of her head. “You want to see the world.”

“Yeah,” she whispered. “It would be nice. But we have a lifetime to do that, right?” she asked, turning to look at him with a questioning gaze.

“That we do,” he replied, offering her a soft smile as he caressed her cheek.

“Ever seen Paris at night?” she asked with a teasing grin.

“Not in this lifetime,” he said with a chuckle. “Is that your not-so-subtle way of asking me to take you to Paris?”

Raising an eyebrow, Buffy sat up, watching as he raised an eyebrow, appraising her bare torso as the sheet slid down her body, leaving her hair to fall over her shoulder in such a way that he felt himself growing hard again.

“I don’t need to ask you to take me anywhere,” she said, irritation making its way into her voice as her independent nature came through. “If I want to go to Paris, I can be on the next plane out.”

“Not without me, you couldn’t,” Spike replied, putting one arm behind his head, unashamedly perusing her naked body as he spoke.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” she asked, obviously becoming more frustrated with him.

“It means,” he began, quickly reaching out and jerking her arm that was bracing her body out from under her, sending her crashing against his chest. “That you are my mate, Buffy. You don’t go anywhere without me.”

Staring into his serious eyes, Buffy finally let her expression soften. “I know that,” she whispered with a gentle smile, relaxing when she saw his eyes become clear as the minimal anger receded. “I was just saying…”

“That you don’t need me to protect you,” he filled in with a smile. “I understand. I don’t need to protect you, Buffy, but I am going to be with you.”

“That’s fine with me,” she murmured, laying her head down on his strong chest and closing her eyes in exhaustion. “That was the point of the whole claimy thing,” she whispered sleepily.

“Wasn’t the only point, Goldilocks,” he replied, tugging on her hair in amusement.

“I know,” she said with a slight yawn. “But having you around for eternity could have its advantages.”

Hearing the smile in her voice, Spike gently kissed the top of her head before replying, “I feel the same way. After all, having you could have its advantages, too.”

“How so?” she asked, turning toward him with a curious expression.

“Well, let’s see,” Spike replied, looking up at the ceiling as he pretended to think before turning back to her. “Having the woman I love with me forever…not a bad deal. Especially when she’s hot.”

Giggling softly, Buffy brushed her lips against his in a tender, loving kiss.

“Not to mention the biggest advantage,” he continued with a teasing smile. “The fact that you’re the daughter of prophecy.”

Chuckling when she swatted his chest, Spike watched as Buffy giggled and rolled her eyes, shaking her head slightly.

“You know…I really, really hate that phrase.”





THE END…




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A/N That’s not all folks. Part 2 will be posted in the near future…if anyone is interested. I’m going to try and finish Criminal Games and then I’ll work on the second part. Thank you so much for all of the reviews and support! You all are so wonderful!





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