Grey Gardens of Shadowed Rapture - Complete

http://vampires-kiss.net/order/home.htm

Author: Holly (hangingavarice@hotmail.com)

Rating: Up through NC-17 (For language, violence, and adult situations)

Timeline: Season 4 post ‘Something Blue’ of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Season 1 post ‘Celestial Navigation’ of The West Wing

Summary: A rogue Slayer is on the run.  As the Scoobies follow reports and sightings that lead them further into the Old South, President Bartlet prepares for a speech in Vicksburg while Deputy Chief of Staff Josh Lyman is assigned a project that will unwittingly change his life.

 

Chapter One

 

It was Friday night at the Bronze, and the entire town had decided to celebrate. Not for any particularities, of course. In Sunnydale, excuses were never of the needed when it came to putting on one’s party hat. Being alive was miracle enough. And if you survived the week: even better.

And what a week it had been. A long, eventful, and magically disastrous trial of endless excursion.

It amazed him that the people of this town readily refused the helping hand of change. He had seen it all; watched as people grew older, fatter, balder, lost their ambitions to the wayward understanding of life’s petty limitations. Granted, Spike hadn’t been in Sunnydale long enough to successfully diagnose the pragmatics of everyone’s inability to cope with their various obstacles and revelations; he simple knew what he knew based on all he had seen. Disappearing for twenty years at a time and requiring no help pinpointing old faces at the same old hangouts. People who pissed away years of their life trying to find their life.

The Bronze would become that someday. They all inevitably did. But for now, it was as it always was. A place of bright lights and bad music. Good food of little food value. The place where the lonesome and the trendy collided, shoving their differences aside to dance the night away as though the world would end come morning.

Spike snickered at that and tossed his head back with a drink. Bloody typical. These wankers didn’t know what they had; didn’t know what it was like to lose the one thing that demanded dependency. The one thing taken for granted as years of idle waste ticked by to little extent of anything else. He did. He knew all too well. And unlike everyone else here, he didn’t have a choice.

There was nothing—condemned by technology to stand at the bloody sidelines while the whole world passed in front of him. He had endured as much as any vampire could vouch for, and it wasn’t getting any easier. Of course it wouldn’t get easier. Why, that would be…well, easy.

Especially with what had happened recently. Happened and commanded every waking thought thereafter.

Over the smoke-filled crowd, his leering gaze wandered; landing, as always, on her. And while logic told him there was no sagacity in tormenting himself, his sense of masochism evidently disagreed. And no one liked logic these days. He was merely bending himself over to accommodate the rest of society, and he was doing a hell of a job.

And where had it gotten him? Abso-fucking-lutely nowhere. To the point where he couldn’t look but to see her face. Couldn’t close his eyes but to have hers haunt him, even if they were separated by miles.

Nights were plagued with the thought of her.

Ah hell, who was he kidding? Days, too.

That wasn’t even the worst of it. It was wrong. It was so bloody wrong. At first, he had given way to the possibility that the chip in his head had finally gone over the proverbial and not-so edge and was finally giving him delusions of grandeur. And sure, it wasn’t as though he hadn’t thought about it. Dreamt about it. Fantasized a thousand or more times…but such yearnings had always remained void of sentiment. Of any sort of feeling. The type of castles in the sky that were always plagued with sieges and bloodshed. The way castles were supposed to be. Not like this.

There wasn’t supposed to be feeling. And the notion disturbed him.

Rightly so.

It was all Red’s fault, he decided. Red and that bloody stupid spell of hers. After all, a man whom had never known the touch of such radiance similarly couldn’t know to miss it, right?

Spike’s eyes drank her in as she moved, and he felt all sorts of naughty parts spring to life.

Oh yeah. Definitely Red’s fault. He was killing himself over and over again for something so wrong. So deliciously wrong. And there she was; moving provocatively, grinding against mindless co-eds; completely oblivious to the torment she was willing upon him. Or perhaps not. Perhaps she knew she was driving him out of his mind and the entire spectacle on the floor was to perpetuate his torture.

Fucking brutal bitch.

Spike snickered dryly to himself, lifting his glass to his lips. Rupert would be expecting him soon. Not for any reason other than the tedium of habit. Wasn’t that perfect? He was William the Bloody, goddammit. The Slayer of Slayers, of the Order of Aurelius, and he was shacking it up with the Slayer’s fucking Watcher, of all things.

Beggars can’t be choosers.

Better to finish up here and head back, regardless of temperament. After all, it had been he who came to them in the first place. Furthermore, thanks to Red’s spell and the Slayer’s perpetual mission in life to make his existence miserable in any way she could, there was no use in trying to escape. She would find him. She always did.

She did, and he had Buffy taste in his mouth as a result.

The Slayer.

Bane of his existence.

God, she moves like it’s nobody’s business.

He missed the dance most of all. With her. With anyone, really, but mostly with her. He had never known anyone who could make it all so…interesting. She moved like she was made for him. As though the dance commanded everything she was, whether or not they were entangled with each other.

Now she danced by herself. Herself and with the occasional vamp. Not him. Never him. His days of dancing with her were over.

Spike smiled wryly to himself and raised his glass to his lips again for one last gulp before he consigned it over the balcony railing. There was no use in wasting time here. Here where everything, even getting the girl, was nothing more than a lonely spectator sport. And while fighting remained an improbability, he could at least get his rocks off by studying blokes who were more miserable than he was.

Buffy was moving in ways that would embarrass Madonna. Yes, it was definitely time to leave.

With some difficulty, he tore his eyes away from her and made a steady path down the stairs while shuffling through his duster to find his cigarettes. He had named this carton Xander. The boy was never the picture of demon tolerance, but this week had been especially patronizing, and thus he exacted revenge the best way he could. The only way he could without hurting the Slayer: he named a pack of ciggies after him and imagined that every one smoked signified a portion to a horrible death.

Sad thing was, it helped. Not tonight.

Not with Buffy out there giving every willing body a free show. Every willing body excluding his own.

He had to get out.

It would be his misfortune to run into the very object of his desires as he tried to make his way toward the exit. They collided rather brashly—her scent smacking him with sudden brevity that it had lacked while separated by an entire room. And—ohhh—there she was. Right there with him. Against him. If he thought the sight of her was torture, the feel of her body pressed against his had to be his ultimate undoing.

Not. Fucking. Fair.

The collusion had been an accident, he knew. Something he wouldn’t have cheated himself out of for anything. Still, in such circumstances, it served better to blame her.

“Oi! Watch where you’re goin’, luv.” His eyes danced over her body without inhibition. Being this close to her, despite the further of his torment, did have certain advantages. “Wouldn’t want some nasty creature to get too up close an’ personal, would you?”

There was a long pause; Buffy blinked at him in confusion. It was a look he was accustomed to. A sort of bland ‘and you’re talking to me, why’ flavor that had grown old too fast. The same he doubted she would tire of anytime soon.

And then…no. It wasn’t. Something was different. She was different.

It only lasted a second. When she gave up trying to place him, she threw her hands in the air and backed off with a dismissive snicker. “Sorry, buddy,” she said. And that was that. She had turned before he could even attempt to keep up and was on her way to the bar without another word.

Spike stood dumbfound for a minute.

What?

“What?” He pivoted sharply at the heel, frowning his frustration. God, she was the most evasive little bitch in the world. “So, that’s it? No quibble? No jibe? No witty poke at my manhood?”

Oh how he wished he hadn’t mentioned his manhood. Said manhood, once acknowledged, practically leapt at the opportunity to be noticed by a coveted female. More precisely, the Slayer. Buffy.

Buffy.

It was twisted. It was unnatural. It just plain sucked. And yet here he was, upping his self-torment for no other peculiarity outstretching the region of boredom.

Dru’s last fucking hurrah. Well done, sweetheart. I’m sure we’ll catch a laugh ‘bout this in Hell.

Buffy turned to him slowly, cocking a brow of expectation. “What do you want?” she snapped. “A medal for copping a feel? Sorry, Junior. Not interested. Why don’t you go annoy someone else?”

It was an unprecedented occasion when Spike found himself whiplashed to the other side of the world by the hand of surprise alone. For a long minute, all he could do was stare in blank wonder. Had his heart been in such condition, he was sure it would have stopped. As though all authority that came with vampirehood was stropped and he was nothing more than a child caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

Granted, if there was one person who could render him so, it was the Slayer.

More specifically, Buffy Summers.

But he wouldn’t admit that. Not in her lifetime. Not in the next twelve.

“What?”

“Well, really,” she continued, shrugging as though it made little difference. There was irritation behind her eyes, but it was far placed from the customary ‘Oh God, it’s you’ glare that he had too-often found himself on the receiving end of this month. “I got plenty of better things to do than hang here and warm your hands, Snappy. So move along before I take you over my knee—and trust me, that’s something you don’t want.”

Judging by the feral in her eye, Spike was inclined to agree with her. Even if kink was something he was known for appreciating.

But this was different. It was wrong. Something was very wrong. While he was accustomed to being at the bad end of the Slayer’s puns, she had never been so forward in her insinuations. Never come close to acknowledging the attraction that had been there from the beginning. Oh no. Wouldn’t that be telling?

It was wrong. Something was wrong. And it took less than two seconds to pinpoint.

It wasn’t Buffy.

The vampire’s eyes narrowed. Either it wasn’t Buffy, or she was under some wonky spell; and judging by her ever-so wise selection of friends, he wasn’t too hasty to rule out option number two. But one could never be too careful, especially when one was toothless in a hell-town with Slayers and all sorts of other anti-demon yuppies running around, so he relaxed and exhaled deeply. Better to play it cool and get to the bottom than suffer Wrath O’Slayer next time they ran into each other.

Though hopefully, his cock pleaded, not literally.

“You feelin’ all right, Slayer?” he drawled, voice dripping with condescension. He realized the next second that he had never found his cigarettes and he moved to rectify that immediately. “You’re lookin’ a li’l pale. What’s wrong? Life got you down? Run out of my friends to kill?”

A typical Buffy statement would have been one of the following:

“Shut up, Spike.”

“Why are you still here?”

“Since when do you have friends? Did I miss that memo?”

This Buffy, however, reflected none of her usual hostility. She stared at him for a few blank seconds before realizing that, yes, he had made mention to her line of work. Said mention likely meant that he was on the in of the secrets of vampirehood. And hey, come to think of it, he did look a little pale for a hot guy of the Southern-Californian climate-persuasion.

However, whatever lapse she suffered, she made up for admirably. She shimmied her hips a bit before resting her hands against them, quirking a brow at the blatant misdirection of his attention. “You’re a vampire,” she stated obviously.

Oh yeah. Definitely of the not right.

And Spike, not being one for patience, decided to stop playing along. This was ridiculous.

“What the bleeding hell has gotten into you, Slayer?” he demanded, tossing the unlit ciggie to the ground without much thought. Bollocks. “Did the bleach finally go to your head?” His eyes followed to her hair and he smothered a chuckle. “Knew it was eventual.”

“And who exactly are you to be talking?”

That one was a walk-in. He had opened the door and walked right in. Which was fine. He wasn’t the one undergoing an identity crisis.

“Right. Make all the jokes you want. Jus’ answer me this.” He cocked his head to the side with a patronizing glare. “You remember my name?”

The look she gave him in turn was a near-Buffy look, but no cigar. “Name?” she retorted. “What? I don’t just call you Vampire? Well, consider yourself in sector of special treatment. Happy? Now get out of my way.”

That was it. That pinched it. This girl was in Buffy’s body, but she wasn’t Buffy.

Even in the wonkiest of spells, he wagered Willow wouldn’t be daft enough to make her victims forget essentials like names.

At least, not intentionally.

Unless Buffy had asked her to do a spell to make her forget the whole ‘engagement’ thing, and really, he wouldn’t put it past her.

But a bloke never could be too sure.

Thus Spike did something that some might deem colossally stupid; he stepped forward and grasped the small blonde by the arm, effectively catching her off guard even if it wasn’t the strongest game plan. She fumbled awkwardly against him and the look that crossed her eyes could make coffee nervous. And if the vampire that presumed to be so bold had any sense about him at all, he would have released her at once and stepped back to give her much-needed space.

This vampire did not. At least, and especially, when matters concerned the Slayer.

His Slayer.

“You might think you can fool the Scoobs, luv,” he told her lowly, eyes taking full advantage at the eagle view his grasp on her allowed. This Buffy was strong, yes, but she shivered against him all the same. Looked at him with something that was not quite disgust. As though she was lost and he was the one that would help her back on her way. The prospect was rightly laughable, but that didn’t mean his anatomy reacted unfavorably. “But the vamps in this town…they know the Slayer. They’re made to. Whatever you’re playin’ at’s not gonna swing.” His gaze dropped to her mouth. “You sure you know what you’re doin’?”

A few heated seconds pressed between them. She watched him closely without really looking at him. Trying to place him without making a true effort. And for the briefest instant, she reflected the lost gaze of a rabbit caught in headlights. It only lasted a minute, of course. Whoever was steering Buffy—or regardless of whatever wonky spell she was under—knew the true Slayer enough to emphasize her status and reap it for all its advantages. From uncertain and hesitant one minute to manipulative and elusively seductive the next; she switched shoes without bothering to check what she was wearing.

And she did so admirably.

Thus Spike’s eyes nearly boggled outside his head when he felt her press against him in a matter of guarded intimacy, the look crossing her face suggesting nothing more than what he had been denying he wanted ever since Red’s spell came to terms. Good God, this was not supposed to be happening. His own confidence abandoned him without much persuasion, and he was left an unsure stuttering shell of a confused vampire. He was unwilling to play until he knew where exactly the pawns were, and what losing the game would cost.

It was his bad luck, in that regard, that Buffy decided she didn’t want to waste time with dawdlers. Oh, no. Something primal had crossed her eyes, and she wasn’t going to let him walk until she had what she wanted.

And at the moment, it seemed that what she wanted was him.

Oh bloody hell.

This had to be dream. Spell or no spell, Buffy could not want him like this.

Honey, we need to talk about the invitations. Now, do you wanna be William the Bloody, or just Spike?

Okay, so, Buffy couldn’t want him like this twice in one week—spell or no spell.

“Oh, come on,” she was saying; rubbing provocatively against him in time to the incredibly judicious song the band was playing. Bollocks, there were nights he was sure the Powers set things up with the sole purpose of fucking with his head. “You can’t tell me you haven’t thought about it…once or twice?”

Another three seconds and she was going to be bent over the bar counter.

For whatever reason, that thought brought logistics screaming back, red flags and all. The vampire’s eyes widened in horror and his hands came up with diplomacy. “Slayer,” he growled. “This ‘s me, right? Spike. You remember me, don’cha? You better, ‘cause you’ve all people oughta know I don’ start somethin’ without finishin’ it.”

His words lent her pause and she pulled back just a hair. His body cried in protest at the loss.

“Spike,” she said a minute later, as though testing the sound of his name on her tongue. “Spike. William the Bloody, jonesing for the Slayer. Of all the fucking irony. I kinda love this town.”

Jonesing? Was he that bloody obvious?

Well you are practically panting down her top, mate.

“What? Are you off your bird?”

Buffy shook her head, amazingly self-confident. “Nope. I really don’t think so.”

“You’ve got some nerve—”

“And you’ve got some wood.” And the next minute, the world came crumbling down around him. Her small hand reached for his cock and squeezed him tantalizingly through his jeans, nearly bringing him to his knees with nothing else. Shock willed his body frozen, but he could not stop the long-winded moan of pleasure from rushing through his lips. “Ohhh…big boy.”

“Slayer—”

She squeezed him tighter. So tight it bordered on pain. But, oh, pain was delicious. “My name,” she spat. “Say it.”

No need to ask him twice. “Buffy!”

A sadistic smile drew across her face. “You’ve wanted me for a long time, haven’t you, Spike?”

“God…”

“Right sentiment.” Another agonizing squeeze. He was panting needlessly but could not stop. “Wrong answer. Care to try again?”

“Yes!” The word hissed through his teeth; a dirty word for what it meant for him. For the love of everything, he couldn’t tell if he wanted to fuck her or kill her at the moment. Vampires were known for perversions in the bedroom, but he was more than a vampire. He was William the Bloody. He was one of those vamps that new vamps looked up to. And yes, since his breakup with Drusilla, he had been known to take a trollop or two to bed—but he never conceded the high ground. It was about control. About who had it. And right now, Buffy had it. Buffy had it in spades. His desire for her was fogging his senses, but anger in these situations was an overwhelming ally. And he knew still that she was not in her right mind. Buffy, standing in the middle of the crowded Bronze, grasping his cock? Definitely something wrong.

But her grip on him tightened, and he suddenly wondered why he cared at all.

Her scent had neared tantalizingly. She was right at his ear, teasing his skin with her teeth. Ooohhh… “I thought so,” she said. “Bet you’ve dreamed of it, right? Of driving hard into me. Dreamed so hard that you came in your sleep. And judging by your enthusiasm…” She clinched the word by dipping her hand below the waistband so that there was nothing separating her fingers from his flesh, and the slight caress nearly had him undone. When she had her first touch, she smiled coquettishly and lowered the zipper so that he sprang fully into her hands, concealed by the propinquity of their bodies and the hazed apathy that surrounded them. “You came a lot. And you should. After all, you know what I could do to you? Your dreams wouldn’t do you justice.”

That was a wager he wouldn’t mind seeing through. But still he said nothing.

“I could ride you at a gallop until your legs buckled and your eyes rolled up,” she whispered, her hand taking cadence up and down his length. Sparks of pleasure coiled his insides, but he didn’t move. He couldn’t. With as much as he wanted her, this was not the way it should be. Buffy was either crazy or under the influence, and he didn’t particularly fancy waking up with a stake in his chest. Thus, he wouldn’t do what his body begged. He wouldn’t. He would wait this out, go tell the Scoobies that their fearless leader had lost her mind, then go home and have a nice long wank.

Regardless of the fact that he had a warm, willing, and very wet Buffy wiggling against him, her hand grasping his erection, and her tongue playing laps under his ear.

Bleeding buggering good-for-nothing…

But he wouldn’t let her win this last over him. This was about more than carnal sins. His scathed pride was on the line, and with everything she had managed to rob him of since returning to this pissant town, he would be damned even more so before she took that as well.

“I've got muscles you couldn’t have dreamed of.” Her thumb brushed against the leaking head of his erection and swirled the moisture she found, pinching when it was at her pleasure and eliciting a long-suffering coo from his anguished body. “I could squeeze you until you pop like warm champagne and you'd beg me to hurt you just a little bit more. Whaddya say, Billy? Wanna take it out for a test-drive? You know how I get when I don’t get a good slay in. All wound up—tighter than a fucking drum. After I’m through with you, you’ll have nothing left to dream about.”

No, mate. Can’t let her win. Can’t—

“Buffy,” he moaned, cursing himself for his weakness and thrusting his hips forward. “Oh God.”

“You’d like to know how my mouth would feel around you, wouldn’t you?”

Just the thought caused his body to propel forward needily. The disgust coiling within his stomach was mounting but lust shoved it aside. There would be time for self-hatred later. Right now…oh god, right now.  “Christ!”

“You’d like me to lap at you. Take you as far in as I could and swallow you up.” She clutched him tighter, scratching her thumbnail over the head of his cock again. “But I wouldn’t. I don’t give like that without getting my own first. You want some, you give some. You’d have to eat me out, Spike. Stick your tongue in me. All the way. I don’t do cheaters.” Her eyes danced maliciously. “But you’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

“Oh Jesus…”

Her hand tightened again. “Wrong. Fucking. Name.”

No point in arguing with the lady.

“Buffy!”

And it was over the next second. He knew it before the scent hit him. Before any of it came to terms. He heard a voice he had never heard before, but the sound of it, the tenor of it, rang so bloody familiar that he didn’t know whether to growl his frustration or weep his relief. Another second, and he would have been a goner.

The voice said nothing spectacular or notably groundbreaking. Just two words. Two words that brought everything to crashing reason.

“You called?”

The Buffy standing right in front of him suddenly caught sight of something over his shoulder, and her eyes went wide. “Perfect,” she hissed.

Spike utilized the opportunity to seize the Slayer’s wrist and pull her against him, twisting her arm until she turned fully in his hold, her back pressed against his chest. It would have been a more menacing grip had his raging predicament not been stabbing her lovely buttocks, but he had bigger things to worry about at present.

More notably, the stunning brunette glaring at the blonde in his grasp. The brunette whose eyes were far too familiar to credit with coincidence.

Even if that didn’t add up at all.

He cocked his head curiously to the side. “Buffy?”

The brunette nodded. “Almost hate to break up this party,” she snapped, “when it appears you two were having so much fun.”

“What can I say?” the Faux-Buffy in his arms replied. “Thought I’d take your boy for a ride tonight. Gotta hand it to you, B. Get a feel of the cold hard between your thighs and you swear off heartbeats for good. Am I missing something, or is this just some sick fetish?”

“You’re disgusting.”

The blonde spitfire shrugged with a coy smile. “Don’t throw stones.”

Buffy made a Buffy-like face of disgust which looked bizarre on the mask she was wearing before her eyes found his again. “Zip up, Spike.”

He had the decency to be embarrassed. After all, she had just caught him with herself doing something in public. Or rather, having something done to him in public, so really—no blame. Though knowing her, she wouldn’t see it that way. “Slayer—”

“Don’t talk. Just do it.”

“Ohh, he’ll like that.” The Faux-Buffy was smiling kittenishly. “This one likes being told what to do.”

Spike sniggered at that, though he astutely did follow the Slayer’s request. Funny how the sound of a zipper being raised could echo across the mass volume of music and the chatter exchange between mindless coeds. “I wasn’—”

“Shut up.”

“Whattaya gonna do, B? I trashed the other one. ‘Less you really like being stuck like this and just wanted a glance at how to really use your body. Spike here really didn’t mind.”

A growl rumbled through his throat; he merely looked at the real Buffy for answers. He was as confused as hell, but that didn’t mean he would step aside and let the mystery-bitch get away with what she had nearly gotten away with. He couldn’t stand people fucking with his head. And his head had been fucked with to the uppermost degree.

“Next time,” the brunette depiction of the Slayer was saying, “don’t pull a stunt like that in public. And really don’t try it on people who have witches for friends. It doesn’t work like that.”

“Oh, is that right?” the Faux-Buffy demanded, struggling a bit in his grasp but not enough to register on the chip. Evidently, whoever was inhabiting his Slayer’s body had not gotten the memo that foretold escaping him would be more than easy if she willed it so. Not that he was complaining. No, the feral in the true Buffy’s eyes only nudged the anger rushing through his own. “And how exactly does it work?”

Another revelation with two simple words. The true Slayer held up a small, seemingly homemade object and offered a patented Buffy smile, cynicism and all. “Like this.”

Though he had absolutely no clue what sort of power Buffy wielded this time, he knew immediately not to take it for granted. Especially when her imposter’s eyes widened and her struggles became more intent. So intent that the chip finally kicked in and he was forced to release her with a long-winded ‘oaf.’ The blonde darted into the crowd—the brunette following sharply. And slowly the lot of them poured in. Giles from the front, crossbow in grasp. Willow and Xander rushing in from the balcony, evidently without arms but he knew that the former had no need for modern weaponry.

He knew all too well.

So the cavalry was here to save the day. Right. That was swell, but bugger all if he was going to stand here. No bitch mucked with his head like that and got away with it—sod the chip, sod bloody everything.

The crowds had parted accommodatingly at the first hint of a scuffle, herding like obedient sheep to their respective sides in hopes of getting a good view. He found Buffy and the imposter facing off in the center of the Bronze. The Watcher was within range, but he knew the old man well enough to acknowledge that the last thing he would do was fire that crossbow unless a diplomatic solution couldn’t be reached.

The Faux-Buffy’s back was to him, though. And he knew an opportunity when he spied one. Thus, without preamble, he leapt forward and seized her by the shoulders, nodding urgently to the Slayer as the chip started to go off.

Pain was a funny thing. He knew it when he felt it. He liked it at times and hated it more than often. The shocks the government’s implant was sending to his brain were more excruciating than any Disney movie Drusilla had forced him to sit through in her delirium. More so than Darla’s relentless torture of him—an activity she had once pursued actively when she became bored. And yet, he held firm. The chip would likely fry his brain and turn his insides into liquid shit, but outrage at the minute refused to waver. He watched through hazed eyes as the real Buffy raced forward and touched the device she held to her imposter’s hand.

Something shook the room and the music came to a definitive standstill. Spike found himself thrown back with the impact, but the body in his arms stopped struggling and rather relaxed against him, as though consigning herself to what he offered. Then she was gone again, leaping after a dashing blaze of Slayer speed.

He tasted blood on his lips.

“Is he gonna be all right?” one shadow asked. One…Red. That was Willow. The little Witch. He focused as well as he could—making out the hazy figures of four surrounding him.

Buffy answered next. Buffy, the real Buffy, in her Buffy voice. He pried even further, desperate to see her Buffy face with her Buffy eyes along with everything else, but his own gaze would not comply. His head was aching into tomorrow and his nose was bleeding fountains. Rational thought was beyond reproach.

“We should get him out of here,” she said. He would have liked to believe there was an ounce of compassion behind her voice, but accredited that to disorientation. “Back to Giles’s.”

“And Faith?”

There was no answer to that. Not that he heard, anyway. Faceless shadows continued conversation, and at some point, he felt arms under his—hoisting him up again. But he wasn’t paying attention. The voices around him had muffled into one sound; the lights blurred into distant nonbeing.

And then there was nothing at all.

Chapter Two

 

 

“Donna!”

 

The bellow was nothing she would not have expected from him, but the fact that she was standing directly behind him did lend itself to worthy aggravation. It had happened times before, of course; after all, when Josh went into work mode—even with her over his shoulder—he seemed to possess the ability to block out everything until he came across something that he didn’t understand.

 

Still, being yelled at when in the room? Not exactly her idea of progress.

 

“Right here. And no, I am not canceling that meeting.”

 

The Deputy Chief of Staff whipped around quickly, eyes bulging as though she had conjured herself at his side out of thin air. “Don’t do that.”

 

“Answer you? Believe me, I’ve tried.”

 

“You need a bell, you know.”

 

“That threat just loses steam every time you bring it up.” She scowled. “And, in case you didn’t hear me, I am not canceling your meeting on the Hill.”

 

It was amusing in that funny-adorable sort of way; watching the face of the third most powerful man in the country crumble as he danced on the edge of a temper-tantrum. This was also not something alien to Josh, and despite her objections, she found the expression endearing. 

 

He’s such a kid.

 

“Why not?” he whined.

 

“Because this will be the third time this week. One lunch isn’t going to kill you.”

 

“Donna, these guys wanna take me out just so they can beat me up over 182 while they know perfectly well that there’s nothing I can nor am willing to do about it.” He shook his head, turning his attention back to a pile of memos that could not go ignored all day.

 

“So you figure just to put it off until the vote is over?”

 

He stared at her blankly. “Well…yeah.”

 

At that, she couldn’t help it. When he was in these moods, Josh was all but begging to be ridiculed. “Aww, are you afraid of the big bad politicians?”

 

“No. I’m afraid of wasting an hour to listen to something I could care less about in loo of doing something that’s, well, productive.” He shook his head. “You can’t let these people slap you around, Donna. Someday they’ll come to terms with the fact that we won and we’re not going anywhere for a while. In the meantime, I’m sure there is actual work to be done around here.” 

 

“Which reminds me—”

 

“You’re canceling that, too. Get back to work.” The words would have sounded clipped coming from of anyone else, but Josh was Josh and she had come to terms with that a long time ago. 

 

She had barely had time to step out of the office before Sam came calling to see if he had a minute.

 

It wasn’t as though he was upset to see him; if anything, Sam among the other high-ranking officials in the West Wing—and he counted Donna in that, whether or not by intent—were of the few people that he could tolerate for extended periods of time. In that regard, he at times considered that he had one of the best jobs in the world. Mostly secure, well-paying, and he genuinely enjoyed the people he worked with. 

 

Josh merely got irritable when things didn’t go his way.

 

“And it never ends…”

 

“Hey,” Sam said in manner of greeting, tapping lightly on the door before stepping inward. “Did you hear about the thing?”

 

“Which thing?”

 

“The Vicksburg thing.”

 

A frown creased the other man’s brow. “When did that become a thing again?”

 

“Charlie told me. It was finalized just this morning.”

 

“Finalized? I didn’t even know we were considering it.”

 

Sam smiled lightly. “Well, I don’t believe we were seriously until the President went to the Residence last night and read a report on the—”

 

Josh held up a hand, eyes falling shut. “Wait. Wait. Are you telling me that we’re going to Vicksburg six months late because of one of the President’s late night whims?”

 

“The Mississippi vote is very important, Josh.”

 

“The Mississippi vote doesn’t come for another three years.” He blinked. “Call me stupid, but doesn’t that mean there are three more chances to make it up?”

 

Donna was suddenly in his line of peripheral vision again; leaning back in her chair to cast a coy, “You’re stupid,” into the room before she returned to work. The interruption was so commonplace that she earned nothing more than a smirk she didn’t see before the men redirected their attention toward each other.

 

“They’ll remember this.”

 

“You think we’d stand to lose seven electoral votes over the Vicksburg thing?”

 

“I think that snubbing them last July was a bad idea, yes.”

 

Josh’s eyes went wide and his voice raised octaves. “We didn’t snub them! There was no snubbing involved! We just had to postpone the trip—”

 

“Indefinitely—”

 

“Indefinitely because of Kuwait. And then by the time that was over, we still had the country to run.” He shook his head. “And since when did we start having a panic attack over seven electoral votes that we could just as easily get from, oh, I dunno…somewhere that doesn’t complain about postponing photo-op events for actual National emergencies?

 

Sam snickered. “And you berated me for selling off entire states. It’s not up for grabs, Josh. The President wants to do this.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Well, because he’s a history buff. And a National Parks buff—”

 

“Really don’t need to remind me about that one.”

 

“And he thinks it would be a good idea to take some media attention away from Leo right now.”

 

Josh blinked stupidly. “We really think that a trip to Hicksville USA for a speech in some town that half the people in this country have never heard of is going to take away from a drugs scandal in the White House?”

 

The other man shrugged. “Every little bit helps. Anyway, it’s really not worth arguing with me about. I think Leo’s going to call a meeting to announce it to everyone before the day’s out.”

 

“When are we leaving?”

 

“Day after tomorrow.”

 

Josh collapsed wearily against his desk. 

 

“Anyway,” Sam said, shaking his head with a small laugh. “Just thought I’d drop by and give you a heads up. Oh.” He stopped at the door as though swayed by an afterthought, twisting in place to face his friend as the other man looked up wearily. “It’s more than just Mississippi’s seven electoral votes. As we found in Texas, making the South angry is not a good thing, especially with a President who’s already not altogether popular down there.”

 

“You’re thinking Domino Effect.”

 

The dark-haired man nodded. “We lose Mississippi, then Louisiana might follow. Then Georgia, Alabama, and South Carolina. Florida, we’re not going to win anyway, and Texas…well…we don’t know what sort of dent we would take, but it might be enough to cancel out the Hoynes pull. Either way, that’s ninety-six electoral votes that we’re looking at. Counting Mississippi brings the grand total to one hundred and three.”

 

There was a moment of silence.

 

“Wow.”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Because of the Vicksburg thing?”

 

“Could be.”

 

Josh nodded slowly. “We shouldn’t piss off the South.”

 

"This is what I’m saying.”

 

“Right.” There was a moment of composition before he nodded again to himself and turned his gaze back to the stack of memos that still had not managed to answer themselves. “Right.”

 

“Anyway,” Sam said, heading again for the door. “I’m gonna go back and work on this thing.”

 

“You had to pull up the old speech?”

 

“Yes, but because it’s no longer the Fourth, I’m starting over.” 

 

Josh cracked a grin. “Toby must be on the edge of breaking his window. And in that, can’t say that I blame him. Throw in Leo’s thing and the Mendoza confirmation and you have yourself the eleventh plague. You have to have this done in two days?"

 

“Four. The first day is going to be more of a ‘sightseeing’ excursion.”

 

“And the news just keeps getting better and better…” A frown fell across his face. “What exactly is there to see in Vicksburg, anyway?”

 

“Other than the battlegrounds and the homes? I’ve heard the courthouse is very nice.” He paused as though remembering something. “And I believe one home has a cannonball lodged in the dining room wall. I can have Ginger look up—”

 

“Sam…go back to your office.”

 

There was a nod of consent. “Right.”

 

The ever-revolving door to Josh’s workplace did not disappoint. There were some days, more than often, when he swore the staffers tag teamed who would interrupt him next. Today seemed to be solely in the hands of the Deputy Communications Director and Donna—not really a surprise in any regard. They again met in the doorway, nodded and exchanged civilities, and had effectively swapped places in all of ten seconds.

 

“Leo wants to see you,” his assistant told him as she added another memo to his desk. 

 

That much was to be expected. “Okay.”

 

And, as always, it couldn’t be left at that. Not that he would have it any other way. Oh no. There were days—quite a few of them—that bantering with Donna served as his only means of continued existence.

 

“So, we’re going to Vicksburg?”

 

“Looks like.”

 

“Great. There’s this place down there that’s supposed to serve amazing bread pudding.”

 

Josh looked up wearily. “You can’t get bread pudding here?”

 

“Not Vicksburg style, no.” She flashed a grin. “The restaurant I looked up got five stars in their local newspaper.”

 

“That’s probably because it’s the only restaurant.”

 

“Josh!”

 

“Beggars can’t be choosers, Donna. And what were you doing looking up Vicksburg restaurants, anyway?”

 

“It was before when we were going in July.” He merely looked at her. She shrugged. “I wanted to find a place with good bread pudding.”

 

“What is it with you and bread pudding?”

 

“I’m a Wisconsin girl, Josh. We don’t have those kind of delicacies where I come from.”

 

“Yeah, but on the upside, you have teeth where you come from.”

 

Donna shook her head, moving to follow him as he darted out of the room. “You’re impossible.”

 

“That’s why they pay me the big bucks.”

 

“Do you know why Margaret sounded nervous on the phone?”

 

The random change of topic didn’t faze him, either. Such was the way of things.

 

“Because she’s Margaret?” Off her stare, he shrugged, eyes going wide. “I don’t know! Maybe Leo didn’t take a vitamin or something that she set out on his desk."

 

“Margaret sets vitamins on Leo’s desk?”

 

“I don’t know about that, but I do know she brings him coffee regardless of his employment status with the President.” He grinned. “Actually, it might be about the thing. There’s been some noise about the cat.”

 

Donna frowned. “The cat? What cat?”

 

“With any luck, your roommate’s.”

 

“Josh…”

 

“The cat, you know? The one that’s supposed to haunt the Capitol Building?” When he received nothing but a blank look, he shrugged and waved a dismissive hand. “It’s nothing.”

 

“Josh!”

 

“It’s dumb. There’s this cat whose sighting allegedly precedes a time of National tragedy.”

 

“A ghost cat?”

 

“Yeah. It was spotted right before the JFK shooting and around the Watergate scandal—stuff like that.” Josh shrugged. “It was spotted last night by some senile janitor and got an honorable mention in the Post. It’s nothing big, Donna. Don’t worry.”

 

She stared at him. “Don’t worry? Don’t worry? There’s a satanic cat in the Capitol building and you just now tell me about it?”

 

“And one wonders why I would have any such qualms in the first place…” He shook his head as they came to a stop outside Leo’s office, pinching the bridge of his nose. “We don’t talk about it because it’s a non-story, okay? Margaret probably just saw the special on haunted places that they play on the Travel channel or something. We don’t talk about this sort’ve thing here. Grown-ups work in the White House, Donna. This isn’t the place for fairytales.”

 

And then, as always by cue, Sam appeared at the end of the hallway. “Hey! Do either of you have a copy of Cinderella by the Brothers Grimm lying around anywhere?”

 

Josh looked up wryly. Anywhere else, he would have asked, but nothing was off the table where they lived and worked. Especially when it came to speechwriters and their penchant for making use of obscure references. A trait that Sam excelled in to the point of non-redundant redundancy.

 

Though why anyone would think that he had Cinderella just lying about at his disposal was a laughable notion.

 

“You two are in the middle of a thing,” the man decided with a nod. “Okay.” He was gone the next instant, calling for Bonnie to see if she had found anything.

 

With a sigh, Josh glanced back to his assistant and shook his head. “I gotta go meet with Leo now. Get back to work.”

 

Donna nodded but gave him a look that promised they were anything but done with this conversation. The expression was so familiar that he had to smother a smile from making its way to his face. That was one of the things he liked most about her. They had discussions that could outlast Lent.

 

The Chief of Staff was on the phone when he stepped inside, berating the Majority Whip from the sound of things. The call concluded with some rapidity, and Leo obligingly rose to his feet. 

 

“Hey,” the younger man said, shuffling forward to hand him a folder. “From what we’re hearing, 481 is going to sit for the week.”

 

“I figured as much. Take a seat.”

 

Josh arched a brow. “I’m not in trouble, am I?” He didn’t think so, but one could never be too certain.

 

“Nah. I just want to bring you up to speed on a few things.”

 

“This is about Vicksburg, isn’t it?”

 

Leo nodded. “Sam talked to you?”

 

“Well, he told me that we’re going.” He shuffled a bit as though he was anxious to pace. “And about that, are we sure this is a good idea? The country is looking at us for answers about other things—”

 

“My problem, Josh. It’s okay to talk about it.”

 

He didn’t think so, but the pardon was appreciated nonetheless. If anything, he preferred to only make mention of the scandal if something even more incriminating was going to make its way into the news cycle or if he was proposing a way to make a bad situation better through comparison. There were a lot of preconceived notions floating around out there right now about Leo, and every one of them made him sick to his stomach. And at such times, it was infinitely better to ignore them and focus on what really mattered—helping the man that had done so much for him and all of the Senior Staff—just as Leo would help them should the situation be reversed.

 

“Well, what I’m saying is, is it a good idea to go for a photo-op to Mississippi while Congress is looking to issue out the subpoenas?"

 

“The President’s mind has been made up.”

 

“How did this become a thing again?”

 

“The way everything else does.” Leo grinned ironically. “He was reading a report comparing the annual rainfall percentage of several of America’s more tropical states to the numbers of a hundred years ago and—”

 

“Why?”

 

“What?”

 

“Why was the President reading a hundred year old weather report?”

 

The Chief of Staff shrugged. “For fun.”

 

Josh bit back the remark that begged to be released at that. He should have known better than to ask. President Bartlet was nothing if not whimsical. If only he could figure out a way to balance the budget by exercising the same method of research.

 

“Anyway, CJ’s announcing the trip with the next briefing. But that’s not why I got you in here.”

 

“Oh?”

 

“There’s no other way to break it to you, kid, so I’ll just come out and say it. You’re not going to Vicksburg.”

 

A small smile crossed Josh’s face. “Well, I could say I’m sorry but we both know that would be a lie.”

 

Leo nodded grimly before dropping the other shoe. “You’re going about an hour and a half south of Vicksburg to Natchez where you will meet with Senator Davis about 197.”

 

There was a long pause. “What is this? Appease-every-obscure-town-in-Mississippi-week?”

 

“So it would seem.”

 

“Leo, there’s no way 197 will be passed in the House…or the Senate, for that matter.”

 

“I know that, you know that, and Congress knows that. More over, the Senator’s no dummy.”

 

“So I’m meeting with him to, what? Pass the time?”

 

The elder man shrugged. “He wants White House support, Josh.”

 

“Does he really think he’s gonna get it?”

 

“No. And so we’re back to why you’re going to Natchez to meet with him.” Anticipating another interruption, he held up a hand in silent request for cooperation before moving to explain. “Davis is a prominent member of the Democratic party whose ideas are good but still about a hundred and fifty years too soon. Not only does he carry a lot of influence from other respectable Democrats on the Hill, he has done nothing but good things for this administration; we like to keep our friends where they are, since we are not exactly rolling in them at the moment. The very least he’s earned is an hour sit-down so we can explain why supporting 197 publicly, despite our accordance with the idealism behind the bill, is not something the White House is prepared to do.”

 

Josh paused, frowning in confusion. “So basically you want me to make a trip to make sure we still have the support of African Americans in this country even after we bitch slap them back to the nineteenth century?”

 

“Pretty much.”

 

“Why Natchez?”

 

“It’s Davis’s hometown. He’s gonna be there, we’re gonna be there—it works.”

 

“Isn’t he the Senator from Illinois?”

 

“Well, yes, but he had to move if he wanted to be a senator. Chances of him being elected had he run in Mississippi are not exactly favorable statistics.”

 

Josh held up a hand. “Yeah, yeah.” A long sigh hissed through his teeth. “So, I do this and get out of the Vicksburg thing?”

 

“You do this and evade a day of the Vicksburg thing.”

 

“Leo!  You said--”

 

“I know what I said.  That was misleading of me, wasn't it?”  The older man grinned before shrugging his apology.  “It’s the best I can do. At least the President will be through the bulk of the history and National Park trivia.” He smiled wryly. “I’m not going, Josh. The President and I both decided that it’s for the best, and he will need you in my absence.”

 

“Why aren’t you going?”

 

The elder man’s eyes narrowed. “I’ll give you three guesses.”

 

Right. Stupid question. “Yeah.” He paused uncomfortably. “Is that it, then?”

 

“Yeah. Go back to work.”

 

Josh gave a solemn nod and retreated again into the hall. He flashed a grin at Margaret, who was busy phoning everyone she had access to in order to inquire about National Security and the like—anything that could potentially send the economy into another Depression because of the cat spotting. He liked Margaret—she was eccentric, but then, they all were in their own right. Most importantly, she was loyal to Leo, and he needed people who were loyal right now.

 

It was his fortune to be surrounded by them in spades in the workplace. He couldn’t think of a single person who worked in close proximity with the man who held anything but the highest respect for him.

 

When he approached the bullpen, he found Donna surfing the net on local legends about Washington buildings and the like. A grin tickled his lips. So now she had a thing for the week. He couldn’t say the day hadn’t been productive.

 

“Donna?”

 

She looked up.

 

“I need you to book us a couple rooms in a town called Natchez, Mississippi.”

 

“Natchez?”

 

“Don’t worry—they’ll have bread pudding there, I’m sure.”

 

“Why Natchez? What’s going on?”

 

Josh nodded at the phone. “Just do it—I’ll give you the run through in ten.”

 

“Change of plans?”

 

He smiled grimly. “It’s always something.”

 

Always something. Funny how that was quickly becoming the understatement of the year.

 

Chapter Three

 

 

 

The past two days had sucked beyond the telling of it.

 

It was amazing how quickly the fiber of routine could crumble without preliminaries. Without warning. She had been content—molded into the fabric of her self-constructed tedium of world-saveage. And yes, while the repetition of a much-feared same old had danced on the sidelines of outward threat, finding everything she knew challenged without warning removed her from her safety nook.

 

And dammit, she had to have that safety nook.

 

Patrol was slow tonight. Hell, it had been all week. The demons in this town were simply not interested in quelling her boredom anymore. Which was fine except for times like now. With the excitement the week had entailed, she could use an excuse to beat up on something without the added bonus of consequences.

 

Flatly horrible week.

 

Two days. Two whole days since Faith awoke from her coma and resumed her life’s mission of ruining everyone else’s without missing a beat. She awoke from her coma and quickly reminded those that had moved on without her why they were so glad to have been rid of her in the first place. Just looking at her made the world of hurt that had been the previous year come swarming back in sordid detail. Divulging beneath the lines of moving on and reacquainting herself with the very cause of her misery. 

 

Granted, things were better now than they had been even a few weeks ago. The Riley-factor was playing up. Becoming something that Buffy could see herself getting interested in, even if he remained duller than a sack of potatoes. He was nice; there was no denying that. He was a swell guy. Reliable. Sturdy. Overly-friendly even if his sense of humor was bland at times. He was everything she should want, and yes, while she saw qualities in him that she valued in herself, their conversations were lacking and often times seemed forced. He was adorable in his pursuit of her—doing everything a good boy should do for the girl he potentially wants to take home to Iowa and meet the Fam. She liked him, she did. 

 

But that was where it ended. A flirtation based on obligation. He was Joe Normal, and she liked that. She liked him. But she wasn’t interested. She wanted to be interested. He was sincere and intelligent and, unlike Parker, hadn’t made any unwarranted attempts to travel south of the border. He seemed genuinely interested in her as a human being, and she appreciated that more than anything.

 

But God, he wasn’t what she wanted. He was what she was supposed to want. He was everything she was supposed to want. From the boyfriend who was as bad for her as smoking and heroine injections to the potential boyfriend who came with his own bottle of sunscreen and environment-friendly petrol. No transition. No middle ground. No attraction. Not on her side.

 

She had told Willow she was over the bad boy thing. She was lying through her teeth. 

 

Thus the past week up until three days ago had been an exercise of both berating herself for her non-attraction to Riley and getting over the wiggyness that was being Spike’s fiancé for an hour. That was, of course, until Faith decided it was time to wake up and make her life even more complicated. She was fortunate that things hadn’t gotten more out of control than they did that night. Heaven knows what would have happened had the other Slayer been in possession of her body any longer than she was.

 

Well, judging by how she found the little harlot, guessing wasn’t as off the mark as she would have preferred it to be.

 

Buffy’s stomach was in knots in merely considering what she had walked in on. The past two days had consisted of futile attempts of placing it as far from memory as possible. 

 

And the funny thing was—the really funny thing…she couldn’t blame Spike. Not really. If there was anything she had learned about Faith over the past year and a half, it was the undeniable notion that if there were something the Slayer wanted, nothing short of the hand of God would prevent her from acquiring it. In the end, Spike was a guy. More over, he was a vampire. A vampire with a twisted perversion for chasing after Slayers. Buffy was neither naïve nor stupid. The way they had been avoiding each other since Willow’s spell was a clear indicator that the events of said spell had unnerved him just as much as they had her. 

 

What she had witnessed at the Bronze was not a dueled response to mutual attraction. Granted, she had not been there to witness the whole thing, but she did know that Spike had put up a hell of a fight. She had known him long enough to categorize his facial expressions and the way his eyes flared in accordance with his temperament. What she had seen was a clear strain of self-loathing and projected hatred for the woman inhabiting her body. His actions thereafter only supported that claim.

 

Spike might have liked pain, but he was no masochist. And he had held Faith tight enough in his endeavor to make sure that she got hers to knock him into the next world. He had been a wreck. More than his nosebleed and red-rimmed eyes. The Scoobies had hauled him with unspoken empathy back to the comfort of Giles’s duplex, doing their best to ignore his unconscious and near-incoherent rumblings that detailed exactly what he thought of Faith and what he wanted to do to her.

 

And, needless to say, his plans did not involve candles and champagne.

 

Hell, with the way he went on, they would be lucky if they had enough of Faith left to have a funeral.

 

Of course, that was a no-go. Spike was still Chips Ahoy and thus consigned to the dreary world of wishful thinking.

 

He had put her in an awkward position. While her previous hostility for him remained unchallenged, there was something about what had occurred that made her disposition soften in the slightest of degrees. There was more to him and all things previously construed than he ever let on. And she felt bad for him. Bad in a I-Shouldn’t-Feel-Bad-Right-Now way. He was a bloodsucking fiend. He was the bane of her existence. He was every wrong thing in the world times ten. 

 

But he didn’t deserve what had happened. He didn’t deserve Faith making a fool out of him. Stripping him of whatever self-esteem he had left. In that, he was the lesser of two evils. At least Buffy could bank on her unlikely vampiric ally for honesty. For being exactly what he was without ulterior motive. For simply being. With Faith, nothing could ever hope to approach that county line. 

 

Spike was a man—a vampire—and it was common knowledge that both men and vampires often relied on their libidos for thought. Faith had exploited that in the worst of ways. The same way she had with Xander the year before and who-knew-how-many other guys. And from what she had seen, Buffy knew enough to retract the blame from the peroxide pest and cast it on the shoulders of her evil twin. There were no other means to fair.

 

She hadn’t seen the vampire since he had awakened. Out of something she would hesitate to call obligation and never call concern, she had helped Giles and Willow tend to him as best they could without knowing the extent of the chip’s neurological damage. While none of them had any reason to believe the shock had been that severe, there was always a chance. After all, they still didn’t have any idea what they were dealing with. So, between the three of them, they cleaned Spike up well. Washed the blood from his face, doctored the wound across his brow that was acquired god-knows-how, and did their best to make him comfortable.

 

Without him, she wouldn’t have her body back. And Lord knows what all Faith would have done with it.

 

Faith. 

 

That in itself was another lonely matter of delayed acknowledgment. Faith was gone—presumably to Los Angeles—and she had the fun task of bringing her back. The Scoobies had decided unanimously that no matter the crime, last thing the rogue Slayer needed was to be handed over to the Council. The Council was corrupt enough.

 

Buffy did not believe in Faith’s ability to seek redemption through successful rehabilitation, nor did she confer entirely with the group’s consensus. However, she hated the Council with the fire of a thousand suns and blatantly refused to do anything for them that might be considered helpful.

 

They needed to find Faith. And fast.

 

If anything, to get this entire embarrassing ensemble behind them. While absolutely not downsizing the massive in-sideness that Spike was, thorn-wise, she found herself missing his company. Missing it in that ‘I need someone to argue with, now!’ way. 

 

Only that in itself was wrong. Because missing arguing with Spike? Not of the good. Just a testament to how pathetic her life had become. Buffy the Vampire Slayer—banterer of all local demons.

 

Shoot me now.

 

With a sigh of concession, she found herself at an abrupt halt, not seeing the virtue in pursuing a hunt for a perpetual nothing. Other than a few vagrant vamps, the last few patrols had not amounted to much. She continued them out of needful obligation, of course—an outlet to prevent boredom. Xander was constantly with Anya now and Willow was still in the post-Oz-leaving mopeyness. She had attended a few coven meetings of campus witches but found nothing of substance. 

 

The post-graduation drifting was setting in big time. The same she had promised would never happen.

 

Thus, twirling her lonely stake, Buffy turned to head back to Giles’s.

 

Spike was sitting on top of one of the mausoleums, evidently lost in thought. His hair was somewhat ruffled and a cigarette was wedged between his lips. If he had seen her, he did not make it known. Rather, the expression coloring his features reflected what she had been feeling for the past forty-eight hours. Troubled, angered, and unsure exactly what to make of it.

 

Buffy felt an unexpected flush surge across her skin. This was the first time she had seen him since bringing him to Giles. The first time that he had been awake since what had not happened between them.

 

And she couldn’t erase the image of her own hand, navigated by Faith, wheedled inside his trousers. Regardless of his subsequent outrage, there was no mistaking his more immediate urge at that moment. 

 

It was weird knowing that she could have him if she wanted. Not that either one of them were particularly thrilled with the notion, judging by the afterward, but it was weird nonetheless. She didn’t know of two beings on this planet that hated each other with equal fervor. The thought of him in that capacity was something she had never allowed herself, but since the Bronze, it had been an inevitability. Even more so than following Willow’s spell.

 

Because what she had seen at the Bronze was real. The spell was not.

 

Spike’s eyes met hers and held. She didn’t know how long he had sensed her there; a color of both surprise and expectation flooded his gaze. That and something more. Something she had never seen before. And it touched her in a way that was most surprising.

 

She shrugged it off just as easily, but the thought remained with her long after.

 

He looked at her for a long minute. Then stamped out his cigarette, pivoted promptly in his seat, and was strolling in the opposite direction within a blink.

 

The move alone should have persuaded her to turn and follow suit. It was the thing to do. And yet, for whatever reason, her feet remained firmly planted—her feelings almost hurt by his casual negligence. Despite how things were between them, Spike had never before exhibited qualms about speaking with her. Never so blatantly gave her the cold shoulder. And yes, while there was a small part of her rejoicing after the fact, the larger part demanded retribution. After all, it wasn’t as though she had done anything to upset him. His resentment in this was completely unjustified, and she intended to tell him so.

 

However, if it was blood she was after, she pursued its taste in entirely the wrong fashion.

 

“Hey,” she called, not realizing that she had run after him until she paused to catch her breath.

 

The ocean of blue that answered her query was not looking to impress. His eyes sized her in a manner that was nearly condescending, but otherwise left her in her own regard. He hid himself well when he wanted to, and though the notion was all but insulting, she knew enough to recognize a need to hide from his own humiliation rather than own up to what had occurred the other night.

 

It was strange to see him so vulnerable.

 

“Hey,” she said again. “Ummm…I just wanted to…ummm…”

 

His gaze narrowed expectantly.

 

“I…with what happened with Faith…I just…thanks for all your help.” An inner grin tickled her compulsion. The look on his face, if possible, drew even more exposure. As though she would brandish the metaphoric stake to drive that point home, or nail it with a particularly nasty ‘but’ clause. The very thought merited its own brand of humor. “Well, the thing is,” she continued, “I wouldn’t have…she would’ve gotten away if you hadn’t done what you did…and I never got to say thanks. So…thanks.”

 

A lame conclusion to an admittedly lame nod of gratitude, but he did not call her on it. If anything, the measure of awe coloring his features brightened with bewilderment, and he regarded her as though he had never seen her before. As though the light surrounding her persona had altered colors, and she appeared to him a picture of radiance. Someone never before granted access on a plane such as this.

 

Then, slowly, humor reached his eyes. Dry. Disbelieving.

 

“I tell yeh, Slayer,” he drawled. “You are a piece of work. I’ve been waitin’ for days for you to do me in rightly. This is almost a disappointment.”

 

She crossed her arms. “Oh, really?”

 

“Note the ‘almost.’”

 

“I figured.”

 

He shook his head. “You sure you’re…I’ve had a recent unpleasant experience with a chit wearin’ your body but steerin’ someone else’s noggin’. Gotta admit to bein’ slightly gun-shy. The Buffy I know would never lower herself to even acknowledge that I was there, ‘less I was doin’ somethin’ unlawful, an’ she definitely wouldn’t let me walk after what she saw.” Spike took a step forward cautiously. “You all right, luv? Din’t hit your head or stumble out of your skin an’ into someone else’s, right?”

 

“Been there, done that. We try not to air reruns around here too often.” She shrugged with a wry grin. “But, as long as you’ve brought it up…yeah. It was strange and more than a little…well…just…seeing me and…and you…doing that…from a third person point of view? Not of the good. But—”

 

Spike glanced down obligatorily. “Yeh. Buffy—”

 

“I understand. I do.” He was giving her that skeptical look again. “Well, Faith has always had power over men. That’s what she does. She sees something that she wants and she takes it. And if that something just happens to be conscious and with functioning…parts…she makes him want it, too.”

 

A grin tugged at his lips. “‘Functionin’ parts’, eh?”

 

Buffy’s eyes went wide and her cheeks flushed. “I didn’t see anything.”

 

“’Course not. Only naughty Slayers peek.”

 

The cheekiness in his tone was enough to draw her back. The humor dancing in her gaze faded, and she favored him with a peeved glare. “I didn’t see anything because I didn’t look. Didn’t really need to. It was obvious to anyone what you were doing. In public. With my body.”

 

“Ah. Here it comes.” Spike sighed fruitlessly and reached for his cigarettes. “Look, ‘f you think gettin’ felt up by some Buffy-wannabe’s my idea of a good night, you need to do your vamp research, luv. That girl fucked with my head. She—”

 

“I know.”

 

“An’ then—”

 

The Slayer held up a hand. “I know. I didn’t mean to…what you did helped me more than you can know. You didn’t have to. Hell, you’re probably lucky that chip didn’t fry your brain more than it did. And yeah, again with disgust and the…just, blehness that was watching…that. But you did help. So thanks.”

 

He cocked a brow. “You really think it was for you?”

 

“Well—"

 

“Don’ flatter yourself, pet. ‘S a romantic’s notion. I don’ give out migraines for nothin’. That bitch took somethin’ from me; it was only fair that I take somethin’ back.” The look on her face must have drooped in disillusionment, for the shine in his own paled as well as though he had said something he hadn’t meant to. And in a manner that was completely alien to him, he stepped forward with a façade of warmed indulgence and hissed a sigh through his teeth. “Okay,” he said softly. “So ‘s better to have you around than a two-dollar trick that’s only worth half a shilling, ‘f that. Leas’ you’re original, luv…an’ your psychological problems aren’ nearly as difficult to diagnose.”

 

Her eyes narrowed, though she was biting back a grin. “Hardy har har har.”

 

Spike smiled almost softly, sticking his hands in his duster pockets and rolling on the balls of his feet in a manner that was so little-boyish that it nearly reformed the entirety of his countenance. “So…” he began slowly. “What happened with the mega-bitch? She hauled back to Wankers Anonymous, or did Rupert decide to—”

 

“She got away.”

 

His eyes bulged. “What?”

 

"Not for long,” she amended quickly, as though she owed him an explanation. “Faith’s not the type to keep quiet for long. And Will’s working on a location spell.”

 

“Big comfort there, pet.” He favored her with a wry glance. “We all know how productive Red’s spells can be."

 

“Hey!” His eyes narrowed. She balked with a pout and a shrug. “It’s all we have, all right? Besides…she’s getting better.”

 

“I’ll remind you that you said that when she accidentally wipes out western America.”

 

“She should start by sewing your mouth shut.”

 

Spike’s gaze twinkled. “An’ deprive the world of my sexy voice? Never.”

 

“Dream on.”

 

“Don’ have to, luv.” The picture of her flustered discomfort must have been amusing, but he jutted his chin in a manner of unexpected diplomacy and arched a brow. “So, the lot of you haven’t the faintest idea where your rogue bird is headed, I take it.” 

 

Buffy glared at him a minute longer before sighing her concession. “We followed her to the train station where she hopped one to LA.” She shrugged helplessly, kicking at the dirt. “I kicked her off as it was beginning to move, we duked it out, yadda yadda…then she disappeared in mid-fight. Just up and vanished.”

 

Spike snickered. “Pathetic excuse for a Slayer. Bailin’ in the middle of the dance.” He shook his head. “She oughta be ashamed.”

 

“We’re thinking she caught up with the train. It wasn’t too far ahead, and she has the whole super-speed thing going for her.” The young blonde shrugged as they turned on virtually the same beat, heading without say in the direction of Giles’s place. “It won’t be long, though.”

 

“Findin’ her, you mean?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Because of Red’s spell?”

 

She nodded and cast him a narrow look, daring him to poke fun at her blind faith. “Willow can do location spells,” she said. “She has before…without nasty side effects or repercussions."

 

“Breakin’ my dainty heart, luv.”

 

“Truth hurts, don’t it?”

 

He smirked. “’F you’re suggestin’ that spell was at all fun for me, you’re off your bird. Trust me, Slayer, this is one vamp whose list of hobbies far exceeds playin’ tonsil hockey with one of Angel’s hand-me-downs.”

 

The air went still; Buffy’s feet dragging her to a halt, her gaze widening with shades of angered hurt. For the curse that filled the air, it wasn’t difficult to decipher Spike’s own regret, but it was too late to take it back. Creatures like him often went for the kill, no matter whom he hurt in the process. And, as always, if it was her—bonus.

 

The look in his eyes vouched for the opposite, but she had long ago given up reading people based off expressionism alone.

 

“Look,” he said as she opened her mouth to voice her deserved and undoubtedly nasty rebuttal. “That was outta line, but you weren’ exactly buildin’ me up, buttercup. Can’t help it ‘f the hide’s still sore.” He glanced to the ground before she could reply. “So you an’ the merry lot are off to Los Angeles? Innit…oh what’s the word…opportune?”

 

If possible, her eyes darkened. “This has nothing to do with Angel.”

 

“But you’ve called him, haven’t you? Seems the only humane thing to do…what, with a wacked out Slayer on the loose.” He stepped forward, scrutinizing her to uncomfortable degrees. “’Specially ‘f the bird’s headed in his direction an’ has the track record that the lot of you talked about nonstop while playin’ nursemaid to the sick Big Bad.”

 

“You were awake?”

 

He shrugged. “Drifted in an’ out.”

 

“You’re lucky that chip didn’t fry your brain, you know.”

 

“An’ you care, why?”

 

She shifted awkwardly. “I don’t. I’m just saying.” A pause. “And yeah, we’ve called Angel. Just to let him know. But believe me, after the iciness of our last meeting, he wasn’t exactly happy to hear from me.”

 

“Nothin’ worth sheddin’ tears over.” Spike expelled a deep breath. “Look, Slayer, not that I don’ appreciate the sudden an’ much unexpected warm front comin’ from your usual frosty self, but what’s goin’ on? You’re actin’ as though what happened the other night din’t happen—or worse.” He frowned and took another step forward, subconsciously setting them on their way again. “Red din’t pull an anti-bitchy spell on you, did she?”

 

She rolled her eyes. “I swear, you’re the only person in the world who would object to not fighting.”

 

“Only ‘cause I know that I’m gonna get the shit end of this deal whenever you come to your bleedin’ senses.” He shook his head. “I don’ enjoy bein’ your personal punchin’ bag, but at leas’ I know where I stand there. Buffy, you know what you walked in on the other night, right? A bird dressed in your body with her—”

 

“I know. I know!” She shuddered. “Yes—I am majorly wigged and…grossed out…and eww! And yes, I did consider swathing my hand in alcohol to rid my skin from any Spike-related impressions. And—”

 

“What? Don’ tell me the Slayer is afraid of cooties.”

 

“But you didn’t do anything…that I should…” Buffy sighed and combed a hand through her hair. “You didn’t do anything. That’s the point. You didn’t take her up on her offer and…do things with my body that I would have had to stake you for. And that’s the thing. You’re a guy—more over—you’re an evil vampire that would love nothing more than to see me suffer…but you at least knew enough to…respect me that much. So…I’m grateful."

 

A long, confusing beat settled between them.

 

“Buffy,” he said a minute later. “I din’t know it wasn’ you. Well, I had my suspicions, but there was a part of me that—”

 

“There’s no way you could’ve known otherwise. What? Were you supposed ask for proof of identification?”

 

“An’ ‘f I had shagged the bird an’ used that as an excuse?”

 

Buffy licked her lips, brow furrowing in thought before she offered a solemn shrug. “I don’t know. But you didn’t. You didn’t and then you helped me—helped us…and despite your own justification, it was the reason that I got back into my body. So yeah. I’m grateful. And it’s a weird feeling that I would like to have gone as soon as possible."

 

Spike smiled gently. The first true smile she had seen on his face all night—perhaps ever. It was strange to think that she and the vampire understood each other, but nothing these past two days could provide suggested otherwise. “Well,” he replied, “I’ll get on makin’ your life miserable as soon as I can work it into my schedule.”

 

“Thanks. I appreciate it.”

 

“My pleasure, Slayer.”

 

The air settled around them like an overbearing timekeeper. Settled and stressed the standard of shared realization. Issuing the subtle reminder that in no way should she be fraternizing with what she would usually think of as her prey. Spike was a mystery to her. A mystery. When had that happened? He had always simply been Spike. A vampire that couldn’t seem to take the boot in the way God intended. A vampire unlike any other—a vampire that forged alliances with Slayers in the namesake of love. A vampire that broke said alliances, granted, but behaved like an outed member of her circle of friends, even if he would deny any such allegation. He was a vampire still, regardless of what had occurred to make it otherwise.

 

With the implant or whatever the commandos had done to him to make him helpless, they had seemingly also stripped away his hostility. Not toward her in particular—they fought as regularly as ever. It was in that regard that the spell that had thrust them together just last week tugged at her insides as such an unruly abomination. No, Spike hated her as vocally as he had before. Perhaps more so: his desire to see her dead, however, had died along with his ability to make any such notion a reality. If he wanted to, unraveling her life would not take much at all. Spike was a respected vampire in these parts. He had cronies that were still loyal, she knew. Just because he was unable to see to her death personally did not mean he was not in the position to be its cause all the same.

 

Whether or not he even realized it, he had taken to helping her. Spike was helping her. And she didn’t know why.

 

“Anyway,” Buffy said suddenly, returning to herself. “I better be heading back. I was just gonna do a quick patrol and get back so we could—umm, figure out what to do about this Faith thing.”

 

The vampire snickered. “Yeh. Rupes’s really bugger all brassed about that. He had to phone a shag-buddy from the motherland to tell her now’s not such a good time to drop in for—”

 

“Stop.”

 

“What?”

 

“Just stop talking. The last thing I need to know about—ever—is the regularity of Giles’s…” She made a face. “I just don’t need to hear about it.”

 

“His sex-life?”

 

“And again with the gross. Thanks very much for listening, Helen Keller.”

 

Spike grinned. “What’s wrong, luv? The old man deserves to get his rocks off on occasion. He has you to tend to, after all.”

 

“I swear to God, if you don’t want me to stake you, you’re really going about it in the wrong way.” She shook her head as they set off again in the direction of her Watcher’s duplex. A frown tickled her mouth when she noted he had not taken the hint and scampered off in the other direction. “Where are you going?”

 

“With you.”

 

“Why?”

 

He favored her with a long look. “’Cause, unless I’m mistakin’, my stuff’s still at Rupert’s.” 

 

“You have stuff?”

 

He shrugged. “Carton of smokes an’ a box of Weetabix. Couple bags of blood.”

 

“Uh huh. And does Giles know that the Weetabix is yours?”

 

“He will once I eat it.”

 

Buffy shook her head. “When are you gonna move out?"

 

The vampire chuckled shortly. “You really are off your game tonight, aren’ you, pet? Make it sound like I’m a guest at the bleedin’ Ritz. I can’t move out, remember? Every time I try to leave, he sends you an’ your merry lot out to find me.” Spike bristled at that. “I tell yeh, this is not where I thought I’d be at my age.”

 

“Hate to break it to you, buddy, but at your age, you should be in the ground…stinking the place up.”

 

He smirked at her. “Been a demon a lot longer than I was a man. Tend to not think like one on those levels.” He shook his head. “Fifty years ago, ‘f you told me I’d be shackin’ it up with the Slayer’s Watcher of all things ridiculous, I woulda—”

 

“I don’t see what’s keeping you from moving out,” she said again. “Giles told me he didn’t think you were dangerous anymore.”

 

A dark scowl befell his face. “I am so dangerous!”

 

Buffy just paused and looked at him.

 

Then she burst out laughing.

 

“Stop.” He was pouting. And oh my god, Spike pouts? He was strangely and—very wrongly—appealing when he pouted. Appearing for everything in the world a normal man. A man. “’S not funny.”

 

“Oh no,” she agreed between chuckles. “It’s really, really not. Come on. Say it again, and this time I’ll pretend to believe you.”

 

“’m thinkin’ ‘s not a good idea to brass off a powerful vampire, luv.”

 

“And you notice just how badly you scare me with those big words."

 

He smirked, his face drawn humorless even as his eyes danced. It was strange. Strange and discomfiting, but oddly familiar. As though they had been doing this all their lives. Not fighting. Not being as they were—mortal enemies and beyond. Just this. It shook her foundation. As though cutting Spike a break because of what he had done also entailed stepping down from the platform to make way for the more surprising reform. 

 

“Remember this when I get the chip out,” he forewarned in a manner that was almost naturally teasing. No, no. This is not good at all. “I’ll make you eat those words.”

 

“Right.” Buffy released a long breath and shook her head, grateful when Giles’s front door was suddenly in view. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

 

The scene upon entering the duplex was not the most encouraging sight she had ever stumbled across. 

 

Granted, it didn’t take much to get the Watcher riled. Not these days, anyway.

 

“You monkey-scots git!” He was screaming into the phone, drawing a laugh from her companion and duel blank expressions from Willow and Xander, who sat on his sofa in survey of the television. “What nerve do you…oh, right. I see. She’s suddenly your responsibility. How silly of me. Need I remind you that the last time anyone had a word in bringing…Yes; I believe that is the point, actually. No, you cannot—”

 

Buffy sent a quizzical look in Willow’s direction, who mouthed obediently, “He’s talking to Angel.”

 

That was it. The vampire at her side burst out laughing.

 

All in the room paused to stare at him, drawing up his sobriety with haste that he would usually ignore. “’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

 

It lasted all ten seconds before he was laughing again.

 

“Angel’s sending someone from his staff to help us,” Willow explained over the verbal reprimands and the laughter. “Make sure that we get to Faith before the Council does.” 

 

“From his staff? That little Irish guy?”

 

Xander shook his head. “Nah. Actually—and here’s the really funny spin—it’s Wes.”

 

Buffy blinked. “Wes. Wes as in…I’m-The-Reason-Faith’s-Such-A-Screwup-Wes?”

 

“The one and only.”

 

A frown beset her countenance. This was not of the sense-making. “Whoa, wait. Hold it. Does he not think that we can do this by ourselves?”

 

"And hence why Giles is yelling at him,” Harris concluded.

 

Willow nodded, her eyes wide and apologetic. “Actually, Buff, I think he thinks that you and Faith mixed together is of the bad…being the reason why he wants to send someone from his team.”

 

Xander waved a dismissive hand. “Feel good, you two. You’re in the know. I didn’t even know Angel had a team.”

 

Spike recovered from his hysterics long enough to send a dancing look in Harris’s direction. “You din’t? You’re kiddin’!” Another blurb of laughter escaped his lips. “Angel’s gone industrious, mate. He’s a Vampire Detective.”

 

The other man’s gaze went wide. “A what? Oh holy moly, that is just too good for words.” His amusement drew up quickly enough, glowering a bit as he realized he had nearly laughed aloud at something the very disliked platinum vampire had to offer. “And what’s Evil Dead doing here?”

 

“Do I really need to remind everyone that I happen to be livin’ here at the moment?”

 

“Ah, that’s right. The Chipped Wonder has taken up the study of bum-hood.”

 

“So says he makin’ the leap in baby steps into the real world from mummy’s basement.”

 

“I’m still ahead of you.”

 

Spike snickered. “’F you’re talkin’ your admitted uselessness, you’d be wrong, mate. You still run around like a Slayer Groupie.”

 

“It’s called a job, Pasty. You’re off the juice, you gotta pay for the plasma somehow.”

 

Buffy rolled her eyes and shook her head. “So,” she intervened sharply. “About Faith? We have any leads?"

 

That was all it took. In an instant, Xander and Willow were tugged from the morbid draw that was arguing with a soulless vampire to matters of actual relevance, though the former looked a bit scorned and the Cockney at her side was all sorts of unhappy. Giles was still on the phone, but had evidently relocated to the upper level where he could form an argument without prompt distraction.

 

“There’ve been news reports,” the redhead confessed. “She’s left a trail.”

 

The Slayer pursed her lips. She had been afraid of that. “Bodies?”

 

“Some dead. Most beaten.” Willow glanced down. “Buff, she’s not going to LA. Wherever she disappeared to the other night…I think that train, from what I got from the schedule and departure times…she’s in Mississippi.”

 

Spike arched a brow. “Mississippi?”

 

The Witch nodded. “The train she hopped was headed to Jackson. Early morning shipment. The last sighting was about an hour north of a town called Vicksburg. She beat up a woman at a gas station and stole her SUV. Two kids in the back—they were dumped at the next pull off.”

 

Buffy shook her head. “That doesn’t make any sense. Mississippi?”

 

“From the sound of things, she’s heading south. Fast.” Willow expelled a deep breath. “The location spell results were inconclusive because of that—”

 

“Told you."

 

The Slayer shook her head, not needing to look at the vampire to know that he was smirking.

 

“—for a couple hours after the first report.” The redhead shot a nasty look over her friend’s head. 

 

“Then she stopped. Just stopped.”

 

Xander shrugged. “Ran out of gas?”

 

“Coppers mighta caught up with her,” Spike suggested.

 

Buffy didn’t look convinced. “No. No. That’s…the police couldn’t hold Faith. No way.” She raised her eyes slowly. “Where did she stop?”

 

“Uhhh…well, from what I could tell…there’s a town south of Vicksburg. Hour and a half to two hours away. Her vibes are strongest there.” Willow licked her lips. “It’s a tourist town. I have no idea why she would stop there of all places…especially going as fast as she was to just…well, stopping.”

 

“And now we must wait until Wes graces us with his oh-so-desired presence before we bust a move on this thing.” Harris heaved out a breath. “Then we get to go down under.” 

 

“It doesn’t take too long to drive from LA to here,” the redhead observed. “And, last I checked, Australia wasn’t an hour and a half away from Vicksburg, Mississippi.”

 

Spike snickered.

 

The Slayer held up a hand. “Well, regardless of how not-happy I am with this, it is better that we get Wes on the case than chance the Council catching up with her.”

 

Xander shook his head. “I’m not seeing the half-full of that. Someone please remind me. We hate Council, we hate Faith…why do we care if Council gets Faith?”

 

“Spite?” the vampire offered. “The enemy of my enemy an’ all that?”

 

“Question being, which enemy do we want to make a friend in this scenario?”

 

The Cockney shrugged. “A Slayer or a bunch of stake-happy old wankers who take the callin’ more seriously than any of the callees? You really need a vote on that one?”

 

Harris sighed in aggravation, hands dropping to his lap. “Who exactly invited you to this meeting, honestly?”

 

Spike favored him with the two-finger salute and rolled his eyes.

 

“He helped us out a couple days ago, Xan,” Buffy offered with a shrug. “And he’s probably gonna go wherever we end up going.”

 

“I am?”

 

“He is?”

 

The Slayer smiled wryly. “Unless you wanna be left here to a bunch of disgruntled demons and the commandos who put that implant in your head to begin with.”

 

The vampire frowned. “Why do you want me to go?”

 

“Excellent question,” Xander concurred with a nod. “Why do we want him to go?”

 

“Because two nights ago, Faith gave him a reason. Vendettas produce results.” Buffy drew in a breath. “I think everyone here can vouch for that. And I don’t know about anyone else, but I’d like to be in and out without screwing around. Besides…” She caught Spike’s gaze briefly. “He has her scent. Vamp senses make for easier trackage."

 

There was a moment of consideration. No point in arguing with the truth.

 

“So,” Xander said the next minute. “We catch Faith…what’s next?”

 

“I’ll think about that bridge when it’s in sight, Xan. As of now, it’s not.” 

 

He nodded. That was fair enough.

 

“Good. Good.” Buffy expelled a deep breath. “Once Giles is through yelling, we can sit down and actually talk about this. Will…starting with where we’re going?”

 

“I pinpointed the town on the map,” the redhead replied. “Can’t remember the name. Rhymed with matches.”

 

The map indicated was strewn across the Watcher’s dining room table alongside a variety of herbs and spices. Buffy bit her lip. They must have just missed the big action of the evening.

 

Which was just as well.

 

And there it was, as specified. One word, circled in blue ink. The name of a town she had never before heard of. The name of a town she would never forget. 

 

Natchez.

 

“Okay then,” she said after memorizing its placement. “Okay. I guess we have some packing to do.”

Chapter Four

 

 

“This is not happening to me.”

 

“Before the Depression, Watergate, JFK’s Assassination, Pearl Harbor, Lincoln’s Assassination, Waco, Reagan’s Shooting, Kuwait, and the Oklahoma City Bombing.”

 

“It’d be a little more impressive if you could list those in order, Donna.”

 

“What are we doing about this?”

 

“About what?”

 

“About the cat.”

 

Josh blinked and glanced up from the memo that detailed 197, something that somehow—in his personal opinion—took precedence over the significance of a bedtime story. And yet, for the look on his assistant’s face, there seemed to be no option but to set aside meager governmental affairs and address her incredibly valid concern about what impending national catastrophe loomed over their heads, unmonitored. “You’re asking me what we’re doing to solve the myth of the cat.”

 

Donna nodded. “Given the cat’s track record, I don’t think it is completely out of question to do a little investigating.”

 

“Hold on. I’m still on the first thing. You want to know if the federal government will spend time and money trying to crack the case of a ghost cat.”

 

“Yes.”

 

A long pause settled throughout the Deputy Chief of Staff’s office. The halls were all but vacant—most of the staffers having retired for the evening. Not him, though. And as long as he was here, not Donna, either. With the President, Charlie, CJ, and the Washington Press Corps flying halfway across the country for a photo-op, he thought it better to stay here until the last possible moment to do stuff that some would consider work.

 

For work, Donna was invaluable.

 

Only she was worrying about a cat, thus negating the work part of his plan.

 

“Let me ask you, is this conversation that we’re having serious?”

 

“Josh—”

 

“Are we having a serious conversation about the pros and cons of spending tax dollars to investigate an urban legend?”

 

“Would you rather wait for the White House to blow up?”

 

He blinked again. “Not researching the cat means the White House will blow up?”

 

“Well, with all that’s happened, it certainly seems to be next on the list.”

 

“Donna, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but this thing that I’m doing is actually, oh what’s the word, important.” He turned his eyes back to the memo and stifled a yawn. “Senator Davis is gonna pitch a fit and he’s gonna pitch it at me while the President smiles and waves at a bunch of barn-county yokels—in the middle of which, Leo’s being indicted by Congress and you’re worried about a cat?”

 

The blonde scowled. “Well, looking at that list, you’d think there might be reason to be worried.”

 

He sighed in aggravation. “Look, the cat was probably a stray. The guy who saw it was supposed to have retired seventeen years ago and his vision isn’t exactly twenty/twenty. Moreover, it was late, it was dark, and it’s a human-interest story that has gullible people like you bent out of shape. Get over it. There’s—you know—work to do.”

 

“How is it a human-interest story?”

 

“Huh?”

 

“How is the cat a human-interest story?”

 

That seemed more than obvious. “Humans find it interesting, Donna. What do you want from me?”

 

“It’s either an urban legend or a human interest story, Josh. You can’t have it both ways.”

 

“Humans find urban legends interesting, don’t they?”

 

“Yeah…”

 

“Well, there you go. Get back to work.”

 

“There is no work. In case you’ve noticed, it’s a quarter to midnight.” Donna sighed emphatically and collapsed into the seat across from his desk, aware but unconcerned of his wary appraisal. “The only other person here is Sam and the only reason he’s here is because he’s waiting for Toby to get back from the thing.”

 

“Then go bug Sam.”

 

“No.”

 

“Why not?”

 

“I get paid to bug you.”

 

“You’re fired. Go bug Sam.”

 

“No.”

 

Josh’s head nearly collapsed on his desk in frustration. “Why not?”

 

“Because if I am no longer on your pay-roll, then there is no good reason why I should listen to you.” Donna flashed an annoyingly bright smile. “Besides, you’ve read that memo a thousand and one times and don’t really want me to go because that means you’d have to read it a thousand and two times. And you like me being here because it kills time until Toby gets back from his meeting.”

 

A small smile quirked his mouth at that. “You know what you are?”

 

“Endearing?”

 

“I was going more for insufferable, but take that as you like.”

 

“Remind me again why Toby’s meeting was scheduled so late?”

 

A sigh hissed through his teeth. “Because, much like myself, the Minority Whip has important work to do. And we didn’t know we were going to be introducing a policy change until this morning, and in order for us to actually—you know—introduce the change, we need to make sure it’s okayed by the people in Congress who still like us.” Josh shook his head. “Is it too late to order takeout?”

 

She paused. “It’s almost midnight. I’m pretty sure that most takeout places close at nine.”

 

“Right.”

 

“Why is the President announcing a policy change in Vicksburg?”

 

Josh sighed and caressed his brow. “Because he wants it out there as a thing while, at the same time, not making hay over it. We’re already spending a good chunk of the taxpayer’s money on education reform, which as a whole, everyone’s usually in favor of. This is something he wants and he wants done right. You know how he feels about education.” He glanced down. “It also means restructuring some of the deals we made last week in a way that will ultimately be better, but it’s still a good idea to mention it in passing rather than holding a press conference over it.”

 

“He doesn’t think this will hit the news cycle?”

 

“Hit, yes. Dominate, no. It’s a small policy change and we wanna keep it that way.” Josh grinned sardonically. “You’d be amazed at how touchy people can get when you throw money into the mix.”

 

“Yeah. Amazed.”

 

“So Toby and Sam are grounded until they get the okay from our guys on the Hill to finish the speech that should’ve been done yesterday, the President’s landing in Jackson, and all the while I’m reading this memo for the thousandth and second time and I’m still not seeing why Davis thinks this bill has any feasible way of making it’s way through the House—let alone Congress.” He sat back with a groan. “And, to top it off, it’s too late to order pizza. My night is complete.”

 

“Don’t forget the cat.”

 

“Ah yes, the cat. Who could possibly forget the cat?”

 

The knock at the door was more for courtesy than need. The West Wing was all but vacant save for a few assistants and Sam. However, such diplomacy was in Sam’s nature, and he preferred prefacing his entrances rather than flatly assuming a right. Even if it was well past work hours.

 

“Hey,” he greeted. “Am I interrupting anything?”

 

“I cannot stress how much you are not,” Josh replied. “’Sup?”

 

“Toby is coming back from his meeting.”

 

“We okay?”

 

“We’re okay.”

 

“Does he need me?”

 

“No—he said whatever it is can wait until tomorrow.” Sam waited patiently as his friend collected what he would take home. “We’ll be working on the speech until it’s time to leave, but everything was pretty open/shut once the meeting actually started.”

 

Josh motioned at his assistant, who was up finally and following suit. They began in uniform fashion for the exit, nodding to the appropriate security guards and bidding goodnight to the staffers whose names did not escape them.

 

“Just out of curiosity,” Josh continued a minute later, “where in Vicksburg is the President staying?”

 

“Charlie didn’t tell you?”

 

“I don’t think so. I’ve been busy with this thing.”

 

“Grand hotels being rather lacking in Vicksburg, I think he’s staying at Cedar Grove, which incidentally is the house that has the cannon ball lodged in the—”

 

Donna’s gaze went wide and she hurrahed her victory. “See? I told you it was a good idea.”

 

“What?”

 

Josh rolled his eyes. “We’re staying at a bed and breakfast as opposed to the perfectly acceptable lodging establishments that are not run by some small town nutcases who will make me eat grits while telling stories that make the President’s anecdotes seem like State business. At least I get paid for that.”

 

“Grits are good,” Sam replied reasonably.

 

“Grits are not good.”

 

“He told me to book us rooms, I booked us rooms,” Donna intervened with a shrug. “He never specified that it had to be a hotel. And even so, the place I found was adorable and the owners are not nutcases.” She shook her head with a sigh, leaning to the other man conspiratorially. “He needs the cultural experience.”

 

“I do not.”

 

Sam smiled. “That’s cute.”

 

“It is not cute.”

 

“I’m inclined to agree with Donna on this one. The change in atmosphere will be good for you.”

 

“What if this is what the cat was warning us about,” Josh suggested, eyes dancing as his assistant’s face paled with speculation.

 

Sam tilted his head curiously. “The cat?”

 

“The cat that haunts the Capitol building.” Donna scowled and whacked her boss across the arm. “Don’t do that, you jerk.”

 

“What?” The other man blinked. “I missed something, didn’t I?”

 

Josh smirked unworriedly. “There was a sighting the other night,” he explained.

 

“I heard about that.”

 

“Yeah. Margaret’s been going on about it in a way that only Margaret can, and as a result, Donna has decided that the government should fund an investigative team to see if there is a conspiracy in the world of the supernatural.”

 

She was still pouting. “You see, when you say it, it sounds dumb.”

 

“There’s a reason for that.”

 

“Ah.” Sam nodded as though the justification was perfectly acceptable. “You know, the cat’s appearance has foretold such notable events as the bombing of Pearl Harbor and the JFK Assassination. There are some people who take it seriously.”

 

Donna grinned at him in victory. Josh rolled his eyes again.

 

“The cat didn’t foretell anything,” he argued. “Someone saw it and blamed it on something that happened in the country. Two isolated incidents that people now tie together because of one unfortunate whack-job. This isn’t something for the Smithsonian. And people who do take it seriously should really not be working in the White House.”

 

“Perhaps not take it seriously,” Sam agreed, “but seeing as a sighting has preceded many of our national tragedies, I don’t believe it would be presumptuous in exhibiting some caution in…” He frowned. “Maybe it was about Leo.”

 

Josh sighed and shook his head. “I can’t believe we’re talking about this.”

 

“Maybe the cat’s appearance has something to do with the hearings.”

 

“You’re talking about a ghost cat, Sam. Listen to yourself.”

 

“You and Toby are the superstitious ones. What’s the harm in inquiring about the ghost cat?”

 

Josh expelled a deep breath and caressed his brow, sending a glare in Donna’s direction that she shrugged off without missing a beat. “You see what you’ve done?”

 

Her hands came up neutrally. “Hey. Don’t look at me. You’re the one who didn’t let me in on it.”

 

“In on what? There’s nothing to be let in on.”

 

“All I’m saying is, Margaret knew about the cat.”

 

The three reached the parking lot with expected routine. Josh nodded his goodbyes to Donna on a note of whimsy. It was a rare occasion when they left the building together, but even so, he preferred it this way. There were times that he reckoned she didn’t realize how dangerous the city could be. And with the late hours that he made her work, walking out of the most prestigious building in the world when the sky was dark and the wackos were out could be somewhat intimidating.

 

He watched her car pull out of Dupont Circle, turning back to Sam as an afterthought with a small grin of denied affection tickling his mouth. “You shouldn’t encourage her, you know.”

 

Sam shrugged. “She’s good at keeping you on your toes,” he observed. They watched tacitly until she was completely out of sight and, in peripheral view, safely on her way home. “Tell me about this thing with Senator Davis.”

 

Josh breathed a long sigh. “Basically nothing more than what’s floating around. We’re meeting to talk about 197 and all the reasons it’s not going to become law.”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“It should.”

 

“Should what?”

 

“Become law.”

 

“Well, thanks for the input. Take Sam Seaborn to Congress based on that alone, and there’s no more argument.” Josh shook his head wearily. “It proposes good ideas, but it’s not going to be passed in the House. It’s just not.”

 

“It’s a good bill.”

 

“I’m not saying it’s not…in fact, I think I just told you the same thing. But it’s not going to happen.”

 

Sam sighed. “It should.”

 

Josh’s brows arched and he smiled a bit. “This is more than a matter of opinion, you know. We can’t support a citizen’s right to burn the Flag in protest while at the same time saying it’s wrong to display a flag that’s so central to an entire back-culture of our country. In case you didn’t notice, we’re Democrats. We don’t get away with hypocrisy.”

 

The other man shrugged. “I don’t see why not.”

 

“You don’t?”

 

“Well, there would be objections—”

 

“You think?”

 

“But we could win on one basic principle.”

 

A sigh ran through the air. Like the President, it was often not a good idea to encourage Sam when he jumped the tangent train of all things ethical. However, it was late and Josh was feeling indulgent. There was no harm in hearing a preset to what he would be lectured on in two days. “What’s that?”

 

“It’s wrong.” Sam jerked a hand through his hair and heaved a deep breath. “It’s wrong, and they know it.”

 

“It’s wrong, and they don’t care. And since when have we won anything on the principle of right and wrong?” Josh chuckled wryly and shook his head again. “It doesn’t work this way. This is more than fixing a few state flags and removing bumperstickers from every hillbilly vehicle from here to the Pacific. This is introducing a thing that would enable the federal government to fine individuals for the display of something that is considered highly relevant to—”

 

“That flag promotes racism and you know it.”

 

“I never said it didn’t!”

 

“Have you talked to Charlie about it?”

 

Josh sobered. “No. Have you?”

 

There was a long sigh. “No. I didn’t want to…no. But I don’t see how anyone could argue…I just don’t see it. That flag represents the cause for the secession of seven states based on the ideology that holding a man and his family against his will is a fundamental right that every American should employ. Every time it is waved, it sends that reminder to the black community. It is the reason we have homeland terrorist organizations such as the Ku Klux Klan and quieter movements like Southern White Pride. The fact that we have done nothing about it in the hundred and thirty years after a war that caused the deaths of over six hundred thousand American lives is an abomination. And under a liberal administration that stresses equality in race more than any we have seen before it, the bill should be allowed more than a quick dismissal.” Sam released a long, quivering breath. “It’s wrong. It’s just wrong.”

 

Josh licked his lips; studying his friend for a long, quiet moment. “There are many aspects of free speech that Congress disagrees with,” he said. “That the people disagree with. That’s why we call it free speech. The bill is good—it is. It makes a strong point and an even stronger case…but it’s not going to happen.”

 

“Why not?”

 

“Because it’s not. Because too many people feel too strongly about it.”

 

“Tell me, what are the chances that this bill would even be a thing if Bartlet weren’t President?” Sam’s brows lifted. “This is an opportunity—”

 

“It’s not gonna happen.” Josh heaved a sigh. “Look, you were the one telling me what a bad idea it is to piss off the South. Who do you think this is gonna piss off if the White House even suggests support, moral or otherwise? We’d lose the Southern states plus some just for threatening the first amendment. It’s not gonna happen, Sam. It can’t.”

 

The other man exhaled deeply and looked down, expression measured and guarded. “Yeah,” he conceded after a long moment. “Right. Right.”

 

“It’s a good bill. But it can’t happen.”

 

“Right.” Sam glanced up and shifted a bit. “Look, I’m gonna go home and work on this thing. See you tomorrow.”

 

There was a brief silence; Josh studied his friend for a moment before nodding in agreement. “’Kay.”

 

It was difficult to tell with these things what was and was not measured by radical persuasion. With such heavy opinions swaying the bill and a trip on the horizon, not getting personally involved was something that grew a little more impossible the deeper they submerged.

 

Not personal. Business.

 

Only business was personal to him. To Josh. To everyone he knew.

 

Otherwise, it wasn’t business.

 

*~*~*

 

“Here.” Josh practically dumped the gift shop bag into Donna’s lap as the plane began to speed down the runway. “Stop bothering me about the cat.”

 

There was a comment waiting on her tongue. He knew it simply by looking at her. Somewhere between antagonism and gratitude. Such was Donna.

 

In the end, she opted to ignore his heartfelt declaration of said gift and turned her attention to seeing what he had gotten her instead. The bag was heavy enough for anything, and she hadn’t noticed him lingering around the gift shop all that long. He had wanted a copy of the Post and the New York Times for the ride. Whatever else was purchased had somehow remained concealed up until now.

 

Though, judging by the size of the book, she didn’t know how.

 

“The Encyclopedia of Ghosts and Spirits by Rosemary Ellen Guiley.”

 

“Second Edition,” he added proudly.

 

“Josh…I don’t know what to say.”

 

“Say you’ll stop bothering me about the cat. That’s all I ask.”

 

Donna pursed her lips. This was usually where she would give him a hug, but with the plane making its ascent toward Mississippi and the ‘fasten seatbelt’ sign in solid place, she settled for a kiss on the cheek instead. “You’re such a jerk most of the time,” she said, earning a dubious grin that really wasn’t dubious. “Thank you for the book.”

 

“You’re welcome.” He loved surprising her like this. Seeing the look on her face made all of the above worth while.

 

Though with the way she began to digest the first few pages, he acknowledged that encouraging this interest of hers could prove a very big mistake.

 

Oh well. It made her happy.

 

And despite what he would say to the contrary, Josh loved nothing more than making Donna happy.

 

 

Chapter Five

 

 

It was amazing how many things could go wrong in subsequent order. From the moment Buffy decided that the best game plan entailed capturing the rogue Slayer hands-on to the moment of departure, any number of incidents were up for grabs and failed miserably at the chance of producing actual expediency. A heated debate about seating arrangements in the variety of vehicles they were to employ resulted in Giles’s concession of his credit card to rent a Winnebago—to which Xander claimed a bizarre undercurrent of vujà de, the notion that somehow none of this had ever happened before. Then he had coughed something incoherent and went on with business.

 

No one really anticipated anything different from Xander.

 

There was the expected bickering about Spike’s involvement and the lack of understanding at Buffy’s insistence that their resident bloodsucker lend a hand. Said resident bloodsucker was wary, himself. The Slayer’s behavior since the Bronze notwithstanding, the entire situation was a bit odd for the wearer and none had the slightest idea on how to handle it.

 

Such couldn’t last, though. It didn’t. Within a half hour on the road, Spike and Buffy were engaged in a very loud screaming match over the virtues in traditional rock’n’roll compared to the sodding drivel that popular music stations featured nowadays. Giles’s input as driver clinched the deal, and for the first seven hours he and Spike commandeered the radio dial, playing all the classics of the way-back-when.

 

It was strange watching them get along. Discussing favorites and trading stories on rock-legend encounters—Giles gazing at the Cockney in awe as Spike detailed one of four meetings with John Lennon and Paul McCartney. At the rest stops, they would avoid each other, as though tainted by enjoying one another’s company. Watcher and vampire.

 

The other Watcher had not been welcomed with open arms, and for the most part took to the back where he engaged in idle small talk with Willow and Xander. On request, he detailed how things were with Angel and Cordelia in Los Angeles and went so far as to insist that he was there as a diplomat and not on part of Angel Investigations. He wasn’t even a part of the team, as far as he knew. More an independent demon hunter who bartered information with them when things were particularly slow.

 

“So, you’re working for him?” Xander had asked in a plea for clarity. At which point, Wesley mumbled inarticulately and changed the subject.

 

Yes. It was all very strange. A road trip with the Scoobies. A road trip in which nothing could be agreed upon—rest stops, dining options, air-conditioner settings, or space evaluation. Nothing.

 

Thus, following logic to conclusion, the sleeping arrangements were anything but a mild steppingstone.

 

“Okay,” Xander said slowly, caressing his temples. They were currently stopped in a café in Vicksburg, though were having to make quick work as everyone was gearing up for some political rally. “Lemme get this straight. We already have reservations?”

 

Willow frowned. “We’ve already discussed this at least twice. Were you napping?”

 

“Let’s not rule that possibility out.”

 

“It’s a start,” Anya observed with a shrug.

 

Giles nodded. “Yes. And that is only because of Wesley’s connections.”

 

The former Watcher flushed with a silly grin and turned his eyes to his plate of half-consumed bread pudding. “The couple that owns the place was very grateful,” he replied, not trying to hide the slight of boast that skimmed his tone. “Evidently, they had never seen a Kfagna demon before.”

 

Spike snickered and rolled his eyes. He was lounged rather comfortably, elbow resting on bended knee and supporting a cigarette that indifferently defied the non-smoking sign at the restaurant’s door. And, though the waiters and waitresses had definitely made note of him, no one had asked him to put it out. “You’re kiddin’ me,” he drawled. “An’ by the twentieth century, I’d’ve sworn everyone woulda heard of a Kfagna demon.”

 

“They were deeply religious,” Wesley continued, sending a glare in Spike’s direction that went answered by an uncaring shrug. “And thought that they were being targeted as a result of having a witch as a houseguest.”

 

Willow frowned. “Hey!”

 

“Understand, their impression of witchcraft is far from the actual—”

 

The redhead pouted and sank back into her seat, batting a hand of casual neglect. “Yeah, yeah. Only wish you hadn’t waited until now to tell us you’ve booked our rooms in witch-hunting territory.”

 

“Well,” Buffy said reasonably, munching on a biscuit. “Don’t wear your ‘I’m A Witch, See My Craft’ button, and we’re all set.”

 

Spike snickered again and cocked a brow. “Oh,” he replied. “’Cause ‘s as easy as that, is it, luv? I thought the purpose of this li’l minibreak was to snatch the big bad Slayer, right? An’ we’re relyin’ on Red here to work her hocus-pocus an’ point us in the right direction. When these blokes walk in an’ see candles floatin’, they’re gonna want an explanation.”

 

She sent him an unrepentant glare. “Someone please remind me who asked Spike to join our conversation.”

 

Willow cleared her throat conspiratorially. “Ummm, Buff…that would be you. With the—you know—inviting him and everything. And Xander’s been issuing a variation of that question ever since we left.”

 

Spike merely smirked in satisfaction.

 

“I haven’t been complaining about conversation,” Harris objected with a confused blink.

 

“And thus why I chose the word ‘variation.’”

 

“Oh.” A flush rose to his cheeks and he chuckled humorlessly before turning to Anya, who was listening but very obviously unconcerned with the direction of the matter at hand. “I got a C- in English. My vocab aren’t this good.”

 

“Are not your grammar, neither,” Buffy replied, smothering a grin.

 

The Cockney’s eyes widened. “’Scuse me, Slayer, but did you just criticize someone else’s grammar?”

 

“Yes, Spike, I did.”

 

Giles sighed longingly. “Oh dear.”

 

“As I was saying,” Wesley intervened, clearing his throat. “I do not believe that the tenants of the Winsel House will be scrutinizing any of us to any such degree that could comparatively match a previous guest. I have a vouch of good faith that we will be left alone in that regard.” He turned specifically to Willow. “You have nothing to fear.”

 

That was well and good, but the Scoobies were far too experienced to be bought with simplicity. And for all the ridiculing he had done in the past, Spike knew them well enough to identify such without delayed measure. He cocked his head curiously. “How you figure, mate?”

 

“Because she does not wear sacrilegious attire, sport any number of visible tattoos, actively dye her hair stark black, listen to overbearingly loud death metal, or display piercings where no person should ever be pierced.” Wesley offered a satisfied though self-conscious smile. “Anyway, point being, I spoke with them before we left Sunnydale and they were able to, in that time, empty two rooms and the townhouse to accommodate us.”

 

The table went still.

 

“What?” Xander echoed.

 

“Just two rooms and the townhouse?” Buffy demanded. “There are seven of us.”

 

Harris shrugged at that, objection wavering. “Seven? We’re including Spike? I just assumed he was left out of that equation. Doesn’t Natchez have any nice cemeteries or something to house their dead? Why does he have to stay with us?”

 

The vampire rolled his eyes. “Y’think this is any fun for me? ‘m bein’ carted halfway across the bleedin’ country to help the lot of you worthless sods clean up your mess before the great granddaddy wankers find out that the kiddies have been very, very naughty. ‘m with you or I’m not. You can’t go ‘round changin’ the rules in the middle of the game. Doesn’ work like that.”

 

“For the record, I didn’t want you to come.”

 

“Now, there’s the surprise of the century. Pull the other one.”

 

“Guys,” the Slayer growled, slamming a fist against the table and earning what had to be the twelfth wary glance from some local who was dining across the café. “Xander, look. Spike is here because he can help us.”

 

“And what makes you so sure that he will, Buffy?”

 

There was a pause at that. Her eyes met the Cockney’s on a delayed beat of unwanted recognition. He was almost smirking at her, but there was something else behind his gaze. Something he wanted to keep hidden but couldn’t. A look of half-doused perceptivity. A drive to be understood. And yes, while tensions were mounting in ways she did not at all endorse, she couldn’t allow herself to forget what he had done not too long ago.

 

Something that had brought them this far. He claimed it had not been for her, and she believed him. But there was more to it. More buried under levels of guarded acknowledgment. More. Always more.

 

“Because he hates Faith just as much as we do.”

 

The shine of a true smile reached his eyes but not his lips. The look he betrayed remained mordant and not at all touched. Instead, he snickered dismissively and batted a hand, raising a bite of pecan pie to his mouth. “Don’ get ahead of yourself, Slayer,” he berated. “’m here for the food.”

 

Giles smiled with sardonic diplomacy, removing his glasses for a routine polish session. “Yes, well,” he began, nodding at Xander. “While we may exhibit a series of…irreconcilable differences, Buffy and I have discussed and reached a decision. Fact remains that Spike is in my custody, and I am not prepared to allow him run around town unsupervised.”

 

The vampire’s brows arched at that. “Does Spike get a say in this?”

 

In a moment of stilled hilarity, the entire table sent a brief glance in his direction and answered on the same beat. “No.”

 

“Bugger all. ‘m not under anyone’s bloody custody. Has everyone here gone completely daft? I’m old enough to whip the lot of you.”

 

“And yet, mercifully unable to,” Xander chided.

 

“Spike is not older than me,” Anya argued. “No one here is older than me.”

 

The Cockney’s eyes twinkled and he leaned forward with stern condescension. “Might not be older, pet,” he purred. “But again, I’m not the one who traded in my brawn for an internal timer.”

 

“I did not trade in my brawn. I lost my brawn.” She frowned. “And besides, you can’t hurt me. Or Xander. Xander and I are impervious to your threats.”

 

The elder Watcher released a long, controlled sigh. “The fact remains,” he said slowly, “that we are traveling to a town that none of us have ever toured before—”

 

“I have,” Wesley objected.

 

Xander rolled his eyes. “Great monkey’s uncle, you passed through one night and were there for a grand total of forty-five minutes. That does not exactly make you the mayor, Wes.”

 

The other man flushed decently. “Ah, yes. Well. It’s all relative.”

 

“Spike is staying under my custody,” Giles continued, voice raising octaves to be heard over the squabbling, “because of the circumstances that I have outlined. The last thing we need is a vampire running loose in a town we don’t know…especially when we don’t know what to expect.” A grim smile crossed his features. “There are times, I believe, when trying to predict the future is just as dangerous as charging into a lion’s lair dressed in zebra skin.”

 

“You’re all off your rockers.” The vampire shook his head heatedly. “I don’t bloody need to be kept. Got it?”

 

“Respectfully, Spike, I am speaking on your behalf.” At that, there was nothing else to say. No objections to voice—nothing but a dry understanding to coincide with confused wonder. When he saw he was not going to be interrupted again, Giles turned to Wesley and nodded. “How many rooms does the townhouse have?”

 

“Two. Two, and one of those sofas that can become a bed.”

 

“I am sleeping with Xander,” Anya announced loudly.

 

Harris coughed. Spike snickered.

 

Willow rolled her eyes. “Who here didn’t see that coming?” She turned to Buffy and shrugged with a smile. “Guess that leaves the Fab Three in the townhouse.”

 

“Actually,” the elder Watcher intervened, “I believe that it’s better if Buffy and I assume the townhouse. We’re going to need to discuss strategy.”

 

The Slayer pursed her lips and sent her best friend an apologetic look. She and Giles had discussed this before they left Sunnydale. Based on Wesley’s description on where they would be staying—and what needed to be done in order to apprehend Faith in a manner that would hopefully not raise too much attention to the out-of-towners—a plan of some kind was of the very good.

 

Willow looked disappointed, but there was understanding in her eyes. Understanding that did not quite drown out the flavor of her sudden apprehension. She tossed Spike a nervous glance, and stilled when he flashed a particularly evil grin and waved at her.

 

That was all it took. Comprehension dawned on Xander, and he flew out of his seat with stern protest. “Whoa! Wait a minute! Hold the phone. You’re going to make Will room with the—”

 

Buffy bit her lip. Her friend’s outburst was attracting more unwanted attention. “Xan—”

 

“Absolutely not. The bastard can stay—”

 

“Xan, calm down. Spike isn’t staying with Willow.” The Slayer expelled a deep breath, doing her damndest to ignore the way the peroxide Cockney’s eyes danced at her discomfort. He had to know what was coming. He had to have known it from the start. “He’s staying with me and Giles.”

 

If possible, the weight of Harris’s objection intensified. “Staying with…why is he staying with you?”

 

“Because we don’t want the Council anywhere near us.” Buffy’s eyes fell on Wesley with guarded apology, but she offered nothing more than a shrewd shrug in consolation.

 

The former Watcher’s mouth drew into a tight line. “I understand your concern, but I am no longer employed by the Council.”

 

“Yeah. They fired you. Angel gave us the low down. Sorry if I can’t find that comforting.” She leaned forward with stern condescension. “You see, from where I’m sitting, I think Faith looks like a nice ticket back into acceptance-ville. It’s not that we don’t wanna give you credit, Wes, but you gotta admit that your track record’s not up to par.”

 

Masked hurt fogged his eyes. “You think I would call the Council?”

 

“Well, I don’t know. But we’re really not looking to find out.”

 

Spike grinned, barely able to contain his mirth. “What they’re really sayin’, mate,” he drawled. “’S that they trust me. Not you.”

 

Buffy’s gaze narrowed. “I wouldn’t push it that far. But Spike does have a vendetta against Faith. And he knows how quickly I would dust him if he decided to do something without group consensus. You, on the other hand, don’t come with that reassurance.”

 

There was a brief silence. Wesley sat and stared insolently at his half-consumed bread pudding. “I’m sorry,” he murmured. “For that. For giving you just cause.” He glanced upward, meeting Giles’s eyes. “Rupert?”

 

The elder man nodded without preliminaries. “Again, Buffy and I have discussed this. While we did not know exactly how the sleeping arrangements would fall, we both decided that, given my current living conditions and your somewhat questionable past with the Council that this was the best approach.”

 

Anya nodded reasonably. “The Slayer, the Watcher, and the vampire. Sounds reasonable.”

 

“I smell a sitcom,” Xander murmured.

 

“And this means that Wes will be staying…” Willow’s eyes widened. “With me?”

 

Buffy nodded again sympathetically. “Unless Anya is willing to forgo…her…umm…just forgo, that is. Are you okay with that?”

 

The Witch blinked. “No. No! No, I-I’m not…okay with that. I’m in delicate post-Oz mode right now. And you’re rooming me with…with a…a guy?”

 

Wesley glanced down awkwardly. “Willow, I assure you that I will not make any untoward advances. The last thing I want is to make you uncomforta—”

 

“I am not forgoing my orgasms,” Anya argued. “I need my orgasms.”

 

The local at the other side of the diner was flat out staring—no thought to discretion.

 

“Can’t imagine why you’d be roomin’ with Stay Puft, pet, ‘f that’s the case,” Spike observed with a coy grin.

 

“Speaking of discomfort,” Buffy grumbled.

 

Harris’s eyes boggled in offense. “Hey!”

 

“Xander’s penis is quite capable of giving me many orgasms,” the former demon declared.

 

Now the waitress was staring, too.

 

“Good Lord, woman,” Wesley gasped in astonishment. “Have you no tact whatsoever?”

 

“None whatsoever,” Willow agreed.

 

A heavy, awkward beat settled across the table. It was a minute before Xander cleared his throat in a wry attempt to draw attention away from his girlfriend. For as much as he loved her—and yes, still reeling in the wowness of that revolution in itself—he didn’t think he would ever get used to her candor. “So,” he said, clapping his hands together. “Let me get this straight. Will is rooming with Wes, and Evil Dead gets the townhouse with Buffy and Giles in party funk central. In so many ways, I’m about to call shenanigans.”

 

The Slayer shrugged. “Well, sorry. This is just something you’re going to hafta deal with on your own. Giles is right. We need to form strategy, and we can’t do that with Spike running around unleashed.”

 

Something struck out at her from under the table, coinciding with a sudden cry from Spike as his head crooned back in pain.

 

Ignoring the outburst completely, Xander shrugged with temperamental indifference. “So, why not stick Wes and Spike in the same room? Then you’d have two brains and the Slayer working on the case. Problem solved.”

 

Buffy glanced to her friend with sudden sharpness, her gaze drawing from where she had been glaring at Spike for his underhanded attack. “What?”

 

“I said, Wes and Dead Boy should stick together. Two annoyances, one stone. No more problem.”

 

“I like that,” Willow volunteered, holding up a hand.

 

The former Watcher froze, his eyes widening in objection. “Ummm…I do not. Evidence of Spike’s handicap notwithstanding, I am not entirely comfortable sharing living quarters with a vampire.”

 

Harris sighed heavily and shook his head. “And we wonder why the Council didn’t want you facing the armies of darkness.”

 

“There’s more than one army of darkness?” Buffy asked, head cocked curiously.

 

“Oh yes,” Anya replied. “There are several thousands. In the Glakupha dimension alone, I believe there might be—”

 

“You’re not comfortable sharing quarters with a vampire?!” Willow erupted, effectively ruining any hope of discretion they had been reaching for upon entrance. “You work for Angel!”

 

Spike licked his lips, eyes twinkling. “’F I may,” he began, raising his hand.

 

A long sigh hissed through Giles’s lips. “Oh dear Lord…”

 

“I do not work for Angel. I am a rogue demon hunter. I do highly important freelance work—”

 

“—in fact, I remember receiving pleasurable and copious orgasms from a general in the dimension of Trykilak—”

 

“Ahn, can you not talk about this right now?—”

 

“’F the lot of you are bargainin’ for my help, you’re not roomin’ me with a Peaches hand-me-down wanker.”

 

“Spike, we’re not gonna room you with—”

 

“Oh, yes you are!” Willow leapt up, pointing a finger at Wesley. “I’m shaky and vulnerable and I don’t want to be anywhere near that…that…man!”

 

Wesley’s eyes widened. “What did I do?”

 

“Nothing. Nothing! I just…nothing!”

 

Spike rolled his eyes and stamped out his cigarette, rising slowly to his feet. “Look, I can solve this li’l dispute right quick.” He drew in a diplomatic breath. “Wes, you spineless git, are you gonna ravish Red the minute our backs are turned?”

 

The former Watcher’s eyes went wide. “No. No! Of course not. I would never presume—”

 

“Fan-fucking-tastic.” He pivoted sharply to Willow. “Satisfied? The sod’s prob’ly not even into what you have to offer, judgin’ by his not-so manly posin’. Seems to me to be a bit more for the timber. So there, pet. Your virtue’s safe with him. Stop your bloody bellyachin’.”

 

Nodding his satisfaction, he sat back down and took a hearty bite out of pecan pie. “There. Problem bloody solved.”

 

The table grew surprisingly quiet, and the soundless impact drew the entire diner to a standstill, watching them as though expecting an explosion to cap the awkwardness. But there was nothing.

 

Nothing, then Willow’s begrudging, “I don’t wanna room with Wesley.”

 

“Bloody tough,” Spike replied. “’Cause I’m not. We have this settled.”

 

The Witch looked to her friend for support. Buffy pursed her lips and shrugged helplessly. “It’s the best plan,” she conceded, not daring to look the vampire in the eye for reasons she refused to examine. “I’m the Slayer…Spike’s my responsibility. And if we want his cooperation, we’re gonna need to—”

 

“Bow to his every whim?” Xander asked, perking a brow.

 

The Cockney smirked. “You catch on quick, Harris.”

 

“I’m not bowing. There is no bowing.” Buffy’s eyes went wide and she gestured frantically at her Watcher. “This was all Giles’s idea!”

 

The elder man conceded a long sigh. “Yes, sadly, I am the one to blame. And Willow, I had considered all the possibilities. I know that you’re in a condition right now that…well…I suppose I don’t…well, I have every confidence that Wesley will not try anything to make this any more awkward. And…” He nodded at his Slayer. “Buffy’s right. Spike is a vampire, she is the Chosen One. On this particular excursion, it’s better to keep him rigidly supervised.”

 

“There’s that word again,” the Cockney drawled, head leaning back.

 

“Get used to it,” Giles advised. “Now…I want it perfectly clear that further displays like these…we have a job to do. We are not going there to sightsee or, or…whatever it is you bloody do in these tourist traps. As far as we can tell, Faith is still somewhere in that town. When we get there…it’s business. Is that quite understood?”

 

It was then that the Scoobies seemingly remembered that they had not chosen the most discreet location for such a vocal argument. With a low, incoherent group murmur of agreement, they nodded and tried to make way with apologies. Well, all except Anya and Spike, who watched everyone else with amusement.

 

The Watcher noted such dryly but did not think to care. “Right then,” he drawled. “We better pay up and leave. I’d like to be in Natchez by nightfall.”

 

“That shouldn’t be a problem,” Wesley commented.

 

“Good. Then let’s get out of here before the traffic backs up.”

 

Buffy frowned. “Why would the traffic back up?”

 

Spike’s brows perked as he rose to his feet. “Political rally, remember? Some big brew-ha-ha with your nation’s fearless leader. Bloke’s a bit of all right, but won’ be sorry to miss that, all the same.”

 

“Oh,” Willow grumbled. “As if Tony Blair is anything to brag about.”

 

The two Watchers stopped virtually on the same beat. “Hey!”

 

Xander pointed at the table. “Uhhh…anyone gonna leave her a tip? I would offer, but my poverty-stricken self would have nothing to offer but a napkin that reads, ‘Don’t pet porcupines.’”

 

Giles rolled his eyes and tossed a twenty to the wooden surface. “There. Let’s go.”

 

Buffy’s gaze widened. “Wow. You gave her like…seventy percent, there.”

 

“After us, she deserves it.”

 

“Right,” Spike nodded, sticking another fag between his lips. “Lot of you know how to make life hard on the middle-class. ‘S one thing to go out, mates. ‘S another to disturb the soddin’ peace.”

 

The Watcher groaned. “Oh, enough with it, you dull-witted termagant. It’s time to leave. Let’s go!”

 

“’m movin. I’m movin’. Like the wind,” the vampire agreed, deftly slipping the discarded twenty into his pocket. “Like the bloody wind.”

 

*~*~*

 

Accommodations in Natchez were uncomfortable at best.

 

It was one thing and a million things. From Willow’s excited outburst at seeing a large antebellum home to their immediate left before entering the town to Spike’s offhand comments of the local yuppies they passed. Giles had remained in a foul mood ever since the diner and didn’t seem to be in the mind frame to let himself go. The town itself was impossibly difficult to navigate, especially with no predetermined knowledge of its geography. And after weaseling Wesley for hard-pressed information—his memory having suffered a stroke upon entry—they were able to find the visitor’s center for directions.

 

That in itself proved problematic. The miniature model of the town that greeted guests upon entry served well enough for their purposes, and other than the directions themselves, proved to be the only benefit in the stop. Willow mapped the design into a gem, which she hoped she could conjure at her disclosure. Anya, however, lost herself in the gift shop, and Xander followed shortly thereafter. Wesley made a run for the men’s facilities while Buffy thumbed through brochures. Spike thought it better to sneak into the mini-theatre and catch the last fifteen minutes of the documentary on Natchez, detailing how the small, obscure town played such a vital role in history.

 

Giles was about through with pleasantries. After re-collecting his traveling companions, though, travel to the Winsel House was brief and efficient.

 

And, to the comfort of Willow and the Watchers, adjacent to a bookstore.

 

Business came first, once all was settled. The Witch enacted her magic and helped her friends haul their belongings onto the second floor of the home while Giles, Buffy, and Spike settled into the townhouse. The townhouse itself was not exactly the grandiose establishment that had been envisioned. It was modest, school-red, and a little on the shabby side. There were porches to don both entrances; a small dining room next to the kitchen upon entrance, a den connected to the first bedroom, which was similarly connected to the hallway. A bath and a room tucked in the back with a slant ceiling. The hall itself opened up to the kitchen as well, and one could not take a step without the floor announcing that someone was on the move.

 

No. It wasn’t what any of them had envisioned. But it was comfy, for the most part. And that was all that mattered.

 

Giles assumed the room in the far back, leaving Buffy in the larger but less private bedroom. Spike found himself on the couch, though he had notably not expected any special treatment.

 

With the fatigue from the drive on their backs, the Scoobies met in the living quarters of the townhouse for a quick location spell to determine that Faith was still in town. Results were positive but full of loopholes—it failed to detail a specific pathway to find the rogue Slayer.

 

However, for everything they had been through that day, the conclusion was more than agreeable. The actual search would initiate the next day when much-needed sleep had been obtained.

 

And that was that. A unanimous decision. The first since leaving Sunnydale.

 

They slept.

 

*~*~*

 

Willow awoke with an arm draped across her middle. The room was still dark and her mind was too foggy to form a coherent thought, even though a distant warning bell sounded that she should not be as comfortable as she was.

 

But why not? She missed this. She missed this more than any of her friends could ever understand.

 

And for now, she had him back. Daniel Osbourne. Her Oz. Her cuddly werewolf.

 

Thus, she snuggled with contentment, hugging the arm that nestled her, and murmured her boyfriend’s name.

 

Only the voice that answered was certainly not her boyfriend.

 

Willow’s eyes shot open and she twisted in bed, finding Wesley’s face far too close for comfort, half-dazed and murmuring something incoherent in his sleep. He seemed a step away from consciousness, but with the drapage, that could only mean one thing.

 

Well, not only, but massive bubble space being invaded.

 

“Ahh!” she yelped, firing to the other side of the bed while promptly rolling the young former Watcher off the mattress. “Get away from me, you big…guy!”

 

There was an ‘oaf’ and a moan of pain. A flash of guilt shimmied up her spine as the warning bell had begun to sound that she was not only unreasonable, but also insane. Wesley hadn’t meant any harm. She knew that, of course. No harm whatsoever. The room had only had the one bed, and though spacious, accidents were prone to happen.

 

Irrational Willow wanted charge, though. He was a male, and men right now could not be trusted.

 

“Out!” she cried, pointing to the door. “I want you out!”

 

Wesley blinked sleepily and gazed up at her. “Willow—”

 

There was something in his voice that quelled her irrationality down to a small flame. It was all she needed. The Witch hardly allowed herself to cross that bend into what she would respectfully call ‘Buffy madness’ when it came to men. Believing sides only existed in extremes with no middle ground. Sane Willow wanted another crack at it. He looked so miserable.

 

But Hell would freeze before she let him back into the bed.

 

“I’m sorry, Wes,” she said earnestly. Shamefully. “I just…I can’t have you…in here…right now. Here…let me go try and see if Anya will trade rooms with you.” She shrugged. “Depression is served in such large portions. Might as well pass it around until we’ve all had our fill.”

 

“Willow, I didn’t mean—”

 

She had slipped on a fuzzy pink robe as well as bunny slippers and was heading for the door without another thought. His voice coaxed her to turn for the final round, and she nodded her understanding. “I know.”

 

And she did. She really did.

 

Though that didn’t stop her from heading straight to her best friend’s room and pounding loudly on the door.

 

It was Anya who answered. Anya with puffy red eyes and crazy bed hair. She was wearing a skimpy nightie that Xander undoubtedly thought was sexier as hell, but judging by the sleepiness in her eyes, no nasty mating rituals had been interrupted.

 

The former demon blinked stupidly. “Willow?”

 

“Hi,” the redhead replied, doing a little finger wave. “How you doing? Good. Well, you’re probably wondering why I’m standing outside your room at four in the morning. You see—”

 

“Willow…why are you standing outside our room at four in the morning?” Her eyes dropped to the ground and bulged; mouth flying agape as she leapt what had to be a foot and a half into the air. “And wearing bunny slippers! Bunnies! Is this some sort of sick joke?!”

 

Of all the… “Of course not!”

 

“Then why are you interrupting my period of rejuvenation to frighten me with bunny slippers?”

 

“I was getting to that. You see, I need you and Wesley to switch rooms.”

 

A low moan rang from inside. She could see Xander peeking up with interest. “Did he actually hit on you?” her friend asked.

 

“No. Well, when I woke up, he was extra drapey, but that was not really his fault.”

 

Anya held up a hand and shook her head. “You come here in the middle of the night with your inhuman perkiness and scary bunny slippers and tell me that you want me to forgo periods of copulation because he takes up the covers?”

 

Willow flushed, bit her lip, but gestured to the room with a shrug. “You guys look pretty orgasm-free tonight. Please?”

 

Xander was sitting up completely now, looking at her sympathetically. It was a reassuring sight. There wasn’t much that she could ask of him where the answer would be ‘no.’ Life long friendship worked wonders like that. “Ahn, we could let her—”

 

Unfortunately, the former demon wasn’t bought. And any sentence that began with concession to her was doomed to veto.

 

“No, Xander. This is ridiculous.” She whirled back to Willow; fatigue seemingly vanished from her eyes. “Have you had your post-relationship orgasms yet?”

 

The bluntness of her question should not have surprised, but the redhead flushed all the same. “I—uhhh—”

 

“That’s what I thought. You deserve post-relationship orgasms. They make you feel better.” She pointed heatedly in the direction of Willow’s bedroom, ignoring the shadows of two men that had poked their heads into the hallway from separate rooms and were studying the trade in dazed fascination. “Go back to Wesley and demand that he give you orgasms for taking up the covers.”

 

Willow all but stomped her foot in frustration. “I don’t want orgasms from Wes—ohh—erm—you know what I mean! I can’t…do that. Not like…well, not to name names but, you. I need—”

 

“Oz. Yes. We all know.” Anya shook her head and stepped back into her room. “Go get orgasms. You’ll feel better.”

 

The whoosh of the door was not unexpected but it did happen quick enough to nearly tan the skin on Willow’s nose. She stared at the blank whiteness for a long minute, shaking with the task of going back. Wesley likely thought she was nuts, and rightly so. And if two other guests in the bed and breakfast had heard the trade, she had no trouble believing that he had, as well.

 

With a sigh, she shook her head and turned around. The men were still looking at her, but more with sleep-deprived confusion and morbid fascination than any desire to make an offer. And though she was usually the shiest person she knew, Willow couldn’t find it within herself to care.

 

A sigh sounded from up the hall. “I can already tell this place is nuts,” one man declared, turning and shutting the door without further prompt.

 

The other man was looking at her with soft compassion, sympathetic but not overbearing. And though his small, “Are you okay?” was perfectly harmless, her men-hating persona found a way to twist it into an unwanted innuendo.

 

“Fine. Leave me alone.”

 

The man stepped out of his room in cotton boxers and an undershirt. The hall was dark so his features remained encased in shadows, but it wasn’t difficult to tell that he was one of those guys that likely needed no career other than to stand in front of a camera and look pretty. Willow groaned an inward groan. Just what I need. Rooming across from Mr. GQ.

 

He stopped awkwardly in front of her, casting a hand through dark strands of thick air in what appeared to be nervous habit. “I’m not—this is not me making a thing toward you or anything. Really. If you knew me, you’d know I’m the last person to ever do that kind of…I just wanted to…” His voice cut off when he caught the look in her eyes before fumbling for a quick, friendly smile. “Hi. I’m Sam.”

 

Willow stared at him for a minute longer. Then walked to her room and closed the door. And it didn’t end there. Couldn’t. Wesley was sitting on the edge of the bed, looking at her with a mixture of fear and understanding. And God, she couldn’t take it.

 

Trust a Rosenberg to make an awkward situation even awkward-er.

 

“You,” she said, pointing to him. “On the floor.”

 

There was no argument. No room for debate. He merely nodded and did as was told, murmured another apology, and left most of the comforters to her.

 

Like a gentleman, which only made her feel worse.

 

Didn’t matter, though. The night would soon turn to day.

 

And the cycle, as it had since Oz left, would begin all over again.

 

Chapter Six

 

 

A half hour later, and his head was still spiraling.

 

Granted, having a job of such prestige and recognition was bound to come with the added promise of restless nights. This was the year for restless nights. First with the mess with Laurie—fighting his frustration with the innate assumption buried beneath his knowledge that having such a relationship would never bode well for a man of his position. Never mind the fact that they weren’t sleeping together. Never mind the fact that the most he did was buy her lunch and offer advice on how to better her situation, whether or not such interference was welcome.

 

It amazed him how small-minded Americans could be. Give them an expert on CNN and they still believed what they read in the tabloids. The story had yet to break, of course. CJ and Toby had done their damndest to keep it from the press. Danny Concanon sniffing around, finding what God Himself could not find, but cutting him a break because he was a good guy.

 

Well, that wasn’t necessarily fair. Sam had not been too discreet when it came to seeing Laurie. And therein was the problem. People didn’t care about the truth, and when the story about his relationship with the call girl inevitably broke, they would discard the truth to see nothing but a sleazy politician and his whore.

 

Sam couldn’t stand that. And the thought that he had to hand over the file detailing every aspect of his personal life upon entering the White House still made his blood hot.

 

That wasn’t all. One thing or a million things. Anyone was welcome to step up to the plate. Right now, the man he respected as a father was being torn apart in the media, by Congress; by every fundamentally and radically conservative movement in the country. And all because six years ago, he had endured a problem with alcohol and Valium. It wasn’t so much that Sam didn’t understand why it was wrong—but six years had passed. The man had willingly put himself through rehab and gotten his life back on track. And all for what?

 

Soft on crime. Soft on drugs. In favor of burning the Flag in protest. In favor of putting condoms in schools while throwing Bibles out the window. High taxes, new taxes, reform bills. Every this, that, and whatever that could be criticized was. And not because they were wrong; because they were who they were.

 

It was the soft on drugs that was killing them this time around. Republicans had it figured out. Hard on drugs, so when it came out that many influential members of the party enjoyed—or had in the past—the same illegal narcotics that they were putting people away for, it was forgivable because they recognized the error of their ways. Because they were hard on drugs. Unlike the Democrats in the White House who were soft on drugs merely in order to protect one of their own.

 

It amazed him how ignorant the American people could be to hypocrisy. The Bushes in Florida and Texas could get stoned, eat, drink and be merry without a blink from their constituents. Leo McGarry, though, who had been clean for six years was an evil man and not fit to walk the streets.

 

Perhaps it wasn’t because they were ignorant. Partisan politics was unavoidable by modern standards. Perhaps people were so set on being right that they failed to see where they were wrong.

 

The trip wasn’t supposed to be difficult. It was supposed to be quick. Introduce a policy change, take some of the spotlight away from Leo and his problem, then go back to work. The nights here weren’t supposed to be restless. And yes, while no business in the White House aside Big Block of Cheese day was taken in stride, Sam had not anticipated being bombarded with a dilemma so soon—and of this magnitude.

 

Of course, he had also not anticipated getting lost.

 

“I think I offended her,” he said aloud, eyes glued to the ceiling. “I think she thought that—”

 

There was a rustle beside him. While Toby had not been asleep—nor anywhere near such a state—he did look suitably annoyed at his companion’s unwillingness to let this particular topic go.

 

“I mean, if you were a woman, how would you take it? She knows that I overheard her conversation. She knows that I purposefully came out of my room with a mind to seeing her. She knows I’m a man. And…what? This stranger approaches her in the hallway and asks if she’s okay?” Sam shifted slightly, worry lines scattered across his face. “That sounded like a line. It had to sound like a line. She probably thought I was offering to give her…” He paused, suddenly painfully aware of the other man’s blank and frankly uncaring stare. “She probably thought I was offering myself as the solution, like her friend suggested. Or that I was assuming she was a…well, you know.” Another silence filled the room; he sat up with sudden conviction and tossed the comforters aside. “I have to go apologize now.”

 

“Sit down.”

 

“No. I have to let her know that I had absolutely no—”

 

“You’re obsessing a little bit.” Toby rolled his eyes. “Besides, you think that showing up at her doorstep in the middle of the night, half-dressed, mind you, is going to make a positive difference?”

 

Sam frowned and glanced down at his person. He was wearing boxer shorts and a white undershirt. “This isn’t half-dressed. This is more than I—”

 

The other man held up a hand. “I know what you’re going to say, and believe me when I tell you that any visual of the kind is not appreciated.” He breathed a small sigh. “We have more important things to worry about than your first impression on a girl you’ll never see again.”

 

“When you put it that way…” His gaze fell on the door again, focused and intent. “I have to go apologize.”

 

“You talked to her for thirty seconds, for crying out loud, and she obviously has more problems than that if she’s having an aneurysm over some guy accidentally bumping her.”

 

The worried look refused to waver. Sam stood in firm defiance of his position, shifting his weight from leg to leg. “No. No. We’re leaving tomorrow, and I might not get a chance to apologize. I don’t want her to think that I was trying to take advantage of a vulnerable situation and—”

 

“Sam, the girl was outside arguing about orgasms. You really think she gives a damn whether or not you were propositioning her?” Toby looked off with a short, dry laugh. “This trip was not supposed to be complicated. The President’s giving a speech in less than forty-eight hours, something that will be highly difficult if he doesn’t have the speech to give. I am not going to let you waste time about what some girl thinks about a guy she doesn’t know. We are above passing each other notes in the hallway. Go to sleep.”

 

The younger man paused again, heaving deep breaths of acknowledgment, even if his conviction remained resolute with that distinguished Seaborn style. However, despite all else, there was a certain measure of logicality in Toby’s observation.

 

The speech was what was important.

 

He drew his hands through his hair, waited, and nodded. “Yeah. Yeah.”

 

There was nothing he could do but return to bed. The modestly-sized honeymoon bed that he was sharing with the White House Communications Director for the night. Never say life wasn’t funny—it had certainly been rolling in the punch lines these past two days.

 

And that was behind them. They had a busy few days ahead.

 

A busy few years ahead.

 

And yet…

 

“I should really go apologize.”

 

Toby groaned, turned over slowly, regarded him with tested frustration, and then hit him over the head with his pillow.

 

“Yeah,” Sam continued, voice muffled slightly. “That’s what I thought you’d say.”

 

There was no reply, and he was not expecting one. He released another deep breath. All else aside, it was time to go to sleep.

 

Only…

 

Only he really should apologize.

 

*~*~*

 

Eleven hours earlier

 

“Aha! I found it!”

 

“Found what?”

 

Josh glanced up, grinning at the look on his assistant’s face. “I’ll tell you, but first, you gotta call me Your Majesty.”

 

Now she was looking at him as though he was insane. “What?”

 

“You must call me Your Majesty, for I am the King of the Road. I am the Road King. Keeper of the streets, changer of the tires, and pumper of the gas. Such is the way of the King.”

 

“You’re a king, huh?”

 

“The King. Don’t you forget it. Finder of things obscure, fixer of state business. Don’t mess with the King, Donna. From now on, you’re calling me Your Majesty. For I am a King, and such is the way of Kings. A kingly way, if you will.”

 

“Question—can the King get me my money back?”

 

“Nope.”

 

Her face fell with familiar playfulness. These were moments he lived for. “Why not?”

 

“The King’s a Democrat.” He was having a hard time not laughing at her expression, and instead turned her attention to the map that was sprawled over the car’s hood. “I know where we are.”

 

The relief that poured through her eyes was well-shared. He had begun to have his doubts that Vicksburg existed—forget what history books and the like had to say about the matter. The car itself was stalled by the side of the road thanks to Sam’s navigation over a discarded nail. He and the Communications Director had turned to walk the couple miles back to the last three-house town they had passed, hoping it wasn’t as far as they remembered.

 

Trust rental car companies in this state not to provide spare tires.

 

“Well?” Donna asked impatiently.

 

“Well?”

 

She was giving him one of those looks where she either wanted to strangle him with his tie or go home and watch chick flicks. “Where are we?”

 

There was no reply. He merely cocked his head at her, grinned, and waited.

 

It took her a minute to catch on; then her eyes narrowed in frustration. “Where are we, Your Majesty?”

 

The smile refused to waver, but he shifted a bit so that she could follow his explanation on the map. “We’re here,” he said, pointing somewhere that looked much further south than she thought they should be. “The last town we passed that’s on the map was Brookhaven, and that was about an hour ago. Then we got off on 84, and now we’re in this general vicinity.”

 

She nodded. “Okay. Well, that’s good news, right?” He looked at her and waited. She sighed and rolled her eyes. “Good news, Your Majesty?”

 

“Well, yes and no. See…” He shifted again. “Here’s Natchez. That’s the good.”

 

“Okay…where’s Vicksburg?” Another pause. “Your Majesty?”

 

His finger trailed a long line upward, and her eyes boggled when it landed. “Right here,” he said. “If we’d’ve gotten on 20, we’d’ve been there hours ago.”

 

“Oh my God, Josh.”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“How did this happen?”

 

“Well, I’m thinking it’s probably because Leo told me Vicksburg was south of Jackson, and Leo’s never been to Mississippi before.” He shrugged. “Mistakes happen. Anyway, I’m thinking when we get the car running again, we just go to Natchez, stay there the night, then Sam and Toby can get a move on to Vicksburg.”

 

She frowned at him suspiciously. “Why aren’t you freaking out about this?”

 

Josh shrugged again. “’Cause the President’s speech isn’t for two days, and he usually gets the final draft seconds before he actually gives it. Natchez isn’t that far from Vicksburg—we get there, we sleep, they get another car, and that’s the end of that.”

 

There was nothing to contest. Donna bit her lip and nodded, wrapping her arms around herself and hopping in sudden impatience. “I don’t like this,” she said, gesturing to their surroundings. “It’s creepy out here. With all the…” She frowned, glancing around. “Trees. And the…did you see any lights when we popped that flat?”

 

He cocked a brow at her. “I knew. I knew two seconds after I gave you that book that it was a mistake.”

 

“I saw lights.”

 

“Yeah, on the head of a car.”

 

“No. It was different—the book described something called an ignus fatus, which are these phantom lights that get travelers lost at night.” The funny thing was, she actually looked worried about this. “Are you sure we didn’t see any lights? Because I think I saw lights, and—”

 

“I swear to God, Donna, I’m gonna get a bill passed that prohibits you from reading.”

 

She paused, then smirked. “Oh sure. Congressman Lyman.”

 

“First the cat, and now phantom lights?”

 

“The book mentioned the cat, too.”

 

His eyes rolled up, but he couldn’t keep the instinctual smile from crossing his lips. “Oh, by all means,” he drawled. “It must be true.”

 

“And the White House is haunted. Did you know the White House is haunted? Not surprised—it is kind of eerie at night.”

 

“You couldn’t possibly tell me more about this, could you?”

 

She scowled at him defiantly. “Abigail Adams, to name one. And Abraham Lincoln. Abraham Lincoln haunts the White House.”

 

“Yeah. Wonder where he was during the Regan administration.”

 

She glared at him.

 

“Well, what did you expect? Listen to yourself.”

 

“I think that my concern is completely justifiable, especially when you consider the Southern states are rumored to be more haunted than the rest of the country.”

 

“That’s a great point you’re making there. Really. Not crazy at all.”

 

Donna scoffed and placed her hands at her hips, eyes seething with indignation. “You’re telling me that you’re so unbelievably small-minded that there’s absolutely no way within the realm of possibility that we popped that flat because of the ignus fatus?”

 

Josh paused a moment, considering. “Well…yeah.”

 

“What if Sam and Toby go missing? What if we never hear from them again? We’re out here in the middle of nowhere, our phones are getting no reception, there’s an ignus fatus out there somewhere, and they—”

 

The sound of a loud horn broke through the stream of her rant, followed by the quick flash of oncoming headlights.

 

“Oh no,” Josh whispered erratically. “It’s the ignus fatus! Run for your life!”

 

“Shut up.”

 

The ignus fatus was apparently a large Chevy truck. Sam and Toby were in the back, the latter with his arm draped over a large tire, eyes dull with the bouncing weight of the vehicle as it came to a halt.

 

Donna breathed a sigh of relief.

 

“And you were worried,” her boss murmured teasingly.

 

“Shut up.”

 

Josh grinned but said nothing, instead turning his attention to his coworkers with a note of cynicism. “Took you long enough!”

 

“Sorry!” Sam replied, hopping out of the back as he and Toby rolled the tire to the concrete and over to the car. “It took a while to remember if we’d gotten off on Exit 187B and then—”

 

“We were on foot,” the other man observed dryly. “The fact that we’re back here at all should be commendable.”

 

“Bubba helped us pick out the tire.”

 

That was it. All the Deputy Chief of Staff could take. Without a thought for tact, he burst out laughing, hitting the side of the car in a display of mirth. “Bubba?!” he howled. “You actually met a Bubba?”

 

Sam nodded, eyes going wide. “Yes, and she was kind enough to drive us back.” With that, he began gesturing emphatically to the driver’s side door of the Chevy with his head.

 

Oh, this was priceless. In Mississippi for one day, actually meet the notorious Bubba, and discover that Bubba’s a little more—or less—than the stereotype had colored. It took all that he was to keep his laughter from bursting all over again.

 

Thankfully for all, Donna was there. “All right. All right. We have the spare. Thank Bubba for us, okay? Let’s fix this and get moving. Josh knows where we are.”

 

Toby stepped forward at that. “Where are we?”

 

“Nowhere near Vicksburg.”

 

At that, the man looked ready to murder someone. “Are we still in Mississippi?”

 

“Yeah. We got off the wrong exit in Jackson, thanks to Leo’s nonexistent sense of direction, or map-reading, for that matter.” Josh pinched the bridge of his nose in thought, leaving Sam and Donna to pay regards to the Chevy driver and thank her for her time. It wasn’t implied, but he always preferred not to be the ‘hands-on’ person with the locals, if at all possible. Especially women named Bubba who lived in Mississippi, even if the concept in itself was too tempting for words. “Look, we’re actually not that far from Natchez. Once this is fixed, we’ll head there, sleep, and you two’ll head to Vicksburg tomorrow.”

 

“The President expected us today, Josh. He expected us six hours ago!”

 

“Yes, and I will explain what happened once we get there. Really, this is nothing that merits an overreaction from anybody.”

 

The words had barely escaped his mouth before Donna’s accusatory, “What do you mean, you don’t know how to change a tire?!” flew out at a flustered and rightly ashamed Sam, who glanced to the ground and kicked idly at the pebbles.

 

“It’s just…nothing my father really pulled me aside and taught me how.”

 

Josh and Toby turned to the duo wearily.

 

“Sam doesn’t know how to change a tire?”

 

The man in question frowned before pointing a finger at the Deputy Chief of Staff in blatant accusation. “Neither do you!”

 

“Huh? How do you know?”

 

Donna’s eyes widened. “Josh!”

 

“Because the last time you had a flat, to my knowledge, we were in the car together and had to call a tow truck.”

 

“Josh!”

 

“Donna!”

 

“King of the Road, Josh? Changer of tires, Josh?”

 

“So I might’ve been boasting a little.”

 

Toby rolled his eyes. “Oh, for crying…”

 

Josh wet his lips and turned to the Communications Director in search for a quick way to redeem himself. “Well, do you know how to change a tire?”

 

There was a significant pause at that. Toby merely stuffed his hands in his pockets and smiled ironically.

 

Donna rolled her eyes and began rolling up her shirtsleeves. “Someone get me the jack.”

 

The three men stopped to stare at her.

 

“You know how to change a tire?”

 

“Yes. Unlike three of the most influential men in the world, I was not born in a barn.”

 

“When were you going to tell us this?” Josh demanded.

 

“I wasn’t. I was sort’ve hoping someone else would have to be the man. Where’s the jack?”

 

“On it.” Sam had the trunk popped and was busy throwing practically every piece of luggage they had stored onto the pavement. “What’s it look like?” At the collective groan that arose from the group, he raised his head and offered a small smile. “Kidding.”

 

Josh snickered and tapped his assistant on the shoulder. “I know what a jack looks like.”

 

She blinked at him before offering a condescending nod. “Yes. At some point, I suppose you’re going to have to come to terms with the fact that you are a grown man.”

 

“Uhhh, Donna?” Sam was holding up a small can of travel-sized hairspray. “I’m guessing that this isn’t it?”

 

It took a minute to digest.

 

“There’s no jack?”

 

“Not unless it’s called the Superhold Three X.”

 

Another full minute went by; the four travelers exchanging a series of annoyed and panicked looks. It took them another thirty seconds to realize that it was still dark outside, and the truck that had delivered the tire was becoming a distant speck down the stretch of obscure highway.

 

And so it was that the Deputy Chief of Staff, the Communications Director, his Deputy, and Donna Moss started running as fast as they could after it, waving their arms and yelling for a return as night settled around them, and the threat of ignus fatus grew ever closer.

 

*~*~*

 

Natchez, approx. fifteen hours later

 

Sam had waited for a good ten minutes for the door to the young lady’s guestroom to open. He had already exchanged awkward pleasantries with the man she had been rooming with, a British gentlemen that Josh had first confused for Seaborn upon exiting his room with Donna chirping away the day’s schedule behind him. Sam supposed they did look alike, but his mind was otherwise occupied by many means.

 

It had to be strange for his friends, sharing a room. He knew they had done it before under a variety of circumstances, but he thought it had to be strange all the same. There were no two people on the face of the earth who knew each other as well as Josh and Donna did. And yes, while others talked, it was well accepted and—furthermore—an undeniable fact that her relationship with him was nothing of what the people would expect. They were friends. Good friends. And so helplessly in love with each other that there was nothing to do but firmly ignore it. So yes, it had to be strange for them to share a room. But the Winsel House had been booked when they arrived; Donna had forgone her room so that Sam and Toby would not be forced to seek lodging elsewhere.

 

He had not been able to sleep. While he and Toby were leaving after breakfast for Vicksburg, he couldn’t stand the fact that somewhere out there, someone would be thinking ill of him. Even if she hadn’t given him a second thought. Even if she didn’t know his name, or his business. Even if she thought he was the wackiest of the wackos. It didn’t matter. He could not in good faith not apologize for his shabby introduction and even shabbier attempt at consolation.

 

It seemed forever had passed before the door opened again.

 

And Sam’s world stopped.

 

He had not gotten a good look at her the night before, but he had seen enough to know she was pretty. And in the morning light, pretty struck him in the face for being too weak a word. She was quite unlike anyone he had ever seen. Young, to be sure, but there was wisdom in her eyes. Her eyes that met his with a flush of embarrassment and curiosity before darting down to examine the carpet scheme as though it was utterly fascinating. Her red hair was darling and curved just at her chin, complimenting her rosy face in a way he didn’t think Shakespeare could describe.

 

Oh no.

 

This was not good.

 

Not good. And strange. Sam was not blind; he knew many attractive women in his line of work. Moreover, he wasn’t exactly chopped liver himself. He knew many attractive women, and they often paid him the respect admiration for his physique in the subtle ways he did for theirs. And even if he never actively pursued any offers or notes of interest that might come his way, that didn’t mean he didn’t see them.

 

He more than saw this girl.

 

“I…uhhh…” And, of course, despite all the speechwriting talent in the world, his customary bumbliness had a way of interfering with the simplest tasks, and he fell all over himself. “I bet you’re wondering why I’m out here. And I have a reason—a good one. You see, I just wanted to apologize for last…I really didn’t mean to—”

 

The girl held up a hand and offered a kind, however forced half-smile. “Really. No. It’s okay. I’m sorry I woke you up.” She gave a little nod and moved to push past him. “I have to go to breakfast now.”

 

She was gone in half a blink. And he was left alone in the hallway.

 

“Well,” Sam murmured dejectedly. “That went well.”

 

Chapter Seven

 

 

She awoke in a strange room.

 

It was nearly reminiscent of the mornings in LA. Slowly coming to oneself in a state of delayed actuality. She remembered the room; remembered the smell of breakfast cooking upstairs and the fights the noisy couple on the third floor broadcast to the full of the building’s occupants. Remembered the sinking feeling of self-abhorrence as the stark reality of where she was sank in. As the drifting recognition of the reason she had run away in the first place attacked with memories that she did not want. A life that was no longer hers.

 

Awaking in the Winsel House, while similar enough to draw the memory, was also incomparable. A note and a nod—nothing else.

 

It didn’t take long to pinpoint what had awakened her. Giles was up and about, and from the sound of things, not making any attempt to execute his morning routine with a mind for his current housemates. Buffy rolled her eyes and sat up slowly, stretching her arms over her head and releasing a yawn that nearly knocked her back to sleep. She had known that agreeing to room with her Watcher would mean late nights and early risings—she just didn’t know that it would start immediately.

 

Even if his modus operandi made sense, seeing as they didn’t want to be here all that long.

 

“Buffy,” he said, vaguely surprised to see her as she walked into the kitchen and sniffed at the coffee he was brewing. “I didn’t expect you up for some time.”

 

“Ah, yeah,” she replied with a sleepy grin, stretching her side. “These floors thought differently.”

 

“Oh, I’m sorry, I—”

 

“Ah, no big. Don’t worry. Besides, early bird and all that.” She propped herself up on the kitchen counter, swinging her legs with calm casualness. “So, what’s up? Game planning-it?”

 

Giles smiled and raised his coffee mug to his lips. “Well,” he said. “If you want to eat breakfast, I believe they serve it at eight; you have a half hour to get ready. After that, I suppose it will be a matter of guess and check. We should try another location spell, but if last night’s conclusions were at all reliable…we might be looking for her by a good old fashioned combing of the city.”

 

Buffy shrugged, stifling another yawn. “Well, it’s not exactly like Natchez is, you know, huge. If we do have to search for her, it still shouldn’t take all that long.”

 

“Provided she stays here, within reason.”

 

The Slayer nodded. That enough made sense. “The best game plan, if that’s the case,” she said, “is for me and Spike to take patrol at night. I have no idea where the cemeteries are around here, or if there’s more than one, but we might as well be productive. And if Faith can’t be found by a simple location spell, she might be working some mojo of her own.”

 

“I had thought of that. You’re right, of course. Willow’s spells have been known for their…well…glitches, but she is rather talented at performing location sanctions. If Faith has contracted herself to a higher power to keep us from finding her…” Giles sighed and settled against the kitchen table, crossing his arms. “We cannot afford to be here for long, Buffy. Not with the Hellmouth unguarded and the unidentified group that evidently caused Spike’s handicap running around and doing God-knows-what.”

 

She pursed her lips in thought, a frown marring her brow. “So…if things don’t go well…we just let Faith go?”

 

“No, of course not. But the Hellmouth—”

 

“Is there. And will always be there. Whoever those commando guys are…I don’t think they’re trying to cause trouble.” Off his look, she shrugged helplessly. “Well, yeah, we need to get to the bottom of it—I’m all for that, but if we have to be here longer than we thought, I think they can keep the Hellmouth under wraps. I mean, they targeted Spike because he’s a vampire, and from what he’s told us, there were others.” She paused at that, biting her lip in thought. “Maybe we can have Angel watch over—just to see if anything happens.”

 

Giles’s eyes narrowed at her. “Are you sure that’s wise?”

 

“Would you rather there be no one there?” Buffy drew in a breath. “If we knew more about the commandos, I’d feel a lot better. But, bottom line, we don’t know how long this is gonna take. And—”

 

“We’re getting ahead of ourselves already. I propose we see how today fares. Who knows?” A weary smile drew across his lips. “Perhaps we will be on our way home before nightfall.”

 

Buffy tossed him a wry glance. “You really think so?”

 

“No. Of course not. After all, when has anything ever come across that easily?” He stood to cross the kitchenette and dump the rest of his mug down the drain before making his way toward the door. “In the meantime, though, I fully concur with your idea to patrol at night. Spike has her scent, so that will work in our favor.” The look in his eyes became serious, and he turned again. “It will be up to you, Buffy. I do not trust Willow with magic far enough to allow her attempt to apprehend Faith in such a manner. She is not yet at that level, and I believe you would be the first to agree.”

 

Naturally so. While her friend had come amazingly far in the past two years, she was still very young in the practice. Whatever spells that had been conducted often purchased with them nasty side effects or results so far from the intention that the incantations were subject for review. Throw Willow and binding into the mix and she might teleport Faith to some torturous hell dimension—and despite whatever had passed between them, Buffy couldn’t hate her. Not fully.

 

But she was so close that the line between irony and humor was becoming more and more blurry.

 

“Well, I’ll leave you to your business.” The Watcher pulled open the front door and paused. “If anything comes up between now and breakfast, you can find me in the bookstore.”

 

“Naturally,” the Slayer replied. “Where else?”

 

He tossed her a pertinent look but was gone without rebuttal. And she was left to her morning routine. She showered, dressed, tended to more superficial cares just in case she met Mr. Right at the breakfast table.

 

Hah. As though her Mr. Right would be waiting at the breakfast table. As though her Mr. Right existed. The men she met on her everyday agenda were just unappealing. She tried—she had tried and failed with Parker. And failure was not something that Buffy took well.

 

Even still, it was there and there was nothing she could do about it. The entire Parker incident had made her motivation in active pursuit of a love life something of the forced nature. There was something monstrous about human men. With demons, one couldn’t expect any differently. That simple knowledge was enough to drive any rational Slayer insane with overly fastidious expectations that made the fall even harder to survive.

 

She had thus consigned herself to the bitter understanding that meeting men in Natchez was a likelihood confound by the acknowledgment that she was indefinitely cursed.

 

She was running a few minutes behind—Slayer speed notwithstanding. It didn’t really matter, of course, but she wanted to prove to someone that she could be at one place when she needed to. There was something universal about the Slayer stereotype that consigned her to the dud line when it came to punctuality. Once, just once, she would like to prove all self-imposed expectation wrong.

 

Not that Slayers had a stereotype. She didn’t know if that was possible for secret superheroes.

 

She had just reached the door when a sharp feeling of the neither good nor bad variety attacked her subconscious. It was nothing out of the norm, but similarly incomparable to anything she had experienced with sub regularity. For a minute she stood, unsure of what to do. Stood until her spider-senses made the obligatory leap forward and convinced her to turn around and peek in on Spike before leaving him alone.

 

The picture he presented nearly coaxed a warm smile to her face. It had to be the most uncomfortable-looking sofa in the history of uncomfortable-sofas. And yet, he hadn’t complained about the arrangements. The look in his eyes the day before in the diner was enough to attest his surprise in even being included. After everything he had done for her, it didn’t seem right to not accept him. Even if his claims remained that his actions were based on pride alone. It didn’t matter.

 

Things had changed since the night at the Bronze. She didn’t know what, but she couldn’t look at him in the same light. It was bizarre. He had always been, well, Spike. That annoying vampire that just didn’t know how to leave her alone. A pest. A nuisance. Something to stake if she got too terribly bored. Spike.

 

And yet, on the extremely rare occasion, he did something that reminded her that he was a man once. That he was more a man than the demon inside. That in itself was something she had never thought to admit—not to herself, and certainly not to the vampire in question. But she was the Slayer. She was in contact with demons hands-on every day. She had seen them all. The good, the bad, and the very ugly. And after five years of professional slayage, she knew how to call them.

 

There were the evil ones. The weak ones. The strong ones. The harmless ones. The souled ones.

 

Then there was Spike. In a category all by himself, there was Spike. Spike who was neither monster nor man—but played the part of man so well that it often took several attempts to remember what exactly he was and how artfully he colored history red.

 

And despite however much she wanted to believe it, whatever had happened to him to make his dining on humans a non-possibility wasn’t where he stood out. There were so many things he could do if he wanted. Things he could use others to do for him. A respected vampire such as he should have no difficulty in manning a small squad of cronies. But he didn’t. And instead of turning to his evil brethren in his time of need, he had come to her.

 

Spike was with her now. In the den of the townhouse. In a town to catch Faith.

 

All because he had said no. Because he had respected her that much, even without realizing it.

 

It was impossible not to see him in a different light after what had happened.

 

And the shades of variety were shaking her foundation. There was no justification to feeling this warm candor toward Spike, regardless of what he had done.

 

But she did, and if she had to take it to her grave, that was what she would do.

 

A low moan hummed through the air and the Cockney in question shifted upward, coming three more inches closer to tumbling off the sofa completely. She didn’t know why he hadn’t bothered to unfold the trundle bed. It looked as though he had simply collapsed with no thought to personal comfort.

 

Which she could believe.

 

It was strange. She had never seen him asleep—never really given thought to the concept that Spike slept. He looked so…normal. Not smirking. Not sneering. Not driving her up the proverbial wall. Just a guy who was as exhausted as any human, given what he had been through the past couple of days.

 

She shouldn’t be here. Should he awake and find her staring at him, he would undoubtedly call her on it. And she would have no good explanation other than the plain admission that she was emerging from a two-year blindness and seeing him as a person rather than a vampire. The notion itself was something he would rebuke, but true nonetheless.

 

She shouldn’t be here, but she couldn’t tear herself away. There was just…something. Waiting for these feelings to go away had proved futile. Her gratitude and her slow acceptance of him was growing more in depth and feeling every day following what had transpired. She was seeing him, and she couldn’t help that.

 

Only she had to. Because if he knew some of the thoughts that had been running through her mind, he would laugh her out of the house. It was preposterous. She knew it—hell, up until two weeks ago, she had been preaching nothing but. This was Spike. Spike as in gross. Spike as in vampire. Spike as in—

 

He murmured again and turned in his sleep, shirt riding up to expose a sliver of alabaster skin at his abdomen.

 

Oh god.

 

This was so inconvenient.

 

Buffy licked her lips and forced her rapidly growing one-track mind onto other venues. If anything, what had happened was an opportunity. Yes—an opportunity to change the nature of their relationship. To build on hostility and turn more into candor—no, forced. Forced was much better—acceptance. Business associates. That’s what they were. Buffy and Spike, partners in…well, not partners. Partner was such a complex, multi-level word and she couldn’t afford to conjugate the variety of meanings. Not now.

 

No, no. Not ever. Forget the now part. It was never going to happen.

 

But still, she did want something more than what they had been trading. Ever since the Bronze, their association with each other was at a bizarre crossroads. They wanted to snark, and had, but without the usual venom which made their mutual comments awkward and forced. When he looked at her now, there was softness in his eyes that hadn’t been there before.

 

Thus, at looking at all the available evidence, there was no conclusion to meet other than he was willing, if not eager, to move their relationship from the hate phase into the forced-tolerance phase.

 

If she wanted to be truthful with herself, she would have upped the notch to looking-away-quickly-so-you-don’t-catch-me-staring phase, but such was so far from the realm of acceptable outcomes that she ignored its cry altogether.

 

Peace-offering. I’ll bring him back some munchies. Yeah—he’d like that. Spike likes food. Oh god, what if he reads something into it? What if ‘croissant’ translates to ‘wild-monkey-sex’ in Spike-lingo? What if he thinks…okay, Buffy. Calm. Slow breaths. In and out. A croissant is hardly a marriage proposal. Besides, been there, done that, and so not doing it again. She frowned. Though throw hashbrowns in the mix and that’s an entirely different story.

 

In the meantime, she decided there was no harm in trying to make the guy as comfortable as possible. She moved for her room, never taking her eyes off him, which was simple since the den and her guest quarters were adjoining. The large armoire that housed all the additional pillows and blankets was about three feet away from the foot of her bed, pressed against the wall. She could still see him; he hadn’t moved, hadn’t given any indication that he was awake—and if not for the occasional shallow breath that he indulged—alive. A soft baby-blue comforter and a pillow were at her disposal; she moved back toward him, warier than she would have like to have confessed.

 

A snake ready to strike. That’s what he was.

 

A lean, muscular, snake.

 

So not good.

 

Giles had assured her the night before that she didn’t have to be quiet on anyone’s benefit. He was accustomed to sleeping the night through regardless of circumstance—only jarred if someone shoved him out of bed. And Spike was even more so of the same regard. To quote her very politically incorrect Watcher, the vampire slept like the dead.

 

Based on what she was seeing, though, it was feasible.

 

Buffy drew in a breath and tried to push him back onto the couch so that he was no longer in danger of falling to the ground. The action persuaded a low murmur through his throat, but nothing more. When she lifted his head to situate the pillow beneath, he purred appreciatively and shifted, but did not awake. And when she settled the blanket over his taut self, he crooned and relaxed, as comfortable as ever.

 

There. First move made. Though she knew he would be able to tell just from the scent whom had affixed his accommodations, there was some satisfaction in getting away with the job before he awoke. That way he could choose to mention it if he cared to, or ignore it properly and let her know where exactly they stood. If the hate was behind them. If they were ready to behave like adults.

 

Thus, with a nod of satisfaction, she turned promptly at the heel and made her way for the main house. She was gone before he could turn over in his sleep and clutch the blanket tighter to him. Inhale the scent that fragranced its texture. Recognize her, and address her with a long whimper of her name before succumbing to deeper slumber.

 

*~*~*

 

Buffy was surprised to see Willow traipsing down the stairs as she pushed the front door open. The redhead was committed to schedules and order, almost more so than Giles—thus to see her as such was almost cause for panic. The Slayer’s own tardiness notwithstanding, it was a rare day in Hell when her best friend was not punctual to a fault.

 

Then again, rare days were coming in leaps and bounds. Had someone told her this time last week that the Scoobies would soon depart for Mississippi, she would have laughed that someone out of the room. And yet, here they were.

 

“Hey,” Buffy called, waving a little. “Everything all right?”

 

Willow glanced up and blinked, then offered a tired, wan smile. “Okay. I think I scarred Wesley for life when I freaked out in the middle of the night, but other than…” She shrugged and shook her head. “Yeah, everything’s rosy. Peachy keen is me. I’m just a big ole bowl of keen peaches.”

 

Yeah. Uh huh. Buying that. “What happened?”

 

The Witch’s smile thinned even further and a long sigh escaped her lips. “Nothing. Sadly, a big whole lot of nothing. Wes accidentally got up close and personal and I wigged to the ninth degree. Then I embarrassed myself even further by making the colossal mistake of assuming Anya has a heart and would take pity on me in a time of need. Instead, she was all with the making me even more uncomfortable and said that I should sleep with Wes as a step of getting-over-Oz.” Her eyes dulled and she shivered a bit. “Then, to make a long story even longer, this guy who’s staying in the room across from mine evidently heard the entire thing and came out to see me.”

 

Buffy’s gaze widened. “He came on to you?”

 

“Well…no.” The redhead sighed. “Really, really not. In fact, he so didn’t come on to me that he felt it imperative that he meet me outside my room not five minutes ago and list the many ways in which he did not.” At the look on her friend’s face, she nodded in wry concession. “Yeah. I know. Hypocrite. There’s just times when I think that I’m ready…I mean, I’d like to at least be acknowledged. And yeah, I’d’ve hit him or…or something if he’d tried anything, but what’s wrong with being hit on? Really? I’m mopey and post-relationshippy and I need some confidence, dammit.”

 

“Will, I’m sure he didn’t—”

 

“Yeah. I know.” She blew out a deep breath and shrugged. “It’s okay. Really.”

 

It obviously wasn’t, but there was nothing that the Slayer could do but nod her empathy. “You sure?”

 

“Yeah. Yeah.” Willow gestured to the parlor. “Tummy’s all with the grumblies. Time for breakfast, methinks.”

 

Buffy was far from satisfied, but nodded all the same. Though while all evidence pointed to the contrary, she had thought the redhead past the part of moping all the time and finally getting around to what was important.

 

The parlor led to one of two entrances to the dining room, and given all, it was the easiest measure. Quiet chatter filled the air—awkward and forced—and just seconds before the Slayer could fully enter the room, her friend emitted a sharp gasp and hastily shoved her to the connecting wall where they were out of sight.

 

“Will—!”

 

“Oh my God, Buffy. Oh. My. God.”

 

“What?”

 

“Didn’t you see him?”

 

Given the fact that there were several ‘hims’, the Slayer opted for no. “What are you talking about?”

 

“Either I’ve finally gone off the bend or…” Willow paused and turned to peek slowly into the dining room, where they were undoubtedly attracting an audience. “Okay, no bend-going-over. I’m sure now. That’s him.”

 

“Who?”

 

“Josh Lyman.”

 

Buffy just looked at her expectantly.

 

“Josh Lyman?” The redhead was saying the name as if it meant something. “Deputy Chief of Staff?” She looked quite convicted. “In the White House? Honestly, Buff, don’t you ever watch CSPAN?”

 

The Slayer’s eyes bulged a little but she opted with a shrug. “I already deal with demons, Will. I don’t really need to add politics to the mix.” She turned to glance into the dining room. “So, he’s important?”

 

“Important? Did you not hear me say Deputy Chief of Staff?”

 

Buffy looked back and shrugged. “So…important?”

 

The Witch never got the opportunity to reply. A man had entered the parlor and was strolling toward them at his leisure, evidently having caught the tag of their discussion enough to add a quick, “Yeah, but don’t spread it around. It tends to go to his head.”

 

Willow was staring at the newcomer hard, eyes wide and skin pale. “Oh God.”

 

“You know,” came a voice from the dining room, “seeing as we can all hear you, I think it’s safe to come in now.”

 

Buffy glanced back to her friend, shrugged, and did simply that. Giles, Wesley, Xander, and Anya were sitting at one side of the table; two men and a blonde at the other. Judging by the oddly pleased look on the younger man’s face, she decided he was Josh, gave him a once over, and shrugged again.

 

Willow and the man filed in slowly after; the former looking numb.

 

It was Giles who broke the silence, delving into his eggs and adjusting his glasses with needed diplomacy. “So…you work in the White House?”

 

“Yeah,” Josh replied, still grinning at the notion that he had been identified. “We don’t really like to announce it when we go out, but yeah.”

 

“Oh please,” groaned the girl at his side.

 

“I would’ve expected you to recognize at least one of them,” Willow grumbled as she reached for the ham-steak. “You’re supposed to know everything.”

 

“Excuse me if my powers of deduction do not reach the standards of American politics,” Giles retorted good-naturedly.

 

“It’s okay,” the blonde woman was saying. “Really. We’re more a behind the scenes operation anyway. Sam and Toby do the speechwriting…Josh is, well…you know. And I’m his senior assistant.”

 

Willow’s eyes widened and she sized up Sam considerably. “Oh God.”

 

The elder, balding man cracked what seemed to be the first smile of the day. “That answers my question.”

 

“What question?” Xander asked. He was looking rather pale, himself, but similarly not wanting to be left out of the loop.

 

“Which one of you was the one in the hallway last night.”

 

“Oh God.”

 

Giles frowned. “Last night?”

 

The Witch whimpered as her face fell into her waiting hands. “Don’t, please.”

 

“Willow came to our room last night because she did not want to have sex with Wesley,” Anya said without blinking, her tone and bluntness drawing a series of interesting looks from the other side of the table. “I told her that she should go back to him as to acquire her necessary post-relationship orgasms in order to proceed to the next stage of her emotional recovery.”

 

Buffy just stared at the former demon, unsure whether to laugh at the reaction she was mounting or feel bad for her friend. Xander reached out to pat his girlfriend’s hand and mutter something about the proper etiquette when speaking with strangers in public. It was the Deputy Chief of Staff, though, that broke the ice, rising to his feet to reach across the counter and shake Willow’s hand. “Hi,” he greeted. “Josh Lyman.”

 

“Josh,” the blonde berated as she tugged him back into his chair. “Leave her alone.”

 

“At least I apologized,” Sam mumbled.

 

Buffy’s eyes widened. “He’s the one?”

 

“Oh God,” Willow moaned.

 

Wesley pursed his lips and cleared his throat. “So,” he said. “I trust you are in Mississippi for the speech in Vicksburg?”

 

At that, Sam and Toby released a collective groan.

 

“Josh is actually here for something else,” the blonde replied coolly, evidently the elected spokesman for the party. “They’re supposed to be in Vicksburg for the thing, but we got lost coming in from Jackson and ended up much further south than anticipated.”

 

“Which was Leo’s fault,” Josh clarified. “He’s never been to Mississippi.”

 

“Ah,” Wesley replied with a nod. “Myself, I have only been here on one prior occasion. To this very town, point of fact. If you would like, I could—”

 

Xander stomped on his foot, evoking a shrill gasp from the former Watcher. “You don’t wanna do that,” he quickly advised. “Wes isn’t exactly Galileo when it comes to navigation.”

 

Toby looked ready to open his mouth and comment when a crash sounded from the front of the house. The front door flew open with a struggle, and the smell of slightly scathed leather tinted the air. For the string of heated profanities that followed, the Scoobies released a series of sighs and muttered advanced apologies.

 

All except Buffy, who tensed especially as the peroxide vampire marched intently into view, tossing his blanket aside before anyone could voice a question. His eyes caught hers immediately, but he looked away with much of the same. “Mornin’ all,” he said, nodding before pulling up a seat next to the Slayer. “So kind of everyone to wait.”

 

“Oh God,” the blonde said. “There are three of them.”

 

Spike glanced up, eyes wide. “Three ‘f what?”

 

A pert smile crossed the elder Watcher’s face, and he removed his glasses for a customary polish session. “It seems that Miss Moss, here,” he said, “has an affinity for British men.”


The vampire merely grinned and nodded. “Ah. ‘S nice to meet a crew with good taste. Name’s Spike, luv. What’s yours?”

 

“Donna,” she replied with equal flirtation.

 

Buffy wanted to kick him under the table, but dared not risk it.

 

“Spike?” Josh echoed. “What kind of name is that?”

 

The Cockney merely glanced up and grinned. “No worries, mate,” he replied, “not lookin’ to intrude on your turf. Jus’ introducin’ myself to the lady ‘s’all.”

 

“My turf?”

 

“Spike,” Willow said quickly. “I don’t know if you…well, care…but these guys work in the White House. So…you know…manners.”

 

He favored the Witch with a cocked brow. “Don’ roll out the royal carpet for many, Red. Gotta be more than a glitch in history ‘f you’re lookin’ to impress. ‘Sides, I knew that.” He tilted his head, studying Josh for a minute. “Aren’ you that bloke that invented a secret plan to fight inflation?” He waited until the other man’s face fell accordingly before barking a laugh. “Nice goin’, mate.”

 

That was all the motivation Sam, Toby, and Donna needed to burst out laughing simultaneously.

 

The redhead’s eyes widened respectively at the vampire. “You watch CSPAN?” she demanded.

 

Spike shrugged easily, reaching for the hashbrowns. “On occasion. ‘S usually the bird talkin’, an’ she’s a bloody hoot, so I’ll catch a few minutes ‘f it strikes my whimsy. ‘Sides, Rupes’s flat’s so bleedin’ dull that it makes watchin’ your government funny.”

 

“Can I clarify that I did not invent a secret plan to fight inflation?” Josh demanded. “I was joking with Danny and the press took it seriously.”

 

“Yeah,” Toby replied. “Because there’s only so many ways to interpret, ‘Yes, we have a secret inflation plan.’”

 

Willow turned to Giles. “Spike watches CSPAN and you don’t?”

 

He took her comment in stride but did not reply, his eyes settled instead on the vampire. “My flat is not dull.”

 

“Yeh, from your standpoint. It wasn’ until last week that you stopped chainin’ me up in the tub.”

 

Toby’s eyes widened and Josh was staring at them in all out shock.

 

Buffy chuckled nervously and elbowed the vampire in the side. “That…that’s just some…uhh…British slang. ‘Chains’ and ‘tubs.’ It’s all the craze over there. In…ummm…England.” She met Spike’s gaze, his glittering with amusement. “Isn’t that right?”

 

“Whatever you say, pet.” His eyes landed on her plate and he made a face of disgust. “I swear to God, Slayer, ‘s gonna be your bloody appetite that does you in. Here…” He turned and grasped the serving dish that held the grits and dumped a hearty portion onto her plate. “Try somethin’ new. Won’ kill you.”

 

She glared at him. “Say,” she said loudly without drawing her gaze away. “Is there anything with extra garlic?”

“What,” Josh drawled, wiping his mouth with his napkin. “You gonna cut her meat for her, too?”

 

“Stop it,” Donna intervened. “It’s sweet.”

 

“It is not sweet,” he objected.

 

“All I’m saying is, I wouldn’t mind special treatment like that from my boyfriend.”

 

Buffy glanced up, eyes wide. Giles smothered a snicker. Xander began choking on a piece of bacon. Willow just laughed.

 

To the Slayer’s great surprise, he did nothing to discourage the notion. Rather, Spike apportioned the rest of the grits to himself before reaching for the pancakes. “Sorry to say, pet,” he retorted, “but your honey’s prob’ly too concerned with his hair—or lack thereof—to give much of a damn ‘bout your diet.”

 

“Hey!” Josh yelped, reaching to feather his thinning brown curls at the allegation. “First of all, I’m her boss, not her boyfriend. Second of all, anyone who looks like a walking Ken doll shouldn’t be making jokes about other people’s hair.”

 

“Oh dear,” Giles mumbled with a sigh.

 

“Can I just clarify that Buffy is so not Spike’s girlfriend?” Xander asked, raising his hand.

 

Toby turned his eyes to the Slayer and quirked his head. “Buffy?” he asked.

 

“I know, mate,” Spike said, nodding in agreement. “Rightly awful name.”

 

“So says he whose name is a verb used when someone pours alcohol into punch.”

 

“Nickname,” the vampire retorted darkly. “An’ not exactly how I got it.”

 

Buffy’s gaze widened appropriately. “Spike…”

 

“What? Wanker asked. ‘m tellin’.”

 

“Oh no,” Sam said, trading a sympathetic glance with Giles.

 

However, Toby did not follow up. He merely delivered a long, stern look before breaking off with a dry chuckle. “I cannot tell you,” he said to Josh, “how glad I am that Sam and I are getting out of here today. This is exactly what you deserve.”

 

“We have to give the President the speech,” the younger man clarified.

 

Willow moaned at that. “The President.”

 

“What I deserve?” Josh demanded.

 

“An’ what?” Spike drawled, eyes dancing as he sopped his helping of food with maple syrup. “Curly here not get an invitation to the party?”

 

The Deputy Chief of Staff’s eyes widened. “Curly?”

 

“No, he’s coming,” Sam continued, unhampered. “He just has a thing first.”

 

“A meeting,” Donna clarified.

 

Xander nodded encouragingly. “Oh,” he said, desperate to edge away from the animosity that seemed to follow Spike wherever he went. If nothing else, leaving a good impression with the President’s people seemed to be a plan of reason. “What kind of meeting?”

 

“A meeting of the government,” Josh barked before whirling to Toby. “How do I deserve this?”

 

“After this year? So many reasons.”

 

Giles nodded and cleared his throat, wiping his mouth and scooting his chair away from the table. “We ourselves must be departing as well,” he said, shooting Buffy a long glance. “We’re not exactly here to sightsee.”

 

“Oh,” Donna replied, earnestly interested. “What are you guys here for?”

 

“We’re here to find Faith,” Anya said.

 

“Oh…well…that’s good. Faith’s always a good thing.”

 

“I wouldn’t mind a little faith right now, myself,” Sam agreed, eyes glued to his plate.

 

Spike chuckled wryly, dipping his toast into the pond of syrup he had before him. “Trust me, mate,” he retorted. “You’d mind.”

 

“Sam,” Toby said suddenly, rising to his feet. “Come on. We gotta go.”

 

The man blinked slowly and looked up. “What, now?”

 

“No, of course not. After all, the President’s speech is probably not that important. Just tell me when you would prefer to leave and—”

 

That was all it took. Sam cleared his throat and jumped up. “Right.” He turned his eyes awkwardly back to the table. “Well…it was interesting. And…I hope you are successful in finding your faith, though I might suggest looking at some of the more—”

 

Toby was at the door, staring at him, deadpan. “Sam.”

 

“Right.” The man nodded at Willow. “Again…I didn’t mean—”

 

“Yeah,” she replied. “Yeah. No, it’s okay. It’s really, really okay. I…yeah, it’s okay.”

 

He smiled slightly. “Well, thank you. We have to leave now.”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“So do we,” Josh said, swallowing his last bit of scrambled egg, nodding after the Communications Director as he disappeared from sight. “Gotta drive them to the car place so they can rent another. And then we have the thing.”

 

“The meeting,” Donna intervened, following suit.

 

“The meeting. Of the government. It was…interesting meeting you.”

 

“I’m sorry,” Giles said simply.

 

“’m not,” Spike objected.

 

Buffy kicked him under the table.

 

“Ow! Watch it, Slayer. An’ eat your grits.”

 

Josh and Donna paused at the door and nodded. “Yeah,” the former said. “’Kay.”

 

Then they were gone. The Scoobies sat in awkward silence, staring at the four places that had been abandoned in such a rush that, were they anyone else, they might have had grounds for offense.

 

“Well,” Xander drawled. “We have just discovered the reason we never leave the Hellmouth.”

 

“Because we might run into the President’s guys?” Willow replied.

 

“I didn’t like them,” Anya said. “Their administration is in favor of raising taxes and stealing my money. In a society established on capitalism, how is one supposed to acquire any capital if they are taking my money?”

 

Harris patted his girlfriend on the back. “It’s called democracy, sweetie.”

 

“I don’t like democracy,” she argued. “Communism is so much easier to understand.”

 

“This being the reason they don’t allow former demons to run for office,” Buffy observed before turning her attention to Spike, who was using his last few pieces of pancake to absorb the rest of the syrup. “And the reason we don’t allow vampires to socialize.”

 

He shrugged unapologetically. “I don’ bend over for governmental types,” he replied. “Don’ bend over for anyone, come to think of it.” He paused at that and raised his head to look at her. “But ‘f you really want me to, luv, all you hafta do is ask real nice like.”

 

“Someone remind me why we invited him,” Xander asked.

 

No one had a chance to reply. Sam had popped his head back in, eyes centered on Willow. “I really am sorry if you—”

 

“Sam!” Toby yelled from the front.

 

“Okay,” he continued. “Well…I just…bye.”

 

And that was that.

 

Buffy pursed her lips and glanced to her dumbfounded friend. “So that’s the guy who came onto you?”

 

“He didn’t,” she said slowly. “As he has told me numerous times.”

 

“Still…works for the President. You could do worse.”

 

“Oh, and I’m sure I will.”

 

“Might I remind everyone why we’re here?” Giles asked reasonably. “After that display, and our astounding lack of people skills so radically highlighted, I suggest everyone return to their rooms and prepare to start the search. Willow—”

 

“Location spell?”

 

“If you will.” A long, trembling sigh escaped the elder Watcher, and he removed his glasses. “The sooner we return to Sunnydale, the better.”

 

Buffy licked her lips and nodded in agreement, eating up the last of her grits. That was more than reasonable—the initial weirdness of the morning still hovering over the table like a ready storm cloud, gathering the precipitation in wait for the next meeting.

 

It was that and so much more than that. Something else had happened here.

 

The air thickened and she sat back. Skin tingling with that preemptive knowledge that she was being studied. It took a few seconds, but she eventually realized that she had cleaned her plate and glanced up to meet the vampire’s sparkling eyes.

 

“Told you you’d like ‘em,” he observed. Then, even lower, he added, “Thanks for the blanket, luv.”

 

Heat pooled in her stomach for no reason other than the burn of his eyes. The sultry purr of his voice for words that no one except for her was supposed to hear. Even if nothing suggestive was mentioned. Even if nothing. And, as though nothing of the past half hour had occurred, she was again standing in the living room of the townhouse, watching him as he slept.

 

Oh God.

 

So inconvenient.

 

 

Chapter Eight

 

 

Josh was staring at the car as though watching it would convince it to start.

 

“How did this happen?”

 

He glanced up warily and cocked a brow at Toby.  “Do I look like a mechanic?”

 

The other man wasn’t listening to him, having set into a heated pace across the gravel parking lot at the Winsel House.  Not ten minutes had overlapped since departing the dining room, and somehow between checkout and room inspection—self-imposed to make sure nothing was left behind—the rental car had died.

 

It was the perfect reply to the unasked: What else could go wrong?  And while the Deputy Chief of Staff had been taking everything in stride since leaving Washington, this was the last straw.  The absolute last before the circumstantial bad luck ceased being funny. 

 

“I don’t have time for this,” Toby was saying heatedly.  “We needed to be in Vicksburg yesterday, Josh.  Find out what’s wrong and fix it.”

 

“By all means.  Just explain that to the car and I’m sure everything will work itself out.”  The younger man shook his head.  “And for the last time, Leo’s the one who gave me directions.  You can’t blame me for this.”

 

“Oh, I think I can.  What kind of idiot gets in a car without looking at the map?”

 

Sam sighed and stood from where he was inspecting the replacement tire, just in case it, too, had decided to spontaneously act up.  “Look, Donna is going to call a mechanic as well as the rental agency.  No need to get antsy.  In the meantime, I can go see if one of the guests from breakfast is available to—”

 

“No,” his colleagues snapped simultaneously.

 

The man frowned his displacement.  “Really, I’m sure it’s no bother.  I’ll just go and—”

 

“No,” Josh repeated.  “We’ve had enough of Monty Python’s Flying Circus for one morning.”

 

The Deputy Communications Director frowned.  “Well, that’s…they were a little different, yes, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that—”

 

“Sam, just because you wanna play kissy face with one of them doesn’t make them any less strange.”  Josh sighed heavily and shook his head.  “They were weird and then some.”

 

The younger man shuffled a bit in discomfort, eyes glued to the ground.  “Well…I don’t think that’s fair.”

 

“We have more important things to worry about.”  Josh frowned at the uncooperative vehicle and kicked the front driver’s side tire.  “We have to get you and Toby out of here—now.  Fair or not, the last thing we need right now is help from some wacko religious fanatics.” 

 

The front door to the Winsel House opened and Donna emerged with Xander and Willow at her heel.   

 

Sam’s head quirked and his mouth threatened to give way to a grin.

 

“I described the problem to the rental company,” the blonde greeted as she approached earshot.  “They said it sounded hazardous and not to drive on it—but then said to drive on it about three hours east to the headquarters so they could give us a new car.”

 

Toby’s eyes widened.  “We have to drive three hours in the wrong direction for a new car?”

 

Xander grinned and clapped his hands together.  “Rental car companies.  Gotta love ‘em.  Lucky for you guys, I got an A in Shop, so everyone can just…step aside.”

 

The Communications Director was not impressed.  “What’s the Boy Wonder doing out here?”

 

Donna opened her mouth, but it was Harris who replied, turning promptly as he snatched the keys away from Josh’s waiting hand.  “The Boy Wonder is here to fix the problem.  Xander is my name, cars are my game.  If you’re not a big boy, stand aside.  I’m gonna fix this hunka metal like she’s never been fixed before.”

 

Josh and Toby exchanged a long look.

 

“H-he really is good with cars,” Willow offered with a meek smile.  “Well, actually, I don’t know if I’ve ever seen him…work on a car.”  She frowned and stepped up, tapping her friend’s shoulder.  “Have you ever worked on a car before?”

 

“Well…no.  But I’m guessing my attempts will be far superior to any others.”

 

Sam arched a brow.  “You’ve never worked on a car, but you think you can fix the problem?”

 

“No way,” Toby barked.  “Absolutely not.  We are not so utterly desperate that we’re going to risk you messing up our only mode of transpiration even more so than it is already.  No thank you.  We’ll rent another car.”

 

Willow pursed her lips and offered a sweet smile.  “There are no more cars, Mr. Ziegler,” she explained.  “Because of the…speech…and…President…you know.  Big thing…down here.” She stopped, cheery, false smile growing even larger.  “Sorry?”

 

“And if you’re thinking about calling a mechanic, well, you’re in bad shape,” Harris informed him.  “They’re all out of town.  For the—”

 

“Speech,” Josh supplied.

 

There was a nod of affirmation.  “Right.  So, it looks like the Xan-Man is your man.  Here to at least not make your problem any worse than it already is.”

 

“I thought you guys were on a mission from God or something.”

 

Xander turned to fully face the Deputy Chief of Staff, eyes dancing with his customary humor and all previous apprehension seemingly having dissipated from his person.  “No.  We’re here to find Faith.  As in, girl: not belief.  Mean streak a mile wide.”  He gestured for the main house.  “My lovely but very quirky girlfriend has a way of words and using them in sentences while void of tact or concern as to who is listening.”

 

Sam and Willow’s eyes met and they looked away on the same beat. 

 

“Faith’s a person?” Josh asked.

 

The redhead nodded.  “Yeah.  Long story, don’t wanna get into it.”

 

“She’s a friend,” Xander continued.  “Only not…kind’ve of the psycho persuasion.  A family friend.  Buffy’s insane sister, if you will.  And she was headed this way…we don’t want to get any authorities involved because she’ll react violently to…” He trailed off, glancing to Willow.  “When you said you didn’t wanna get into it, you meant to avoid this, didn’t you?”

 

“Yeah,” she replied with a nod.

 

“Gotcha.”

 

Toby pinched the bridge of his nose and looked to the ground.  “You’re telling me,” he began, “that every mechanic is out of town, every rental car has been rented, we’re stuck an hour and a half away from the President with the speech all these people are going to hear, and you want us to give you our only means of transportation to potentially fuck up even more?”

 

Sam sighed longingly.  “It’s not even a good speech.  Well, the writing’s good, but the content is just filler for the policy change that, honestly, was so minimal that it could’ve been thrown out with the trash on Friday, and—”

 

“I have my laptop with me,” Willow offered.  “If all else fails, you could email the speech to…” She trailed off at the elder man’s look.  “Or, you know…not.”

 

Josh licked his lips and turned back to Xander.  “And you’re the only one out of your entire group who knows even the first thing about mechanics?”

 

He earned a shrug in turn.  “I’m pretty sure Spike does.  Hell, the guy’s been around forever…” A warning look from Willow quickly reminded him that they weren’t talking to resident Hellmouth alums, and he smoothly switched tactic. “But—uhhh—he can’t come out right now.”

 

“What?” Toby asked.  “Is he grounded?”

 

“Sun allergy,” the redhead explained hastily.  “Nasty, nasty sun allergy.  Really…you guys didn’t notice how pale he was?”

 

Donna pouted a bit at that.  “That’s a shame.”

 

Josh’s eyes widened.  “What?  You were seriously attracted to that guy?”

 

Xander stared at her, looking a little sick, himself.  “You’re attracted to Spike?  Can I say gross with a side of bleh?”

 

The blonde glanced to the Witch for help, and they both shrugged on a natural feminine beat to explain a universal truth that American men simply didn’t understand about their women.  “The accent.”

 

Harris just looked at Willow in disgust.

 

“What?” she demanded.  “He might be Spike, but I’m not blind, here.”

 

“Rupert, too,” Donna continued.  “Older men have such sophistication.  He’s older, good looking, and British.  Does a woman really need more?”

 

“She is talking about Giles, right?” Xander whispered loudly.

 

Willow offered a wane smile.  “Again.  Not blind.”

 

Toby rolled his eyes.  “Are we actually standing out here, having this conversation?”

 

“I don’t think we are,” his Deputy replied.

 

“Wesley, too,” Donna added, completely unhampered by interruption.

 

“Oh definitely.”

 

Sam cleared his throat. 

 

“Great,” Josh said unenthusiastically.  “Just great.  Well, while you two are going gaga over Mr. Mattel and the other relatives of Sergeant Pepper, the grown-ups have to worry about the actual problem.  I have a meeting with a Senator in less than twenty minutes in which I’m already going to piss him off enough to change parties.  I really don’t need to add selective tardiness for his reason to—”

 

“I called you a cab,” Donna said before he could get off on more of a tangent than he was already on.  “And yes, before you ask, I mentioned that we might be needing a ride to Vicksburg.”

 

“And?”

 

“No help.”

 

Josh cursed erratically and swung around to kick the tire again.  “Goddamn son of a BITCH, I hate this town.”

 

“I promise you,” Toby replied, “not as much as I do.”

 

“I find the atmosphere rather charming,” Sam offered, taking a look at his surroundings.  “Yes, they are a little behind in the times and it isn’t the cleanest place in the world—but, let’s be honest, neither is Washington—there is a rustic, almost folksy feel to the…” He stopped and took in the foray of stares everyone was giving him.  “But yes.  Highly inconvenient.”

 

Willow grinned, her own apprehension lessening by the minute.  “We can always ask Spike later if Xander can’t help you.”  She swung her arms for a moment and waited for projected criticism, then nodded when no one voiced an objection.  “Okay, well…good luck.”

 

It took the second until she began back toward the house before it registered that she was leaving.

 

“Wait!” Sam called.  “Where are you going?”

 

Josh grinned tightly.  “Kissy face,” he murmured. 

 

A soft smile crossed Willow’s face; it was impossible to tell whether or not she had heard him.  “Buffy and I have some things to do,” she explained.  “We need to familiarize ourselves with the town…get started and such.”  She nodded to her friend.  “Xander will help you.  It’s all one big bag of good.  We’ll be back in a couple hours, I’m guessing.  Okay then.  Bye!”

 

That was that.  She was gone.  And they were left to work.

 

Only that seemed impossible, given everything.

 

Harris walked around the car, glancing upward at Sam’s fleetingly desolate expression with wary objectivity.  “You like her, don’t you?”

 

It took the man a delayed beat of recognition before he realized that he had been addressed.  “What?  I…no, she…I ran into her last night and she…”  He trailed off helplessly.

 

Josh and Toby exchanged a dry, amused glance.

 

“Aww,” Donna cooed, tilting her head.  “That’s so cute.”

 

Sam blinked.  “I don’t—I mean, she’s nice, but I…I just wanted her to know that—”

 

“She knows,” Xander clarified.  “She knows, and then some.  And it’s okay.  Really, she’s had worse.”

 

“I’d imagine so,” Toby replied.  “If your girlfriend is any indication.”

 

Harris’s face dropped.  “Hey.  Line.  Couple steps behind you, pal. There’s nothing wrong with Anya.  She’s a wonderfully—”

 

The air cracked with the whipping slam of the front door as it crashed haphazardly against the outer wall.  An empty beat for breath and then Anya’s shrill, demanding voice filled the morning breeze with all the symptoms of informal defiance.  “Xander Harris!  I want you and your penis in here right now!”

 

“—insane person that I’ve never seen before in my life,” he concluded without missing a beat, avoiding the foray of awkward amused stares that he received in turn.  “So…you all are having car trouble, huh?”

 

Josh turned to the Deputy Communications Director as their makeshift mechanic began his inspection by examining the ignition.  “We need to call Charlie,” he said, “and tell him that the President will be receiving the speech through email.  Also, CJ will need to make sure the meetings throughout the week are cancelled and that Ed and Larry have the numbers by Friday, even if we’re not there to bug them every five minutes.”

 

There was a nod as Xander pulled the radio knob off and landed on the car horn.  “I’ll go see if my phone is charged,” Sam said.

 

*~*~*

 

It was like watching a trained chimp juggle hot coals.

 

Spike was seated by the far window, observing with an eye of great humor as Xander began sputtering an endless stream of automotive jargon—some authentic, most not—as he attempted another venue of approach. It was more than manifest that the boy had absolutely no grasp on what he was doing; it amazed the vampire that one of the men had not stepped in to put an end to this highly entertaining mess before the situation escalated to irreparable proportions. 

 

Of course, story went that these blokes didn’t know how to change a tire.  Harris was on common ground.

 

A long sigh hissed through Spike’s lips as he tossed a sideways glance to the blanket draped across the sofa’s arm. Waking in warmth was not something he was accustomed to.  He was, after all, a vampire, and vampires weren’t greatly known for their affinity for comfort.  Most lived underground—in crypts or crypt-like establishments.  A few broke the pattern, but not many.  Vampires were creatures of cold and dark.  This morning, he had awoken in light and surrounded with warmth. 

 

With Buffy’s warmth.

 

The last few days had been a jumble of mixed signals and jilted confusion.  Days since awakening, since what had occurred at the Bronze, and he kept waiting for it to end.  This candor unknowing.  The niceties.  The honest trade that was so casual that he could nearly call it friendly.  Buffy was a difficult woman to figure out, and he had always thought himself particularly talented with women.  After all, his study had over a century to its credit.  There hadn’t been a woman that remained shrouded in perpetual mystery until her.  Even Drusilla, with her shadowed mind and dazed riddles that needed untangling before logic could be made…he had known her.  Understood her better than any before him.

 

Reflections of his dark princess were few and far between now.  That was something he had never thought would happen, especially for one such as the Slayer.  These thoughts he was entertaining were unforgivable for his kind, but no less had in any regard.  With her, there was something he had never had before.  He simply had yet to name it.

 

They had been enemies for so long.

 

Not now.  Not anymore.

 

Something had changed.  They had changed.  They were changing together.  He knew it, she knew it, and they were drawn to an irreprehensible standstill.  They didn’t know how to behave with each other.  What had been before couldn’t be now.  He knew; he had tried it.  Irritating Buffy now nearly seemed to offend her rather than annoy.  They had argued about music on the way up without the usual verve that sparkled their debates.  Nearly forced.  Arguments that were more out of obligation rather than disagreement.  It was embarrassing but necessary.  If they weren’t enemies, they weren’t anything.

 

And for whatever reason, Spike couldn’t live with that.

 

It was just strange.  He didn’t know what to expect.  The Buffy he had once known would never have let him this close.  Not into her group.  Not into her quarters.  Not into her life.

 

This Buffy was reserved, nearly shy around him.  She had placed a pillow under his head and a blanket over his body.  This Buffy hadn’t corrected the allegation that they were more than friends—she hadn’t endorsed it, but she hadn’t corrected it.  This Buffy had flared a spark of jealousy when he turned a cheeky eye to the lovely Donna Moss.  This Buffy cared.

 

Cared about him.

 

Nights were still plagued with the thought of her—now more than ever.  Since the Bronze, it was unavoidable.  And the way she looked at him after…in the cemetery, talking to him as though he mattered.  Reaching her on levels that he never thought to measure up to. 

 

Touching her.  Getting to know her.  Getting to know Buffy.

 

Erotic dreams were not enough anymore.  These housing arrangements were driving him crazy with blissful torment.  Knowing that she slept just a few feet away.  Knowing that the fortress of protection that had once kept him out was finally lowering its bridge.  It was like coming home to a place he hadn’t known to miss.  Grasping something he had never wanted but now could not live without.  Slipping away just a little more each day into something familiar but unrecognizable.  Slowly falling into her.

 

There had never been anything but hate between them, and until a couple short weeks before, he had never allowed himself to entertain the thought.  Of course, that didn’t mean these carnal feelings were necessarily new; he had always favored her in the way a man favors a woman.  He was only a guy, after all.  No—the attraction had always been there. 

 

The other, though.  The feeling, or the want of…that was new.  And terrifying.

 

And powerful.  So powerful.

 

The door separating her room from the den suddenly flew open, and Buffy walked out.  A vision.  A golden Aphrodite, if he had ever seen one.  Spike cleared his throat with disorderly inelegance and settled back onto the sofa, turning his attention to the telly.  It was halfway through a two-episode run of Gilligan’s Island, though personally, he was waiting for Andy Griffith.  Daytime television never did anything for him; while here, he was a virtual prisoner.  At least in Sunnydale he could navigate in sunlight when he wished it so.  He didn’t know Natchez.  Not yet.

 

But something told him that would change.

 

A small smile crossed the Slayer’s face as she took in the program he was pretending to watch, her hands busy trying to fix an earring.  “You look captivated,” she said.

 

Spike’s eyes softened imperceptibly.  “One of the great mysteries in life,” he commented, nodding at the screen.  “What exactly does the Skipper mean when he calls Gilligan his li’l buddy?”  He grinned as a chuckle froze in her throat.  “Might as well dedicate myself to an hour or so of research while ‘m stuck here, right?”

 

“Yeah,” she agreed.  “Because the world is really being threatened by Bob Denver.”

 

“Never say never, pet.”  His eyes sized her up immodestly, partly for his personal pleasure, partly to get her reaction.  When she didn’t stomp over and smack him, he had to fight a laugh of victory from escaping his lips.  It was this that he was living for now.  The little things.  The signs of possible something-more that she gave him without making a sound.  Without doing anything that exceeded simply being.  “Goin’ somewhere?”

 

A sliver of disappointment ran down his spine when she nodded.  While it was foolish to hope, especially given the grounds of their arrangement, he had been hoping for more time just to explore whatever this was between them.  He was stuck here all day—it didn’t seem so radical to want company until the sun went down.

 

The fact that he wanted hers exclusively was an entirely separate matter.

 

“Yeah,” she replied.  “Will and I are gonna start familiarizing ourselves with the town, figure out the feel…basic stuff.  Then tonight, you and me hit patrol.”

 

“Patrol?”

 

“Faith-search, more or less.”  Buffy shrugged.  “We might also try to hit a cemetery or two if it’s slow or whatnot.”

 

“’d like a look ‘round town, myself,” he agreed. 

 

“Well, if we see anything really interesting, you and I can go back by tonight.”  His eyes widened and her cheeks flushed; she coughed something hastily and looked down.  “Ummm…but yeah.  Ummm…have you…did Xander come by here?  I was gonna have him…uhh…do something.”

 

Spike smiled and tossed a quick glance out the window.  Harris’s front was covered with oil and Toby was hitting the hood of the vehicle with what appeared to be a large branch.  “The blokes that work in the White House’re havin’ some car trouble,” he said.  “Stay Puft’s lendin’ a hand.”

 

“What?  He—”

 

“An’ judgin’ by the dent that Ziegler git’s leavin’ in the hood, his help’s not appreciated.”  Spike turned back, shaking his head.  “Y’think you can drop by the butcher while you’re out, luv?  Stomach’s makin’ all kind of gurglies.”

 

“You ate breakfast.”

 

“Yeh.  An’ it was good.  Jus’ not what I need.”

 

A sigh hissed through her lips.  He couldn’t tell if she was irritated or not, but didn’t care much either way at the moment.  It was what he was—he couldn’t help that.  “Right.  If I find one, sure.  Anything else?”

 

There it was.  That blessed edge to the tone.  A palpable look of relief overwhelmed her with reassurance.  As though it was water and she was seconds away from dying of thirst.

 

Time to knock her off her horse.

 

Spike smiled again and rose slowly to his feet, ever aware of her pounding heart.  The delicious way her pulse increased with every step he took toward her.  The battle raging behind her eyes between two common enemies.  He didn’t know what he wanted at that moment.  All remained hidden behind a line of ambiguity.

 

“Yeh,” he murmured.  “Thanks for the pillow, too.”

 

And that was it.  Her gaze kept his for a minute longer before she swallowed hard and covered the space between herself and the door in short, hurried moves.  She seemed to hesitate before disappearing on the other side but was soon gone.  Gone and waiting on the porch.  In the sunlight, where he could not reach her.

 

He was not dismayed.  It had been there.  Something had been there.

 

Something he wanted more than he had wanted anything.  Something…

 

For all else, it would be reserved until tonight.  Patrol with her tonight.

 

A smile drew across his lips.  He couldn’t wait.

 

*~*~*

 

It took almost two full minutes for Buffy to gather her bearings.  Standing on the wooden porch, hands on the railing.  She had absolutely no idea what had happened inside.  Nothing, if one was looking at the trade objectively.  Nothing to work herself up about.  Nothing.

 

But that was just it.  There was never nothing where they were concerned.  She and Spike either fought or they didn’t.  This…this was something else entirely.

 

It was wrong.  It couldn’t happen anymore.  Ever.

 

“This has to end,” she murmured. 

 

And it would.  It would. 

 

Because it was Spike.  Honestly, how long could he possibly keep this up? How long could she? 

 

It couldn’t last.  It just couldn’t.  They both knew it. 

 

Somehow, that thought wasn’t as gratifying as it should have been.

 

 

Chapter Nine

 

 

Buffy collapsed tiredly into the non-comfort of the Magnolia Grill’s hard oak chair with a deep yawn that took more out of her than she had been expecting. Times like these, she wondered if the reason Slayers had short life spans was due to the wear on their immune system. A blatant exploitation of what happens when people expect the most plus ten out of their so-called defenders.

 

She was wiped.

 

Willow dropped her shoulder-bag into the neighboring chair and reached up to draw loose strands of hair from her sweat-laced brow. “Order me a big glass of water, ‘kay?”

 

The Slayer nodded her sympathy. Where she was wiped, she was amazed that her friend was even standing. The Witch was in no means out of shape, but she similarly remained unaccustomed to enforcing the full of her physical energy on running around as much as they had without a break; not to mention in humidity that was a few state lines south of where they were used to. Sunnydale could be hot; Natchez was a sauna.

 

“You want anything else?”

 

Willow shrugged. “Just whatever you get.” Then she was off, sprinting to the nearest waitress in search for directions to the ladies restroom.

 

Buffy released a long sigh and reached for the basket filled with complimentary salad crackers. The day thus far had entailed a ceaseless familiarization of the town, completely on foot as the only other means of free transportation would involve one of them manning the Winnebago. Naturally, they had to remain in certain sectors without venturing too far out; Natchez wasn’t a large town, but compared to Sunnydale, it might as well have been a metropolis.

 

There was no sign of Faith anywhere. No help from the locals or tourists. Not that they ran into many: while the town itself was hardly barren, the speech in Vicksburg had notably seized the bulk of their tourism, driving everyone of every persuasion out just to hear what the President had to say.

 

Partisanship down here was noted. She saw it everywhere she went, and given the nature of the temperament, it was amazing that any of the very right-wingers wanted to hear what a liberal administration had to say outside a need to ridicule. The national attention was likely just as big a draw. For such a small event in a year not controlled by any dominant campaign, the stop was certainly getting more local attention than she reckoned anyone in the White House had anticipated.

 

But that was another matter altogether. She had a Slayer to catch. And nowhere within the bounds of this very small town to start.

 

Given perimeters, finding Faith should hardly pose a challenge.

 

And yet.

 

She and Willow had passed many grandiose homes modeled with late nineteenth century ideals. The conditions nearly suggested that they had stepped through a time theorem. The people they met were nothing but friendly, of course; somewhere between the stereotypical southern hospitality and characteristics that made them real. And on the same beat, there was the notable pride smothered in the candor of everyday life. The residents of Natchez were proud of their heritage—so much that anything else was an insult seemingly punishable by death.

 

Buffy reached for her third packet of crackers and barely had time to nibble on the first before the entrance of the Grill opened and the blonde from breakfast stepped inside.

 

Small world.

 

Well, not really. From what Willow had said, the woman’s boss—that Josh guy—had a meeting with a Senator about something or other, and likely left her to herself; on call or the like. She appeared alone and more than a little lost; uncomfortable and unsure. Surveying her prospects and quite evidently wishing herself miles away.

 

The Slayer licked her lips, appalled at the sudden flurry of dislike that twisted her insides. While there was nothing to suggest it, Spike had turned an eye of favor in the blonde’s direction earlier. An eye of favor—nothing more. Nothing to found a basis of aversion for someone she didn’t know, especially for reasons she couldn’t yet admit to herself. There was a feeling. A deep furrowing parasite that gnawed at her insides. It was gross and unseemly—more than unfair, but there was nothing she could do about it. And its route remained shrouded in mystery.

 

Then again: not entirely. Not at all, really. There was the other. Acknowledging her jealousy over a non-event was dangerous ground. Buffy-logic, when it came to competition, had never been clear or…well, logical. But more importantly—when had she registered herself in a tournament for Spike’s affection? There was nothing there that she wanted. Nothing she would allow herself to want. Not now—not with who she was; who he was. It simply wasn’t an option.

 

A long sigh hissed through the air. Uh huh. Yeah, keep telling yourself that.

 

This was getting nowhere fast.

 

In the end, Buffy couldn’t let her conscience allow someone she didn’t know enough to merit personal dislike sit uncomfortably by herself only on the basis of a vampire’s alleged affections. Especially since she so didn’t want to claim them for herself. Thus, as the waitress instructed the blonde to sit wherever she cared to, the Slayer sat up and called, “Hey!” as loud as she could.

 

It wasn’t the most sophisticated form of greeting, but it seemed to get the job done. The blonde’s face fell immediately to relief and she flashed a grateful smile. “Hey…Buffy, right?”

 

The Slayer smiled back and nodded, wishing she had exhibited enough tact to remember her name in turn. “She’s with us,” she explained to the server, clarifying any ambiguities to the extent of open invitation.

 

The woman’s gratitude failed to waver. She regarded Buffy as though she was her personal savior. Which really, not too far off the mark, but the Slayer would keep that to herself.

 

“Anything to drink?” the server asked.

 

“Water,” Buffy replied, nodding at Willow’s vacant seat. “Both of us.”

 

The waitress nodded and turned back to the blonde. “And for you, ma’am?”

 

“I’ve heard that you have the best bread pudding in town.”

 

That comment seemed to please and earned an enthusiastic nod. “You heard right. Best in town. Guaran-damn-teed, or I’m sure we can work in an all-out refund.”

 

“Great! I’ll take that and a cup of coffee.” The blonde flashed Buffy another smile, shrugging her business jacket off with a look of furthered reprieve. “I’ve been dying for bread pudding since we got here.”

 

“That sounds good,” the Slayer agreed. “I’ll take two.” She again nodded to Willow’s seat. “And a glass of diet coke.”

 

“No water, then?”

 

“Oh no. Bring the water. We’ll drink anything you put in front of us…within reason.”

 

The waitress nodded cheerily and hurried off to turn in the order.

 

“Thank you so much,” the blonde said with every bit as much gratitude in her voice as there was in her eyes. “Josh thought his meeting would last twenty minutes or so and it’s been nearly two hours. I’ve been wandering around for…well, let’s just say, I’m going to try to implement the idea of Casual Friday into every workday from now on if it means never looking at heels again.”

 

“You look too tall to wear heels.”

 

“If you knew CJ, you’d know how very incorrect that assumption is.” The woman smiled again and flashed her eyes to the table. “So…what do you do?”

 

Buffy shrugged and bit back the instinctual save the world answer that she was sorely tempted to throw in the face of any self-righteous politician. However, it was more than obvious that present company was a few steps away from meriting any such label. And, if she wanted to be perfectly honest, so were her traveling companions upon first assessment. “I’m a student at UC Sunnydale,” she replied. “Freshman.”

 

“Oh my God, right out of high school?” The woman’s eyes widened in admiration. “No wonder you look so young!”

 

“That compliment territory?”

 

“Oh yes. Spoken only with the highest envy.” She paused thoughtfully. “Though, words of wisdom—and hear me out—find and stick with a major, make sure you graduate, and under any circumstance never move in with a deadbeat boyfriend who wants you to front all the cash in the relationship and eventually forces you to drop out of school.” Another pause. “And after you breakup, never go back to him. Because then on the anniversary of which you came to your senses, your boss will never, ever let you live it down.”

 

Buffy nodded, brows arched. “Personal experience?”

 

The woman waved dismissively. “It’s a thing. I’m sure dozens of other kids have told you the same.”

 

“Check one for extremely no.” The Slayer smiled as her gaze directed her to the approaching redhead, whose countenance looked much relieved from her opportunity to freshen up. More over, she seemed genuinely pleased to have the other woman joining them. “Hey, Will. Thought for a minute that you had fallen in.”

 

The Witch shook her head. “Do people actually find that funny?”

 

“There’s a distinct possibility.”

 

“Sad world.” She turned with a bright grin to their guest. “Hey, Donna! Did Mr. Lyman’s meeting go all right?”

 

“He’s still in it—and really, I must stress this—there is absolutely no reason to call him Mr. Lyman.”

 

Willow laughed heartily at that—surprising her friend for the frank openness of her esteem. The redhead’s enthusiasm was nothing but relief. Nowadays it seemed beyond the realm of possibility when it came to making her happy, in any regard.

 

Then again, heartbreak could do that. Buffy had learned that lesson the hard way, and well. However, in the namesake of consistency, days and nights were no longer filled with longings for Angel. In a span of just a few months, she had gone from utter despair to simple resignation. Thoughts of her first love had somehow dwindled to nearly fond reflection. There were still mixed feelings, but the love she had so fervently felt was gone. Gone with such abrupt punctuation that she nearly lent herself pause at the depth of emotion that had been there in the first place. So heavy and then gone. That wasn’t normal, was it? Not for outstanding, earth-stopping, time-bendy love. Right?

 

But it was. It was gone. She missed Angel, to be sure. But not for love. Not for love for some time now.

 

Not since…

 

Buffy bit her lip and shook her head. There was absolutely no way that Spike had anything to do with it. Huh uh. Out of the question. Can I see the number of ways in which that is incorrect, Alex?

 

“So, Willow told me that your boyfriend has a sun allergy,” Donna said, snapping her back to the present. “That’s such a shame.”

 

The Slayer blinked. “Huh? My what?”

 

Willow’s eyes went wide and her mouth dropped open to contest, but she didn’t make it very far.

 

“Your boyfriend…or is he not? The guy at breakfast that goes by Spike.” There was a non-predatory-but-interested look in Donna’s eyes that Buffy did not trust at all. “I know there was some confusion…but Willow said he has a sun allergy.”

 

“Spike’s not Buffy’s boyfriend,” the Witch announced, flashing her friend an apologetic smile. “Oh no. He and Buffy hate each other. You could…umm…almost call them mortal enemies. Polar opposites. The sun isn’t shining here, Mr. Giraffe.”

 

Buffy wanted to kick her but didn’t dare. The last thing her confused mind needed was further incentive for future random bouts of jealousy. Besides, she was so not jealous. Not of Donna and her crush on the evil, soulless vampire. That just wasn’t happening. Not in this century.

 

I am so screwed.

 

Donna’s head tilted sympathetically. “Oh. Oh. That’s too bad. He seems—”

 

Okay. That was it. The last thing she needed to know was how Spike seemed to women who were not—oh say—her.

 

“We…hate is such a strong, bitter…word.” Buffy pointedly ignored the questioning glance that Willow sent her in turn. “I wouldn’t say we hate each other so much as—”

 

“Loathe one another with the fire of a thousand suns?” the redhead suggested, cautiously exploratory.

 

The temptation to kick her was growing harder to resist.

 

“We’ve been…uhh…” The Slayer flushed and dropped her eyes to the table. “Getting along…since…we’ve just been getting along.”

 

Thanks for the blanket, luv.

 

For what it was worth, Donna seemed to take the hint and nodded wisely before Willow could make another observation. There were some things that it took complete strangers to see, and while Buffy refused to acknowledge anything of the sort, she couldn’t help but be grateful at the other woman’s compassion.

 

“So,” the Slayer continued, leaning back as their order arrived. Regardless of appearance, she was eager to get the topic on safer ground. “What’s Mr. Lym…Josh’s meeting about? Or can’t you tell us?”

 

Donna nodded. “It’s not a government conspiracy or anything. They don’t tell me those. There is a very liberal senator from Illinois, originally from here—hence the location of the meeting—who contributes mass amounts of support to the President, as well as Democratic leadership in the House and Senate. He might be named Minority Whip after the midterms. Anyway, he has proposed a bill that’s riding his support because it…well, it’s trying to ban the display of the Confederate flag basically everywhere. Cars, buildings, merchandise—the works.” She glanced down. “Our numbers show that if the bill passed, it would be a move in the right direction as far as Civil Rights, but it also challenges—”

 

“The first amendment,” Willow murmured.

 

“That’s the big argument. Everything else is politics.” Donna dug into her bread pudding; her eyes rolled back and she made a sound of distinct approval. “Oh my God. I didn’t know that something could taste that good.”

 

Buffy nodded in agreement. “It’s delicious.”

 

“So this bill isn’t going to pass?” the redhead demanded.

 

“It can’t. We know it can’t, and Senator Davis knows it can’t.” She rolled her eyes. “You wouldn’t believe how many times Josh has said that in the past week. Anyway, the real reason we’re here is to explain why the White House won’t support the bill. We’re having to sit on this one. We can’t afford to anger African-Americans or the NRA.”

 

“NRA?” Buffy was lost.

 

“Go hand-in-hand with the KKK in some regions,” Willow explained. “Some being the word there…not all. And they’d be one of the main groups offended if the bill received support.”

 

“The South on a whole would be offended,” Donna clarified. “And as has also been the motto this week, losing the South is a political no-no. Besides, we’d also risk losing everyone else who agrees with a strict view of the Bill of Rights. But, on the other hand, we’re—at the same time—offending African Americans by not supporting a cause that would remove a public reminder of their historically economical and socially accepted second-class citizenship. And we can’t do that.” She shook her head. “But Sam is right. Leaving that flag up is wrong. It’s just wrong. We’re above this. The President and Josh and…well, everybody. We’re above this.”

 

A smile quirked Willow’s mouth. “Sam?”

 

“He’s been reciting passages from the Declaration of Independence at random. ‘We hold these truths to be self-evident that all men are created equal.’” She grinned. “It was really cute the other day; he said it, then realized that the passage says men without mention to women, and he started arguing with Thomas Jefferson out loud after he apologized to Bonnie and me.”

 

Buffy grinned lightly. “Willow’s crushing on Sam,” she said. “She doesn’t wanna admit it, but she is.”

 

“I am not!”

 

“See?”

 

Donna adapted a similarly devious look and chuckled. “Sam’s a good one to crush on,” she agreed. “And as CJ has noted on more than one occasion, he can wear a tuxedo—and well.”

 

“I am not crushing on Sam!”

 

“Oh, come on, Will,” Buffy teased. “You’re telling me that his big puppy-dog eyes and numerous apologies just don’t do anything for you?”

 

“I don’t know,” the redhead replied firmly. “Why don’t you go back to telling us how you and Spike don’t hate each other anymore?”

 

Donna’s brows perked.

 

Buffy just paled and stared at her plate. “This really is good bread pudding,” she decided. And said nothing more on the subject.

 

*~*~*

 

“Scotch. Straight. I see ice, and we’re gonna have a problem.”

 

The barkeep nodded and gave him a look that clearly defined offense at the implication that he couldn’t pour a straight glass of Scotch. But Toby didn’t care. He rarely did when it came to such things.

 

“This really is quite good,” Giles said, flipping to the third page of the President’s Vicksburg speech with a nod of acknowledgement. “Really, I don’t come across modern writers with such a grasp of the language all too often. Most remarkable. Your diction is flawless and…this is just very good.”

 

“Get this man a Scotch, too.” Toby sighed and rested his head against his palm. “Yeah. Shame no one will get to hear it.”

 

“I thought Willow offered to lend you use of her laptop.”

 

A small smile quirked his mouth. “You don’t understand the process in which the President prepares for a speech,” he said. “It’s rare if we have the actual final draft to him within two minutes of the address.”

 

Giles frowned at that. “Really? I wouldn’t have thought.”

 

“He covers it well.” A pause. A drink. Another. “Most of the time.”

 

“I have always been impressed. Granted, my line of work doesn’t give me much chance to pay attention to American politics, but when I do, I am never disappointed.” The Watcher glanced down. “I meant to catch the Inauguration speech, but we were a tad busy that year.”

 

“There have been several since then.”

 

“We’re a tad busy every year.”

 

“What do you do?”

 

Well, wasn’t that the question of the hour? Giles sighed heavily and tossed his head back with his drink, his glass meeting the counter with more force than he intended. What did he do? Right now—at this moment—nothing. Nothing whatsoever.

 

And when he tried to do something, it resulted in the mess that was that morning.

 

“Well, in Laymen’s terms, I suppose you can say that I play the part of chaperone for a group of high school graduates who still behave like children while simultaneously regarding me as a guidance counselor, thus demanding leadership and support.” Giles tossed Toby a wry glance. “I love them all, understand. No father could be prouder. And, all complaints aside I daresay that this has been one of our more successful outings.”

 

He earned a long, hard stare in turn.

 

“Get this man another Scotch.”

 

*~*~*

 

It was nearing sunset, and Buffy had not returned.

 

Spike had utilized the falling shade to bolt from their accommodations to the main house the minute that his senses told him he would not fry in result. There were enclosed spaces; then there was the townhouse. His living quarters were comfortable enough but much too confining for his taste. And he couldn’t risk taking a step in the place for fear of being overwhelmed with the Slayer’s fragrance.

 

Not that such displeased him. With every breath, he wanted her more.

 

And therein was the problem. Buffy was off limits to him.

 

Or she had been. He had no idea of the ground they stood upon. She was a perpetual enigma. Always had him guessing. Contemplating. And oh god, craving. There were times when he could reach out and touch her; that was something he had never had before. With every beat, she was that much closer to meeting him halfway. Their trade earlier today notwithstanding. And now she wanted to go patrolling with him. She could have gone with anyone else, but she chose him.

 

Logic told him that his vampiric skills were being exploited. Hope told him that she had different cause altogether.

 

And time told him that the sun was nearing the horizon and she was not back.

 

Not home. Not with him.

 

Not with him in a town that harbored one seriously pissed off rogue Slayer who had a nasty vendetta against his girl. Where Buffy was out in the daylight with no one but a witch whose powers were sometimes highlighted as more than hazardous. She was gone when she should have been back.

 

And hell if he was going to sit around here and wait. If she was in danger, the time to act had already passed. Which was exactly what he told himself before an incredibly greasy and sun-whipped Xander Harris came in through the front, wiping his nose with the back of an oil-stained hand.

 

“I might have been overstating it when I said the Xan-Man was their man,” he greeted, shaking his head. “Sam’s about ready to beat me over the head with the car-jack.”

 

Spike perked a cool brow. “Thought the bird said they din’t have one.”

 

“That was last night. Anyway, I am here on an act of protest to request with extreme diplomacy that you move your pale ass outside and give us a hand.” He quirked a brow and shifted uncomfortably. “I don’t want to be the reason the President of the United States doesn’t have a speech. And I don’t know them very well, but I can already tell that I’m in trouble if Sam’s the one giving me the ultimatum.”

 

There was a snicker at that. “Sorry, mate. Wish I could help, but I don’ care very much. ‘Sides, case it slipped your notice, the Slayer’s not back yet from her merry outin’. ‘m on my way out.”

 

Xander blinked. “To what?”

 

“Find the Slayer.”

 

“Why? She’s out with Willow.”

 

Spike nodded slowly, waiting for him to catch on. “Yeh. In a town she doesn’ know where a bird she doesn’ like is hidin’ out with the means of god-knows-what. You’re s’posed to be her chum, Stay Puft. You do the bloody math.” He paused again. “Well, you wouldn’t want your bird out there alone, would you?”

 

“Anya’s shopping. I don’t really think Faith’s looking to hit the strip malls.”

 

“That’s not the bloody point, an’ you damn well know it!”

 

The air hung around them in a long, unsettling silence.

 

“Are you worried about her?”

 

The Cockney’s eyes widened in a classic moment of deer-in-headlights. “What? What? ‘Course not. She’s the Slayer, you git. Vampire, remember? Don’ exactly make habit ‘bout worryin’ over their mortal enemies. Jus’ din’t wanna miss the action, s’all. Bound to be a keeper. Hope the bird trips her intestines out.”

 

Xander just looked at him.

 

“An’ then shoves ‘em down her throat.”

 

“And people wonder why I question the here-ness that is you.” Harris shook his head and turned around to march back outside. “Buffy has never not kicked Faith’s ass, so any gratification you’re looking to get in seeing another Slayer do what you can’t is out of the question, pal. Buffy’s going to open a can and then some. And then she’ll come to her senses, realize that you’re nothing but a colossal waste of space that never gave a damn—vengeance or not—and do what she should’ve done months ago and stake you once and for all. Now, in the meantime, I have to go be helpful.”

 

“Oh,” the vampire retorted. “You mean by bollixing up their car even more?”

 

Xander stopped and turned in the doorway, gaze shadowy. “Go to hell, Spike.”

 

Then he was gone, rendering the other useless in ways that he couldn’t even begin to fathom.

 

So, leaving was now out of the question. He had pretty much made that clear.

 

And Buffy was still out there.

 

“Trust me, Small Bread,” Spike said, striking a cigarette as he collapsed into one of the lobby’s sofas, eyes glistening at the window as they sky grew darker by the minute. “’m already there.”

 

*~*~*

 

“I could’ve done that,” Giles decided, slamming his drink onto the hard copy of the speech again, ignoring the way Toby was glaring at him. “I could’ve written, you know. Always received high marks in school. Wrote a play, once. Never got anywhere. I wanted to do a lot of things. Fighter pilot. I would’ve been a fantastic fighter pilot.” He paused, taking another drink. “Or a grocer. You’d be amazed at how fast you learn to bag things when there are pieces of demon just lying around you. That’s the trouble with Buffy—she never cleans up her messes.” He turned to the Communications Director, eyes fogged over. “I mean, how would you feel if you tripped over the head of a Djorstik? Nasty species. Though there are many theologissssts that think they invented the toaster. Isn’t that strange? The toaster.”

 

He received nothing but a stare in turn, but was far too passed the brink of inebriation to notice or care.

 

“Yes, sir. I could’ve done a lot of things. But no…have to be a Watcher. Have to uphold family tradition. Told my dad to stuff it, which didn’t do much good. Buffy says this job didn’t choose me like hers chose her. Bloody bollocks, that’s what I have to say to that.” He took a minute as the barkeep refilled his drink, something that Toby had been trying unsuccessfully to discourage for the better of an hour. “If she thinks I wanted to spend my adult life training adolescent girls to save the world…not that saving the world is a bad thing. No. No Watcher could be prouder of his Slayer. She’s the best, you know. The bloody best of all of ‘em. She got an umbrella that said so. No other Slayer got an umbrella. No, my friend. Just mine.”

 

Toby sighed and motioned for another round. If he couldn’t get the man to shut up, perhaps he could drink him to death.

 

*~*~*

 

“Would you guys stop? I’m not saying I don’t think Sam is good looking. I’m just not attracted to him.”

 

“Then, quite frankly Will, I’m worried about you.” The Slayer offered a luxuriant laugh. “Is it because he’s too tall? I know Oz was short, but trust me, dating a guy who has a few inches to the advantage isn’t a bad thing.”

 

“As you would know from experience,” the redhead retorted.

 

Donna was just staring at them. “Do I even want to know?”

 

The two girls stopped and looked at her. Then realization struck.

 

“In height,” Buffy stressed, eyes wide. “Height. My ex-boyfriend was tall. Very tall. And, as you can tell, I am very not. I was talking about height. Nothing else.”

 

The Witch grinned teasingly. “Oh. Are you saying that Angel lacked in a certain department?”

 

“Willow!”

 

“Angel?”

 

“His real name was Liam,” the Slayer explained with a pout.

 

Donna shook her head and smiled. “Don’t tell that to Josh. He was already going on about your names and how all of your parents must have been hippies.” She paused a second later, gaze large and apologetic. “I don’t mean—”

 

Willow shrugged. “Don’t worry about it. Hell, I’m named after a tree.”

 

“My real name’s Elizabeth,” the Slayer offered meekly. “And Spike’s real name is William.”

 

Donna tilted her head in consideration. “That’s a nice name.”

 

Buffy wanted to agree but didn’t dare open her mouth. She had risked enough strange looks from Willow tonight. It didn’t matter, though. The blonde had switched tactics the next minute, shifting up as her gaze fell to her plate.

 

“We need more bread pudding over here.”

 

The Slayer’s eyes bulged. “Umm, no thanks. I don’t think I’m going to eat again for the rest of my life. That stuff is rich.”

 

“Yes, and I’m poor, so I like the taste. Might as well enjoy it while I can.”

 

A smile crossed her face. “Well, when you put it that way…”

 

*~*~*

 

Spike sat up with hope that rose and died in one fell swoop. The scent hit him just seconds before Josh Lyman stomped into the lobby of the Winsel House, soaked with rain and looking more than a little irate.

 

“This is what I don’t understand,” he announced to anyone who happened to be nearby. “Rhodes Scholar, graduate of Harvard with a Masters in Humanities and a Bachelors in Political Science—yes, that’s right: both—worked as a political analyst before he got to Congress, wrote two books on the correlation of white and black America along with multiple articles in the Post and the Times about the dangers in the radical approach to racism. The man’s a political star rising to the top faster than any mind of the modern world and doesn’t understand why the White House can’t support a bill that takes the first amendment and puts it in the shredder.” He took a minute to kick the wall, ignoring the rough warning from the owners, from the back where they were preparing supper for themselves. Instead, he whirled back to the vampire, who was reclining comfortably, watching him with dry amusement while keeping his senses on high alert. “The man compared the Confederate Flag to the Swastika while ignoring the fact that the Nazis were in Germany and we don’t have any laws that prevent it from being waved around. You know what the Swastika means?”

 

Spike’s brows perked. “Other than—”

 

“It means good luck. It’s a cross, for God’s sake.”

 

“’S rainin’ outside?” the vampire intervened, taking in the man’s appearance. “Din’t sm—sound like it. Usually have good—”

 

“Just on the other side of town, naturally.” That didn’t keep his mind occupied long enough. “And yes, I take high offense to it being waved around. Of course I do! The President does, too, and he’s not even Jewish.” Josh shook his head. “But we don’t have any laws against it. The KKK as mandated by the Constitution have just as much right to be here as Neo Nazis and other radical extremists that would just as soon overthrow the government as take in an afternoon matinee. That’s democracy’s fault, my friend. Not mine, and certainly not our administration.”

 

“Right, ‘cause when there’s a problem, the last person the country needs to look to ‘s their leader.” He chuckled wryly and threw his hands up in neutrality when he received a cold stare in rejoinder. “’m stayin’ out of this, mate. An’ for the record, the Nazis were sloppy. They…” He stopped again. “Never really fancied ‘em.”

 

“Glad to hear it.” Finally, the man started to calm down, dropping his backpack to the floor and running his hands through his hair. “Where’s Donna?”

 

Spike shrugged. “Haven’t seen her. ‘ve been waitin’ for the Slayer, myself.”

 

“The Slayer?”

 

“Buffy.”

 

Josh just looked at him for a minute. “You two have cute nicknames for each other, you do.” He released a deep breath and dug out his cell. “I need to reach Donna. Time for us to get the hell out of here and back to where things matter.”

 

“’F you’re lookin’ to skip town with that hunka metal outside, you’re outta luck, Curly.” Spike snickered and lit another cigarette. “Don’ know ‘f you noticed, but it’s in parts all across the drive. ‘S funny to watch ‘em try to put it back together, though. Think Harris was assemblin’ the steerin’ wheel to the trunk, last time I took a peek.”

 

Josh was staring at him in numb shock. “And you haven’t gone out there to help? Or at least stop them?”

 

“What can I say, mate? ‘m bored an’ that’s cheap entertainment.”

 

“You’re a real son of a bitch, you know that?”

 

“Am not. I jus’ don’ care all too much. An’ don’t talk ‘bout my mum like that. Woman had a heart of gold.”

 

The Deputy Chief of Staff looked away as though having to restrain himself from launching across the room. “Donna better get back soon,” he said. “I don’t like the idea of her out in a town she doesn’t know.”

 

“You an’ me both.” Off the look he received, his hands came up again. “’m talkin’ bout the…’bout Buffy, you paranoid wanker. She’s been gone all day.”

 

“Away from you? Can’t say I blame her.”

 

The vampire’s eyes darkened. “Watch it. Don’ take kindly to prats who don’ know what they’re talkin’ about. Have a nasty habit of dealin’ with ‘em in ways that don’ always end up clean.”

 

It wasn’t like there was anything he could do about it, anyway. What would he do? He could go into game face and scare the git shitless, and while the notion was tempting just for the humor aspect, he decided against it.

 

The threat fell to deaf ears; Josh collapsed in the seat nearest to the window so he could watch the cars that approached. He attempted to call his assistant and couldn’t get a line through. He hung up, waited a few minutes, and tried again.

 

“They’ll be back soon.”

 

Spike nodded. They had to be.

 

Though if they weren’t in the next few minutes, he was going to tear through the town. Sod reputation. Sod pride. Sod what Harris thought. If the world had to know how he felt about her, that was the way it was.

 

Nothing was going to happen to Buffy. Not on his watch.

 

*~*~*

 

The cab pulled into the drive just in time to see Toby storm through the doors and another take off in the opposite direction. A corresponding crash from the townhouse verified that the Watcher had returned. However, while noted, the girls let it slip without mention.

 

It had been a good day after all.

 

“Oh God,” Buffy laughed. “Giles is gonna kill me.”

 

Willow waved a dismissive hand. “Oh come on. When was the last time you’ve had a vacation, anyway? So you took one day to yourself. He can lighten up.”

 

The air rang with the sound of another crash. That assumption seemed fair enough.

 

“Yeah.” The Slayer shook her head with another laugh. “It’s been a while since I’ve had so much fun. But seriously…never eating again.”

 

Donna nodded, reaching for her key. “I hear you.”

 

“You’re not going to get in trouble, are you?”

 

The question lent Buffy pause. The day had been most liberating—just a few hours talking, and it was easy to forget that the company she shared was also valued by men of means, not to mention the President of the United States. And for everything, she didn’t want to have cost the woman her job. After all, there had to be a million other things she was supposed to have complete.

 

There was no danger in Donna taking Spike. She knew that now.

 

Well, of course she knew that. But she didn’t care. No way did she care.

 

“Trouble? Hardly. Josh is probably glad that I found something to do.”

 

Willow’s brow was marred with concern. “So he won’t fire you or anything?”

 

Donna just looked at her for a long minute, then burst out laughing. “No. No! God, Josh can’t find his socks without calling me. Trust me, my career is the last thing on the line right now.”

 

There was a rustle indoors. The curtain in the parlor was shoved aside to reveal the very relieved but similarly annoyed face of Josh Lyman as he yelled through the glass, “Donnatella Moss, you are two seconds away from being out of a job!”

 

The attempts at the lock proved ineffectual the next second. The door flew open to reveal a very anxious, heaving vampire on the other side. His eyes were flashing with anger and the dying bits of frustrated concern. His hair was ruffled, and his duster was off his shoulders.

 

Buffy’s eyes widened and her heart rate doubled. He looked…

 

Oh. My. God.

 

So unfairly good.

 

And did she mention the angry part?

 

“Where the fuck have you been?” he snarled, gaze flaring before he seized her arm and pulled her across the threshold.

 

“Hey! Hey!” Willow snapped, following them over. “Let her go!”

 

“Stay out of this, Red.”

 

“Spike. Now.”

 

It didn’t matter. Buffy had wrenched herself away the next minute, rubbing her arm before realizing that the chip hadn’t fired during the entire display. And her world froze. Froze until she caught the look on the vampire’s face, nearly horrified at the reddened skin that marked where his hand had been.

 

The look vanished just as quickly, but she didn’t allow herself to vanish with it. He hadn’t meant to use such force. Spike hadn’t meant to use force.

 

Oh God.

 

From where she couldn’t react, Willow had no such qualms. She stepped forward and offered a shove to the vampire that was surprisingly forceful enough to send him back a step. “What’s the big idea, you creep!”

 

“I…uhhh…” Spike glanced to the ground, suddenly unsure of himself. “Slayer an’ I were s’posed to patrol.”

 

“Patrol?” Josh echoed. “What the hell?”

 

“We were?”

 

The vampire pointed at her in protest. “You said so! Before you left!”

 

Buffy’s face fell. Oh God.

 

How could she have forgotten?

 

“Oh.” Donna clutched her heart and made a sad noise. “And you were that worried? That’s so sweet.”

 

“Sweet?” Josh echoed. “The guy’s psycho. And where have you been?”

 

Spike stuttered ineloquently and glanced to the ground. “Not worried. Wasn’ worried. Jus’…jus’ brassed. You made the date, Slayer. You wanna break it? Fine. I’d jus’ like a heads up in the future.”

 

Willow’s eyes boggled. “Date?”

 

“No!” Buffy protested. “No date!”

 

“I was with them,” Donna explained to Josh calmly. “We had bread pudding, talked about work, and how Willow is attracted to Sam but doesn’t want to admit it.”

 

“Donna!” the redhead protested.

 

Spike cracked a smile. “Anymore talk like that an’ I’m gonna swear you’re a descendant of Harris’s bird.”

 

“Descendant?”

 

Buffy stomped the vampire’s foot.

 

He yelped a bit and tossed her an angry scowl, but his features softened with more of the same. “Relative,” he ground out. “I meant relative.” He took another minute to look at her before releasing a deep breath. “You all can shove off. Bloody waste of time.”

 

He blew past her the next minute, the slam of the door punctuating his leave.

 

“Psycho,” Josh murmured again.

 

Donna whacked him across the chest.

 

“Buffy?” Willow asked lowly. “What…are you…what?”

 

The Slayer licked her lips and released a deep breath. “Nothing. It’s nothing. Spike’s…I guess he…I dunno. He’s just been…there’s…I gotta go.”

 

Another second and she was gone, too, nearly running over Sam as he made his way into the foyer. Sam, whose appearance merited a double take from everyone in raw surprise. It was more than obvious that he had been working on the car for the bulk of the day. The man was shades away from the speechwriter that he had been that morning. His hair was ruffled; his work clothes had been traded in for faded jeans and a white t-shirt. His skin was dirty and tanned. He looked…

 

“Well,” Josh said. “That was sudden.”

 

Neither of the women were paying attention. The floor was irreversibly handed to the slightly bashful man who flushed when he realized he was on display. Donna favored him with a cat whistle. “Someone’s been outside today,” she teased.

 

“The car is still broken,” he said.

 

Willow was just staring at him.

 

“Yeah,” Josh agreed. “And Spike refuses to help us fix it.”

 

“Xander told me.” Sam released a long breath and combed a hand through his messy strands. “I’ve gotten over the anger part and am more looking for helpful solutions.” His eyes landed on the anxious redhead. “Toby and I might need to borrow your laptop after all.”

 

“Have you heard from CJ?”

 

The Deputy Communications Director just looked at him.

 

“Of course you have.”

 

“She called me Skippy.”

 

“Ouch,” Donna commented before nudging Willow. “You’re catching flies.”

 

Sam flushed again.

 

That was all it took to nudge the Witch out of her delirium. She coughed suddenly and glanced to the ground, nerves taking her in all forms imaginable. “I…uhhh…have to…I’ll go upstairs,” she said hastily. “Xander agreed to trade rooms with me today. So…I don’t have to…with Wes…and—”

 

“Wes went out to get us food,” the would-be model for the Playgirl Centerfold said. “He’s been helpful. Very nice guy. He—”

 

“Sam.”

 

“I gotta go now.”

 

And, like Spike and Buffy before her, Willow had vanished the next second—moving like she was attempting to break the world record for speed. She had hardly made it to the upstairs hallway before a door sealed her away from the world.

 

Sam frowned his confusion before turning back to the others. “Was it something I said?”

 

*~*~*

 

The townhouse was a picturesque representation of the Cold War. Giles was at the table in the entry, drinking from a bottle of God-knows-what; Spike in the living quarters, flipping angrily through channels. Buffy had stormed in through the back entrance purposefully. The look she gave him still burned his insides. A look, and nothing more. She had looked ready to say something but evidently decided against it, turning instead to march intently to her room and slamming herself away.

 

It lasted, all in all, for ten minutes. The door to her room flew open and she steamed back out again, sizing the vampire up with purpose.

 

“What is your problem?” she demanded.

 

“My problem?”

 

“Yes, your problem. I don’t know what you thought that was, but—”

 

“What that was? Guess it doesn’ matter, does it, kitten? After all, jus’ a vamp here. Your pet vampire. You drag me down here by the bloody collar an’ then—”

 

“Drag? I’m sorry, but I dragged you nowhere.”

 

There was a snort from the other room. “Oh, I beg to differ,” a very drunk Giles objected.

 

Buffy frowned but ignored him. “I thought you wanted to…you said—”

 

“No, luv. I din’t. I never said I wanted to be your bitch.”

 

“Make a good play about it, though,” the Watcher commented.

 

Both blondes tossed a glance in the man’s direction at that. He responded by heaving another drink and making a face.

 

“Fact is,” Spike barked when they were back to each other. “You blew me off.”

 

“I did not blow you off. Will and I went out. We ran into Donna. We lost track of time.”

 

He paused. “So not only did you blow me off, you blew me off to have tea an’ crumpets with Miss Congeniality?”

 

“Ummm, no. And I did a quick look-around on the way back. There’s nothing there.”

 

“Brilliant deduction,” Giles said, language more than a little slurred. “’S a bloody wonder you haven’t won the Nobel Peace Prize for all the saving of the world that you do.”

 

Spike shook his head. “You blew me off, Slayer! Don’ skirt around it.”

 

“I did not!”

 

“I beg to differ.”

 

Giles held up his tumbler and gave it a stern look. “You, Mr. Daniels, are a drink fit for kings. Have another, you say? Well, aren’t I the wicked one?”

 

Buffy’s eyes flared. “Beg all you want—”

 

“Yeh.” Spike smirked with a snicker. “Like that, wouldn’t you?”

 

“It was a mistake. I forgot. Case closed. I did not blow anyone off. There was no blowing!”

 

A long, quiet pause settled throughout the room. Then Giles burst into a fit of giggles.

 

The vampire had a thousand things he wanted to say at that, and chances were, his selection wasn’t the wisest of maneuvers. “Why Slayer,” he purred. “Din’t know you were offering.”

 

It was amazing how rapidly the atmosphere could turn cold.

 

Definitely the wrong thing to say. The entire argument was the wrong thing to say. The look in her eyes had fallen from angered to hurt in record time, and he fell right along with her.

 

Even more amazing how everything he had been building them toward—they had been building themselves toward—could seem gone in a matter of seconds.

 

There was nothing to follow that. Buffy was gone, leaving him with only her scent as the slam of the door once again punctuated her unmoving disposition. He felt something within himself fall from Heaven, and didn’t know whether to rejoice or break the nearest fragile object.

 

The unspoken option was there, but he would hear nothing of it.

 

“Oh dear,” Giles drawled, voice bubbling with mirth. “She is angry, isn’t she?”

 

Spike had nothing to say. His eyes fixed longingly on the door; a trembling sigh passed through his lips. “Good goin’, mate,” he murmured to himself. “Turned yourself into a prize fool.”

 

The scent of alcohol and tears were heavy in the air. That had happened fast.

 

He really needed a drink.

 

 

 Chapter Ten

 

 

It was close to eleven when she awoke the next morning. No thought to the bustle of routine or any bent whim under the guidelines of expectation. She awoke to a deepened state of restlessness, her eyes blinking at the sheen of white that met her vision. Every cell in her body shrieked at the thought of rolling out of bed.

 

Today was not a day to be seen by anyone.

 

Even so, it surprised her when she turned to meet the standardized face of the digital clock that sat on the whicker stand next to her bed. While she never let anyone interfere with her beauty rest, she very rarely slept past eight. She very rarely slept when someone else was up and making noise. And she knew from yesterday, that she rarely slept in this house.

 

It didn’t take long to cast blame. The heavy snores from up the hall provided all the evidence she needed. Giles was still asleep. Still asleep and doing his best subconscious impression of a semi-truck. How she had ever slept through that, she would never know.

 

The night came rushing back with the intended effect of a cold shower. The crustiness around her eyes attested to much of the same. She had cried herself to sleep. She, Buffy, had cried herself to sleep over something that Spike said. Spike, who couldn’t open his mouth without offending someone. Spike, whose life’s mission was to make her miserable and smother everything she cared about into a nonbeing.

 

Spike had been himself last night. He had lashed at her with all he could these days—his words. He had been a big, nasty, guy. Nothing to cry about. Nothing.

 

And yet her eyes were raw and tired. Even still.

 

Funny how things seemed so much less important in the morning light. She felt like such a fool. She was a fool. This wasn’t her. Buffy wasn’t one to cry over insidious remarks made to her by people—creatures—that didn’t matter. Hell, she dished it out every night. She was the Slayer of Puns: The Punny Slayer. And it wasn’t as though she and Spike hadn’t sparred verbally before. It was all they could do anymore. Technology had made it impossible to fight with their bodies, so they accommodated accordingly. Fighting was natural for them; always had been.

 

Only not now. Since the Bronze, they had been dancing awkwardly around each other. Last night was the breaking point. Spike finding her weakness and calling her on it. He sized her up with his eyes and made with the sultry voice and acknowledged his gratitude for small favors that were neither small nor favorable, then said things like he had last night.

 

There was more to it, though. She would have to be blind not to see it. His eyes as he yanked the door open. The almost hurt indictment buried in his voice when he accused her of intentionally standing him up. Of standing him up at all.

 

This was insane. He was Spike. A vampire. Been there, done that, got sick on the roller coaster. Whatever notions she had been entertaining the last couple days had to be over now. They had knocked themselves back to where they belonged. No more of this candor dancing around each other. She was Buffy. She was the Slayer. He was the bane of her existence: her mortal enemy. He was not some guy. And though her femininity found him utterly appealing on purely a superficial level, she would not allow him to be her next mistake.

 

Last night was needed. It reminded her why.

 

Buffy released a deep breath at that. It was eleven. Time to get up. Time to really get to work. The sooner they found Faith, the sooner this embarrassing escapade came to a stop. This bizarre, otherworldly, dreamlike escapade that had done nothing but draw attention from where it needed to be focused.

 

It didn’t take long to get out of bed after the initial waking up was accomplished. Within minutes, she was in front of the mirror that topped off her rented dresser, inspecting her hair before deciding it would be much too hot to leave it down. It was still slightly damp from last night’s midnight shower—taken because she knew that waking up early was out of the question, even if she also didn’t plan on sleeping too late. She affixed herself with a sloppy but acceptable ponytail, slipped into some denims and pulled a dark green tank over her head.

 

After she had done all she could within the confines of her room, she tossed a weary glance to the door that separated her quarters from Spike’s. It wasn’t necessary to go that way in order to get to the lavatory; actually, it was rather inconvenient. But she wanted an excuse. Any excuse. Despite the promises of just a few minutes ago that heated her subconscious, she wanted to see him. Wanted to see if things truly were back to comfortable terrain. If it was safe to hate him again.

 

She was contemplating ripping out the inner voice that screamed protest at the concept of hating him. Hating him was what she was used to. It was familiar. It was known. It was…

 

So over.

 

Buffy swallowed hard, detesting the fact that even after the ugly trade last night, she couldn’t find it within herself to raise that much animosity. She wanted to. Oh, she wanted to. And he deserved whatever she dished. What he had said to her, what he had implied…oh, it was enough to make her—

 

Cry yourself to sleep?

 

Stupid female hormones. Spike was many things, but he was definitely not worth crying over. Especially concerning something so trivial.

 

It was with that mentality that Buffy decided to embrace the day. Everything would be the way it was before. No more confusing trades, no more upsetting herself because the vampire next door was a jerk and couldn’t help himself. No. She was through. She was so completely over her temporary insanity, and starting now, she would make damn sure that he knew it.

 

The door separating their quarters squeaked noisily as she pushed herself into the makeshift den. She bit her lip in uncertainty, turned, and closed it without trying to betray too much noise. It yelped again and stuck before it could shut all the way. A sigh of exasperation pressed through her throat. If there was one thing she was learning from this trip, it was a testament to how much she really didn’t like old homes.

 

Then she turned around and the wind was knocked out of her.

 

For whatever reason, it hadn’t occurred to her that Spike might still be sleeping. It was late morning, the sun was nearing the crest in the sky, and as a vampire, he had no reason to be awake. Her senses hadn’t betrayed his presence in the thereabouts. She didn’t know what she had been expecting, but it wasn’t what she saw.

 

The trundle bed was out this time. Out but bare. The gray mattress was spotty at best, worn and sickly with the impression of many years’ passing bodies. And Spike lay atop. He was clad in nothing but jeans with the first two buttons undone; his head reclined against the pillow she had given him the day before. However, it was the blanket that got her. The blanket that he had bound and folded, and was snuggling like a lover. Soft fuzzy blue against his face; his subconscious countenance betraying a similarly forlorn disposition. His arm wound her gift into his chest, one leg venturing over to keep his depiction from rolling away from him. There and sleeping. Sleeping the day away.

 

There was every chance it didn’t mean anything, of course. He might sleep like that; she didn’t know. Had no way of knowing. Just because her blanket—no, the townhouse’s blanket—was being used as a snuggle toy rather than a comfort-inducer didn’t mean anything. He was a vampire. What need did vampires have for blankets, anyway?

 

Something changed, then. Something small but monumental. Something that made her quicken even more. As though reacting to her presence entirely, Spike shifted on the noisy mattress, crooned kittenishly at the warmth in his arms, and murmured, “Buffy,” before drifting into deeper sleep.

 

The walls she had spent the past night and the last twenty minutes trying desperately to reconstruct came crashing down.

 

Oh God.

 

He could’ve just known you’re here. After all: vampire.

 

But no. She knew it wasn’t that. Spike never called her Buffy. Never.

 

Her mistake came in taking her next step; the floorboard released a loud and boisterous creak, evidently doing more to wake her housemate than had the squeaky door. Spike’s eyes opened bluntly, finding hers with such immediacy that she doubted he had been asleep in the first place.

 

“Hi,” he said softly.

 

Buffy drew in a breath. “I…umm…hi.”

 

Their gazes held for a minute longer before he turned over, stretching luxuriously with no thought to self-preservation. “What time ‘s it?”

 

“Getting close to 11:30,” she replied. “We…I guess I was sleepier than I…thought. And Giles…well, not exactly expecting him up any time soon.”

 

A loud snore from the back room sounded out in agreement.

 

Spike smiled gently, moving to sit up. “Rupert drank himself from one bottle to another last night,” he observed. “Know the feelin’.”

 

Her gaze dropped to his chest, her mind fighting her eyes to eradicate all confirmations on how yummy he looked without a shirt on. Bad mind, bad! “You slept…in your jeans?”

 

A wicked smile crossed his lips. “Thought it’d be the courteous thing to do, as I usually don’ bother with anything t’all.”

 

Oh, double-yum. The images came before she could stop them. Spike sleeping—all skin. Spike in the nude. Spike—

 

Stop!

 

“Well, there’s one picture I’ll have to get surgically removed.”

 

Liar liar, pants on fire.

 

Buffy licked her lips, her senses flaring. You can say that again.

 

“Watch it, Slayer. You’re blushing.”

 

Dammit.

 

Things grew quiet again—awkward and unsure. It could only last so long. And before she knew it, he had released a deep breath and risen to his feet, regarding her with what could only be called an act of contrition. As though they had suffered through a great falling out. As though last night was the first fight between lovers while on the pathway to self-discovery.

 

But that wasn’t so. It just wasn’t. Not with them. They were never like this.

 

“Buffy,” he said quietly, all tease having abandoned his tone. “I—”

 

“Don’t.”

 

A flawless brow arched at that. “I din’t say anythin’.”

 

“If it’s about last night, don’t.” She endured a few seconds of his waiting gaze before turning her own to the ground, releasing a deep breath and shaking her head. “Look, I don’t know…anything, really. Talking to you recently’s been on the side of difficult. I don’t know what to say anymore.”

 

He could have feigned ignorance if he wanted to. He didn’t. “’Cause of what happened,” he acknowledged. “Yeh, pet. Feel it, too. I jus’ don’ know where I stand with you.”

 

“Well, I’m not much help in the ‘figuring out of that’,” she replied. “What…I can’t get this…and I’ve tried to be nice. Nicer, even. We have to work together, right? Up until last night, I thought you were okay with being here and helping us out and—”

 

“Kitten, what I said…you din’t show. I was brassed. I said some things.” He shrugged. “Din’t mean all of ‘em. Din’t…” His eyes darted to the carpet. “You din’t show. An’ what I said…” Another stressed sigh escaped his lips and he looked up again. His mindless repetition of himself nearly prompted a smile to her face. “I don’ know where I stand with you, Slayer. I don’ know what’s safe ground. Not anymore. Not since that night in the cemetery. Blew me off my rocker, you did. After what you saw me doin’…me an’ Faith—”

 

“You didn’t know it was Faith.”

 

“I knew it wasn’ you.”

 

Buffy bit her lip. “Is that why you reacted the way you did? Because it wasn’t me?”

 

He stared at her as though anteaters had started crawling out of her ears. Thoroughly stunned. Sufficiently blown away. And at a complete loss at how to reply. “I…luv, I don’ know what you want me to say.”

 

“The truth is always a good thing.”

 

“The truth’ll get me staked right an’ proper.”

 

She shook her head. “No. I can’t afford to stake you. You’re too valuable.”

 

He snickered and stepped back, rolling his eyes. “To what? This? Findin’ your rogue bird. Right bit of value I’ve given you so far.”

 

“Not to finding…well, I haven’t exactly…” Buffy huffed out a breath and scowled. “Just answer the question, Spike.”

 

“Why do you need to know? Moreover, what do you need to know? ‘F it had actually been you, you wanna know if I’d’ve taken you up on it? ‘S that it?” A dry, incredulous laugh hissed through his teeth at the look that overwhelmed her face. “I’ll tell you, Slayer, but I guarantee you won’ like the answer.” He stopped again. “No. No. I won’ tell you. This is for bloody ridiculous.”

 

“What is?” It was barely a whisper.

 

“This. Sodding all of it. I’ve been on my best bloody behavior since…’cause you gave me a chance to make it up to you. Why I should care, I have no bleedin’ clue. An’ why you haven’t come to your senses an’ tossed me in a nice sunny patch of grass ‘s somethin’ I jus’ don’ get.” He shook his head. “Isn’t like you, Slayer. Not to go to bed upset with me.” He turned to point intently in the direction of her room. “You don’ get upset with me. You get annoyed. You get frustrated. You get pissed. You threaten to turn me into a pile of dust. You play a merry round of Kick the Spike. You don’ go to bed upset.”

 

She didn’t bother to hide how disconcerted she was. How hard the very notion that she had fallen out of habit had shaken her. It was futile trying to anything from Spike, least of all matters such as these. “I know.”

 

He nodded, eyes blazing now that he had that much. “So hit me, Buffy. Scream at me. Tell me ‘m worthless. Tell me you’ll…” He broke off at the puzzled look she gave him, nearly wounded in retrospect. “I don’ know how to be the person you don’ hate. I try, an’ I bollocks up. Tried last night—wanted you to hate me a li’l. So yeh, I took a low blow. Somethin’ you would’ve brushed off before. Somethin’…” He sighed and shook his head. “But you din’t…I hurt you.”

 

The Slayer arched a brow. “Since when have you cared about hurting me?”

 

“I don’ know. I jus’…I din’t like it.” He waited and looked at her. “An’ ‘s wrong. I know it. You know it. More than soddin’ anythin’. This…whatever it is.”

 

Buffy pursed her lips and took a cautionary step forward. “I don’t mind not fighting with you, Spike. It’s strange, I’ll grant you, but I’m not missing the screaming matches. And yeah, it is because of what happened. Because you…you helped me.”

 

“Told you that wasn’ for you, luv.”

 

“Even so. You could’ve done something. You didn’t.”

 

Spike stared at her for a moment. “You’re puttin’ a lot on faith here.” Her mouth threatened to give way to a grin. He paused, reconsidered his wording, and rolled his eyes. “Trust. All this jus’ because I din’t shag the bird?”

 

“It’s more than that.”

 

“How do you know?”

 

“I don’t I just…do.” Buffy released an aggravated sigh and ran her hands over her brow, palms pressing into her temples to wan away the immediacy of a headache. “It was something, Spike. It was. More than you wanna admit. And ever since, you have been trying. If it wasn’t something, you wouldn’t bother to try. I know you well enough by now to know that. But you have. And last night—”

 

“I—”

 

“Last night when I…forgot to come back, you were more than angry. You were worried.”

 

His eyes widened in protest. “Was not!”

 

A thin smile tickled her lips. “It’s okay to worry about me.”

 

“Take that back!”

 

“Spike—”

 

“’m a vampire, you daft bird. I’m an evil, soulless son of a bitch. I don’ dawdle with worryin’ about people. I especially don’ worry ‘bout Slayers.” He shook his head again and released another disbelieving laugh. “You’re a piece of work, Summers. Never knew your ego complex was this—”

 

“Stop. Just stop.”

 

“Why should I?”

 

“Because it’s bull and you know it.” Buffy held up a hand when his eyes widened in protest. “Well, come on, brainiac. If you wanted to play that hand, you should’ve traded in your cards a while ago.”

 

He made a face. “That has to be the worst poker analogy ‘ve ever heard.”

 

“I could try again, if you want.”

 

They paused on the same beat and cracked nearly identical smiles.

 

“Look,” Buffy began a minute later. “I know it’s…it’s weird for me, too. More than weird. But I…this is something I wanna try.”

 

“What?”

 

“Not fighting with you. I mean, as long as you have that…thing…where you can’t…” She paused to lick her lips as his eyes darkened in reminder. “You came to us for a reason, Spike. You could’ve gone to anyone. Your fledglings…demons who knew and feared you. You could’ve gone to them and told them anything. You didn’t. You came to us.”

 

The vampire frowned. “Never thought ’bout it like that.” He was silent for a long minute—pensive, then his eyes drifted back to her. “You’re right, pet. I like this better than the other. Whatever we’re playin’ ourselves up at. ‘S better.” A small, genuine smile crossed his lips then. “So, what now? We stuff our differences aside an’—”

 

“We work through them.”

 

“’m not gonna join your bloody gang. Slayerettes Anonymous? Not—”

 

“I wouldn’t ask you to. I just…”

 

The peroxide Cockney nodded at that. “Somethin’ else, right?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Yeh. I feel it, too. Been drivin’ me bum-shaggin’ outta my mind ever since…” She flushed and looked away. He grinned in spite of himself. “Any ideas what it is?”

 

“No. I…this is—”

 

There was no need to say any more. Spike held up a hand and nodded again. “Gotcha, luv. So…until t’night then…what do we do? An’ ‘f you suggest you run ‘round town with Red again, ‘m liable to throw myself outside jus’ to spare another day of boredom.”

 

Buffy looked genuinely puzzled at that. “You were bored?”

 

“Here’s a hint: the telly’s a babysitter for kiddies. Not for Big Bads.”

 

“Since when?”

 

He grinned wryly at her. “Funny girl.”

 

Another beat moved between them. The electricity in the air was palpable. Tension alongside shades of desire she wasn’t ready to acknowledge. Her plan of indifference had failed her completely. She saw him now. Saw him, and he definitely saw her back. Buffy wasn’t the most experienced of girls, but she knew enough when that look overwhelmed a man’s eyes. Deliberate or not.

 

Her hands itched with the sudden urge to touch him. That was nothing she needed.

 

“Well…I’m gonna go to the house and see if I can scrounge us up some munchies.” Her eyes lingered on his pale chest. She never thought she would be partial to pale skin, but she was. Spike with a tan wouldn’t be as sexy as Spike without a tan, and she didn’t know exactly why.

 

Of course, she would need to see Spike with a tan before she set up a basis of evaluation.

 

“Slayer?”

 

“I’ll just…let you…get ready.”

 

He cocked a brow. “For what?”

 

“We’ll figure it out…after…we eat.”

 

She almost made it to the door, barely aware that she was moving until his voice stopped her. Again as her hand reached for the handle. The soft baritone of his tenor bidding her halt before she could leave him. Before she knew what she was doing, she had turned around to face him.

 

And immediately wished she hadn’t. While his appearance hadn’t changed, the very sight of him was enough to shake her foundation. He was standing in the middle of the den in nothing but jeans with the first few buttons undone. His hair was ruffled. He had no shoes on. He was vulnerable and strong in the same picture. He was Spike as she was only now beginning to see. A temptation that she could not give into.

 

“I was,” he said.

 

Buffy licked her lips subconsciously, not noticing the way his eyes fixed on her tongue the minute it poked out of her mouth. Nor did she notice the deep breath he took that seemed to undulate every muscle in his body.

 

Well, okay. So she noticed the rippling muscle part. She just didn’t note the reason.

 

“You were?”

 

“Worried.” Spike’s eyes were uncannily soft, a small smile of concession playing across his features. “Can’t hide it, I guess. ‘F we’re gonna do this, let’s do it proper. I was worried about you last night. Don’ know why, but I was. An’ I din’t like it. Din’t like not knowin’ where you were…not knowin’ whether or not I could get to you ‘f you needed me. I…” He caught her large, imploring and more than panicked gaze, swore slightly and broke off. “Yeh…I was worried. Jus’ wanted you to know, s’all.”

 

She did. She had.

 

She just didn’t know how to deal with it.

 

That was the second time that she had left the house after talking to him, shaken, breathless, and aroused. And dreading it. Dreading whatever it was that was building between them. Dreading the inevitable pain that came along with it. Dreading the face of her duty as she spared with the needy wants of her desire. Dreading the full of it.

 

He had called her Buffy in his sleep. Buffy. Not Slayer. Not pet, luv, or kitten. Not anything but who she was. Right out loud. By name.

 

Buffy.

 

That thought shook her more than anything. It alone proved that this was real. Whatever this was, it was real.

 

And she had no idea what to do about it.

 

*~*~*

 

The main house was surprisingly occupied for being as late as it was.

 

Of course, when she saw what they were doing, it was hardly cause for surprise.

 

The sight was nearly humorous. It was a cold day in hell when the Scoobies met people on the outside who took to them with any degree of hospitality. And true, while their acquaintance with the White House staffers barely exceeded twenty-four hours, the casual demeanor they shared with each other would have easily suggested otherwise. Josh, Donna, and Xander were all on one settee; Anya at her boyfriend’s feet, making a comment here or there about capitalism and how democracy was a failed experiment that she had seen many cultures implore without success. For the most part, she went ignored. Wesley, Willow, and Sam were on the opposing davenport, watching with rapt attention. And Toby was in the back with a cell phone to his ear. He would watch for a few seconds then bark at the unfortunate soul on the other end, stop, and repeat as needed.

 

For such an outlandish bunch, it almost looked as though they belonged that way.

 

Buffy’s eyes traveled wearily to the small television set with admittedly crappy reception, a small smile tickling her mouth. “When did he start?” she asked.

 

“Shhh!” came the collective reply.

 

Donna met her gaze and smiled helplessly. It was Sam, however, who finally registered that someone had asked a relevant question and turned to her, offering a wan smile. “Sorry,” he said. “We’ve never had to watch him like this and—”

 

“Shhh!”

 

“He started about fifteen minutes ago,” the blonde assistant clarified, whacking Josh across the knee before he could berate her interruption again.

 

Buffy nodded. “You guys finally just decided to use the laptop?”

 

“All talkers will be bodily removed from the premises,” the Deputy Chief of Staff warned, not tearing his gaze from the screen. He seemingly ignored the fact that Anya spoke when she pleased and his own colleague didn’t shut up for more than thirty seconds at a time.

 

“Ah, ah.” Toby held the phone away from his ear, other hand in the air in a noncommittal command for order. “Here it comes.”

 

“What?”

 

“Shhh!”

 

Bartlet’s image fizzed a bit as he shifted again. While Buffy was the last person to sit down and watch a Presidential address, she had to admit to herself that the little she had seen of their Commander in Chief had left her impressed. He made public speaking look so easy when it was one of her great fears.

 

Granted, he was a politician. He was supposed to be verbally smooth.

 

“One hundred and thirty six years ago on the date of April 18th, 1863, General Grant led his army from the western bank to the Eastern at Big Bluff and into the line of Confederate fire. With his army joined with Sherman’s, he—”

 

It was impossible to hear what the President said next. Toby was yelling into the phone.

 

“What the hell is this, CJ? He went from talking about the progress we’ve made since the inauguration to Ulysses S. Grant?” There was another pause. “He’s skipping it?! What do you mean he’s skipping it?!”

 

That was all it took; everyone in the room was sufficiently distracted.

 

Sam’s eyes were large and worried. “What happened?”

 

The Communications Director was shifting from one leg to the other, his features taut and irritated. “The President is skipping sections F and G.”

 

“Why?”

 

“The attachment was blotchy.”

 

The color drained from Willow’s face. “What?”

 

Toby quirked his head to the side. He looked ready to break something, which was not good, as the house was old and filled with antiques. “The attachment was blotchy. And CJ couldn’t reach me until this morning.”

 

“So, what’s he doing?” Sam asked, tossing a brief glance to the television.

 

The President continued as if spurred by unearthly enthusiasm. “…encircled the town, forcing many civilians underground for the duration of the Federal occupation…”

 

The elder man took a dramatic pause and huffed a deep breath. “He’s improvising.”

 

“…news articles printed on the back of wallpaper…”

 

“What?” Josh demanded. “He’s what?”

 

“…while the country was drawn into an irrevocable standstill. Lee’s invasion of the North in Gettysburg had resulted in the loss of more than fifty thousand American lives. The siege of Vicksburg ended the next day, and as a direct result, the Confederate army lost control of the Mississippi river. Vicksburg would not celebrate the birth of our nation for another eighty-one years because of this defeat. Because its citizens, your great town’s heritage, stood at the brink of inevitability and watched a way of life…”

 

Willow shrugged, tossing a cautious glance to Toby, whose expression was stony at best. “He sounds all right to me,” she offered meekly.

“All right? All right?” The Communications Director stepped forward with fierce intent. “The man is the Commander and Chief: he needs to sound better than all right. He needs to sound proud. He needs to sound presidential. He needs to do better than stand up there giving America a history lesson!”

 

“The speech was blotchy,” his Deputy said.

 

“Sam, so help me, I will find a way to blame this on you. What?” Toby snapped attention was drawn back to the phone. It lasted only a second. He stopped, rolled his eyes, and turned back again. “Donna?” He waited for her eyes before he tossed the cell across the room.

 

“…in a war that cost America the lives of six-hundred thousand citizens. Here at the gateway of Mississippi, we stand at the foundation of our Union’s conservation…”

 

“Tomorrow’s headlines: President stop in Vicksburg and town stops celebrating the Fourth,” Josh commented dryly. “I don’t think he realizes that patriotism down here means something different than where we come from.”

 

“Ahh, let’s not sell our friends short,” Xander said. “We come from the land of the free, the home of the brave. I think—”

 

“Yes, CJ, the bread pudding was delicious, I…” Donna trailed off when she realized her voice was being broadcast across the room. She offered a small grin, paused, and tossed the phone back to Toby.

 

Buffy pursed her lips. Given the sentiment of the group, perhaps it would be a better idea to go across the street to Hot Mama’s Tamali’s. There was every possibility that they sold something edible.

 

Possible, but unlikely. If all else failed, she could call a cab, or walk to the Rosalie house where the woman had been selling pralenes the day before.

 

As if sensing her detachment, Willow tore her eyes away from the President for a minute longer. “Buff? Do you need me to—”

 

The Slayer held up a hand. “Nah. I’ve got it covered. You just…watch the speech.”

 

“I don’t know. You might want to get up and walk away very fast,” Sam advised, indicating the ever-increasingly fuming Toby. The comment prompted a giggle out of her friend, and that alone told the young blonde what she needed to know.

 

Her friend was giggling again. She wasn’t about to abandon the source of her merriment so soon, nor would she be asked to.

 

After all, Buffy had Spike to work with. Work and unfinished business.

 

It was impossible to tell if the spooling in her belly was anticipation or dread.

 

Funny how Spike was never too far away from any extreme.

 

 

 

 

Chapter Eleven

 

 

They spent the day together.

 

It was completely by accident, of course; the way things worked out. The speech lasted until half past noon and everyone, save Anya who had no interest in automobiles, retreated on the same foot to service the car. The former demon was said to have retired to their room for a nap, evidently having forgone the comfort of sleep by complaining about the lack of acquired orgasms all night.

 

Needless to say, the redhead was seriously reconsidering the sleeping arrangements yet again.

 

However, before things could get underway, Buffy and Spike were gone.

 

So was the Winnebago, which made Giles less than happy when he finally awoke.

 

The day was spent in moderation. A more thorough familiarization of the town after dumping a sufficient amount of that black paint that Spike kept caked on the Desoto’s windshield. The drive to the nearest Wal-Mart had been a tale in itself; the vampire vowed tacitly never to question the Slayer’s reluctance to maneuver a vehicle again.

 

There wasn’t much to Natchez outside the economy-driven emphasis on tourism. People from all over traveled to the small town just to tour aging homes. If Buffy had to hear another story about how the settlement had once been one of the most prosperous in the Union, she was going to start slaying on the presumption that the same story told verbatim from twelve different mouths was definitely a demonic trait.

 

She could see why history buffs would be attracted, though. Why Giles thought the town was charming in a rustic sense. There was a feel about it. A something. An impression of the stereotypical Southern way of life that she couldn’t quite shake. And if that was so, the citizens did more than their part of living up to the image. Rather than resenting it as she would have—given the connotations and what Donna had told her the day before—they indulged it. Reveled in it. Profited in it.

 

The largest downside to traveling with a vampire in Natchez was the notable lack of indoor accommodations. They couldn’t do much in the main bulk of the town until the sun started sinking out of the sky. Thus, they ended up spending an obscene amount of time scouring the mall, the visitor’s center, and outlet stores: all of which produced no results.

 

It was a waste but not. At least they knew where not to look.

 

“Y’know,” Spike said as they stepped out of the visitor’s center for the fourth time. “I think we might be lookin’ over the larger picture, here.”

 

Not exactly the revelation of the day, but the way he said it inspired her mouth to forgo a smile. She had pretty much figured that when Maggie, the kind lady behind one of the kiosk desks, invited them to her daughter’s birthday party the next day. “Oh, really?”

 

There was no way he couldn’t have caught it. He flashed her a smirk and shook his head as he dug out his cigarettes. “We’ve spent all our time lookin’ an’ lookin’ again in places your rogue bird wouldn’t be caught dead at. The bloody mall, Slayer? She’s here as a fugitive; not to pick out shoes.”

 

He made with logic admirably. And while, yes, they had been trading the same sentiment back and forth all day; she couldn’t say she was displeased with the way things had turned out. Spending time with Spike was surprisingly enjoyable. Very surprisingly. While she had been making eyes at him for the past couple days, she hadn’t fully allowed herself to acknowledge that there might be something substantial beyond the physical attraction. But there was. Oh, there was. It was amazing how human he could be when treated like one.

 

He was fun. He joked, he laughed, he talked, he shared, he listened.

 

And she was in more trouble than she could afford if things continued like this.

 

“So…what do you suggest?”

 

Spike sighed and stuffed his hands in the pockets of duster, tilting his head upward as he indulged a long drag off his cigarette. “Most of the town ‘s houses, kitten. ‘F she wants to blend in, which I think our non-productivity has proven, I’d start there.”

 

She just looked at him. “You wanna tour the houses?”

 

“No, ‘m jus’ sayin’…’f we wanna find her—”

 

“It’s not that I don’t see your point. I do. It’s all there with the logic. But…” Buffy glanced down, pouting a little. “It’s boring.”

 

The vampire’s eyes sized her up, dancing with shades of amusement. “Watch it, pet,” he advised lowly. “You’re reachin’ back to my time.”

 

“Well, your time was boring.”

 

“I resent that.”

 

“You so do not.”

 

Spike cocked a brow. “Plenty ‘f things happened in the nineteenth century,” he argued. “Days of duels or what all. An’ the bloody kids back then had a lot more respect.”

 

“Watch it, buddy. Your age is showing.”

 

He smiled. “Well, ‘f anythin’ else, it’ll be a trip down memory lane.” A pause. “’Course, I din’t come to America till after I was dead, an’ even then, the popular hype in the ‘60s—that’s 1860s, luv, ‘f you’re followin’ me…the popular hype had already—”

 

“Spike?”

 

“Ramblin’?”

 

She grinned. He was borderline cute. “Little bit.”

 

Spike rolled on his heels and gave himself a slight bounce. “Come on, kitten,” he urged. “Let’s go. Jus’ to one. Indulge me.”

 

There was no harm, she supposed. And again with him actually having a point.

 

“Okay…any ideas?”

 

A wide grin spread across his lips and he reached into his back pocket to retrieve a brochure that she had seen him swipe inside. Spike had swiped a brochure. While she had had her suspicions, seeing it made it all the more worthwhile.

 

“Well, since you’re humorin’ me, you tell me ‘f any of these look interestin’.”

 

Buffy cocked a brow. “You’re really enjoying this, aren’t you?”

 

He shrugged. “’m curious, s’all. We din’t share too much in common with the colonies when it came to politics, but the styles were damn near universal. ‘S strange to think of things that I remember as bein’ on tour.” There was a brief pause and he shook his head. “Don’ think that’ll ever go away, no matter how old I get.”

 

“I don’t think I’ve ever heard you talk about your past.” Well, of course she hadn’t. She hadn’t been interested before. “Angel never did much, either.”

 

The vampire’s demeanor darkened slightly on mention of her former. She could have sworn a flicker of ripened jealously flashed across his eyes. “Peaches din’t ‘cause it takes away precious time that could be spent mopin’ ‘bout things he knows damn well he can’t change,” he barked. “I don’ talk ‘bout it ‘cause no one asks. What a sodding waste.”

 

“Okay, Mr. Defensive.”

 

He calmed down slightly and flashed an apologetic look in her direction. “Don’ fancy bein’ compared with the Great Poof,” he murmured.

 

“So I gathered.” Buffy licked her lips. “Well, don’t worry. ‘Cause you and Angel? Nothing alike.”

 

If anything, that seemed to offend him even more. Lousy temperamental vampires. It only lasted a second, though, before he consigned to seemingly depressed acceptance. “Yeh,” he agreed softly. “Bloody relief, that is.”

 

“You’re telling me. One brooding vamp per lifetime is already more than I can take.” She smiled when he looked up in surprise, eyes sparkling with both wonder and gratitude. “So…these houses? Just the one, right?”

 

Spike nodded and handed her the brochure. “Trust me, luv. I might be curious, but I don’ fancy standin’ around all day while girlies in hoop skirts tell me things that I already know. ’S gonna be hard enough not to correct them when they bollocks somethin’ up.” He didn’t meet her eyes, as though shy about his firsthand knowledge. “’S better this way. ‘F Natchez is anythin’ like the pissant towns that Dru an’ I toured in the ‘50s, talkin’ to one staff’ll get the word out.”

 

She suddenly knew why he didn’t like her talking about Angel. “So,” she said, clearing her throat and redirecting her attention to the pamphlet. “Any of these strike your fancy?”

 

“’S your choice, pet.”

 

“I don’t know what to choose!”

 

Spike rolled his eyes and snatched the brochure back again. “Okay…what ‘bout this one?”

 

“What one?”

 

He edged closer so that she could follow his indication. Edged closer so that she was pressed up next to him, so that his scent tickled her senses with refinement she didn’t know he possessed. “Linden.”

 

“That one?”

 

“Why not?”

 

“It’s not pretty.”

 

Spike released a sigh of exasperation. “Well, for cryin’ out loud, Slayer, whaddya want from me?”

 

Many, many things.

 

She opted in the end to not answer. “How about this one?”

 

“Dunleith?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“An’ ‘s prettier than the other one?”

 

Buffy bit her lip. “Well, it’s not so much that yours wasn’t pretty, per se…it’s just…this one is all with the big columns and whatnot. It’s…it’s pretty.”

 

There was a brief pause at that; the vampire’s eyes sparkled mischievously. “Ah,” he cooed. “So size does matter to the Slayer.”

 

“Shut up.”

 

“Dunleith’s no good, though.”

 

She pouted. “Why not?”

 

“Tour’s only good for the ground floor.”

 

“And we care, why?”

 

He shrugged. “Well, ‘f you’re payin’ full price to get in—”

 

“If I’m paying?”

 

A smile spread across his lips. “So you caught that, did you?”

 

“Bah. You suck.” Her eyes snapped back to his and she caught the glimmer of the impending retort before it could think to touch his tongue. With the way things were going, it was infinitely better to stop him before the words touched the air. “And shut up. What about Stanton Hall?”

 

He offered a cheeky grin. “That one big enough for you, pet?”

 

“Spike, I swear to God…”

 

“Jus’ wanna make sure. The last thing I need on my hands is a Slayer with a size complexion.”

 

“I’m counting to three, then I’m getting out my stake.”

 

“Hope it’s big one.”

 

That did it. “One…”

 

Spike just chuckled and turned his eyes back to the pamphlet. “Stanton Hall, eh?” he mused. “Think that’s one of the locations for that bloody horrible series from the ‘80s.”

 

“What series?”

 

“I forget the name. Only Dru was bloody nuts over Patrick Swayze an’ wouldn’t stop watchin’ the soddin’ thing no matter what I…” He broke off when he caught her gaze. Yeah, it definitely wasn’t kosher talking about ex-loves all of a sudden. And they accepted it without mention. Such was safer until they had sussed out why things were different between them.

 

“Doesn’t it say which miniseries it was in the thing?” Buffy asked, desperate to break the awkward silence.

 

“No. I jus’ remember Stanton Hall.” At her look, he glanced down and started kicking at the concrete. The tacit rule of before flew out the window just as rapidly as it had been conceived. Spike looked uncomfortable for a long minute before shaking his head. There were certain truths about their respected pasts that could not go ignored. “We had a fledglin’ for a while that Dru made…went out an’ got her blood when I couldn’t. ‘S name was Stanley Small. After the series aired, she’d—”

 

“Yeah.” The Slayer took a pensive moment and released a long sigh. A moment, then sucked it up and asked the inevitable question. “Do you miss Dru?”

 

Spike gave her another long look, careful, trying to gage her mood. “Sometimes,” he replied, honest as he could. “Though I don’ know anymore ‘f it’s Dru I miss or jus’…I don’ miss her mood swings, or the wonky visions, or her dolls, or her tendency to speak in riddles or…any of it, really.” A breath shuddered across his shoulders. “I do miss not bein’ alone. A hundred years or so an’ you get used to the company, even ‘f she is a daft loony.” The comment earned a soft smile. He returned it best he could before glancing down again. “I jus’ miss not bein’ alone. Bein’ with someone who understands me an’…”

 

The words struck closer to home than she would have liked. Buffy worried a lip between her teeth. “I understand you, Spike.”

 

He froze and regarded her calmly. “Do you?”

 

“Yeah. I might…I don’t agree with a lot of…well, obviously. Slayer and all. But I get you.”

 

At that, his eyes softened and an ironic smile crossed his mouth. “That you do, kitten,” he murmured. “That you do.” Another pause. “Do you miss Peaches?”

 

The Slayer went quiet for a minute. So strange. Had anyone asked her just a few short weeks ago; the answer would have been an emphatic yes. Somewhere, she had faced herself and known what it was to grow up. To put those adolescent teenage dreams behind her. Missing Angel was more complicated than all that. There wasn’t a word, a sentence, to describe her state of nonfeeling. Trying alone was difficult enough. “I don’t know,” she replied. “I think…really toward the end, we weren’t as close as it seemed we were. He left for reasons that were…but I see it now. And it was for the better.”

 

“You think so?”

 

“Well, yeah. The same reason Oz left Willow. There were things there that…but she took his leaving harder than I did Angel’s. And…I think it was because she was still in love with him.” Buffy held up a hand. “To clarify, I loved Angel. I still do. I just don’t think…I don’t think I was in love with him then. Especially after everything that had happened—”

 

Spike nodded.

 

She smiled and flushed. “But…yeah. Will’s getting better, though. And she’s started looking around again.”

 

“She has?”

 

“Sam.” Buffy paused. “Well, I don’t know if she’s serious about that…we really haven’t talked. But there’s definite sparkage.”

 

The vampire chuckled at that. “Caught between evils, is she?” he mused. “A werewolf an’ a politician. Red sure knows how to pick ‘em.”

 

“Yeah. But I’m not really one to talk.” She shrugged. “All my men have been vampires.”

 

She didn’t realize what she had said until she heard Spike’s breath catch. And then there was nothing. Just nothing. It was as though the world stopped. The words left her lips, and the world came to a big old-fashioned halt. Traffic froze, temperatures soared, and everything in between fell from view. The burn behind his eyes was enough to get any woman into trouble. Smoldering and astonished all within the same breath. He had always been unpredictable, but this was the first time she had felt the strain of her heart encouraging him.

 

She had no way of knowing how he had taken it. It was too late to retract. To pretend it didn’t happen. To anything.

 

The Freudian slip of the year.

 

When nothing happened, Buffy flushed and snatched the brochure back, purposefully avoiding his gaze. “Ummm…” she said, ever aware of the tremble in her voice. “So…Dunleith all right?”

 

There was nothing for a minute. He was still staring at her.

 

“Spike?”

 

A second more and he shook himself back to the present, blinking and offering a short smile. “Dunleith,” he agreed. “Right.”

 

No need to tell her twice. The second his accordance touched the air, she was sprinting across the parking lot for the Winnebago as though all of hell followed.

 

Spike stood still for another minute, his nerve endings tingling from what had just passed. What had been revealed. How far into herself she was letting him see.

 

How much.

 

It didn’t last long. He turned to follow her the next minute, the smile itching his face refusing to stand down.

 

He would never admit it, but he was beginning to love this town.

 

*~*~*

 

There was a note waiting for her when they got back to the townhouse that night.

 

Buffy,

 

Donna has a book that lists King’s Tavern as a haunted place in Natchez. A bunch of us are gonna go try it out for laughs. Not Giles…I think he and Mr. Ziegler are doing the drinking thing again. (He’s worried he said too much last night. Something about a microwave) And Anya wants to use the lack of people for ‘eww’ time with Xander. Anyway, come on down if you get this in time.

 

-         Willow

 

PS. Tell Spike to put the car back together!

PPS. Giles is pissed about not having the Winnebago. Says you owe us cab money.

PPPS. Where WERE you all day?

 

A smile quirked the Slayer’s mouth and she glanced up to Spike as he closed the door behind them. “You haven’t helped with the car yet?”

 

He shrugged. “Why should I? Lot of self-righteous wankers.”

 

“It’s the nice thing to do.”

 

“Well, ‘m not a nice bloke.” He perked a brow as though daring her to disagree with him. “Where is everyone, anyway?”

 

Buffy held up the note for his inspection. “Went to a place called King’s Tavern. Any idea where that is?”

 

“Yeh, because I know this pissant town so well.”

 

“Well…do you wanna go?”

 

He took a minute and just looked at her. Today was the day for all sorts of broken rules. While he had enjoyed the excuse to just be with her—flirt with her and have the utter ecstasy of her returned attentions in that regard, he never would have imagined to be allowed this much. Dunleith, now King’s Tavern.

 

He wanted to throw caution to the wind and ask if it was a date. Get it on the table. Try to bring some clarity to the different relationship they were beginning to enjoy.

 

Pride, however, refused him from doing so.

 

Pride, and he didn’t know what he would do if she said no. If she laughed him out of the room. If he let the frighteningly-potent feelings that were growing ever more so assume center light. While she might be content to unmask her attraction, there was no way that she could ever return the more basic elements of his esteem.

 

At least he had thought so. Now he wasn’t sure.

 

And bugger all if he would muck things up by ruining a good thing as it was. He wanted something more with Buffy and he knew that now; he wasn’t about to scare her off by making that knowledge known.

 

Not until he knew how she felt.

 

The fact that he knew that he wanted something more in itself was revolutionary. How he had come so far in just a couple days was beyond him. The more time he spent with her, the more in awe of her he became.

 

Little by little, Buffy Summers was becoming someone he could not live without.

 

The Slayer.

 

“Well,” she continued when he didn’t reply. “I wanna go. So, if you’re coming, let’s hit it.” Her features softened. “And if you don’t wanna, no big. I did drag you around a lot today.”

 

He kept waiting patiently for the other shoe to drop. There was no way that this kindness could last.

 

But then, they had discussed that. They were both at a loss.

 

Better to do things this way.

 

Thus, Spike met her gaze and smiled, sliding the keys from the table before moving to open the door for her. Another act of gentlemanly consideration that he performed without thinking.

 

And remarkably, she didn’t comment. As though they did this every day.

 

As though they had always done this.

 

“An’ leave you to drive by yourself, pet?” he retorted teasingly. “Don’ think so. That hunka junk might be on the register for scrap-metal, but someone has to take care of the wheels. Wouldn’t wanna end up like a certain band of travelin’ stragglers.”

 

“Yeah.” Buffy grinned, turning as he made sure the door was locked. “You owe them cab money, by the way.”

 

“Oh I do, do I?”

 

“It was your idea to lift the Winnebago.”

 

Spike snickered. “I was under orders!”

 

“Likely story.”

 

“Big scary Slayer told me to do it.” A smile broke across his face at the look she shot in his direction. “What’s the name of the joint again?”

 

“King’s Tavern.”

 

“Well, hop on in, kitten.” He nodded. “Time’s a wastin’.”

 

*~*~*

 

The atmosphere of King’s Tavern, regardless of prior knowledge of its alleged status as a haunted establishment, certainly permeated the air of being a place of such mystique. The building itself was old—built likely in the 1700s and stood superficially as a brown blemish in a town full of supremacy and old Southern beauty. However, like the rest of Natchez, it commanded its own form of history that was respectable and among the elite in the town. The look was rustic and aged; the interior dark and lit with candles and low-lamps. There was a fireplace and several old hunting utensils aligned on the walls.

 

They had each been handed a photocopy of an article based on a journalist’s visit to the tavern. It was very obviously from a trash magazine, but seemingly solidified the old sense of fun that tingled with the promise of old-world hauntings.

 

And toward the very back of the restaurant, near the bar, Josh, Donna, Willow, Sam, and Wesley dined. Accommodations were severe; they had to push several tables together to fit them all. Discussion was sporadic but fun; though Josh at several intervals looked ready to either strangle his assistant or crawl under the table in means of ulterior escape.

 

Now was one such time.

 

“I think the chain moved.”

 

Josh released a long breath. “The chain did not move, Donna.”

 

“I could’ve sworn I just saw the chain move.” She turned to the others for verification, eyes wide. “Didn’t any of you see the chain move?”

 

Sam shrugged apologetically. “Sorry.”

 

“First the cat,” the Deputy Chief of Staff mused with a wistful sigh. “Now this.”

 

Willow blinked with a frown. “Cat?”

 

“Oh no.”

 

Donna nodded. “There’s a cat that haunts the Capitol Building in DC.”

 

“There is not,” Josh refuted.

 

“You’re kidding!” Willow exclaimed excitedly.

 

“Oh, I wish.”

 

Sam smothered a grin.

 

The blonde woman nodded, ignoring Josh and taking a sip of water. “Yeah. Evidently, its appearance is supposed to be a warning that a national tragedy will occur.” At her boss’s snicker, she rolled her eyes and leaned forward conspiratorially. “Don’t mind Josh. He’s a non-believer.”

 

“It’s funny how my definition of sensible overlaps Donna’s interpretation of non-believers,” he snickered in turn.

 

“I believe I had read something up on that,” Wesley commented. “It was actually an area of concern for the Watc—ow!” He shot the redhead an apologetic, befuddled look, then turned to the others again. “Sorry…stubbed my toe.”

 

“Well, come on, Josh.” Donna rolled her eyes. “The cat was spotted and we got stuck in Natchez.”

 

“With as much of an inconvenience as it was, I hardly say that calls for a national tragedy,” Sam replied reasonably.

 

“I wouldn’t be so hasty,” the Deputy Chief of Staff murmured.

 

Willow bit her lip. “Is it really bad…you guys being here?”

 

“The President was talking about a battle that anyone who took eighth grade history would know about,” Josh retorted. “At a time when the Chief of Staff has come public with a former addiction to Valium and our approval ratings are reaching an all-time low. You do the math.”

 

Her eyes lit up. “Oh yeah! I’ve been meaning to ask you about Mr. McGarry. Is he—”

 

“Stop,” Sam advised softly. “Leo’s a soft-spot with all of us. It’s better just to stop.”

 

“Well, I don’t think he should be…I don’t think this should be a big thing, really.” Willow shrugged. “I mean, we don’t have all the info, right? Besides…you guys seem nice.”

 

“Leo’s like their father,” Donna explained. “They get antsy whenever it’s mentioned. And that chain just swung again.”

 

“He’s like your father, too,” Josh retorted. “And no it did not.”

 

“More like a favorite uncle. And it did, so.”

 

“The President’s approval ratings are at an all-time low?” Wesley asked softly, brow marring as a frown commanded his lips. “How odd. I was always rather fond of him.”

 

“Me too,” Willow agreed.

 

Josh leaned forward with interest. “Did you vote for us?”

 

“Well…I had just turned eighteen and I wasn’t really able to vote and…” She made an apologetic face. “I will next time, though. That was my birthday present to myself. I went to register to vote.”

 

Sam grinned. “That’s adorable.”

 

“You heard her, didn’t you?” The other man cocked a brow. “She had just turned eighteen.”

 

The Deputy Communications Director flushed. “So?” he said. “It can’t be adorable?”

 

Willow was turning redder than usual as well, and looked very eager for a change in subject. “A ghost cat, huh?” she asked, nodding at Donna. “Interesting. Anything else?”

 

“Don’t get her started.”

 

“Oh yeah,” the blonde replied, happily ignoring her boss’s protestations. “There were tons—stories from cultures all over, really. Some really creepy, but you wouldn’t want to hear about those. I—”

 

“I don’t mind the creep-factor. I’m kinda used to the oogly booglies.”

 

Sam tilted his head. “You believe in ghosts?”

 

Wesley coughed a little.

 

“Well…I didn’t always.” An ironic smile crossed her lips. “Let’s just say living in Sunnydale broadens one’s horizons.”

 

“Sunnydale?” He blinked. “From California?”

 

The former Watcher and the Witch paused with suspended disbelief.

 

“You know Sunnydale?”

 

“Well, I’ve never been there, myself, but I did hear things growing up.” He smiled. “I’m from Orange County, originally.”

 

“That and he’s Sam,” Josh pointed out. “If you asked him, he could probably tell you the best route to take on the way back.”

 

The man flushed again. “I would not…though, if you are open to suggestions, I would get back onto 65 and take it up to—”

 

“Don’t.” Donna’s eyes went wide. “He’s the one that got us south of Natchez while trying to find Vicksburg.”

 

“I believe that Josh was driving.”

 

The Deputy Chief of Staff snickered. “I believe that Josh was under orders from Leo McGarry.”

 

Willow raised her hand, smiling shyly. “I believe that I want to know what Sam has heard about Sunnydale.” At the look she received, she shrugged and took a bite of her shrimp salad. “I’m just curious…I never get to hear what others hear about where I come from.”

 

There was a chuckle at that. “Pretty radical stuff,” Sam replied. “When I was little, my friends and I would tell each other Sunnydale ghost stories at camp and sleepovers.”

 

Josh snickered incredulously. “There are ghost stories about a town called Sunnydale?”

 

“Some intense ones,” his friend verified with a nod.

 

Willow and Wesley exchanged an uncomfortable glance.

 

“I don’t remember seeing anything about it in my book,” Donna offered thoughtfully. “When we get back, I’ll look it up and—”

 

All was left at natural reflex. On the same beat, the redhead and the former Watcher leapt to their feet on a note of shared panic, their shrill octaves touching the air with measured objection. “NO!”

 

Three blank gazes followed their distress along with half the restaurant.

 

“’Kay…” Josh said slowly.

 

“I—uhhh—I mean…” Willow had turned the shade of a beet. “What did you—uhh…there’s…ohh. Ohh!” Her eyes widened with relief and she pointed with eagerness that did not know her. “Buffy!”

 

The attention of the table shifted accordingly.

 

“Great,” Josh murmured. “Just what we need.”

 

“Hey.” Donna thwapped his arm with a scold. “Buffy’s really nice.”

 

“Yeah, but she brought Psycho with her.”

 

The blonde pair stopped at the table; Spike’s brow arching at the lukewarm greeting he received. “Psycho heard that,” he replied before turning to Donna and offering a brilliant grin. “Evenin’, pet.”

 

While his intentions were very obviously to stir Josh’s temper, Willow frowned as Buffy went fleetingly rigid. Weird.

 

“Hi,” the assistant replied welcomingly.

 

“Sam,” the Deputy Communications Director said, waving a little.

 

“I remember you, mate.” The vampire turned and motioned for the nearest of the help to bring over two chairs. And the redhead watched with utter fascination as the bane of her best friend’s existence held her seat out for her and waited until she was comfortable before assuming the space beside her. It looked so routine, she would have thought they had done that forever if she didn’t know better.

 

That plus Buffy’s strange behavior yesterday at the Magnolia Grill plus the both of them disappearing for the entire day? And now here they were, acting as though they were best friends.

 

Not to quote Disney, but there was something there that wasn’t there before.

 

Not a bad something, but something.

 

Of course, Willow considered herself fairly open-minded. If this did turn out to be serious, it would be an entirely different matter with the others.

 

“So…Buffy, Spike,” Donna was saying as the waiting staff departed with the two newcomer’s orders. “What did you guys do today?”

 

The two exchanged a look.

 

“Looked for Faith,” the Slayer replied.

 

“All over the sodding place.”

 

Sam frowned. “Faith is that hard to find…in a small southern town? How disheartening.”

 

“She’s a person,” Willow reminded him.

 

“No leads, then?” Wesley asked, wiping his mouth with his napkin.

 

Buffy shook her head. “Notta one.”

 

“Though the blokes at Dunleith are gonna spread the word,” the vampire concluded. “An’ Maggie’s gonna be extra careful tomorrow at li’l Sue’s birthday.”

 

“Dunleith?”

 

“The house?” Donna replied, perking considerably. “The name sounds like one of the houses that’s in the book I got in the—”

 

Josh groaned. “For God’s sake, no more books!”

 

Spike rolled his eyes. “Every party has a pooper,” he chimed. “That’s why we invited you.”

 

“Actually, Billy, I was here first.”

 

“Oh dear,” Sam murmured.

 

Donna licked her lips and finished off the last of her ribs, meeting Buffy’s eyes with an air of apology. “The chain just swung again,” she said.

 

The Slayer nodded as though she understood. With Spike and Josh engaging in another verbal charge, it didn’t seem to matter in any regard.

 

“You’re telling me.”

Chapter Twelve

 

 

In the world according to Toby, every molecule of daily interaction revolved around making his life a living hell. With the President’s speech a thing of the past—the motorcade gone and Air Force One in the air and back again—he still couldn’t find a single car rental agency that would listen to his plight, nor could he find a mechanic with skills enough to repair the hunk of metal that was crowding the gravel driveway of a house he never wanted to see again.

 

It was strange. Hell, it was more than strange: it was downright bizarre. But Donna wasn’t complaining. Oh no. She reveled in it. The opportunity to inadvertently be granted the vacation that she had been bugging Josh for over the past forever. There were things to be done, she knew. Big, important things. But a little time away from the office would hardly be the downfall of a man as great as Josiah Bartlet—especially in the modern era of telephones, fax-machines, and e-mail.

 

And, as she had come to accept over the past year, as long as Leo McGarry was in the White House, there was nothing to fear.

 

Which was why, instead of yelling into her cell all day—as certain other unnamed persons were now attempting—she was lounged quite comfortably in the foyer of the Wensel House, debating whether or not she would like to retire to Natchez after Bartlet’s eight years were over.

 

And it would be eight. To suggest anything else was blasphemous.

 

Of course, to presume eight aloud was bad luck. She couldn’t win.

 

The company here was fabulous. She didn’t know what Josh’s problem was, other than the obvious, but she was having the time of her life. Buffy and Willow really reminded her of herself when she was that young. Ambitious, carefree, smart, and with their whole lives ahead of them. Their paths unblemished by the mistakes she had made.

 

A sad realization indeed. She was too young still to think of her life as no longer being ahead of her.

 

“Did you know it’s illegal to catch mice in Cleveland without a hunting license?” she asked as Wesley entered the room with what appeared to be an old history book. “Whoever passed that law must’ve been an animal-rights activist.”

 

The man offered a faint smile. “I find most American laws to be rather silly,” he replied.

 

“I’m right there with you.” Donna leaned back and released a long sigh. “So…England, huh?”

 

“God Save the Queen,” came the retort. His smile had turned rather shy, his eyes downcast. “I actually haven’t been home in quiet some time. I was last in London about two years ago…right before…well, I suppose you could say, my employer transferred me to the United States.”

 

“What do you do?”

 

There was a pause; he flashed her a deer-in-headlights look and gulped. “Pardon?”

 

“Your job…the one you had to come to the States to do?”

 

“Oh…of course.” The explanation obviously hadn’t done anything to change his disposition. He shifted a bit in his seat and cleared his throat. “I am an instructor.”

 

“Of what?”

 

“Uhhh…self-defense and weaponry.” At her skeptical look, he held up the history book and flashed a nervous smile. “Also…ancient cultures for the bizarre and otherworldly.”

 

“Are you related to Mr. Giles?”

 

“We’re in the same line of work. He and Buffy…” There was a pause at that. “He’s Buffy’s surrogate father, I suppose is the best way of putting it. She came to a point in her life when she needed an instructor…and the organization that employs us both sent him to her.”

 

“Are you guys like Rent-A-Teachers?”

 

Wesley flushed. “We’re not very well known in your circle. And actually, I am no longer employed there. I am a rogue dem—” He broke off and reddened even further. “I am a rogue.”

 

Donna blinked. “A rogue what?”

 

“I work with Angel, in Los Angeles.” He paused. “Well, I don’t really work with him. On occasion, I allow him to supervise my findings so that we might put our minds together to come to a similar, logical conclusion when any given issue is—”

 

“Angel…as in Buffy’s ex-boyfriend?”

 

Wesley’s eyes widened. “You know of Angel?”

 

“Well…I went out for bread pudding with Willow and Buffy a couple days ago. Or—when I say ‘went out’, I’m overstating it a little. We ran into each other.” She shrugged, an easy smile brightening her face. “They’re very nice. You all are. But you’re working for Angel?”

 

“With. With Angel.” The former Watcher laughed uneasily and leaned back. “Not really with, come to think of it. We’re mutual acquaintances in the same line of work that, on occasion, share information that will be mutually beneficial.”

 

“Okay. So what do you do now?”

 

“Angel is a private investigator.”

 

Donna frowned and gestured emphatically. “So that would make you a private investigator?”

 

“Of sorts. I do not have a license to practice in California.”

 

She nodded and chewed on that one for a minute. “Did you know that it’s illegal to eat oranges while in a bathtub in California?”

 

Wesley quirked a smile at that. “Do you memorize strange laws by practice?”

 

“It’s something to do.” Donna shrugged. “For instance, it is also illegal for a chicken to cross the road in some town in Georgia.”

 

“Well, naturally. It draws attention to a universal question that has baffled philosophers for years.”

 

“There’s also a law in Louisiana that says you can’t rob a bank and then shoot the teller with a water pistol.” She laughed. “Which, of course, suggests that robbing the bank is perfectly fine…but it’s a felony if you shoot anyone with water. And then another in Oregon that says no man may curse while having sex with his wife.”

 

Wesley was staring at her. “Damn yanks,” he murmured.

 

“You probably shouldn’t say that while we’re south of the Mason Dixon line.”

 

He smiled slightly and set his book aside. It was obvious that he wasn’t going to get any reading done. “So…tell me about what you do.”

 

*~*~*

 

The day was passing at a steady pace that Buffy had long taken for granted. By default, it was decided that Xander and Anya would cover the day shift of scouring the town for Faith—interrogating the same people and trying to cover bases that hadn’t yet been meddled with. Giles had phoned Angel in hopes of acquiring a rendering of her that he could staple onto streetlights and hand out across town. Evidently, her former boyfriend had foreseen being requested of such and had sketched a good likeness of the rogue Slayer; there simply wasn’t a fax-machine handy. The elder Watcher, for that reason, was currently hitting every modernized establishment in the hopes of locating anything that would be of any help and wasn’t having a good time of it.

 

Buffy had spent the day with Willow, who was trying to gather some ingredients for another location spell; no one had any idea why she would be successful on this endeavor and so utterly not on all those preceding. But at this point, she was willing to try anything. It was obvious they weren’t getting anywhere fast with the routine sweeps of the town, and no evidence had been presented to suggest that Faith had gone anywhere. She knew that Giles, when he wasn’t drinking, had been following the news programs for reports of her elsewhere; there was nothing. It was as though she had arrived in Natchez and fallen off the edge of the world.

 

There was something else. Neither Wesley nor Giles were exactly a part of the Watcher’s Council grapevine anymore. There was every possibility that the rogue Slayer had been apprehended right under their noses.

 

But even still, that didn’t seem altogether likely. Giles was still highly respected. Whenever the Watchers Council was about to interfere with their lives, they at least had the courtesy to let him know in advance.

 

Buffy and Willow were just returning from one of the novelty shops across the way from the Wensel House. The shops themselves were set into what used to be a train-depot—a mini-golf course separating the court down the middle. The Slayer was discovering that everything in the town was neatly naturalized like that—or as naturalized as a manmade structure could be. She wondered honestly, aside the chain restaurants, the shopping mall, and visitor’s center if there was any establishment within a hundred miles that had been constructed after 1912.

 

They hadn’t bought much. The Witch was out of an herb that she thought could be easily replaced with potpourri. And just like that, it was time to start again.

 

“I’m gonna go into the kitchen and mix some of these things together,” she said as she stepped onto the porch of the house. The sun was dipping out of the sky slowly; should this spell go right, Buffy and Spike would have a direction to target their search tonight. “If anything of the good happens, I’ll let you know.”

 

“Right.” The Slayer nodded, glancing with a weary sigh at Toby, Josh, and Sam who were trying to refigure the clockwork-like configuration under the hood of their all-but-dead automobile. “You know…I think it’s time for me to make Spike help them.”

 

“You think?! I thought I told you to last night.”

 

“Well…you know Spike. He doesn’t do anything if he doesn’t wanna.”

 

Willow’s eyes narrowed. “Yeah. And yet, you’re going to make him help them?”

 

Buffy didn’t miss the slightly edged accusatory tenor in her best-friend’s voice, nor did she think she needed to answer it. Especially when she hardly had things worked out for herself. “Yeah. Why? Are you eager for Sam to be gone?”

 

The redhead’s eyes lost their indictment and she flushed accordingly. “That’s not the point,” she said. Then disappeared inside before another charge of the nature could be voiced.

 

Buffy smothered a grin and turned to circumvent the home and head around toward the townhouse where she found Spike sleeping lightly on the sofa. The sight should have annoyed her, but they had stayed up late the night before talking about a number of things that weren’t as important as they had seemed. She was moving beyond the part of her introspection and self-criticism for expanding her relationship with the vampire. It wasn’t wrong anymore—or if it was, she had surpassed the glamour of its influence.

 

Getting to know Spike was likely the most revolutionary thing that had happened in her adult life. He was taking her expectations and blowing so far past them that she could barely keep up. He was dangerously close to becoming a friend, if he wasn’t already. And by how shamelessly they had flirted in the past two days—something more. Much more.

 

And that terrified her.

 

With as much as she did not want to disturb him, they would have no peace unless they utilized every asset to assist the staffers on their journey out of town. Back to the world where things made sense, if it wasn’t already too late. And since Spike’s skills with a car had been boasted far and wide, he was their final resort. The resort that could have been taken two days prior had she not been so thoroughly engaged in more pleasurable pursuits of entertaining his company.

 

But that was over, now. And they needed him up.

 

Which meant…

 

Buffy released a long sigh and moved forward, reaching for the remote and flicking the television off. She was hoping that alone would do the trick, but her vampire was determined to be contrary. He didn’t budge. Didn’t murmur. Didn’t do anything to suggest that he was anything other than dead.

 

That would not do.

 

“Spike.” Yeah, that’ll work.

 

The Cockney murmured and rolled further into the cushions.

 

“Spike!”

 

He crooned his head a bit against the sofa arm and then sank into deepened slumber.

 

Okay, so Giles was right. He did sleep like the dead.

 

So much for the diplomatic approach.

 

Buffy huffed out another sigh and caved, crossing the room so she could assault him bodily—which hey, not complaining. She didn’t do much more than prod his shoulder, though her hand did take a brief detour to run through his peroxide locks to see if they were as soft as they looked.

 

And oh, they were.

 

How in the world did he take such good care of his hair with all the crap he put in it? Easy answer—he was a guy, and thus all things hair-wise came naturally.

 

Life was so unfair.

 

“Spike!” she said loudly. “Come on. Wakey, wakey! Rise and shiii…oh, well, you probably don’t like the ‘shine’ part all that much. How about rise and…well, dark’s lame but, you’re not giving me much to work with here.” Nothing. “Come on! Fresh blood in the kitchen for vamps who wake up in less than five seconds.” Still nothing. She pouted. “Okay, so you got me. You are the residential vamp, and seeing as you’re the only one of said persuasion that I can tolerate as of now, the blood is probably yours. ‘Cause, really? Gross. Massively disgusting. Major ‘ding’ on the ick factor. But hey! Still there, and it isn’t getting any fresher.” Nothing. “Okay. That’s it. I’m taking off my shirt.”

 

What happened next occurred in a blink. One minute she was standing above the sofa; the next, Spike had seized her wrist and tugged her onto him, his hands holding her at the waist as his eyes came open. The smirk on his face was enough to verify that he had been awake for some time, and his eyes danced as her jaw dropped with indignance.

 

“Why you little—”

 

“Thought I’d better stop you before you started strippin’, luv. While you’d find many an appreciative eye in this room, the blinds are up an’ the view from the parkin’ lot’s nearly panoramic.” He grinned unrepentantly as her gaze darted to the open window above them and widened in astonishment. Not that she had really been planning on disrobing, of course. The thought alone provided enough embarrassment to fund burrowing a hole to crawl into. When she looked back at Spike, he was obviously very pleased with himself; his tongue running over his teeth in a way that he had to know was too sexy for words. “Though, ‘f you wanted to gimme a free show here an’ now, I wouldn’t be one to complain.”

 

“You pig!”

 

“Oink bloody oink. Come on.” He tugged teasingly at her hem, eyes sparkling with mischief. “Take it off.”

 

Buffy guffawed her frustration and battled away his prying hands. “Let me up.”

 

“Nah. ‘m rather comfy, myself.”

 

“Spike!”

 

He positively purred. “That’s right. Yell it. Nice, loud, an’ with a li’l ‘umph.’”

 

“I swear to God.” Buffy grumbled. “Spike, come on. Let me up.”

 

“You’re the Slayer. Make me let you up.”

 

She deliberately chose not to answer the logic of that argument, placing her hands firmly on his chest and wiggling for leverage.

 

Wrong move. Definitely wrong move. A long moan hissed through his teeth and she felt the consequences of his physical reaction pressed against her in a manner that she had never thought to experience, least of all from the persistently annoying vampire beneath her.

 

Spike at least had the decency to look embarrassed. As well he should; while he might be of the male species and thought perpetually with that particularly part of his anatomy, he was the one that was holding her to him. The flash only lasted a minute, though, and he gathered his bearings before the cocky, self-assured look that she knew so well dominated his eyes once more. “Oh yeh, kitten,” he cooed nastily. “Li’l to the left.”

 

That was it. Buffy popped him in the nose and was up in two seconds.

 

“Bloody hell…”

 

“Don’t ‘bloody hell’ me, you…pig.”

 

The vampire arched a pointed look in her direction, cautiously examining the tenderness of the skin she had just assaulted. “Bugger all, Slayer, can’t you think of anythin’ with a li’l originality?”

 

“So says you, you big ass.”

 

His eyes softened with almost immediate shades of apology. “Buffy, I—”

 

“No. All with the…the no. And the no.” She shook her head. “You’re going to get outside, fix their damn car, and then we’re going to find Faith and get far, far away from here. You got me?”

 

There was nothing for a minute. Then a small smile crossed his face. “Yeh,” he retorted. “I got you, all right.”

 

She didn’t know, but there was something about the way he said it that made her think he wasn’t referring to the simple basics of elementary comprehension. And that was all sorts of bad.

 

“An’ sorry.” He tilted his head curiously. “’Bout bein’ me.”

 

Buffy arched a cool brow. “Since when have you ever apologized for being you?”

 

“Since I started to value our…whatever we have.” He smiled kindly and rose to his feet. “I like you when you’re not bein’ a bitch, Summers. Hell, ‘f I wanna be honest, I like you pretty much all the time. An’ I liked yesterday…an’ last night. I liked it a lot. Don’ wanna muck it up ‘cause I got me a wicked tongue that doesn’ know when to stop.”

 

A very naughty word picture threw off the charm of his apology unexpectedly. She flushed again. “Well…it’s not…mucked, that is. Or whatever you call it. And…” Almost quieter. “I don’t mind you being you…most of the time. Just…ummm…” And suddenly, she was at a loss for words. Her mind blanked and her tongue swelled. Nasty Spike she could deal with. Human Spike was becoming a good friend. But sweet Spike? No. She wasn’t ready for that. Not yet. “I—uhh. Willow. I should go and…Willow…she’s doing the…the thing. The spell…inside the house…to find Faith. You know. I…ummm…I’m gonna go…change, and then I’m—not that you need to know that I’m changing or—”

 

Spike merely smiled and brushed past her. “Sun’s set on this side,” he said. “’m gonna go fix the car.”

 

And just like that, he was gone, leaving her alone and dumbfound.

 

But more grateful than he could imagine.

 

 

 Chapter Thirteen

 

 

“Well, it’s about time,” Toby snapped as Spike approached, abruptly hanging up on whoever he had been barking at and stuffing the cell phone into his pocket. “You know, you really put truth to the old adage that the road to Hell is paved with Good Samaritans.”

 

Josh looked up from where he was holding a flashlight for Sam, gaze skeptical. “You mean he’s gonna stop being a jackass and lend us a hand?”

 

The vampire stopped soundly in his tracks without a note of apology. Bloody decent way to get what you want—though these wankers were politicians from the country’s very own capital, so he couldn’t be too surprised. Instead, his brows perked with indifference and he reached into the pockets of his duster to dig out his cigarettes. “Well,” he retorted, lighting up. “Since you asked so nicely.”

 

“We’ve been asking you for two days,” the Communications Director grumbled.

 

“No. I believe you’ve been tellin’ me to do it on an unfounded presumption of my skills in this department.” Spike grinned and indulged a long puff. “I never told a one of you that ‘m good with cars. You heard that bit from Red. ‘Course, she happens to be right; the thing is, I don’ rightly care much ‘f you get back or not. An’, I might add, that none of you bothered to ask me. ‘S it so bloody beneath you to say ‘please’?”

 

Josh and Toby paused, exchanged a long look, and answered on the same beat. “Well…yeah.”

 

It was obviously meant to be taken as a joke, but the vampire rolled his eyes and flicked his fag to the ground. “Unbloodybelievable.”

 

At the hood of the car, Sam strained and wiped his forehead with the back of his greasy hand. “Not beneath me to ask,” he offered. “I’ve been about as successful in my attempts to piece the car together as I would be trying to fix a pocket watch with a hammer.” He met the Cockney’s eyes and stepped aside more than willingly. “She’s all yours.”

 

There were certain things that put a vampire in his element. Blood, violence, and showing up a group of arrogant humans. Thus when Spike stepped away less than three minutes later, nodded at the gits and turned to retreat back indoors, he was more than satisfied.

 

“I could’ve done that,” Josh murmured as Toby slid into the driver’s side for an impromptu turn around the parking lot to confirm that everything was in working condition. Just like that.

 

Simplicity was maddening at times.

 

“I’ll take it for a test drive tonight,” Sam said. “If it’s really running as well as it seems to be, we should be ready to leave by tomorrow morning.”

 

“Why not leave now?”

 

“Because,” Toby retorted as he slipped out of the car. “We don’t want to get stuck in another Hicktown with no means of getting out.”

 

“Plus we’re paid through tomorrow,” his Deputy added with annoying rationale.

 

Josh offered a begrudging nod. “Yeah, yeah. But honestly, what are the odds that we would end up stranded in another place without a surplus of rental cars or mechanics at our disposal?”

 

The Communications Director smiled a little. “Well, considering your supreme skills of navigation, I suppose that is aiming a little high. After all, being stuck anywhere remotely near civilization was a lucky break, wasn’t it? We’d be fortunate not to end up in Nova Scotia.”

 

“For the last time—”

 

“I’m taking the car for a test-drive tonight,” Sam said. “All right?”

 

There was a brief pause. Nothing more worth arguing over.

 

“Right.”

 

“It’s the smart thing to do,” Toby murmured.

 

“We’re Democrats. Since when have we been credited for doing the smart thing?”

 

“Someone has to do the smart thing, even if they don’t get the credit,” Sam offered reasonably. There were times when logic and mindless ranting were not linear, and thus when clumped together, found most annoying. The Deputy Communications Director had his noted temper tantrums, but he tended to keep his cool much longer than either of his colleagues.

 

A wane grin tickled Toby’s mouth. “I think you’ve been in the backwash country for too long.”

 

“I’d been here too long before we got on the plane in DC,” Josh retorted.

 

Sam stepped in as the great neutralizer, hands in the air in a call for diplomacy. “It’s fine, guys. It’s fine. I’ll take the car for a test-drive tonight. In the meantime, I’m sure there are other ways to make ourselves useful around here. And someone owes Spike a thank you.”

 

“Not I.”

 

“Why can’t you test-drive it now?” Josh asked.

 

“Because I’m greasy and hungry and would prefer a shower before taking on any other activity. And I don’t want either of you near the car, because I have handled this entire ordeal much better than both of you combined and quite frankly, we can’t afford that kind of negative Karma.” Sam wiped his hands against his jeans. “I am going to go clean-up and make a sandwich.”

 

Josh and Toby exchanged another long look that clearly read a predisposition of inherent disagreement. There was nothing for a long minute, then the former released a breath and sighed his resignation. “It’s just one night.” It was palpable he was making an attempt at optimism, though the sentiment didn’t reach his eyes.

 

It could have ended there, but it didn’t. Toby didn’t reply, but response had never stopped the Deputy Chief of Staff from talking. And thus, as some cosmic punch line, he spoke the unspeakable. In was an unfortunate but inevitable reality.

 

“What could go wrong?”

 

*~*~*

 

It wasn’t as though she went searching for these situations to fit herself into. They seemed to find her perfectly well on their own without outside interference. And today was certainly one of those days where situational dilemmas were searing in popularity. Everything had simply ganged up against her with some resolute determination to go wrong.

 

She had heard him come in; it was impossible not to, as he hardly tiptoed through the front door. The past ten minutes had been spent buried in her designated room, looking through clothes to find an article that was neither a turn-off nor come-hithery. With the way they had been playing at it, she wanted her clothes to make as much statement as possible as to the status of her confused feelings. Not indifferent but unsure. Interested but hesitant. While everything thus far was more than mutual, they had yet to trust words with the emotions they had been dancing around. Clothing, in this instance, would have to do the trick.

 

He was supposed to be fixing the car, and he was back. It aggravated her at first, but she knew without question that Spike wasn’t one to be ordered around, even and especially by her. Disobedience in this particular regard hardly surprised.

 

That was until she peeked outside and saw Toby Ziegler performing provisional doughnuts in the parking lot. At that, Buffy had to smile.

 

Spike had come through. In less than ten minutes.

 

“He’s good,” she murmured.

 

It wasn’t until a moment later that she realized the shower was running. He must have come in directly from the car and to the lavatory without stopping. Which meant that she was alone in the townhouse with a wet, naked vampire.

 

The same wet, naked vampire that had pulled her against him less than a half hour before.

 

A color of naughty thoughts bombarded her mind, ignoring her pleas for neutrality. This was no good. It was no good, but similarly inevitable with the endless couple of days they had spent together. The shameless flirtation that grew more potent with every exchange. Every glance. Every everything.

 

She knew that she should turn around and leave him to his peace. Besides, it was beyond time to see Willow. Thus expelling a deep breath to compose herself, she turned for the door with every intention of marching through.

 

That was until the acoustics gave way and started playing the Devil’s song. She had heard the sound before: once from Angel. His quiet baritone tickling her ear as he tried to sooth her aching body with gentility and poise. Not too long ago from Parker as he used her presence as means for his own end, no matter how attentive he had been in the course of her own pleasure after he was sated.

 

If there was anything her two failed encounters with sex had taught her, it was the difference between moans of pleasure and moans of pain. Simple elementary, but true nonetheless.

 

And by the potency of Spike’s whimpers, it didn’t take a rocket-scientist to figure out what he was doing in there.

 

Oh god.

 

Logic was a funny thing. Logic told her very plainly to turn promptly at the heel and continue toward the door, unhampered. Logic told her that regardless of anything that had occurred over the past couple days, this was very obviously the vampire’s private time and to leave him alone. Logic told her that it was none of her damn business what he did behind closed doors. Logic told her that he didn’t know she was still there; else he wouldn’t be doing…that. Well, at least not that loudly.

 

And just when she needed it the most, logic promptly flew out the window. Before she could stop herself, Buffy was following her feet’s command to satisfy the nagging curiosity in her gut. To fuel the shades of arousal that tackled her just at the thought of him touching himself like that. Bad thoughts. Bad, bad thoughts. She was just asking for trouble.

 

Yes. I’ll have two helping’s of trouble and a diet coke. Thanks.

 

The thought did little to quell the nervous titter that spread in her stomach. She was at trouble’s entrance, literally; she and Spike were separated by a door and a door alone.

 

And that door would just have to be ajar.

 

Buffy released a shuddering breath and dared a step forward, ignoring the voice of inner conscience that screamed she was violating every code of ethics she tried to live by. It didn’t matter. She had an imp on each shoulder and couldn’t move away for anything in the world.

 

Especially when she caught a glance of him through the transparent shower curtain. The world as she knew it might as well have blinked itself away.

 

Spike was standing at an angle, head under the nozzle with water pellets rolling down his back. His left hand was pressed against the wall as though to keep himself from tumbling over completely. And his other…ohhh. The sharp, desperate movement of his arm timed perfectly to the thrust of his hips was easily the most erotic scene she had ever witnessed. The strangled moans rumbling from his throat bounced off the walls with strong confinement—each sending intent drives of pure, unmitigated desire to her core.

 

God, why hadn’t she felt like this before? Why was this the most sensual moment of her life? Sure, there was something intimately stimulating about watching without permission—seeing him take his pleasure in stolen moments. But for all the world, she had never craved like this before. Not Angel. Not anyone.

 

Spike was a work of beauty. A god among men.

 

The fire in her belly was growing unbearable. Her fingers strained and her skin ached for his. She had never been so turned on in her life, and knew vaguely that the thought should disturb her, but it didn’t. It didn’t. It was wrong but right. So right.

 

Wanting Spike was right. She had crossed that line. It was okay now.

 

His gasps were becoming sharper, his movements gaining momentum. If possible, the ceaseless pumping of his hand reached epic proportions. As though he needed a thought of pain alongside satisfaction. And when his climax was upon him, he released a heady moan, whimpered her name with as much craving as she had ever heard one person bear, and slumped against the wall as water ran down his back and aftermath took hold of him.

 

Buffy’s world came crashing down. The liquid heat pooling between her thighs was becoming excruciating, the scent of her own appeal tackling her senses and sending off a warning signal that she could not quite abide. Without looking at her, without touching her, without anything, Spike had made her feel more like a woman than anyone before him. It filled her with both gratification and terror. Apprehension and furthered strings of longing. Her stomach was empty and fluttering, her heart pounding, her senses on overload and her mind trying to send her a thousand and a half signals at once.

 

He had called her name as he came.

 

Her name.

 

It occurred to her belatedly that standing outside the bathroom wasn’t the best idea in the world. Now was not the time for introspection: it was the time for avoidance and feigned ignorance and oh my god had she mentioned that Spike had just gotten off while thinking about her?

 

The shower stopped running, and all thought with it. Her feet started moving before her brain could catch up. She needed to get out of the townhouse. She needed to be where the air was clean and not fogged with lusty Spike thoughts or how she wanted to jump him before he got out of the shower and demand that he fix her problem. Now was not the time.

 

Never was the time. She might want him, but she could never act on it. Never.

 

Yeah. Right. Her mind wasn’t buying that.

 

Neither was her heart. Not anymore. Her heart was already in this too deeply.

 

Buffy stepped outside and shook her head. She couldn’t think of this now. Not now. They were here to do a job. A job they had somehow gotten nowhere on in the three days since arriving. A job that they needed to start taking seriously. This was no time to be worrying with such things.

 

Somewhere she knew, though, that that excuse could only last so long. They were in too deep to stop this now. And even if that weren’t the case, she wouldn’t want to. Not with everything that had happened.

 

And that thought terrified her beyond reason.

 

*~*~*

 

Willow frowned as the water hissed and bubbled over the rim of her borrowed pot, leaping back just before it could splatter along her arm. “Okay, Mr. Oregano,” she said in a faux-menacing tenor, eyes darkening. “I know you’re not exactly the herb I usually use for these sorts of spells, but you don’t have to get all pissy about it. Really—if I could find some genuine rue herbs, I wouldn’t be using you. B-besides…you’re more a seasoning then an herb…but the Wiccan Hotline told me that this…” She trailed off and her frown deepened. “I’m talking to a pot. There’s no one here but me and a pot…and now I’m talking to myself about talking to a pot. Get a hold of yourself, Rosenberg.”

 

It wasn’t as much that she was talking to the pot; she was talking to it as though it would talk back. Not that such was out of the realm of possibility, of course. Stranger things had happened.

 

“Words to live by,” she murmured, raising a hand to beckon a wooden ladle her way. All in all, she wasn’t really expecting this to work. The supplies were all wrong and the spells were pretty much case sensitive, though she didn’t want to tell Buffy and get her hopes up.

 

Of all the possibilities she had planned for upon preparing for the otherwise spontaneous excursion this far south, she hadn’t foreseen encountering a dilemma where there were no magic stores at the ready. Natchez evidently didn’t believe in witchcraft, which didn’t surprise her. She didn’t know what she had been expecting. The South was moderately conservative when it came to such things; New Orleans the only exception that immediately came to mind. So here she was—waiting for an emergency shipment from a supplier in Sunnydale and using cooking ingredients as meager substitutes.

 

It might work. She didn’t think so, but evidently witches before her had been successful. Of course, witches before her had also been far more gifted in their craft. She was an amateur in a world she wanted to know better.

 

Which was good, because Willow hardly refused a challenge of this nature.

 

“Salagadoola methinks boola, bibbidi-bobbidi-boo,” she sang absently, motioning for the heat on the stove to increase before sending the ladle to attentively stir while she searched for other seasonings. If anything, she was certainly getting better at simple levitation. The days of floating pencils were behind her, though she was still far from her goal of lifting pianos. “Put 'em together and what have you got? Bibbidi-bobbidi-boo.” She motioned for the cupboard on the other side of the kitchen to open. The hotline had also told her that basic salt, which she used anyway, and cumin could make amicable substitutes if necessary. “Salagadoola mechicka boola, bibbidi-bobbidi-boo. It'll do magic believe it or not. Bibbidi-bobbidi-boo.”

 

Willow grinned and slid across the wooden island in the middle, encouraging her brewing pot of mixed goodies to follow. She indicated another cupboard and immediately had a bowl to her liking alongside the pot before motioning for it to take place under the faucet at the sink. The wooden ladle she had been toying with a minute before came immediately to her grasp, and she used it to thumb through the jars of cooking mixes the Wensel House owners had stocked for their guests. Any other time, she would have felt guilty for so shamelessly using all of the ingredients in the kitchen for means that were far placed from culinary, but Mrs. Miller had been nothing but accommodating, even encouraging, in that regard. She would remember to send her and her husband thank you cards for such lovely treatment while staying at their Bed and Breakfast when they inevitably returned to Sunnydale.

 

“Salagadoola means mechicka booleroo. But the thingmabob that does the job is, bibbidi-bobbidi-boo.” Willow turned again and summoned one of the flashlights she had found under the sink to her side, flicking it on with a tilt of her head as her eyes scoured the cabinet. “Salagadoola menchicka boola bibbidi-bobbidi-boo. Put 'em together and what have you got? Bibbidi-bobbidi, bibbidi-bobbidi, bibbidi-bobbidi—”

 

A piercing shriek rang through the air, effectively slicing through her concentration and breaking the stability of her various flying utensils. The redhead gasped and whirled around, caught the wide-eyed panic-stricken gaze of Sam before realizing that her potion was about to splatter boiling hot water across the kitchen floor.

 

What came next was what was natural to her. She could hardly let the pot hit the ground. That would lead to badness, and possible second-degree burns. Thus, in a loud and commanding voice, she snapped, “Sisto!” and suspended the fall in mid-air.

 

It was only after she had a control on her potion that she felt it safe to look back up to Sam, which turned out to be a very bad mistake. He was screaming again in an instant. Screaming, but not running, which either meant it was reactionary or he didn’t remember that he had legs. Willow flashed him an apologetic look before nodding to her pot, sending it back to the stove with a definitive hiss.

 

The screaming came to an end, but the look of utter terror did not.

 

The redhead bit her lip and held up a hand. “I…ummm…hi! I…uhhh…just…this is…something…I’m just…I was just…” She took a cautionary step forward and flinched when he automatically retracted it in the opposite direction. “Please. Please don’t be…afraid. Ummm…I…” She released a deep breath. “I know what it looks like. I was just…you see, there’s this hobby of mine, and I guess you can say—”

 

“I wanted a sandwich.”

 

Willow blinked. It took a minute to register that he had actually spoken. “Oh. Oh! Well…here…I can make you a sandwich. Turkey? Ham? Peanut butter and jelly? I can make a mean peanut butter and jelly. Oh, I can even…ummm…you want a boiled egg? I can boil an egg and—”

 

Sam shook his head rapidly, eyes wide with conviction. He seemed to have surpassed the screaming phase and was more into shock, but not because he was still responsive. “No. No. I’m just…I’m just going to go away now. I’m going to go away…and be…away.”

 

No. No, that couldn’t happen. The last thing she needed was one of the most important and influential men in the country thinking he had lost his mind—or worse—putting her in some institution for the magically inclined…or wherever they would put her. Willow stepped forward, eyes large with worry. “No…no, it’s okay, Sam. It’s…I’m a witch. I am. But I’m a good witch. I’m Glinda. The one that the munchkins liked? I-I wouldn’t hurt a fly or even a…fly. I’m sorry I scared you, but it’s just something I do.”

 

He was just staring at her. She didn’t know if the words were clicking in the way they were supposed to. “You’re a witch.”

 

“Yes. A witch. But a good witch. Emphasis on the good part, there. I’m a very good witch.” The redhead huffed up a little with furthered assurance. “In fact, if there was a reward for good witches—benevolent witches, I’d take it home. You know why? I’m a good witch. I…” Sam’s eyes broke from hers and turned to the scene around them, taking in the telltale signs—at least in his hindsight—of witchcraft in the works. She followed him without missing a beat, reaching up to brush hair from her eyes. “You see, I was just…umm…Faith. We need to find Faith…and I was trying a location spell. I’m not very good at location spells, but I thought—”

 

“I thought you were a good witch,” he replied. She didn’t think he was even aware he was speaking.

 

“I’m not. I really suck. I’ve been at the same level for—” Willow broke off when his gaze went wide again. “Oh, you meant good as in benign. I am! I am! I totally am! You’ll never find a better witch. I—”

 

Of course, just when things might have started to go right, everything would have to be shot to hell in the proverbial handbasket. And in all fairness, Xander wasn’t used to censoring his comments. Witchcraft wasn’t exactly an abnormality in Sunnydale—one of the many luxuries of their hometown that they evidently took for granted.

 

Which was why, she supposed, that he didn’t think before yelling, “Hey, Will! Anya wants to share a room tonight. Will you please tell Wes that you won’t turn him into a newt if he creeps onto your…” He pushed open the kitchen door and nearly tripped over himself at the sight of Sam standing in the middle of a very magic-inflicted area. “…side. Oh, I didn’t know you were—”

 

The Deputy Communications Director finally snapped, moving for the door with such swiftness that he might as well have tried out for the Olympic track team. “I have to go now.”

 

Willow stepped forward pleadingly. “Sam—”

 

“No. I have to go now.”

 

Xander licked his lips as the man brushed past him, offering his friend a wan, apologetic smile. “Oops?”

 

The redhead whimpered miserably. This was bad. This was beyond bad. She had mucked things up in a royal only-Willow-can-do-this-manner. Giles was going to be angry. Livid, even.

 

And strange as it was, that thought didn’t bother her as much as the idea of Sam thinking ill of her. Of being afraid of her. Of the way he had looked at her before he left.

 

Her face must have been ready to crumble, because Xander stepped forward, all apology, and took her into his arms. “Oh, Will. I’m sorry. I didn’t think. I—”

 

“No.” His shoulder muffled her voice. “It wasn’t you. It was me. It was all me.”

 

Her. Always her. Her fault. Her mess. Her screw-up.

 

Always.

 

How in the world was she going to fix this?

 

*~*~*

 

In loo of not wanting to face anyone at the moment, Buffy decided to skip peeking in on Willow and the spellcasting that was her. It was the clumsy thing to do, she knew, but she also knew that if there were any genuine leads on Faith that her friend would let her know. And even so, by the time Spike was ready for their nightly sweep of the town, her friend had evidently already packed everything in and retired for the night. The Slayer found it strange that she hadn’t stopped to tell her how the spell went or goodnight, but decided not to dwell. Everyone had been at odds and ends since arriving.

 

Buffy’s face flamed as Spike stepped out of the townhouse and she did her damndest to avoid his eyes without being obvious. She waited until he had double-checked the lock before whispering her greeting. When they started walking in syncopation for the Winnebago, she did as best she could to stay at least five paces ahead of him.

 

Which didn’t work.

 

“Hey! Hold up there, pet.”

 

Buffy was tempted to walk even faster but decided that was ridiculous. Acting suspicious would do nothing but get her in trouble. “Sorry,” she said, conversational as possible. “I was just…I wanna get back quick tonight. Get some sleep.”

 

Avoid you like the plague ‘cause I’m a big perv and you masturbate while thinking about me…which I shouldn’t know, but I do, ‘cause I’m a big perv.

 

“Yeh. Been lackin’, too.” Spike dug out his cigarettes and leapt forward to hold her door open for her before she climbed into the passenger seat. Had he not made the obvious attempt to extend a hand at courtesy, she wouldn’t have noticed. He had; she did, and her blushes grew more potent.

 

Which, of course, he caught. Vampire and all. He could probably smell that her blood was hotter than usual. “What’s wrong, Summers?” he asked, frowning as he lit up. “You’re warm…are you feelin’ all right?”

 

Just say no and go to bed.

 

But no. No. Sensible or not, the sun had just fully set and she knew that sleep was not going to happen at all tonight, regardless of when she started trying.

 

“I…uhhh…I’m fine.”

 

He peered closer at her. “Are you blushin’?”

 

“No. I’m just—”

 

Spike chuckled and released the door handle, hands coming up diplomatically. “Look, pet. Jus’ wanted to be chivalrous. No strings. Don’ go gettin’ all dainty on me ‘cause I do have cause to use manners on occasion.”

 

Buffy opened her mouth to argue, then closed it again and sat back with a mute nod. Better to agree with him than explain herself.

 

The front door of the Wensel House swung open before another word could be spared, and Sam came bounding around the corner, eyes wide with a drive that she couldn’t quite identify. He stopped when he saw them and flustered as though he owed them an explanation. “I’m going for my test-drive now,” he said.

 

The blondes just looked at him.

 

“Yeh…” Spike said, cocking a brow. “’S fine, mate. There wasn’ much wrong with it to begin with.”

 

“Yes, but I must go test-drive it now.”

 

And that was all he said. Before either of them could retort, he had climbed into the rental and pulled out as though all Hell’s demons were following.

 

“An’ that’s the bloke that Red likes?” the vampire asked, slipping around to the driver’s side door and sliding behind the wheel.

 

“I think so. She hasn’t admitted anything.” And in the category of schoolgirl infatuations, neither of them had. For some reason, she didn’t think Willow would handle her crushing on Spike as well as Buffy would her crushing on Sam.

 

The thought made her face flame even more. Which, naturally, the vampire noticed.

 

“Kitten, are you sure you’re okay?”

 

He calls me kitten.

 

“Yeah…ummm…yes. Yes.” Buffy nodded. “We should go. Cemetery tonight. That okay with you?”

 

Spike grinned. “Vampire, luv. ‘S home sweet home for me.”

 

They continued like that for several minutes. Quiet, reserved trade as the Cockney navigated the Winnebago through downtown Natchez. They were getting better at the art of map reading and finding-without-asking-for-directions. The town was peppered with one-way streets that they had yet to master, but the vampire was notably talented at correcting a blunder if he made a wrong turn.

 

They had gotten good at this teamwork thing. And they were getting better yet.

 

Buffy was enjoying the silence, answering a few questions and reassuring him that she was fine every few minutes as her guilt waned and she started to feel like herself again. She was ready for another night of this—of being with Spike and getting to know who he was on levels never before touched by inquiring human minds.

 

She could do this. She could be with him like this, as friends. She could want him and know that he wanted her, too. She could do this until she was ready for the next level. She could—

 

Buffy’s eyes bulged as they came to a stop at a red light. “Oh my God.”

 

“Hmmm?”

 

“Spike, go.”

 

“What?”

 

“Go. Now. Foot to pedal. Drive!”

 

“’S a red light.”

 

“Run it.” She leaned forward. “Now!”

 

Spike arched a brow but shrugged and did as he was told. “Okay, you got me. Breakin’ the law’s my specialty. We bein’ followed?”

 

“No. We’re following the Toyota.”

 

He frowned and glanced to the car ahead. As though it knew it was being discussed, it had practically torn the road apart with its leave. “Why?”

 

“Because,” she said simply, “—and don’t ask me how I know this. I just do. And drive faster!”

 

“Know what?”

 

She released a breath. Strange. She had never been surer of anything in her life. Beyond reasonability. Beyond doubt. There was no knowledge if she wasn’t positive about what lay ahead.

 

Thunder rumbled in the distance. The sky was ready to open with a storm.

 

“It’s Faith.”

 

Spike’s eyes widened at her. But he did not question. Did not doubt. Simply nodded and indicated that she should buckle her safety belt.

 

And drove.

 

A/N: May contain disturbing imagery.

 

 

 

Chapter Fourteen

 

 

Rain splattered heavily along the windshield, blending the onslaught of highlights into one shape. He hadn’t seen anything like it—fine one minute and pouring the next. Absolutely pouring. The change had occurred so rapidly that he briefly thought he was dreaming; only his dreams were that choppy. And such would certainly explain what he had seen earlier.

 

But no. He wasn’t surrounded with the fogged sense of alternative reality. A sigh shuddered through his lips. This was real. It was all real. Furthermore, the rain and the humidity were doing a number to fog up his glasses. He briefly debated pulling over to get a hold of himself; it was hard enough to see with a perpetual flood washing down his line of vision. And very much like the President, Sam wasn’t the most cautious driver when his emotions were erratic.

 

Right now—all things considered—erratic was too tame a word to describe the wealth of skewed feelings that had his internal networking in overdrive.

 

Witchcraft.

 

The Deputy Communications Director shook his head. No. It wasn’t possible. While Sam had never doubted his vision in such a large magnitude, he simply could not wrap his comprehension around the concept that so blatantly defied every logic he knew to be true. It couldn’t be. It just couldn’t be. Witchcraft was practiced, sure, but it wasn’t serious. It wasn’t…people couldn’t do that. They just couldn’t.

 

Sam was a man of faith; there was no doubt about that. While he had never endured a genuine religious experience, he was accepting and even somewhat hopeful of the possibility. He relied on his Catholicism when things became too rough, referred to the teachings of his mother above everything else, and did his best to do right by people. It had been months since his last confession, though, and even longer since the last time he attended Mass. There just wasn’t time for that anymore. Not for any of them. Of everyone he knew, Toby and the President were the only two members of the Senior Staff that heartily attempted to keep their religion a focal point in their lives—though he honestly didn’t know if Toby went to Temple because it was habit or for affirmation. He just knew that he went.

 

That aside, he knew what he knew. He knew what he believed. He knew that many of his beliefs conflicted with the teachings of Holy Mother Church, and that likely played an unspoken factor in his lack of attendance. Similarly, he knew that the President’s religion had gotten him into trouble with religious groups—particularly the Religious Right—time and time again for his more liberal view on the Constitution. This was a man who preached against abortion while confirming his belief in a woman’s right to choose. A man who favored condoms in schools and stricter regulation on gun control. A man who believed it was never too late to turn a life around, and would abolish the death penalty in a blink if he could.

 

Sam was a bit more out there than that. He believed there was no such thing as an absolute right or wrong. That society had deconstructed itself to a point where good could not be seen without evil. But he did believe that good always prevailed when helped. When given that push forward. And he believed with all his heart that he was here doing a genuine good. That Josiah Bartlet was a better man than had ever before served as Commander and Chief, and the country took that for granted in ways that boggled his mind.

 

And yet, despite the absolute of goods and evils in society and the vast depth of Sam’s ability to seek out the gray areas, witchcraft was simply not one of them. He had never been very good in physics, but he knew what a human was and wasn’t capable of. And no one could do what he had seen Willow doing.

 

Only…only…

 

This was typical. This was beyond typical. This was the Seaborn curse. Find a girl, like her, get to know her, like her even more, and then BAM. Something bad. Always something bad. He had simply assumed that Willow’s age was the bad thing and that everything else was on safe territory. But no. Oh no. She had to be a witch. Of all things crazy, she had to be a witch. Of the spell-casting, broom-flying nature. And in a world where Sam depended on logic, he was at a complete loss.

 

A witch.

 

He turned the car down Rankin, absently admiring the structuralism of the homes while his mind raced. “First Lisa,” he murmured, barely even aware that he was speaking. “The estranged fiancé that left you because honest politicians make her uneasy. Then Laurie, the one-nighter that you really liked before she turned out to be a call-girl. Not that you don’t like her anymore, but her profession is questionable and she refuses to let you help her. And Mallory, your boss’s daughter, whom you told about said call-girl the day after.” A sigh hissed through his teeth. “And now a witch. A very cute, rambly…but a witch! And a nearly underage witch, at that.” He pulled to a stop at a red light and released another deep breath. “Well…at least it can’t get any worse.”

 

The perpetual black that shrouded the road was interspersed only with selective streetlights and the sheen of oncoming cars. While it wasn’t necessarily foggy, the head index plus the storm seemed to do the trick enough. That plus Sam wasn’t exactly at his best—thus when he nearly ran into a girl that appeared from nowhere, he felt as though the last screw holding him together had been snatched away. He slammed on the breaks and lurched forward out of instinct, his body crashing against the horn for several stunned seconds before he realized that it likely wasn’t the best idea to wake up the entire neighborhood. His heart pounded. His pulse raced. His ears hummed. His fingers were wound so tightly around the steering wheel that he doubted a crowbar could pry him away.

 

“Oh God,” he said, unaware that he was speaking. “Oh God. Oh God. Oh God.”

 

The woman he had nearly plowed over hadn’t moved. Hadn’t flinched. Hadn’t batted an eye. She looked at him—nearly catatonic—her eyes burning his as though she had been expecting him. Her hair was crazy and unkempt; her skin marred with dirt, scraps, bruises. And her gaze burned him. Devoured him and spat him back out. In the midst of the chaotic confusion that racked his brain, the knowledge that he had to get out and make sure she was all right, Sam found himself paralyzed with the strangest sense of foreboding.

 

It was a strange moment that occurred between realities. One often never recognized that his life was about to change forever the minute before it happened. But Sam did. Nothing out of pride or assumption—just knowledge. Basic knowledge. He looked into her eyes of nothingness and knew.

 

And perhaps that was what did him in. What sealed it for him. In a flash, the woman was gone and at his passenger side door. He had little time for reaction; the smash of glass hit the air and shards of broken window scattered across the front seat. The man squealed and pressed himself as far to the other side as possible. His heart was pounding so ferociously he thought it would be a miracle if it didn’t break his chest completely. The woman lunged herself inward without a flinch, feet first so that her land was oddly graceful. All the world for a ballet.

 

The next thing he knew, something sharp was pressed against his throat. Sam gagged and tightened his grip on the steering wheel; anchoring himself with desperate futility.

 

Oh God.

 

He was going to die.

 

“I didn’t mean to almost run you over,” he whimpered, squeezing his eyes shut. “I’m really sorry about that.”

 

Her reply was nothing but a cold silence. Then a word. Only one. “Drive.”

 

Drive. Sure. He could do that.

 

“O-okay. I…I owe you a ride, a-at the very least.” Easier said than done; his foot was glued to the brake pedal. It took a few seconds for his senses to convince his body that he wasn’t dead yet and if he wanted that to remain the verdict for at least another sixty years, it would be better for him to do as he was asked. “Where do you want—”

 

“Motel 6. Room one-nineteen.”

 

Sam nodded urgently, having no earthly idea where the Motel 6 was. “Y-yes. I’ll drive you. I’ll—”

 

“Now!”

 

How he ever found it, he didn’t know. Logic told him that most motels would be on the outskirts of town, so he picked a random direction and went with it. He was usually very considerate of traffic laws but likely broke every restriction outlined in every patrol manual, both here and internationally. The car came to a violent stop outside the woman’s given room, and only after he had killed the engine did she remove the sliver of window glass from his jugular.

 

His heart was pounding to the point of pain.

 

“Get out.”

 

Sam swallowed hard. “Ummm…I believe I’ll be on my way. I can give you my business card if you need anyth—”

 

“Out!”

 

“Okay.”

 

The cold slap of rainwater greeted his face as he bolted from the vehicle. He was panting hard and trembling beyond the realm of control. The woman exited the car in the same manner in which she had entered. Her eyes danced over him for a brief minute, sizing him up in a manner that was borderline appreciative.

 

Sam shuddered again and tried to keep his teeth from chattering.

 

And then he saw something that wasn’t by any means possible. A human fist punched through the hood of a car as though it was made of paper. She didn’t flinch or scream; her eyes closed briefly but that seemed to be all she needed to ease herself. When she withdrew her hand, she was cut and bleeding but didn’t react. Her eyes were made of stone.

 

“We just h-had that fixed,” he said, simply because there was nothing else to say.

 

She looked at him. He shut his mouth.

 

Then she was right in front of him. Her gaze burned his with the power of a supernova. There was nothing she would say that he would contest. This woman meant business: it didn’t matter what kind.

 

“Follow me.”

 

“Inside?”

 

Something sharp pressed against his abdomen. “Inside.”

 

He had the sinking feeling that if he went in, he would never come out. However, since she was making it pretty damn clear that if he denied her now he was dead anyway, he thought it better to nod and go along with it.

 

The room was illuminated with the soft glow of motel lamps that the maid had undoubtedly provided in the hours of absence. The woman removed her jacket and tossed it onto one of the twin beds, flexing a shoulder in a manner that was more human than any characteristic he had seen thus far.

 

Something was wrong. Beyond what he knew was wrong.

 

“I…ummm…I hope this doesn’t sound forward or…but did something happen to you?”

 

Her back was still to him, and she spoke in spite of his expectation of being ignored. “Ran here. I didn’t have anywhere else…I was just running. And I got here. Had to get here. Now I have to get out. I have to get out. And now it won’t let me leave.” She glanced almost wistfully at the ceiling, temper flaring without suggestion. “I can’t fucking leave!”

 

“Oh.” Sam frowned. “Who won’t let you leave?”

 

But that seemed to be the end of pleasantries. She turned to face him again, eyes blazing. “Take off your clothes.”

 

“W-wh-what?”

 

“Your clothes. Lose them.”

 

“I…uhhh. I don’t think…yes, they are wet, but I don’t need—”

 

“Well I do need.” She began walking toward him, eyes blazing dangerously. “I’ve been needing for the last two weeks. Hell, if you count the big sleep before that, damn near coming to a year. And I’ve been trapped in this fucking motel room for days. Going out of my mind. Can’t leave. He won’t let me. Girl gets kinda frustrated, if you follow.” Her hand was on his shoulder; his body was frozen. “Got to go out tonight. No danger tonight. Guess I have the big Q to thank for that. Takin’ care of his little problem so he can deal with mine. Great. I get that. Now take off your clothes.”

 

Sam shook his head, trying to back up but not making it very far. “L-look, I-I think you’re con-confused and probably…despite what some people like to believe, I’m not the sort of man that just goes around a-and sleeps with…I don’t…I’m not accustomed to…well, I did sleep with a call-girl once, but that was by accident. You’re not a call-girl, are you? Not that there’s anything wrong with that…well there is, seeing as it’s illegal and dangerous and I don’t think this is a good idea and you’re unfastening my pants.”

 

“Wow. Score one for Special Ed.” Then her hand was inside his trousers, grasping him with force that was far from intimacy. She didn’t want intimacy; that much was clear. She wanted a walking-dildo, and he had won first prize. “Only we have to get your little man to join the party.”

 

Sam whimpered. “He doesn’t like strangers.”

 

“We’ll have to fix that, won’t we?” She yanked his belt from the loops the next minute and cracked it against her thigh. His eyes went wide. “Get comfy, honey. You’re not going anywhere until I’m finished.”

 

“That…didn’t hurt?”

 

She shook her head, walking back to him with intent. “I don’t feel pain. Not anymore.” She cracked the belt again, whipping it around his wrists before pulling him into her. And Sam felt everything. His pants were around his knees, his shirt was torn and his skin was burning. He felt everything.

 

She pushed him onto the bed before throwing her own clothing in every which direction.

 

Sam gulped again when he noted she obviously wasn’t going to take the needed precautions. He was far-placed from ordinary; while his body was rejecting any potential arousal for the namesake of fear, something told him that was of little circumstance. “Do you do this often?”

 

“Haven’t had a ride since Xander, if you call that a ride.”

 

His eyes widened, but he bit his tongue before he could repeat the name.

 

“I don’t know who you are,” he whispered as she tore away all vestiges of clothing below the beltline. He was bare and exposed and had never felt so out of control. The innate strangeness of this alongside its perversion and tied in with everything else was doing its best to convince his brain that he was dreaming a very sick dream. It wasn’t working. “I don’t know your name or…or anything. I don’t—”

 

“And you’re not gonna know my name,” she replied, casting herself astride his ankles. “My name is not important. Neither is yours. You think I give a fuck who you are?” She glanced to his flaccid penis and licked her lips. “You’re in luck, Sparky. Don’t do this often. But I guess I gotta if we wanna get you goin’, right?”

 

Sam closed his eyes. This was not happening. This could not be happening.

 

A hand grasped his cock and let him know just how real it was. And he sank into a dark tunnel, clawing for light while no one soothed him with answer. He was alone.

 

“Let me go,” he whimpered as her mouth closed around him. There was nothing after that. His insides wrenched and his eyes filled with tears.

 

But she said nothing.

 

Just took.

 

*~*~*

 

St. Francisville was situated just outside the Mississippi Stateline in Louisiana, nestled comfortably away from metropolitan influence while still enjoying a respectful influx of seasonal tourism. The air was even more confined than Natchez, the borders smaller in size. But that didn’t matter—it was homey and clean. Small but seemingly family-oriented.

 

Granted, they didn’t get far into the town. The Toyota veered suddenly to the right just within the city-limits, and the Winnebago after it.

 

Not onto a road—a plantation. A home called the Myrtles.

 

Which made absolutely no sense.

 

“What the hell is she playing at?”

 

Spike’s brows perked, slowing down obligatorily as the wheels hit gravel. The home evidently enjoyed more tourism than any of the places they had seen in Natchez—the grounds were filled with people, the parking areas nearly completely occupied. “I don’ know, kitten. Only met the chit once, an’ I don’ think I was seein’ her at her best. Well…” He drew out a breath and glanced at her wickedly. “Unless you count the skin she was wearin’.”

 

Buffy rolled her eyes, ignoring the way her face flushed at the compliment. “Very funny.”

 

“You’re sure it’s her?” It was the first time he had questioned her judgment since her gripping command before they had begun this wild goose chase. Not that he doubted her; there was nothing like a Slayer on a mission. He just knew the difference between believing something because it was true and believing something because he wanted to believe it.

 

“I’m sure.”

 

Spike nodded. That was all he needed to hear. “Then hop out,” he said. “We got ourselves a Slayer to catch.”

 

They started with the grounds, which seemed logical. The Myrtles was easily larger than any of the houses they had seen—not so much in structure as in means of acreage. There was a restaurant on the premises, a pond and a gazebo. The gift shop was in the back alongside the courtyard. The property was surrounded by a number of trees; its appearance, all except the cars and the definite hum of passing traffic, made its origin more authentic.

 

“’S ‘cause the houses in Natchez are townhouses. This ‘s an authentic plantation,” Spike explained when she commented on it.

 

Buffy frowned. “How do you know that?”

 

“Well, other than bein’ old as sin, a bloke asked at Dunleith yesterday.” He tsked and shook his head in a manner that was supposed to be condescending. “’F you’d actually been payin’ attention, luv, you’d know the answer, too.”

 

“Oh, bite me.”

 

The vampire’s eyes widened and flashed a devious grin. “Well,” he murmured, voice tickling her ear. She jumped slightly, not realizing how quickly he had neared. He was directly behind her; his presence as comforting as it was intimidating. “Not here. But I’ll show you my goodies ‘f you show me yours when we get back, savvy?”

 

She flushed and cleared her throat before moving ahead in hurried steps. “Yeah,” she retorted as cynically as she could muster. “’Cause that’s happening.”

 

“Watch it, sweets. You’ll get a bloke’s hopes up.”

 

“Well, that would be your fault.”

 

“So says you, you minxy cocktease.”

 

Buffy gaped and whirled around, eyes flashing. “Why you—”

 

Spike held a finger to his lips, indicating that they were attracting an audience. Not much for stealth-mode. “Come on,” he said after the color flushing her cheeks began to pale again. “Let’s find this Slayer of yours.”

 

“Probably gone now,” she pouted, but followed nonetheless.

 

“An’ whose fault would that be?”

 

“I believe I’m looking at him.”

 

The vampire grinned and shook his head. “Toyota’s still in the lot, pet,” he said. “’F she’s here, she’s here.”

 

Buffy sighed and took a detailed look at their surroundings with some resignation. “I don’t…” She paused, and her insides flushed with cold. As though a piece of her had been robbed. And then there was nothing. Just nothing. And she was dumbed into submission. A sudden burst of knowledge to blankness. She had never felt anything like it before. It left her barren—frozen from the inside out. “It’s strange…” she said, a little dazed. “I don’t…I’m not sure I feel her…now.”

 

“Well, there’s a bit of good news.”

 

“It just.” An exasperated sound hissed through her teeth. Comfort gone. Now nothing. “It just…God, I can’t—”

 

An arm tightened around her middle, and she found herself reigned into a protective, soothing side before she could protest. “Calm down, pet,” he murmured gently. “You felt somethin’. You felt somethin’, an’ it brought us here.”

 

“But it’s…” She didn’t know how to explain it. How could she explain it? With a little over an hour, an entire belief had been established and destroyed. Quick. A hit-and-run. “I knew it. And now it’s just gone. I—”

 

“Buffy, ‘f you knew somethin’ that strongly, there has to be a reason.” His hands dropped from her sides, one worming into hers so that they were connected with platonic intimacy. A flurry of butterflies swarmed her stomach. “’F somethin’ brought us here, we’ll figure out why. Okay?”

 

Since when did Spike become her comforter? Not that she was complaining or anything. His presence was more than consoling. More so than any man before him.

 

He was taking a lot of those trophies for himself.

 

“So, what do we do?” she asked, voice nearly husky.

 

“’m thinkin’ we check out the grounds. See ‘f anything’s amiss. ‘F there’s nothin’, we’ll take the tour an’ get a peep on the inside. Right?”

 

She blinked. “The tour?”

 

He nodded. “Mystery tour. ‘F nothin’ else, it’ll be worth a laugh.”

 

Buffy still wasn’t following. What the hell was he talking about?

 

“Well, come on, Slayer. Somethin’ brought us here. ‘F it wasn’ Faith, an’ ‘f we find it wasn’ the grounds, the smart thing would be to take the tour an’ figure out what in God’s name we’re doin’ here.” He neared. “Toyota’s still parked. Our guide’s not goin’ anywhere.”

 

The Slayer licked her lips, unconsciously drawing his attention to her mouth. “It’s a mystery tour?”

 

“Heard one of the guests talkin’ about it.”

 

“When?”

 

He grinned. “’Bout two minutes ago. Vampire hearin’, luv. Wasn’ exactly eavesdroppin’—jus’ worked out that way.”

 

“You wanna take the mystery tour.”

 

A snicker. “Like you don’t.”

 

“Not really, no.”

 

“You’re not curious?”

 

“About what?”

 

Spike rolled his eyes. “Well, for one thing—an’ please tell me ‘f I’m repeatin’ myself—what the bleedin’ hell we’re doin’ here. Secondly, what makes these sodding tourist traps certifiable hauntings.” When her expression remained skeptical, he sighed and bounced a little on his heel. “Come on! Donna has a yen for these places. It’ll tickle her fancy to have the up close an’ personal scoop.”

 

“Assuming you did your job right, they’ll be gone before we get back. And why are you wanting to impress Donna all of a sudden?”

 

The vampire didn’t miss the note of envy in her voice. A deaf man would hear it. He ran his tongue over his teeth and grinned. “Jealous, luv?”

 

Buffy flushed but refused to appease him. “Dream on.”

 

“Think I got an’ itch for the delectable Ms. Moss, do you?”

 

She shouldn’t; having seen what she had seen, there should be no doubt of his regard for her. However, with his eyes dancing and the honest sense of admiration in his tone, she could not help but feel a stab of righteousness. It was unwanted, unprecedented, but real nonetheless.

 

“If you do,” she replied at last, “it’s hardly any of my business.”

 

“Somebody is jealous,” he singsonged, determined for a confession.

 

“You wish.”

 

Spike smiled. “Yeh, but we’re not talkin’ about me, are we?” He utilized her stupor to brush past her, tugging at her and in gentle reminder that they were connected. “Come on. They’re sellin’ tickets in the gift-shop.”

 

“And I’m supposed to pay for your dork-like infatuation with these places?”

 

“Oi! Watch it!”

 

“Call it like I see it. And are we just skipping the grounds and doing the tour?”

 

“No. We’re jus’ definitely doin’ the tour.”

 

Buffy released an exasperated sigh and pouted. “Why?”

 

“’Cause you called me a dork. This way, kitten.”

 

It wouldn’t end there. The South and all things that had celebrated centennials seemed to bring out a childish glee in Spike that she couldn’t help but find endearing. In the gift-shop, he ogled over the makeshift voodoo dolls and flipped through the ghost books, sniffed at incense and commented on how lovely the very expensive necklace under the counter would look on his traveling companion. The tickets for the mystery tour were a tad pricier than the daytime historic tour, and to her great surprise, the vampire refused to let her fork over the cash. Not that being a college student gave her much cash; being an impotent bloodsucker wasn’t exactly a profitable business, either.

 

Buffy knew she wouldn’t like it if she knew where the money had come from, thus decided not to ask. It was infinitely better to perpetuate her ignorance. As long as she didn’t see him steal, she could pretend it was actually his. Of course, knowing Spike, there was the possibility it was. The guy had been around forever. There was every chance that he had learned to invest.

 

That was the thing with Spike. He was an enigma. And he was always surprising her.

 

When he learned that spirits were often captured through photography, he insisted on purchasing a throwaway camera. He was having much too much fun with this.

 

Thing was—he was helping her as well.

 

“You know this is all bogus, right?”

 

Spike turned to smile at her from where he was surveying the pond and gazebo. “Come on, pet,” he teased. “Don’ tell me you’re a nonbeliever. Happen to know for a fact that you’ve run into your share of ghosties.”

 

“Yeah. In the real world. This is a tourist attraction for a reason.”

 

“Bloody hell, Slayer, learn to live a li’l.” He tossed her the camera and struck a pensive pose.

 

That would be something to tell the others. Why Spike was standing by a random pond, creating a classic thinking-man pretense. But she laughed anyway, and his eyes sparkled at the sound.

 

An elderly woman stopped them on the way back to the house and asked if they would operate the camera for her and her husband so that they could pose together. After minimal persuasion, Spike convinced Buffy to join him as the couple returned the favor.

 

It was strange. That did not escape her. She knew it was strange. Standing next to Spike with their arms linked was strange. Even with everything that had occurred, it was still so strange. Their fights lately had been more flirty than fighty. Being here together was giving her serious couplehood wiggins. She didn’t know what the vampire’s thoughts on the subject were, but he seemed happy. He seemed happy, and he was never happy.

 

She was scared to death of what they were doing. Of what she knew. The hand that clasped hers had recently been used to seek his pleasure while thinking of her. And while she had stopped trying to convince herself that she didn’t want him, there were certain things that she couldn’t yet grasp. Wanting Spike was one thing; having him was something entirely different. And for the way her mind was currently set, it likely wasn’t the best idea to send him welcoming signals that would do more damage than good.

 

She was playing with his heart without knowing what her own wanted. And yet when the lady handed the camera back to her companion and commented that they were the happiest couple she had seen, her heart swelled even as her face flushed. Spike smiled and nodded his thanks, murmuring something that she didn’t quite catch.

 

Then it was time to go in. And as they crossed the threshold, Spike’s hand darted down to grasp hers, a hiss whistling through his teeth. The side-windows were paneled with crosses, and while they didn’t bother him to any great extreme, he winced and squeezed her hand all the same.

 

The tour itself was a laugh: slightly entertaining but mostly ridiculous. It was noted that the house itself was built on an ancient tunica Indian burial ground, thus explaining the vast number of disturbances. Such was ironic, of course, because much of the design was structured to keep bad spirits away—the crosses, upside-down key holes in doors, angels looking down on the four corners of each room to ward evil off. When it came time to take a picture of the mirror that was said to house the spirits of Judge Clark Woodruff’s wife and two children, Spike couldn’t get the camera to work and spent the next ten minutes banging it against every piece of furniture he found until the tour guide snapped at him.

 

Buffy supposed this was interesting to anyone who entertained the idea of ghosts as a passing whimsy. However, evil spirits and demons were her profession, so she spent the bulk of the hour rolling her eyes and scowling at her companion when he stepped on her toe or nudged her hard to keep her from speaking up.

 

And through it all, there was nothing. No sign of what they were supposed to do here. No Faith. No indication of purpose. Nothing. Nothing but a colossal waste of time.

 

When they got back to Natchez, Buffy was going to crawl in bed and sleep away the rest of the week.

 

Evidently, by the time the group had moved to the old part of the house—back through the entry hall, the dining room, and into the ladies’ parlor—Spike had likewise lost his interest and took instead to pestering her like an insolent child. He tugged on her ears when it was noted that one of the favorite tricks of the residential ghosts was to steal women’s earrings. The guide mentioned that many guests complained about some spirit of childlike stature pulling on skirts or trousers, as though trying to get their attention. Spike replicated this as best he could without getting smacked. And when it was pointed out that furniture had a habit of moving on its own, he nonchalantly kicked over the nearest chair before appearing enchanted in one of the paintings on the wall as the other guests started sprouting a series of ridiculous theories.

 

It was a miracle that they weren’t asked to leave.

 

The tour concluded in the study with a passing of pictures that had captured images of spirits on the grounds. And the guide once again extended the invitation to snap a photo of the mirror in the entry hall to anyone who hadn’t had the chance earlier.

 

With Buffy’s fervent protests, Spike grabbed her wrist and dragged her back. He waited until the bed and breakfast guests had retreated either upstairs or to one of the outer rooms before flashing a pert grin.

 

“Wanna pose?”

 

“For crying out loud, stop wasting time and let’s go.”

 

“’F I din’t know better, I’d say someone’s spooked.”

 

“Spike, you don’t know better. I’m tired. We wasted three hours and gas getting up here. Let’s just go back.”

 

He shook his head, aiming the camera at the mirror. “Hester said it has to flash, right?”

 

“Yes. So that the large purple spot can look like a ghost. Can we leave now?”

 

“Swear, Slayer, that bug up your ass must be suffocatin’. Why don’ you kill it an’ put it out of it’s misery?”

 

She scowled. “There is nothing wrong with my ass!”

 

At that, Spike cocked a brow and leaned back, giving the appropriated area a long, hard glance before grinning his consent. “You’re tellin’ me.”

 

“For Chrissake, take the picture!”

 

He made a face of her, but did as he was told. And as the flash went off, so did the lights.

 

In the whole house.

 

There was a long pause; Buffy’s breath lingered in the air as her eyes went wide.

 

“Oh God.”

 

“Yeh, that was some flash.”

 

“Spike? Where are you?”

 

Something cool and familiar grasped her hand and tugged her to a comforting side. “Right here,” he murmured into her ear. “Don’ get nervous, kitten.”

 

“Nervous?”

 

“Yeh. ‘Cause there’s every possibility that I jus’ bollixed us up.”

 

She wouldn’t put it past him. “How?”

 

“I don’ know ‘f our guide noticed we were goin’ back.”

 

Buffy swallowed. Hard. “Huh? That doesn’t…why would you think she—”

 

The next thing she knew, she was being dragged to the nearest window, her eyes catching the rear of the Toyota as it made its way up the drive and disappeared.

 

Oh shit.

 

“Oh, I dunno,” Spike retorted. “Lucky guess.”

Chapter Fifteen

 

 

It was with much reluctance that Buffy agreed to wait until morning rather than tear down the door of an eighteenth century landmark, though she claimed that without reconstruction it wouldn’t matter much. Plus, a loud crashing noise in what was supposed to be one of America’s Top Thirteen Most Haunted Houses likely wouldn’t help to improve the temperament of the guests upstairs, unless they had come here specifically for a fright.

 

She likewise didn’t want to move out of the foyer and into the darker part of the house. Spike teased her for a few seconds until she offered to throw him against the plated cross-patterned glass, which he said she didn’t have the stones to do but quieted all the same.

 

Once upon a time she would have had no qualms in demonstrating how very little she cared for the platinum vampire. Once upon a time not too long ago. Just a few short weeks had passed since the disastrous Will Be Done spell; she and Spike had been macking on each other like time knew no end, confessing love and planning wedding services.

 

She remembered feeling disgust after the spell was over. Wiping her mouth and glancing down at the vampire in horror. The emptiness that seared her insides as her love dissipated and the harsher reality stepped in. What they had been playing at was impossible, of course. It wasn’t real. There was no sense in missing something that hadn’t been there in the first place.

 

What they had now, though; that was real.

 

It was so real.

 

And now she was stuck with him all night. After what she had seen; the image of him in the shower was never far from hindsight. He wanted her. And she really wanted him.

 

The only thing standing in the way was pride. Pride and ethics. Pride because she was who she was—ethics because it was so damn hard to remember that he was a vampire. Vampires weren’t supposed to act like he did. They weren’t supposed to care, for God’s sakes. And they certainly weren’t supposed to want the Slayer.

 

This was a creature that had killed for over a century without remorse. There was no okay in that.

 

When did one line of ethics cancel another out?

 

She was trembling with the overwhelming weight of practicality, and Spike watched her with quiet concern. “’S all right, luv,” he said soothingly after a few minutes. “Calm down. Sit. Be merry.”

 

“Easy for you to say.”

 

The vampire sighed and leaned back again. “Don’ see why you’re so skittish. ‘S not like we can do anythin’.”

 

He must have interpreted her erratic pacing as a sign of annoyance, which was easier to go with as it did not require embarrassing confessionals. “This is your fault, you know.”

 

“Yeh. Tell me ‘f this sounds familiar. ‘Spike. Drive. Now.’”

 

Buffy rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest. “Right. Tell me if this sounds familiar.” She huffed and adapted the worst feigned accent to ever touch the air. “‘Let’s take the bloody tour, luv. ‘S’a bunch’ve jolly good fun.’”

 

Spike grinned in spite of himself. “You know you sound ridiculous, right? An’ I never say ‘jolly good.’”

 

“You got us stuck in an old, creepy house until tomorrow morning.” She pouted and stomped her foot petulantly. “I’m hungry!”

 

“Welcome to my world, kitten.”

 

“You’re used to it.”

 

“Oh, so it must be a bloody load of fun for me.”

 

She shook her head. “No. It just means I don’t care as much.”

 

The vampire flashed a cheeky grin and reached for her hand; not relenting until she accepted his tacit offer and curled up beside him. Ethics be damned. Spike=comfy. “Blokes’ll likely be in ‘round five or six,” he murmured, mouth against her ear. “We’ll run out an’ make a pit stop so you don’ starve. Nice big brekky for my Slayer tomorrow.”

 

Buffy’s world was coming closer to falling apart at the hinges. “Not your Slayer,” she argued without conviction even as she allowed him to slide an arm around her shoulders.

 

Then she froze. In the iron dark of an old Southern home, Spike nuzzled her hair with delicate tenderness, the hint of his cold breath sending shivers down her back. He felt so good. Just being held felt good. As if she was precious and he was her keeper. There was certain safety in the measure of his arms. And she treasured it. “Yes you are,” he murmured.

 

“Spike…”

 

“Always been my Slayer, luv.”

 

Buffy blinked at him. She was becoming steadily unglued. The sincerity in his voice and the power of his conviction was enough to rightly do anyone in. She released a shuddering breath and looked away when it became too much, licking her lips and rustling slightly as if daring her body to make Spike’s presence uncomfortable.

 

She was diving headfirst into a drained cement pool and relying that faith would pull her through without harm. There had to be a guideline on how to behave around him. A warning that would push her Slayer sense into victory.

 

She was losing herself too fast. Much too fast. And she couldn’t stop.

 

“So, you think this is real or jus’ bollocks?”

 

Buffy started and sent him a worried look. “What?”

 

“The house. Doesn’ seem too ghostly to me.”

 

Oh.

 

“Oh.” She expelled a deep breath and shook her head. “No. It all seems pretty ridiculous, really. Ghosts and whatnot. I mean, I’ve seen ghosts. I’ve even been semi-possessed once. This doesn’t really do much for me on the creep-factor.”

 

“Yeh,” Spike agreed, absently playing with the wisps of her hair. The touch was intimate and more than disconcerting, but it felt too good to stop. “’Ave yet to meet a spook. Dru used to think she could channel ‘em. Half the time it was the bloody radio.”

 

She arched a brow. “And the rest of the time?”

 

“Once she got Gerald Ford. Bloke’s not dead yet.”

 

A grin spread across her face. “Maybe she was just on to something.”

 

“Doubtful, pet.” Spike smiled warmly and settled back.

 

It occurred to her directly out of the very dense blue that this was all real. She was actually sitting in the dark of an antebellum and allegedly haunted home with a former enemy-turned-friend-turned-crush with his arm around her, virtually snuggling in the shadows of an abandoned foyer. And it was wrong. She knew it was wrong; she knew she should get up and clarify their position once and for all. State why some things could never change.

 

It just wasn’t in her. She wanted those things to change. She liked the feel of him against her—warm and comforting. Giving what they had a name was dangerous territory. It just helped in making it more real. But even so, Buffy was coming to the slow realization that she was approaching an unavoidable inevitability. And for everything there was in her, she simply couldn’t care to stop it. There would be problems, of course, but nothing too great to not make it worthwhile. To make it worth them. Worth this.

 

Her head was just inches from finding his shoulder.

 

“’S this bad?” Spike asked softly, breaking into her thoughts as though he had been observing them.

 

“Is what bad?”

 

“Bein’ here.” His eyes darted down almost bashfully. “I know that ‘s inconvenient an’ what all, an’ that we were…well, wrong—”

 

“I was wrong. You were following.” She paused. “Granted, the tour idea—”

 

“We did it together, kitten. Still say somethin’ brought us here for a reason.” He cleared his throat. “But ‘s not…bein’ here with me…’s not horrible, is it?”

 

He looked flustered, even nervous. So completely apprehensive in his turn that it warmed her heart. Little by little, he was letting her into the far recesses of what made him human more than monster. What made him tick. And that was what she craved.

 

What she was beginning to need.

 

“It’s not bad,” she said, edging closer.

 

“No?”

 

“This is going to sound beyond lame.” Buffy smiled reassuringly, both for his sake and hers. “But…it’s getting harder for me to remember that you’re—well—you.”

 

Spike domed a brow. “Should I be offended?”

 

“Well, you’re a vampire.” She ignored his incredulous stare even as her cheeks flushed at her obviousness. “And you’ve tried to kill me a bunch of times.”

 

At that, she caught a hint of shame flood his eyes just seconds before he banished it. Such a strange thing to see him betray, demon or not. “I can’t say anythin’ to that,” he replied. “Only that I…things have happened to me, Buffy. I don’ know what. Can’t say I’m sorry, ‘cause I wasn’. Not then, an’ I’m not apologizin’ for what I am. I was made this way.”

 

“I know.”

 

“The others…’ve killed others. But that’s jus’ what I’m s’posed to do.”

 

“Yeah.” The Slayer glanced down again. Her own thoughts were becoming examples of their own willful ignorance. “But it’s wrong, Spike.”

 

“To you ‘s wrong. To me, ‘s food. An’ I’m sorry, but that’s the way it works.” Off her look, he sighed and looked away. “Okay. How’s this. Lions an’ zebras are both mammals, right? Same genus, different race. Lions need to eat zebras to survive. ‘S what there is—what they were made for. Demons aren’t a mistake, luv, an’ neither are you. ‘S the battle for it all that makes this world keep spinnin’. Vamps are nasty bastards, I’ll grant you, but…” He exhaled again slowly, finding her gaze and holding. “Whatever it was, ‘s over for me now. Something’s changed. Been changin’ for…God, I don’ even know anymore. But Buffy…I would never hurt you. You know that, right?”

 

The Slayer paused, breath catching in her throat. It was such a quiet revelation, but one that she had stopped questioning longer than she could have realized. Spike wouldn’t hurt her. Not now. When he looked at her now, it was with care, admiration, and an urge to protect. In such a short amount of time, he had exceeded all expectations for any man that had played a significant role in her life.

 

“This is so strange,” she murmured.

 

“Buffy?”

 

A long sigh escaped her lips and she nodded when the look in his eyes flickered with doubt. “You would never hurt me.”

 

“Never,” he swore ardently.

 

“I know.” She smiled at his smile, daring to edge even closer. “But it’s…it’s strange.”

 

“Yeh.” Spike released a deep breath. “Happened fast.”

 

“Yeah.”

 

There was a brief pause. “’S more than that,” the vampire said, and she could tell simply from his tenor that he was choosing his words carefully. “An’ I know ‘s not jus’ me.” She trembled at the conviction behind his gaze, body humming with self-conscious. “There’s somethin’ else happenin’ between us.”

 

For all the dancing around that revelation they had been doing for the past few days, hearing it given shape in the form of words was almost anticlimactic. Almost but not quite. Her heart dropped in her chest and her skin seared with heat. “I…uhhh…” She glanced down. “Spike…that’s not…what I mean is, we can’t—”

 

“Why can’t we?”

 

Buffy wet her lips and edged an inch away out of obligation. “We can’t,” she repeated. “It’s…I know what you’re…but we can’t.”

 

“Right. Slayer, vamp. Don’ feed me rot, luv. ‘m not some lackey. You know who I am.” He tugged her back to him, scowling as though to berate her disobedience. “But ‘s there. You’re not denyin’ that it’s there.”

 

“I—”

 

“Buffy.”

 

There came a point in every rational conversation where lying to oneself just didn’t seem fair anymore. What was this other than what she had been tormenting her inner conscious over since the night at the Bronze? Nothing. Masking herself from something so blatantly manifest was not helping anyone. “It’s there.”

 

Spike’s eyes softened. “Well, that’s somethin’.”

 

“But I can’t. We can’t.” She tore her gaze away from his, hugging her knees and staring insistently on a spot in the worn carpet. “I…despite how things have changed…I can’t.”

 

An irritated rumble surged through the vampire, and he sat up to be level with her. “Did it ever occur to you that’s ‘s not exactly somethin’ for me to be singin’ about, either? I din’t want this to happen. Fuck, all I wanted was to be left alone. An’ yeh, I might’ve carried a yen after the spell was over. Bloody impossible not to.” He smiled dryly when she tentatively looked at him with curiosity that could not be denied. “But ‘s more than that to me now. An’ to you, too.”

 

There was nothing inherently demanding buried within his words, but the hint of agonized longing stuffed tightly beneath layers of self-defense tugged on her heart. “What I feel…it doesn’t matter, Spike. It’s just…it’s wrong.”

 

And there it was. A sting of pain as she had never seen before. His head reeled as though she had slapped him, his eyes searing with angered hurt. “Oh, ‘s wrong, is it?” he snapped. “But it was jus’ dandy to watch me wank off an’ pretend that never happened?”

 

The floor beneath her ceased to exist. “Gu-huh?”

 

He leered at her unpleasantly. “You’re not as stealthy as you think you are, sweetheart. Plus you left your scent waftin’ right outside the bloody loo, so don’ even pretend that you were jus’ happenin’ by.” There was another beat. He tilted his head in consideration. “An’ I’ll tell you somethin’ else: you smell heavenly when you’re excited. Sodding aphrodisiac. Gets a bloke all riled up.”

 

“Oh God.”

 

“Y’know, you could’ve jus’ joined me. Gotten rid of both our itches right quick.”

 

She jumped up in a frenzy, too embarrassed to look him in the eye; too ashamed to allow another word to pass. Of what—her indiscretion, her refusal; a world of possibilities waiting at her feet. “Oh God. Oh God.”

 

“Interestin’ to know the Slayer’s virtue doesn’ flutter until she’s caught with her hand in the cookie jar.”

 

“My hand wasn’t anywhere.”

 

He quirked a brow and flashed a nasty smirk. “Well now,” he drawled. “There’s an image to keep me company on lonely nights.”

 

“Shut up!” She was pacing now; up and down the carpet, her gaze avoiding him and her body trembling with the weight of furthered anxiety. “Oh God. Oh God.”

 

“Yeh. Keep doin’ that. It’ll make it go away.”

 

“Shut up!” she snapped again as her fingers came up to massage her temples. “I didn’t mean to. It just…it happened. But that…” Buffy’s hands fell to her sides the next minute. “You’re a vampire.”

 

“Thought we had that much covered, pet.”

 

“I have to remember that, Spike. Bad things happen when I let vampires in.” She shook her head, voice trembling. There was a beat at that; she knew she had said something to make him catch his proverbial breath. “I’m not…I can’t do this again. It’s wrong. It was wrong the first time, and I knew it. I knew it but did I care? No. No caring from Buffy. And people died. I didn’t care and people died.”

 

Silence settled in—slow molasses encasing them in an endless vat of nothing. “Buffy…”

 

“People died,” she repeated, back still to him. “People died because of me. Because I didn’t care. Jenny…Giles lost Jenny. Angel killed God-knows-how-many because I couldn’t…and it was because of me. Because I thought that I could tame a vampire because he had a soul. And even after he came back…God, how stupid can I be?”

 

“Buffy—”

 

“People don’t matter to you, though. Just food. Just—”

 

“Buffy, stop.” He was behind her in a second, whirling her around so that she was sucked again into the endless ocean of his eyes. The sneer that had been there just seconds ago was gone. The mock, the bitter sarcasm, the everything. There was nothing but empathy. Empathy from a vampire. From Spike. It made her head spin. “’m not Peaches, luv. I’m not him.”

 

“I know.”

 

“An’ you know that I would never hurt you.”

 

Buffy licked her lips, looking away when it became too much. “Not intentionally.”

 

“Not ever, pet. Not anymore. Somethin’s happened to me. Bloody bollixed everything up, but it’s real. An’ I—”

 

“It’s not your hurting me that I’m worried about.” She met his eyes again reluctantly, pulling away when his grip on her loosened. “You…you’re pretty much you. All the time. You can’t get any worse.”

 

There was a dry snort at that. “Thanks.”

 

“No, I mean—”

 

“No soul to lose, right. I got that much.” Spike sighed and cast a hand through his hair. “I have no soul. You don’ think I know what that means? For a sodding century, I’ve had everythin’ handed to me. What wasn’ handed, I took. That’s the way I lived. I can’t do anythin’ about that. ‘S over. A part of my past. ‘S how I was taught. It was what I’m s’posed to do. This—” He gestured erratically between them. “—isn’t. . I’m everythin’ you’re s’posed to hate? Well, pet, that’s a two-way street. I’m through with that now. This is everythin’ I’m s’posed to hate. Was never one for conformity.”

 

Buffy shook her head. “I can’t.”

 

“You don’ think I know that you’d be hurt ‘f I hurt others, luv? You don’ think I knew exactly what I was sayin’ when I told you that? I’ve been around forever. I don’ fuck with you like that.” He released a steady breath when she stopped struggling and just slacked, looking at him with quieted calm. “’m not sorry for anythin’ I’ve done. I can’t be. Don’ have that networkin’. But I do know what I’m capable of. I don’ want to hurt you. I won’t.” He reached for her chin, catching it before he fell again. “You’ve broken me.”

 

“I didn’t mean to.”

 

“I know.” A gentle smile crossed his face. “I was angry for a while, but that din’t do rot. Neither of us meant for this. It jus’ happened.” Another beat past; he was close. So close. “An’ I wouldn’t change that for anythin’.”

 

Then he was kissing her. His lips moving over hers with such delicacy, such tenderness that she doubted her own tangibility. It took less than two seconds to decide what to do; her arms went around his neck and her mouth ravaged at his. The bubbling non-form of everything that had been agonizing her for days erupted with a vicious cry, and there was nothing else. Nothing but Spike. The taste of cigarettes and the scent of leather fogging her senses. His arms around her, holding her body to his as his tongue explored her mouth, fighting hers—seeking, needing that something else. She didn’t realize that they had moved until she felt him hit the wall beside the piano. Didn’t matter. She couldn’t stop kissing him.

 

They slid slowly to the ground, entangled in each other. Her legs abound his waist and her nails dug into his forearms, her pelvis undulating against the hardness pressed against her. Needing that friction. Every strangled gasp that escaped his throat played harmoniously to her ears. His fingers tunneled through her hair, his throat humming small pleasurable murmurs with every taste he stole. He drank her in as though he was dying of thirst. His hands took route all over her body. Holding her arms, massaging her hips, rubbing her shoulders. With every touch of his lips, every sweep of his tongue, she sampled that much more of what she had been missing. Since the end of the spell, since the beginning of something she was still too small to comprehend. This—whatever it was—was larger than both of them combined. To fight it was a fool’s prerogative.

 

“God,” he rasped, breaking from her mouth to explore her throat with his lips and tongue. “God. I want you so much.”

 

“Uhhh…” Her teeth found his earlobe and nibbled softly. She pressed herself against his erection and squeezed his shoulders with wordless encouragement.

 

Spike released a throaty moan, throwing his head back as his hands battled with the hem of her shirt. “Buffy…”

 

The move initiated the sound of the first warning bell. Too fast.

 

Her body, though, refused to listen. Instead she found his mouth again, wrestling away greedy kisses as their hips moved together with strained sensuality. The feelings he elicited were unlike any she had ever experienced. An emotional overdrive ready to burst.

 

No more running. Whatever this was, they could not go back.

 

They could not go back, but there was every possibility of moving forward too fast. And as his hands cupped her laced breasts and began exciting her nipples through the thin material, a light shone through hazy fog and she forced her mouth from his body.

 

She had to stop now before they ruined everything with urgency.

 

“Spike—”

 

“God, Buffy,” he murmured, voice half-dazed. “Never felt anythin’ like this. Never—”

 

“Spike, I need—”

 

“Know what you need, baby. Gonna take such good care of you.”

 

“Time, Spike. I need time.”

 

It happened immediately—the loss of his touch. The cold fall as his mouth drew from her skin and his hands fell to her thighs. Buffy drew in a breath and held, meeting his eyes with misplaced trepidation.

 

He looked at her with a different sort of knowledge. The heat behind his gaze burned her thoroughly, and amidst notable disappointment there was consideration; understanding that she would never have credited him with. An acknowledgement of their time.

 

“Time,” he rasped, voice rough with the edge of his arousal. “You need time.”

 

She nodded. “Y-yes. It’s just…I want this—”

 

“God, I do, too.”

 

“But I need time.” A shuddering breath coursed through her system and she glanced down with shades of apology. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have—”

 

“Bollocks.” Spike smiled kindly. She loved that smile on him. The one he reserved for her; the one he gave her now when he thought no one else was looking. “We’re worth waitin’ for.”

 

He said it with such conviction, there was nothing to do but believe. With wherever this was leading them, it was larger than either could have foreseen; that much was manifest simply within the power of their connection. Of what they had shared without crossing boundaries that others would recognize.

 

It was better to approach emotional revolutions with babysteps. She had lost so much by being foolish. By following her heart. She didn’t want to lose this, too.

 

“You should rest,” Spike observed, helping her off his lap as she assumed the seat beside him once more. “It’ll be mornin’ soon.”

 

Buffy snickered dryly. “You think they heard us?” she asked, indicating the upper floor with a jerk of her head.

 

“Prob’ly jus’ thought it was spooks,” he replied with an indifferent shrug. “Guess I could stomp up to the…the seventeenth step an’ clinch it.”

 

“Was it the seventeenth?”

 

“Bugger ‘f I know or care. You need to rest, sweets.”

 

She stifled a yawn. Where said yawn had come from, she didn’t know. Perhaps the vampire had a more pronounced power of suggestion. “I’m not sleepy.”

 

He chuckled. “Yes you are.”

 

“Spike?”

 

“Mmmm?”

 

“If Faith didn’t bring us here, what did?”

 

She felt him go still against her even as his hand gently encouraged her head to fall onto his shoulder. “Dunno,” he replied after a minute. “But it was somethin’.”

 

“Yeah.”

 

Something. Something that they had yet to find. That thought didn’t rest well with her. But there was nothing to do. Nothing she could do if she didn’t know what she was looking for.

 

Just nothing.

 

Nothing but wait for morning.

 

*~*~*

 

The pit of her stomach fell and the rest of her lurched with instantaneous forewarning. Every nerve in her body hummed and her heart was pounding so loud that she didn’t know if her body could withstand it. Such was not an unusual occurrence upon awakening, though. She experienced it often. More often than she cared to consider.

 

There were certain indisputable truths drawn between regular dreams and prophetic dreams. That was merely one of them.

 

Buffy blinked and sat up, her eyes falling to Spike, who was curled up beside her. Every muscle in her body ached from resting on a hardwood floor. She would probably have that crick in her neck until she was fifty.

 

But that wasn’t important right now.

 

“Spike.”

 

He murmured slightly and his grip around her tightened. It was then she realized that his arms were nestled around her waist, and smile rose to her lips. It hardly surprised her; she never really was one for sleeping while sitting up. His arms were around her waist and his head was resting comfortably on her belly. And while her previous conviction of the much-needed time rang true, she felt utterly cared for in ways she could not have fathomed.

 

But that hardly distracted her from the cause of her awakening.

 

“Spike.”

 

“Mmpppffff.”

 

“Spike!” She whacked him lightly upside the head. “Wake up!”

 

That did the trick. A sleepy murmur rumbled through his throat and his eyes blinked open. It took a second, but he eventually found her gaze and offered a sexy morning smile that stole the breath from her lips. “’Lo, pet.”

 

He was more distraction than any woman needed. “We’re on something.”

 

“You’re tellin’ me.”

 

“No. I mean…there’s something under the floor.” She sat up at that, wiggling away from his embrace.

 

“Huh’s that?”

 

Her fingers were already prying at the floorboards. “Slayer dream,” she murmured.

 

Spike didn’t do anything. Just sat and looked at her dumbly. “Uhhh, luv?”

 

“You were the one saying we’re here for a reason. Well, Slayer dreams tend to point to reasons.” The first plank came up without much resistance and she was rewarded with a face-full of sawdust. “Help me,” she coughed.

 

“When I said ‘reason’, I was meanin’ a more—”

 

“Spike!”

 

“Right.”

 

Slayer strength in addition to a vampire’s assistance made a virtually impossible task executed in a few quick minutes. The sky was still dark but dots of light were beginning to spread over the horizon, leaking through the cross-paned glass and into the foyer as minutes wore on. It didn’t make the endless darkness of the virtual hole they were digging any easier to penetrate, which was why—at times like these—it was handy to have a vampire convenient. With three floorboards removed and nothing but blackness staring back at her, she turned to her companion and smiled sweetly.

 

Spike sighed. “You’re off your nutter, you know that?”

 

“Just look.”

 

“Gonna get sued for property destruction.”

 

“We are not. And since when do you care, Mr. How-Many-Times-Can-I-Run-Into-The-Sunnydale-Sign?”

 

“That’s different. ‘S the Hellmouth. This place—”

 

“Is a tourist trap that they renovate every three months anyway.”

 

He sulked a bit. “Do not.”

 

“Spike! Just look!”

 

He released another sigh as though it was some horrible chore, but smothered a smile all the same and did as she requested.

 

“Anything?”

 

“Could you get a tighter grip on your horses? I jus’—whass’at?”

 

Buffy’s heart rate doubled. “Spike?”

 

“Gotta tell you, luv. You’re good.”

 

“I know. What do you see?”

 

“A very big rat.”

 

The Slayer’s face dropped. She was going to kill him. “I swear to God—”

 

“Sittin’ on a very old book.”

 

Her words stopped in her throat and her eyes widened. “A book?”

 

“Yeh.” There was a brief pause and a rustle; Spike emerged from the dark a few seconds later, blowing on a dusty cover. “I’ll give you this,” he said, taking in the look in her eyes. “When you decide to gamble, you hit the jackpot.”

 

“What is it?”

 

“A book.”

 

Her eyes narrowed. “Spike—”

 

“Hidden under a haunted house that was built on an ancient tunica burial ground?” He perked a brow. “As Poltergeist as it sounds, kitten, this place was here firs’. Reckon this might be worth a look-see. ‘Sides…” He offered a gentle smile. “Slayer’s intuition’s never wrong.”

 

Buffy nodded slowly, licking her lips. “We gotta get this to Giles,” she decided. “Now.”

 

 

 

 

Chapter Sixteen

 

 

The first hour passed without incident. While Sam very definitely was one to keep his cool even in the most extenuating circumstances, he did have a habit of sulking away from others when his temper wasn’t at its best. Thus, the irritability of both Josh and Toby combined with the stress embedded naturally in such helpless situations was immediately placed at the fault of his disappearance.

 

Besides, he had an inherent interest in history. Now that their time in Natchez was running out and he had the means to do so, he was likely enjoying the roundabout tour and ingesting everything he could.

 

“Here’s what I don’t understand,” Josh said, peering over Donna’s shoulder before she thwapped him away. “We were only going to be gone for four days, and yet you manage to pack your entire wardrobe in two very small suitcases and a handbag.”

 

“Feminine ingenuity,” she replied with a shrug. “It’s hardly my entire wardrobe. Besides, a girl can never be too careful. I might’ve met Mr. Right, become an heiress, and left you.”

 

“You would never.”

 

“Leave you?”

 

“Become an heiress. You don’t have that kind of luck.”

 

“You’re a mean man. You know this, right?”

 

“Besides, as insane as they may be, I’m pretty sure our housemates are not republicans or your ex-boyfriend, and therefore wouldn’t hold your interest.” Josh sighed and ignored her affronted look, sliding a piece of paper from the nightstand with interest. “What’s this?”

 

“Message from Leo.”

 

“When did you get this?”

 

“He called your cell when you were outside not-fixing the car.” She shrugged, folding another t-shirt and returning his favor of willful disregard.

 

“And you were planning on telling me…?”

 

She looked up. “Josh, Leo called. He wants you to look into a thing when you get back.”

 

“Sometimes there is just no good reason not to fire you.”

 

“I hope you remember saying that when I leave you to become an heiress.”

 

“Never gonna happen.”

 

“Why not?”

 

Josh quirked a brow. “Because I say so. Why can’t you tell me when people call?”

 

“You can’t do anything about it now. He just wanted you to know that it would be a thing.” Donna shrugged. “I didn’t want you to start complaining about something until the absolute minute that you needed to.”

 

He scowled and held out the message. “Why would I complain about this?”

 

“Because I know you, and you will.”

 

“It just happens to be a bad assignment.”

 

“And hence the complaining.”

 

“I’m not complaining. I’m making a very valid observation.” Josh sighed and turned his eyes back to the sheet. “I swear, I get handed 197, stuck in Hicksville USA, and now Leo wants me to—”

 

“Well, when you get through not-complaining, I’ll be downstairs trying to become an heiress.”

 

He smiled dryly. “By means that are almost positively self-depreciating.”

 

“I’m going to leave you, you know.”

 

“Yes, and become an heiress.”

 

“There happen to be three very eligible British men staying in this house.” Donna quirked her head as he shot her a mildly amused look. “I’ll have you know that Wesley finds me very charming.”

 

“Great. You’ve charmed a ringleader in the freak show brigade. I’d be impressed, too.”

 

Her face fell. “Leaving you.”

 

“Never happen,” he replied loudly, eyes scanning the message once more as the door shut determinedly behind her.

 

But that had been the first hour. Just the first. The next few ticked by sluggishly with no result. And when Giles came inside inquiring after Buffy and Spike’s whereabouts, Donna began to panic.

 

A lot.

 

Donna was panicking, and it took everything that Josh and Toby had from refraining to express their similar concern. It was not in Sam’s nature to randomly disappear for hours on end. He was likely the only male on the President’s senior staff that did not presently nor previously make a habit of going out for the purpose of getting drunk. And while his fascination with history was fervent, it was very unlike him to stay out as late as it was in a strange town with nothing but local interest to keep him occupied.

 

Something was wrong.

 

“We should go look,” Donna insisted. “We need to go looking for him. Mr. Giles has a Winnebago—”

 

“Buffy and Spike have the Winnebago,” Xander said softly.

 

“And no one bothered to ask them where they were going?” Josh demanded, pacing the room. Both parties had decided tacitly to confer in the parlor of the main house, as it was the only place large enough to accommodate them. “You just handed them the keys and—”

 

“They’re trying to find Faith,” Anya replied.

 

“Well, you’ve been trying for three days now,” Toby snapped. “I’m thinking the girl doesn’t wanna be found.”

 

“All the more reason to find her,” Giles retorted, removing his glasses. “But that is not the point. Buffy and Spike’s absence is conspicuous at best, but hardly timely.”

 

“Conspicuous, yeh,” Josh snorted.

 

“You really don’t wanna go there,” Xander advised. “Really.”

 

“I don’t think I need any directions on where I do and don’t wanna go, thank you.”

 

Donna sighed. “Josh…”

 

Willow had remained silent for the entirety of the impromptu gathering, her eyes glued to the carpet. When it became apparent, however, that they were headed into an all-out screaming match, she knew that staying silent was no longer an option and cleared her throat for the floor. “I can’t speak for Buffy and Spike,” she said, flushing at the feel of everyone’s eyes on her. “Buffy’s been acting really strange lately…and she does have a habit of disappearing for hours at a time because of…well…stuff. But I…I think Sam’s gone because of me.”

 

That revelation effectively stunned the room.

 

“Because of you?” Josh repeated, brows arched.

 

Donna wasn’t so fast to brush the notion off. She neared the redhead tentatively, eyes filling with compassion. “Why would Sam leave because of you, Willow?”

 

“Yes,” Toby mumbled from his position against the wall. “Please follow that through with logic.”

 

Xander and Giles shot her identical looks of warning, but she ignored them. “Sam…he walked in…I was in the kitchen and he walked in…we…” She licked her lips and swallowed hard. “There were words. I think I upset him. He saw something he wasn’t ready to see.”

 

Josh perked a brow. “You do understand that Sam’s boyish innocence doesn’t mean he’s never been with a woman before, right?”

 

Donna scowled at him. Willow’s flush deepened.

 

“I wasn’t suggesting that he…that’s not what I’m saying.”

 

“Thank God,” Toby said.

 

“Sam wouldn’t run off like this because of anything you did,” Josh said. “And if you think he’s the kind of guy that would, well, that just proves that you don’t know him all that well.”

 

Wesley frowned, speaking up for the first time when he spotted an open window. “Willow was not implying anything of the sort.”

 

“Well, yes she was. And even if she wasn’t, I’m a politician. Trust me, I have the art of saying things while meaning another down pat.”

 

“Where would Buffy and Spike go?” Donna asked.

 

Xander shrugged. “Normal hits, I guess. The cemeteries, the—”

 

“The what?” Toby retorted, eyes wide.

 

“Oh God.”

 

Josh stepped forward. “The cemeteries?”

 

“Faith hunts in cemeteries,” Anya said, unblinking.

 

The Scoobies stopped unanimously and just looked at her.

 

“Is Faith a person or a dog?” the Communications Director asked.

 

There was a pause. “Well…” Xander replied, shrugging. “I can see why one would make that assumption.”

 

“We can’t just sit here,” Donna said. “We have to find Sam.”

 

“How?” Josh snapped. “We have no wheels, it’s storming, and we’re in a strange town. How do you wanna do it, ‘cause I’m open to suggestions here.”

 

There was another pause. The Scoobies stopped and glanced at the Witch.

 

“Willow…” Giles said after a moment. “Perhaps in light of the current circumstances, you would like to—”

 

She had jumped to her feet the next minute, nodding her accord. “Yes. Yes.” She turned to the others, nodding still even if they had no idea what she was agreeing to. “I’ll go now and…do that. But my stuff—”

 

“Just do what you can.”

 

“Going.”

 

“Where exactly is she going?” Josh asked after the redhead’s footsteps could no longer be heard on the floor above them.

 

“She’s going to try to help.”

 

Toby shifted a little, balancing his weight from one leg to the other. “By doing what, exactly?”

 

Giles met his gaze and held. “Helping.”

 

And that was it. No more discussion on the matter. Just waiting.

 

*~*~*

 

No one had really invested much confidence in Willow’s ability to solve their problem as fluently as her friends had been hoping. And when that inexorably fell through, they were once again at a loss as to a plausible course of action. It was more than frightening—it was just strange. And they were at an irrefutable standstill.

 

Much later that night when everyone had consigned there was nothing to do until morning and agreed to try to sleep, Josh and Donna were up and talking, keeping constant watch out the window and looking at their cells every few minutes. “Maybe someone recognized him and is going to hold the President ransom,” the blonde said worriedly. “Oh God, Josh. We should call Leo and let him know. We should—”

 

“I don’t think so.”

 

“Why not?”

 

“Sam’s not as noticeable as some others.” He paused, then nodded as though to convince himself. The look in his eyes verified, however, that he had not ruled out the possibility. “We’ll find him.”

 

“How?”

 

“I don’t know yet. We just will.” Another heavy breath passed through his lips. “You should really get some sleep, Donna.”

 

Easier said than done. Yet she managed, as did Josh. They slept surprisingly hard until around four-thirty in the morning when a desperate but soft knock sounded at the door.

 

Then they were up, and sleep was out of the question.

 

It was Josh who opened the door—it was Donna who ran forward.

 

“Oh my God! Sam! Oh my God.”

 

She had never seen him look worse. His hair was a mess, his body aligned with sores and scrapes. He was dressed in nothing but jeans and sneakers, and his skin was damp with rainwater. More over, his entire body was trembling, and not just with the cold. He started a bit at the shrill in her voice, but looked at her with such relief that it inspired tears to her eyes almost immediately.

 

“Hey.”

 

“God, Sam.” Josh took him by the arm and guided him inside. “What the hell happened?”

 

“I’m gonna make you some coffee,” the blonde said, unable to stop from shaking. “You want some coffee?”

 

The Deputy Chief of Staff glanced up at her wearily, but he smiled anyway. “Donna, it’s four-thirty in the morning.”

 

“Yeah. I’m gonna go make coffee.”

 

“No, it’s okay.” Sam held up a hand and offered her a worn but thankful smile. “I don’t need coffee.”

 

Donna didn’t look convinced but nodded all the same and moved back to the bed. “Are you okay?”

 

“Of course he’s not okay!” Josh yelped. “Look at him!”

 

Sam flinched a bit. The other man immediately quieted. “Are you okay?”

 

Donna rolled her eyes and stood. “Do you want to tell us what happened?”

 

“It’s…I…” He glanced down, still trembling. “I don’t know where to start.”

 

“It’s okay.” The blonde patted his knee encouragingly but backed off when he flinched again. “How about what happened after you left with the car for the test-drive?”

 

“Willow.” He blinked. “Is Willow okay?”

 

Josh and Donna exchanged a look over his head. “Why would Willow not be okay?” the latter asked.

 

“I saw her in the kitchen and…I was wrong. There’s no doubt about that, I was wrong.” He stood abruptly. “I have to go apologize now.”

 

“Sam—”

 

“I was wrong and I need to tell her. I need—”

 

“Sam!” Josh flashed an apologetic look when he flinched again. “Sit down. Willow’s fine. She’s worried about you, but she’s fine. Now…did she have anything to do with what happened tonight?”

 

“No.”

 

“Okay. Start at the beginning.”

 

The Deputy Communications Director paused, his expression torn. Then he released a sigh and nodded, taking one of Josh’s shirts when it was offered. “This…it happened fast. The car is gone.”

 

“It’s gone?”

 

“Ruined. She…she punched through the hood. I didn’t see her take anything out, but I couldn’t get the car to start. I couldn’t…I tried. I tried and I—”

 

The blonde held up a hand. “It’s okay. We don’t care about the car.”

 

“She punched right through the hood?” Josh was staring at him dumbly. “How could anyone punch through the hood of a—”

 

“Josh.”

 

“Yeah, so she punched through the hood?”

 

Sam smiled wearily. “And then she forced me inside.”

 

His friends exchanged another look. They didn’t like where this was going.

 

And as he spilled everything that happened after the fact, words left the room for means of human expression. They were there for him, but didn’t know what to say.

 

There was simply nothing to say.

 

*~*~*

 

Unsurprisingly, none of the Senior Staffers got any sleep that night. After Sam was through relating what had happened to Josh and Donna, they went to Toby and rehashed everything. Toby, in turn, started on a wild tangent about male rape and how no one took it seriously—how it was a joke saved for prison humor—and immediately called the police once he was done ranting.

 

The cops called back a half hour later. The room indicated in the report was vacant. The bed linens were stripped and in the wash, according to room service. Furthermore, registration didn’t have marked that anyone was staying on the first floor until the week after next. Even the car was gone. They were advised not to phone in false accusations, as they were a police station and had no time with practical jokes.

 

That sent Toby on a whole new warpath. “This is Mayberry!” he shouted into the phone. “What, did Billy Bob’s cow go missing at daybreak? We have a real crime, here!”

 

Needless to say, yelling at the authorities didn’t get them far.

 

Donna stayed with Sam, mothering him horribly and fuming with outrage that someone could get away with something so vicious.

 

By the time the sun was peeking over the horizon, she wanted blood.

 

“You don’t want to go downstairs to breakfast, do you?” she asked. “I’ll go and bring something up for you.”

 

“No. It’s fine.” He smiled. While he was hardly feeling his best, the reassurance that came simply by having friends that cared did wonders. Josh and Toby were reacting in a way that only Josh and Toby could—outraged, knee-deep in compassion but too much like themselves to allow that much to be revealed on a surface level. “I need to…you know…be around people right now.”

 

“Really? Because there’s no shame in hiding.”

 

“And yet, here I go.” Sam stopped at the doorway and smiled at her. “You’ve been great, Donna. You’re always great. I don’t know what I would do if you weren’t here.”

 

It was a typical thing of him to say, but it made her flush all the same. “I don’t understand how someone could do that,” she whispered. “How she could just…take you and make you…I don’t understand.”

 

“She was unbalanced.”

 

“She…Sam, she raped you.”

 

He nodded, shaken but composed. He was ages ahead of where he had been when he came to them just a few short hours before. “I know,” he said. “But it’s…I’m okay. I’ll be okay.”

 

“Are you sure?”

 

“No, but work with me.” A worn smile crossed his face and he nodded at the door. “Let’s go eat.”

 

“I can really bring it up to you.”

 

“I know. Let’s go.”

 

Josh and Toby met them in the hallway. They had evidently moved from indignation to complaining about being stuck here even longer, as they were again without a car. It was their best defense mechanism, and neither Donna nor Sam could blame them from turning to it. It was all they had in such situations.

 

Of course, they couldn’t make it all the way to the dining room without incident. Willow was waiting for them at the stairs; seated about a quarter of the way from the hall with her eyes downcast. She was evidently so immersed in her thoughts that she didn’t hear their approach, and turned to them only after Donna and Sam had called her name twice.

 

It was strange watching such potent relief flood the eyes of a virtual stranger, but she was up in seconds, very visibly restraining herself from hugging him. “Oh, thank God,” she said. “I…we were so worried!”

 

“I’m sorry about yesterday,” Sam blurted.

 

“Why is it that you spend more of your time apologizing to her for frivolous things than you do actually talking to her?” Toby asked pointedly.

 

“Leave him alone,” Donna berated.

 

Willow wasn’t paying attention to any of them. Her eyes were soaking up the picture that Sam presented, frowning her concern when she realized the depth of what must have occurred the night before was more serious than they were putting on. “My God, you look awful.”

 

“Thanks,” he replied, smiling weakly.

 

“Are Buffy and Spike back yet?” Donna asked.

 

The redhead shook her head. “No, and believe me, I’ll be wigging soon. But Buffy…well, she’s with Spike and I think that means it’s okay.”

 

“What’s this?” Sam asked.

 

“We’re going to breakfast,” Josh said as he and Toby wheedled through them and continued on downstairs. “Sam?”

 

“Yeah, I’m okay. What’s this with Buffy and Spike?”

 

“They disappeared last night, too,” Donna explained. “Right around the time that you did.”

 

The man’s eyes went wide. “And you’re not worried?”

 

“Oh, I am. Massive wiggins all around.” Willow sighed. “You don’t know them. Buffy is…well, she’s not the most reliable person in the world. And Spike? Spike and reliability are like polar opposites. And seeing as they’re together…I’m thinking they either hit a hot trail or…I dunno.”

 

Donna shrugged. “Maybe they eloped.”

 

“No way.”

 

“It’d be romantic.”

 

The redhead frowned. Three weeks ago, had anyone suggested that, she would have laughed them out of the room. Now she wasn’t so sure. It was hard to miss the sparks that had been flying between the blonde duo ever since the disastrous encounter with Faith during the body-swap fiasco. Buffy was behaving very unBuffy-like. She laughed more, she hung out with Spike virtually all the time, and now they had disappeared for an entire night.

 

Perhaps elopement was not out of the question.

 

As for the other, Willow couldn’t explain why she wasn’t worried; she just wasn’t. Oh, she had her concerns here and there, but something told her that they were fine. They were just out, being themselves. Whatever that meant anymore.

 

Another look at Sam verified the exact opposite. Something had happened to him last night. Something awful. And while she would never pry for such personal information from a stranger, she was already gearing up ways to extract powerful and painful revenge on whoever was responsible. It didn’t take a long acquaintance to recognize that he was easily one of the sweetest men in the world. He made her feel things she hadn’t felt—and she had felt a lot.

 

Someone had hurt him, and if she ever found out whom, she would hurt them back.

 

She just hoped that someone wasn’t herself.

 

Chapter Seventeen

 

 

It wasn’t as though they weren’t expecting a loud, obnoxious entrance from the up-until-recently absentee Slayer and platinum vampire, but the crashing at the front of the house made everyone jump nonetheless. The smell of burning leather wafted into the dining room but was extinguished within seconds, and the laughter pouring from the entry hall could only be identified as Buffy. They were talking loudly, chuckling over something, and completely ignored the foray of stares that were shot point-blank in their direction as they strolled into the dining room.

 

For everything, it was as though they hadn’t realized they had an audience.

 

“All I’m saying is…” The young woman was having a hard time keeping a straight face. “Just because they were staying there didn’t necessarily mean they wanted—”

 

“Oh, come off it. You’re the one who screamed.”

 

“That wasn’t on purpose!”

 

Spike snickered good-naturedly and poured her a glass of orange juice as though such had been customized into everyday routine. “Right. Buffy Summers, Slayer Extraordinaire screams ‘cause she sees a mousy in the corner. Sure thing, luv. ‘m buyin’ that.”

 

“It happened to be a very big rat, thank you.”

 

The Scoobies were staring at them in wonder; the Senior Staffers with a note of indifference, even though Donna was beaming in the most ridiculous ‘I told you so’ manner at Willow.

 

Xander looked as though he wished himself miles away. “We have just entered the Twilight Zone.”

 

Josh smirked. “So, I take it you two had a rough night.”

 

Sam whimpered a bit at that, and immediately earned a quickened apology.

 

That was all it took. Buffy and Spike turned their attention to the others and shrugged on a frighteningly similar beat. “Hey guys,” the former said, reaching for the pancakes. “What’s up?”

 

“How in God’s name are you eatin’ again?”

 

She scowled at the Cockney and defiantly served herself three flapjacks. “I’m hungry.”

 

“We ate not two hours ago!”

 

“At Denny’s. Perish the thought that I might be hungry for actual food after sampling their processed crap.”

 

He sulked a bit. “’S not like it was my firs’ choice either, sweets. It was the only bloody place open.”

 

“Yes, but unlike you, I can actually taste the food.”

 

“I can bloody well taste—”

 

“Ahem.” Giles shot them both a warning look before slowly removing his glasses. “Perhaps you two would kindly like to explain your whereabouts as to last night? In case you didn’t notice, it is morning and you have been conspicuously absent for nearly fifteen hours.”

 

Buffy’s eyes widened. “Oh! We have a book to show you.”

 

“Did you guys elope?” Willow asked bluntly.

 

“Oh God,” Xander moaned. “Forget the Twilight Zone. We have entered a world of such freakishness that it cannot be named.”

 

The Slayer froze. “Elope?”

 

“Well, we did run away to a small town ‘bout an hour an’ a half away from here,” Spike retorted with a smirk. “Don’ think there was a church included.”

 

“Oh God,” Xander moaned.

 

“Oh, quit,” Anya berated. “They didn’t have sex.”

 

The vampire frowned, almost defensively. “How do you bloody well know?”

 

“Because you both still stink of sexual tension. That would be gone now if you had gotten it over with.”

 

That was it. The table erupted. “ANYA!”

 

“At least someone else sees it,” Donna muttered.

 

“Hey, I see it,” Josh whined. “What did I say that first morning?”

 

Spike’s eyes widened and he pointed almost accusingly in Donna’s direction. “Hey! You an’ Curly are no bloody different.”

 

The two froze and stared at him.

 

“An’ what the sodding hell are you still doin’ here? Bloody car’s fixed, innit?”

 

Wesley frowned. “That is a fair point. I would have figured, with as important as your business is, that you would have gone by now.”

 

It was then that Toby cleared his throat, looking at Sam with pensiveness that was both protective older-brotherly and saturated in furthered annoyance that they were stuck here for another a day. “The car was stolen,” he said, poking at his scrambled eggs.

 

“It was what?” Spike shook his head with a laugh. “Well, that’s bloody priceless.”

 

Willow caught his gaze and motioned erratically to drop the subject.

 

“I believe you wanted me to look at a book?” Giles said slowly, as though he was holding onto his very last nerve. “And would you kindly explain where you were last night?”

 

“And if the word ‘elopement’ comes up again, I think I’m going to be sick,” Xander cautioned.

 

Anya shook her head and patted his hand in reassurance. “I told you, sweetie. They did not copulate last night.” She turned to Sam. “He, on the other hand—”

 

Josh and Toby jumped up at the same moment.

 

Buffy and Xander turned to the redhead. “Willow!”

 

“You little she-devil,” Harris murmured appraisingly.

 

The Witch’s face flamed and she looked anywhere but Sam, who was fidgeting uncomfortably.

 

Spike perked a brow and shook his head. “Uhhh…’less my sense of—ow!” He covered the transgression with a cough and shot the Slayer a nasty glare. “It wasn’ Red.”

 

“That’s enough,” Toby all but growled.

 

Sam exchanged another long glance with the redhead, who was close to turning maroon. “Ummm…” He pushed his chair away from the table and slowly rose to his feet. “If…if you’ll excuse me, I’ll just be…upstairs.”

 

“I offered to bring you breakfast,” Donna muttered pitifully.

 

“I know. It’s okay.”

 

The platinum vampire emitted a long whistle and shook his head. “No worries, Red,” he said. “Bloke’s a politician. Has trouble enough keepin’ his pants up.”

 

“Okay, that’s it,” Josh snapped before turning to Toby. “Bad cop, bad cop.”

 

“Guys, he doesn’t know,” Donna said softly. “Don’t get all—”

 

Buffy placed a hand on Spike’s shoulder. He turned to her the next second, features softening with shades of unspoken acknowledgment. It was a silent but effective trade; he pivoted to Seaborn almost immediately and nodded his apology before settling back in silence.

 

There was an uncomfortable few minutes as everyone resituated. The sort of silence that spoke volumes for everything they were unwilling to approach. A swarm of free-flowing hostility that remained muted.

 

When things had sufficiently calmed, the elder Watcher drew in a breath and tried once again. “The book?”

 

The text was forfeited immediately. Giles examined the cover, frowned, and set it aside with a tacit nod.

 

“Yeah, and speaking of that…again.” Xander nodded his accord. “You two were all with the mysterious not-being here. What’s up with that?” He turned to Donna quickly. “And no mention of elopement.”

 

Josh arched a brow. “Why do you care?”

 

“’S fair question, mate.”

 

“I don’t believe he was talking to you,” Toby snapped.

 

“Guys.” Sam held up both hands. “It’s fine. Really.”

 

It was one thing to say that—it was another thing to mean it. And while the Deputy Communications Director very palpably meant to mean it, the look in his eyes was far-placed from complacency. And yet, he nodded to Giles all the same. For what it was worth, he had made his peace with it.

 

“Spike and I were going to go patrolling last night,” Buffy began. “And—”

 

“Crazy kids and your crazy jargon,” Josh muttered.

 

“I believe the lady was talkin’, Curly,” Spike snapped, sending a mock-glare to Toby, who smiled his irritation in turn. “An’ this happens to be important.”

 

“Right. A bunch of kids looking for a person named Faith that appears to not exist for reasons that were never established and outside the preface of actually going to the police.” The Deputy Chief of Staff nodded as though extremely pleased with himself. “I’m sure that’s important.”

 

Sam swallowed hard and traded a glance with Willow. There was knowledge there. Fuzzy knowledge at best, but knowledge nonetheless. “Josh…”

 

“We were patrolling,” Buffy continued. “Or we were about to…and I thought I…” She licked her lips and shot a look in Spike’s direction, receiving nothing but a nod of encouragement in turn. “I thought I saw Faith…get into a car and drive off.”

 

The Scoobies were silent for a long minute.

 

“You thought you saw Faith…” Xander said slowly. “And you…what? Decided to follow her? Without knowing if it was really her? Without letting us know? You disappeared all night with a va—ow!” He flinched and flashed the Witch an apologetic glance. “With a very bad…guy?”

 

Josh cocked a brow. Anya crossed her arms and sank a little in her seat. “Smooth.”

 

“Well, I didn’t have a lot of time to amend.”

 

“Amend? Amend what?”

 

The Slayer took initiative at that while making a mental note that these discussions were likely not best had in front of people in which such evasive language was required. From the look on her Watcher’s face, he agreed and then some and was more than regretting bringing the subject up at all. “I thought I saw Faith, Xan. Didn’t have a lot of time for forethought. She would’ve gotten away. And I was positive.”

 

“So…”

 

“Only by the time we stopped I was no longer positive and we were in some town in Louisiana.”

 

“St. Francisville,” Spike provided.

 

Donna’s eyes lit up. “Hey! That place is mentioned in one of my books! It’s the one that has—”

 

Toby sent her a look. She quieted.

 

The vampire nodded with a small smile. “Knew you’d appreciate it, pet.”

 

“Did you guys get to go there?”

 

“The Myrtles?” Buffy sighed. “That’s where we stayed. We got there and Spike just had to take the tour…”

 

“Figured why not make a wasted trip at leas’ somewhat eventful,” he explained defensively with a shrug. Then he grinned and cast his impromptu traveling companion a coy look. “Turned out to be that an’ then some.”

 

“What?”

 

“We got trapped,” the Slayer blurted ineloquently. “We were going back for a picture and they didn’t notice, so we got trapped…inside the haunted house for the night. And we didn’t want to…you know…mess it up, so we decided to stay.”

 

“That’s where we found the book.”

 

“I found the book.”

 

“Luv, you—”

 

“You guys stole a book from an old house?” Josh’s eyes were wide. “You just…took it?”

 

Giles sighed. “Why do I even bother?”

 

Buffy shrugged. “Well, you’re the one who had to know right now what happened, and—”

 

“Please just…get on with it.”

 

Spike tossed a defiant look to the Senior Staffers, provided Toby with a two-fingered salute, and tossed caution to the wind. “I was tellin’ the Slayer that we were there for a reason. She was absolutely hell-bent that Faith was in the car ahead of us. When she wasn’, I reckoned we were s’posed to follow the sodding car anyway an’ figure out what was so bloody important in St. Francisville. We took the tour, got trapped, fell asleep, an’ a few hours ago, Buffy had one of her wonky dreams, we found the book, we came back. End of discussion.”

 

There was a long, uncomfortable pause.

 

“Well,” Wesley said with some authority. “We now know the difference between saying too little and saying too much.”

 

“What the hell?” Josh demanded.

 

“This is the reason you don’ talk ‘round people who aren’t us,” the vampire growled. “Bloody Watchers. You’d think after ten minutes of pure ambiguity, that’d be a lesson learned.”

 

Buffy bit her lip, not daring herself to look up. It was one thing to edge into a situation; it was another to dive in headfirst without testing the waters. “Before we left, Spike yelled, ‘The blood! The blood!’” she said. “And the people upstairs started screaming.”

 

“So did you.”

 

“I saw a mouse.”

 

“Haven’t you been a—” Xander once again stopped and bit his tongue. “Been around enough mice to not be afraid of them anymore?”

 

“That’s what I’m sayin’, Stay Puft.”

 

“It doesn’t matter how many mice I’m around.”

 

Josh blinked numbly and leaned back. “I’m going to pretend that I wasn’t here for this conversation.”

 

“That would be for the best,” Wesley agreed.

 

Willow expelled a sigh. “I’m sorry. We’re just…it’s complicated.”

 

“We understand complication. We work for the President of the United States.” Toby leveled his gaze at the platinum vampire. “What we heard now wasn’t complication. It was insanity.”

 

Donna shook her head and leapt in before her boss could comment and make things worse. “Maybe, since we’re going to be here longer anyway, we could help you find Faith.”

 

“Donna…”

 

“Maybe the less-snobbish of us could help you find Faith. What does she look like?”

 

“You’re fired,” Josh complained.

 

“Okay. I’ll help you find her and one of you will make me an heiress.”

 

Xander rose to his feet. “Well, she’s a psycho-killer. Yay tall…” He indicated height in accordance with his own. “Answers to…well, Faith. Dark hair. Criminally insane.”

 

“Her personal motto is ‘want, take, have,’” Buffy added.

 

“An’ she doesn’ limit that to jus’ objects,” Spike muttered. “With her, you become the object.”

 

There was a pitiful mewl from the other end of the table. Sam looked like he was about to be sick.

 

“Sam?”

 

Toby stood; Josh leaned forward. Donna was at his side in less than two seconds.

 

“Oh no,” Willow murmured, her face falling as her eyes widened with realization. She had yet to know all the facts, but piecing two and two together was something she had always been exceptionally good at. “Oh my God.”

 

“I…” Sam cleared his throat after composing himself. “I…know where she is. Or where she was…as of last night. She’s not there now. But she was…last night.”

 

“Oh my God,” Donna gasped. “Oh my…”

 

“Is there a reason you haven’t included the cops in this?” Josh demanded, gaze falling on Giles. “I mean, if she’s this psychotic, why wouldn’t you call the cops?”

 

“We’re with an independent organization from Britain,” Wesley said before the elder Watcher could step in. “Faith is our business and we know how to handle her in ways the American authorities do not. If the police were looking for her, she would know, and we would never be able to locate her. Buffy, Willow, Xander, and Anya know her personally, which is why they are here with us.” He tossed a glance to Giles, who nodded in agreement.

 

“You’re with the British government?” Donna asked, eyes wide.

 

“Not entirely—”

 

“This is crazy,” Toby muttered. “Your friend is out there causing all sorts of trouble, and you’re running to small towns that no one has ever heard of while she victimizes innocent people?”

 

Buffy scowled. “I thought she was in the—”

 

“Well, you were obviously wrong, weren’t you?”

 

Giles stood slowly. “Look…we need all the help we can acquire in obtaining Faith peacefully before anyone else gets hurt. She is extremely dangerous, and would not flinch at killing one or all of us.”

 

Sam whimpered again. Donna patted his back encouragingly.

 

“I still say you’re psychos for not calling the cops,” Josh muttered.

 

“We are not above it, but the authorities could not hold her long. They do not know what she is capable of. We do. And forgive me if I do not exactly fancy her in a position where she gets even more agitated while surrounded with firearms.” The elder Watcher shook his head. “We know what we’re doing.”

 

“You think the police—”

 

“She’s strong,” Sam commented, voice deadpan and gaze fixated on his plate. “You don’t know how strong she is. You wouldn’t know it from…but she is.”

 

“If she’s so strong, how do the seven of you even begin to pose a threat?”

 

Giles released a long breath. “Because we’ve dealt with her before.”

 

“Doesn’t really inspire confidence,” Toby remarked. “The girl’s still out there—”

 

“Because we handed her over to the authorities. We will not make the same mistake twice.” There was a long beat; the elder Watcher sighed again and nodded to himself. “In the meantime, I suggest everyone be on high alert. I will be moving my studies to a different location as to actually obtain some privacy without the more notable distractions.”

 

Buffy frowned. “Giles?”

 

“We haven’t gotten a bloody thing accomplished,” he said, turning to her in mid-stride and readily-acknowledged anticipation. “I have decided to relocate to the Eola Hotel, which is not far from here.” His gaze leveled with hers. “This is important.”

 

“I…I know.”

 

“Then you know why I must go. And if this…” He held up the book, “turns out to be anything, I’ll need to focus, which is something none of us have done since we arrived.”

 

There was another pause and the obligatory passing of guilt-laced concession. When he received no objection, the Watcher released a long breath, nodded; calmly exited through the kitchen and back to the townhouse.

 

“We weren’t supposed to understand the part about the book, were we?” Josh whispered to Donna, who shrugged and took a bite of her cold biscuit.

 

“I wasn’t aware that we were supposed to understand any of it,” Toby muttered.

 

“Well, mate,” the vampire retorted, taking a bite of pancake off Buffy’s plate. “That would be your fault, wouldn’t it? Quite frankly, I don’ know where you blokes get the stones to say that we gotta answer to you t’all.”

 

Xander cleared his throat. “Well…umm…they do work for—”

 

“I don’ care ‘f they worked for the King of Bloody England,” Spike snarled. “Have you got any ripe idea how many sodding ‘leaders’ I’ve seen in my time?”

 

“Oh, and your time would be what?” Toby demanded. “Twenty, thirty years? We have a country to run.”

 

“Little higher, you righteous git.”

 

Sam cleared his throat, eyes still downcast but everyone stopped to hear his input. He was closer to this than any could have imagined. “I think we should try to put our differences aside for the time being. While we’re here, especially. Josh…you should call Leo and let him know approximately what has happened since we spoke to him last. Tell him we’re stranded and see if he has a way to get us home…and at the same time, we should try to get as much work as we can done right now. But I agree with Mr. Giles.” He looked up slowly. “This person is dangerous. I…she’s dangerous. And unbalanced. She crashed through the side window of a car and smashed in the hood without blinking. We have a civic—”

 

“Sam—”

 

“—duty. We have a civic duty. This is just what you do.” He glanced down and released a long sigh. “It’s what you do.”

 

The dining room settled with fragile tranquility. Quiet nothing that always coincided with something.

 

“I wanted to go to Longwood today,” Willow said, her eyes glued to her plate. She attracted the attention of everyone in the room, but did not acknowledge it, or even glance up. “It’s supposed to be the largest octagonal house in America.”

 

“I’ll go with you,” Buffy offered.

 

“So will I,” Donna said.

 

“Shouldn’t we be looking for Faith?” Josh asked. Then paused. “I can’t believe I just said that.”

 

“Longwood and that territory is the only place in town that none of us have hit yet.” Willow released a long sigh. “I just…I need to get my mind off things for a while.”

 

“We’ll go with you,” Donna reiterated.

 

The redhead nodded but didn’t say anything else. There was too much to say right now to entrust with words. Thus the room was consumed with silence once more. Cold and overshadowing.

 

And this time, no one attempted to break it.

 

Chapter Eighteen

 

 

Toby decided to move out with Giles, namely because he needed to maintain his sanity and the situation at the Wensel house was making that more and more impossible. He expressed some apprehension—as much as he could—about leaving Sam alone, but was ultimately encouraged that space was what the younger man needed.

 

So, naturally, the minute he was gone, Josh took up residence with his best friend and left Donna to tend to the emotionally numb Willow, who was still trying to come to terms with the knowledge that Faith had taken advantage of someone she cared about. Again.

 

Ultimately, having the Communications Director and the elder Watcher relocate proved to be in everyone’s best interest. Wesley was left in charge of the research, but the Scoobies tacitly noted to turn to the Witch in that regard. And now that Willow had a reliable female roommate, Anya was free to move back in with Xander to obtain as many orgasms as she pleased.

 

No one really seemed to mind that the new arrangement left Buffy alone in the townhouse with Spike. No one outside Xander, who voiced his objections but was drowned out for sudden apathy. Things were too estranged to worry with particulars.

 

Furthermore, Willow didn’t want to be too far from Sam if he needed her. While she didn’t disclose the reason why he would need her, Harris could not meet that with a plausible excuse in favor of the other. He similarly could not bring it to Buffy’s attention that the choice was upon her to either send Spike away or leave him alone in the townhouse. For whatever reason, he knew that suggestion would be shot down with feeble excuses that his range of acceptance was not yet prepared to interpret. It was better to let things lie as they were.

 

In the end, Buffy came up with a solution on her own that made his nerves rest easier. She moved into Giles’s old room because, while smaller, it allotted for the most privacy. And Spike, in turn, moved into the room she had been using. While it did nothing to discourage space between them, Xander was comforted to know that the Slayer’s room had a lock on the door.

 

The excursion to Longwood was brief but the girls were more than happy to have something else to focus on, even if it was just for a little while. It was one of the most visited houses in Natchez—built by Dr. Haller Nutt for his wife, Julia, and their eight children. However, because of the conflict between the States, the home was never completed and Dr. Nutt died before the war was over. The basement was the only portion of the home that actually looked livable: the rest was brick and wood and all things unmanageable. They learned on the tour that Julia Nutt had sued the government after Lee’s surrender in hopes of completing her would-be palace, but never acquired the needed funding to get the job done.

 

Willow was particularly interested in the old tools and various containers that were abandoned by the Northern construction workers. And she took five or six pictures of the piano crate that sat in the unfinished parlor.

 

In the gift shop, Buffy had purchased the diary of Julia Nutt. When Willow looked at her askance—since when did Buffy read?—the Slayer had turned her eyes downward and muttered something about Spike being a dork and liking these places.

 

Another testament to how things that were previously set in stone could change so quickly. The Witch was learning not to question her friend and her bizarre fixation with her former enemy. What was happening between them was almost inevitable. And it was nice to see her happy.

 

Besides, if the two ever decided to go public and attempt at a real relationship, Buffy would need support. And she certainly wouldn’t get it from Giles or Xander.

 

More over, Willow was sick of it. The whole it. She had dated a werewolf and that was acceptable because Oz hadn’t known when he turned into a crazed animal. If he killed, he killed. That was the wolf. And Anya was a former demon turned human. No one had ever handed her a soul to go along with that. In fact, she had tried to get Evil!Vampy!Willow to kill everyone at the Bronze. There was no difference, there. She was still a demon at heart. And Xander was fine with that.

 

So, if Buffy wanted to mack on Spike, considering their collective records when it came to love, she had her best friend’s blessing.

 

Besides, when it came down to it, Spike just wasn’t as scary as Angelus. Angelus was big and nasty and a fish-killer. And something told her that Spike would never kill her fish.

 

Or, more importantly, hurt Buffy. She didn’t know what made her realize that; it was just in his eyes. The way he looked at the Slayer now was all soft and lovey. It was the way Oz used to look at her times a thousand. She had never seen Angel look at Buffy like that. No. Whatever Spike felt, it was more potent than anything her best friend had ever been exposed to.

 

And eventually, Buffy would know it.

 

As for her, Willow was too confused to delve through her own feelings. Donna had reluctantly related just enough information about what had transpired the night before for her to piece together the rest. And she couldn’t believe it. Well, she could because Faith was an evil ho-bag, but there was something seriously wrong with the entire scenario.

 

Something even more so than being used so blatantly for sex. Than being used.

 

Even still, when the redhead saw the other Slayer again, heads were going to roll. If Faith was under orders from God Himself, she did not care. No one deserved to be put through what Sam had been put through.

 

The fact that it was Sam made her even angrier.

 

Right now, everyone was at separate ends. Buffy had immediately retreated to the townhouse following their humdrum search of the last unexplored part of town. From what Willow gathered, her friend had obtained very little sleep the night before, and thus by noon was practically a walking zombie. Which, considering where they were from, wasn’t anything to joke about.

 

The redhead had walked Buffy to the cottage and barely grazed the front porch before Spike threw open the front door, held out his hand to the sleepy Slayer, and shut them inside with nothing more than a quick nod in her direction. As though thanking her for bringing his girl home safely.

 

The notion in itself was ridiculous but sweet at the same time.

 

Willow had returned to the main house where Mrs. Miller handed her a note from Giles. He had barely settled in before calling her so she would come and review certain elements of the book with him and, as a magically inclined individual, offer her expertise. It didn’t surprise her. While the move had seemed like the best idea the minute he proposed it, something told her it would end up doing less good than he was hoping.

 

No, it didn’t surprise her at all.

 

What did surprise her was Sam. The hotel was structured for the less-modest spender and rang of classic charm; she could see why Giles liked it. And at the bar he sat. With Sam.

 

It didn’t take long for either to notice her. The Watcher turned to her after a number of seconds and motioned for her to join them. “Willow,” he greeted. “We might have a problem.”

 

In Giles-lingo, that meant that the world was falling apart at the seams. She tried not to panic.

 

And the best way to not-panic was to focus on the cute brunette to the left.

 

“What…” She blinked and motioned at Sam. “What are you doing here?”

 

“I’m here to help.” He offered a weak smile. “Might as well see if I can be useful.”

 

While she didn’t miss the logic in that, it seemed more than unfair to ask so much of him given that not twenty-four hours had passed since his ordeal. The humanitarian in Willow screamed in protest; a steady cry that wedged up her throat and out her mouth before she could stop herself. “Giles—”

 

Sam held up a hand, foreseeing her objection with a nod of grateful understanding. “I wanted to come,” he explained. “Toby was moving his things over, and I offered to lend a hand. If I have information that can help, I want to share it…regardless of what has happened.”

 

The redhead stared at him in wonder, her shoulders relaxing as the weight of protestation abandoned her. Her gaze fogged with admiration. “Oh…I just…I wanted to, you know…make sure…”

 

The Watcher cleared his throat. “Willow,” he said. “We might want to step aside for a minute. The book that Buffy brought back—”

 

“It’s okay,” the Witch intervened, eyes not breaking from her objective. “Sam knows.”

 

“He knows?”

 

“I know.”

 

“About me. About…he doesn’t know everything, but he knows that I…I can do things.” She licked her lips and finally looked away with a quick breath. “He knows that I’m a witch.”

 

Giles blinked at her dumbly. “Excuse me?”

 

It took less than two seconds to divulge that the older man was less than satisfied with that revelation, and Willow’s tactics changed immediately. She pivoted slightly at the heel and released a short laugh that rang with more than a sting of apprehension. “Yeah.”

 

“I can’t believe you would be so careless as to—”

 

“Hey! It was an accident!…and it’s not like we’ve been all that careful.”

 

Sam shrugged. “She’s got you there.”

 

“I…” The Watcher let out a deep breath. “Do the others know, or do we need to continue speaking in code? Which—I might add—I am having trouble following.”

 

Willow shook her head. “I haven’t told them. Sam found out and that was pretty much it. He doesn’t know the other stuff.”

 

“I haven’t told the others, either.” Sam smiled a bit. “Right now, they’d think I’m crazy. And other stuff?”

 

There was a secretive glance between the Watcher and Witch.

 

“Things you’re not ready to know,” the redhead finally decided. “Especially considering…well, everything.”

 

“Things like how a girl could punch through the hood of a car without flinching?”

 

Willow perked a brow. “A girl? How about anybody, bucko?”

 

Sam’s hands came up in a plea for neutrality, and he nodded his mistake with humble recognition. “I’m sorry. That was rude. But she didn’t…she didn’t look like the type of person who could—”

 

“Does Buffy?”

 

“Pardon?”

 

Giles sighed and removed his glasses. “Willow…”

 

“Does Buffy look like the type of person who could punch through the hood of a car? Does Spike?”

 

The Deputy Communication’s Director’s eyes widened. “Okay. You’re right. There are some things I am not yet ready to know.” He paused thoughtfully and licked his lips. “Perhaps ever. And if I were you, I’d never, ever tell Josh and Toby.”

 

“We weren’t planning on it.”

 

“Willow, the book?” The Watcher expelled another deep breath and flashed her a patented look of irritation when she smiled guiltily and whirled back to him. He had the book on the counter in seconds and gestured to the barstool beside him. “Loathe as I am to admit it, Spike was right. This does merit our attention.”

 

“What is it?”

 

“I am not sure. The writing is sporadic and appears to be patched together through several different languages. Latin, Greek, Assyrian…mostly Assyrian, actually.” He removed his glasses as was the norm and leaned forward to pinpoint a specific passage. “See here. The sentence doesn’t make sense if you conjugate that verb according to the Assyrian rules of—”

 

“Giles.”

 

He paused, then looked at her slowly. “You don’t know Assyrian, do you?”

 

Willow offered a wane smile. “Believe it or not, all the good Assyrian professors transferred over to Notre Dame last semester. What a bummer, huh?”

 

“The President went to Notre Dame,” Sam offered.

 

“Really?”

 

“Willow?”

 

“Right. The book. All ears.” She edged forward in her seat and leaned in to get a better look. “So, language aside, do you know what this is about, or is that what I’m here for?”

 

“Yes and no,” Giles replied. “The book is a text of spells, rituals, and tributes to several of the ancient gods. The problem is with the translation…and the spells. I have reached a point where I no longer understand what is being said, so I thought it best to turn it over to you. Now…” He waited until she peeled her eyes away from the primordial pages and looked at him. “You are not, under any circumstance, to attempt any of the spells you uncover, even if you think it would be beneficial. That book is not to be trusted.”

 

“The book itself is not to be trusted?”

 

“No. I am not convinced that it does not play a greater role in this.” The Watcher let out another heady breath. “It had enough power to drive Buffy out of town to seek it out. And with as much running as she was doing…I do not understand why Faith would have stopped here, of all places.”

 

Willow froze, her eyes widening. If Giles was suggesting what she thought he was suggesting, they were definitely in over their heads. They had raced unprepared across the country to retrieve a rogue Slayer. Should things be more complicated than that, it could lead to trouble in the worst of ways. “Okay. I’ll look over this—not try any spells—and let you know what I think soon, okay?”

 

“Thank you.” The elder man paused a moment as though to collect his thoughts, then turned his eyes to Sam. “Mr. Seaborn?”

 

It took a second, but he snapped back to them quick enough. “Oh. Oh, it’s Sam, Mr…Giles. Just Sam.”

 

“Very well. And it’s just Giles.”

 

“Okay.”

 

“Are you all right with all of this?”

 

He grinned softly. “I made a point to stop listening when you started speaking about things that I’m not ready to grasp yet.”

 

“I envy you in that regard. If that is all, I believe I will be retreating upstairs.”

 

“That’s all. But I don’t think…” Sam paused thoughtfully. “Toby called the motel, though, and she was gone. She has the car, too. Or the car was moved…or something. I don’t know how far that will get you—”

 

“It’s more than enough. And again—”

 

The other man held up a hand. “Please. Don’t. It wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t anyone’s fault.”

 

Willow wet her lips. “Even mine?” That fear had been wracking her brain for the better of the morning. Last night she thought she had driven him off; today she thought that what he had seen had forced him into something that was a thousand times worse. And if that were the case, she would never forgive herself. “You seemed really…zoned after you saw me in the kitchen.”

 

“I was going to go for a test-drive anyway.” His smile turned reassuring, though it was missing the sparkle she had come to cherish over the past couple days. “Trust me. It wasn’t your fault.”

 

Giles was gone in a matter of seconds, leaving them to their own devices. While he would never concede it aloud, Willow suspected that Buffy’s absence the night before had been more trying than he wanted to admit. The Slayer had never been considerate when it came to the impact of her impulsiveness on others. And while Giles had long accepted that Buffy would never change, she couldn’t expect him to stop worrying.

 

Willow trembled a bit and turned her attention to the book. The knowledge that the Watcher was putting a lot of trust in her ability was not lost on her. She had come far in just a couple years; the weight of the obligation was intimidating and more than serious. And of everyone, she was responsible. Responsible for an unholy text recovered from a concealed burial ground and summoned for the purposes of God-knows-what.

 

Great. Just great. No pressure or anything.

 

“Are you okay?” Sam asked softly.

 

The Witch started a bit at the abrupt break into her musings, but offered a wan smile all the same. “Shouldn’t I be asking you that question?”

 

“I’m good,” he replied. Then frowned. “Well, no, I’m not…but that’s okay. I’ll be good sometime. I’m just kind of…” The frown deepened and he set himself into a pliable state of concentration. “Other than last night being what it was…it was just strange.”

 

“I can imagine.” That and then some. There was no good thing to say to a man that had suffered through what he had suffered through. She was at a loss of words and more than a little disjointed about what she knew. Knowledge was, at times, the great enemy. “So…I, uhh…gotta look through this book.”

 

“You need me to go away?”

 

No. And that was the problem.

 

“It’s in Latin, Assyrian, and Greek all combined.” Willow bit her lip. Ignoring questions was always the best tool when she didn’t want to answer them. “I don’t know any of those languages, much less a mutated mixture…but I do know certain spells within individual dialects, and I think that’s what I’m supposed to be looking for.” She glanced up with a weary sigh. “Do you know Assyrian, perchance?”

 

“I know a little Latin.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Well, the President speaks fluent Latin. And I went to law school…we were required to know Latin in some areas.”

 

“I didn’t know Latin was spoken.”

 

Sam grinned softly. “Yeah, neither does he. We’re trying to keep that off his agenda as long as possible. We still have the Mendoza confirmation to get through before he has a senator submit that piece of legislation to Congress.”

 

Willow nodded, smothering a smile. “Yeah, well. Giles and Wes both know Latin, if Watchers are anything alike.”

 

“Watchers?”

 

“Don’t ask. I wonder if Spike would know Assyrian…he’s been around forever.”

 

There was an audible gulp. “How long has he been around? I’m beginning to understand that you and your friends don’t speak in metaphors.”

 

“Oh, we do. Just…not the ones you’d think of.” The redhead frowned. “And you don’t want to know with Spike. I’m not sure if that’s something that should be on the desk of the President…although it would make sense, and we do have a problem with these commandos back home and—”

 

“Willow?”

 

“Yeah.” She leapt off the barstool as though burned, wiping her hands on her jeans with a small, nervous titter that had Sam smiling in seconds. “I’m—uhhh—gonna go…call Spike and see if he knows Assyrian or Greek. You know…just in case. If not, I guess I’ll be doing this the hard way. But you…watch the book for me?”

 

He nodded. “Sure.”

 

“Okay.” And she was gone—bounding off in search of the nearest phone.

 

Sam watched her as she hurried away, short red hair flopping against her head in a manner that he couldn’t help but find thoroughly adorable. Willow was the sort of person he didn’t get to meet. The sort of person that reminded him of values he oftentimes thought a lost cause. She was bubbly and sweet and idealistic. And she had more power, both in the literal and metaphoric sense, than anyone he had ever encountered.

 

Save the President, of course.

 

It took a few minutes, but he was somehow able to tear his eyes away from the corridor she had disappeared down and to the aforementioned book left on the counter. Strange. A book that combined three very different languages into one vernacular had to be worth a peek.

 

The first passages were in all-out gibberish. Sam hadn’t been lying when he explained that he had taken some Latin. He had. Granted, he wasn’t nearly as educated in the language as the President was, but he knew his way around conjugated verbs and nouns. He knew what alea jacta est meant and often used it when meeting with Republican leadership. The day that Josh came back from his meeting from the Hill and yelled, “Veni vidi vinci!” Sam had stopped to correct his pronunciation.

 

Despite popular belief, there were times—like now—when Latin came in handy.

 

“Tuum missio?” He frowned and leaned forward. It would be a day that he had neglected his reading glasses. “No, that can’t be right. Abyssus abyssum invocat…definitely Latin.” There was another break in the phrase that forced him to stop again. Sam released a sigh and neared as close as possible. The Assyrian was coming into play. Along with the Greek, a language that he didn’t understand aside a few choice words.

 

Choice words that didn’t look like they had any sort of proper pronunciation. But Sam was always up for a challenge. He also needed a project to distract himself from the ever more potent reality that surrounded him. Thus, situating himself comfortably, he released a sigh and began fighting with the words for sound and quality. He had no idea what he was saying, or if he was approaching it in the correct manner, but the drive for perfection egged him forward.

 

Said drive was always getting him into trouble.

 

“…tat tvam asi. Es hai'dou. a'idos'de…numen diablolus, es'tô!” He slammed his fist down on the counter and beamed with pride. “I know I got it that time.”

 

And got it he had. All too well. The sky outside roared with a sudden crash of lightning and the lights flickered in response. Sam licked his lips, overwhelmed by sudden anxiety, and turned his eyes skyward.

 

“Please oh please let that have been a coincidence.”

 

*~*~*

 

It took several attempts to wrangle himself away from the Slayer’s side. She was dozing comfortably now; had practically fallen directly asleep the minute he tucked her into bed. And true, while an hour at best had ticked by since she returned home, he could not bring himself to leave her. Thus, he had dragged a chair from the dining room into her newly acquired living quarters and taken seat at the side of her bed. Watching her. Studying her. In awe of her.

 

There were many ways that the situation could be worse. At least he knew that he was falling in love with her. At least he recognized it for what it was. Felt that every look she sent his way was another drop of perpetual non-ending in her eyes. He was a sucker—fortune’s fool, but he couldn’t help himself.

 

And the amazing thing was—the really amazing thing—she felt something, too.

 

Something big.

 

Together, they could break down the Walls of Jericho.

 

There were certain truths to be reckoned with. Conversations to be had. But none of that mattered so long as she was at his side. He had her friendship now, and if she was entirely honest, her affection as well. And he was more than happy to grant her the time she needed. Anything.

 

Yeah, he was pretty much a sap.

 

He was also getting decently hungry. While they had stopped at Denny’s, though that was more or less a joke, he had not obtained the certain nutrients that vampires required in order to remain healthy and undead. There was a stack of bagged blood under the sink in the kitchen, but as they were out of clean mugs, he would be making a very cautious trip to the main house.

 

The past few days had seen a number of changes in Spike’s eating habits. He had noted dutifully while incapacitated in Giles’s bathtub that the notion of drinking blood disgusted the Slayer, but actually seeing it was ten times worse. Bearing that in mind, he was trying to be more considerate of her feelings on the subject by concealing his needed sustenance in closed containers where she could happily pretend he was sipping at coffee rather than warm gooey goodness.

 

Humans didn’t like blood. He remembered not liking blood as a human. And since Buffy was very much a human, he was making his best effort to be mindful of her sentiment.

 

Even if she was asleep now and would never know the difference. It was better to make and keep the habit, especially since it wasn’t yet a habit.

 

Spike stood with some reluctance and neared her bedside. Watching her enjoy her peace was a moment of stolen intimacy, but—he figured with a small grin—turnabout was fair play.

 

Very fair.

 

The vampire drew in a shuddering breath and brushed her hair from her forehead before leaning in to caress her skin with his lips. “Sweet dreams be yours, luv,” he murmured. “’F dreams there be. Sweet dreams to carry you close to me.”

 

Buffy murmured a bit and stretched, but did not awaken. And he had to leave the room before he let himself wither away for the sight of her.

 

Though mid-afternoon, the sky was overcast—damn near menacing—and thus allowed him to travel from the cottage to the main house without relying on his duster or a blanket to shield him. He came crashing in through the back and wandered seamlessly through the dark. He set the microwave for forty-five seconds, as that seemed a good sturdy number, and was enjoying his second mugful when a familiar scent hit the air.

 

Two seconds before it presented an equally familiar face.

 

Spike quirked a brow and licked his lips, lowering the mug and hoping the dark would appropriately conceal its content. Seemed logical enough. The git was only human. “Curly,” he acknowledged dryly with a nod.

 

Josh had frozen in the doorway and was staring at him blankly.

 

The vampire frowned. “Whatsa matter? Run outta blokes upstairs to annoy?”

 

There was nothing. Nothing at all.

 

“’Lo, anyone home?” Nothing. “What the bleedin’ hell? You finally go off the…” It hit him out of nowhere. A universal truth established before time began. Something that he had known too long without consideration to stop when it was needed the most. Something that was too a part of him to apologize for, regardless of the circumstances.

 

Vampires tended to show their true skin when they ingested what they needed to ingest.

 

That and some of his lunch was dribbling down his chin.

 

Josh was still staring at him, completely frozen.

 

In defeated verification, Spike raised a hand to feel at his forehead. Yep, sure enough. Bumpies were there. Bumpies, fangs, blood, the works.

 

“Oh, balls.”

 

Cue screaming.

Chapter Nineteen

 

 

“DONNA!”

 

“Oh, come on, mate,” Spike growled, stalking into the foyer after the petrified man, wiping his mouth free of blood. “Can’t we all be adults, here?”

 

Josh’s eyes were as wide as saucers, and he practically leapt away from the approaching Cockney, fingers coming up to form a makeshift cross. It was amusing in that really pathetic sense. Did wankers really think that worked? Hell, that didn’t even work in the movies. What a waste.

 

The vampire had to keep himself from laughing.

 

“Yeh,” he said instead, nodding diplomatically. “Real effective, what you got there.”

 

“Stay away from me, you freak!”

 

“’S this the way you handle all your opposition? I can see why the gits in DC don’ like you very much.”

 

That seemed to strike a nerve. Josh turned to him with a face full of resolve. “I happen to be very well liked in Washington. And even if I wasn’t, why the hell am I arguing with you? DONNA!”

 

She was already at the top of the stairs, glaring down at him. “You bellowed?”

 

“Get down here!”

 

“He’s gonna give you a spankin’,” Spike provided cheekily. “Someone’s been a bad girl.”

 

“You need to shut up.”

 

“JOSH!”

 

“He’s a bloodsucking fiend from beyond the grave. Let’s go!”

 

The vampire shrugged. “Yeh. An’ you’re a politician. ‘S there really much difference?”

 

Donna was shaking her head. “I am so lost.”

 

There seemed to be little to say to that. Josh released an exasperated sigh, stomped up the stairs and tossed his assistant over his shoulder, which elicited a whoop of surprise from her and a hearty chuckle from the Cockney.

 

Spike’s irritation was floundering. It was difficult to remain angry at something so utterly ridiculous.

 

The blonde assistant was not nearly as amused. When it became obvious that her boss was not going to relent, she took to striking at his back, though it provided little change in demeanor. “What the hell has gotten into you?”

 

“We’re getting out of here.”

 

“What?”

 

Spike watched with glimmering amusement as the panicked wanker rushed through the front of the Wensel house before conceding that it was likely in their best interest to stop and explain before the overreacting went colossal. However, before he could step in with a voice of diplomacy and reason, a sweet scent hit his nostrils and drew his attention to the dining room doorway, where Buffy stood in her pajama bottoms and a tanktop.

 

The world stopped at that moment for the sight of her. Everything stopped. He remembered this feeling—remembered it well. Remembered when Cecily would walk into a room and command every waking breath in his body. Love was like this. Knocked the wind out of gut, or would if he had wind in his gut. Made the floor beneath his feet nonmaterial. She was so soft. So beautiful. And at the moment looked…

 

Delectably bedded.

 

Well, not in the good way, but he was finding she looked delectable regardless of temperament.

 

He had to shake his sinful thoughts away and get her back to sleep. In spite of the circumstances, she had not had a good night. There were certain aspects of the night that were more than pleasant, granted, but slumber was something his Slayer needed. And as long as he was around, he was going to make sure she was taken care of.

 

“Buffy?” Spike licked his lips and allowed himself to indulge the rouse that tickled her cheeks as he took a few steps forward. He realized dimly that a Vampire Slayer was likely the best neutral factor he could want in calming down the erratic politician, but he cared too little about Josh Lyman’s opinion and too much about Buffy to bring that to the table. “Sweetheart, you should be sleepin’.”

 

That sounded domestic, even to him.

 

“There was a phone call,” she said, glancing down. “From Willow. Something about Greek and Assyrian?”

 

“Right, well. ‘S gonna have to wait. You need sleep an’ I gotta take care of somethin’.”

 

Buffy quirked her head at that, eyes narrowing. “What happened?”

 

“’S nothin’. Go back to bed, sweets.”

 

“Spike. Look at me.” She was getting Resolved Face down to a bloody fault. That was hardly fair. “What happened?”

 

A sigh rolled off his shoulders. No use beating around the bush. “’S Josh. He saw me when I wasn’ at my best.” When she frowned, he gestured broadly to his forehead. “Din’t mean for it to happen, but—”

 

“He saw you?”

 

“Was eatin’. Din’t mean to—”

 

“You were eating blood? And in here?”

 

Spike scowled, emotions immediately seizing the defensive. “Oi! Was doin’ it for you, you ungrateful bint. Din’t want you to get all-squeamish ‘cause your bloody housemate keeps hordes of pigs blood under the kitchen sink. All right? An’ after a sodding century an’ more, I stop really carin’ who sees me in all my glory. So, respectfully, bugger off.”

 

Buffy shook her head, prowling forward and seizing his hand in a manner that was so overly familiar that it made his unbeating heart leap into his throat. Slayer-whipped sap. “We have to get to him before—”

 

“He can’t bloody well go anywhere, kitten. They have no wheels, remember?”

 

The answer to that observation was more than foreseeable. The squeal of gravel against the tires sent a cloud of dust into the air, and the last glimpse either got of the Winnebago was it cruising at full speed the wrong way down a one-way street, swerving erratically to avoid the oncoming traffic.

 

The Slayer sighed heavily and her shoulders sagged. But she didn’t let go of his hand. “You were saying?”

 

Spike met her eyes and smiled sheepishly. “Din’t change anythin’,” he said. “They still don’ have wheels. I never said they wouldn’t take ours.”

 

“Giles isn’t going to like this.”

 

“Nope.”

 

Buffy bit her lip. “Wanna not tell him?”

 

Spike’s brows perked at the prospect. “Yeh. Yeh. Right, I could live with that.” She just looked at him. He frowned. “Or maybe you were jus’ kiddin’.”

 

“Maybe I was just kidding.”

 

He nodded, expression suddenly pensive. “Maybe we should go call him now.”

 

“Maybe.”

 

“Though I liked the other plan better.”

 

There was a pause at that; Buffy released an agonized moan. “You’re telling me. But no. No. Right, wrong, line. Gotta go call Giles.” She turned to glance out the door again. “But they weren’t even heading for the Eola. They’re not stopping for Toby and Sam.”

 

Spike shrugged. “Maybe they won’ get far.”

 

Their gazes met slowly, still for a long, contemplative moment; then they nodded on the same beat.

 

“’ll call the hotel.”

 

“I’m gonna go get dressed.”

 

He paused and winked at her, allowing his eyes to take a long rake up and down her body without bothering to conceal his blatant appreciation. “No hurry in that department, sweets. Won’ hear any complaints from me.”

 

Buffy’s flush deepened but she covered it with a scowl before he could call her on it. “Spike!”

 

“Right.” He couldn’t help but grin as she sleeked away. Rouge was a color that favored her skin well; he’d like to see her in nothing but. His girl. His golden girl.

 

And more than that. They were friends. It was a strange revelation, but no less true in hindsight. She was his friend, the first he had had since his death. The first that could honestly be called a friend.

 

Such was just one of his many firsts that included the Slayer. It was becoming harder not to lose himself in her. Especially with how far they had come.

 

Then again, he mused, turning to hunt down a phone, there were worse things than being lost in Buffy Summers.

 

*~*~*

 

“Really, if you stop to think about it, what were the odds that the keys would just be waiting for you in the ignition?” Donna asked for the umpteenth time. “How many cars are just available for a quick getaway when you have a nervous breakdown? One vehicle, one parking lot, and you still managed to—”

 

The man at the wheel released a string of curses and veered violently to the left to get them back on the highway. “I did not have a nervous breakdown,” he grumbled.

 

“You stole a Winnebago, Josh. That doesn’t exactly suggest the utmost in mental clarity.”

 

“Borrowed. The word is borrowed. Work with me.”

 

“Yes, and where are we going?”

 

“Jackson to get on the first flight back to DC and away from this freak show.”

 

“We’re not giving the Winnebago back?”

 

Josh’s eyes widened in alarm. “I’m not going back there. Nuh-huh, no way.”

 

“Right.” She went quiet for a flicker of a second. “Never accuse me of stealing dresses that I buy and return the next day because of my budget ever again. You have forgone that right with your random bout of insanity.”

 

“Speaking of stealing…”

 

“And we’re leaving without Sam and Toby?”

 

Josh shook his head, banging his fist against the steering wheel. “If you’d seen his face, you’d know why.”

 

“Whose face?”

 

“Spike’s face.”

 

The blonde frowned. “Spike has a nice face.”

 

There was an exasperated sigh. “Donna…”

 

“A very nice face. And he’s British.” She cocked a brow at him. “Were you threatened by his brilliance?”

 

A shrill titter ran through the man’s system. “Spike is brilliant?”

 

“All British men are brilliant. I think it’s the law over there.”

 

“You do realize that we’re talking about Spike, right?”

 

“Well, he fixed the car, didn’t he? You couldn’t do that. Neither could Sam or Toby. And you three are supposed to be of the smartest men in the country. I think you are threatened by Spike’s brilliance.” Donna licked her lips coyly and glanced down. “I bet he even knows how to change a tire.”

 

“Dammit, I don’t give a crap if he can change every tire on every vehicle in the Western hemisphere. That’s not the point!” Josh struck the steering wheel again in frustration, causing his assistant to start. “He’s not human. He’s…I don’t know what he is, but he’s not human.”

 

“That’s ridicul—”

 

“He was drinking blood, Donna!” Josh whipped to gage her slackjawed reaction before focusing on the road again. “He’s a freak! Hell, he might be dangerous. We don’t know! I don’t know! But we’re getting out of here right now.”

 

It took several seconds that spanned into years before she could conjure a coherent rebuttal. “Oh my…you saw wrong. Drinking blood? Josh, you saw wrong.”

 

“I did not see wrong! He was drinking blood! I know blood when I see it! And his face—”

 

The Winnebago jerked to a sudden halt and rebounded off thin air as though hitting a brick wall at full speed. Josh’s arm shot instinctively across Donna’s chest to stop her before she whiplashed, his foot pressing the break pedal through the floor. They were directly at the city limits, facing an open road with no oncoming traffic. Nothing to the outside where furthered travel was impeded by an unseen barrier. Stopped. Stranded by nothing at all.

 

It took several minutes for either to catch their breath.

 

“A-are you okay?” Josh ventured shakily.

 

The blonde shook her head and moaned. “Oh God.”

 

“Donna?”

 

“I’m going to be sick.” She covered her face with her hands and smoothed her hair back, absently registering the reassuring massages that Josh soothed into the shoulder nearest to him. “What happened?”

 

“I don’t know.”

 

“What did we hit?”

 

“Nothing.”

 

Donna’s head shot up, her eyes taking in the scene before them. “What do you mean, we hit nothing? How can we have hit nothing?”

 

“I don’t know. I…” Josh forced his concern away from the blonde at his side and turned instead to manipulate the gears of the Winnebago. The vehicle wanted to move forward, but was pushing at an invisible nothing. Just nothing. The tires moved and screeched and sent a horrible aroma from the concrete, but nothing. “No,” he said, slamming his hands against the wheel again. “No, goddammit! This can’t be good.”

 

Ten minutes later, they had moved outside to test the barrier with their hands. First try sent Josh back ten feet as though he had touched an electric fence. After Donna verified that he hadn’t hurt himself, she took to throwing pebbles and the few sticks she could scrounge at the invisible wall as her boss dug out his cell and furiously punched in the familiar numbers that got Leo’s office.

 

“You’re not going to tell him your idea about rooming with people who aren’t human, are you?” Donna asked dryly.

 

“It’s not as crazy as you’re making it sound,” he barked.

 

“I think you’ve gone around the bend.”

 

“Yeah.” Josh turned his back on her, pivoting sharply at the heel as Leo picked up the other line. “Yeah. I got a situation here, and if you could explain, that would be fantastic.”

 

“Yes. Leo!” Donna indulged several long steps forward, shouting as loud as she could. “Help! Josh has gone crazy!”

 

The man sent her a nasty glare and turned away again. “Yeah. No, this doesn’t have anything to do with Senator Davis. That’s pretty much yesterday’s news. I’m standing here at the city limits of Natchez and, while there’s nothing ahead of me, my…well, the Winnebago won’t go anywhere. Where I got the Winnebago doesn’t matter right now! I’m saying it’s functioning fine but it won’t go forward. No! Leo, I did two laps back and forth and it runs fine until I get to the city limits. It’s not letting me leave! Yes, I understand that you’re not able to fix everything, but this…and there’s this guy back at the place who’s a bloodsucking freak with a weird interchangeable facial condition. Got anything for me?”

 

“Other than Prozac?” Donna muttered.

 

Josh sent her another look before turning his attention back to the phone. “What? Uh…” He frowned and glanced at his assistant again. “Have we ever seen Spike outside?”

 

She just looked at him. “He did fix the car didn’t he?”

 

“Yeah, but he had to do that at night.”

 

“He has a sun allergy. He can’t be out in the daytime.”

 

“Yeah.” Josh nodded and leveled the phone with his mouth again. “Leo, this guy has a sun allergy and can’t—what? Yes, there was something wrong with his face. He looked…well…he looked kinda like a Klingon.”

 

“A Klingon, Josh? Honestly…”

 

“Aha!” The man whooped in victory and sent a snide leer in Donna’s direction. “Leo knows something about this. He…what?” The triumph in his voice died as abruptly as it had originated and his expression went blank. “He’s a what? What?” The blankness lasted all of two seconds. He was yelling again before his assistant could enjoy the stupor on his face. “What?! Is this a real thing, or are you just… Leo! And you knew? And you didn’t tell me? How could you not tell me this?”

 

Donna’s eyes were wide. “What is it?”

 

The Deputy Chief of Staff shook his head and took to pacing again, ignoring her for the moment. “I don’t believe this,” he griped into the phone. “Who’s in on it? Who knows? Fitz and McNally? That’s it? What about the President? You haven’t told the President?! Leo!”

 

“Josh!”

 

He stopped and expelled a deep breath. “There’s a government conspiracy, Donna. Run for cover.”

 

“What the hell is going on?”

 

He opened his mouth to reply but Leo started in again before he could get anything out. Josh nodded, more to himself, and held up a hand to signify that she needed to be patient for a few more minutes. When the call finally concluded, he hissed out a deep breath, closed the phone, and promptly threw it to the ground to crush it under his weight in the spontaneity of a Lyman hissy fit.

 

Donna bit her lip. “Josh?”

 

“Don’t. Fucking. Believe. This.”

 

“Josh, you have to tell me what’s going on.”

 

“Well, I was right about Spike.” He shook his head. “And trust me, I can’t even begin to grasp the words that are about to come out of my mouth, so bear with me.”

 

“What is it?”

 

“Spike’s not human. He’s a vampire.”

 

The air fell still around them. They stared at each other for a few excruciatingly long seconds. There was always something about Josh’s demeanor that Donna could read when others couldn’t—the line between truth and slander. And he was telling the truth now. No games. No hoaxes. No practical jokes. This was the truth. The truth as he believed it.

 

She was trembling when she got her voice to work again. “Wh-what?”

 

“Oh yeah. And that’s not even the best part. Evidently, the government has funded a private organization to keep vampires and all other kinds of—and here I go again using a word I never thought I’d think, much less say…” He trailed off with a short laugh, shaking his head. “An organization that keeps other kinds of demons under control.”

 

“This is a joke, right?”

 

“It’s called the Initiative. And the only people in the White House that we know who have access are Leo, Fitzwallace, and Nancy McNally.”

 

“The President…?”

 

“Plausible deniability. He can’t know anything like this without being asked to lie to Joe Crazy and his neighbor Billy Conspiracy Theorist the next time we hold a press conference on Mars. This is crazy!” Josh grumbled in disgust and gave the nearest tire a good kick. “I…gimme time. Then we’re gonna have to go back.”

 

“Go back?”

 

“Well, I don’t really wanna camp out here, do you?” He expelled another deep breath and shook his head. “And we left Sam with a vampire.”

 

“Spike…he hasn’t hurt us, Josh. Are we even talking about this?”

“He’s a vampire, Donna.”

 

“Yeah, and he hasn’t hurt us. Don’t you think he would’ve tried to hurt us by now if that was his prerogative? Besides…Buffy trusts him.”

 

“Buffy probably doesn’t know. How many sane people do you know that would look at him, say ‘vampire,’ and move on? We gotta go back.”

 

“And do what?”

 

“I don’t know, but it has to be something. The guy’s a vampire.” Josh shook his head, motioning for her to get back into the Winnebago. “And you thought he had a nice face.”

 

Donna blinked. “He does have a nice face.”

 

“Inside.”

 

“I don’t see what his being a vampire has to do with the quality of his being man-candy.”

 

“Inside!”

 

“I think you’re threatened by his brilliance.”

 

“Donna, he’s a vampire. If anything, I’m threatened by that. Inside.”

 

“Okay. Just give me time. Spike’s a vampire. Do you have any idea how ridiculous that sounds?” One look from him verified that he did. “Maybe it’s all a mistake. Vampires? Secret government agencies that specialize in demon research? It has to be a mistake.”

 

“Inside.”

 

“All I’m saying is, I’m not going to panic until Spike explains everything.”

 

“Donna, please get into the Winnebago.”

 

She nodded, still a little numb, and made the roundabout trip around the vehicle and climbed in the passenger door.

 

Two minutes passed before the car started up again and performed a U-Turn back for the Wensel house. Neither noticed the enclosing storm clouds or the roll of thunder that followed. They were too engaged in selective silence. Contemplating the world they had lived in all their lives as belonging to creatures known through the ages as being fictional. It wasn’t possible. It just wasn’t possible.

 

Vampires in America.

 

That thought was enough to silence anyone.

 

And oddly enough, Josh spent the majority of the car-ride back hoping against hope that Congress hadn’t secretly passed legislation that legalized voting rights for the undead.

 

Perhaps he really was going crazy.

 

 Chapter Twenty

 

 

By the time the Winnebago pulled into the drive of the Wensel House, everyone had congregated to the parlor and were scattered accordingly in clusters of no more than three. Xander, Anya, and Wesley were in one corner; Giles and Toby in another. Willow and Sam had taken the small settee and were trading estranged glances while Buffy and Spike stood conspicuously close in the opposing corner.

 

“They couldn’t be more obvious if they tried,” Harris muttered.

 

Which, of course, turned out to be the embodiment of a bad idea as vampire hearing made it very difficult for anything of any nature to slip by so coercively. “Oh, ‘m sure we could, Stay Puft,” Spike retorted, fighting the temptation to slip an arm around Buffy’s shoulders. “But somethin’ tells me the lady wouldn’t like that.”

 

“Shut up,” the Slayer grumbled, avoiding the prying eyes of every judgmental body in the room.

 

“Buffy—”

 

“Xander, he’s just trying to bait you. Drop it.”

 

The vampire nodded, though he did nothing to wipe the smirk from his face. The fact that everyone was pretty much aware of what was happening between them and that—outside the expected leers, stares, and almost-commentary—no one had said much struck him as utterly refreshing. Giles’s tacit objection was quickly becoming reluctant acceptance; Xander’s disapproval very palpable but resigned.

 

It was as though everyone had seen it coming. Everyone but the Slayer and himself.

 

“So…” Sam licked his lips, breaking the silence before it could settle again. “What happens now?”

 

“We waste more time squabbling with each other,” Toby replied. “When there is real productivity out there to be had.”

 

“’S not my fault your mate ran away like a sodding ninny.”

 

Buffy arched a brow at him. Willow coughed loudly.

 

Spike pouted. “Well, maybe it is. Jus’ a li’l.”

 

Sam blinked dumbly, casting confused glances to his housemates. “What? What’s going on?”

 

“You know that stuff that we thought you weren’t ready to know yet?” Willow asked softly. He nodded. “Well, I think you’re about to get the full shebang.”

 

“Great.”

 

Buffy arched a brow. “He knows?”

 

“A little.”

 

“A little what?”

 

The redhead offered a quirky smile. “Well, remember that thing you wanted me to do to help us find Faith before you went all…you know…with the crazy driveage to Louisiana? Well, Sam wanted a sandwich, and—”

 

“For God’s sakes, can we please stop speaking in euphemisms?” Giles sighed heavily and removed his glasses. “Does anyone here not know that Willow is a witch?”

 

There was a stunned pause.

 

“Well,” Toby said slowly. “I have had my suspicions.”

 

“Watch it, mate,” Spike advised. “Red’ll turn you into a newt before you can say antidisestablishmentarianism.”

 

The other man blinked. “I can honestly say that I am surprised that you can say antidisestablishmentarianism.”

 

Sam glanced timidly to Giles. “About the book…have you…do you know if I did any damage?”

 

Buffy frowned. “The book? What happened?”

 

“The book you gave me,” the elder Watcher replied dryly. “It seems we might have already had a mishap.”

 

“We have?” the Deputy Communications Director whimpered.

 

“We didn’t,” Willow reassured him, patting his knee. “You were just playing with the words. It’s okay. It’s not like you wield any supernatural power to give the words the umph they need…” When she was not automatically met with a foray of confirmation from the two Watchers, her confidence began to waver and her voice reached a shrill note. “Right, guys?”

 

“What happened?” the Slayer demanded again.

 

“Sam spoke one of the passages aloud,” the Witch explained. “No big.”

 

Xander blinked at her dumbly. “No big? Will…ummm…hello?”

 

“There might actually not be anything to worry about,” Anya said. “I’ve seen these cases before. In order for a spell to work, one must not necessarily have any supernatural powers; only a belief in what they are trying to accomplish. That’s how I became a vengeance demon in the very general sense.”

 

Toby just looked at her. “A vengeance what?”

 

“So you don’t know if it did anything?” Sam asked.

 

“We are not educated enough in the book—who wrote it and for what purpose, et cetera—to determine what any of the passages mean. You could have spurned an apocalypse or made a man in Belize dress as a ballerina, for all we know.” Giles sighed deeply and shook his head. “We make a point not to attempt spells unless we have an understanding of their outcome…which is why I asked Willow not to try any until we knew exactly what we are dealing with.”

 

The redhead frowned defensively. “Hey! It was him!”

 

Sam’s eyes widened. “Willow!”

 

“Sorry.”

 

Toby was staring at everyone as though they had spontaneously broken into song. “Is everyone here on drugs?”

 

Wesley released a long whistle. “If only life were so simple.”

 

There wasn’t much room for rebuttal; Josh had all but crashed the front door down within the next second, eyes fixating immediately on Spike as he paraded inward, missing intent. And loudly, without any room for explanation or preamble, he pointed an accusing finger and shouted: “You’re a vampire!”

 

Sam was at his feet the next minute, a shrill attacking his voice. “He is?!”

 

Spike shrugged reasonably and cast Buffy an unworried glance. “Well, that would explain the drastically serious sun allergy, wouldn’t it?”

 

She glared at him, though her eyes were dancing.

 

“Josh!” Donna yelled, scrambling in behind her boss. “It’s not going to help anyone to rave about like a madman.”

 

“And yet he’s so good at it,” Toby observed.

 

His deputy was not so quick to dismiss the accusation. He had seen too much to admit that as an option. “Spike’s a vampire?!”

 

“Bloodsucker!”

 

Xander rose to his feet, oddly diplomatic. “Okay…crazy people have entered the room.”

 

Donna flashed the platinum Cockney an apologetic glance. “Sorry about this!”

 

It didn’t matter. By the time Josh was within two feet of Spike, Buffy had very intently stepped forward in a manner that was so overly protective that it caused the vampire to freeze with such a random blow of affection and therein fleetingly eliminated the seriousness of the current situation.

 

“All right,” she said, adorning her patented dry smile that spoke levels for power and commanded authority. “You need to calm down.”

 

Sam was hiding behind the couch, ignoring Willow’s attempts to console him. “Spike’s a vampire?”

 

“I’ll ask again: is everyone here on drugs?”

 

“Oh good Lord,” Giles gasped, caressing his brow to wane off an oncoming headache.

 

Josh glared unblinkingly at Buffy, pointing at the man over her shoulder and speaking slowly as though she was a child. “He’s. A. Vampire.”

 

“Tell me something I don’t know!”

 

Donna blinked. “You know he’s a vampire?”

 

“As if it isn’t obvious,” Anya grumbled.

 

“All right…” Wesley heaved a sigh and stepped forward. “We all need to settle down so Rupert and I can explain—”

 

“Why are you defending a vampire?!”

 

Harris shrugged. “I’d actually like to hear this one.”

 

Buffy rolled her eyes. “Oh, shut up, Xander. Your girlfriend’s a vengeance demon, so I really don’t think you have room to criticize, thank you.”

 

Sam whirled around, staring wide-eyed at Anya. “She’s what?!”

 

“Former vengeance demon,” the man hurried to correct. “As in, past tense.”

 

“As in, don’t care.”

 

Spike was grinning like an idiot. “Don’ you jus’ love her?”

 

Buffy flushed but shook her head and continued, redirecting her eyes at Josh. “And I’m defending the vampire because it’s my job, not yours.”

 

“What the hell are you talking about?”

 

Sam was still staring at Anya uneasily. “A vengeance demon?”

 

The accused shrugged. “I said it earlier.”

 

“And hey! No judging!” Harris pointed at the redhead. “She’s a witch!”

 

“Xander!”

 

Donna’s eyes widened. “Willow!”

 

The redhead stuttered desperately before her eyes landed on Spike again. Tactic easily noted; she shrugged at him apologetically, but did not hesitate to remind the room that, “He’s a vampire!”

 

Buffy glared. “Will.”

 

“Sorry,” she eeped.

 

“I still wanna know why you care,” Josh whined. “He’s a vampire.”

 

“Got that memo, thanks.” The petite blonde stepped forward intently. “Next time you decide to go investigating vamps, try looking under Slayer, the. As in, yours truly. I am a vampire slayer. I slay vamps. Of the Chosen, and all that. So please, back off.”

 

That certainly sent Josh for a loop. He could do nothing but stare at her for several long seconds. “You’re a vampire slayer?”

 

“Correct.”

 

He licked his lips and digested the notion. “And Spike’s a vampire?”

 

“Correct again.”

 

“So why is he all unslayed?”

 

Xander cleared his throat. “That’s a perfectly valid question.”

 

Donna frowned. “Isn’t Spike your friend?”

 

To that, the other man had no reaction but a long, humorless laugh.

 

Buffy sent him a look that could freeze Hell, thaw it, and freeze it again. “You know why,” she snapped. To Josh, she situated her hands on her hips in classic Slayer stance. The same that the very approving vampire behind her had memorized from Day One. She meant business. And lots of it. “Spike is here and unstaked because I say so. Anything you do to, oh say, undo that will not be appreciated by me. The vampire slayer.”

 

“I think you’ve misinterpreted the definition of slay, lady.”

 

“Josh,” Donna hissed.

 

“Spike has something…he can’t hurt humans. At all.” That excuse sounded weak, even to her. When had it stopped being about that and about something else? She didn’t know; now was not the time. “He can’t hurt humans, and I don’t make a habit of hurting those who are pretty much designated pacifists.”

 

The Cockney grumbled a bit at that. “Sure know how to turn on the charm there, luv,” he observed. “Make me feel all important.”

 

She turned to look at him. “I’m fighting to protect you. That’s important enough.”

 

“Don’ need help.”

 

“Spike—”

 

“Whoa, wait.” Josh pinched the bridge of his nose. “He can’t hurt humans? Why not?”

 

Giles cleared his throat with a thin smile. “We don’t know yet.”

 

“There are commando guys involved,” Anya added helpfully.

 

Willow shrugged. “He tried to bite me and had trouble performing.” She waved off Sam’s look of concern and smiled slightly at his sudden pose of unmitigated accusation. “But it’s okay. Buffy trusts him now and—”

 

“Buffy?”

 

“What’s going on?”

 

There was a significant pause at that. Josh’s shoulders slumped and he turned slowly to face his colleague, eyes wide. “Well…apparently, Leo’s been keeping some things from us.”

 

Sam gawked at him. “Leo knows about this?”

 

“There’s an entire faction of the government that knows about this.” He glanced to Buffy. “It’s called the Initiative. Specializes in supernatural research.” There was a long sigh; he shook his head. “And this is totally insane because I’m in a bed and breakfast in Natchez talking about vampires with vampires as though it’s all supposed to make sense.”

 

“There’s just one vampire here,” Anya said. “I’m a former vengeance demon.”

 

“She keeps saying that,” Sam whimpered.

 

“Whoa, wait.” Buffy jumped forward and grabbed Josh’s arm. “The government has been researching demons? Since when?”

 

“I don’t know! I wasn’t exactly interested in dates, lady. I called Leo to tell him what was going on and suddenly I’m up to my ass in government conspiracy.” He turned to Spike with a huff. “And you’re not supposed to exist!”

 

The vampire’s eyes widened mockingly. “’ve been here a lot longer than you, mate.”

 

“And demons have been here much longer than humans,” Anya intervened defensively, shooting the Cockney a look of full-fledged support.

 

“This is crazy,” Josh muttered. “You are all crazy.”

 

Wesley glanced to Giles and shrugged as though offering diplomacy. “Do you wish to handle this?” he asked. “Or shall I?”

 

Almost immediately, the Senior Staffers turned to the elder Watcher imploringly for guidance. It was more than obvious who had their respect. And while the other man sulked a bit at this irrefutable knowledge, he nodded all the same and moved aside so that Giles might take the floor.

 

“We never meant for any of this to happen,” he began softly. “In fact, I am more than appalled by the complete lack of protocol that we have exhibited since arriving.” He did not come out and name names, though the condescending look in the peroxide vampire’s direction left little to the imagination. It also caused Buffy’s hand to immediately find Spike’s and squeeze in mindless reassurance. “As far as this…Initiative is concerned, that might well be the explanation to a lot of what has been going on in Sunnydale the past few months…Spike’s…problem, amongst other things.”

 

The vampire arched a brow, doing a secret dance of joy that the Slayer had touched him of her own freewill in front of her friends and was showing no signs of regret. Or withdrawal, for that matter. “You think I got hijacked by a group of government cronies?”

 

“Leo did mention that experiments to neutralize what he called ‘hostiles’ were being conducted in secret locations throughout the country,” Josh murmured. His demeanor betrayed that of a scorned child, which made his explanation almost funny. “Sometimes involving neurological implants.”

 

“What?!” the two blondes yelped at the same time.

 

“You put somethin’ in my head?!” Spike snarled. “You righteous git—”

 

Josh’s eyes went wide as his hands came up. “It wasn’t me!”

 

“Right. Typical. ‘Please look the other way while I muck up your life.’” He shook his head, tugging Buffy back against him as though the man’s next course of action would be to submit the Slayer for tests. “I can’t bloody believe this…”

 

Buffy squeezed his hand again to calm him. “Spike…”

 

“Sodding bollocks.”

 

“And what about you!” The Deputy Chief of Staff went right back to accusing as though it was a religion he had to fall back on. “You made it impossible for us to leave!”

 

Spike blinked. “Excuse me? ‘m the one bloke here who could fix a bloody car.”

 

“Yeah, well, we can’t get out of Natchez.”

 

“That’s not my problem!”

 

“There’s a barrier or something,” Donna added helpfully, her apologetic look all but plastered on her face. “We couldn’t get out.”

 

“What?” Xander demanded. “We’re stuck here, too? What the hell?”

 

“This might be easier if only two or three of them spoke at a time,” Wesley commented to Giles, who looked as though he was about to put his fist through the wall. In any regard, that seemed to inspire the room to silence, even if the dagger-pointed glares did not cease.

 

Sam cleared his throat, redirecting everyone’s attention to the elder Watcher. “Continue,” he said. Then added with a beseeching note in his voice, “Please.”

 

Giles nodded tacitly and drew his eyes away from his Slayer and her nauseatingly close relationship with her alleged prey. “Wesley and I are former instructors of the Watchers Council in England,” he said. “We are a group that has been around since the dawn of time. Each Watcher is assigned a Slayer to train and protect, best to his ability. Buffy is my Slayer…or rather was, until I was fired.”

 

Donna’s eyes went wide. “Fired? For what?”

 

“For caring too much.”

 

“Awww. That is so—”

 

“Donna,” Josh interjected sharply. “Not exactly the right time.”

 

Giles licked his lips and expelled another sigh. “I know this is difficult to grasp, but bear with me. It requires knowing and accepting that the reality you have depended on for the entirety of your life is not what it seems.” He nodded at his surrogate daughter. “Buffy is the Slayer. She is the Chosen One. Unto every generation, a girl is selected to face the vampires, demons, and forces of darkness. Buffy is she…only Faith is, too, and that’s where it gets confusing.”

 

“It wasn’t confusing before?”

 

“I died,” Buffy said. “For like, two seconds, and the entire ‘line of the Slayer’ thing was thrown out of whack. The next Slayer, Kendra, was called because I was dead, and—”

 

Donna was staring at her blankly. “You were dead?”

 

“For a minute, yeah.”

 

“But…”

 

“She drowned,” Xander offered. “She drowned while this evil Master Vamp was trying to rise from his lair. I did CPR and—voila! Buffy not dead.”

 

Wesley nodded, stepping forward. “Yes, but she did technically die, as it passed the test for calling the next Slayer. Thus, Kendra was called.”

 

“So in order for there to be a new Slayer, the old one has to die?” Donna asked. “Why? Why just one? If there are so many vampires, then—”

 

“We didn’t make up the rules, Ms. Moss,” Giles replied wanly. “This has been the way of things for centuries. It will continue to be the way of things long after you have died. A Slayer’s lifespan is…well…”

 

Spike’s hand tightened around Buffy’s at the mention of her preset expiration date. Killing Slayers and hunting Slayers had been his modus operandi so long that it struck him almost out of the blue that he might regret it. But he didn’t; he couldn’t. Not the other girls. They led him to the one at his side now, and he wouldn’t change that for anything. But no one was going to touch Buffy while he was around. His girl would lead a long, fulfilling, and shag-filled life, if he had anything to say about it.

 

“Kendra was killed by a vamp named Drusilla,” Xander continued before sending the peroxide Cockney another chilling look. “Spike’s ex-girlfriend, I might add. And quite a nut job, if I don’t say so myself.”

 

Josh took another step away from the vampire.

 

“Your girlfriend killed a Slayer?” Donna asked, wide-eyed. “Is that why you broke up with her?”

 

Spike smiled thinly. “I—”

 

“Are you kidding me? Spike is probably jealous that she got to do it instead of him. After all, that’s how he got into the history books, right?” Harris spat. “He’s killed two. He came to Sunnydale to kill Buffy. He—”

 

“Xander,” the Slayer warned, tone level. “That’s enough.”

 

Josh’s eyes widened. “This guy’s tried to kill you and you’re defending him?”

 

There was a pause. Buffy’s gaze dropped and she shook her head. “It’s not like that anymore.”

 

“Spike can’t hurt people,” Willow offered meekly. “He…works with us.”

 

“Thanks to the lot of you wankers,” the vampire grumbled. “An’ as far as the other, I’d never hurt Buffy. Ever. She’s right. Things have changed.” His eyes met hers and he smiled a little. “’ve changed. An’ I’m here ‘cause I was asked to be here.” The moment was small and noted; a tender gaze of recognition. Captured intimacy at its best. It didn’t last long, though, and he had turned back to the others within an instant. “But let’s clarify a few things, shall we? Yes, I am evil. No, I do not have a soul. Yes, I have killed in the past, an’ no, I don’ regret it. ‘S what I am. Vamps are killers, you ignorant gits. ‘S what we do. People are jus’ sodding snacks walkin’ around to be picked off. That’s what we know. ‘S all we know. An’ we’ve been around a lot longer than any of you bloody pulsers can vouch for. So piss off.”

 

There was a long pause.

 

“Right,” Josh said, glancing to Buffy. “You got yourself a real winner, there.”

 

“This isn’t about me,” she retorted. “Or Spike. We’re here for Faith. She’s a Slayer, just like me. Only she’s on the very end of unbalanced and about ready to dive off into homicidal-tendencies land. She tried to help the Mayor Ascend last year…or become a demon, and I put her in a coma. She woke up from the coma, switched bodies with me, and was about to do all sorts of damage before Spike helped us apprehend her.”

 

Sam exchanged a long glance with the Deputy Chief of Staff. “If she was apprehended,” the former said. “Then why…”

 

“Spike held her…or me…long enough so that we could switch bodies back,” Buffy explained. “Whatever your guys put into his head caused for it to fire, and he couldn’t hold on long enough for us to actually apprehend her. She ran, we followed, and we’re here.”

 

“And this girl’s…” Josh gestured broadly. “One of you. She’s…”

 

“She’s a Slayer,” Willow said. “Of the Chosen? Really strong and, well, strong. When you’re that strong and demented…well, that’s just a bad combination.”

 

“That’s why she was able to punch through the car?” Sam whimpered, sinking into his seat at the redhead’s corresponding nod. “She kicked in the glass, too. Of the car window. Kicked right through.”

 

Josh glanced to Buffy skeptically. “And you’re saying you’re one of these Slayer people?”

 

Spike snickered. “What is it with you gits? Got some learnin’ disability? Or would you prefer to see our girl handle herself in the up close an’ personal sense?”

 

“Since when did you become one of us?” Xander demanded.

 

“Give it a rest, Stay Puft.”

 

The Slayer shrugged. “He’s here, isn’t it?”

 

“And since when did you start defending Evil Dead?”

 

“Buffy’s not defendin’ me, you ignorant prat,” the Cockney growled. “’S a statement of fact. I’m here. See me, here?” He extended his arms in a manner of showmanship. “’m here ‘cause Faith used me. Right? Din’t particularly like that, an’ I think some blokes in the room—” He nodded at Sam, who looked at the ground almost immediately, “—can see why I’d be brassed. An’ yeh, I’m helpin’ out. Where exactly do you get the shit end of the deal?” A moment’s pause; nothing but dumb stupor. “Yeh, that’s what I thought. Bugger off an’ leave a vamp in peace.”

 

Silence filled the room at the upset of Spike’s outburst. No one knew exactly where to go from there. If there was anywhere to go.

 

Then Willow raised her hand. Slowly. “You called her Buffy,” she said to the vampire.

 

“What?”

 

The room was staring at her. She gulped slightly but continued. “You called her Buffy. I think that’s why Xander…and Giles and Wes are a little on the side of…you called her Buffy.” She didn’t follow that thought through to conclusion, but it seemed to satisfy itself. And the point was not a lost cause.

 

The subsequent look that the vampire and Slayer shared similarly did nothing to satisfy any concerns. But in any regard, that was far from their intent.

 

And then there was nothing. The parlor was stupefied into another lengthy silence. A series of darted, suspicious glances with no counter to back it up. Just a dry recognition that such was the way of things. Approaching the border between knowledge and acceptance. Approaching dangerous territory.

 

Finally, Giles cleared his throat and nodded, removing his glasses with a short, incredulous laugh. “Just when it seems that we have reached the last low,” he murmured, more to himself before turning his attention to the room again. “All right. Faith is a rogue Slayer. Wesley and I are Watchers here partially on part of the Watcher’s Council, but unofficially as we find it imperative that we get to her first. Willow is a practicing witch, Anya a former demon, Spike a vampire, and Buffy a Slayer.” He stopped, eyes landing on the young blonde with a small smile. “The Slayer. More over, demons and vampires exist, your government is evidently aware and a part of the fight for humanity, and we stand a chance that Sam has sparked the ignition for the end of the world. I believe that brings everyone up to speed. Are there any questions?”

 

A stunned beat chilled the room once more. Words were at a loss. There was simply nothing to say.

 

Then Toby, who had remained quiet throughout the entire display, caved and burst out laughing.

 

And once he started, he couldn’t stop.

 

At all.

 

“Toby,” Sam reprimanded ineffectively, glancing around with shades of apology. Not that it did any good. The man was simply in stitches, and nothing would bring him down.

 

“Well,” Spike said after a long minute. “There’s one way to look at it.”

 

“And we can’t get out?” Sam asked Josh quietly. “You’re sure?”

 

“Oh yeah. Fenced in.” The words were barked, snappish in nature, but nothing else had been shared since they arrived. “An invisible eighty foot tall electric fence built like a brick wall.”

 

“We’ll investigate, of course,” Giles said with a quick nod. “There has to be an explanation.”

 

“If your idea of an explanation is anything like the madness you were spewing a minute ago, I’m not gonna hold out for hope.”

 

That was all that passed. Nothing else but Toby’s hysterical chuckles. And when he finally gathered himself together, the seriousness back in his eyes, he did nothing to excuse or explain himself. Had nothing to say about the matter. Which was fine—judging by the dreariness of his disposition, no one needed to be called stupid or insane again.

 

All settled to silence. And no one spoke. There was much to say, of course; just no will, no understanding to say it. Too much clouded the terrain, and any proposed method of approach was lost.

 

There was nothing. Just nothing.

 

Chapter Twenty-One

 

 

Buffy had never been more grateful to return to the solitude of a room in her life. The long strain of fatigue was embedded in her coloring; her entire body ready to collapse as she crossed the threshold. It was her good fortune that Spike was behind her. He held her arm with tender concern, ushering her to the den that was now no one’s bedroom.

 

It felt as though years had come and gone since she sat. Since she was alone. Since she had someone there to comfort her. But no. With her vampire behind her, there could be no doubt. He guided her to the nearest sofa and encouraged her wordlessly to sit down.

 

“’m gonna go get somethin’ for you to eat,” he said after she was situated. “You look pale.”

 

Buffy smiled gratefully but shook her head. “I’m good, but thanks.”

 

Spike was adamant. He shook his head right back at her and flicked on the television before tossing her the remote. “You look pale,” he said again. “An’ that’s comin’ from a vamp.”

 

A small grin flirted with her lips. “You know you’re pale when…”

 

He smiled back at her. “Tonight took a lot outta everyone,” he agreed. “But I don’ think anyone got more thrashed than you an’ Rupert.”

 

“Something tells me you don’t care as much if Giles is pale and hungry,” she replied teasingly, quirking her head to the side.

 

“Well,” the vampire retorted as he paraded forward to brush a kiss over her forehead. “Rupert’s not as cute as you.”

 

“Don’t tell him that.”

 

“’E also doesn’ have your legs.” He winked at her and turned at the heel for the door. “You want anythin’ particular? Gonna head up to King’s Tavern.”

 

She arched a brow. “They have takeout?”

 

“For enough cash, they do.” He grinned. “’Sides, they’ve got this onion thing.”

 

“I wouldn’t mind a sandwich,” she decided. “And some bread pudding.”

 

“You’ve jumped on that train, too?”

 

The Slayer shrugged. “Hey, it’s good. And we don’t have any in Sunnydale. Might as well make the most of it.”

 

“All right.” Spike took a minute to look at her before forcing his eyes away. If he started staring now, he knew he wouldn’t stop. “Anythin’ else?”

 

Buffy shrugged again in that non-committal way that expressed more than she would have liked to betray. “Just come home quickly.”

 

There was a pause at that; the entire room went still. He looked at her, long and hard before acknowledging that she hadn’t realized fully what she had said. What it meant. By the time she turned back to him, he had gathered his bearings and was nodding at the door. He offered a smile that was more dazed than he would have liked, and was outside before she could decipher the look behind his gaze.

 

Come home, she had said. Come home.

 

She wanted him with her. She didn’t want him to go out at all.

 

The small words that escaped her mouth so carelessly—how could she suspect what they meant? How could she know?

 

He was losing himself in her. Surely. Fast. Drowning a slow, delightful death. He was losing himself and Heaven help him if he gave a lick.

 

Buffy smiled at him warmly as he came in through the small dining area nearly an hour later. She met him at the door and helped bring his supplies inside before the first drops of rain began dancing on the rooftop. They worked in concert for a few quiet moments. Spike retreated into the kitchen to collect some tableware and immediately began setting up the food presentation. The Slayer took his duster and hung it in his new bedroom closet.

 

The vampire illuminated the table with two candles—more because he preferred them to the intrusive overhead light, but the whimsy of an ideal romantic setting was not lost on him. The ease of routine was upon them, he reflected with a grin; it was as though they had gone through this enough times to declare themselves utterly domestic.

 

“Mmmm,” Buffy said as she made her way back into the dining area. “That doesn’t smell like a sandwich.”

 

“I used my creative license to interpret your order as broadly as possible,” he retorted with a wink. “’Sides, you need some meat on your bones. A li’l steak every now an’ then never hurt anyone.”

 

Her eyes narrowed, but not angrily.

 

“’S not rare, ‘f that’s what you’re worried about. My goal is to get you to eat it.” He offered a kind, disarming smile and stepped aside so that she could inspect her meal. The cut of tenderloin was annoyingly tempting—more so than she would have expected. He had also selected a stuffed baked potato and an assortment of steamed vegetables. Stuff her mother would want her to eat that was suddenly the epitome of appealing.

 

He had also bought a bottle of wine.

 

“Got myself one, too,” he said, suddenly nervous as she moved to take her seat. “Bloody. An’ the onion thing. An’ jus’ to see what all the fuss is about, bread pudding.”

 

“If you were alive, you’d be spending most of tonight in the bathroom.”

 

He smirked. “Lovely word picture, sweetheart.”

 

Buffy shrugged. “Hey. Only human.” She offered a final smile before turning to fully appreciate the presentation of her meal. “This does look good. I don’t eat steak all that often.”

 

“We all have our flaws.”

 

“Some more blatant than others.” A wicked gleam sparkled her eyes, but he did not call her on it. Nor did he comment on the almost manipulative way she engulfed her bites, her succulent mouth encircling her fork in an overly seductive manner. Her tongue peeked out to tease him as well, as though berating her lips for taking all the fun. This naturally led to all out distraction; so enamored was he in the movements and subtle invitations of her mouth that her next question stunned him verily. “How do you think they are?”

 

He stared at her for a long, blank moment. “Whassat?”

 

“Donna,” she said. “And Josh, Sam. Toby I don’t know too well, but him, too. They all seemed kinda flabbergasted when it was all over.”

 

Oh. Of course she would be talking about today. That made more sense.

 

“I don’ think ‘s necessarily over, pet,” he said, taking a bite of his own steak. “These blokes aren’ bloody pushovers. They run your country an’ won’ take a drastic change like this sittin’ down.”

 

“Well, we don’t have time for them to get comfortable. We have to—”

 

“You heard Curly, pet. Rupert drove out, too. Tested it. Whatever wanted us here’s aimin’ to make the change permanent.” He cocked a brow as her skin paled at the prospect of being trapped in Natchez for X amount of time. “An’ not that I aim to make those wankers comfy, but ‘s more than jus’ a li’l hard to grasp. You remember how it was when you were called?” Spike shook his head. “I remember wakin’ up after Dru turned me. Traditionalist that she was, she had me go through the bloody torment of bein’ buried with a load of other pathetic gits she, Angelus, an’ Darla offed that night.”

 

Buffy was staring at her plate. He wondered if he stepped over the invisible line by mentioning Angel. He didn’t think so, but one never knew with her. Her failing temperament did not last, however, and she glanced up the next instant, as attentive as ever. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard you talk about the night you were turned,” she said, tone strained as though begging him to take her mind off an unpleasant topic. “Or before it, for that matter.”

 

They had skimmed the subject of her first great love and how she didn’t view him as the pedestal he had been for the finale of her teenage years, but something in her eyes forewarned that the issue was back to being touchy. He had no idea why, but thought it best to not pursue it.

 

“Whas’sit you wanna hear, luv?” he asked softly. “What dear ole William was like? Not bloody worth it.”

 

She shrugged. “Indulge me.”

 

The words were simple enough, but it was her eyes that sold him. Her eyes that met his tentatively over the candlelight and ached with sincerity. Perhaps it was to take her mind away from things for a while—away from the assorted mess that had been that afternoon and the broken fragments they would have to piece together come morning. It really didn’t matter. Spike was approaching an acknowledgement that forbade him from denying her anything.

 

“Start with when you were born,” she said when he didn’t speak for a minute.

 

“Easy, luv. 1854.”

 

“Making you how old when you were turned?”

 

“Twenty-six.” He smiled at the bewildered look that overwhelmed her. “I know. Don’ I wear my age well?”

 

“Were you married?”

 

That question threw him for a loop. “Was I what?”

 

“Married. If you were twenty-six when you were turned, that would mean it was 1880.” She beamed as though the computation had been something akin to advanced calculus. “I thought that people got married really young back then.”

 

Spike arched a brow. Her questions and assumptions were charming him. “An’ they don’ now? No, luv. Wasn’ married. ‘F I had been, I don’ rightly think I would’ve been with Dru for any period of time. It was more the chits who married young. There were some blokes who did, don’ get me wrong, but it was more common for men to wait. Let their wealth grow, an’ what all. Women married younger to start makin’ babies for their husbands. My mum, for instance, got hitched when she was fourteen. My pap was twenty-seven years her senior.”

 

Buffy’s eyes about boggled out of her head. “Fourteen? And…ewww. Statutory, much?”

 

The vampire rolled his eyes good-naturedly. “I was under the impression that you’d been in school for some time now.”

 

“They don’t cover stuff like this.”

 

“You mean you don’ pay attention.”

 

“Your mom was married when she was fourteen? To someone who was…ugh. That’d be like marrying Giles.” If Buffy caught the humor behind his gaze, she did not betray it. “And your parents…”

 

“My pap sent her off to a boarding school, ‘f that’s what you’re thinkin’. Some minds back then did think that fourteen was a bit young to be havin’ kids.” The relief she exhibited almost coaxed a laugh from his throat. “My mum came back, an’ as she used to tell it, they fell madly in love an’ started on the more pleasurable side of bein’ hitched.”

 

“Awww, that’s both sweet and gross. Your mother told you this?”

 

He shrugged easily. “I embellish. That story that they found me an’ Mary on their doorstep stopped bein’ cute after the first fifteen hundred times or so.”

 

“Mary?”

 

“My older sis by two years.”

 

Buffy looked at him dumbly as though the prospect of Spike having siblings was foreign to her. “What happened to her?”

 

The vampire arched a cool brow. “I din’t kill her, ‘f that’s what you mean.”

 

“No. I just—”

 

“She got married in 1869 an’ lived a full life. I prolly have grand nieces an’ nephews runnin’ around out there.” He smiled slightly, as though the thought had not occurred to him before. “She lost two kids to fever. Another to miscarriage. Broke her heart, I know, an’ we begged her to stop. The last one nearly took her along with it.”

 

“That’s so sad.”

 

He shrugged again, though this time not so easily. It had been a while. “’F she had any kids that lived, it was after I was sired. I tried to look in on her from time to time, but Dru couldn’t stand that. She din’t like the idea of me takin’ care of mum, an’ she sure as hell din’t wanna compete with Mary. I don’ know ‘f I ever got it through her thick skull that she was my sister.”

 

“What was Mary like?”

 

A fond smile crossed his face. A smile that made him look centuries younger, if she didn’t know better. “For nineteenth century England, luv? She was controversial. Got mixed up in politics an’ what all. Gambled a bit an’ never took to the set status that London had labeled her with. Did all sorts of things proper ladies never took part in. Picked on me somethin’ horrible. She was a kidder.” His eyes softened. “She never understood why she couldn’t be a feminist an’ a lady at the same time. An’ she loved me. She was…she was wild, but not how you’d think. No one could touch her. We always jested that Nicholas—the bloke who married her—never knew what hit him. Don’ see how anyone could, where she was concerned.”

 

Buffy licked her lips. She could almost see it. Two children, a boy and a girl, racing across a proper English lawn. The girl a bit older, laughing and with dark, chestnut curls and a melodic laugh. The boy, cute and proper, trying to catch up. Flushing a bit in the cheeks as his sister poked fun at him. Handing her flowers that they selected by the pond. The image was so real she could nearly taste it. Spike—William and his sister.

 

“We moved into town a few years after my pap went off,” Spike continued, blissfully unaware of her digression. “Had a family house outside Manchester but we went into debt an’ had to sell the place off. Moved to London on the last of the family money an’ I tried to get a job workin’ for the paper. That din’t last.”

 

“The paper?”

 

“Yeh. English an’ writin’ was my specialty. Wanted to make somethin’ of it. Lost the news an’ got into poetry.”

 

“Okay, you’re teasing me now, right?”

 

The look in his eyes told her full well that he was not. “Oh, sweetheart,” he said, almost mournfully. “I wish I was. I wrote stuff so horrible it’d make your ears bleed. Kept me company, though. Me an’ mum. She got sickly there toward the end. Wasn’ very old, but sixty-four was old enough back then. I took care of her. Then one night I made a colossal mistake, had that thrown in my face, stormed out in a bloody huff, ran into Dru, an’ that’s that.”

 

There was something on his face that suggested anything but finality. “Spike?”

 

He didn’t even bother to pretend nothing was wrong. “I don’ wanna get into what happened after. ‘S…I jus’ don’ wanna get into it.”

 

Fair enough. “Okay. Okay.” She waited a minute, but the look didn’t go anywhere. A haunted gaze that struck a chord deep within her; his beautiful ocean eyes now stormy. A tide of gray alongside a lifeless shore. “Spike…tell me about your dad.”

 

It took a minute, but he nodded and snapped back to her. “I don’ remember much,” he replied. “He left when I was eight.”

 

“Left?”

 

“For the States. He was shippin’ material to a port in New Orleans. We always suspected he got gunned down, ‘cause their borders were s’posed to be guarded with blockades.” Another shrug. “’E wasn’t a Southern sympathizer, but he also wasn’ too fond of America, seein’ as we had a few in our blood that had fought to keep the colonies right where they were. He figured if the South won, America was a lost cause. Wasn’ malicious or anythin’—he jus’ felt a sense of loyalty an’ justice. He was a good man. Loved Mary an’ Mum to pieces an’ always talked to me like I was a man his age rather than a li’l tyke. I remember that much, an’ my mum made sure we never forgot. We were Bennetts, firs’, foremost, an’ always.”

 

“Bennett? That’s your name?”

 

“William Bennett, an’ don’ you ever tell Rupert.” His eyes were dancing, though his tone was serious. “I don’ want him snoopin’ around, diggin’ up cold facts that I bloody well know an’ others that I could find out jus’ as happily ‘f I wanted.”

 

“I won’t tell Giles. So were you named after anyone?”

 

“My pap. He was William Sinclair Bennett—my mum was Clarissa. You know Mary.” Spike stopped abruptly, blinking and breaking away as though coming out of a long sleep. “So there, Slayer. You have the full on William the Bloody’s blotched an’ terribly borin’ family history. Care to tell me what that was all about?”

 

Buffy licked her lips and shrugged again, glancing to her food that was growing cold. “I just wanted to know,” she replied. “I wanted to know you. Angel never told me where he…” She sensed him stiffen at the mention of her former, and moved rapidly to amend. Strange how they traded offense in that regard. It was she that had been bothered a moment before. “And I wanted to know. I wanted to share that piece with you. I wanted to know something about you that no one else does.”

 

There was nothing for a long minute. He studied her curiously, not doubting, but curious. She was so sincere. She had never been this sincere, least of all with him. What had he done to earn this? Who was regarding him, and for what purpose? Buffy wasn’t his. She was eons beyond him. Light-years. A golden goddess his kind could never even hope to touch. She shouldn’t be sitting with him. Asking him about his past as though she cared. Watching him with eyes filled with compassion. It was wrong. It was so wrong.

 

He was not the sort of man that deserved the woman she was.

 

I don’ care. Don’ care.

 

Only he did. All too much.

 

“In any regard,” she continued a minute later. “Thanks for telling me. For sharing all that with me. I…it means a lot.”

 

“I think you know jus’ as well as I do that I’ve lost the ability to deny you anythin’.” Spike smiled wryly and expelled a deep breath. “Anyway, it was a long time ago. I don’ think about it much anymore.”

 

“Why not?”

 

“Doesn’ do any good to dwell in the past, sweetheart. Old philosophy.” A still beat settled through him. “It’d take somethin’ extraordinary to make that change for me. I can’t do rot about the past. What ‘ve done. What mistakes ‘ve made. I can only think to do better.” They fell quiet a minute longer. Spike reached for the wine and poured her a glass. Strange how loud the trickle of liquid could sound in a room that stung of silence.

 

“’S gonna be hard for ‘em,” the vampire said when the quiet became too thick. He didn’t want to lapse into old habit, and while that didn’t seem likely with where they were headed, he was not going to gamble his chances with this one. Not for all the blood in China. “Your new mates. Don’ rightly know what you hope to accomplish with the lot of ‘em.”

 

“Yeah. You’re right. Of course…it would be very hard.”

 

“They came here for a bloody photo-op an’ are now facin’ a potential apocalypse. Not exactly in the brochure.”

 

“You think that’s what it is? An apocalypse?”

 

Spike chuckled and shook his head. “’m not about to wager that kind of gamble, luv. Not until we know what we’re dealin’ with. ‘F you want a guess, though, here’s the best I can do: Red’s new boy went in over his head an’ somethin’ came out of the book. ‘S why we were sent to find it, more or less. ‘S why your rogue bird’s here at all.”

 

“You mean we were supposed to end up here? In Natchez?”

 

“I don’ think Natchez has anythin’ to do with it. We were s’posed to end up near the book.” He quirked his head to the side, studying her. “You know better’n anyone that things are never as they seem. Faith ran like Hell was chasin’ her to, what? This shithole in the middle of nowhere? ‘S somethin’ bigger than we thought, luv. Always bloody is.”

 

There was an exasperated sigh and Buffy leaned back, bottom lip poking out in a petulant pout. “I don’t wanna save the world again,” she complained. “It’s so been there, done that.”

 

“There’s the spirit, luv.” His eyes were fixed on her mouth. It seemed forever since they had fleetingly yielded to their mutual attraction, though it had not yet been twenty-four hours. And yet, so much had changed. The Scoobies were aware, at least on a surface level, of what was happening between them. The others—those gits from Washington—were now trapped here along with everyone else. It was the worst sort of timing that he could have wanted; his own allegedly faux conscience screaming every few seconds that creatures such as he would burn for daring to blemish such radiance. But he couldn’t go on if he didn’t try. The feel of her mouth against his the night before had broken all rules. She wanted him. Her arms had been around his neck, her body pressed intimately against his. The small murmurs and gasps that her throat surrendered haunted him; a sweet melody to keep him wishing, searching, yearning for a sign that it was all right now. That they could try to become what they were becoming without fighting it anymore.

 

But time. She needed time. And God, how he respected that. Admired it. Shared the sentiment. For as much as he wanted her, he needed time, too. Time before they cast all reservations aside and made those walls come tumbling down. For he knew. He knew when it was over, when he allowed himself to start, when he finally embraced the sensation of loving Buffy, he would never be able to stop. Not if all the world passed him by. He would be there. He would love her until time no longer mattered. Until the last sun set over the horizon, and longer.

 

Forever.

 

This was so much bigger than either of them could have known.

 

And true, Spike was usually a taker when there was something he wanted; thus the thought of asking almost made him wince. Almost but not quite.

 

“I…” He flushed as much as a vampire could and glanced shyly down when she sent him a questioning look. “May I kiss you?”

 

That was it. The room went deaf. She stared at him in utter bewilderment. He didn’t blame her. It was a strange request, coming from him. It was a strange request altogether. But he didn’t want to presume the mood and anger her. They had come too far for that.

 

“What?”

 

“I know you said you need time, pet. An’ I don’ wanna…I don’ want you to think I want more than jus’ that.” His voice was growing hoarse with even the thought, and his eyes glazed over in passion that his better angels had to battle the lust-crazed demons from breaking. “I’ve been fightin’ the urge to kiss you all bloody day. Jus’ grabbin’ you an’ kissin’ you senseless—‘till you don’t know what to do with yourself. ‘m a bloody addict—you made me an addict with one sample. Can’t hardly do anythin’ with the want of what we had last night. So…” He met her eyes again, ready for the bite of laughter or the short dismissal of rejection. Ready for anything aside the soft glow of her eyes that nearly looked a sheen of tears against the candlelight. “May I kiss you?”

 

Buffy stared at him a moment longer as though waiting for him to seal his statement. A pun to an unfunny joke at both their expenses. But he didn’t. He just sat there, looking at her as she looked at him. Waiting for his answer. Waiting to see if she would grant him an answer.

 

Then she rose to her feet slowly. Intently. Never breaking her eyes away from his. Watching him closely, as though daring him to make a move. He didn’t. He couldn’t. He couldn’t blink or twitch or frown for want of what she would do. Had he been alive, his heart would have drummed hard against his chest. But he wasn’t. He couldn’t sweat; couldn’t perspire or pant, or flush or let her know, aside the bulge in his trousers that was becoming more and more common when she was around just how deeply she affected him.

 

It was the gentility that got him. For everything in the world, he had not known softness like this. Her hands were trembling but certain. She cupped his face tenderly and searched his eyes for a long, endless minute before she brought her lips to his. And he melted into her. The taste of her sent a long, coursing moan through his system; he was lost. Absolutely lost. His hands slid up her thighs and anchored her into his lap, arms locking behind her waist. Her own wove around his throat, pressing her pelvis against his with as much sensuality as he had ever felt with such a modest touch. He whimpered her name against into her mouth—a cry of surrender, even to his ears. No more fighting. Not between them. The touch was soft and passionate, fiery but not exceeding the boundaries of propriety. They dissolved into one another like nothing at all. Smoldering, mending. Needing and finding. Another wave crashed, though the kiss was initially soft and exploratory, it gained zeal at escaping such lengthy suppression. The feel of her lips against his swiftly drained him of all fortitude, all resolve, anything that even began to construct the fabric of who he was. With her tongue stroking his in a manner that was familiar and tentative all at once, needing and soft, he swallowed her mewls and sighs and gave back as he received. There had been no reality before this touch. Nothing at all.

 

She was moving against his erection in long, womanly strokes. He wanted to send their dinner scattering and throw her back on the table. And then he didn’t; this was enough. The simple joy of just kissing and caressing her was something he never thought to have. His hands slid over her back, nimble fingers massaging her skin through her tank. Her nipples were hardened and pressed intimately against his chest; he wanted to cup her breasts, but wouldn’t without permission.

 

Though his record in asking tonight had been in his favor. He withdrew to her front, thumbs stroking the underside of her clothed globes and he broke his mouth from the temptation of hers, lips taking chart down her throat. “Can I?” he whispered, sliding his skin against hers so she would not mistake his intent.

 

“Uhhh…”

 

Hesitation made him wary. He didn’t want to pressure her into anything. Thus, he went back to kissing and petting her until he heard her rasp at his ear, “That was a yes, by the way.”

 

Spike smiled but didn’t reply. He pressed a kiss at the hollow of her throat before sliding his hands under her camisole. The warmth of her skin set his own aflame. He was going to burn simply by touching her.

 

“More,” she whimpered. His thumbs were gliding over her laced nipples—having almost more an effect on himself than on her. The knowledge that he had Buffy in his arms, allowing him to touch her this way, initiating a kiss that had turned into an all out snogging session was well beyond his mark of understanding. He had Buffy. A very warm and notably aroused Buffy. And she was here because she wanted to be. She was with him.

 

And now, she was asking for more.

 

If he got any harder, he would burst through the denim.

 

“Buff—”

 

Her own mouth was pressing feverish kisses against the pale skin at his throat. Little aching burns from where the sun had touched him. He ached in all the right places. “Just a little more,” she mewled. “Please.”

 

He wondered if that request was up for interpretation.

 

Her nails were digging into his back. It was time to stop thinking and just go with it. Spike growled into her neck and yanked her bra down, her breasts filling his hands with almost an air of triumph. He pulled at her nipples, massaged her, squeezed her, and dared to nip down and tease her needy peaks through the thin cotton of her shirt with his mouth.

 

Buffy clutched at him desperately, head flinging back. “Oh my God.”

 

The way she was grinding in his lap…he was going to embarrass himself. And rather quickly. Her perfumed center rubbed against his cock shamelessly. The request for more tickled his ears again, and he knew this had to be the last or she was going to cross into territory she wasn’t ready to travel yet.

 

A lot could change in a day. He didn’t think that had. And that was why, instead of whipping her top over her head, he pulled the collar down to sample her bare skin. If he saw her naked—even waist-up—and wanting him, he wouldn’t be able to stop. And this had to stop. Had to stop before he lost that last ounce of control. Even still, his mouth encircled a dusty nipple, suckling at her; teasing her with his teeth before moving to give the other breast the same treatment. Then, dropping kisses as he went, he made his way back to her mouth and poured the wealth of feeling that he had yet to accept, that he was still exploring into the union of their lips.

 

“Buffy,” he moaned, hands sliding up to her arms. “Buffy, we have to—”

 

“I want you.”

 

God. She was saying them. She was saying the words he yearned to hear her say. The words he had waited for, longed for in a time that he no longer knew existed. She wanted him. Christ Almighty, Buffy Summers wanted him. His self-restraint slipped another notch.

 

“Buffy.” Spike’s grasp on her forearms became forceful. “We have to…luv, we have to stop.”

 

That was all it took. Those four small words. Immediately, she pulled back, her eyes wide and imploring. A smacking bite of rejection in the middle of what she felt so desperately. It took her a few seconds to find her voice. “I…” she began. “I don’t understand. You…I thought you—”

 

“I do!” he amended hastily. Lord, how could she think otherwise? “Sweetheart, I want you so much it fuckin’ hurts.” He reached to readjust her top, running a loving hand through her hair. “So much I keep myself awake nights, thinkin’ of you. I jus’…last night you said you needed time.”

 

She was staring at him. She still didn’t understand. He coughed and looked down.

 

“This means a lot to me,” he said softly. “You mean a lot to me. Anythin’ that we do…it has to be real. Somethin’ more than a roll in the sack. I want you but I want to have you. Not jus’ that part of you. There’s more to you than jus’ that. With me an’ you, Buffy, it would have to be somethin’.”

 

There was a long pause as she studied him. “Why?”

 

He balked, hurt. That was one question he hadn’t been anticipating. “Why?” he retorted bitterly, hands coming up. “Why, she asks. Why.”

 

“No. I’m not…I’m not trying to be…I just want to know why it’s so important to you.” The Slayer looked down, absently playing with the material of his shirt. “Why I am. I don’t get it. I just…why?”

 

A breath coursed through him and he relaxed. Oh.

 

That was an entirely separate matter.

 

“Because,” he began, voice rough with arousal, “’s you an’ me, kitten. An’ anythin’ else jus’ doesn’t measure up. It’s you an’ me. God, it has to be somethin’. An’ I’m not about to ruin it by leapin’ into bed with you. I want it—Christ, how I want it. But I want you more.” He smiled warmly at the expression on her face. “I’ll wait for you, Buffy. Don’ rush ahead ‘cause that’s what you think I want.”

 

She looked at him. Just looked at him. Her eyes were soft and understanding, filled with awe and wonder. As though it was a miracle alone that a creature such as he could think, much less give her that much. For one horrible minute, he thought she might cry. But no. No. Instead, she pulled him close. Pulled him into her arms and held him against her, her head buried in his throat.

 

Spike tightened his arms around her, purring and nuzzling her hair.

 

Buffy was hugging him. Hugging him.

 

I’ll be goddamned.

 

“Thank you,” she whispered, pressing a kiss to his throat. “Thank you.”

 

Looking back, he supposed this would be how he remembered tonight. For everything come and past, there had never been such a moment of frank complacency in his life. Sitting here in the small alcove of a townhouse he would one day reflect with such poignant fondness that the notion nearly made him laugh. Sitting here with the scent of their lingering arousal tingling in the air. Holding the woman he loved in a calm, comforting hug. Inhaling her scent as he watched the fire dance on the wicks of nearby candles.

 

And that was it. That was the reason. Spike would remember this because it was the moment his life changed for him. The moment he realized everything that he had known for some time. When it stopped lingering in ambiguity and became something tangible. By God, he really did love her. It wasn’t just something that fluttered in and out of recognition. It was known. He could touch it if he liked. And while the realization sent his head spiraling, made his knees weak and his heart feel like it should start a furious cadence, there was an ever-present tranquil variable that soothed any outraged reaction. Serenity at its best. It had been inevitable from the start. Buffy was with him at every turn. Knowing now that he loved her was simply a delayed acknowledgement. He knew it. God, he knew it.

 

Her arms tightened around him. Calm. Comforting.

 

Oh yes. If nothing else for a thousand years, this was what he would remember.

 

The bliss of a warm embrace. Feeling wanted. Feeling needed. Feeling anything.

 

He had Buffy with him now. If he had to cross every step of his inferno alone, he would do it.

 

He would make this last.

 

 

 Chapter Twenty-Two

 

 

A sort of estranged sense of normality stretched across the morning dew and lingered with each pair of eyes that wafted in an endless sea of uncomfortable silence. The concession into the dining room for the expected morning routine not downsized for any palpable cause; the Millers were as friendly as ever. They sat the breakfast on the table and, as they had every morning prior, left their guests to their own devices. The table itself was too full to seat two additional patrons as it was. Thus, and in loo of everything that had happened, the Scoobies took solemn seat at their decided spots, watching the Senior Staffers with both anticipation and concern.

 

One would have thought it an improvement that Buffy and Spike remained conspicuously absent; it only served to make Josh and Sam more nervous. Donna, who was still numb from the day before and her midnight realization that—yes, Spike was a vampire—sat in silence, a dazed, far-away expression on her face.

 

Despite the comfort of presence, it was a note of relief that Giles had not opted to make the trek across town and join them for breakfast. And no one really expected to see Toby for the remainder of the trip.

 

“So,” Wesley said, initiating a step forward after wafting in a period of general discomfort. “Did everyone sleep all right?”

 

Josh and Sam paused simultaneously in mid-bite and glanced up with dual stares of incredulity.

 

“Xander and I copulated several times over the course of the evening,” Anya offered with a smile. “And again preceding this morning’s breakfast ritual. I am still basking in my post-coitus relaxation.”

 

More silence. Harris groaned lightly but offered his girlfriend a smile of reassurance.

 

It was awkward pool—sitting and staring at one another. Unsure of what territory was common territory anymore. Willow cleared her throat and flashed the others consolatory smile. “Well,” she said with a slightly nervous laugh. “That was definitely inappropriate.”

 

“All things considered,” the former Watcher countered, pleasantries dropped, “I believe we can all use a form of distraction.”

 

Sam frowned and shook his head. “I don’t see why we should avoid the issue at all,” he replied reasonably. The look he received from Josh in turn did not follow that line of thinking, but he shrugged and turned his attention back to the others. “There’s nothing to hide anymore—and if there is, I really don’t think we want to know about it. If we’re going to be here, stuck together for an indeterminable amount of time, we might as well confront the elephant in the middle of the room rather than avoiding it.”

 

The redhead smiled tentatively and nodded her encouragement.

 

“We’re good at confronting elephants,” Josh muttered. “Especially when the world no longer makes sense.”

 

“Did you catch the briefing this morning?” Donna asked with interest. “Danny asked CJ if she had any new information on us, or why we haven’t been around.”

 

“Yeah, and her ‘that really has nothing to do with foreign policy’ remark made me feel real missed.” The Deputy Chief of Staff expelled a deep sigh. “She can’t really say anything until we know what’s going on. And at this rate…”

 

“None of us know what’s going on anymore,” Xander pointed out, still flushed from his girlfriend’s frankness but definitely willing to move on. “Giles started spewing a bunch of mumbo-jumbo last night and this stuff with the book, our being trapped in Natchez by a wall of nothing where the locals don’t seem to mind and Faith doing god-knows-what. Are we even still worried with her? I am completely lost.”

 

“Well, look on the bright side,” Josh retorted. “At least you’ve had this for more than thirty-six hours.”

 

“I don’t see what the big is,” Harris shot back. “You live, you work, there are demons and the occasional apocalypse. Buffy helps. Buffy saves the world. You go back to work. It’s always been this way. It was this way two days ago, and it will be this way tomorrow. Nothing has changed. Case closed.”

 

Willow scowled at him. “Case closed for us, yeah. We come from Sunnydale where, even before we knew about demons, there was the general acceptance that something was not right. I mean, our high school had a national mortality rate.”

 

Sam’s eyes boggled. “What?”

 

“We always just thought it was normal,” the redhead continued. “I’d never lived anywhere else. And yeah, finding dead guys in lockers is not exactly what one would call ordinary circumstances, but—”

 

“There were dead guys in your lockers?” Josh demanded, eyes wide. “Man. And I thought I had it rough in high school.”

 

Donna was staring at them. “And you thought this was normal?”

 

Wesley offered a thin smile. “In the world we come from, it was.”

 

The Witch shrugged in accordance and offered another nod. “Well, as Oz pointed out, it made a lot of sense, actually.”

 

“Who’s Oz?” Josh asked, perking a brow. “Is there some law in Sunnydale that says you all have to have names that are right out of the circus?”

 

There was a pause at that—Willow was effectively tongue-tied. Her face turned red and she glanced down helplessly. The subject itself was still sore but further in the stages of healing than anyone would have thought, given her disposition when they left California. And no one seated at the breakfast table could have any doubt as to who was responsible for that turn around.

 

But still. Oz was a big part of her life. To think of him as past made her uneasy.

 

“Oz was a werewolf,” Anya said diplomatically. “He used to date Willow.”

 

“A werewolf?” Donna about choked. “A werewolf?”

 

“There are werewolves now?” Josh reiterated, equally unglued. “And the pile of things that Leo has yet to tell me continues to stack higher.”

 

Sam’s eyes were wide, almost crestfallen. “You dated a werewolf?” he asked, voice small as though such was a statement of character. “Okay. Now I’m having a complex.”

 

“Where is Fido now?” the other man asked, reaching for the biscuits. “Why aren’t you two off making a bunch of puppies somewhere?”

 

“Josh,” Donna berated, flashing Willow an apologetic glance.

 

“You do realize we’re talking about a werewolf, here. As in those things that you see at Halloween and in Michael Jackson music videos.”

 

“Oh, for crying out loud.” Sam threw his napkin into his plate and sent his colleague a long, exasperated look. “We’re talking about a lot of things that none of us expected to ever talk about. Vampires, witches, slayers, demons—is it so radical, with that list, to throw in werewolves? You keep talking about them as if they don’t exist.”

 

“Well, before I came here, they didn’t!”

 

“It is difficult to grasp,” Wesley said, holding up a hand. “And we’re sorry that we had to get you involved. The entire matter is extremely unfortunate. However, to understand, or even help us at all, you have to look beyond the given of the past thirty years and accept what is and always has been. Your government is obviously a part of it. I’ve actually heard rumors that their connection to the demonic world goes back even further than this Initiative would suggest. But the truth of the matter is, the world does go on. It hasn’t changed—you have simply been granted new information to apply to it. It is exactly the same as it was before you left. The difference being you now know something that you did not know before.”

 

“What about you guys?” Donna asked softly. “Are you still looking for Faith? I’m confused…I still don’t see why the authorities aren’t involved—”

 

“You’d understand if you ever saw Buffy in action,” Xander commented. “Slayers are strong.”

 

“But Buffy’s so small,” the blonde objected, as though it mattered anymore.

 

“Buffy’s size is what boggles your mind?” Josh asked, perking a brow. “Not the fact that we’re eating breakfast with a witch, a demon, and a guy who works at Hogwarts?”

 

“Former demon,” Harris was quick to clarify.

 

Wesley cleared his throat. “It was the Watcher’s Council,” he clarified. “And I do not work for them anymore. I am a rogue demon hunter.”

 

Donna frowned. “What’s a rogue demon?”

 

“I really must stop saying that…”

 

“The Faith thing is complicated now,” Willow began, drawing everyone’s attention back home. “We came here thinking she was the reason we’re here. We didn’t plan it; it just sort’ve happened. She was our problem, so we were gonna fix it. No big. Now Giles thinks that Faith is just what brought us here—that we’re here for something else. Or maybe Faith was brought here for something else and we just ended up getting in the way. It’s complicated.”

 

“And he thinks all can be solved by flipping through that book?” Josh asked.

 

Xander smiled wryly. “You’d be surprised.”

 

“Really, at this point, I don’t think I would be.”

 

Sam’s eyes went wide and he turned to Willow suddenly. More and more, their conversations were becoming verbal boxing matches with the individual players trading off as moderators. “Where is Buffy?” he asked, voice overly loud. “Is she helping Giles, or…?”

 

“No.” The redhead frowned. “She and Spike made an early night of it, I thought. She was wiped and Spike wanted to get her in bed.”

 

Xander gaped at her. “Willow!”

 

“To sleep!” she protested, but it was to no avail. The table had taken the innuendo and run with it.

 

“Yeah, I’ll bet he did,” Josh agreed.

 

“She could do worse,” Anya added reasonably. “I know that my sexual prowess gained momentum after a hundred years or so. And vampires have amazing stamina. I’m sure Buffy will not be displeased in the orgasms Spike can give her.”

 

“Ahn, can we please not use the words ‘Buffy’, ‘Spike’, and ‘orgasms’ in the same sentence?”

 

Josh turned to Sam with a small, bemused grin. “You know that sticky-wicket that we were looking at?”

 

“If you’re thinking what I think you’re thinking, no. The Republican Leadership would flip.”

 

“When do they not?”

 

Donna shook her head and looked back to Willow. “I don’t understand the hostility about Buffy and Spike,” she said. “I know it has to do with his being a vampire, but I don’t get why that is worse than being a demon or a witch. You said your old boyfriend is a werewolf. I just don’t understand why Spike’s the odd man out.”

 

The redhead opened her mouth to reply, but Xander leapt in. A madman to intercept a canon before it exploded across the table.

 

“He’s not a man,” he said adamantly. “At all. Vampires aren’t human. Willow’s human. She’s a witch, but she’s human. Same with Oz. And Anya. She’s not a demon anymore. Spike isn’t human. He’s dead. He has no soul.”

 

Josh cocked a brow. “So tell us how you really feel.”

 

Donna still looked confused, and with good reason. She frowned and gestured broadly, digging further into a tangle that no one was yet prepared to unwind. “So…if Spike were to become human, you wouldn’t have a problem with him?”

 

“Vampires can’t become human.”

 

“But if he did?”

 

There was a considerable silence at that. Willow arched her brows and turned to her friend curiously. Anya was also watching with some interest. After all, if he denounced the Slayer’s right in that regard—should there be an interest, and all had pretty much agreed there was—then he would be in serious conflict with his own moral standings.

 

“I don’t know,” Xander replied at last, voice somewhat calmer. “I…my problem with Spike might be…” He trailed off numbly—unsure how to finish. If there was a way to finish. Another silence settled on the room; he appeared genuinely befuddled at this. Unnerved by the weight of his own prejudice, and had nothing more to say on the matter.

 

Donna glanced back the Witch, who nodded hurriedly. It seemed continuously up to them to drag everyone out of the trench when it seemed they were getting ready to bury themselves alive. “So,” she said brightly. “A witch, huh?”

 

Willow pursed her lips and paled a bit, but offered a quiet nod and smiled. “Yep. That’s what they tell me.”

 

The topic was well placed and succeeded in drawing everyone back to the more tangible matters at hand. And true, while the redhead didn’t entirely enjoy being the center of attention, she was getting better at mastering the art of not caring all too much.

 

“You do spells, huh?” Josh said, acknowledging without words that the question was inane but similarly moving to a dismissal of apathy. “That’s…weird.”

 

The Witch smiled faintly. At least he was trying. “Yeah,” she replied. “Spellcasting typically falls under the guidelines.”

 

“I always thought that witchcraft was a religion, not a practice,” he observed, visibly straining for conversation, even if it was ultimately appreciated. “Couple girls back in school were into that stuff. They never did anything involving spells.”

 

Donna frowned. “How do you know?”

 

“Too many bake sales. There was no way they had time to actually do spells.”

 

“Maybe the spells were to do the bake sales.”

 

“No,” Willow intervened, “he’s right. Most of the ‘witches’ that you meet aren’t real witches, so to speak. Like my Wicca group back at UC Sunnydale is kind of the same way. There are people who follow the religion, and there are people who practice it.” She shrugged. “I practice it.”

 

The blonde woman was studying her with intrigue. “Is it hard? The kind of witchcraft that you practice?”

 

Willow smiled in turn. “Well, you know that gray area between brain surgery and nuclear physics?”

 

“So yes.”

 

“Donna,” Josh said warningly.

 

“It takes patience, resolve, and control.” The Witch paused and licked her lips, casting her friends a long, pointed look. “Three things that I’m still working on. It can be disheartening. I mean, I’ve been in the practice for almost three years now and I still have trouble with a lot of my spells.”

 

Harris grinned in spite of himself. “That’s putting it mildly, Will.”

 

“Okay, so my magic goes wonky.”

 

“She cast a spell that made Xander a demon magnet,” Anya interjected.

 

Sam glanced at Willow askance. “Why would you do that?” he asked, almost fearfully. As though her being in possession of such power made it all the easier for her to seek revenge on those that wronged her.

 

“I didn’t mean to,” she argued. “It was after Oz left. I was hurting and I wanted the hurt to stop, s-so I cast a spell that my will be done. A-and it worked. Only the hurt didn’t go away—I accidentally made Giles blind, Xander a demon magnet…and Buffy and Spike were engaged for about two hours.”

 

“I don’t think that last one is too far off the mark,” Wesley muttered.

 

“That’s not all,” the former demon argued. “Willow debated tampering with dark magic when she found Oz and Veruca naked together.”

 

The Witch’s head dropped into her waiting hands. “Thanks, Anya.”

 

“Dark magic?” Donna echoed, eyes wide. “As in—”

 

“Hey, I was going through something.”

 

“Who’s Veruca?” Sam asked.

 

“Another testament as to why the people of California have names that sound like new variations of illegal drugs,” Josh suggested, wincing as Donna elbowed him.

 

Willow glanced to Xander and shook her head. Her friend very palpably didn’t know what to make of that shake, and thus interpreted it as means of continuation because the matter was still too touchy for her.

 

“She was a werewolf, too,” he explained. “She and Oz…”

 

“So you cast evil black magic on your boyfriend because he cheated on you?” Josh demanded before turning to pat Sam’s shoulder. “Watch out, buddy.”

 

“I didn’t actually do it!” the redhead objected.

 

Donna shrugged. “I would have. You have no idea how many times I wanted to curse my ex-boyfriend.”

 

The Deputy Chief of Staff’s eyes twinkled. “Was this before or after you left me to go back to him?”

 

“Shut up.”

 

“What’s that?” Wesley asked.

 

“Nothing. It’s a thing with them,” Sam replied, turning back to Willow. “How long ago was this?”

 

She licked her lips. “He left about…I don’t know…we had so many things happen at once. But I cast the Will Be Done spell not too long ago. It was right before Faith came out of her coma and swapped bodies with Buffy. I went to his room and he had sent for his things…he left Sunnydale to try to find a cure for his wolfiness. I don’t know…”

 

“So…” The Deputy Communications Director frowned. “You two are still together?”

 

“No. I don’t know where he is.” She glanced down. “I don’t know if he’s ever coming back. And…I just don’t know.”

 

“Is there any way you could teach me some spells?” Donna asked, drawing her attention away from the past and Oz and to an area of growing bemusement. The woman appeared genuinely enthralled. Josh appeared horrified. “Like how to make coffee or type memos or fight inflation?”

 

Sam cracked a grin at that. Josh’s horror turned into a scowl. “Yeah,” the latter said, taking a sip of his cooling coffee. “Teach Donna how to wield magic. That doesn’t spell disaster in any way.”

 

She frowned. “You’re such a downer.”

 

“Well, up until recently, you were freaking out about a ghost cat!”

 

“Yes, and under the circumstances, I believe I was not wrong to raise the issue as a State concern.”

 

“You’re impossible,” he complained good-naturedly.

 

“Impervious,” she corrected. “And I’m not wrong. Look at what has happened. Firstly, we now are aware that the paranormal exists. Secondly, we’re stuck because of aforementioned paranormal forces. Thirdly, Sam has potentially initiated the apocalypse.”

 

“Hey!” the accused interjected.

 

“It’s just ‘an’ apocalypse,” Xander corrected. “We’ve faced too many apocalypses to give any one too much credit. Buffy thwarts them.”

 

“Then they’re not really apocalypses,” the blonde pointed out.

 

“A-and we don’t even know what Sam did,” Willow said. “It might be nothing.” The Scoobies looked at her dumbly. She flushed and glanced down. “Okay, so it’s probably a very big something, but that doesn’t necessarily mean apocalypse.”

 

“Now all we need is Donna trying to make magic coffee and accidentally sending nukes to North Korea,” Josh retorted with a grin.

 

“In any regard, we should probably head over and see if Rupert has found anything,” Wesley said, standing diplomatically. “I trust him to phone us, of course, but we cannot be increasing the productivity by sitting around and squabbling about things. I suggest we adjourn to the Eola Hotel before deciding on a mode of operation.”

 

Willow nodded. “Agreed. But someone should go get Buffy and Spike.”

 

“Why Spike?” Anya asked. “He can’t go anywhere. It’s sunny.”

 

“Well, we should go get Buffy.”

 

A silence fell over the table. No one truly wanted to approach the townhouse. While the chances were good that they wouldn’t find anything incriminating, the very thought that they might was enough to set some people round the bend. And true, the Senior Staffers didn’t really know why such a match would not be fortuitous, they thought it best to avoid the matter altogether.

 

Finally, Xander drew in a breath. “I’ll go.”

 

The redhead’s eyes went wide. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. Maybe I—”

 

“Don’t worry. I’ll act like a sane person.” He smiled thinly. “She’s Buffy. And yeah, while I don’t approve of much of anything she’s done lately, I’m gonna try to remember that my not liking Angel didn’t help one bit in the ‘her dating him’ department.”

 

“Angel?” Josh asked. “A guy named Angel?”

 

“A guy vampire named Angel.”

 

“Man, I’d’ve hated to be him on the playground in the third grade.”

 

Donna quirked her head. “Angel is a vampire, too?”

 

“And an entirely different story that Wes can explain while I head into the line of Don’t Wanna Go There.” He stood and made his way to the exit just as swiftly. “Be back in a sec.”

 

He was gone. And all eyes fell on the former Watcher, even those that already knew the tale.

 

A sigh escaped his lips. “Well,” he began, “odd as it sounds, Angel’s relationship with Buffy started in 1898 with the body of a murdered virgin and the curse of her gypsy clan…”

 

Josh glanced to Donna. “We’re gonna be here for a while,” he said.

 

*~*~*

 

Every breath he took lingered with the sweet scent of vanilla. He didn’t need to breathe, of course, and more often than not, he didn’t know why he did. A habit that refused to die with his body. One habit of many. It was a passing whimsy—he hardly even noticed when he did it anymore. Except sometimes, she would get a funny look on her face as though contemplating that very thought. She would quirk her head at him for a minute, open her mouth with words he could taste ready on her tongue, then decide against it and move on. He didn’t know when he had started noticing that; now, like his breathing, it seemed habit.

 

Spike smiled, basking in the feel of this. It took very little for the night to return to him. The night and all the glorious things that had come with it. The hint of raspberry tainted the air from where the candles had burned to a shallow end. They had enjoyed the dessert together, seemingly hours after they withdrew from the simplicity of a warm embrace.

 

She was all around him. Even still. Now. They had retreated into the den god-knows-when and discovered that one of the older television stations was running a Monty Python marathon, followed by shorts of Buster Keaton and Charlie Chaplin. It would have been easy for Buffy to impose space between them; there was another moderately comfortable chair on the other side of the room. But at her suggestion, she had led him to the sofa-bed he had used not too long before and curled up behind him. Her head resting at his chest, her arm wrapped around his middle. Her body quivering with chuckles whenever John Cleese and Terry Gilliam spoke. She began to doze off during Chaplin’s ‘The Kid,’ and awoke toward the end with a sigh of resignation before moving to depart for her own room.

 

“No,” he had whispered urgently, pressing a kiss against her cheek, then again to the pulse of her neck. “Stay here.”

 

“I—”

 

“Please, Buffy. Stay with me.”

 

It was obvious she hadn’t wanted to move in the first place. With their relationship undefined, though, and the barrier set by both, she didn’t know what was and wasn’t permissible until they decided to cast reservations aside. She had smiled at him gratefully and brushed her lips against his cheek in turn, then settled and dozed back to sleep.

 

Which was why he was waking with his golden goddess in his arms. Sleeping on the sofa couldn’t have been as comfortable as she was making it look. Her head was at his chest still; an arm still draped around his middle. His own had wound around her waist and itched up the hem of her shirt so he could feel the warmth of her skin. The television was no longer on, which he found odd as he had no memory of turning it off. It didn’t matter, though. Nothing mattered. He had Buffy in his arms. Nothing could ever matter if not for that.

 

And…was that Xander coming around the back?

 

Spike’s eyes went wide, body clenching and arms around his girl tightening inexplicably. If the boy walked in and saw the Slayer cuddled in his arms, words were going to fly and none of them would be pretty.

 

He had to get her to the back. And fast.

 

The vampire drew in a deep breath and started to rise, only to be forced back by a sleepy murmur and a tightening of arms around his middle. Buffy crooned a bit and rubbed her cheek against him kittenishly, flexing to find a comfortable position and sighing with contentment before she rested again. That was all it took. Spike’s urgency deflated, and he reclined once more.

 

If Xander wanted to throw a fit, he wouldn’t stop him.

 

Well, not unless he started yelling and disturbed Buffy’s slumber. The vampire had no earthly idea when last the Slayer obtained a decent night’s rest, and they had stayed up fairly late watching movies. She deserved this.

 

There was a light rasping at the door. “Hello?”

 

Spike licked his lips. Neither he nor Buffy had a habit of locking the doors. They did it when they remembered to, but she was strong enough to fend off anyone who fancied breaking in. And unless they wielded a wooden stake or were hell-bent on setting people on fire, there wasn’t much damage an intruder could inflict upon him.

 

Meaning, in Laymen’s terms, that nothing prevented Xander from walking right on in.

 

Which was exactly what he did.

 

“Hey, Spi—oh.” He stopped dead in the doorway. The vampire winced a bit at the light, but the veranda was at such an angle that the sun had no chance of seeping through the entrance. “I…uhhh…what the hell?”

 

“Pipe down, White Bread,” the Cockney retorted. “Slayer’s sleepin’.”

 

“Yeah…doesn’t she have her own bed?”

 

“Fell asleep watchin’ flicks, s’all.” He shrugged as best he could without disturbing her. “Din’t wanna bother her. ‘Sides, after yesterday, was right worn out, myself. Anyway, ‘f she wants to have at me later for actin’ ‘indecent’ or what all, that’ll be her fare. Don’cha think?”

 

Xander didn’t say anything. His eyes were taking in the coziness of the scene. He wet his lips and nodded, visibly fighting to keep himself from making an outburst. It was surprising in that sense; Spike would have figured him to cast all protocol aside and go in for the kill. He didn’t. He just nodded.

 

Spike gestured broadly with his free hand. “’S there a reason why you’re here?”

 

A pause. Harris blinked dumbly and shook his head. “Oh, right. Ummm, we’re all heading to the Eola to see if there’s been any progress on the book or what the hell’s going on.”

 

The vampire arched a cool brow. “Don’ you think Rupert’d call ‘f there was?”

 

“Yeah, well, it’s better to be doing something rather than just waiting.” Xander shrugged. “Ummm. When Buffy wakes up, let her know where we are. ‘Kay?”

 

Spike couldn’t believe his ears. “Sure.”

 

“Right. Thanks.”

 

That was it. He turned and left the next minute, shutting the door behind him.

 

The vampire sat dumbfounded for endless seconds. “Bloody bizarre that was,” he muttered, running a hand through the Slayer’s hair.

 

At first, he thought it was that subtle movement that jarred her awake. She yawned softly against him and stretched with a low moan before sitting up. When he saw her eyes, he banished all worries of having been the cause of her disturbance. It was obvious that she had been alert for some time.

 

Which perplexed him even more. As a vampire, he was generally attuned to these things.

 

“Yeah,” she said, twisting to gaze out the window before looking back at him with a small smile. “I figured he’d start screaming curses.”

 

“Mornin’, sweetheart.”

 

“Good morning.” She preened against him and released a sigh of content. He wondered fleetingly if he was still asleep and the real morning had yet to begin. “You’re all cuddly.”

 

The notion should have offended him. Really, it should have. The Big Bad…cuddly? No sir, not this Big Bad. No way. No how. Huh uh. And yet, that sentiment didn’t match the flood of warmth that kissed his insides. He couldn’t find it within himself to be offended when the words made him so bloody happy. Sodding nancy-boy ponce. “Cuddly, am I?”

 

“Mhmm. I feel like I’ve been sleeping for two days.” She yawned in direct contradiction, and he found it adorable. “Which is strange, because this couch isn’t that comfy. Did you sleep all right?”

 

“Never better.”

 

“I wasn’t crowding you at all?”

 

He smiled. “’ve never been more comfortable in my life, pet. ‘Sides, ‘m the one who asked you to stay.”

 

“Ask me again, ‘cause I don’t wanna get up.” She defiantly laid her head upon his chest once more. “We’ve done a bajillion sweeps of this town. If Giles finds something, he finds something. He’s just gonna get cranky and send us away.”

 

Spike’s smile turned devious and he ran his tongue over his teeth in a manner that had her skin blushing prettily the next second. “Wanna play hooky?”

 

“You’re a bad influence.”

 

“The baddest, baby.”

 

“And, much as I’d like to, we should get ready and go before Pod Xander gets beaten up by Real Xander.”

 

He barked a laugh at that, making no move to let her up. “How long’ve you been awake, sweetling?”

 

“About twenty minutes longer than you.”

 

He scowled. “How the bloody hell did I not know this? Vamp senses my—”

 

Buffy shrugged with a small, secretive small. “What can I say? Feminine ingenuity.” Then, to top it all off, she leaned up and brushed a kiss across his lips. Small and familiar; like old lovers waking up after many mornings just like this.

 

They froze at the same moment, seemingly recognizing the significance on the same wave level. And Spike couldn’t help himself. Emotion stormed his eyes and seized his reason.

 

She was blushing again; looking anywhere but him. “I…”

 

“Buffy,” he gasped, fisting her golden locks and pulling her mouth to his. This touch wasn’t nearly as domestic; his tongue tackled hers, tasting her to the fullest. God, there was never enough of this. Never enough. He had never felt such ardent passion for someone in the course of his existence. Not anyone. It poured into every touch they shared, every caress, and had them gasping for air within seconds.

 

“You kissed me,” she said obviously, regaining some ground.

 

“Well, you kissed me first.” He nuzzled her hair. “Thought kissin’ was all right now.”

 

“It is. Definitely is. It’s just…I have morning breath.”

 

Spike smothered a grin. She was adorable. “Don’ care,” came the answering murmur before he pulled her down for another long kiss. “Bloody perfect the way you are.”

 

“Why do vampires not have morning breath?”

 

His grin softened and he ran a hand across her cheek. “Don’ have breath, don’ have its variations. Simple as that.”

 

“You guys have it too easy.”

 

“Yeh. Easy’s the word. Can’t go out in daylight, can’t go in some place unless invited firs’. Have to put up with the rot of myth an’ the like by hack writers an’ Hollywood producers.” He smirked. “Have to put up with the Slayer.”

 

“Yeah. This Slayer’s really scary where you’re concerned.”

 

“Bloody push-over,” he agreed.

 

“Hey!”

 

“An’ she’s completely hot for me.”

 

Buffy rolled her eyes as her blush deepened. “Get bent.”

 

“Bend you over somethin’ one of these days.”

 

“In your dreams.”

 

He winked. “Only the best ones, luv.”

 

“We better get ready.”

 

“Can’t go anywhere.” Spike pointed to the ceiling. “Sun’s out.”

 

Buffy’s face fell a little at that. He shared her sentiment. There was very little they had done separately since arriving in Natchez. Since having that fight the first night. And, truth be told, he wasn’t at all wild about the notion of sending her out with her very biased friends when he couldn’t be there to counter accusations. Not that her resolve wasn’t every bit as strong as his was; he just didn’t care what they thought. She did. She cared a lot, and the thought that the Scoobies could potentially get in the way of whatever was happening between them burned him to no end. “Oh, right,” she said at last, crawling to her feet slowly. “Okay, well…”

 

“’ll make you breakfast ‘f you wanna shower.”

 

She stared at him. “You will?”

 

Spike shrugged. “Sure. Think we have pancake mix. An’ maybe some leftovers from last night.”

 

“You’re gonna cook for me?”

 

“What’d I jus’ say?”

 

Buffy shook her head. “Well, now I know the world is ending.”

 

“How’s that?”

 

“I’ve found a man who will cook for me and doesn’t mind my morning breath.”

 

“You forgot ‘dead sexy,’ ‘world’s best kisser,’ an’ ‘delectably shaggable.’”

 

“Did I mention he has an ego the size of South America?”

 

Spike shrugged, unable to stop grinning. “Oi. That’s nothin’ compared to the size of his—”

 

“I’m showering now.”

 

“An’ that image will give me somethin’ to think about when I’m showerin’.” He winked again as her flush deepened even more, if such was possible. This was a side of the Slayer that no one had seen before. No one. It had to be. And it was all his.

 

“Toddle off, now,” he said a minute later after his teasing pretense dropped, nearing to brush her forehead with a kiss. “’m gonna start on your pancakes.”

 

Buffy paused and licked her lips as though to say something, but decided against it the next minute. Instead, she offered a quick nod and disappeared into the back toward her room without another word.

 

Spike smiled to the empty den and cast a hand through his hair.

 

These past two days had been the best of his life. The absolute best. And despite all his happiness, he was terrified. They were in at the start of a potential apocalypse. There was no telling what that meant. What would happen when the sunny skies were overwhelmed with clouds once more.

 

He wouldn’t lose this without a fight.

 

And if any of the wretched Powers That Be tried to take her away, he would sure as hell give them one.

Chapter Twenty-Three

 

 

A sigh of exasperation filled the air as Giles slammed the phone onto the hook, wearily eying the group that had toddled through the front of the Eola Hotel. There was a certain amount of illogical logic in his frustration; he had been trying to reach them for ten minutes and, despite the timeliness of arrival, it was rather annoying that they had left without waiting for a call of confirmation.

 

He was relieved, though, to see Buffy without Spike persistently following at the heel. While he had long ago vowed to stay out of his Slayer’s personal life and decisions, it was more than disconcerting to see her so carelessly throw aside protocol and leap into a relationship with another vampire. A soulless one at that. A vampire that was not only a vampire, but also one that had—on numerous occasions—attempted to end all their lives. A vampire that until recently set out on a campaign to discover what was wrong with his spontaneous handicap and then fix it. Giles wouldn’t pretend to know all the particulars; he also wouldn’t delude himself into a false sense of complacency. If Buffy was allowing herself to become emotionally entangled, he suspected that there had to be at least some faith that she had sat down and weighed out the possible range of consequences.

 

The one slice of small comfort he conceded was that they were away from Sunnydale—away from home—and that people often did strange things without the echo of outcome to answer them while on vacation. And granted, while trying to find Faith and potentially facing an apocalypse was far from a vacation, he knew it was the closest thing she had had for some time.

 

“Giles,” Willow said in greeting, snapping him from his reverie. “You look like your favorite puppy died.”

 

“We didn’t wanna bother you,” Xander continued with an easy shrug, “but we’re getting on the extreme side of restless with the massive doing of nothing back at the place.”

 

Sam chimed in helpfully. “We wanted to know if you needed help with the thing.”

 

“Or a break,” Donna suggested. “Or…” She nudged her boss.

 

Josh blinked at her. “Don’t look at me,” he said. “I was just following everyone else.”

 

“Xander declined my invitation to spend the day obtaining mutual orgasms,” Anya said with a faux-cheery smile. “So here I am.”

 

“We’re all here to help,” Wesley added. “With anything you need.”

 

There was a pause. Giles removed his glasses and shot Buffy a pointed look, asking for her input without words. When the Slayer realized it was her turn to offer her reason for being present, she shrugged and offered a half-smile. “I’m here because I figured it was time we…you know…started contributing. Now that the full is out and about, no more tiptoeing around issues is required. That and it’s sort’ve my job.”

 

“A job that you’ve been neglecting for nearly three days,” Harris pointed out.

 

She frowned. “Hey. That first night, yes, Will, Donna and I partied at the diner. Then I got distracted.”

 

“I’ll say.”

 

Her eyes narrowed even further. “Ummm, the phantom car heading right to St. Francisville? Being trapped in the Addams’ house? The book? Any of that ring a bell?”

 

The elder Watcher cleared his throat and stepped in before his children threw down in an all-out screaming match. “Speaking of which. I believe I have discovered what occurred that night that made Faith appear to be in two different places at once.” He tossed a hesitant gaze to Sam, who smiled a weak smile of reassurance before Willow reached back and took his hand almost out of instinct. “It’s actually very simple and I am therefore appalled that I did not think of it before.” He nodded at Buffy. “Your pull with Faith is not unlike that of a vampire’s. Not unlike, but different enough that you do not realize it. While there has never been a case of two slayers before you, the Council seemingly has an answer for everything, even circumstances as unprecedented as this.”

 

She stared at him blankly. “Your point?”

 

“What you saw was an image of what your senses are supposed to target. It was a double, Buffy. A form of astral-projection—like Billy, when Sunnydale was literally a living nightmare.” He smiled grimly. “Furthermore, since you failed to visually confirm that Faith was in the vehicle you and Spike followed, I have reason to believe that the projection itself was not at Faith’s hand at all.”

 

“Why not?” Josh asked, as though he knew what was being said.

 

“Because the double was based on a feeling—a sixth sense. If it was Faith, there would be no ambiguity as to her appearance. She knows well what she looks like, therefore planting the image is hardly difficult.” The elder Watcher expelled a deep breath. “Whatever used her to get you to St. Francisville was working with minimal persuasion. Its forces were restricted then.”

 

“Of course,” Wesley murmured in stilled bewilderment. “Whatever drove Faith here must have known that we would follow; or that there would be people who followed with intimate knowledge of her patterns. Or—”

 

Josh held up a hand. “You’re saying this Faith chick came here for a reason?”

 

“I’m saying she was driven to Natchez by forces outside her control,” Giles replied. “Something wanted her here.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Because we were coming,” Willow answered glumly, her shoulders slumping with dreary realization. “Maybe even you. Who knows? It got us here, didn’t it?”

 

“Why would we all need to be in Natchez?” Donna asked, eyes shadowed with concern. “I don’t understand…why are we a factor at all.”

 

“For this.” Giles held up the book. “Our mysterious guide was operating on restricted powers until…” He cleared his throat and nodded at Sam. “Until the book was read from.”

 

Josh’s brows arched. “You’re saying that Sam reading some old book gave a big nothing some umph?”

 

“I have reason to believe that, yes.”

 

“And he just happened to read the exact passage needed for this…whatever…to trap us in this god-forsaken pissant town?”

 

A thin smile spread across the elder Watcher’s lips. “Well,” he said, “I have yet to deduce whether it was the recitation of a specific passage or simply by reading the words that were on the page…any page. Whatever it was, though, has restored the…the…”

 

“Thing,” Donna, Josh, and Sam provided simultaneously.

 

Xander and Willow traded a bemused glance.

 

“Ummm, quite. It has restored this…thing…to at least an amount of power considerable enough to keep us grounded.” Giles replaced his glasses. “There is more about this book that I need to divulge before any other action is put into motion. Namely, the proprietor, its powers, and a reasonable assumption on what it hopes to accomplish.”

 

Sam licked his lips nervously. “Wh-what’s that going to do?”

 

“Give us ideas on how to stop it,” came the soft reply. Buffy had a familiar, determined look about her that the Scoobies were collectively relieved to see. She glanced up a minute later, eyes finding Giles’s with a nod of acknowledgement. “All right. So we’re here. You thinking research party, patrol party, or a mixture of both?”

 

“Actually, I…” A flustered look overcame him for brief seconds; he shook it off just as quickly and offered a nod. “Quite. Ummm, there are some terms and references that Willow can help with. Wesley and Anya can stay with me to research the text.” He turned to the former demon before she could protest. “I need your knowledge with some of the higher beings that are mentioned. Their powers and the like. Whatever you know, I need to know. All right?”

 

“What about us?” Donna asked, raising her hand. “I want to help.”

 

Willow shrugged. “You wanna research terms with me?”

 

She nodded, oddly genuine. “Sounds like fun.”

 

“Only you would find that fun,” Josh remarked.

 

“It might be beneficial,” Giles continued, unhampered. He flashed a quick glance to the Deputy Chief of Staff. “If you would call your supervisor—the one who told you of the Initiative—”

 

“Leo,” Josh confirmed with a nod.

 

“Yes. Whatever he can tell us—anything he can tell us—”

 

“There is reason to believe that Leo is the only person in the West Wing that knows about it,” Sam said. “And even so, he is generally not in the habit of handing over classified evidence just because we might have a situation.”

 

Xander blinked at him. “Why not?”

 

“It doesn’t work that way.”

 

Buffy shrugged. “Tell him that I’m the Slayer, and in order for me to do my job, I need all the information on what I’m fighting that I can get.”

 

Josh arched a brow. “What makes you think that that will be effective?”

 

“Well, if he knows diddly about demons, he should know about me. And if he doesn’t know about me, he needs to read up.” The Slayer smiled sweetly. “When it comes to dealing with all things otherworldly, I’m the one you go to. ‘Kay?”

 

“Look, lady. If the government—”

 

“Don’t give me shit about the government. There’s been an apocalypse every year since I came to Sunnydale, and the government did nothing to stop them. If I hadn’t been there, you wouldn’t be here.”

 

Giles offered a dry smile at that. “She’s right, you know.”

 

“We’re going to need every resource we can manage,” Wesley said. “You’re going to have to learn to trust us if you want to walk away from this unscathed.”

 

There was a brief silence. Sam and Josh exchanged a long look. “We’ll call,” the former said, nodding a little with a small smile. “What is Toby doing?”

 

“I believe he spent a good portion of the night talking to your Press Secretary,” Giles retorted. “He got rather pissed then decided to highlight in every extreme why he always gets the blunt of the bad assignments. After he was through with me, he rang her up, and I didn’t see him for the rest of the evening.”

 

“No wonder she was pissy in her briefing,” Donna muttered.

 

The elder Watcher shook his head. “This is all beside the point.” He pivoted to Buffy. “You and Xander should do as much surveying of the town as possible before the sun goes down,” he said. “I believe you two are the only ones left without something to do, so there you have it. We need to know what, if anything, has changed since yesterday aside from the invisible barrier…the sooner, the better.”

 

“Before the sun goes down?”

 

He pursed his lips, hesitation embedded in his eyes; reluctance in league with comprehension. “While we do not know what is going to happen, or what may already be in motion, I would request that you do your patrolling with Spike, just to further ensure your safety.”

 

“Why?” Xander intervened. “It’s not like he can hit anything. And what makes you think that he’d stop Buffy from getting hurt?”

 

The Slayer looked at him with interest. It seemed Pod Xander was momentarily in recession.

 

“He would,” Donna argued. “He cares about her.”

 

“He—”

 

“Why can’t he hurt anything?” Josh asked. “The guy’s a vampire. Aren’t vampires strong, or is that another one of Hollywood’s embellishments?”

 

Willow smiled. “No. Vampires are of the massively strong. Definitely. It’s just that you—or the Initiative—put a chip in his head. He’s all with the passive-aggression now, or else he gets a major ouchie.”

 

Sam smothered a smile.

 

“He can’t hurt anything,” Anya concluded.

 

“You mean he can’t hurt humans.”

 

The lobby stilled effectively. All eyes landed on Josh.

 

“What?” Buffy asked, voice trembling. “He can—”

 

“I’m pretty sure that Leo said the neurological implants are only applicable to humans.” The Deputy Chief of Staff shrugged. “I guess we don’t much care if demons are taking out other demons.”

 

“Spike can hit…” The Slayer licked her lips; eyes alight in a fashion no one had seen before. As though she was suddenly filled to the brim with excitement and would burst if she couldn’t let it out. “He can…oh, this is gonna make him so—” She caught herself, realizing that the others didn’t much care if the resident vampire was in the best of spirits. She did, though, and that was all that mattered. Still, with their budding relationship soaring with disapproval, perhaps it wasn’t best to bring attention to the fact that they were getting cozier by the minute. Thus, she shrugged and finished on a note of feigned indifference, “He’ll be interested to know that.”

 

“Fantastic,” Giles murmured, shaking the thought away before it could settle. “Well, if that’s the end of it, I say we disperse. Willow and Donna, you will need a list of resources that I need you to track down. I would advise you head to the library, if you can find out where it is located. See if you can find any information on the Internet. Wesley, Anya, and myself will remain here to look through the books. Sam, Josh…you might like to confer with Toby once your call has been made. Buffy…”

 

“Xander and I hit daytime patrol. Gotcha.”

 

Her casual acceptance persuaded a smile to the elder Watcher’s face. And though he knew the words were wasted on her, he thought to add them just the same. “Be careful.”

 

True to form, the Slayer shrugged and offered a grin. “Hey,” she argued. “It’s me.”

 

“And for that, I believe I have cause to worry.”

 

She smirked but nodded. The most capable of them all, and truer words had never sounded.

 

*~*~*

 

Had Xander not taken immediate advantage of their assigned time together to attack her personal relationship with Spike and the choices she had made the minute they stepped into an area of solitude—at least away from the others—she would have been concerned. From the casual acceptance of the morning to the slightly snippy exchange inside, he was acting the part of someone who was trying to honor her decisions with disavowal but an acknowledgment that it was none of his business. He hated vampires, always had, and never made a light case of it. Thus his behavior up until now had been rather remarkable. Oh, there had been a slip-up here or there, but on a general whole, he was an entirely different person with different views. Thus, naturally, it raised some general questions and apprehension for his well-being. She thought perhaps he had suffered a minor heat stroke and was relying on selective alternatives.

 

Fortunate for her, he gave her nothing to worry about.

 

“Just out of curiosity,” he said not two minutes after they were alone. Natchez was a variably larger town than Sunnydale, and while she had no qualms about walking anywhere, getting to the cemetery from mid-downtown wasn’t exactly going to be easy. Giles was correct in his assumption if he wanted them back before sundown. “When did you forget that Spike is a vampire?”

 

The Slayer groaned and rolled her eyes, holding up a hand. “Don’t. Just don’t.”

 

“No, I wanna know. After all, if you two are gonna be so close, I’d like a couple reasons why you don’t think he’s a reasonable threat anymore.”

 

“It’s complicated, Xander.”

 

“How so?”

 

“I don’t wanna talk about this.”

 

He shrugged. “Sorry if I can’t see it the way you do. Less than a month ago, you hated the guy with a passion and were looking for any reason to reduce him to tiny Spike bits.”

 

Buffy lulled her head heavenward. “This is what happens,” she informed the sky. “I tell him I don’t wanna talk about this, so naturally, we talk about it.”

 

“I don’t see how you could’ve gone from being so—”

 

“That was then, Xander. Drop it.”

 

“I—”

 

The blonde groaned again and stomped her foot, pivoting to face her friend with more than a note of exasperation. “Look, there’s no reason for him to be here. Okay? He came here as a favor to me. More over, he had the opportunity to take advantage of my body when Faith was in control. He didn’t. And you know what, he’s the only one that’s been here for me since we arrived. So bite me.”

 

Xander stared at her. “And you wonder why we’re worried.”

 

“I don’t—”

 

“You shut yourself up with him, Buff. Kinda hard to be there for you if the only one you let close is a vampire that nobody here trusts except you.”

 

She shook her head. “You’re way outta line.”

 

“I don’t think so.”

 

“Well, obviously—”

 

“The guy’s trying to get his fangs in your throat, Buff! He’s a killer, and everyone can see it but you. And if it’s not that, then he’s trying to get into your pants.”

 

The air dropped dead. Buffy pursed her lips, her eyes suddenly far away. Her skin tingled and her breathing became labored. Hot. Overwhelmed with the shade of recent memory. Too sudden to foresee, too delicious to let go.

 

His lips, hot and needy against hers. A series of hungry, almost desperate whimpers clawing at the back of his throat. His tongue clashing against her tongue. His hands sliding over her skin, clutching at her shoulders, massaging her breasts. Nimble fingers tugging at her nipples before his mouth dropped to draw them into a frozen inferno of blistering sensationalism. His erection rubbing desperately against her center. His arms abound her with such care, such tender adoration. The look of awe in his eyes, peeling back layers to reveal his inner self.

 

“Buffy?”

 

She shook her head, banishing her lustful thoughts to a darker realm of herself. Now was not the time. “Even if that’s true, which it’s not, it wouldn’t be relevant to why he’s here.”

 

“He’s been all touchy-feely. I’m telling you, he either wants some neck or…some neck.”

 

“That’s not true.”

 

“How do you know?”

 

“’S you an’ me, kitten. An’ anythin’ else jus’ doesn’t measure up. It’s you an’ me. God, it has to be somethin’. An’ I’m not about to ruin it by leapin’ into bed with you. I want it—Christ, how I want it. But I want you more.”

 

“I just know, okay?”

 

“I’ll wait for you, Buffy. Don’ rush ahead ‘cause that’s what you think I want.”

 

“He’s evil. Why can you not get that? He’s no different from any of the other vamps you go out and stake on a daily basis, only he is, because you won’t stake him!”

 

An exasperated sigh tackled her throat. “Thank you very much, Giles.”

 

“You really think he cares about you?”

 

No—I know he does. If he didn’t, I would’ve woken up naked in his bed this morning rather than in his arms.

 

She didn’t say that. For whatever reason, it didn’t seem like something Xander would react favorably to. Instead, she shrugged, voice quieting. “He’s changed.”

 

“Oh really? He’s not evil anymore?”

 

“I didn’t say that. He just…he wouldn’t hurt me.”

 

“Oh please.”

 

“He wouldn’t.”

 

“Right. The same way Angel would never hurt you.”

 

Buffy’s eyes darkened. “Spike is not Angel.”

 

Xander nodded emphatically. “Yeah. He doesn’t even have a conscience to hold him back. The only thing that stands between him and a killing spree is a chip that those guys—” He pointed in the direction of the Eola Hotel. “—put in his head. That stops working, and then what? You really believe that Spike would continue to bend over backwards just because you asked nicely?”

 

“I—”

 

“In case you’ve forgotten, this is the same Spike that’s killed two Slayers. Not just one, my friend, but two.” He stopped and stared at her. “Are you so completely convinced that he’s not playing up to you so that if the chip ever stops working, you won’t even see him coming?”

 

A nag struck Buffy’s resolve, but she shook it off. It was ridiculous. “That’s ridiculous.”

 

“He’s a vampire, Buff. Plain and simple. Not too long ago, he had me and Will trapped in the factory to do a love spell for him. Mr. Psycho Obsessed With Psycho Girlfriend suddenly turning over a new leaf just because you asked him to?”

 

That was it. The Slayer stopped dead in her tracks, her shoulders slumping. All fight was gone. She didn’t have it in her to face these sorts of questions right now. “Why?” she asked. “Why are you doing this? Can’t you just…why are you lecturing me when you’re the one dating a demon? What makes you so above it all?”

 

“I’m not. I get that. But the last time you dated a vampire, Buffy, people died. And this was a vampire that was supposed to have a soul. Spike doesn’t even have that.” He shook his head. “I don’t wanna see you get hurt, is all. I was there for the drama that was Angelus. With him, you had to bring the monster out. Spike’s all monster, all the time. No prompting required. And no matter how hard he tries to get you to believe it, that’s what he is. I just…I don’t wanna see you get hurt again.”

 

Buffy smiled humorlessly and offered a dry nod, temper flaring. “Yeah, well, either shut your eyes or staple your lips,” she spat. “Congrats, Xander. You failed.”

 

Her strides gained momentum. She ignored his voice as he called after her. Ignored the heated vibrations of lingering non-apology. Her mind was in overdrive, working desperately to eradicate all of her friend’s words from hindsight.

 

It was too late. Her heart was already on the line.

 

And whether she liked it or not, there were some truths to be reckoned with. Spike was a vampire. He was the very same vampire that had kidnapped Angel to restore Drusilla. The same that had beaten her senseless outdoors after showcasing her inexperience. The same that had come to her dorm room to kill her, and would have killed Willow had there not been a chip.

 

This was a vampire that had murdered Slayers before. A vampire that had bragged about his conquests—the only vampire that had truly come close to defeating her. He had wanted to kill her for so long, and he made no secret of that. This was Spike. The Spike she had known for three years. Spike who was crazy for Drusilla, hungry for Slayer blood, and killed anything that stood in the way of either goal.

 

Spike whom had asked her last night if he could kiss her. Who had held her in his arms, exciting her like no man ever had. Who had cradled her in his embrace until morning. Who had made her pancakes and kissed her goodbye with such longing and promise that it took everything she had not to push him back inside and spend the day making out with him like crazy.

 

This thing with Spike was making her lose her focus. And what was worse, she didn’t want anything to change. She wanted to go back at sunset, receive a greeting kiss that would put the farewell one to shame, and then go out with him to patrol the cemetery. She wanted to laugh with him, share supper, and watch movies. She wanted to know more about Mary. She wanted to know him, pure and simple.

 

Whatever Xander’s prerogative had been, however, something had managed to wiggle inside. Where before she was complacent, the cool fingers of doubt were approaching a firm hold on her heart. He had made her doubt all the wonderful things that had occurred between them in the past couple days. And even if her mind tried to convince her that said doubt was there only by suggestion, it was still there, nonetheless.

 

This would be what she carried with her all day. A doubt of everything. A realization.

 

She hoped he was pleased with himself.

 Chapter Twenty-Four

 

 

The minute that he opened the door and digested the shifty, uncomfortable look on her face, piecing together what the day had been like was not a matter of much disclosure. Her body language reeked of discomfort. Of hesitation; of doubt. It wasn’t entirely unexpected—not with friends such as hers—but even still, the uncertainty coloring her eyes was heartbreaking.

 

He could stake himself for having her face the lions alone. While they had not attempted to keep their budding relationship shrouded in secrecy, he should have known—he had known—that her friends would pounce the moment they got her by herself. And they had. They had, because he had not been beside her. Even if rationality told him that the sun had kept him at bay. He had found ways around the sun before.

 

This was pure madness.

 

Even still, Spike released a deep breath and flashed a winning smile. No use letting her know that her discomfort was written in large red letters across her face. “Evenin’, sweetling.”

 

There was a pause at that. His smile faded. Perhaps he had underestimated the strength of his hold. The look coloring her face refused to dither. He didn’t believe he had ever seen her look so tentative. “Buffy?” he asked softly, guiding her inside. “Are you all right, pet?”

 

There was another pause. She blinked and forced a weak smile, as though only then realizing he was there. Dragging herself from some elusive thought. “Hey,” she said, yanking her arm free and rigidly shoving her way past him. The formality of her countenance was nearly a slap in the face. Her walls were up again, guarding her fortress with quivering resolve. She fidgeted, not knowing what to do with her hands. The deep hazel of her eyes was drenched in misery. “I…” she started, standing awkwardly in the middle of the dining area. The thought refused to conclude itself, and she fell to deeper silence.

 

When she finally met his gaze, he knew immediately whose neck to wring. There had never really been any doubt, but now there was none at all. She looked thoroughly tormented.

 

“Buffy—”

 

“I’m gonna go patrol,” she said abruptly. “I should…we didn’t get to the cemetery, and I should—”

 

“I’ll go with you.”

 

“No. I need to go alone.”

 

Spike growled lightly and stalked forward. Bollocks if he let Xander Harris muck up everything that he had been working toward simply because of a prejudice he could do nothing to dissolve. Before he could gauge his own actions, he had grasped Buffy by the arm and pulled her against him, forcing her eyes to his. “What did they say to you?” he rasped. “It was Harris, wasn’ it? What’d he say? Did he—”

 

“It’s nothing, Spike.” For the flush in her skin and the way she couldn’t maintain eye contact, he wagered she had never told a larger lie. “I just need some time to think…about this.”

 

“About us,” he corrected, voice guttural.

 

“I—”

 

“What did he say, pet? What did he—”

 

She wrenched her arm free again and shook her head. “It doesn’t matter,” she replied softly. “It doesn’t matter. I just have to think.”

 

“Buffy—”

 

“No, I’m going to go now.”

 

“Shouldn’t we chat this out?” He didn’t mean for the plea to hit his voice, but it did all the same. He had a terrible feeling that if she walked out, there would be no more discussion.

 

Fuck it all. How could everything they had done, all the truths they had exchanged, everything that had accounted for the best days of his life be so randomly threatened? How had he allowed that?

 

“I need to think, Spike. It’s nothing. Really, it’s…” She met his eyes remorsefully. “Nothing’s changed. I feel the same way I did before I left…I just need to think this out before we rush into it headfirst. And I know that’s what you did for me last night. I said I needed time but I haven’t used it…I’ve just…I dunno. But I have to be alone for a little while, so I’m going to go patrol now.” She licked her lips. “I’ll be back soon, okay? Then we can talk.”

 

He didn’t move. Didn’t say anything. Just stood, stared, and felt himself nod. She attempted another smile in his direction and placed a brief, albeit reassuring kiss upon his lips, then moved for the door and was gone in seconds. Her whirlwind arrival and departure left him bereft. A crashing storm dividing them down the middle.

 

He shouldn’t have let her go alone.

 

*~*~*

 

“Leo said he’d have the state militia test the barrier.” Josh plopped wearily in the lobby sitting area of the Eola Hotel, catching a canned beer as it whizzed off Sam’s aim. “There wasn’t anything else, though. Said he’d never heard of a Slayer but would run it passed Fitz and McNally.”

 

“Fitz is the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs,” Sam said, turning to Willow for explanation. She offered a tired smile and nodded. “Nancy McNally is our National Security Advisor. As far as Leo knows, they’re the only people who have an ear to the President who know.”

 

“Except us,” Donna said, taking a sip of her lemonade. “Now we know.”

 

“I think Toby’s going to go crazy before the night’s out,” Josh retorted. “Anyone wanna take a pool on that?”

 

Sam shook his head, eyes glued on the attentive redhead at his side. “How’d research go?” he asked.

 

“A whole lot of nothing,” she replied desolately. “These terms that Giles gave me were written in…I don’t know. Some language beyond my comprehension. The stuff I’m used to is all ‘rosemary herbs’ and ‘rat-tail’ and ‘newt eyes.’” A heavy sigh escaped her lips. “The closest I came to translating any of what he gave me was a recipe for dip.”

 

“We decided that the book guy probably wasn’t too interested in expanding his culinary prowess,” Donna added. “So we started researching the ghost cat some more and found a few very interesting—”

 

Josh groaned. “Oh, God, here we go…”

 

“And as I explain them to you, we’re going to play the Everyone Ignore Josh game.”

 

“Where is Giles?” Willow interrupted, earning a devastatingly grateful look from the Deputy Chief of Staff. She smiled apologetically at Donna, but turned to the ever-tacit Wesley all the same. “When I called, he said to be back here by seven.”

 

The former Watcher smiled. “Yes,” he agreed. “Then he and Anya stumbled across something that required immediate attention. They believe they know whom the book belongs to. An ancient Roman god called Quirinias.”

 

Sam frowned. “Quirinias? I thought he was a war god of the Sabines.”

 

That random bout of knowledge seemed to stun the room. Willow beamed proudly and gave him a shoulder hug.

 

Josh and Donna just stared at him. “Why in the world,” the former demanded, “would you have that information at your disposal?”

 

The Deputy Communications Director spread his hands diplomatically. “So it’s all right for the President to know these things, but when it’s me, it’s too unreasonable?”

 

Josh seemed to consider this for a minute, then shook his head in concession. “No,” he admitted. “You’re both nerds, so I suppose it’s to be expected.”

 

“Hey!” Willow yelped defensively. “Smart is not synonymous with nerd.” She paused and glanced down. “A-at least that’s what my mother used to tell me.”

 

“You’re adorable,” Sam informed her.

 

“Regardless,” Wesley said, voice tiresome. “As Anya claims to have known Quirinias at one point or another, Rupert is hounding her for information that continuously contradicts itself. I believe she is getting him confused with the god Buku, which makes absolutely no sense as Buku is an African god; not of Ancient Rome.”

 

“This conversation gives new meaning to the term, ‘separation of Church and State,’” Josh mumbled.

 

Willow quirked her head to the side. “That’s strange,” she mused. “Anya’s tact might be…well, lacking, but she usually remembers all the ancient gods with a fair amount of accuracy.”

 

“I don’t think I want to know how old Anya is,” the Deputy Chief of Staff volunteered.

 

“Eleven hundred, or in the thereabouts,” the Witch replied.

 

“Thank you.”

 

She shrugged. “Well, she knows her stuff. She’s annoying and socially deficient, yes, but…I guess I need to be fair. She’s only been human for about a year.”

 

Donna cleared her throat and turned back to Wesley.  “So,” she began.  “We know who the book belongs to...what does that mean?”

 

He shrugged.  “We don't know at the moment.  Quirinias, if he is indeed the proprietor of the text, isn't a god that we have too much information on.  As Sam observed, his origin was technically claimed by the Sabines, but later adapted by the Roman Empire.”

 

“And if memory serves,” Sam continued, “in equivalence with the Roman Empire, Quirinias was regarded as important a god as Jupiter or Mars.”  He glanced to Willow and smiled sheepishly.  “I took a class in ancient mythology when I was in college.”

 

Josh turned to Donna.  “The more I watch them, the more I'm positive that they're either twins separated at birth, or need to do it and get it over with before it just gets too...cute.”

 

The redhead and the Deputy Communications Director exchanged glances of mutual discomfort.

 

“Where's Xander?” the blonde asked a minute later to quell the inherent discomfort.  “I thought he and Buffy would be back by now.”

 

“He called,” Wesley said.  “Evidently, he had not foreseen winding himself on the trips about town, so he decided to return to the Wensel House to rest.  Buffy was supposed to go on her night patrol with Spike, but I haven't heard from her one way or another.”

 

Josh shook his head.  “I don't understand how she and that psycho boyfriend of hers keep getting the jobs where they're alone together for hours on end.”

 

Willow shrugged, her smile fading.  “Just lucky, I guess.”

 

Donna licked her lips, sensing the subject stray into dangerous waters and making a mad dive before things could become even more rigid. “So, if the state militia gets here and can’t get in from the outside, what happens?”

 

“Well, if that’s the case, I don’t think we’ll have much of a choice.”

 

The redhead’s eyes widened. “What do you mean?”

 

“The only solution might be to…you know…” Josh cracked a small smile. “Bomb Natchez.”

 

There was a short pause at that—the former Watcher’s eyes went wide and he came dangerously close to toppling out of his chair. “What?”

 

“He’s kidding,” Willow explained hastily, gaze darting to the Deputy Chief of Staff, whose eyes were dancing. “You are kidding, right?”

 

Sam nodded and patted her hand in reassurance. “He’s kidding.”

 

“If the guys can’t get in, there’ll be a thing and Leo might get the Initiative guys involved.” Josh shrugged. “I dunno. He has a lot on his plate right now. Dealing with the leadership about his thing. Trying to get out of a bunch of assuredly embarrassing hearings and further public disgrace. Working to find replacements to take care of the Mendoza confirmation until we get back—”

 

“Don’t mention that around Toby,” the Deputy Communications Director advised.

 

“We’re the advisors to the President and we’re stuck in Mayberry.” A sigh cross his lips. “And apparently, to top it all off, Zoey and Charlie have started seeing each other.”

 

Donna smiled ear-to-ear. “Oh really? That’s so sweet.”

 

“Zoey Bartlet?” Wesley asked. “The President’s daughter?”

 

“Unless you know another.” Josh nodded and leaned back. “Yeah, and now the President’s upped Zoey’s secret service even more so than before and is looking into getting a specific field agent for her to be on twenty-four hour active duty. It’s turning into a thing.”

 

The redhead frowned. “Why?”

 

Sam cleared his throat, suddenly uncomfortable. “Charlie’s black,” he explained.

 

She stared at him blankly. “So…I’m Jewish, what’s that got to do with anything?”

 

“You’re Jewish?” Josh echoed, perplexed.

 

“Her last name is Rosenberg,” Donna provided.

 

“With as liberated and stunningly intelligent as you are, Willow,” Sam began with a weak smile. “It might surprise, or even shock you to know that a black man dating the President’s daughter is not something some of the more—”

 

“Red-necked psychos?” Josh volunteered.

 

“—less-tolerant citizens will understand.”

 

The Deputy Chief of Staff turned back to his assistant. “Yes, her name is Rosenberg,” he agreed. “But she’s also a witch and I’ve seen her eat bacon.”

 

The redhead was thoroughly astonished. Granted, it wasn’t really all that surprising, but she lived in a town where discrimination against ethnicities was virtually nonexistent. There were too many real problems to discern to bother with making sure everyone fit the classic standard of a perfect American. “That’s horrible,” she muttered. Then frowned at Josh who was still arguing the validations of her Judaism. “I was born Jewish,” she explained. “I think I’m going through a thing right now where I’m trying to even out my Wiccanism and my upbringing. But I am Jewish…my family was never really orthodox. I don’t know…”

 

Sam shrugged. “It’s a thing.”

 

“Exactly.”

 

Josh shifted slightly in his seat and cocked his head. “So, your high school was so rough that you were finding dead guys in lockers?” he asked. “I thought I heard you say something about a mortality rate.”

 

Willow cracked a small smile. “The dead guys in the lockers was really one of the lesser problems,” she explained. “Sunnydale’s on top of a hellmouth, so there’s a lot of freaky activity and evil demons to fight. And—”

 

“Whoa, wait, hold on.” The man blinked slowly. “A what-mouth?”

 

“Hellmouth,” she answered. “The mouth of Hell, or one of them, I should say. I think Giles said there’s one in Cleveland. I’ve actually done some research and I’m looking to pinpoint how many there are, bilaterally.” The three staffers were looking at her askance. Wesley only offered a small, ‘I’m on the in’ smile and nodded his concurrence.

 

“Oh my God,” Donna said slowly.

 

“That would explain for the things I heard as a kid,” Sam muttered.

 

Willow shrugged. “It’s just the way it is,” she said. “And, yeah, Xander and I were on the wrong side of freaked when we found out three years ago, but it did seem to explain a lot of things.”

 

“How did you guys find out?”

 

“We were attacked by vamps…well, I was taken by a vamp, Buffy saved me, then we were attacked by vamps.” She sighed. “We lost a friend of ours to vamps, actually. He was turned and everything. Xander had to stake him, too, so I think that’s why he’s so anti-vampire. He hated Angel…but that was because Angel had this thing with Buffy. And just when he started to not-hate Angel, Angel goes evil. So the Angel-hateage was really a kinda permanent thing.”

 

Donna nodded. “And that’s why he’s so against Spike?”

 

“He’s against Spike because Spike’s a vampire. I can understand that.” Willow sighed again with a frown. “I don’t…understanding whatever Spike is to Buffy right now is weird. Angel left town for her own good and everything…and before all this happened, I really thought she was hitting it off with this Riley guy back in Sunnydale. Now with the Faith thing and the living together and…whatever it is between them, it’s too sudden for me to call. I mean, one day they’re fighting to the death, the next they’re all snuggly-wuggly.”

 

Josh’s brows arched. “And that’s the literal kind of fighting to the death?”

 

A giggle tickled the redhead’s throat. “Spike once issued an order for all these demony assassins to kill Buffy. She’s dropped a piano on him, too. Then they joined together to stop Angel when he was all evilly and whatnot. Spike split town and came back a couple months later, kidnapped Xander and me, threatened to kill us if I didn’t do a love spell to get Dru back for him. Then not too long ago, he came back with this gem thing that made him all invincible…until Buffy took it away. Then he got all chipped up, he and Buffy hated each other, and now they’re practically dating.”

 

The Deputy Chief of Staff grinned warily. “Sounds a lot like Donna’s ex-boyfriend.”

 

The blonde grumbled and thwacked him. “Hey!”

 

He bade her off, eyes not leaving Willow’s. He had a silly ‘I’m pestering Donna’ look about his face that was no stranger to anyone who knew him well. “So the answer’s yes, then?” he asked.

 

The Witch frowned. “Yes?”

 

“That’s the literal kind of fighting to the death?”

 

She nodded. “Used to be. Not anymore.”

 

Sam sighed and turned his eyes to the carpet. “You guys have strange lives,” he said.

 

“It’s normal to us,” she reasoned. “And that’s just Spike. You guys haven’t heard about Anya and the way she became human. O-or the giant snake and the school blowing up on graduation. One time, we were all dressed up for Halloween and this old friend of Giles’s turned us into our costumes. And Buffy’s gotten to use a rocket launcher and then the Hellmouth has nearly opened two or three or a bajillion times, and—”

 

Josh held up a hand and turned to Donna. “Do you remember when our lives were boring?”

 

She appeared to think a minute, then shrugged. “We do work for the President,” she replied. “I guess that’s about as boring as the next job.”

 

He grinned at her.

 

“Well,” Wesley said, shifting forward a bit. “If this is as bad as it tends to get, I would prepare for your so-called ‘boring’ lives to become rather interesting very soon. Rupert is adamant that something is coming. Whatever was released with that book…”

 

Willow smiled. “Typical world-saveage,” she said. “All in a day’s work. Buffy slays, we party.”

 

That solution seemed something that Josh could very easily live with. “Really?”

 

“Hardly ever.”

 

There was a short pause and a collective sigh about the room.

 

“I think I’m going to miss boring,” Donna said.

 

“We took boring for granted,” Sam agreed.

 

Josh shrugged. “I’m not too worried,” he said, earning a foray of vastly amused glances. “We got the Wicked Witch of the West over here and that Slayer chick, plus one of the original Lost Boys and Anya of the ancient demon clan. What could possibly go wrong?”

 

The redhead groaned and smacked his knee. “That, for instance!”

 

“I was kidding!”

 

She hit him again. Harder. “You don’t kid with those words!” And again. “You just don’t!”

 

“Sam, call your girlfriend off of me!”

 

“Hey!”

 

“You’re the one tempting fate,” Sam advised, hands coming up diplomatically.

 

Another hit. Josh glanced to Donna for help. “What?” he demanded. “You gonna just stand there while I’m pummeled bodily?”

 

She shrugged. “Yes.”

 

“You’re fired.”

 

“Well, if the world’s ending, I really don’t care about my employment status.”

 

Wesley sighed and turned to Willow after she let up. “Do you suppose Buffy and Spike are having any luck?”

 

She perked her brows. “If they’re acting at all the way they’ve been acting…or, you know, like we’re acting? What do you think?”

 

“The world is in serious peril.” He glanced around. “And we’re the ones who can stop it.”

 

“Not of the reassuring.”

 

He nodded grimly, but didn’t reply. And as they sank back into calm, conversational chatter to quell the inherent discomfort around them, a line of tedium formed between their reasonability.

 

It was a game of waiting, now. And they were playing so well it was nearly second-habit.

 

Until Giles called, there was nothing to do but wait.

Chapter Twenty-Five

 

 

He knew that following her could end up being one of the worst mistakes he had made. He knew it, and yet no amount of force or reasoning could keep him grounded. Could keep him from running after her. He had let her go alone once, and now they were blocked by a manmade wall of inherent prejudice. She needed space—he respected that. He had to.

 

But he couldn’t stop himself from following her. He wouldn’t have been able to do anything but, if only to ensure that she was all right. That nothing came about her patrol, and that the cemeteries in Natchez were just as easy to handle as those in Sunnydale.

 

That she didn’t need him.

 

Spike expelled a deep breath. Worrying alone was ridiculous. She was the Slayer. She could handle herself better than anyone. And had this been a few weeks ago, he would think nothing of it. After all, he was what he was. A vampire that thrived in destruction. That thought blood was better flavored with tears. That indulged every scream he had inspired, every plea for mercy he had dismissed.

 

A vampire that had loved with every inch of his body without loving.

 

Until now. And none of the rest mattered, because it was all before. Before he knew the agonizing bliss of loving Buffy. An epiphany only realized the night before that felt like it had been living with him forever. And he was prepared to face her anger if it meant satisfying his qualms about her safety.

 

So he followed. Not too far behind, not so close that she would sense him immediately. He had to make sure that she was all right. That she would come home to him tonight.

 

He would be a guardian kept in shadows if need be. Just as long as he could see her, he was content.

 

*~*~*

 

The Natchez City Cemetery had a haunting beauty about it that nearly disregarded the notion that it was a cemetery at all. And regardless of what all could be said, Buffy had spent a fair share of her adult life in cemeteries. Never had she thought one beautiful. Serene. The land was simply panoramic. The mausoleums chipping with age in a way the Restfield crypts never seemed to accomplish. Family plots were fenced in individually; a small runway for visitors ran throughout the seemingly endless acreage. Statues of the Virgin Mary and large adorning crucifixes were situated on various tombs, wilted roses coloring the ground where loved ones had come to pay their respects. Generation upon generation upon generation. Here. Right here. Beneath her feet.

 

Buffy drew in a deep breath and shuddered. This was a holy place. It was not like Sunnydale. It didn’t have vampires crawling out of graves every other night. There weren’t ritual sacrifices being made to any of the hierarchy of demons. This was not a battleground. It wasn’t made for it, and never had been.

 

It was a holy place—until now. Until the arrival of the Scoobies and all the demons of Hell that followed.

 

For the first time in her life, she understood the difference between graveyards and cemeteries. In graveyards, she was comfortable. She spent so many nights walking among the shadows that it eventually became easy for her to disregard the knowledge that the dead rested beneath her feet. That initial feeling of discomfort that she had always experienced as a child was long way given to the pangs of more familiar tedium. She had schooled herself to the point of apathy. One could not be a Slayer and feel uneasy in her territory. It was a decent way to get killed.

 

She just didn’t realize how neutralized she had become until she crossed the gate and digested the view presented. She had never felt so unwelcome on hollow ground.

 

Buffy dispelled a sigh, shivering lightly and tucking her hands into her pockets. It was hard to imagine that just a few short hours ago, she had awakened in Spike’s arms, warm and content. The patterns he drew across her skin with devilled ease as though he was trying to memorize every contour she presented. The feel of his arms around her, holding her to him—she had never experienced such contentment. Such a drive of tenderness and protection.

 

And then awakening. That look of sleepy adoration in his eyes. When had that become normal? When had it changed from loathing to tolerance, from tolerance to friendship, from friendship to lust, and now to…what? She remembered a time not too long ago when hating Spike was as natural as breathing. When he was her mortal enemy and not her confidant. When she would sooner dive into a pit of rattlesnakes than let him as close as she had let him get. Wanted him to get.

 

It was happening fast—but it wasn’t. For everything she had known about him before, she would have thought him to be the type who took what he wanted and ran. And he wanted her. He made no secret of it. He wanted her, and he could have had her by now if that was all he wanted. She asked him for time, and he honored her request. He honored it so much that he reminded her of it when she was all but begging him to be more the Spike she had known over the years; not the Spike that was worming his way into her heart.

 

She was terrified of the prospect. Terrified of what it meant. Because despite however much she thought she was ready, there were some truths to be reckoned with. Things she had tried to forget but kept resurfacing. He was a vampire. Despite all the want of goodness that was there, he was a vampire. He wouldn’t be with them in Natchez if it weren’t for the chip—he would be plotting against her. Trying to kill her. Thinking of inventive ways to make her wounds bleed again. He had tunneled through the bowels of Sunnydale for a ring that would ensure an all-go pass on endless monstrosities. They had fought under a shade on the campus. He had come there to kill her.

 

What’s it take to pry apart the Slayer’s dimpled knees?

 

Last night, she had offered to show him. Last night, he had refused her.

 

No, not refused. She had never seen a man look at her the way he had. Aroused desire screaming down whatever moral code a vampire would live by. Even Angel, who had more than one demon to contend with—that knowledge that if he touched her, he had the potential of losing everything. With Spike, it was exactly the opposite. A sense of wonder that she was allowing him to touch her at all—honored by the privilege, determined to make sure that he did not take her for granted. Where Angel feared losing everything, Spike seemed to fear gaining the very same. He held her like she was precious to him. They had been dancing around each other for days, and true, had he not initiated that first kiss in the Myrtles, such would be a non-issue. But he had. He had, and here they were.

 

He was a vampire. She had done this scene. It was wrong.

 

It had been wrong the first time. Wrong, but acceptable. That vampire had at least owned a conscience. That vampire had been cursed with a soul.

 

The vampire with her now—no, he had no soul. All he had was a chip. The rest was all him. All Spike. He was a killer; had been from the first. The very same vampire that had formed his own mission to see her six feet under from the moment he took the crash-course into her life. Spike, whom up until just recently, had been so lovesick for Drusilla that Buffy at times found herself envying the sick vampiress. No one had ever loved her so unconditionally. So fully. Without reservation. Without anything that required any thought at all.

 

And if they continued like this…if she ignored the warnings and followed her heart instead, like she had so many times before, and let herself into this, what then? She fell in love with him? With how serious her feelings were, that eventuality was creeping up on her with no room to escape. She did not doubt the sincerity in his feelings for her. In the declaration he made the night before; how he wanted her, and not just sex—yes, she believed him. And the thought of stepping back, from removing the Spike factor from her life before they even had a chance to see how great they could be together, made her heart ache in ways it never had. Never.

 

He was already there. And not for the kisses, the touches; it was everything. The casual trades, the provocative banter, the jokes, the ease of their conversation. She valued him as a friend, but her heart had dug trenches that were so much deeper than that.

 

So say she did this—gave it her all. What happened when it was over for him?

 

What happened when the chip no longer worked? Buffy honestly could not see him causing her harm—he had promised her as much, and she believed him—but for everyone else out there. The happy meals with legs, as he had once called them. He would not give that up. Not for anyone; not even for her.

 

Because he was a vampire, and such was the way of vampires.

 

If it came down to that, if he started killing again…

 

She was not about to kill another boyfriend. Not Spike. It would be easier if they remained at arms length. That way, when the inevitable day arrived, she could swallow her pride and tell him to leave town. Leave her. Go somewhere and never come back so she would never know the pain of killing him.

 

And that was all well and good, except for one thing.

 

She didn’t want to keep him at arms length. The look in his eyes tonight alone had nearly broken her. She wanted to run back, bury herself in his embrace, and tell him everything that had happened so he could fill the air with empty promises, kiss her temple and assure her that all would be all right.

 

If she allowed herself to do that—if she threw all caution aside for a man with no soul, what in God’s name did that make her?

 

And more importantly, did she even care anymore?

 

Buffy expelled another breath and shivered. She licked her lips and withdrew her hands from her pockets, crossing her arms over her chest and making her way down the winding path of the cemetery with slow ease. It occurred to her out of nowhere that Christmas was coming soon. Was it next week? So hard to believe that this time last year, she had been agonizing over Angel and the awkward, forced distance she had implemented because they couldn’t be friends. Just last year. And now, here she was. Agonizing over a different vampire. Wanting a different vampire.

 

Falling in love with a different vampire.

 

No. She frowned and shook her head. That was one thing she couldn’t allow herself. It would be so easy to lose herself in Spike—she nearly had. It couldn’t happen. Being in love was not a walk through the clouds; it was hogtying her heart to the back of a truck and watching it spin out of control in a race of twisted metal and broken glass. Watching a single candle burn on her birthday cupcake. Feeling that sickness in the pit of her stomach.

 

Angel had been bad enough. Spike might destroy her.

 

She had been so willing, too. So open and damnably willing. And now, just thinking of it—putting everything in perspective—she was miserable.

 

Miserable and cold.

 

It took a minute to differentiate internal cold from exterior. Buffy’s frown deepened, her shivers becoming more pronounced. The freeze was palpable; she felt it with every fiber of her being. That was strange. Natchez could get as cold as the next town, sure, but this was different. The air around her was still warm. Temperate. But her insides were shattering with frost. It came upon her with no more warning than a shot in the dark. She reached out to grab hold of something and steady her balance and nearly tripped in recourse.

 

It was on the drop that the feeling ceased being an annoyance and drove nails to her bones. A shrill gasp escaped her throat; her body tightening in an internal turn to fight off whatever had seized her insides. It was burrowed deep within her. Something grasping her, drawing out the elixir of her power. Gnawing through flesh without touching her. She felt something had latched onto her back, but there was nothing. Nothing except crashing waves of dizziness that spanned to steal her consciousness. And the next time she tripped, there was no recovery. Only falling.

 

Falling.

 

Stone scratched under her skin and the scent of blood smacked her in the face. The cold took a more pronounced turn—her strength draining. Her jaw dropped and she tried to scream for help, but no sound came out. Something was wrong. Something was horribly…

 

The next few seconds were a blur of recognition, too fast for her to follow. She hit the ground the next instant—open palms supporting her fall. There was a flash of platinum blonde and a possessive, predatory growl that she had never heard before. And then, just like that, it was gone. The cold—something yanked from her back, scratching lines into her skin with a wrathful cry. Buffy panted, fisting earth between her fingers as warmth seared her veins. An undercurrent of feeling. The numbing of her flesh began to wan. She glanced up when she thought she could, breathing harshly still, and allowed the flood of relief to fill her insides.

 

Spike.

 

It was a cathartic moment. Spike was here. Spike was here for her. God, Spike was here and he was…

 

Fighting some very ugly demon. Screaming at it at the top of his dead lungs.

 

And ripping it to shreds.

 

Buffy blinked wearily and tried to sit up, her arms and legs wobbly. It was futile; she slipped and fell again, rolling onto her back. The sting of Spike’s curses filled the air. She didn’t catch much—small increments of filthy fuckin’ hands and kill the bloody bastard for touchin’ his girl and a thousand other snarls as he ripped the shadow limb from limb.

 

It was over within seconds. The instant the demon fell, Spike abandoned his fury and rushed to the Slayer’s side, taking her in his arms and bringing her to his chest, murmuring words of comfort that were more for his sake than hers. He pulled away after a blink, his hands taking chart of her body to make sure everything was all right and feathering her face with kisses.

 

“’S’all right,” he told her, lips dancing down her throat. “You’re all right. ‘S gone. Took care of it. God, I—”

 

Buffy clutched the leather at his forearms, anchoring herself to him. Her mind was a blur. She had absolutely no idea what had just transpired. How she had been walking in the cemetery alone one minute and found herself in Spike’s embrace a minute later. Her head was still achy; strength returning to her muscles little by little. Whatever it was, the attack had been so sudden that its aftershock was nearly more excruciating than the blow itself. “Spike?” she asked softly. “What happened? What are you doing here?”

 

“You din’t see it,” he said, unable to draw his mouth from her skin. It was a reassurance thing; she understood that. His way of satisfying his fear. And though it registered distantly that she should be irritated that he had gone against her wishes and followed her, there was no sense in being angry with someone who had just saved her life based on technicalities.

 

If she were completely honest with herself, she would confess to having never felt quite as safe, quite as secure, as she did at this moment.

 

“I…didn’t see what?”

 

Spike forced himself to pull away, though his arms tightened around her body, coaxing her head to his shoulder as he stroked her back. He inhaled her scent gratefully. She was certain she felt him trembling. “’aven’t seen one in an age,” he replied gently, releasing a quivering breath. “Not since me an’ Dru were in Japan before the war. ‘S one of their demons.”

 

“A Japanese demon?”

 

“’S called buruburu, ‘f memory serves.” He ran his fingers through her hair and kissed her forehead. “Out of their folklore. Lurks in forests an’ graveyards. ‘S a parasite, you see. Latches onto whoever’s passin’ by an’…God, it had you.” He drew back and pressed his brow to hers, leaning in for a quick kiss of comfort. “Hafta be a ghosty or what all to see it, sweets. Somethin’ a li’l less human. You din’t even know it was on you.”

 

“Spike—”

 

“Could’ve lost you,” he murmured into her hair. “God, Buffy…” He pulled back slightly, hand coming to caress her face. “You know what those things do? Freeze you—steal your strength. Steal your bloody energy.” His hands were running laps up and down her arms, as though to rejuvenate said strength simply by the presence of comfort. “Are you all right? I need to get you back. Rest up an’ what all.”

 

Buffy didn’t protest. Couldn’t. Not even when he lifted her into his arms. She wasn’t the type that needed a knight in white armor—in fact; she was more the type to resent the notion. And yes, while her throat itched to offer its condensation, she couldn’t bring herself to voice it. Her muscles still felt too pliant to walk. To be trusted with anything.

 

There was a difference between arguing for keeps and arguing to argue. She didn’t want to argue with Spike if she could avoid it. Not anymore.

 

Spike headed for the back room the minute that they arrived at the townhouse. He set her on the bed without a word and reached for the buttons of her jacket. After satisfying his concern that she wasn’t bleeding anywhere but her leg and upper arm from where she had scraped herself on the headstone, he nodded—more to himself—and reached for the hem of her tee. Buffy was numb with recovery, watching him as though his actions were being portrayed on a screen far from herself. Thus when he glanced to her face, seeking reaction, he pursed his lips and forced a small smile. “Lift your arms, pet.”

 

So strange. She heard the words. She knew what she was supposed to do. Her body, however, refused to comply.

 

There was a pregnant pause as he studied her, a shadow coloring his eyes as his features took in the sharp pangs of rejection. “’m not gonna touch you. Promise. I jus’ gotta see where it hurts, all right?”

 

Buffy’s eyes widened. That was the furthest thing from her mind. “No. You don’t…I…Spike—”

 

“Lift your arms, sweetling.”

 

She complied immediately, hoping that her body language would convey everything that words were failing to so horribly. It didn’t. He divested her shirt and added it to the growing pile at the bedside. Her own hands went to her bra, a hiss rushing through her teeth as a hook snagged on a hidden scrape from where the underwire had gone amiss. Spike helped her without touching her as promised, not reacting to the flesh revealed more than a simple licking of his lips before returning his attention to the task at hand.

 

“’m gonna go get a washcloth,” he said, voice hoarse. “Be right back.”

 

She thought to protest, but he was gone and back before her voice could surface. Something cool touched her skin; the hurt quelled and a moan of approval escaped her lips. Spike’s eyes flickered to her face briefly, but he did not pursue her pleasure. As soon as the wound was clean, he threw off his duster, stripped off his own shirt and covered her breasts before she could think to what was happening.

 

It amused her, though, that he thought taking off his own clothes would be simpler than redressing her with the worn shirt at the bedside. And as though reading her thoughts, he met her eyes sheepishly and offered the first grin she had seen since initially arriving home. “’S longer,” he offered lamely. “It’ll cover your bits, right?”

 

She smiled and hugged the material to her body. “Smells like you,” she said.

 

Spike stared at her, specks of light dancing across his eyes. Timid—not wanting to break through for fear of the other. “Buffy—”

 

He had to inspect her below the belt. She knew that, just as she knew that he was hesitant in initiating such a bold move. The burn of his gaze was passionate—hurt, but passionate. And it was entirely her fault. For everything that she had been so in arms with just a short while ago, it didn’t seem to matter now. With him, the sky was the limit. She was worried, would likely always be worried, but the tug on her heartstrings was too great to ignore. There would be no avoiding him.

 

“You followed me,” she said, taking his hand in hers and lowering it to the clasp on her jeans. He accepted the invitation for what it was and abandoning her fly for a moment to throw her shoes and socks to the other side of the room before stripping her trousers as well. There was a sizable scrape on her inner thigh; one along her back from where the buruburu latched and been torn away. The washcloth returned, dabbing soothing circles where it hurt. Spike drew in a breath, inhaling her scent—her reaction to his touch—but made no move to further it.

 

It was a minute before he replied. She had forgotten what she said when he did. “I followed you,” he confirmed. “Had to make sure nothin’ went wrong. I know ‘s not what you wanted, but—”

 

“Spike—”

 

“Can’t help worryin’ ‘bout you, sweetling.” He smiled, though there was no feeling behind it. “Be a love an’ turn over. Need to see this other mark.”

 

Buffy did as he asked, lying face down upon the mattress and hugging a pillow close. The bed creaked as he added his weight, crawling over her body, contemplating, and then straddling her ass for the best vintage point. A soft gasp tickled her throat, soothing in the least. She felt his erection pressing into her and ached to arch back into him, but somehow knew that the move would be one of the more insensitive things she could have attempted.

 

If he was at all aware of her musings, he did not betray it. Instead, his hand skimmed the torn skin, nostrils flaring at the rising scent of her blood. “God, Buffy,” he murmured. “Your sweet li’l…’m so sorry, pet. Should’ve been there sooner. Should’ve—”

 

“It’s not your fault. Doesn’t even really hurt all that much.”

 

“I din’t see it quick enough.”

 

“If I’d asked you to come with me, none of this would’ve happened.” When she received no reply, she took that to mean that he agreed with her and would say nothing more for fear of triggering her anger. “Spike?”

 

“Mmmm?”

 

“What’s a backarack doing in Natchez?”

 

The vampire grinned, fingers massaging her sensitive skin delicately. “You mean a buruburu, sweets?” She nodded. “I have no bloody clue. Only seen one before tonight, an’ it was a bloody long time ago.”

 

“You think it has anything to do with what’s going on?”

 

“The book, you mean?” She shrugged, her body rippling with the motion. The hardness in his jeans became more pronounced. Spike clenched his teeth. “Can’t else imagine why a bloody buruburu would be here, so yeh. ‘m gonna phone up Rupert after you’re tucked in an’ give him a bloody earful.” His hand slid under the hem of the shirt she now adorned, skin trembling against hers. “Mistake to put you in this,” he murmured.

 

That was it. They had to talk this out before the mixed signals made her go completely over the edge. Buffy drew in a deep breath and pushed herself up, preparing to turn around. “Spike…”

 

Almost immediately, his hands came to her shoulders to halt the movement. “Don’t,” he gasped. “Don’t. I’ll bloody lose my mind ‘f you—”

 

“It’s okay. We need to talk.”

 

“Yeh. An’ hearin’ those four words really gives me incentive to stay here an’ chat.” He was off her the next minute, throwing his duster over his nude shoulders. “’m gonna head over to the house an’ get you somethin’ to eat,” he said. Then he stopped at the door, registering the half-dazed Slayer that was propped on her elbows, watching him with intense uncertainty. And he wavered. “Are you all right? I don’ know how long it’ll take to bring back your strength, but…” There was no conclusion. He just stared at her for long seconds before remembering himself. “I, uh…I’ll be back in a flash.”

 

The minute he was gone, Buffy fell back on the bed and mewled. God, why was it so difficult to talk to him when he was here? She knew exactly what she wanted to say. Regardless if her feelings were still muddled, there was a fine line between where they had been this morning and where they were now.

 

He had not tasted her blood. He had not asked to, not attempted. Would she have let him? She honestly didn’t know. Everything was so confusing right now.

 

The slam of the front door announced his return. She thought he would come to her directly but he set to busying himself in the kitchen instead. There were a few murmured curses and the occasional clamoring—things that inspired grins even if she knew it was better not to poke fun at him. Really, for a vampire that had killed Slayers and prided himself on being the Big Bad, he was incredibly sweet.

 

The minute his voice became audible, she nearly started off the bed. It took a few seconds to realize he was not speaking to her.

 

“Have you an’ your lot found anythin’ yet? Right then—that’s helpful. How ‘bout why there are bloody buruburus runnin’ around an’ latchin’ onto slayers as they patrol? Yeh, you heard me…well, of course I killed it! What the hell do you take me for? No, she’s fine. Restin’, right. ‘m makin’ her supper, then I think she should get some sleep. Bloody no, she’s not goin’ out there again. This thing nearly killed her!” There was an estranged sigh. “I know for goddamned well that she’s the Slayer, but ‘f there’s one of these blighters in this hellhole an’ I’m the only one that can see it, whaddya think the odds are that she’ll get away next time? No, that’s not a threat, you bleedin’ pillock! Well, for the toss I gave it, I’d sure as hell hope it’d…oh, for Chrissake, jus’ find out what the hell this thing is doin’ an ocean away from where it’s s’posed to be. Right?”

 

Buffy pursed her lips, her heart aching. God, he was trying. He was trying so hard, and no one was giving him any credit for it.

 

And for what she had done earlier tonight…what she had said. What she had subconsciously delivered.

 

He was still with her, though. Still caring for her. All in all, regardless.

 

A few minutes past before he finally returned to her bedside: a bowl of soup in one hand and a cup of tea in the other. “’S chicken noodle,” he said, setting the delicacies at the nightstand. “Thought it’d be the best, considerin’. Don’ know ‘f you like tea or not, but ‘s the next best thing they had in the kitchen.”

 

Buffy smiled gratefully. “Thank you.”

 

“Don’ mention it, sweets.” He paused, considering her, then wiped his hands on his jeans and turned to leave. “’m gonna go watch the telly. I’ll be up for a while yet, but you should get some rest.”

 

“Spike—”

 

“Whatever needs to be said can wait one bloody night.” A sigh tickled the air. “Honestly, I don’ think I’m up for it at the moment.”

 

“No, I mean—”

 

“Sweet dreams, Slayer.”

 

It was obvious he wasn’t going to stop long enough to hear a full sentence. And there was no way she was going to let this rest until morning. She wanted him to know now—before the influence of daylight could break her. Before everything else came rushing back. It had to be now. “Stay.”

 

That did it. Spike froze at the door. “What?”

 

There could be no mistaking her meaning. It was all or nothing now. Buffy edged over, making enough room in the bed for him. Not that she had taken up an obscene amount in the first place, but she chose for the less subtle of the movements. “Stay with me,” she repeated. “Please. Just…until I fall asleep, if you don’t want to the whole night. I just…please stay.”

 

Another long pause. The vampire turned to face her fully, head cocked to the side. “You sure?”

 

“Yes. Please.” She patted the mattress beside her eagerly. “Please. I want you here.”

 

Spike inhaled sharply but didn’t say another word. He discarded his duster on the pile of clothes that he had removed from her earlier and hesitated, then crawled in. His arms came around her as they had been that morning. And yet, even with him pressed as closely as he was, holding her as he was, it still felt as though miles separated their course.

 

She ate her soup in silence, drank the broth when prompted, and sipped at her tea as much as she could. And there was nothing else.

 

Nothing else.

 

She was so sick of uncomfortable silences. The entire day had been filled with them. Compiled and shared from side to side until there was nowhere left to turn. When she wrapped her arms around his middle and rested her head on his stomach, his hold tightened but remained rigid. His body was with her—his mind far away.

 

Untouchable. Far from her.

 

This was not what she wanted. God, this was nowhere near what she wanted. She hated this. She hated touching him and not knowing whether he felt her or not. Not knowing if she had driven him to such a state where the cold had efficiently frozen a barrier between them; if she had, how could it possibly have happened so quickly?

 

Simple answer. She had wanted more space, and he was giving it to her. It was all because of that initial seed of doubt. Because of the jubilated mess that was today. That was the reason.

 

She needed them to get back where they had been when the sun rose. She needed it desperately. Having tasted both, she knew what she wanted.

 

And yet, that seed of doubt remained. Anchored exactly where Xander had placed it. A blockade between where she was now and the door she ached to go through. It made all the difference in the world.

 

Regardless of the consequences, she had to try. This at least. Get past this.

 

“Spike?”

 

The vampire stirred a bit; thumb stroking her forearm in a manner that was nearly habitual. “Mmm?”

 

Buffy drew in a deep breath and tightened her arms around him. “I’m sorry.”

 

The gentle caresses came to an abrupt halt. Spike swallowed and glanced down at her, as though for the first time taking in their proximity. “What for, sweetling?”

 

“For…everything, really.” She expelled a breath and shifted slightly against him. “I know what Xander tried to do today was deliberate, but it worked. I don’t even think his intent was to be…”

 

“A wanker?”

 

She grinned humorlessly and nodded. “Yeah. He’s just…he’s worried about me. About the decisions I make. I understand that. I mean, he’s seen a lot, you know? Been there with me through the good and the very, very bad. The things he said…they’re things I need to think about. But I shouldn’t have shut you out to do it.”

 

There was a long pause. Spike studied her face for endless seconds, the softness that she had cherished returning in increments. Flooding his eyes with hesitant tenderness. As though closing himself off meant it could no longer hurt. He swallowed hard and nodded a second later. “I know what I’m up against, luv,” he said. “What the bloody odds are. An’ I know that no one in your lot particularly cares for me. ‘S not like I planned for any of this to happen…it jus’ did. No countin’ for that.” He tore his eyes from hers. “I can’t help what I am, Buffy. I’ve been this since before you were a thought. An’ until this, I never thought I’d wanna be anythin’ more. I never…I never thought I could have these feelings for someone who’s not…” His jaw clenched.

 

“Dru?” Buffy whispered softly.

 

“Yeh.”

 

“You still love Dru.”

 

There was no immediate answer, though his eyes sparkled with a curious glow she had not seen before. “No,” he said a minute later. “Not in the way you’re thinkin’, no. A part of me will always be hers. She was my maker. She bloody well showed me the world.” A fond smile curled his lips. “She was amazin’, I’ll grant you that.”

 

Buffy sat up. She didn’t know how much of that she could tolerate. “All right, I get the picture.”

 

Spike grinned at her. With a certain boyish charm that she had taken for granted. “Jealous, pet?”

 

“I just don’t wanna know how wonderful your first love was. Or should I start talking about Angel so you can do a contrast and compare?”

 

“She wasn’ my firs’. An’ ‘f you start talkin’ about Angel, we’re done here.”

 

“See? Not of the fun, is it?”

 

Spike rolled his eyes. “For God’s sake, Buffy, ‘m tryin’ to tell you somethin’. Yeh. Dru was my everythin’ for a century. Got that. I thought she was my world. Treated her like it, too. Made a dark princess outta her. I was at her beck an’ call when she wanted me. A willin’ slave that’d do anythin’ to keep his master pleased. ‘S jus’ another thing I can’t change. Don’ know ‘f I would ‘f I could.”

 

“I don’t want to hear this.”

 

Buffy didn’t even realize that she had started to move again until she felt his iron grip on her arm, twisting her around so that they were face-to-face, eye-to-eye. There was a sudden flurry of passion embedded in his gaze. A spark from the nothing that had been there just a minute ago. It took her breath away.

 

“Listen to me, you little fool,” he rasped. “Yeh, I thought Dru was my world. Turns out she was jus’ my guide, you see. A bloody journey through dark to reach the light. My world is right here.” He pulled her even closer, his cool breath fanning her lips. “An’ now that I’ve tasted both, I’ll never mistake one for the other again.”

 

The next thing she knew, he had crushed her mouth to his with hunger that did not have a name. His hold on her skin was beginning to ache, but fuck if she didn’t care. For a blessed rush of all her fears, the entirety of her world shifted and she knew what she wanted. She knew—right now—what she wanted. And if this was going to be all there was to it, then god, was she going to take it. They deserved this. Just this. The rest could wait. Decisions could wait. All doubts put on reserve. This she wanted for tonight. She wrapped her arms around his neck, her lips and tongue battling his for dominance. The needy, raspy sounds that he rumbled sent shivers across her skin. The way he held her made her feel wanted in a way she never had before. As though the line between existence and nothing depended on his grasp on this reality.

 

It was a good thing that he remembered that she needed to breathe. She was too forgone to care anymore. And then—god—his mouth was on her throat. Smothering her skin with heated kisses, lapping at pulse points as the tight ball of need grew more persistent in the pit of her stomach. She ground her sodden center against the hardness at the apex of her thighs, earning heady gasps in her turn. Watching the glow behind his eyes go from desperate to lustful to finally in total awe. A hand had slid under her hem and was caressing her breast with soft, loving strokes that both warmed her heart and charged her body. And when he bent to her neglected breast and nipped at the fabric separating her skin from his mouth, she thought she would lose what little sensibility she had left.

 

Then he captured her right nipple between his thumb and forefinger and teased her with rubbing pinches. Buffy threw her head back, thrusting her hips into him. “Oh God,” she gasped, forehead pressed to his. “Oh my God.”

 

“You like that?”

 

She licked her lips and kissed him again, eyes opening slowly. His own were trained on her face, somewhere between adoration and arrogance. A grin tickled the corners of her mouth. Time to level the playing field a bit. She snaked a hand between them to grasp his denim clad cock as her own mouth descended on one of his flat, male nipples, biting hard enough to elicit a harsh, pleasured gasp. “What do you think?” she retorted, licking a path around the irritated skin.

 

“God, Buffy…”

 

“Not an answer.”

 

“Fuck.” He abandoned her breast with a sound of disappointment, right arm encircling her waist again—reaffirming his grip. Then she felt him tugging at the elastic of her panties just before his hand dipped in.

 

Buffy’s eyes went wide, her own hands abandoning their objective to steady herself at his forearms. “Oh God.” He was teasing the thin curls, sampling the moist tenderness with promised touches that were almost whispers against nothing at all. Her brow collapsed against his shoulder as she arched herself into his touch, small mewls of need rumbling through her throat. “Oh…holy…God.”

 

“Mmm…” He peppered her throat with kisses. “Only bad girls wet their beds, you know.” He aligned his index finger with her slit and edged upward just slightly. Enough to prompt an estranged bark of plea from her mouth. “An’ you’re very wet.”

 

Then, without ceremony, he slid two fingers into her. And they both gasped with pleasure.

 

“Spike,” she murmured, whispering kisses against his shoulder as she sobbed softly. She moved over him in slow, even strokes, her nails digging trenches into his forearms. The touch was tame compared to some others she had given and received, but it seemed forever had occurred between the boys in the past and the man that held her now. As though her body was finally rejoicing in finding whom it had sought all along. “Oh God.”

 

“Buffy…” He pressed a final kiss to her throat and withdrew his hand without further perusal. He ignored the murmur of complaint that she gave him in turn; instead rolled her over so that she was pressed against the mattress once more, his hungry eyes taking in the flush in her cheeks and the lust burning her gaze. “Buffy,” he said again, voice guttural. “’S this somethin’ to you? What are we doin’ here? God, tell me this is somethin’.” He dipped his head to kiss her again before she could reply, then whispered heatedly against her lips, “Please. God, please.”

 

She released a deep breath that offset the fierce pounding within her chest and took his face in her hands. “It’s something,” she replied. “I just…I’m so…”

 

Spike exhaled intensely and nodded, brushing a nearly chaste kiss across her forehead. “I know, pet.” He dropped his weight to his left arm, his free hand snaking down her body to tug at her panties. “’S this all right?”

 

The world seemed to pause and her eyes went wide. And then, despite all the heat burning her cheeks, Buffy balked. Sex had a tendency to screw things up, especially when neither one of them knew where they stood. Her hands dropped lifelessly to her sides, numb with the voices of angels shouting down demons as war threatened to break out in the calamity that was her baffled state of being.

 

The look that she reflected must have conveyed her panic. Spike’s eyes softened and he brushed a kiss across her temple. “I’m not gonna take anythin’ off,” he said. “Zipper stays up. We’re not ready for that…dunno ‘f we’ll ever be. I jus’…” He lowered his head to her stomach and took in her scent. “I wanna taste you. ‘F this is all I’m gonna get, I wanna have your taste to remember tonight by.”

 

Was she being so obvious about her indecision that he read this as potentially the only chance they would ever have at true intimacy? The thought, for how she was feeling now, was blatantly ridiculous, but she knew better than to trust the night when morning came to spread light over mistakes made in the dark. And yet, somehow, she didn’t think she could ever consider this a mistake. For everything and nothing at all.

 

Spike ran a hand down her middle to cup the apex of her legs, fingers dancing over her clit. The touch was so unexpected that she gasped and nearly bucked off the bed. She wasn’t used to reacting so violently to the smallest of caresses, and the notion was nearly threw her off her hinges. Granted, her sexual history left more than a little wanting. The feelings that the vampire inspired, for one, were unlike any she had ever experienced. She had never known lust to genuinely coincide with affection. Up until now, she hadn’t thought it possible.

 

“God, Buffy, ‘m gonna burst.” Spike lowered his head to her mound and inhaled. “You smell so good. So bloody good. Lemme have a taste. Jus’ a li’l taste. I’ll stop ‘f you don’ like it. Promise, I will.”

 

Buffy released a trembling breath and nodded before she knew what she was doing. She was rewarded with a heart-melting smile and the whisper of a kiss against her stomach. The vampire turned back to the clothed prize at his disposal, licking his lips in anticipation. A touch then, gentle. His hands slid up her thighs, his thumbs hooking under the thin fabric that separated them. There was a beat of hesitation—his eyes finding hers to scope out any last minute ploys at refusal.

 

He lingered a bit too long; she glanced back up at him and smiled. She didn’t say anything, but the smile was all he needed. A shiver coursed down his spine and he returned it best he could, afraid to reveal too much, to let her know how much this alone meant to him in the course of simple gestures. Instead, he focused his attention on dragging her panties down her legs; hailed them to his nose before tucking them securely in his back pocket.

 

When his eyes found her again, skin flushed, eyes wide, wearing nothing but his t-shirt and waiting for him on her bed, the world for all its worth seized to matter. “Good God,” he gasped, sliding forward, his arms worming under her thighs to arch her quim to his mouth. He inhaled her fragrance desperately, committing every turn to memory. Every spiced spark to tickle his senses. He couldn’t help the moans that scratched at his throat. He couldn’t say anything to convey the wealth of feeling bubbling within him, and he decided not to try. A shiver waved across his skin and he buried his face in her nest of curls with a trembling sigh. She couldn’t know what this was doing to him. Just this. The implicit trust in her smile, the baring of herself to him without qualm. It was too much. For everything that had happened today, it was too much. “Buffy.”

 

And it was the same in turn. Buffy had never felt so open, so exposed to anyone. Her initial instinct was to push him away and clamp her thighs shut with a bolt lock. No one had ever done this to her before. And true, while she had a vague idea of his intentions, the secrecies itself behind the act remained foreign to her. His awe, the way he was taking this so seriously, helped little in building her esteem. It seemed on the brink of impossibility for anyone to apply their mouth where he intended and enjoy it.

 

Another low moan rumbled across his body. “God, Buffy,” he gasped. “You’re so beautiful. So lovely.”

 

Her cheeks heated. Never had she considered that part of her body beautiful, and she found it odd that anyone would. “Thanks,” she replied lamely, shifting uncomfortably under his scrutiny. “Spike—”

 

And that was it. He was done talking. Done looking at her without touching her. Before another word could birth into the air, he lowered his head and licked a wet pathway up her slit, exciting a strangled, surprised cry from her lips that played harmoniously against his ears. He moaned into her favorably, his long tongue lapping up her ambrosia.

 

It was unbelievable. Her taste. Her responses. At the slightest touch, she writhed past the brink of control. Her hesitation only enhanced her charm. It wasn’t difficult to decipher that no one had ever done this to her before. No one had ever decided to worship her as she deserved. And God, he didn’t know whether to be angry or grateful.

 

“Spiiiike…”

 

He smiled, bracing her around the middle with one arm as the other hand itched up her leg to play. She took initiative at that, casting her legs astride his shoulders to rein him into her. Baring both hands free to do as he wished. His smile broadened at that, but he did nothing but murmur his approval. Turning back to her. Eager fingers parting her outer folds with muted delicacy, sliding nimbly into her haven as his mouth took to teasing her clit. He blew across her hypersensitive bundle, tended the tender skin that protected it with his tongue, and back again without a reprieve.

 

“So good,” he murmured into her, causing her to buck against his face. “Buffy…fuck, you taste so good.”

 

“Uhhh…”

 

His eyes trailed heatedly up the length of her, and he could no longer hold back. With a moan of capitulation, he captured her clit with his tongue and sucked the needy bundle into his mouth, enveloping and crashing wave upon wave of endless euphoria. He was here. God, he was really here. She was sobbing her pleasure because of him. He nibbled at her. Drank her in. Caressed her burning skin between his teeth with gentility that offset the passion coursing through his veins. His fingers slipped out of her, ignoring her whimper of protest. He was touching every part of her there was to touch; tasting every part of her there was to taste. Staking his claim without fangs. In the only way he could. In the only way she would let him before it was over.

 

“Oh Jesus!”

 

“Mmm,” he murmured in agreement. And his mouth returned to her before she could issue another word, nibbling softly at her moist folds. He grinned inwardly when she arched off the mattress again. Her hands had fisted in his hair, directing his mouth where she wanted it, and he obeyed willingly. He lapped at her, drank her in, treasured her flavor. Her warmth. The liquid aphrodisiac that she forfeited; his eternal fountain. It was pure Buffy, and it drove him wild.

 

The sound of his name colored the air once more. Panty. Hoarse. Her heated cries were becoming more and more desperate. Spike nuzzled her once and returned his attention to her clit; all sense of logic and reasoning flying out the window. His tongue enclosed around her once, twice, and drew her to his mouth once more. The moans echoing throughout her body shot directly to his crotch. He was painfully hard, his own body demanding release but suffering the pangs of rejection. He was too enraptured with her. Too captivated with her taste to ever let go. Every lick nailed another jolt into the coffin of finale. He couldn’t stop touching her.

 

“God,” he rasped. The sensations charged her enthusiasm further. They shared that, in retrospect. “My golden goddess.”

 

“Ohhhhh…”

 

“Taste so fucking good.”

 

She mewled his name again, her hips thrusting forward in a frenzy of unvoiced demand. And he caved willingly. His fingers found her clit and caressed her in roughened but similarly genteel circles of adoration, his tongue delving into the sweetness of her core. And he was lost forever. Simply that. The touch. Her nectar flowing into his mouth. He lapped her up, probing as deep as he could, stroking, finding that perfect spot within her. And he took. He took long rounds caressing her, his eyes rolling in the back of his head before falling shut at the wonder lain before him. He grasped her thighs when he sensed her reach precipice, drawing all her spendings into his mouth with a moan of surrender. And that was it. A whirlwind of sensation. He drank everything in. Every cry. Every arch. She sobbed her pleasure and it was music to his ears. Every sound to escape her throat a different epiphany to a world that no longer bothered to keep check. He felt his cells ready to combust simply by watching her. By knowing that she was screaming in effect to what he had done. That he had given her this. And it was everything. Everything. The picture of timeless perfection lodged within his memory.

 

Hers. He was eternally hers. Whatever she would have him for, he was hers. He knew no other haven than when he was with her. No other peace. It had taken him this long to find her, and damn if he ever let her go because of something as inherently stupid as disapproval from her friends. He was hers. And that was simply that.

 

It took a few minutes for either of them to come down. Spike rested his head against her stomach, panting harshly for reasons that were beyond him. Her fingers tunneled lovingly through his hair, her own gasps of recovery satisfying his every whim. Forever could pass just like this and he wouldn’t care. Buffy’s body was beneath his, the scent of her climax lingered in the air, and the worries that awaited him with sunrise were on perpetual hold.

 

This was peace.

 

And that, naturally, meant it couldn’t last.

 

“Spike,” came the tentative whisper. He felt a familiar pang stab his heart, but there was nothing he could do but comply. They had known going in that this was just tonight. The decisions of tomorrow were intact. This was a stolen hour. A few blissful minutes before reality stepped in. His time was not up for grabs.

 

It was with that resignation that he sat up, careful not to let her see his eyes. “Right then,” he whispered. “I—”

 

The next thing he knew, she mauled his mouth with hers, her arms thrown around his neck as she hauled herself into his lap. He was stunned stupid for a long minute, unsure of anything until hearing her moan around his tongue. And then all was left to instinct. He hugged her close, grinding his erection into her perfumed center with all the fervor he was still hesitant to express. With everything he could without revealing too much. Her mouth was enthusiastic against his, wrestling hot, needy kisses as her hands took chart down his body.

 

When her hand reached for his fly, though, his entire body froze.

 

No. Not like this. This was not what she wanted. Not tonight. It panged every nerve in his body, but he grasped her wrist and pulled away from her, searching her eyes with flecks of hope alongside the bittersweet taste of disappointment. “Kitten,” he whispered. “You do that, an’ you’re gonna have a monster on your hands.” He paused. “Literally.”

 

“It’s okay.”

 

“I go commando.”

 

“I was banking on that.”

 

A wave of panic crushed his system. While it was what he wanted more than anything, there were certain values of right and wrong to be adhered. Especially the level of respect she would have for him in the morning. Tonight was a break from all the rest. He didn’t want to ruin a beautiful encounter with sex that she would deem wrong when dawn approached. His heart couldn’t survive it. “This isn’t what you…I thought—”

 

Buffy smiled softly, caressing his face with her free hand as her other persistently tugged at the clasp on his trousers. “I’m not…doing that,” she said, a charming blush tinting her cheeks. “I just…I wanna do something…you—”

 

Ah. So that’s what this was. A gratuitous thank-you wank.

 

“Don’ worry ‘bout it.”

 

“But you…”

 

Her voice trailed off for what her eyes could illustrate. Spike hissed a sigh and followed her gaze with more of the same. “Yeh,” he murmured. “It happens. Happens all the time ‘round you, now that I think of it.”

 

“Then let me—”

 

“Nothin’ I can’t fix with my two hands. Buffy, you should really—”

 

“Let me do this. Please.”

 

It was the please that got him. Struck him as ironic though he would never laugh at her. The Slayer, sitting in his lap, her body warm and pliant from the orgasm he had given her, asking him if she could have him off as a token of her esteem. That, and then something else. Something more. A buried spark in her eyes that betrayed so much more the other.

 

When he refused to voice another protest, she accepted that as her go ahead, leveling her mouth to his again. She wrapped her free hand around his neck, pressing her brow intimately against his. And when he sprang into her warmth, they both moaned for the feel of it all. Her tentative fingers, so shy, so careful, running down the length of him in a way that turned him on more for its simplicity than any of the nasty, explicit acts he had locked away in his internal cupboard. The girl in his arms was pure sunshine. Burning him up so good that he didn’t care anymore.

 

Her eyes were closed. Her brow was pressed to his. She dipped her hand inward to caress his sac, her nails soft and exploratory. Her head arched slightly against him when he released a long moan, a smile tickling her lips. She cupped him with pristine tenderness, thumb rubbing circles into his sensitive skin with shy reserve that did not know her.

 

It dawned on him then. The intimacy of connection. His eyes glued to hers, closed as they were. Her sweat-laced forehead resting against his. Wanting that lasting fulfillment of their union. She was memorizing him as he had her. Committing his every contour to memory, similarly noting that tomorrow might bring with it a different tide. A new realization. A coming that would make this the only time they would have together. Her doubts were real. Very real. Her mind was confused and her heart was trying to stay out of the way.

 

But she wanted him. She wanted him with every inch of passion that he wanted her. And like him, she recognized the significance of this. Of just this. Of belonging for one night before the world came crashing back. And that was why she was doing this. For her sake as well as his. Because she wanted to. There was no gratitude in her touch—pure yearning at its best.

 

Buffy’s hand returned to his length, a quivering breath pressing past her lips. She leaned inward to taste his briefly before taking course in laps that marked him a lost man. Her thumb encircled the leaking head of his need with every pass; caressing him so gently he was afraid this would be over before granted time to start. And when he felt the hint of her sensitive wetness brushing over him, he clutched at her shoulders and gasped.

 

“Buffy—”

 

“Shhh…” She pressed her own hand between her legs, coating her skin with her juices before returning her touch to his aching cock. That line of torment surpassed for a whole new one. Spike grasped her hips and held, thrusting forward ever so-slightly into her hand. The feel of her essence on him was too much to bear. Her graceful fingers gliding up and down, shifting ever-so often to squeeze his sac. Up and down, again and again. Her thumb becoming more boisterous—pressing into his head, earning jerks and moans and whimpers and long mewls of her name with no relent. Her speed gained momentum. Grasping not too tightly, but not loose at all. Touching him with a blatant disregard for reservation. And never removing her brow from his. Keeping that intimacy. That touch. Kissing his lips every few seconds. Her eyes closed. Memorizing him.

 

It was too much. His hands dug into her skin when he felt himself about to tumble over. And without a word, she fisted the material of her t-shirt and nodded encouragingly, welcoming his ejaculate into the soft cotton that surrounded her. Spike abandoned her hips and grasped her arms again, holding her fiercely to him as the waves crashed and receded. Too much still. Too much. Perfection.

 

Buffy.

 

“Oh God,” he whispered, voice trembling. “Oh fucking Christ.”

 

She was quivering, too. Shaking to her foundation. And slowly, allowing the minutes to tick by with their solace, she opened her eyes, finding his intent upon her.

 

They stared at each other for endless seconds. Passing on what words could not be trusted with. Then he drew her near and kissed her. Tenderly. Lovingly. Conveying the ache he felt rising in his chest the same as before.

 

Their stolen moments.

 

“Thank you,” she said. He nearly chuckled in disbelief, but there was something serious in her tenor that could not be laughed at. “For trusting me.”

 

Spike licked his lips, not knowing what to say—not knowing if he should say anything at all. He nodded in place of words, tucking himself back into his pants before he could grow hard again. Now with their scents lingering together, it was difficult not to imagine what it could be like. Every day like this. Every moment a captured second in unending ecstasy. Together.

 

But for now, they had this. Tonight. They had tonight. This quiet before the storm until the sun rose. When they would be strangers again.

Chapter Twenty-Six

 

 

By the time the sun was peeking over the horizon, Buffy was all but convinced that the entire encounter had been a dream. She awoke alone in her bed, covers pulled pristinely over her lithe form. The clothes that had been piled at the floor were gone—shelved appropriately or consigned to the hamper that they were collecting for the Laundromat that remained far down their list of priorities. Spike’s duster was gone as well. The bowl of soup she had consumed after the demon attack as well as the cup of tea that she never really got around to drinking had also been cleared away. The t-shirt that the vampire dressed her in the night before had been replaced with one of her own; and for that, she could understand. They had somewhat soiled his.

 

Her panties were missing. That was the only spark that gave way to the prior night’s validity. And while it hurt that Spike had not opted to remain in her bed to enjoy the morning together, she couldn’t entirely say she was surprised. Or that she blamed him, for that matter. What was stolen in the evening hours could not be readily trusted at daybreak. Her own feelings notwithstanding, he had to be as confused as ever for all the mixed signals she was giving him.

 

The townhouse was eerily silent as she moved through with her normal routine. Spike’s bedroom door was closed but she knew he wasn’t there. No, the house was empty. Cold and empty. No pancakes being made in the kitchen. No snuggles, no teasing, no kissage—morning breath included. Nothing.

 

Buffy’s heart sank. She was edging toward complete depression. What she and Spike had shared last night was perhaps the most sensuous experience of her life. With everything else she had done, seen, shared with others, there had never lingered that sense of security. That feeling of complete absolution. They had held each other in the aftermath of something beautiful only to quiver at the possibility that it was the first and last. That there would never be such a homecoming again.

 

Truthfully, she had expected the entire thing to confuse her even more. With the way she was feeling before patrol last night, arriving at such a sudden epiphany seemed unlikely. Seemed beyond the reach of her conscious. And really, she didn’t know what had changed it for her. Perhaps it was the knowledge that despite all else, Spike was there. He was always there. He had come after her last night when he had every reason not to, and he had done it out of a sense of protection rather than intruding upon the space she had been dead-set to put between them.

 

Buffy made herself a bowl of cereal, forgoing milk and deciding against the group sitch. She hadn’t gotten much sleep for reasons beyond the obvious and didn’t particularly feel like seeing Xander or anyone else who would look upon her critically. So, instead, she curled up on the couch and flipped on the television, hoping for something that would call her mind to distraction.

 

When she landed on CSPAN, she stopped. On screen was the Press Secretary for the President—CJ Cregg. Donna had mentioned her a time or two in passing; it was amazing how much interest simply knowing the people involved could prompt her focus on politics.

 

CJ wasn’t talking about politics, though. She was talking about Natchez.

 

“For those of you who didn’t hear me the first, second, and third time, no, we have no idea why the town has virtually shut itself off. And no—” She took a minute to point at one of the reporters that was off screen, “—we don’t know when we can expect an update from the Communications Director or the Deputy Chief of Staff. Rest assured, we have plenty of armed militia looking into the matter. When I actually have information to give you, I promise you’ll be the first to know.” A low murmur ran through the crowd at that; the ironic sarcasm in the comment not lost on anyone. “Katie.”

 

As the selected reporter continued with her question, Buffy flicked off the television and climbed to her feet. Staying here wasn’t going to get anything done. Whatever was going on with her and Spike would have to wait. They had a situation, and she had to be a part of it.

 

She was the Slayer. Personal problems were infinitely on hold. Granted, when things weren’t going well in her personal life, her life as the Slayer tended to suffer in turn.

 

The blonde expelled a deep breath, dumping the remaining contents of her cereal bowl into the trash and cast her dish into the sink. The last time her emotions played a heavy role in her duties, the ending result was catastrophic. For anything else, she wouldn’t let herself go through that again. She refused to put herself in such a place where she had to choose between love and duty.

 

No. Not now. Now was a time for work. Not a time for hiding in corners and wishing the world away. One never knew when the PTB might take that seriously.

 

She decided to go into the main house through the connecting door in the back to avoid bringing attention to herself. Though by the time she arrived, the dining room had been abandoned; left to one of the two maids she had met since they initially checked in. The party itself had relocated to the front parlor where they were discussing the current conclusions in animate, however lowered voices.

 

Another sigh escaped her throat. There was no use in avoiding them. With a polite nod to the Millers, who had smiled and greeted her upon entering but somehow escaped her discernment, she moved stealthily through the dining room and slipped into the conversation.

 

It was futile trying to go unnoticed. The minute she pressed herself against the wall, a violent undercurrent of raging blue sucked in her gaze, and her knees sagged, threatening to give way. His eyes had found hers immediately, of course. Burning her to the core. So much storming behind a raging blue sea. He froze and melted her within the same beat; the wealth of emotion plaguing him made her want to break all protocol and bound across the room and pepper his face with reassuring kisses. It was overwhelming; never had she thought that a simple look from Spike would ever affect her so profusely.

 

But there was nothing to do; nothing she could do. Not with everyone here and watching and matters of more worldly importance at hand. Her sudden appearance had pushed her back to the spotlight. It took a minute to realize that a question had been aimed in her direction.

 

Buffy blinked and smiled apologetically. She didn’t even know who had asked it. “What?”

 

Xander smiled at her a bit from his vantage point across the room. She didn’t like the way he kept shifting his weight from one foot to the other; it gave her the impression that he was waiting to whip the blinds behind him away to fry the resident vampire once and for all. Granted, despite however much her friend disapproved of Spike, he would never do such a thing without ample motive. And however irrational Xander might have been at times, the consenting relationship between two adults—regardless of societal status—did not fall under the category of ample motive.

 

“We were just wondering if you were okay and all,” he said. “Spike told us that you had a rough night and planned on sleeping it off.”

 

The Slayer’s eyes went wide. “What?”

 

“The buruburu, pet,” the vampire intervened softly, eyes never flinching from hers. “I thought it’d be best ‘f you stayed in bed today. Gathered your strength, an’ what all.”

 

Oh. “Oh, yeah. Right.” She crossed her arms and edged inward. “I do feel kinda funky, but otherwise, on the side of good.” She made a point of saying that last while keeping her gaze intent upon the Cockney; it was her misfortune that he chose that moment to look away. Before she could convey anything with success. “It was bad last night, but…” She shrugged. “If Spike hadn’t found me, I’d be Slayer chow.”

 

Donna frowned. “You went by yourself?”

 

Willow’s eyes snapped to Spike’s face. “You didn’t tell us that.”

 

The vampire didn’t reply. He kept his gaze stoic and glued to the carpet. The uncharacteristic silence about him was making Buffy nervous. And from the confused stares from the others, she wasn’t the only one.

 

“You went out by yourself?” Sam asked. “With everything that’s going on? I thought Mr. Giles—”

 

Xander chuckled wryly. “The Buffster isn’t one for following rules.”

 

There was a snort from his right. “That’s reassuring. Isn’t she the one that saves the world?”

 

Donna rolled her eyes. “She’s a woman of the world, Josh. She doesn’t need a supervisor.”

 

“Case in point by the way the vampire had to come to the rescue, right?”

 

Buffy’s eyes flared. “Hey! Doing things my way gets the world saved, all right? Hasn’t failed me yet.” She wet her lips at the challenging look Spike sent her way and shrugged her shoulders in concession. “There are just times when I…need a little help.”

 

“The vampire coming to the rescue,” Josh said again.

 

The Slayer glanced to Sam. “Can we muzzle him?”

 

“Trust me,” Donna intervened. “It won’t help.”

 

“Buffy,” Wesley said, holding up a hand to motion for the others observance to silence. “Can you tell us what happened? Spike claimed it was a buruburu that attacked you—”

 

“And at this point, I’m not ready to disagree with him.”

 

“Well, I am. Buruburus are native to Japan, you see. The likelihood of one being here is…well, minimal at best.”

 

Spike heaved a sigh and rolled his eyes. “Tried tellin’ these wankers that ‘ve been alive long enough to know what a bleedin’ buruburu looks like. Even described it to Anyanka, an’ she said I saw right.” He trained his gaze on Harris. “Also mentioned that she used a couple durin’ her vengeance days. Nice slow way to die, don’ you think, Stay Puft?”

 

“Shut up.”

 

“Where is Anya?” Buffy asked. “And Giles?”

 

“Anya’s going to be sleeping until next Thursday for as late as she came in last night,” Xander replied. “Remind me to never complain about the length of research parties again.”

 

“Giles is still cramming down the text,” Willow explained. “He found a few nonsensical passages and he’s decided that since he’s in a rut that he needs to punish himself with no food or sleep.”

 

“Poor guy,” Donna said. “We should go and give him a break.”

 

Josh arched a brow. “Yeah, you do that.”

 

“I don’t think he’d be much for breakage right now, anyway,” the Witch replied with a small smile. “He’s all in the groove. We should pop by and see if we can help, though.”

 

Xander raised his hand slowly. “Been there, tried that. I think he actually threw a shoe at me.”

 

Sam nodded to Willow. “We can go by. See if he needs help. And I need to check up on Toby.”

 

“I think Toby’s way of coping with all of this is to not cope.” Josh glanced to Buffy. “He’s probably so far into his denial that he’s convinced himself Herbert Hoover is President.”

 

“Then we are in trouble,” the blonde assistant remarked.

 

There was a thoughtful pause. “I believe that if anyone is to help Giles sort through the mess, it should be Donna and myself,” Wesley said before turning to her. “I understand that you are good with research, even if this is a tad out of your field.” She nodded her compliance, and he was satisfied with that. “As for the rest of us, I am under the impression that it would be better if Willow stayed here and attempted another location spell.” He ignored the looks and few moans that the suggestion bore. “I understand that we have had little success in the past, but a part of knowing what Quirinias wants is understanding why he used Faith to bring us here.”

 

“An’ why there’s suddenly Japanese demons runnin’ around,” Spike muttered.

 

A look of extremely schooled patience overwhelmed the former Watcher’s face. “We do not know that for sure.”

 

“I bloody well know it.”

 

“I don’t think you—”

 

“Look, mate. You’re not the one who ripped it off the Slayer’s back with your bare hands an’ tore it to bloody shreds an’—wait a sec.” The vampire’s eyes went wide with confusion, meeting Buffy’s gaze in a hurry. “How’d I do that? The chip din’t fire. I jus’ ripped it off you an’—”

 

“The chip doesn’t work on demons,” Josh intervened. “I thought we covered this yesterday.”

 

Buffy pursed her lips sheepishly. “We did…I just forgot to tell him.”

 

There was a long pause. Spike was looking at her in a way he never had before; she didn’t know what to make of it. Whether it was of question or accusation. He was shielding his emotions well, and she could almost hate him for it.

 

Either way, it was better to amend. “It wasn’t on purpose,” she said. “I just…had a lot on my mind when I got in last night. Then I went patrolling and there was the thing and I…Spike, your chip doesn’t work.”

 

The silence stretched deeper—the others now audience members, watching a soap opera of events unfold. She really didn’t know what to make of his expression; his eyes remained as hard as rocks. However, despite all else, there was a light of humored adoration in his voice when he spoke. The same that finally sparked his gaze as he tilted his head, watching her with some intensity. “Thanks, luv,” he replied. “Got the memo.”

 

“So…” Sam began slowly, testing the waters. “Your chip didn’t go off, and you just now noticed it?”

 

“Was a bit distracted last night, mate.”

 

Buffy’s cheeks went red and she looked down in a hurry.

 

“The Slayer was sickly an’ all.”

 

Donna was looking at the vampire with a new form of admiration, her round eyes as large as saucers. There was a sort of girlish fondness in her expression; one that Buffy couldn’t help but envy. This was a woman who had no reason to hate vampires. She could be as open and candor as she pleased. “So you jumped in to save her even though you knew it would cause you pain?” she asked, her voice wound as though she had just watched the end of Steel Magnolias. “That is the sweetest thing I—”

 

“Donna,” Josh berated, a bit more snappish than intended.

 

“It didn’t cause him pain,” Xander argued. “The chip only works on humans.”

 

“He didn’t know that at the time.”

 

Spike curled his fingers into the cushions of the settee and threw his head back in aggravation. “All I want to know is why in God’s name there’s a bleedin’ demon runnin’ ‘round out there that should be an’ ocean an’ a fuck away.”

 

Wesley held up his hand. “We don’t know that—”

 

“For the last time, you ignorant sod. Yes. We. Bloody. Do. Buffy din’t see it, I did. Can’t spot buruburus unless you’re somethin’ a li’l less than human, right?” He rolled his eyes, reaching for his cigarettes. “It was drainin’ her strength. Made it so I was the warm one, an’ left a nasty cut on her backside from where I yanked it off.”

 

Xander’s eyes went wide. “How would you kn—”

 

“What, Harris? You prefer I let her bleed all night?”

 

“Yeah, like Slayer blood is really something you’d object to.”

 

“Well, truth be told, mate, I’d be less likely to object to Harris blood right now for all the trouble you’ve caused.”

 

“Trouble?! I—”

 

This was going to explode if she didn’t do something.

 

“Guys!” Buffy yelled, throwing her hands in the air. “Stop. This is getting us nowhere. Yes, Xander. Spike took care of me last night. I was cut. I was bleeding. It hurt. He fixed it. And no, not that it’s any of your business; I didn’t give him a taste of Slayer blood as thanks. And no, he didn’t ask for one. So drop it.” She pivoted at the heel to face Wesley. “Look, I have no idea what this backarack thing is or why it might be here, but if Spike says he knows what they are, look like, and got as up close and personal as he did with it last night, I’m gonna go out on a whim and say he knows what he’s talking about. So maybe instead of arguing whether or not he has eyes and knows how to use them, you should focus more on the ‘figuring out why the hell it’s here’ part of your job. Okay?”

 

She sealed it with a look she knew Wesley had seen before. One of those ‘you know what happens when you fuck with me’ glares that had him complying immediately. As for the Senior Staffers, Josh just looked at her dumbly; Sam looked uncomfortable. Donna flashed her an encouraging smile, then turned to the former Watcher to confirm what they were going to spend the day doing.

 

Spike flashed her a grateful smile, but didn’t say anything else. Rather, he rose to his feet as the group dispersed and trailed out without another word. She felt bereft the minute he was gone.

 

With whatever they had shared the night before, there had to be some way to convince him that it was what she wanted from now on. Him and herself. There would be no first, last, and only with them. Not when she felt the attachment growing to dangerous proportions.

 

The vow of an hour ago was useless. Her personal life was what commanded her abilities as the Slayer. There was a medium out there; she knew it. And without Spike with her, finding it would be one of the more trying endeavors of her experience.

 

She just hoped these petty distractions didn’t get them all killed.

 

*~*~*

 

That mindset lasted for a few hours before she gave up completely.

 

There was certain logic in turning to liquor when things started going south of the border in the not-so-pleasant way. If she stopped to consider the irony, Buffy was certain she would be in stitches.

 

The day had passed slowly, ticking away with a monotone of growing agony. A series of duties dispersed among the willing. Donna and Wesley had been gone for hours now; Sam and Willow following the results of the location spell to the corners of god-knows-what in this forsaken town. She supposed there was a certain amount of respect to be had for a man willing to track down the person who had—all too recently—abused him in a degradingly intimate fashion. Either that, or he was too enamored with Willow to care at this juncture. They were gone, now, and that was that. Away from prying eyes. Able to be together without inspiring mass amounts of disapproval.

 

Buffy was happy for her friend—she really was. With whatever was going between the two, it was more than obvious that it was mutual. The redhead had given up denying her attraction, and while she likely had miles to go until she was completely over Oz, she was happy now. In spite of all the bad, she was happy.

 

And no one would ever think of objecting to that, the Slayer reflected bitterly. No matter that Sam was at least fifteen years older than the Witch, despite his youthful good looks. No matter that a country separated them, making any sort of relationship virtually impossible—if they should walk away from this alive. No. Oh no. Everyone was happy for Willow. She had found a link to love again after suffering heartache that had nearly shoved her over the edge. It was all good, because Sam was not a demon or a vampire or some other nasty. All other complications could be safely discarded for the warmth of a beating heart and the active race of a humanly pulse.

 

Buffy was so sick of doing what her friends thought she should do. Would approve of. She and Xander had taken another daytime patrol and—predictably—he had started in on Spike again. Granted, in a manner that was a tad more discreet, but condescending nonetheless. It didn’t matter—she didn’t listen. Her thoughts had trained steadily on the platinum vampire she was leaving behind, and how all he had told her was to come home at nightfall. That if she wanted to patrol, she was not going without him.

 

Then he had turned at the heel and closed himself inside his room before she could get in a word. Xander’s arrival had made it impossible to follow. And that was that.

 

Spike had not mentioned last night. It was as though it had not taken place at all. And had she not known him so terribly well, the notion would have burned her for an entirely different reason. But no. For the storm in his eyes, the quiet surges of his despondent disposition, she knew he was just as miserable as she was.

 

Though instead of talking, he had already thrown up his defenses in anticipation of her rejection. He was just as bad at jumping to conclusions as she was in that regard. No talk. Just run for the fear of being cut.

 

And the only thing keeping her from being the runner—from leaping into his arms was the fear of the fall. How badly she would hurt; how badly he would hurt. The glances of shielded disapproval that would shine behind the eyes of all her friends. That blessed unwillingness to understand.

 

This was crazy. The entire thing was tumbling out of control. She had a job to do. A duty, and yet all she could think of was making an impossible situation possible.

 

So here she was. Drinking her sorrows away. At the barstool of some establishment Under The Hill in Natchez, Mississippi. A few stray locals giving her long, curious looks. She understood. Natchez Under The Hill was not known for having the greatest reputation, especially at night. The small string of dining establishments and pubs; the only real bad part of town. Yes, a single white female of her size and perceptible strength? Foolish. But she didn’t care if the world saw her slaying right now. She needed liquor. She needed the world around her to dissolve, and it was easier than she thought it would be. Beer bad? She wasn’t drinking beer. And despite the image of reservation, the toothy bartender was more than willing to oblige.

 

His leers were a small price to pay in drowning her shattered image of perfection.

 

*~*~*

 

Really, it had seemed like a good idea at the time.

 

Funny how the world could get turned upside down with the ingredients of two consenting adults, a pile of textbooks, and a British accent. She wasn’t even aware of when the conversation had taken a turn, or who had leaned in first. And granted, while Donna hardly ever concealed her attraction for foreign men, she had not foreseen this end to the day when awaking that morning.

 

She would deny the notion that she ever indulged in casual sex, though it was far from true. She tried to be careful on who she let into her bed, but more over, her perception of the right man was distorted for the ease of melting at a smile, a joke, or lively conversation. The notion of casual sex disturbed her, but it was turning into more and more of what she received. Casual. Meaningless. And really, if this thing with the book and Sam’s fumble into ending the world, leaping into bed with the gorgeous man at her left didn’t exactly strike her as a bad idea.

 

Only if the world was ending, this was not where she wanted to be. All respect to Wesley, it was not even close to where she wanted to be. This lying together, side-by-side, ticking the minutes away—the quiet was nice, but it wasn’t what she needed. What her subconscious craved.

 

A revelation that only an apocalypse could bring.

 

This picture lacked more than something. It lacked an entire person.

 

“Oh my God,” she said, eyes fixated on the ceiling.

 

There was a rustle beside her. With whatever her epiphany included, she could not deny that the man looked very scrumptious when unruffled. “Yes,” he agreed. And her heart sank a bit. His tone in itself gave way to something he likely didn’t even realize.

 

She was going to be the man in this scenario.

 

A million things ran through her mind—what to tell him, how to thank him and apologize for what had happened. Give him the dreaded ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ speech while knowing perfectly well that it was a combination. It was her for her stupidity, and him for not being who she wanted him to be. And god, why couldn’t he be who she wanted him to be? Her life would drop from complication and everything would be all right.

 

For whatever she intended to say, though, her mind kept returning to one irrefutable conclusion. Refusing to stray—needing to be said. “I’m in love with Josh.” And, of course, the second the alien words hit the air, masked in her voice, her revelation turned to horror and her eyes went wide. “No, I’m not!” Funny how her protest sounded wrong in the midst of everything so thoroughly screwed up in the realization itself. Donna’s eyes fell shut and she groaned her frustration. “Yes, I am. Oh God. Oh God. Why me?”

 

The left side of the bed fell silent for a long minute, waves of dejection rolling palpably into the air. Her heart ached.

 

Perhaps that had not been the best way to tell him.

 

“Well,” Wesley said slowly after a long minute, pride broken but expression strangely void of surprise. “Glad I could help you reach this conclusion.”

 

The words would have been bitter from anyone else. He seemed genuine, if not a little wounded.

 

Donna didn’t look at him. She couldn’t bear it.

 

In love with Josh Lyman.

 

How was that for fucked up?

 

*~*~*

 

It had been dark outside for almost ten minutes, and Buffy wasn’t home yet.

 

All things considered, Spike felt he was handling his frustrated concern in a calm, adult-like manner. Pacing back and forth in the dining area, sending accusing glares to the door every few seconds as though a piece of wood was responsible for holding the Slayer up in any regard.

 

Five more minutes and he would tear the bloody town apart. For the second day in a row, he had ignored his instincts, shoved logicality aside, and sent her out by herself. With her friends. Without giving themselves the chance to talk about what had happened last night. He knew on some level he was being unreasonable, but for everything, the loom of her impending rejection bore his heart to pieces. To actually hear her voice it would unravel him completely. But he wasn’t the type to wait it out—to avoid an issue like this. There was just something about her that caused all his hinges to become radically unglued.

 

Another fiery glance to the door. Nothing still.

 

He was going to break something.

 

The minute he had her back here, he was going to kiss her senseless, yell at her, kiss her again, and then they would talk. All reservations aside. They would talk. They had to now. This constant avoidance was getting them nowhere. It had to be all or nothing. Right now. Tonight.

 

And by God, if she did not walk through that forsaken door within the next ten seconds, the town would be a windstorm of chaos before he was through with her.

 

So preoccupied was he with the door that it was almost a surprise when it actually opened. It was even more a surprise when a very inebriated Buffy stumbled through. The scent hit him six ways from Saturday, but was no match for the bewildered, glossy look behind her eyes and the predatorily silly smile upon her lips. He rushed forward to catch her as her body threatened to waver, all reserve immediately shoved aside.

 

Anger gave way to apprehension. Confused emotions plus liquor spelled bad in ten different languages. And from the look in her eyes, he received the distinct warning that he was about to find out what sort of drunk Buffy was.

 

Oh. Fuck.

 

Spike gulped audibly. “You’re late, pet,” he said.

 

And that was all he got out. The Slayer’s eyes blazed with sudden feral and she was on him. Over him. Her legs wrapped around his waist, pulling their pelvises together as her mouth hungrily attacked his.

 

Spike umphed, his arms coming around her in a manner that was purely instinct as she pushed him into the den. Her hands clawed at his shirt, her tongue battling his as he drank her in, almost subconsciously. She had him on the couch within seconds, her lips dancing down his throat as she managed to yank his hem from the waistband of his trousers.

 

Bad had turned to worse quite successfully. His body quivered with alarmed arousal as his mind duked out between his greater and lesser evils. The scent rising from her center was going to drive him out of his head. His hands blindly sought her wrists, but she was moving too fast for him. The sweetness of her kisses, drunk as they were, drowning out wave after wave of objection until her mouth was away from his and dancing provocatively down his throat.

 

Spike threw his head back and gasped, doing his damndest not to arch his erection into the welcoming apex of her legs. “Buffy,” he panted. “Buffy, God, you have to stop.”

 

“No,” she replied stubbornly. Had she not been writhing like a bitch in heat on his lap, he would accuse her of sounding like an insolent child. In the meantime, she had evidently given up on his shirt; decided it was easier to rip the fabric down the middle. “Want. I want now. Want you.”

 

“Buffy, you’re—”

 

“Stupid. Buffy stupid. Want Spike.”

 

He laughed nervously, battling her hands. “Well, then she’s not stupid, is she? Let’s let her have Spike when she’s nice an’ sober, savvy?”

 

A growl rumbled in the back of her throat. “No. Have Spike now!” Her teeth latched onto one of his nipples, and she ignored his answering howl—her hand skating down to the buckle of his belt. “Don’t you want me?”

 

“Fuck, Buffy!”

 

She grinned happily. “That’s the idea.”

 

Spike released several harsh breaths, glancing down at her in awe. “Yeh…” he said slowly, enjoying the view for a few wonderful seconds before he felt her hand enclose around his cock. God, he hadn’t realized how fast she could move. “No. No! Buffy, no! We can’t do this now. ‘S wrong, ‘s—”

 

“Betcha wanna feel how wet I am.”

 

“Stop it!”

 

“Spiiiike.” She bounced a little in his lap, eliciting several tortured moans. Her fingers were skating over his erection thoughtlessly, running laps that somehow remained tender despite all else. “I don’t wanna be stupid anymore. I don’t care. I don’t care at all. Let’s just do this. You and me. Come on.”

 

He could nearly weep with irony. “No.”

 

There was a grumble. Buffy stuck out her lower lip. “Why not?” she demanded, grip constricting around him. “I want you in me.”

 

“I wanna be in you, too, baby.” Spike’s eyes were aimed at the ceiling, his hands holding her hips steady. “Not like this. Not with you pissed outta your mind. Fuck if I let us get this far for some bloody one nighter where I end up at the business end of a stake tomorrow mornin’.”

 

Her mouth was at his throat again. “I wouldn’t stake you,” she murmured. “Never could. Not my Spike.”

 

She really had no conception on just how much hers he was.

 

“Buffy—”

 

Her hands abandoned him for seconds to whisk her own top over her head. Spike pursed his lips and refused to look at her, even when she took the hands that were at her thighs and placed them on her laced breasts, encouraging him to squeeze. Her own grasp had returned to his aching cock before he had time to miss her touch. Sweet agonized bliss, this was. A warm, wet, willing Slayer bouncing on his lap, her mouth dancing down his skin and suspiciously nearing the swell of his need and he was frozen.

 

This was not the Slayer, he reminded himself. This was Buffy. The woman he loved. The woman he would not take advantage of just because she was a horny drunk.

 

But for the way she was sliding off his lap and nuzzling his belly, he had to do something now.

 

“Buffy.” Spike’s hands shot to her arms and he hauled her back up. “No. We can’t. You’re pissed.”

 

“Nope.”

 

“Drunk.”

 

“Not drunk.” Oh sweet Jesus, she was reaching for the fastening on her own jeans now. He was a goner. “Want happies. Want Spike happies. Wanna give me happies?”

 

He was not strong enough to push her off; inebriated or not, the grip she could maintain with one hand still out-powered him two to one. And every time he came close, the chip was there to remind him just how human she was. Even still, that wouldn’t stop him. He wasn’t going to take advantage of her and blame the chip when she screamed her fury the next morning. He wasn’t going to throw everything away for a quick shag that would be sloppy rather than memorable. He refused for this to be it. They had bollixed up somewhere along the way, and it was time to fix it. If he couldn’t push her off himself, he would get some help. It was that or have her hate him in the morning. So bloody unfair.

 

His hand shot for the phone. How fucking embarrassing was this?

 

The minute he had the receiver in his hands, he was at a loss. Who in the world would he call? Xander would stake him if he saw them together, despite the drunken state of his friend. Anya wouldn’t care, always an enthusiast of orgasms. He didn’t want Willow to see the Slayer like this, and Wes…

 

“Bloody hell!” he howled, doing little to scare her off his lap as he furiously punched in the number for the main office. Buffy was becoming more intent on having him off, her hand moving over his erection as the other kept him still. “Get me Sam Seaborn!” he snarled at whoever answered. “NOW!”

 

Five minutes later, there was a knock at the front door. Ten seconds after that, Sam and Josh walked into the room, looking more than bemused.

 

If she noticed the sudden audience, Buffy did not show it.

 

“Having problems?” the Deputy Chief of Staff asked with a ridiculous smirk.

 

“Get her off me before I rip his balls off an’ shove ‘em down your throat, chip or no chip.”

 

Sam, thankfully, was all business. He looked a little embarrassed at seeing the Slayer all but naked waist-up, but did not look at her in a way that would surely mean his death the minute she was safely subdued. “Come on,” he said to Josh, moving forward. “You take one arm, I’ll take the other.”

 

“Never thought I’d meet a vampire that couldn’t handle his women,” came the much-too-amused retort from the other man. “Or a Slayer that can’t hold her liquor.”

 

The Deputy Communications Director gave him a long look. “Are you saying she has a sensitive system?” he asked. “Because that would be calling the kettle black on your behalf.”

 

For whatever reason, that seemed to snap some semblance of recognition into the writhing Slayer. She turned dazedly the next second, as though just registering that others were in the room. “Ohhhh,” she said, blinking slowly. “When’d you get here?”

 

Sam pursed his lips and politely picked up her discarded shirt. “Come on, Buffy,” he said. “We’re gonna put you in bed, all right?”

 

Her eyes went wide and she glanced back to the vampire worriedly. “Spike?”

 

“Cover up, sweetling,” he said, tension evaporating. At least she had enough sense to let up when others were present. There was hurt buried in her eyes and something else he couldn’t quite suss out. Something he would have to deal with come dawn, no doubt. If there was any chance in hell that he could look at her after tonight. “We’ll talk ‘bout this in the mornin’.”

 

There was a long minute; her eyes went wide as though realizing for the first time what she had been doing since she arrived. “Oh God,” she said. “Oh God.”

 

“Shhh, pet, s’okay.”

 

“Spike, I—”

 

He nodded at the Deputy Communications Director. They were not having this conversation or anything else with an audience. And he certainly wasn’t going to make her concentrate as she drifted out of a drunken stupor. “Go with Sam, luv,” he said softly. “He’s gonna put you in bed, right?” Then, by suggestion alone, his eyes set into a fierce glower and he turned to the man with more than an air of warning. “You try anythin’ an’ I’ll—”

 

Josh glared at him. “Sam wouldn’t put any moves on your girlfriend,” he spat indignantly. “Who the fuck do you think you are?”

 

The other man cleared his throat. “Josh, it’s fine.”

 

“No, it’s not. This jackass told us to come over here and help him out, and now he’s threatening you if you make a move when you’re the one practically engaged to that redhead and he’s the one that had her on his lap two seconds ago.” He shook his head. “You got real balls, you know?”

 

“Mine could only be real, Curly. Why? Did you not get a good peek a minute ago?”

 

“I swear to—”

 

“Josh!”

 

Spike sighed diplomatically and released his hostility. “Jus’ watchin’ out for my girl, mate.”

 

“Then why don’t you put her to bed? Don’t you trust yourself?”

 

A sharp titter ran through his throat. He had called them for that very reason, hadn’t he? “With her?” Spike retorted, eyes lingering on Buffy as she accepted Sam’s hand and allowed him to help her toward the back. “Never.”

 

For whatever reason, that seemed to neutralize Josh. The look of angered defense melted and they were left to themselves for the few uncomfortable minutes that Sam spent tucking Buffy into bed.

 

When he finally spoke, there was an air of resignation in his voice. The sort that released former grudges and accepted the larger sense of apathy alongside shades of depression. Josh collapsed into the chair on the other side of the room and dropped his head into his hands. “This is fucked up,” he said. “This is all so completely and irreversibly fucked up.”

 

Spike smiled dryly and nodded. “You have no bloody idea.”

 

*~*~*

 

In a pub not too far away, Giles was nodding at the bartender to refill Toby’s drink as he toasted his own to nothing at all. They had been there for an hour or so; the Watcher drawn from his research by the sound of a small bouncy ball banging against his hotel room in summons. Evidently, the Communications Director was over his internal crisis and desperately in need of a wasted night. The bouncy ball was simply the way to find a suitable drinking pal.

 

“The world is ending, you know,” Giles said, wincing as the liquor hit his tongue. “It’s all ending. It will be over soon; humanity as we know it is infinitely buggered.”

 

There was a long pause. Toby was studying the bottom of his shot glass as though surprised it existed. “Republicans will blame us,” he said a minute later.

 

“Most likely,” the other man agreed.

 

And they drank.

 

 

 

Chapter Twenty-Seven

 

 

“I swear to God, if they make me do one more location spell before this trip is through, I’m going to turn them all into newts.”

 

Willow expelled a deep, tremulous sigh as she flopped down onto the settee in the main parlor. It occurred to her fleetingly that such candor and disrespect for the furniture was something she would have once looked down upon, but the Wensel House had nearly become home. The dazzling interior no longer had any supreme affect on her, the novelty having worn off for something less than remarkable. She was somewhat disappointed with herself in that regard. The house was not something to familiarize herself with; it was one of the Natchez treasures and was not to be domesticated, especially by guests. However, what was done was done. For now it was home; at home, she flopped onto sofas without second thought.

 

There was a short laugh. She glanced up and met Sam’s eyes and, as was rapidly becoming habitual, found her insides melting into all sorts of warm gooey goodness. He was such a doll. A soft cuddly teddy bear, only the kind she wanted to do more with than cuddle. It was so strange; she had never envisioned having these sorts of feelings for a man that was not Oz. With Oz, it had been an all-the-way-going-to-get-married-someday little girl fairytale that she had never wanted to end. And true, while Willow was certainly sensible enough to recognize that most high school romances ended in tears and separation, it was different with Oz. They were different. Sunnydale was not made for normalcy, and thus she held herself and her friends on a higher platform than regional schools across the country. It was amazing to find someone at all, much less someone that she had loved with the extensive fervor of Oz.

 

Sam was not Oz, and she did not want him to be. She wanted him to be Sam. The cute, bumbling intellect from Washington DC that had wormed his way into her heart when she was not looking. They flirted, they talked, they spent most of their time together. They were aware of what was being said about them, but never made an issue of it. Never referred to it directly.

 

A move had not been made. She knew that he liked her—he oftentimes wore that giddily boyish ‘I’ve gotta crush on you’ grin whenever they traded stories or enjoyed lines of seemingly flawless banter. The fact that he had a decade and a half’s worth more experience refused to faze her—granted, the age thing was probably more an issue for him than for her. She came from the world where sixteen year olds got into relationships with men one or two centuries older; fifteen years, give or take, was nothing in the long run.

 

They had not discussed it, though. They had not mentioned her age, or geographical complications, or anything that would suggest the flirtation would extend into a bona fide relationship once the current apocalypse had been stopped in the manner per norm. And true, while Willow was not expecting a marriage proposal when they had not so much as shared a first kiss, she thought it reasonable to want to know if this was going to end up being something or nothing at all.

 

“Do location spells usually work?” he asked. “Or are your friends just being stubborn?”

 

“Oh no, they usually work.” She smiled wanly. “I usually have the right ingredients. For some reason, Natchez, Mississippi doesn’t seem to be big on the pagan/witchcraft thing.”

 

“You’d think they would be,” he replied. “Being so close to New Orleans, and all.”

 

“Not terribly close.”

 

He frowned, as though the answer was unacceptable. “I’m sure if you got off exit 3B and took the—”

 

Willow grinned. Despite all else, he was damn adorable. She held up a hand. “Sam, you’re doing that thing again.”

 

He stopped and grinned sheepishly. “Right,” he said. “The thing.”

 

They settled for a few minutes in companionable silence, studying the carpet and drape scheme that had so rapidly settled in as a second home. Really, for everything else, the redhead was becoming as familiar and comfortable with Natchez as she was with Sunnydale. Granted, a big evil was just enough to make anyone feel right at home, but there was something indisputably comforting about having a room to come home to at the end of every day. Looking forward to mornings even if each passing one edged them even closer to another apocalypse.

 

“Have you seen Buffy today?” Sam asked spontaneously. “I would imagine she’s not having a very pleasant morning. Well, granted, I think Spike will likely do whatever he can to take care of her. He’s a nice guy, you know. Kind of a bully, but a nice guy. He really reminds me a lot of Josh.”

 

Willow frowned. “What?”

 

“Sure they’re priorities are not exactly attuned, but Spike seems confident and egocentric to me—though from what I saw last night, likely also a bit on the softie side. That’s something Josh would kill me for telling you, but I don’t think he—”

 

“Sam, what are you talking about? What happened last night?”

 

There was another break. He looked at her askance. “Oh,” he said. “So you haven’t talked with Buffy today.”

 

“I’ve been with you all day today. Did we go talk to Buffy?”

 

He searched her eyes questioningly as though unsure of the answer, himself. “No?”

 

“Right. The chances of my having a conversation with her while not having spoken to her are not of the great. What happened last night?”

 

At that, he fidgeted with discomfort. The picture of a disobedient child that had run his mouth when warned about the consequences from an overbearing parental figure. “If she hasn’t told you yet, I shouldn’t—”

 

Willow rolled her eyes. “If it’s that she’s danced to the tune of the funky monkey with Spike, I’m not exactly dropping my jaw. Th-though I do wonder why she would’ve told you and not me.” A frown creased her lips. “Why did she tell you and not me? She doesn’t even know you. And hey! Best friend here. You’d think she—”

 

“She hasn’t danced to…any tune with Spike. Unless they go dancing regularly and I completely mistook that for an analogy.”

 

“Well, I’ve known Buffy to dance, but I don’t think she and Spike—.” The redhead cut off abruptly, eyes falling shut. “We just got off the exit ramp, Mister. What’s going on? What happened?”

 

Sam fidgeted a minute more before releasing a tempered sigh and shrugging. “What the hell?” he asked the room rhetorically. “It’s not like they’re going to be talking to me anytime soon, anyway. Buffy evidently got a little intoxicated last night at one of the bars Under The Hill. I’m guessing she and Spike have had a fight or some sort of disagreement, because…well…”

 

“Oh God. She didn’t stake him, did she?”

 

There was a long, blank silence. “What? No. No, she didn’t stake him. God, would she stake him for just having a disagreement? And does she use actual stakes, or is that just Californian slang for kill?”

 

“She’s a vampire slayer…you know the old ‘stake through the heart’ thing?”

 

He winced and covered his own heart out of reflex. “Ouch.”

 

“Well, not for you. No ouchies unless you get some major vamp neck. What happened last night? Buffy got drunk and she…” Willow’s eyes went wide. “Oh no. Did he…? Did Spike? That’s it. I am so opening up a can of medieval on his shiny white hiney. That little—”

 

Sam threw his hands up. “Spike didn’t do anything,” he said. “Actually, that’s why I know about this. From what I can tell, Buffy came back last night after drinking and decided that she wanted to…progress to the next level in her relationship with Spike. I don’t think he was strong enough to fend her off himself, so he called me.”

 

“He called you?”

 

“Well, me and Josh.”

 

“He called you and Josh.”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Why didn’t he call me?”

 

Sam shrugged. “I guess he didn’t want to embarrass Buffy.”

 

“So instead of calling the magic wielding best friend, he calls some of the most influential people on the President of the United States’ payroll to help him get away all unmolested from the Slayer?” Willow shook her head. “Yeah, because sense is being had in that scenario.”

 

“Well, if we get out of this alive, she won’t have to look at us every day for the rest of her life,” he explained reasonably. “You, she would have to see all the time.”

 

“Trust me, getting drunk and flinging herself at a vampire is not exactly Buffy’s biggest mistake.”

 

“It wasn’t her choice, Willow. Spike’s the one who made the call.”

 

“It was a stupid call.”

 

“I am not going to take a stance in this one way or another.”

 

They were quiet for a minute longer. The Witch sighed and sank back into the cushions of the chaise longue. “Donna slept with Wes,” she said a minute later. Then she frowned. “Oh God, I’m channeling Anya.”

 

“Donna slept with Wes?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“How do you know?”

 

“She told me. We are kinda roomies now, you know.”

 

Sam sighed and tossed his head back. “Well, now I know what I’m going to be doing for the rest of the day,” he said.

 

“What?”

 

“Counseling Josh. He gets in moods when Donna has a new boyfriend.”

 

“Oh, I don’t think Donna and Wes are gonna become a thing. She was kinda wigged about it and didn’t really act like she thought it was a step in the positive direction.” Willow shrugged, then looked up with interest. “Why would Josh care? Is he—”

 

Sam held up a hand and shook his head. “It’s a thing with them,” he replied. “Don’t ask. They’ve been dancing around it since he hired her, quite frankly. And if I know either of them, they’ll be dancing around it still for years to come.”

 

“So it’s a thing that’s not a thing.”

 

“Precisely.” He sighed. “Kinda like us, when you think about it.”

 

The world stopped with those words. Willow blinked, unsure if they had been real or imagined out of a dreary line of wishful thinking.

 

“Only I am mentioning it,” Sam continued, his voice oddly businesslike. “I am taking charge of this.”

 

“You’re taking charge?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Of…what?”

 

“Of us. Quite frankly, I don’t want to be like Josh and Donna. I don’t want to be a wasted opportunity for something more than we are. If there is something between us, I say we take charge.” He looked at her sheepishly then, as though just realizing the words that had escaped his mouth. “If that’s all right with you. This isn’t like you’re my boss’s daughter or a call girl or an ex-fiancée who, quite frankly, didn’t like me very much. You’re a witch.”

 

“I’m a witch,” she echoed, still unsure if this conversation was actually happening.

 

“And you’re quite young, which I would have had a problem with if you weren’t so…well, you’re Willow.”

 

“I’m Willow.”

 

He smiled fondly; if he registered how exceedingly nervous the turn in the conversation was making her, he didn’t build an issue out of it. “You’re Willow,” he said again. “And I’m finding that having Willow around makes my life a little brighter.” A pause. “Even with the impending apocalypse that I will inevitably assume full responsibility for before this is through.”

 

She blinked. What he was saying was completely and utterly surreal. “So you’re taking charge.”

 

“I am taking charge.”

 

“You want us to be a thing?”

 

Sam’s smile grew wider. “You’re starting to sound like me,” he said. “In case you haven’t noticed, ‘thing’ is pretty much the universal euphemism where we come from.”

 

“I think it’s pretty much the universal euphemism,” she replied nervously. “A-and, hello, you’ve always sounded like me, so it’s not like my…like it’s a…”

 

“Thing?”

 

“No, I—”

 

“You talk too much.”

 

“So do you!”

 

“Yes, well, I am trying to rectify that now.” Then, before she knew what was happening, Sam had gently cupped her cheeks, drawing her into the tenderest kiss of her lifetime. The feel of him was soft, sweet and exploratory. As though he was unsure of what she would do; unsure of himself. That bumbling Seaborn quality she had come to adore. A man with the world at his feet and nothing to fear, quivering against her in a kiss that would remain with her as one of the most memorable moments she had captured. That she possessed to enjoy.

 

When they pulled apart, it took a minute for Willow to find herself. She was dazed, and more than a little swept off her feet. “S-so,” she said, licking her lips. “You’re taking charge, huh?”

 

He smiled. “I’m taking charge.”

 

That was a good thing, because after that kissage, there was no way she was letting him or his lips go again.

 

“Okay.” Willow released a deep breath as his mouth neared hers once more. “I can live with that.”

 

*~*~*

 

The room was spinning. She hadn’t even opened her eyes, and the room was spinning. One of those fast spins that often served as the culprit of many tumbles. She was clawing for balance even before the first waves of conscious could tumble into being. Her head felt like someone had kicked her brains in, and there was an uncomfortably massive sensation of nausea playing football with her insides.

 

A few minutes passed before she felt she could attempt to broach the line between sleep and wakefulness any more than she already had. Her mind raced against her body’s will, trying to remember exactly what she had consumed the night before and just how much of it. And what she might have done to thoroughly embarrass herself as a result.

 

There was movement in the room, then. Suddenly. Movement followed by the sense of a comforting presence. Buffy relaxed into the overbearing sense of protective affection even before he pressed the warm washcloth to her forehead, tilting the mattress with his weight as he sat down beside her.

 

“Hey,” he said softly, running his hand through her hair.

 

“Hey,” she replied, reaching for the wrist that held the washcloth at her brow to rub loving circles into his skin. “What happened?”

 

“Think you drank yourself under the table last night, pet,” he murmured. “’S gonna be a miracle ‘f the pub has any goods to give the public t’night.”

 

“I remember there being booze.”

 

There was a brief pause. “Do you remember anythin’ else?”

 

“No. Just booze and then blah.” Buffy drew in a breath and decided to brave it. She opened her eyes to meet Spike’s heavy gaze, troubled and saddened but not misplaced. He looked more concerned for her than anything else. “Did you have to come get me, or did I find my way back?”

 

A gulp at that. “You found your way back, baby. Anythin’ after that? You don’ remember?”

 

She pursed her lips in thought. There were flashes here and there and an odd sense that she needed to be very embarrassed when it came to looking Sam in the eye today, but other than that, nothing particularly scandalous came to mind. “No,” she said. “Not a thing. Why? Did I do something? Oh God, I did something, didn’t I? Dammit. This is why Buffy and liquor are nonmixy things. I knew I—”

 

The smile of reassurance that crossed Spike’s face was forced at best. He removed the washcloth the next minute despite her murmur of protest, then gestured to the nightstand. “Wager you have a bad headache, sweetling,” he said. “Donna an’ I ran out this mornin’ to get some provisions. Thought you might like some aspirin.”

 

That was sweet, but her mind could do nothing but pick out the objectionable portion of that statement. “You and Donna?”

 

Spike’s lips twitched with a grin. “Well, she offered, kitten, but she still smelled a li’l too much like Wesley to strike my fancy.”

 

Buffy pouted. She knew she was being ridiculous, but there was an ever-present nasty voice that reminded her that she was no one’s first choice. And for some reason, it oftentimes adapted the peroxide vampire’s tenor.

 

To his credit, he was very good at reading her mind. His eyes softened accordingly, and he brushed a few wayward strands of hair from her forehead before leaning down to caress her skin with his lips. “Also,” he said, “she had this annoyin’ quality that I din’t exactly take a likin’ to.”

 

“Besides smelling like Wes?”

 

“Yeh. An’ bein’ completely an’ nauseatin’ly head over for Curly.” He sighed and shook his head. “Bloody dish like that could do so much better than that wanker.”

 

“Hey! With the comfort and the—”

 

Spike rolled his eyes good-naturedly, but his entire demeanor was still a couple shines off its regular glow. She knew there was a lot to talk through, still, but found his bedside presence to be comforting. At least they were getting past the awkwardness of yesterday and approaching the boundary of reasonability.

 

At least she thought so. The shiftiness in his gaze was making her uncomfortable.

 

“She’s not you, you daft bint,” he said, and all else fell to the wayside.

 

It didn’t last long, though. The moments of stolen tenderness in the wake of a hangover and a sun that looked to be setting. Strange. She had slept the day through. That almost never happened.

 

“Why didn’t you wake me up earlier?”

 

Spike shrugged simply. “You needed rest.”

 

“An entire day?”

 

“’F Rupes had unlocked the mystery behind our impendin’ doom, I would’ve woken you up, all right? Seein’ as he din’t, I figured havin’ a well-rested Slayer was more important than you gettin’ out there for more meaningless daytime patrollin’.” A long sigh heaved off his shoulders, and he was up the next minute. “’ve got some coffee brewin’, an’ if you know what’s good for you, you’ll drink it. It’ll make the hangover more tolerable.” There was another brief pause. “’m gonna go,” he said abruptly. “Run a quick patrol for you then head over to the Eola to see ‘f Rupes has anythin’ he feels he needs to share.”

 

Buffy frowned and kicked her legs over the side of the bed. “Well, hold on. If you wait a minute, I can—”

 

“Fall back down again?” he asked rhetorically, and interminably well-timed as a dizzy wave decided to strike at that exact moment. “’m not lettin’ you go out there with a bloody lot of buruburus runnin’ around.”

 

“Spike, it might’ve been just the one—”

 

“Might bein’ the operative word there.”

 

“And if I go with, it wouldn’t be like it was two nights ago.”

 

“You’re right, ‘cause you’re not goin’. Get used to people carin’ about you, Slayer. ‘F you have me around, you’re gonna get takin’ care of. I’m not like the Scoobs—I can hold my own.” He looked at her for another long moment before parading across the room to brush another kiss across her forehead. “Jus’ stay here an’ rest. You deserve a night off.”

 

“I’ve taken a day off.”

 

Spike chuckled. “You must be the only person alive that objects to spontaneous holiday. I’ll be back in later, sweetling. Get some rest.”

 

And then he was gone. Moving faster than she had ever seen him move. The slam of the front door sliced through her brain like a silver bullet. Buffy groaned and flopped back to the mattress. That vampire had to be the most annoying entity on the face of the planet. She was so sick of not talking about what was between them. It was time to throw everything on the table and kick consequences upside the head if they tried to interfere.

 

There was something about his demeanor, though. He seemed edgy today. Nervous, withdrawn, but trying very much to be himself.

 

Buffy released another sigh and tried once more to get up. She glanced around the room wearily as though daring the hand of God to knock her back down again. Being sickly wasn’t of the fun, especially when she had sacred duties to uphold. Perhaps, despite all the aggravation in such an admittance, he was right in that regard.

 

Her eyes landed on the meds he had placed at her disposal; right next to the book she kept forgetting to give him. The same text she bought at Longwood during one of her daytime patrols with Willow—the one right after her overnight adventure with the vampire in question. Trapped about a hundred miles south in the rumored most haunted house in America. His cute interest in the old homes manifest in her mind; she bought it then because he hadn’t been able to come with her that day, and had forgotten to fork it over every day thereafter.

 

The scent of coffee hit the air. With another sigh, Buffy snatched the pills along with the book and obediently followed her nose. Perhaps reading some nineteenth century sleep-machine was just what the doctor ordered in getting her thoughts away from their present course.

 

It wasn’t until she made it to the kitchen that the first wave of remembrance hit her. Out of nowhere a doorway opened and all her secrets tumbled out. The night, what had happened—what she had done—everything put on the table for agonizing retrospection. A flash of stumbling through the door with a one-track mind. Catching the relief in Spike’s eyes before he fell to anxiety all over again. Watched herself while standing to the side. Watched him catch her as she started to fall.

 

Buffy’s hand froze mid-air, quivering with the weight of the coffee pot. Her eyes went wide.

 

“Oh my God.”

 

She stretched and stumbled, replacing the pot onto the burner before she had a catastrophe. Her hands clutched at the counter. The book fell to her feet as the room started spinning all over again.

 

God, how could she have done that to him? Put him in that position? Asked him to…

 

“Oh God.”

 

It was a wonder he could even look at her this morning, and no wonder that he didn’t want her on patrol with him.

 

Wanted to be as far away as possible.

 

“Oh. Oh God.”

 

Buffy turned slowly and slid to the floor, her heart pounding. Things were just too messed up now to even begin to sort through.

 

And still, she couldn’t get one image out of her mind. Stuck there on infinite repeat. Spike watching her enter the house and start to fall. He had leapt forward to catch her. Even when she was at her worst, he was still there to catch her.

 

And something told her, regardless, that he always would be.

 

*~*~*

 

Spike was already well on the road to complete mental abstraction when the bell above the bar door chimed and Josh Lyman walked in. It might as well have been timed; they took one look at each other and released near-identical groans of aggravation. Just as bloody well, though. And damn near predictable. There weren’t many pubs in Natchez to begin with: the likelihood of them selecting the same one were favorable odds.

 

Annoyance gave way to cynicism, and finally to amusement. Spike shook his head and rumbled a low, grave chuckle. For one night, though, it didn’t seem to matter. Any of it. The fact that they weren’t the best of friends and likely would never be. Former grudges shoved aside for the want of nothing at all. They were weary—that much was more than clear, but nothing else could stand in the way of a night of forgotten sobriety.

 

“What’s the matter, Curly?” the vampire sneered, edging over and motioning to the empty barstool next to him. “Come to drink your sorrows away?”

 

Josh perked a brow but did not contest. He took the opposing stool and shrugged off his jacket. “No, I’m in a bar alone because I feel so good about myself,” he retorted. “Same to you, I expect?”

 

Spike snorted again, examining his shot glass wryly. “’m in a bar alone ‘cause it’s dark, dank, an’ there lots of blokes in here with death wishes.” He released a long sigh and tossed his head back with another drink. “’Sides, the Slayer’s temporary amnesia’s gonna go the way of the dodo soon. I try to make habit of not bein’ where I’m most likely to get staked.”

 

The other man’s brows arched accordingly. “You think your girlfriend would kill you because you didn’t take advantage of her in a drunken stupor last night? Man, you guys sure do play rough, don’t you?”

 

There was another dry chuckle at that. The vampire’s eyes never left the tumbler in his hand. “You don’ know the Slayer,” he replied simply. “She’s a bit unpredictable.”

 

“Yeah, I hate that in a woman.”

 

Spike gave him a look; Josh grinned and shrugged, making himself comfortable and motioning for the barkeep to serve him a share of whatever his makeshift drinking pal was indulging.

 

“We don’ get chocolates an’ kittens,” he said a minute later after they had toasted to nothing. “’S not easy when you’re undead an’ your girl’s the one chosen to end the lot of your kind.”

 

“Yeah, that would put a hamper on things.”

 

“An’ she’s been doin’ a right job of muckin’ with my head from the bloody start. She knows what she wants, she jus’ doesn’ want to want it.”

 

Josh snickered. “I don’t think that’s Slayers. I think that’s women.”

 

Spike grinned and toasted to that. They drank, refilled, and drank again.

 

“So why are you here, mate?” the vampire asked a minute later. “Decide to become a recluse like that bloke that decided he was better suited for outta sight, outta mind?”

 

“Toby doesn’t deal with being out of charge very well.”

 

“Yeh, an’ you got a right knack for it.”

 

Josh’s brows arched. “I can hold my own with the best of them.”

 

“Wouldn’t last two seconds in my circle.”

 

“Well, that’s because your circle is—oh right—demonic.”

 

Spike threw his hands up in the air. “You’re the politician, here.”

 

“Right. All politicians are bloodsucking fiends. How stunningly original.”

 

“You said it, mate.” The Cockney tossed him a careless grin and motioned to the bartender for another round. “So why’re you really here?” he asked. “Rupes ‘s doin’ all the research. Haven’t seen the whelp or his bird in an age, though I reckon Anya’s bein’ kept by the Watchers to make sure they don’ misinterpret demontalk for somethin’ else. Prissy an’ Red are still hittin’ it off, right?”

 

“Yeah. And when in God’s name did this trip become a matchmaking game for the freaks and geeks?” Josh collapsed his head tiredly into his waiting arms. “I’m still trying to grasp onto the reality that I was actually here to do something that made sense. Well, 197 didn’t make sense, but the reason behind it did. It was supposed to be a minimal thing, and now it’s gotten so fucking far out of control that I don’t know what’s real or not anymore.”

 

There was a self-righteous chortle. “Welcome to the jungle,” Spike retorted, lifting his glass to his lips.

 

“That Giles guy keeps saying this thing is bad. Well, what the hell are we doing just waiting around?”

 

“Can’t go anywhere, can we?” The vampire shook his head. “You don’ know the way the Scoobs work, mate. They complain, they tire, they waste time, they shag the wrong blokes, the world starts to end, an’ they save it in the knick of everythin’. Rupert’s gettin’ as much info as he can. He jus’ seems to have forgotten that he can’t speak demon an’ that he’s not on the Watcher’s payroll anymore. Meanwhile, you got that bloody Faith bird out there, doin’ god-knows-what to god-knows-who.” There was a long, agitated sigh. “All I’ve got outta this deal is knowin’ that we’re dealin’ with the god Quinirias, an’ that I had to wheedle outta Donna.”

 

Josh snapped to attention at the mention of his assistant. “Donna?”

 

“Went out for provisions this mornin’.” Spike paused and rolled his eyes. “Don’ gimme that look. I din’t touch her, an’ you bloody well know it. She’s cute, I’ll grant you, but she doesn’ hold a candle to the Slayer.”

 

“Yes she does! She holds many…candles!”

 

The vampire’s eyes twinkled at that, and he cooed condescendingly. “What’s this?”

 

“Nothing.”

 

“Somebody is jealous,” he singsonged.

 

“I am not.”

 

“Are too.”

 

“Am not!” Josh held up a hand. “Donna can sleep with whoever she wants.”

 

Spike’s brows perked. “’S that so?”

 

“Absolutely.” There was another pause. “She just has to give me fair warning so I can do everything I can to sabotage it.”

 

“Right. An’ that’s in no way a sign of jealousy.”

 

“I swear to you, jealousy is not a factor in this. I just happen to know Donna and the way she is with whatever Republican gomer she’s decided to indulge in a relationship that will go nowhere.” He paused. “She has a history of leaving me without an assistant just so she can come back in a few months because it didn’t work out.”

 

“With as much of a wanker as he is, I really don’ think you can call Messy Wes a Republican,” Spike retorted. “An’ let’s take a look at that, shall we? You’re not jealous, but you’re afraid of the bird leavin’ you for some other bloke. You must have an interestin’ way of definin’ words, Curly.”

 

“Donna’s irreplaceable.” He shrugged. “I don’t want to go through the process of trying to find someone who could do the job half as well as she does if she decided to leave, for whatever reason.”

 

The vampire’s eyes narrowed. “An’ she really has a habit of jus’ walkin’ out ‘cause her current flame tells her to?”

 

“Just the once, and I don’t wanna chance it again.”

 

“Right. An’ I s’pose you’re bein’ here, drinkin’ your sorrows away, has nothin’ to do with the fact that your irreplaceable assistant got her brains shagged out by one of our sideshow attractions.” Spike snickered and shook his head. “You give denial a whole other meanin’.”

 

“And you’re here, why?”

 

“’Cause of Buffy an’ her endless game of fucking with my head.” Off the look he received, the vampire chuckled dryly and reached for his cigarettes. “Hey, at leas’ I’ll admit to bein’ love’s bitch. I keep fallin’ for the birds that’ll never love me back. So why’re you here, then? Your assistant got shagged by someone who wasn’ you, an’ now you’ve decided to get pissed over it.”

 

Josh stared at him incredulously. “Believe me, if I got drunk every time Donna hooked up with some joke that she has no future with, I wouldn’t have a job.” He paused. “How’d you even know she’d slept with Wes?”

 

Spike pointed deftly to his nose. “Vamps have heightened senses all across the board, mate,” he retorted. “How’d you know?”

 

“’Cause I know Donna, and I know the way she acts the morning after. There being only four guys in the Wensel House, myself excluded, enforcing the process of elimination wasn’t exactly difficult. Besides, they were gone all day together yesterday and Wes is the only one of us with a room to himself.”

 

The vampire batted off another grin and tapped his cigarette against the provided ashtray. “Wish you could hear yourself talkin’,” he said. “It’d be bloody amusin’.”

 

“This is not a jealousy thing.”

 

His hands came up. “All right, all right. ‘F you say so.”

 

“I do.”

 

“Then by God, it must be true.” Spike purposefully ignored the heated look he received in turn and motioned for the barkeep to refill their drinks. “Keep it comin’, Charlie. The night’s still young.”

 

*~*~*

 

If she tore her eyes away from the page, she was nearly convinced the words would melt away as though they never were.

 

It was one of those moments that Buffy was sure was not her own—a moment that belonged to someone else. A moment that she had stolen by mistake. Looking at the worn leaf from a book that did not look like it should have any wear. It wasn’t an anthology or anything—she hadn’t spent a ridiculous amount of money on something for Spike so early in their relationship. This was a book bought for less than ten dollars. It was meant to be nothing.

 

The Diary of Julia Nutt, paperback edition. Something only the residents of this town would want. Would need. And yet, something so personal involved. Her mind raced; trying to decipher if, perhaps, this could tie in with the overbearing reason they had been drawn to Natchez. But no—she couldn’t think of anything. And it didn’t feel like anything more. It felt natural, if not a little off.

 

A keeper for the family during times of war, the diary read. A man from England that had arrived with a freighter from New Orleans. A man with a family back home that he would never see. A man that died of yellow fever.

 

William Sinclair Bennet.

 

And in her hand—her hand—she held a documentation of his last words.

 

It was a moment that did not belong to her.

 

*~*~*

 

Amazing what retrospect a few shots of liquor and the comfort of apathetic company could bring to the table.

 

Really, as long as they didn’t remember this in the morning, it would be fine. Somehow, the conversation had gone from jealousy, to demons, to famous demons, to demons in movies, to movies, and finally landed on a recitation of the greatest movies of all time.

 

Tie that in with the atmosphere of a drunken country bar, and it brought them in a roundabout way to where they were now.

 

“Rollin' rollin' rollin',” Spike sang heartily. “Though the streams are swollin'. Keep them doggies rollin', rawhide!”

 

“Rain and wind and weather,” Josh answered, just as inebriated. “Hell bent for leather.”

 

The vampire toasted his glass. “Wishing...my girl was by my side.
All the things I'm missin'—”

 

“Good bulls, love and kissin',” the other man added drunkenly. “Are waiting at the end of my ride.”

 

Spike slammed his mugful—having gone from shots to mugs—onto the table heartily. “Move ‘em on.”

 

“Head ‘em up,” Josh answered.

 

“Head ‘em up.”

 

“Move ‘em on.”

 

“Move ‘em on, head ‘em up—Rawhide.” The vampire shook his head. “Cut ‘em out.”

 

“Ride ‘em in,” came the reply.

 

“Ride ‘em in.”

 

“Cut ‘em out.”

 

And then, finally, together as a lasting toast to drunken stupor, they clinked their glasses together and concluded, “Cut 'em out, ride 'em in, rawhide! Rawhide!”

 

Spike and Josh had not made any friends in their drunken stints—especially from the local brutes whose eyes were trained studiously on the small television that had three channels to speak of: sports, sporting, and football—but for all the world, they did not care. When the bartender told them to keep it down, the vampire had replied, “Oh, bite me!” and initiated a new round of drinks and jokes.

 

When there was nothing else in the world to laugh at, drinks were all that was needed. A liquid pain-reliever for all the reality that surrounded them now.

 

Something that kept them from going back.

 

It seemed everyone had something to drink about nowadays.

 

“Barkeep,” Spike grumbled, motioning for another round. “Whassat I told you ‘bout the bottom of this glass?”

 

“I think I’m gonna be sick,” Josh said randomly, eyes fixated on the liquid as it pooled in the Cockney’s mug.

 

“Hold on there, mate. Gettin’ you another drink.”

 

“It was probably the Rawhide,” a local sneered, jousted by his friends in support.

 

The vampire smirked, but reached over to help the other man anyway. “Don’ be passin’ out yet,” he said, finishing off his drink with the other hand. “We’re gonna do shots now, right?”

 

“The room’s spinning.” He peeked an eye open. “Did I mention I have a very sensitive system?”

 

That was the last Josh Lyman got out for the evening. He toppled over the barstool and landed on the ground, oblivious to the world around him.

 

Spike looked at him dumbly for a long minute, then raised his eyes back to the bartender.

 

“’ll have another,” he said.

 

Anything was better than the alternative. Waiting here as though the world did not exist. His hazed mind did not want to consider the petite blonde waiting for him at the townhouse. Not with her drunken stint the last night and his answer to her encore.

 

No. Much better to stay here. The Deputy Chief of Staff for the President of the United States passed out at his feet. Himself perched on a stool, eyeing a glass of liquid poison.

 

Drowning away in misery.

 

Chapter Twenty-Eight

 

 

The day was not going well.

 

Of course, given her current streak of good days versus the bad, this hardly came as a surprise.

 

All had actually started on a relatively neutral note. Despite the sleepless night and the waiting for Spike so she could offer her thousand apologies—which resulted in falling asleep before he got back practically drenched in liquor—she had enjoyed an uneventful morning. Her housemate slept late; she wanted to give him the same treatment that he gave her after a night of boozing it, but Willow had come knocking around eleven. Evidently, the one-nighter with Wesley had Donna on the bad side of the wiggins and she desperately needed some girl-time QT.

 

Pangs of guilt stabbed her heart. She was so wrapped up in her own dumb life—amidst a potential apocalypse—that she had neglected practically everyone else. Giles was teetering near the edge of calling the Watcher’s Council for assistance. Wesley, following Donna’s dismissal, had taken to a similar method of shutting himself up with a bunch of books. Honestly, Buffy didn’t know if they were working more now for survival or to get the hell out and away from each other.

 

There was other news, as Willow related. Angel was keeping a steady eye on the Hellmouth and had discovered, amongst other things, that Riley Finn was a member of the secretive Initiative and that Maggie Walsh was the regional supervisor. It was strange hearing Riley’s name after so much had happened; Buffy hadn’t thought of him in what seemed like months. And though she was a little peeved to discover that he was working for the agency that had handicapped Spike, it really didn’t do much at all to shake her foundation. It was simply another thing to contend with. Something to know and stop when they got back to Sunnydale.

 

Assuming at this point that getting back was an option.

 

The lack of productivity was beginning to annoy her. All they knew right now was that Quirinias was the focal point of the book, the reason they were in Natchez, and that if he succeeded in whatever it was he was trying to succeed in, they were screwed with a capital S.

 

By the time Buffy had sufficiently assured Donna that she was not a horrible person for sleeping with Wesley and ending it before he became too emotionally attached, Spike had awakened and left the townhouse.

 

And that was it. The final straw. Something had to be done. She couldn’t take this mindless dancing around each other any longer. It was stupid. It was beyond adolescent. If the world were going to end, she would damn well make sure he knew what she felt.

 

Which in itself was progression, because she wasn’t even sure that she knew how she felt. Only that it was a wonderfully warm feeling that she missed embracing. That the cold she had experienced even in their few days of separation was something she despised. She desperately wanted warmth again. It was unlike anything else—more powerful than anything else. And if she was expected to give her usual hundred and ten percent, then she had to make sure her relationships were evened.

 

If she had Spike with her, they would be unstoppable.

 

And damned if that wasn’t at least an aspect in why she insisted that he come in the first place. Something buried deep within herself. A reckoning birthed that first night—watching him struggle with his loyalty to her while Faith attempted to give him the treatment that she would later give Sam. It was strange thinking of him in that context, given everything that had passed. Given that just a short while ago, they had hated each other with more passion than she had ever learned through love.

 

There were still mitigating factors. A book in her possession that documented the last minutes of Spike’s father. It was strange thinking that he had a father, and she really had no grasp on how he would react to the entire thing, but it was a way to break the ice. A way to try.

 

And that was only the beginning. Her embarrassment of her behavior the other night tied in with the uncertainty of Spike’s feelings on the matter. He was not hurt to the extent of avoiding her intentionally—he had stayed with her, cared for her in the midst of her wake, then gone out to piss his own sorrows away.

 

It had to end. This dancing around each other. And it had to end tonight.

 

Buffy was no professional at delving into her feelings. She knew what she felt more often than not—it was being the confronter that threw her off. Smashing through the wall that Angel’s leave had built around her heart. She needed those emotions. She needed to retrieve them from where she so deeply shoved them inside herself. She needed to know that she wasn’t going to paint a picture of a fool and write her name underneath.

 

In the end, she opted for the coward’s way out. It seemed simplest, given her track record, and was a good way to remain neutral without stepping too far into uncharted territory. She scribbled a note of apology onto some stationary she found in one of the drawers and stuffed it inside the book, marking the page that detailed Spike’s father with certain passages underlined. It was the best she could do without pushing herself to uncomfortable limits, and she could only hope that it would be enough.

 

If it weren’t, she would rethink the lines of comfort. For now, though, there was this. She set the book on his bed in the room that had formerly been hers, retreated to her own chamber, and waited.

 

She must have fallen asleep, for the slam of the front door jerked her back to the present. The setting sun had faded into darkness and her seventh Spike-sense was running memorable laps throughout her skin. When Spike had separated from her normal vampire sense to make one of his own, she didn’t know. It was there in the place that Angel’s had once lived. More warmth than she would ever have accredited him for. She knew he was home. Home from wherever he had gone.

 

There was some rustling inside the kitchen. She heard him shuffle through restlessly, drop something on the counter and make himself a cup of blood. Heard his wistful sigh as he inhaled; could picture it all with stunning clarity. And there was no doubt in her mind—she viewed it through imagination as though it was the real thing. As though there was a window separating them, and she was watching it all unfold. She watched him set the mug back on the counter, watched him rummage through whatever it was he had brought with him, watched him sigh again as he flicked off the kitchen light; watched as he turned into their adjoining hall where he stopped and stared at her door for long seconds.

 

It was so real to her, and that alone was nearly frightening. The idea that she knew him so well that picturing his every move, his every expression, every flagrant beat to flicker through such animate eyes gave her an uncomfortable sense of pride tagged with fear. At that moment, she knew Spike better than she knew anyone. With no one else did she have an inward file memorized of their every emotion, every expression. Not her mother, not Giles, not even Willow.

 

And that was that. There out of nothing at all. She knew Spike. Despite all else—what he was, what she was, the people he had killed, the penance he had obtained without actively pursuing, everything—she knew him. Buffy knew Spike as well as she knew anyone. Better.

 

All respects to Willow, this trip was rapidly making him her best friend. And that out of everything else—out of the attraction, out of the lust, out of the temptation and the guilt and the stolen kisses—that was what scared her most of all.

 

This was real. They were real.

 

And damn if that didn’t make her want him even more. Out of everything else, she had never experienced real. Not once. Not with Angel, certainly not with Parker, and not with any of the lowlife boys left behind at Hemery High before the move to Sunnydale. This—just this—what they were right now was as real as it had ever been. And she was tired of denying it. In the face of all the fear, all the hesitation, all the tension of knowing what she wanted, she was through with playing mind games with herself and expecting easy answers. They weren’t meant for easy answers. Easy answers brought easy questions, and that wasn’t something built to last.

 

A few minutes passed before she heard him expel another sigh and turn back for his own room. There he would find the book she had placed on his bed; her note tucked inside. Buffy bit her lip and slipped off the bed to prowl the corners of her room, unable to keep from trembling. She had no idea how he would react. Had no idea what to expect. She hadn’t seen him in a day, and a lot could happen in a day. Whether or not he was angry for the way she conducted herself the other night, she did not know. She didn’t think so—her own embarrassment notwithstanding. There was a difference between knowledge and acceptance. And they were about to cross that border.

 

One way or another.

 

It didn’t take long. The hall soon quaked with thunderous steps and her door flew open in a motion that was nearly dreamlike for all her anticipation. The storm behind his eyes drew her in immediately. A wealth of power amidst conflict that was tearing them both apart. He didn’t hesitate, though. Didn’t allow himself much room for second-guessing. His motive was ample. He strode to where she was standing, seized her by the forearms, and hauled her to his mouth for a hungry, savage kiss that both ignited the burning need within her and delivered notes of saddened glory. The taste of him was empowering—almost too much—and before she could reach for him in turn, he had released her and stepped back.

 

Then he said a word. One word. And that was all.

 

“Thanks.”

 

Buffy blinked dumbly as he turned and walked away. A cold retreat back to a room that remained miles away from where she wanted to be. For everything, she had not expected something so abrupt. So callous. Nearly unfeeling if not for the way her lips tingled still with the impression of his.

 

He wasn’t getting away from her again. They had dodged the bullet too many times now to allot for that.

 

She didn’t even realize that she had followed until her answering, “That’s it?” sounded within the tight confines of the narrow hallway. Spike was inches away from his threshold, body stiff and his back to her. It didn’t take long to prompt the other; he turned and gauged her eyes, burrowing deep for answers that she was so sick of not giving.

 

And then a breath, and he relaxed. Just like that. Airs of relief that came from nowhere. His eyes softened and she watched him cave. Seemingly centuries of internal battles crumbling at last.

 

How in the world had they gotten here?

 

“God,” he replied. “I bloody well hope not.”

 

“Me, too.” Buffy sighed and glanced down. “Look, I know that things have been…well, pretty crappy comes to mind, but if you have another term—”

 

“Tormenting?”

 

“That works.”

 

Spike’s head tilted as he considered her, drawing out a deep breath of acceptance. He nodded in agreement. “Yeh,” he said. “We bollixed up somewhere. But this…” He gestured between the two of them. “Not gettin’ to talk to you…not knowin’ where we stand…god, it’s killin’ me.”

 

She licked her lips and hazarded another step forward. “What happened?”

 

“Harris happened.”

 

“No. I’m tired of this…and as much as Xander is not on my current Christmas list, I don’t think we can blame him.” A small smile creased her mouth, and she glanced away, down, and back to him again. “Hey. At least we’re talking about it.”

 

Spike smiled. “Well, your note summed everythin’ up nice an’ pretty.”

 

“There’s a first time for everything.” Buffy held his gaze a minute longer, then released another sigh and crossed her arms behind her back. “I don’t want to not talk about this anymore. I’m tired of it.”

 

“It?”

 

“The full it. I liked…I’ve had a chance at both, right? A look at what both do for me. And I don’t like my life without you. These past three days? Really sucked.” His eyes sparkled. Her face reddened. “Well, except that.”

 

“I seem to recall some suckin’.”

 

“Crude much?”

 

“Much,” he agreed, advancing a pace. “I don’ like my life without you either, sweets. ‘S been all out hell…goin’ from where we were to back to…not even hatin’ you. Couldn’t do that, of course, but the sentiment’s the same. I had nothin’. An’ whether it be hate or…the other, I’d rather feel somethin’ than nothin’ where you’re concerned.”

 

Buffy pursed her lips. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “Things were going so well…”

 

“We din’t know where they were goin’, though.”

 

“Had some guesses.”

 

Spike grinned. “Me, too. Scenarios, exchanges…lovely li’l pretties to keep my mind occupied.” They looked at each other for a minute longer; the spark faded from the vampire’s eyes and his shoulders sagged again with the weight of solemnity. “I don’ wanna go back to where we were, luv,” he said again, holding up a hand when her own gaze widened in alarm. “Before we left. Before comin’ to Natchez. I want so much more than that.”

 

“Me, too.”

 

“Do you?” His tone was neither mocking nor incredulous. More inquisitive—hesitant. Leaving shades patched over the truth of her own yearning. “Do you really? Even with everythin’ you have to consider?”

 

“I don’t like my life without you in it.”

 

“I was in it before. You seemed to be havin’ a—”

 

“Spike. Stop. This is different.”

 

He arched a cool brow. “’Splain it to me.”

 

“I don’t care anymore. The vampire thing…the Slayer thing…I don’t care.” She shrugged. “I don’t know if I ever did. It was always there. Hell, we knew it was there. That’s why we didn’t talk about it. And yeah, Xander did bring all this up and I had a mini-panic attack. It wasn’t about that, though. Not really.”

 

Spike’s expression refused to change. He merely nodded and encouraged her to continue. “Oh?”

 

A sigh coursed through her body. “I think I was more wigged that I wasn’t wigged,” she said. “Everything…I’ve changed so much in such a small amount of time. We both have.” Buffy tore her eyes away and fixated on a spot staining the wooden floor. “I changed because of you.”

 

A frown beset his face and his gaze burned with protest. “I never asked—”

 

“No. I didn’t mean…for the better, Spike. I changed for the better. And not for you—that change doesn’t really exist. The kind of change I’m talking about happens on accident.” A beat. She tried to look at him but couldn’t. The conversation was almost dreamlike; she had nearly convinced herself that he would disappear if she turned her eyes upward. “I don’t wanna go back to where I was…and I don’t wanna stay like this.”

 

“God,” he gasped in agreement. “I think I’d rather stake myself.”

 

She drew in a breath and convinced herself to meet his gaze. “I’ve missed you.”

 

“I’ve been right here.”

 

“No. You haven’t.” Off his look, she flushed and turned her eyes to the ground again. She might as well have suggested a peace plan for the Middle East. “You’ve been here,” she said, choosing her words carefully. “But…you shut yourself off. I’ve tried to approach you so many times and you—”

 

Spike cocked a brow. “Funny,” he replied. “Think I woulda noticed that.”

 

“You didn’t even give me a chance. You left me after…” Buffy’s cheeks in a flash of heated remembrance. The silky strokes of his heavenly tongue as he pushed her over a threshold that no one had ever acknowledged, much less attempted. And damned if she wasn’t convinced that it had more to do with him than the other. “You left me after we shared something that meant more to me than…and…” Her eyes narrowed. “It wasn’t because that was it. It wasn’t. It wasn’t because that was all there was.”

 

“God, pet.” He looked thoroughly offended. “How can you even think that?”

 

She shrugged, allowing her own wounded pride to bleed through now that they were finally talking about it. “I woke up alone,” she said, and his eyes went wide with realization. “We shared that…and it was wonderful…and I woke up alone.”

 

The air around them settled with a silence so palpably thick she thought she might choke. It lasted for uncomfortably long seconds before Spike snapped and stalked forward, covering the space between them. For the violence in stride, he softened when he reached her; his hands cupped her face and gently brought her mouth to his. A nibbling taste, yielding and exploratory. His tongue teasing hers, sweeping her insides with no effort at all. Buffy moaned into him and threw her arms around his neck as her inner symphony sent the Walls of Jericho to the ground. This was it. This liberation. The taste, the feel of him, in her arms without hesitation. God, how she had missed this.

 

It hadn’t been that long. It really hadn’t. But as his hands slid down her skin, fingers drumming over the column of her throat before resting at her forearms to hold her with jubilated desperation, she felt the higher arch of her torment mend to a full circle. The wave of released euphoria alongside searing relief clashed in an explosion of sensory. She fought the sting of tears and focused solely on him. His mouth, weaving her fingers through his hair, pressing her body against the hardness that met her stomach. Swallowing his own murmurs and moans and making them her own. This. She was made for this. For no other reason than to be a part of this. A part of him.

 

“’m sorry,” he rasped between kisses. “’m so sorry. I don’…God, I din’t know. I was so sure you’d—”

 

“I—”

 

“That night meant so much to me, baby.” His teeth tugged mindlessly at her ear before his mouth took chart down her throat. “More than…I din’t know. God, I din’t know. I thought you’d…I couldn’t bloody stand the thought that you’d think we were a mistake.”

 

“You didn’t give me a chance.”

 

“If you’d said somethin’—”

 

Buffy pulled back, eyes narrowing. “You shut yourself off,” she retorted. “I wanted to talk to you that morning and you were gone. And then you shut yourself up in your room. For some reason, that gave me the impression that you didn’t wanna talk.”

 

“So, what, you decided it was easier approachin’ a bottle than approachin’ me?”

 

Heat scorched her cheeks again, her hands curled around his shoulders in a frozen embrace. “I’m sorry about that.”

 

Spike’s brows perked, a devilish spark alighting his gaze that had been absent now for far too long. “Yeh. That’s what gets me. You say you’re sorry, an’ here I thought that you’d be the one blamin’ me for the whole bloody thing.” He chuckled lightly, and the motion rumbled against her skin in a way that was so thoroughly soothing she could get lost in the sensation. “I was half convinced you’d come at me with a stake the second you woke up.”

 

“You thought I’d stake you for not taking advantage of my alcohol-induced sluttiness?”

 

“Yeh. Sounds ridiculous, doesn’ it?” He smiled and kissed her again. “An’ I s’pose I’m completely wrong for havin’ my doubts. You’ve always been so linear when it comes to your views on vamps an’ our vague but very real code of ethics.”

 

“Since we got here?” Buffy licked her lips, but shook her head before he could answer. “You thought I’d stake you and you still sat by my bed and patted my very headachy self?”

 

“What can I say? Like livin’ on the edge.” They shared a grin before breaking eye contact and simultaneously glancing about the tapered hall to find something to focus on. Then the edge of humor dissipated and a sigh coursed through the vampire. He found her eyes after a few minutes of avoiding them “’S this it?” he asked, voice degrees graver than before. “Even ‘f…we get back to Sunnyhell, right? Bloody parades all around. Slayer saves the day again. What happens?”

 

“Huh?”

 

“You an’ me. We keep playin’ like this? You go back to hatin’ me an’ I go back to tryin’ to get the chip out? You pretend none of this happened? What’s it gonna be, Slayer?”

 

She stared at him blankly. “You know, it’s not exactly like I have an off switch when it comes to my feelings.”

 

“’S easy to say that now when we’re miles away from where you belong.” He glanced down again and kicked restlessly at the floor. “Where your call of duty is, along with more than Harris to remind you exactly what I am.”

 

Buffy reeled her head back, a snappy retort ready and willing on her tongue before she caught a glimpse of the very real apprehension buried in his eyes. It was there—it wasn’t a mindless provocation. He was truly worried. Worried that this was all a result of being away from duty and had nothing to do with how she felt. And while it hurt, it hurt more to know that he would have been right to ask the very same not too long ago. Once, perhaps. Once upon a time. But not now.

 

Not now.

 

He was right, then. There couldn’t be nothing. Whether it be love or hate, it—anything—was better than the emptiness that had occupied the past few days. They had come too far for there to be nothing. And she could never hate him again. She was so far to the left of hate that the idea—the memory of the sensation—was nearly foreign. Hating him was an attitude that had never truly existed. A long, tedious nightmare from which she had clawed her way out.

 

It didn’t matter where they were. This feeling was universal.

 

And if there wasn’t nothing and there wasn’t hate, that only left one thing.

 

One huge recognition. Something that had spent the last few days glaring at her in retrospect. Buffy was genuinely surprised when her heart didn’t stop, though her stomach dropped and her balance nearly wavered. It was not a thoroughly alien thought—the word had carelessly tossed itself around her psyche for what seemed like forever, but was always dismissed in the face of uncertainty. When shoved into the limelight, though, she could not deny its audience. Could not turn away from the face of blatant realization. Acceptance. Truth.

 

Oh. Dear. Lord.

 

The Slayer pursed her lips and realized that Spike was looking at her still, waiting for an answer. Her reassurance that this was as real to her as it was him. And her heart clenched tightly with a bout of panic. Not for what he was—that no longer mattered, if it ever had. No, she was terrified of what it meant. Just the dawn of what it meant.

 

It wasn’t that it was frightening—that was expected. It was more that it was. It was. Regardless of what else she could say about it, there it remained. Present. Existent. Within her and not going anywhere.

 

Furthermore, the answering words to her epiphany had not been surrendered. If she felt this way, she would damn well make sure that he felt the same before admitting anything. It was only fair. She wasn’t about to put her heart on the line if he decided to remain nonverbal in that particular line of confession.

 

His eyes killed her, though. She had sworn that they were through running, and goddammit, she wasn’t about to back out on that now. Buffy smiled a reassuring smile and stepped forward, closing the space that had forced itself between them once more. Like he had just a few minutes before, she took his face in her hands and caressed his cheeks with loving strokes. “I’m not miles away from where I belong,” she said slowly. “I’m right here.”

 

There was a long beat as he took her in, emotion storming his eyes. He looked at her like the second-coming. He looked at her in ways that would make angels weep. “Buffy?”

 

A pause, though not for hesitation. There would be no more of that. She smiled. “I’m right here, Spike,” she replied. “I’m not going anywhere.”

 

“You’re sure?”

 

Buffy reached for his hand. “Honestly, there’s a reason I write notes. I thought I had this one in the bag.”

 

His eyes went wide at the mention of the note, blazing but suddenly far away. Similarly, his body tightened and his breathing—unnecessary as it was—stopped altogether. She did nothing but stand with him, holding his hand as the racing whirlwind of emotion drew him back to the beginning. For the way he was holding onto her, the storm behind his gaze was violent and ugly. She didn’t know, honestly, whether or not revealing her discovery to him had been a wise decision. For everything else it seemed like it. However, he had not mentioned it; he had not even acknowledged it. He had come to her for her, not for what she had given him.

 

She wondered if he had even digested as much until now. Right now. Standing in the hallway with one worry drowned and the other reaching the surface of innovation.

 

When he spoke, his voice was small and hoarse. Suddenly remote—far from where they stood. “How’d you find that?” he asked.

 

“Your dad’s thing? I…I really don’t know, actually.” Buffy pursed her lips and rubbed at her arms. “It was before you told me about…well, everything. Will and I had taken the daytime patrol over by Longwood the morning that we got back from the Myrtles. You weren’t with us and I knew you had your lame little thing with the old houses, so I decided to get you a souvenir. I just…kinda forgot to give it to.”

 

For the glow in his eyes, she didn’t know if he was more touched by the fact that he had something concrete from his past in his possession or that she had thought enough to buy him a present.

 

“I…early Christmas?”

 

A smile itched at his lips. “Christmas is next week, innit?”

 

“I honestly don’t think it matters anymore.” Buffy released a long sigh. “So…was it a good thing to get? I didn’t…well, I didn’t know about the ‘your dad’ part until last night when you were out getting on the massive side of drunk with Josh and I was looking for something to do since I had a mandate to stay inside the house.”

 

“Luv, you could barely stand.” His grin lasted a beat longer before looking down again. “Thanks for that.”

 

“When I saw it, I didn’t know if I should…” She trailed off when she saw he was no longer with her, rather staggering to the back wall at a slow tumble. “Spike?”

 

He didn’t say anything for a minute. “Did you read what it said, sweets?” he asked softly, sliding to the ground with a note of apathy that she more than recognized.

 

“The diary? I know it mentioned that he had a wife and kids he was trying to get back to.” She licked her lips, waiting for a welcome sign to motion her forward so that she could be of some comfort. “I didn’t read too much,” she confessed a second later. “It felt…I dunno. The fact that he was your…it felt too personal. I didn’t wanna read too much in case you—”

 

Spike glanced up at that and offered a weak smirk. “Right. The day Buffy Summers steers free of curiosity’s the day the world flips over an’ spins on the other axis.”

 

“Never say never,” she retorted dryly. “And believe me or not, I didn’t read it. I saw his name, read enough to know it was the same guy, then closed the book when she started going into his last testament. That was too private.”

 

The vampire nodded numbly, evidently at a loss of contesting her anymore. “’S funny,” he mused, voice distant. “Mary an’ I never said anythin’…not to each other, an’ not to Mum. My pap was…like I told you, sweetling, he was a good man. He jus’…we figured he ran off, y’know? At leas’ I did, an’ I wager Mary did, too. Got to New Orleans, met some trollop, an’ started a new family. It din’t seem like somethin’ he’d do, ‘course…but it was almost easier to believe that than the story that his streamliner was…it was jus’ easier.” A short chuckle reverberated through his throat, dry and unfeeling. “An’ the really ironic bit is, I was brassed. I was right pissed with him for a story I’d made up an’ convinced myself of for years. Knew it wasn’ true somewhere. Guess it was jus’ that an’ a mix of his havin’ gone in the firs’ place. Mum din’t want that, an’ Mary all but got on her knees an’ begged him not to go. But it was a job.” He smiled grimly. “Guess I always wanted to believe that not even death could keep him away. Thinkin’ that he din’t care was better for me. Better than thinkin’ he’d been beaten.”

 

Buffy drew in a deep breath and hesitated, unsure of where to go. If it was appropriate in this case to draw a seat next to him and offer her comfort. When he did not object to her propinquity, she neared as much as she could and again took his hand, offering small strokes of comfort. “You didn’t tell me this,” she said, thumb caressing his knuckles gently. “The night that you told me everything else, you didn’t tell me this.”

 

Spike squeezed her hand. “Every li’l boy likes thinkin’ his pap’s a hero, luv. Take everythin’ else away, an’ mine always was. He spent the years after the war tryin’ to make enough money to come home. Did you read that?”

 

She shook her head.

 

“Got here from the river, I s’pose. There was a fort by Rosalie called Clifton. He was prob’ly shippin’ materials when the Yanks torched the place. Helped take care of that house, tried to help after the war an’ get her money back, then got the fever an’ died.” He released a quivering sigh. “He died here. An’ Mary got hitched, Mum got sick, an’ I got sired. Bloody funny world we live in.” There was another pause, an emotional tug, and he crumbled at last. “God, he must’ve been so disappointed.”

 

That was it. Knowledge thrown out the window; it was all instinct now. Buffy twisted and tugged him into her arms. “No,” she said, caressing the back of his head as his brow found solace at her shoulder. “You’re not responsible for what happened. Not to you or anyone else…well, except for those you, you know, killed…but, that’s a whole other topic and we’re…” A break and a sigh. “I really suck at comfort.”

 

She felt a weak grin against her shoulder. “Sound fine to me, pet.” His hands curled around her arms and he pressed wet, desperate but soft kisses at her throat. “Look at me,” he grumbled, not entirely irate and with more than a dose of humor. “Bloody master vamp seekin’ comfort in the warm embrace of his enemy. I either disappoint my human pap or my entire bloody nature. How’s that for irony?” He rested against her for a few more minutes, collected himself, and pulled back when the change in mood—the change in everything—swept through on a beat that was tacit but unmistakable.

 

They were on the floor in each other’s arms.

 

“Buffy…this is real, right? God, tell me this is real.”

 

A watery smile crossed her face. She nodded. “It’s real. I promise. No more running.”

 

The light of a gentle smile touched his mouth, his eyes considering hers for a long moment before he drew in a reverent breath of concession. A released whisper of her name, and before he drove them both mad, he drew her lips to his.

 

This kiss was different. At the simplest touch, she knew this kiss was different. Not birthed out of confused desperation, not a fleeting taste stolen before the tide changed its course once more. His tongue tasted and teased, loved and worshipped. He explored every inch of her cavern, hands taking chart up her arms until he was caressing the softness of her throat and, eager fingers burrowing into the silkiness of her hair. Buffy was too far lost to ever consider being found. Passion mounted in a sea of murmured promises, coated with pleasured moans and gasps that were delectably suited to drive her out of her mind.

 

Never had any man’s touch ensnared her with both arousal and security. Fired lust that was not frightening—did not exceed the bounds of comfort. This was not a bumbly first or a sloppy second. She had found the piece that matched her puzzle. The face of everything she had searched for to bring a scarred heart to rest.

 

An undercurrent of emotion swept her into an internal river. The terrible urge to laugh with glee coincided with a need to weep with recognition. Instead, she focused the entirety of her attention on him. On this. On pouring every entangled feeling she had through the union of their lips.

 

The next thing she knew, he had released her and tugged her to her feet. She had not realized her leg had fallen asleep until she applied her weight and nearly tumbled. Spike caught her around the waist, his lips seizing hers with flawless ease. And just like that, the mood took a drastic change. Tender remained but gained a dose of empowered lust, surged through contact and set her skin aflame. His teeth nipped at her mouth, his taste more prominent, as though it had held back alongside the stirrings of need.

 

A murmur of complaint tickled her throat when he pulled back, resting his brow against hers as they panted together in recovery. It humbled her that he was so unraveled that he needed to breathe—that his gasps were just as frantic as hers. That the glossy veil over his eyes was so empowered with zeal that the struggle for control mapped across a blue ocean conflicted with storm.

 

“Buffy,” he rasped, lowering his mouth to her throat. “God, I want you so much. Feels like I’ve bloody wanted you forever. ‘S been too long since…I was so sure you—”

 

She smiled and pressed a finger to his lips. “I know,” she said. “Me too. It feels like all the time in the world has gone by. I feel so stupid.”

 

His answering inquiry was muffled, but she caught the drift without fault.

 

“It shouldn’t have been like this,” she said, hands clutching at his shoulders desperately. “I messed everything up.”

 

“Hardly, luv.”

 

“It felt like it there for a while.”

 

A chuckle rumbled through his chest and he pulled back to see her eyes, cupping her face with a note of affection that made her heart swell. “Sweetheart,” he said, “I know it mighta seemed like it, but ‘f tonight hadn’t happened, an’ fuck before I give all else up. You really think I woulda let you go without a fight?” He kissed her forehead almost reverently, thumbs caressing genteel circles into her cheeks. “After everythin’? After this? ‘m made of more than that, pet.”

 

“I know. I didn’t mean—”

 

He cut her off with another blazing kiss, then pulled back before she could respond. “Now,” he said.

 

“Now?”

 

“You gotta tell me now to stop, ‘f that’s what you want. ‘F I let this get any farther, I won’ be able to. I’ve been…God, Buffy, I—”

 

Her eyes widened. He thought she wanted to stop? Now?

 

“No stopping.”

 

Spike perked a brow and she caught a glimpse of a cocky smirk. “No?”

 

And that was that. Nothing else. She had no chance to answer. He was on her the next minute; shoving her against the nearest wall, mouth ravaging hers. His lips were hot and needy in contrast to the coolness of his flesh. Tasting every inch of her cavity, hands on her skin, setting her ablaze without touching her at all. Her own hands curled under his shoulders, her legs entwined around his waist as he pushed his hips into hers with heady, desperate gasps. He pressed himself against her wholly, thoroughly. Let her feel with the wealth of how much he wanted her. And just like that, the pent up emotion—the yearning that she had so long denied herself—everything that had spent the past few days bottled in a perpetual heap of wait, burst through with alarming velocity. Buffy dropped her legs from his waist and pushed him back for a brief minute to catch her breath.

 

His eyes were heavy and studying her with a mixture of adoration and fear. Despite all, he remained on the brink of uncertainty. Teetering toward a knowledge that with her, nothing was ever set in stone.

 

It hurt that she could drive him to such an extreme, and she decided at that moment to never give him reason to doubt again. The next instant, she had hurled herself into his arms, attacking his lips with renewed fervor as he moaned in capitulation and wrapped his arms around her in a motion to never let go. And then the ground beneath her feet vanished completely, and she was flying down the hall to a room that had so recently been hers. A room encased with his scent. With an essence that was so thoroughly Spike that she never wanted to leave.

 

There he gave the ground back to her, and the realism of what was about to happen slammed into her fully for the first time. He must have felt it, too, for his breathing became ragged and his body quivered against hers.

 

“Buffy,” he murmured against her mouth, saying nothing else but leaving himself wide open. She recognized it for what it was. A last cop out. A last chance. His way of saying it was all right now. If she wanted to, she could leave him alone in his room with nothing more than tonight’s promises to sleep to. The words were lost, yes, but the meaning behind them remained as prominent as ever. And if possible, her ardor doubled and the gentility of his thankless grace swept her into a tundra of discovery.

 

There was no way to answer with words. No way words would be acceptable. Buffy smiled instead and brushed a kiss across his lips, her hands skimming down his chest and fisting roughly in the material. The idea of undressing him almost flushed her more than conceiving the picture in full. Sex was one thing; intimacy was another. And despite all the want of it, she had never had an intimate moment with a man that wasn’t Spike. Not truly. She and Angel had come close—very close—but for all the fear, all the anxiety, all the pain, there had never truly been intimacy. Not intimacy in the way it was meant to be experienced.

 

She wasn’t so deluded to believe that a future with Spike was paved with flowers and candy, but the intrinsic rightness buried within every move she made gave her faith. It could not feel so right and be wrong. It simply couldn’t.

 

A trembling breath squeezed through her lips as she dropped his worn t-shirt to the floor and lowered her hands to the skin she had revealed. She was aware that he was watching her closely, but didn’t care. Didn’t look at him; couldn’t. Her eyes were fixated on his chest. His chest that she could touch freely now. Running sensuous laps down his front, stopping to thumb his nipples with coveted liberation. The heady gasp he betrayed only empowered her, and the temptation to taste him became too potent to ignore.

 

Spike hissed and threw his head back when her teeth came out to play, his grip on her shoulder tightening if only to solidify his own foundation. “Fuck.”

 

“Mmmm.”

 

Several mingled pants tinted the air as he struggled for his senses before reaching for her own top. Buffy murmured into his skin, raising her head when she sensed it bordering from too much to the less pleasant side of torment. Her hands trailed a long path up his arms, then lifted as he whisked her shirt over her head.

 

“So beautiful,” he murmured, immediately taking advantage of his eagle view and cupping her laced breasts with devout appreciation. His thumbs found her nipples and rubbed gently through the fabric. “So fucking beautiful.”

 

Buffy licked her lips and thrust herself against the hardness at the apex of her thighs in answer. She curled herself completely in his embrace, a willing lull to his exploration. Little sparks of fire following the cold path his inquisitive fingers took. She was melting from the inside, and the sensation would have been intolerable if it didn’t feel so good.

 

“This almost doesn’ seem real,” Spike whispered, stealing a brief but passion-filled kiss from her lips. “’ve wanted you for so long.” His mouth found her throat again, nibbling softly as his fingers played absently with the straps of her bra. “So long.”

 

She breathed a heady sigh, her hands skimming to his shoulders. She clutched him urgently for a second before reversing her track and tunneling through his hair. His words sealed her with passion, yet terrified her at the same notion. He spoke as though she was the pinnacle of everything he had sought—the ending prize of a long-fought battle. Doubt wracked her body, side-by-side with an underlying fear established with an inferiority complex that had gained ground by a past of failed expectations. The idea that this encounter could spoil that yearning into a rather rude awakening was more worrisome than she could bear.

 

And yet the sensations he inspired wound a tight bundle somewhere deep inside that was screaming for release. Her hands dropped to the clasp on his jeans only to forget themselves for the cool warmth of his mouth on her breast as her bra fell away. The feel of it at its tamest was almost enough to send her over that final edge—she had waited for so long, and the ache of his own desperation was doing a number on hers. She clutched at him, his tongue swirling around one rose nipple and furthering a downward spiral on footing she did not care to regain.

 

“Oh God,” she moaned, thrusting herself against his hardness. “Oh my God.”

 

“Mmm,” he hummed in agreement, pressing an oddly chaste kiss at the swell of her breast before turning to give the other the same treatment. His left hand found the globe of flesh he had abandoned before the cool air could hit her, his right skating delicately down her front to undo the button of her jeans. “Buffy…”

 

It took a second, but her own hands suddenly jarred to the realization that they still existed. She encircled his hips to steady herself before her legs gave way, not surpassing the opportunity to tease his clothed backside. He chuckled into her skin and squeezed her breast in retaliation, inspiring a careless smirk to her lips as her touch moved to the persistent hardness that remained frantic in a need for attention. At her answering grip, he released a long moan and thrust eagerly into her touch, murmuring her name as though she was a god misplaced among the heavens.

 

“This all for me?” she asked softly, squeezing him again.

 

Spike’s insistent suckling intensified in reply. His tongue swirled and consumed, and when she gasped in turn, his hands abandoned their task and pushed her back in a haste that would have wounded had she not landed on the bed.

 

“All for you,” he panted. “Every fuckin’ hard-on I’ve had for the past three years…all for you.”

 

That she wasn’t expecting. A jolt of heat shimmied down her spine. Buffy blinked. “What?”

 

A sheepish grin crossed his lips and he shrugged carelessly. “Can’t help it when a girl’s right, right?” The question was meant to be abstract, but she didn’t follow his rhetoric. Then his expression grew serious, his eyes heavy with the emotion that she had grown so accustomed to. “’S been you for a long time, Buffy,” he said tenderly. “Long before I knew that I even…long before Red’s spell that gave me that firs’ taste. Ever since…God, I don’ even know how long. Maybe since that firs’ night. I honestly don’ remember not feelin’ this way in one form or another.” He shrugged. “Was lust at first, of course. Jus’ flat out lust. An’ yeh, I’ve tried to kill you more times than…but this was always there. Always; jus’ waitin’ for me to recognize it. Waitin’ for me to see what was right in front of me.”

 

Buffy sat in dumb astonishment for a long moment. Her body was numb—void of all reactionary senses. She felt for a blind instant that she was in someone else’s life. A life where things made sense and the endings were always happy. Where love and joy were not two different entities, and embracing the sensation was no more a conflict of morality than was fighting evil a civic duty. Had anyone ever told her that she would be sitting in a room that belonged to Spike, naked the waist up, convinced that she had just lost what little of her heart was left to lose to a vampire she had once hated, she would have laughed them out of the room. But for everything—for the seriousness in his eyes, the tacit imploring for her to understand: to accept him as he was. To know exactly how much this meant to him

 

She must have been quiet a second too long, for the look in Spike’s gaze drifted from heartfelt to dodgy and uncomfortable. The Slayer licked her lips and reached for his hand, tugging him forward until he was situated between her legs at the edge of the bed. Looking down into her eyes that answered for everything she still could not assign to words.

 

It was enough. In a flash, he had her back on the mattress; his mouth worshipped hers. He was only over her for an instant—urgency piling on every refrain. A rediscovered reason for everything. He drew his lips down her body, kissing and licking every inch of flesh he came across.

 

Then his weight was gone altogether, not without a murmur of complaint that went just as well ignored. Eager hands turned to the fastening on her jeans once more, born with enthusiasm that made her heart pound faster than she thought possible.

 

“Bloody hate trousers,” he grumbled, fidgeting with the zipper. The look on his face was so adorably frustrated that she could not help but laugh, and his answering smirk sent heat right back to her face in a non-verbal exchange of tug-of-war. The next thing she knew, he had stripped her pants away and consigned them to the floor.

 

“There,” he breathed admiringly, heavy eyes taking in the full sight of her. Buffy on his bed. Buffy wearing nothing but her frilly panties on his bed. The tension in his groin tightened without warning, and he had turned his hands to his own trousers the next minute.

 

The bed shifted as the Slayer sat up, grasping his wrist and bringing his perusal to a pause. He sent her a questioning look that she answered with a shy smile, her inquisitive fingers itching past his to take to the fastenings herself. The tenderness in the gesture took him by surprise; he released a quivering sigh and pressed a loving kiss across her shoulder.

 

“Buffy…”

 

“Shhhh.”

 

An inferno of splendor. Spike gasped as his cock sprang into her hand, her touch delicate, exploratory, and not above driving him out of his mind. Watching her like this was strangely akin to the way she had looked the other night. Her brow pressed to his, her eyes closed reverently. Her small grasp teasing him to lengths he hadn’t thought possible. The sopping heat from her wetness tainting the air. As her touch gained momentum, he dropped his hands to her lap and pushed the fabric of her panties aside. There was something about this alone that moved him more than anything they had done—anything he had experienced. Sitting in a dark room, caressing each other intimately. Bearing that sort of honesty for something that was not supposed to exist.

 

Liquid fire drenched his hand and his nostrils flared. And when her thumb began caressing the head of his cock with tantalizingly gentle strokes, his body quivered and he forced her back onto the bed, eyes blazing with need.

 

“Won’ last,” he gasped, hooking his thumbs under the cotton of her panties and practically tearing them down her legs. “You’re too much.”

 

“I hadn’t even—”

 

He shook his head. “’S not that, it’s you. You’re too fucking much. Gonna go out of my mind.” He finished kicking off his jeans in a hurry and settled over her before she could miss his presence. His presence that was not warm—more a cooling blanket to settle over her burning skin. “God, you smell so good.”

 

“Spike…”

 

“Gotta have a taste.”

 

Her eyes went wide. “Spike! I want you—”

 

“—want you too, baby.”

 

“Inside!”

 

“Gonna be. Want my taste firs’.”

 

“Thought you’ve already had a taste.”

 

He shrugged innocently. “A bloke can’t have seconds? Most girls love this.”

 

“I do. But I want you.”

 

“Gonna have me. Jus’ wanna make sure you’re ready.”

 

“I’m ready, trust me.”

 

A devious smile crossed his lips and he edged a finger inside her warmth. “Oh yeh,” he purred. “Good an’ ready.”

 

Buffy nearly bucked off the bed. “God, you’re gonna kill me.”

 

Spike’s smirk faded to a bemused grin as he slid another finger into her. “That’s it, ladies an’ gents. Slayer’s sussed out my evil plan. Death by shaggin’.”

 

“Oohhh…”

 

A grin on his lips, he dipped his head and brushed a kiss over her stomach, licking a wet path to her womanhood. His fingers probing, driving her out of her mind. She cried out and arched off the bed again, hands clenching the linens with such fervor that she nearly ripped them to shreds. Despite the interlude the other night, she never thought that his insistence on pleasuring her this way was something he enjoyed. No man had ever attempted. Granted, her own experience in the sex department was not exactly leaping off the charts; she knew enough just from girl talks with various unsatisfied students in class and an assortment of dirty films she, Xander, and Willow had rented one weekend—a dare to see who blushed first—to know that men liked receiving and weren’t big on the giving.

 

Parker had more than proved his affinity for receiving, and she had spent the next few days following his hurtful brush-off wondering if he acted the way he did because she refused to give him a blowjob. Not that Buffy was above that—she simply had never done it before, and she didn’t particularly want her first time at such an intimate act to be with a man she just met. A man that she didn’t know well enough to trust.

 

That trust-part should have qualified for the sex itself. She had more than learned her lesson.

 

Which was why being with Spike after everything was more rewarding than anything else. The time she had asked for had nearly torn her apart—not for wanting entirely, but enough to send her hormones over the edge. They had grown, built trust, developed something beyond the ordinary. And now here they were. Spike between her thighs, teasing her to uncharted planes of ecstasy with his tongue. Drank the full of her fountain with expertise that drove her promptly out of her mind. He entered her cautiously, drew her clit into his mouth and sucked until she saw stars. The weight and experience of such an explosive release was still so foreign to her. And she wondered, recovering, if the vampire nuzzling her curls would always hold the capacity to make her feel this way.

 

Or if he would tire of her and leave like all the others.

 

As though sensing the thought, he favored her quivering skin with another long lick of his tongue and nuzzled her inner thigh. Simple adoration out of simple gestures. And she knew then. She knew.

 

“Spike…”

 

That was all the urging he required. He prowled up her body with a slow smile, swooping her mouth into another toe-curling kiss. A wrangled gasp tore at his throat when he felt her small hand encircling his cock once more, aligning him with her entrance. And for all the willpower in the world, he found the strength to grasp her wrist and stop her before they crossed the final barrier. Before it would be too late for her to change her mind, and he fell into her completely.

 

“Buffy? This…are you sure?”

 

Where all this superfluous chivalry came from, he knew not. His body ached for hers in ways he had never before ached. In nearly a hundred and thirty years, he had never known such exquisite torment.

 

But it had to be said. It had to.

 

And for the way she looked at him—a wealth of awe, a few shades of annoyance, but more appreciation than anyone had ever granted him with. She smiled a smile that would outshine the sun, and nodded a wordless consent.

 

It was the smile that did it. The smile that pushed him over. That set all boundaries away. Spike laced his fingers through hers and caressed her mouth in a loving kiss, then slowly began to slide inside.

 

And it was too much. Already too much. A gasp scratched at his throat as she clenched around him, her answering moan music to his ears. God, so tight. Tighter and tighter. He was barely within her, and he knew he was lost. Lost on this alone. The most blissful sensation he had ever known. His body clenched and he forced himself to a standstill to gather his bearings. It unearthed him that she could affect him so effortlessly. That simply by being, he risked everything he was.

 

It didn’t matter, though. Not as long as she was there.

 

“Oh God,” he moaned, drawing in a breath sliding completely within her. Buried to the hilt. And lost so thoroughly he didn’t care to ever be found. “Oh my God.”

 

Buffy’s head was thrown back against the pillow, her eyes closed piously. For the breaths she took, the wondrous expression on her face, he tumbled and fell all over again. She was here. She was really here. And it was real.

 

“Buffy…” Her name rolled off his lips like a prayer. “Look at me, baby. Please.”

 

She did, and he nearly gasped for the wealth she had tried to hide. It was unlike anything he had ever seen before. A reflection lacking from any of the women in his past. More than lust and familiarity—more than anyone had ever given him. More, just from a look. There she was.

 

With a deep breath, he withdrew from her heat and sank inside again. Watching her face contort in pleasure was a privilege he vowed to never take for granted. This, being here, everything.

 

“God,” he gasped. “Fuck, I’ve never felt anythin’ like this.”

 

She shook her head. “I…me, either.”

 

That was all he needed. It wasn’t much, but it was what he needed. His head settled at her shoulder, his hands tightening around hers. He settled her arms over the mattress, squeezing intimately with every thrust and parry. Her inner walls clenched him with every withdrawal, her hips rising to recapture. It was all heaven. The closest to heaven that he had ever been, or would ever be. Comfort, light, all in the arms of the Slayer. He hadn’t loved her long, but he had felt this since the beginning. And knowing that it was her, that this wasn’t some ornate fantasy, that she was really with him…it was too much. The rhythm he set was tender—he couldn’t help it. A demon wanted it rough, a man treasured what he had. And he would treasure this. There wasn’t abuse, and that surprised him. He was so accustomed to abuse.

 

This felt more like love.

 

Every stroke scorched his skin, every time he withdrew his body lamented her loss. A haven of sweet torture. And she was matching him. Outmatching him. Throwing him for a bloody loop. The shades that crossed her face, the expressions of pleasure, the coloring of something he was hesitant to name—he was so terrified of perfection. Of reaching something that was perfect only to spoil it for what he was. Her hips lifted with his to recapture him every time he pulled away, her hands grasping his as though he held her to the world and letting go would make all fall away.

 

But she did let go. She let go and tugged his mouth down to hers. She kissed him thoroughly, breaking only when she had to gasp for air. He seized the opportunity to nip at her breasts and lave her nipples with his tongue, his eyes on her face all the while. Watching her—unable to do anything but. Releasing a moan into her skin when her thighs clenched around him. Her legs bound around his waist instinctively; his own hands finding hers and pushing them back to the mattress.

 

A muffled sob rumbled from her lips and broke the golden silence that surrounded them. His thrusts grew deeper, her hips lifting rhythmically. Touching areas that had never been touched. “Spike…”

 

He released a steady breath and lowered his head to her throat. “Sweetness?”

 

“Talk to me.”

 

“Mmmm,” he mused, hips jerking forward. “What do you wanna hear?”

 

“How…” A blush favored her cheeks and charmed him completely. How she could find something to blush about as they shared something more candid and open than any other act meant for two people was thoroughly adorable. “How…do you…what do you feel?”

 

Spike’s eyes rolled inside his head, his thrusts gaining momentum. “I don’ even know how to answer that, luv,” he murmured. And then, having a task that seemed impossible, he had no choice but to accept. “God, you feel so good. So bloody good. Gonna burn alive, baby. Like satin kissed by the sun, that’s how you feel. Never been so good. Never felt anythin’ like this.”

 

“Never,” she agreed. “Oh God, never been like this.”

 

“’S you, Buffy. It’s all you.” He smiled gently and brushed damp locks of hair from her forehead. “God, I could stay here forever. You’re so warm. So tight. So fucking perfect.”

 

“Spike—”

 

“Never gonna let you go, sweetheart. Never.”

 

She threw her head back, her hands seeking freedom. She clutched with newfound desperation at his shoulders, recognizing dimly that she was scratching new rivers into his arms but didn’t have the foresight to care. And if anything, the slight hint of pain inspired a symphony within. His hips whirled with every thrust; stroking regions within her she didn’t know existed. “Oh God.”

 

Spike’s head dipped, lips brushing a reverent kiss against her throat as his attentions sharpened. She squeezed her thighs around his and sank her teeth into his shoulder, earning a strangled gasp and a frenzy of desperate thrusts. And then his hands abandoned her, one returning to her breasts, the other venturing where they were joined.

 

It was a sensory explosion when she came. A bang that banished everything but the man she clutched to the far recesses of who cares. Blinding white spots of perpetual brilliance. It wracked every nerve in her body; touched every part of her there was to touch. Sent shivers along with spots of heat that were nearly unbearable. Too much compact in one. Too much, and not enough. She felt it would never end and that it would end too quickly. A sob tore at her throat and her body refused to slow. The knowledge it brought with it was almost dangerous, but she knew what it meant. And like all else, for the world, it didn’t matter. Not right now. Nothing mattered now except this moment. Nothing.

 

A starry blaze of color. Her eyes were still shut. And when she felt Spike follow her over, the sensation rejuvenated. Sparked to new life. Reached new heights. She dared to look at him, unsurprised and not frightened to see fangs. His own eyes were shut as well, hands clutched frantically at hers. The look on his face, demon and all, was a picture of pleasured peace—so lovely, beyond description yet simple enough to know exactly what it meant.

 

And then it happened. The thing happened. Something unprecedented. Something she had not expected tonight to bring. A whisper above all else, but there nonetheless. There. With them. Spike’s face melted back to his human guise, a watery, near-dreamlike appearance about him. “God, Buffy,” he gasped. “I love you. I love you so much.”

 

The minute the words touched the air in their breadth, the world stopped. Everything stopped. Spike’s eyes opened in alarm and glanced to her in a panic, but it was too late. It was out there. They were out there, and he could not take them back.

 

Buffy just looked at him, gaze wide and imploring. Every nerve ending was numb with shock—with jubilation and relaxed bliss. She knew she should say something; somewhere, she knew she should say something. There was nothing amidst internal squealing. Nothing but him. An inward recitation stuck on repeat. Oh God. Spike loved her. Spike loved her.

 

She wanted to say it back more than anything, but feared it all the same. Feared what it meant. Feared his reaction. Feared his thinking she was saying it because he had said it. Because he had crossed that border. That unspoken line between sex and intimacy defined with words. Real words. Spike loved her.

 

Spike loved her.

 

“Buffy?” His voice was small and timid. Panicked, but not beyond inquisitive. Searching for an answer that she could not give tonight. An answer that had to be as real to him as his declaration was to her now. Something born out of perfection. “Buffy, I—”

 

She pressed a finger to his lips and smiled softly. No more words tonight. She had all the words she needed. Words to last a lifetime. A quivering sigh stretched her body, and she waited until she had an answering smile before she let her hand drop to his again. The tension in his eyes refused to waver, but it welcomed in her warmth.

 

She tugged his mouth down to hers and kissed him with all the feeling she had. And when his body relaxed against hers, she pulled away and hugged him to her. Hugged and pressed her lips to his shoulder. Hugged him with everything she had.

 

Her heart pounded against his unanswering chest. A mantra set in her mind. Spike loved her. He loved her. And regardless of what tomorrow brought, what evils they had yet to face, he loved her now.

 

And that was all that mattered.

 

Chapter Twenty-Nine

 

 

“You know what I don’t understand,” Josh said, drawing the attention of the small semi-circle that was situated in a nook of the Eola Hotel lobby. He turned to Donna, unblinking when she rolled her eyes in droll expectation of his criticism. “With everything you’ve seen, with an ancient Roman god gaining power and Slayers running a quiet muck, how you can insist on researching the ghost cat.”

 

“The same way you can continuously ignore the cat’s validity.”

 

“Opening the door for one demon doesn’t make them all real, Donna. I don’t remember Giles saying anything about a ghost cat.”

 

There was a low grumble from the opposing arch. “For God’s sake,” Toby snapped. “With everything that’s going on, the fact that both of you are focused on a stupid cat that has nothing to do with anything is a good excuse why half the country doesn’t trust the US government.”

 

Willow shifted from where she was partially reclined against Sam. Their recent even-closer closeness had raised a few eyebrows, and while the explanation that they needed to read out of the same book was somewhat logical, no one truly accepted that as an excuse. It wasn’t as though there was a mass objection to their relationship—it was just somewhat annoying to watch them be so obvious without coming clean.

 

Or so Josh had observed, only to be interrupted by a series of coughs.

 

“I’d say taxes,” the redhead volunteered with a sheepish smile, “but cats are a reasonable scapegoat.”

 

“Now that’s original,” the Communications Director retorted. “Imagine a citizen complaining about an institution that betters the country.”

 

Sam straightened reasonably. “She just said the taxes are high, Toby; she didn’t propose Communism.”

 

“I-I don’t think the taxes are too high,” Willow argued, befuddled. “I just…with the ghost cat and…” She glanced at her seating companion weakly. “Help?”

 

Donna scowled and whacked Josh upside the head. “See what you did.”

 

“Me? It was you.”

 

“You brought up the thing.”

 

“There wouldn’t be a thing to bring up if you wouldn’t stop with the cat.”

 

“She wasn’t talking about the fucking cat, Josh!” Toby looked ready to kill someone. “She was making a comment about that whatchamacallit that Spike thinks he saw the other night. She said nothing about a cat.”

 

There was a long pause. “I think I liked you better when you were a hermit,” the Deputy Chief of Staff remarked. “Why aren’t you helping Giles and Wes with the thing?”

 

“Because I’m not.”

 

Sam cleared his throat. “Have you talked to Leo today?” he asked Josh.

 

“Yes. For all the good it’s done, yes.”

 

“Still nothing?”

 

“A big nothing.”

 

Willow shrugged helplessly and offered a weak consolatory smile. “At least it’s a big nothing, right?”

 

Donna flashed the redhead a grateful glance.

 

Josh just looked at her for a long minute before shaking his head and abandoning the topic completely. “Is Xander with Giles?” he asked.

 

“I think Anya made him go with,” the Witch agreed. “She’s done nothing but complain about how she’s not getting paid for all the demon resourciness she’s done over the past few days…for all the good it’s done.”

 

The blonde nodded. “Why is it taking so long?”

 

“Because the text is difficult to translate in one language; let alone three that are all with the mixy to make a brand new language.” She sighed. “Giles knows Latin and a little Greek—Wes knows Greek, I think. And between them, they know Assyrian. And they’re old…so they like…old stuff.” She cleared her throat when that observation earned a series of pointed glares, particularly from the man who was currently acting as her body pillow. “But this text is beyond old. It’s something that would fall under Giles’s least favorite category of ‘predates history.’ Not even Anya knows it…but what little she knows has us much further ahead than we would’ve been otherwise.”

 

“How does something predate history?” Josh demanded. “History doesn’t stop. We’re history, right now. What we’re doing is history. As long as there have been people, there has been history. So this book that Buffy and Spike took from that house is something that predates ‘Let there be light’? How in God’s name does that work? Who the hell wrote it?”

 

Willow shrugged sheepishly. “I really don’t know,” she said. “I follow what Giles does as close as I can, but there is so much that I still don’t know. I always just took that at face value…that it predated the era in which history started getting written. And since this book specializes on the god Quirinias, I’m thinking either he had a hand in writing it, or his followers…more likely his followers. And that’s what makes it so tricky. He was originally a Sabine god; it wasn’t until a few centuries later that the Romans adapted him. The breaks in the language are almost impossible to follow because it was written during, between, and after that time period. So when he was still a Sabine god, predominantly, you don’t have a lot of Latin, and it’s just Assyrian and Greek. A whole different form of translation. When it is during and after the time that the Romans adapted him, you’re back to throwing Latin in the mix.”

 

“If Quirinias was a Sabine god, then why is it in—”

 

Willow shrugged again. “Spite?”

 

“So if it’s as impossible as you’re making it sound,” Josh said slowly, “then why the hell do we think we’re gonna be able to crack down on this terrible thing that Sam started before it happens?”

 

“Did you have to throw in the ‘Sam’ part?” Sam demanded.

 

“Yes. This is your fault.”

 

The redhead frowned defensively. “Hey! He didn’t know!”

 

“So you go reading aloud from all strange books you come across?”

 

Toby stared at Josh wryly. “He’s Sam,” he said. “You’ve known him longer than I have.”

 

“Again, hermit.”

 

Donna threw her head back and moaned, slamming her book shut. “Ugh. Josh, you need to be in a zoo.”

 

Sam cracked a weak smile. “‘Don’t feed the Lyman.’”

 

“I do not belong in a zoo.”

 

The blonde shook her head stubbornly. “Some zoo time would be very good for you.”

 

“I don’t see how you all have accepted everything that’s happened at face value,” he grumbled. “She just told us that we’re basically depending on a long shot from two British wizards who are supposed to know what they’re doing while the girl who’s a Slayer and the vampire are always off alone together and the other Slayer hasn’t been seen since…” He trailed off abruptly and tossed his friend an apologetic look. “Hasn’t been seen in a while.”

 

“‘Don’t feed the Lyman,’” Sam said again, shrugging the mention off with a shudder but pulling the redhead closer at the same time. “It’s fine.”

 

“Buffy’s not the researchy type,” Willow argued defensively. “And hey. If we’re expecting her to save the world, we shouldn’t be with the judgy. A-and Spike doesn’t know Assyrian, which is really all he could do to help. So…there.”

 

“Besides,” Donna added, “you’re the one that disappeared and got drunk with Spike down at some shack Under The Hill.”

 

“That place was perfectly respectful.”

 

“You passed out under the counter.”

 

“It looked like a good place to pass out.”

 

“And I’m the one that gets the call at two in the morning from a very drunk vampire because my cell was the only number he could find in your wallet.”

 

Josh’s eyes widened. “He went through my wallet?! I was wondering why I was forty dollars short this morning.”

 

The redhead frowned. “It was probably an accident,” she said. “Well, it might’ve been. I don’t know how good he’s trying to be for Buffy, so it might’ve been just that he saw money and his Ego said, ‘take.’”

 

Sam and Josh exchanged a glance. “He’s trying to be good for Buffy,” the former said. “Very good. I don’t know if that includes petty theft or not.”

 

“I’m saying not,” the Deputy Chief of Staff replied. “Else I wouldn’t be missing two twenties.”

 

“Don’t have to bring that up again.” Willow pouted. “Still say, hello! Best friend, here. He should’ve called me.”

 

Josh’s eyes narrowed skeptically. “She was pretty strong. I don’t know if you coulda handled her.”

 

“This coming from all the handling of her that you did?” Sam retorted.

 

If anything, that made the redhead angrier. Who knows what sort of drunken wiles her friend might have put the poor man under. After all, Buffy had a thing for hot older men with dark hair…or she had until recent, anyway. “You made Sam do the handling?”

 

“Don’t look so surprised,” Donna advised. “Josh is just a big girl.”

 

“Hey!”

 

“But…” Willow scowled. “He made Sam do the handling of drunk and gropey Buffy? With the…with what happened and…what happened? Gah.”

 

“She was gropey?” Josh’s eyes widened and he turned to Sam. “I don’t remember her being gropey. Right. Next time, I’ll handle the attractive, drunk, gropey blondes.”

 

Toby blinked slowly. “What?”

 

“She wasn’t gropey.” Sam frowned defensively. “At least not with me. I think the only victim of any serious groping was Spike.”

 

Some of the tension vacated Willow’s eyes, and she nodded and sat back. “Oh, okay,” she said. “It’s okay, then. I guess.” She made a face. “I still don’t know how I feel about that in general, but I think it’s safe to say that Spike probably won’t care what Buffy does to him in the long run as long as it’s…void of stakeage.” She released a long breath and tossed Toby an apologetic glance. “Sorry. You’re kinda outta the loop. We can try and bring you up to speed if you like.”

 

He looked at her. “I cannot stress how much I do not care,” he said after a long minute.

 

“Oh. Okay, then.”

 

“Still say you couldn’t have handled her,” Josh reiterated. “It was a job for men. It was a manly job.”

 

Willow and Donna’s eyes narrowed simultaneously. “Oh please,” they said in unison.

 

“You’re such a girl,” the former accused again, thwacking her boss’s leg with her book.

 

“And hello. Magicks, anyone? I have magic. I could’ve…you know…magicked her off Spike.”

 

Josh took a minute to scowl at his impervious assistant before turning back to the redhead. “You know, Willow,” he said. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you actually do any of that so-called magic stuff. Taking a lot on faith, here.”

 

Sam whimpered at the mention of Faith. Willow glared at Josh and patted her practically-boyfriend’s knee in reassurance. Then, out of nothing but spite, she waved her hand in his direction and grumbled, “Cado,” as though the Deputy Chief of Staff for the President of the United States was not worth anything more than an afterthought.

 

There was a squeal as Josh’s chair fell back—a shrill, undoubtedly girlish squeal that had Donna, Sam, and Toby in stitches. Willow beamed proudly and made an unsuccessful attempt at stifling a giggle. For the man himself, there was nothing to do but sputter indignantly and climb to his feet.

 

“An accident,” he grumbled. “Chairs don’t like me.”

 

Willow raised her hand again, repeated the word, and the seat fell back once more—this time graciously void of an occupant.

 

Josh stared at the turned-over chair for a long moment, then glanced slowly to the redhead responsible. “I know what you are,” he said decisively. “You’re the Wicked Witch of the West.”

 

She scoffed crossly. “I am not!”

 

“She is not!” Sam yelped. Donna’s protest soon followed.

 

“Oh no? She’s wicked, she’s a witch, and she’s from California. She’s the Wicked Witch of the West, theme music and all.” And then, as if to solidify his acclamation, Josh started whistling said theme music.

 

Donna rolled her eyes. “Ignore him,” she advised. “He’s just upset because now everyone knows he’s a girl.”

 

“I’m honestly surprised it took this long for people to notice,” Toby added drolly.

 

“Hey!” Josh frowned. “You’re supposed to be on my side!”

 

“So now chaos has rules? Nice to know. Anyway…” The man shifted and closed the book he had not so much as blinked at since sitting down. “Seeing as we’re getting so much work done, I’m going upstairs and sit at the grown-ups table for a while. Maybe they’ve done something worthwhile in the past two hours.”

 

Donna nodded and followed suit. “I’ll come with you.”

 

“Me, too,” Josh added.

 

Toby just stared at them. “You do realize that this negates the objective of trying to get away from you, right?”

 

The two looked back at him blankly, then at the ground, to each other, and back again. Donna offered nothing but a shrug; Josh a wide grin and a broad gesture. “Lead the way,” he said.

 

The blonde turned back to Sam and Willow, who had not made a motion to move. “Are you two coming?”

 

“If you throw them in,” Toby said, “I’ll stay here and you four can go upstairs.”

 

Willow shook her head. “I’m staying here. There’s a binding spell I wanna look into. See if I can get actual ingredients that aren’t makeshift and therefore ineffective to try on Faith when we see her again.”

 

There was a long silence before Sam realized that they were waiting for his answer, though as his arms and lap were busy cradling a good part of the redhead that had no intent on moving. He offered a sheepish smile, though, and shrugged. “I’m going to stay here,” he said. “And…look at spells, too.”

 

The Witch bit back a grin.

 

“That’s all we need the press to find out,” Josh said as the three started heading in the direction of the elevators. “The President’s Deputy Communications Director has been studying witchcraft.” He paused and whistled good-naturedly. “God, Sam, that’s one bio you’re building for yourself. Prostitutes, convicts, and witchcraft. Danny’d have a field day with that.”

 

Sam smirked but reddened all the same, rubbing Willow’s back in reassurance. “She’s not a prostitute,” he corrected. “She is a call girl.”

 

There was a snicker and a muffled retort, but nothing more flagrant than the inquiry reflecting from a pair of chestnut eyes. The same eyes that belonged to a girl he feared he was falling in love with. “I accidentally slept with a call girl,” he said.

 

“So I’ve heard.”

 

His gaze widened in alarm. “You’ve heard? Oh God, from where? When I find the little creep that leaked—”

 

“Sam.” She grinned. “You’ve mentioned it at least twice. That’s how I know.”

 

He seemed to seriously contemplate this for a minute. “I’ve mentioned it?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Around you?”

 

She nodded. “Around me.”

 

That was it. Sam’s face fell, completely bereft. “Well,” he said. “This is bad on so many levels.”

 

“Sam…do you wanna tell me about the prostitute? It’s okay. Mum’s the word.” She zipped her mouth demonstratively. “I won’t tell a soul…o-or even a non-soul. Cross my heart.”

 

“She’s a call girl,” he corrected mechanically. “And I trust you, Willow. You know that.”

 

“You do? I do?”

 

He blinked, looking despondent all over again. “You don’t know that I trust you?”

 

“Well…I thought you did. I mean, I’ve thought you did. I haven’t actually sat down and thought this out, but I assumed…I just didn’t know for sure, you know?” Willow sat up, placing her book aside. “You’ve done nothing to make me think that you don’t trust me…unless this conversation makes you not trust me, and then it’s a thing and—”

 

“Willow.”

 

“Yeah?”

 

Sam silenced her with a kiss that had her melting in seconds and ended far too quickly. “I trust you.”

 

“Oh,” she said, blinking. Her lips tingled. “Okay.”

 

“I think I should tell you about Laurie.”

 

“Okay,” she echoed. Then blinked and straightened. “Who’s Laurie?”

 

“The call girl. And I need to tell you about Mallory, too.”

 

“Two call girls?”

 

His eyes about boggled out of his head. “What? No! No, Laurie’s the only call girl. And that was a mistake. A complete mistake. Well, I’m glad I know her and I wouldn’t trade our friendship for anything…not that there’s been any more sex, because there hasn’t. It was just the one night and it was an accident. In fact, it was—”

 

“Sam.”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“I trust you. Can you get on with it? Who’s Mallory?”

 

A sigh coursed through his system and he relaxed. “I’ve mentioned my boss’s daughter, right?” She nodded. “That’s Mallory. She and I kind of had a thing.”

 

Her heart fell. “You’re dating your boss’s daughter?”

 

“No. No!” He held up a hand for clarification. “I am not dating Mallory. We’re not a thing. We were on the way to becoming a thing, and we might’ve been a thing, but then we left for Vicksburg and ended up here and I met you and I like you and I don’t want to date Mallory anymore…not that she’s forgettable or anything, it’s just she’s not Willow and I want to date Willow…and since you’re Willow, that means I want to date you.”

 

“You do?”

 

He looked at her for a long minute. “I said I wanted us to be a thing, right? Or was that a conversation that I was thinking about having?”

 

“No. We’ve definitely established our thing-ness.” She blushed prettily and glanced down. “B-but…say Buffy saves the world, which she will do, because she’s Buffy and that’s sort’ve her job…you’re going back to DC and I go back to Sunnydale and it’s kinda hard to be a thing if we’re an entire country apart. And you’re a good looking guy and I’m sure this Mallory isn’t exactly hard on the eyes…” She looked up at him slowly, daring him to lie to her.

 

He did not disappoint, though. Rather, Sam nodded honestly. “She’s a cute redhead,” he said. Then smiled. “Seems I have a thing for redheads.”

 

“But I’m cuter, right?”

 

“She couldn’t hold a candle to you.”

 

Willow’s flush deepened. It was a line. She might not have had the experience that other girls did, but she knew lines when she heard them. And yet, sitting here with Sam, she had the funny feeling that he meant it. “Well, regardless,” she continued. “What happens when Buffy saves the world and we all go home? I’m just a freshman in college and you’re all with the career and the future. Not to mention…” She gestured to herself. “Witch. So add in witch and young and politics and you have yourself a scandal. What’s going to happen?”

 

“My life’s my life. The public has no right to know.”

 

“The public has this tendency to decide what they have a right to know by themselves.”

 

“Now you sound like Josh.”

 

Willow shrugged. “Josh is a pretty smart guy.”

 

“Whatever. I’m willing to gamble it.”

 

“Your career? Sam, we don’t know each other that well. I mean, I know you and I really like you but…we don’t know how or if this would work, long-term. Long-distance.” She shrugged again helplessly. “I don’t know if I’m even ready for that type of relationship.”

 

At that, he looked wounded. “You don’t want us to be a thing?”

 

“Oh, no. I do. I really do. I just…with the hurt and the heartache and I don’t wanna get into this so far that I go through what I went through when Oz left. Because you…that’d kill me.” She shook her head. “The last thing I wanted was to feel this way again. And so soon. It’s so soon.”

 

“Am I the rebound guy?”

 

“No, and that’s what scares me. That plus age, politics, and distance. What’s going to happen?”

 

“The age thing bothers you?”

 

“No. Not me. But it would others. Many others. You know, the sort of others that vote every four years, even though they should vote every two, but that’s an entirely different thing.” She heaved a deep sigh. “I don’t want to hurt you politically. And if our being a thing makes it difficult for the President to get reelected, I’d never forgive myself.”

 

Sam laughed shortly. “I really don’t think that would effect the election, Willow—”

 

“Oh? Then why was there a thing with Leo and the drugs? And Josh pissing off the Religious Right not too long ago? Not to mention your wigging about people finding out about the prostitute—” She stopped herself. “—call girl. People said your friends should quit because it’d hurt the administration. If that’s enough to make people not like the President, then why do you think they’d overlook your dating a witch that’s just barely legal?” She held up a hand. “A-and was involved in blowing up her high school? And was in Natchez with you?” A long, tormented sigh hissed through her lips. “I just don’t see how this is going to work.”

 

“Willow, there’s something you’ve overlooked.” He took her hands in his and waited until he had her eyes before continuing. “Leo was wrong in his addiction to Valium and alcohol. I love the man like a father, but he was wrong. Josh was wrong to piss off the Religious Right. And accident or not, I was wrong to sleep with Laurie. I’m not the type of man that sleeps with a woman on a first date. Or picks them up in bars, for that matter. I’m not a whore.” He bit off a grimace and flashed her an apologetic glance. “That didn’t come out like it should, but you understand, right?” She smiled a bit and nodded. “Good. My point is, dating you isn’t wrong. I’m not in the wrong here. Yes, you’re young, but do you have any idea how many trophy wives I see in my line of work? And there are men who pay women like Laurie to go to with them to certain functions, which really makes me angry because she’s above it and really needs to rethink her occupation, especially since it’s against the law and—”

 

“Sam.”

 

“Trophy wives,” he said, coming back to his original train of thought. “And quite frankly, I’d rather have an open, honest relationship with you than do what a lot Republicans do and keep mistresses stashed in the closet while preaching on morals and family values.”

 

“Sam?”

 

“Okay, so Democrats do it, too. But not while talking about morals and family values. We can be hypocrites, but not quite as blatant and as stunningly so as Republicans.” He grumbled something under his breath. “I just wish they weren’t so good at it.”

 

“I think it’s the asking the country for forgiveness when caught—you know, running mascara, pleas and sobs for prayers? Yeah.” Willow stopped and closed her eyes. “Sam. I want this to be a thing. I do. You just have to understand where I’m coming from.”

 

“I have a lot of benefits with my job,” he said. “I’d be able to fly out to California a lot. See you.”

 

“Is that a good idea? What if the press got a hold—”

 

He shook his head. “Willow, we’ll figure something out. I’m not going to throw in the rag on us yet. I like you too much for that.”

 

That was it. The blush was back. “Yeah,” she agreed. “I like you too much for that, too.”

 

“We’ll figure something out,” he said again, shoulders slumping. “And hey! Look at the bright side. Maybe Buffy won’t stop the apocalypse and we won’t have to worry about what the public thinks at all.”

 

Willow licked her lips, perked a brow, then waited calmly for him to realize what exactly he had said.

 

It didn’t take long. “That’s not much of a bright side, is it?”

 

“No,” she agreed. “Not much of one at all.” A gentle smile touched her mouth, and she threw caution to the wind and kissed him thoroughly. “But thanks for the thought.”

 

Sam smiled back and wrapped an arm around her, drawing her back to the sofa and against his shoulder. “Anytime,” he said, brushing his lips across her forehead as he reached for the book they had discarded. “Anytime.”

 

Then he opened the book and they read together. No more words. Just companionable silence, an occasional squeeze, and even more occasional kiss. But no more, just that. Seated together comfortably. As though they had spent their entire lives this way.

 

It was a daunting feeling, but Willow reveled in it. There had only been a connection like this with one other man, and she missed the comfort. The ease. The joy of being that close.

 

As for feeling this feeling with Sam, she was just afraid to love it too much. Despite his reassurances, she could not shake the feeling that there would be more hurt than joy in the end. And that she would not survive it. Surviving Oz had been trying enough—there was no way she could survive Sam.

 

No way. But the end would be worth it. So worth it.

 

If she could just make it there.

 

Chapter Thirty

 

 

Spike had his arm around her middle, pulling her back against his cool chest. His mouth was attentively showering her throat with sweet, loving kisses, his fingers stroking her skin with fragile care. As though, despite her being the Slayer, there was every possibility that she could crumble in his embrace. These sensations alongside the persistent nudge of his arousal at her backside—the same that never seemed to get any rest—combined the haven for her wake. If only every morning could be like this.

 

Similarly, the cool body pressed against her aided in the recall of every delicious detail the night before had provided. No blurry recollection—it was all there. Her adrenaline would not let her forget; nor would her sore-in-a-good-way and likewise amply willing body.

 

Buffy’s cheeks flooded with heat that wasted no time in warming every inch of her skin. She smiled shyly and pressed back against him, rejoicing in the liberty to do so. He rewarded her with a low moan and a needy thrust forward, the arm around her middle tightening.

 

“Mornin’, baby,” he purred, hand sliding up her stomach to caress a breast. “Sleep well?”

 

She turned slightly to look at him; his mouth sweeping hers the moment it was within reach. “Sleep? Did we actually do any of that last night?”

 

“Beggars can’t be choosers…though, I think that’s a philosophy we sufficiently disproved.” He grinned. “Either way, you’re the one that woke me up with a tongue bath.”

 

“I’m also the one that woke up with your…” She blushed again and tore her eyes from his, pressing her back against him once again and settling on her side. “Well, your—”

 

“You’re adorable.”

 

“Am not.”

 

“I beg to differ.” His hand abandoned her breast to scale southward. “Sugar an’ spice an’ everythin’ nice. Full of ripe, delicious ambrosia. An’ I woke you up ‘cause I wanted a li’l taste. ‘Sides…” Spike bit down gently at the softness of her throat as two fingers slid into her warmth. He smiled into her skin when she gasped and bucked back, answering her with a sharp thrust of his hips. “Don’ recall you complainin’ at the time.”

 

Buffy whimpered, clenching her muscles around his invasive touch. The cry became desperate as his hand withdrew, arms encouraging her to turn so that they were face to face. When she found herself looking into his eyes again, her insides melted with the potency of buried kindliness. Her leg was over his waist the next minute, his erection slipping into her wet sheath with a joined sigh of completion.

 

It was so new. She believed it would be new for years to come. This feeling of belonging. Of homecoming. They had to rest on union alone—allow themselves a few seconds to grow used to heaven before moving to the sights.

 

“Love lookin’ at you,” Spike said after a minute, catching his nonexistent breath as he began to thrust. Slow, leisurely—so different than what she would have expected of him. Though for everything they had shared the night before and the occasional flash of feral behind his eyes, there was no doubt in her mind that he liked it rough just as much as she relished this. “You’re so lovely.” He drew her as close as possible, eliciting a sharp moan at the angle he struck. Her breasts flattened against his chest, his face buried in her hair. The notion itself sent her on a deepened spiral of self-discovery. She was not accustomed to being cherished. “I can’t believe I’m wakin’ up next to you.”

 

Buffy pulled back a bit at that, breath ragged. Her hands steadied at his shoulders; his own at her hips, pulling her with him on every plunge. “You thought I’d…leave?”

 

“Not…so much…that,” he replied, peppering kisses across her chin before seizing her mouth. “Jus’ can’t…” He drew them to a standstill and smiled lovingly into her eyes. “You’re here. You’re really here. God, I couldn’t sleep last night for the…thought…” Spike released a deep breath and pulled her closer as he began moving again. “The thought that…’d dreamt it all. Every…luscious…moment.” He kissed her again and rolled them over until she was beneath him, her gasp filling his mouth. His thrusts grew deeper as his body overtook his mind. The sight of the blonde beneath him, passion-filled gaze thrown back at him, was enough to make any form of sense disappear. “’S why I couldn’t sleep,” he continued, licking at her throat. “Why I kept wakin’ you, sweetheart. ’F it wasn’ real, I wanted it to last.”

 

Buffy’s head flew back and her nails dug deeper into his forearms. “Woke you once,” she panted.

 

“Yeh. Knew it was real then.” He brushed a kiss across her temple and smiled. Then reached a hand between them to fondle her clit, sending her over the edge with effortless ease. His smile turned into a smirk at her heady wail of his name, and despite her fluster, she lacked the will to call him on it.

 

That smirk was just as much a part of him as anything else she had come to love. And either way, she got her own back the next second as his thrusts turned frantic and he spilled himself inside her, her name a prayer on his lips.

 

It took a minute to realize that he had burst into game face—the phase of yellow coloring his pupils where the ocean usually resided. She remembered Angel being ashamed of his demon-self, hiding whenever she tried to touch him, and was moved beyond reason when Spike did not shy from her. His eyes were heavy and apologetic for his lack of control, but he leaned into her all the same when her hands came up to caress his face. To explore the contours given to him by nature. This vision of everything she was supposed to hate. Supposed to kill.

 

He released a ragged breath when she leaned up to kiss his forehead, his chest rumbling against hers in a purr of contentment. As though her silent acceptance of what he was meant more than the intimacy of physical connection. And that touched her almost as much as his admission of love the night before.

 

The same admission that had her heart pounding the minute she realized that had been real as well.

 

Spike sensed that, of course. Sensed her sudden tension, and tilted his head with concern. “Buffy?”

 

The Slayer pursed her lips and smiled. As quickly as it was born, her apprehension melted into jubilation. A song set in her heart, her eyes glazed with shades of deepened affection. It was the first time she had ever felt loved. The first time the word took on a meaning deeper than merely a word, and blossomed within her a sense of belonging that her past relationships had lacked. Angel had loved her, she knew, but he had also turned evil the night he made his confession. And despite all the want of love that the following year brought, she had never felt it. She had known it was there, but never felt it. Never truly felt it. His love for her had acted as a burden—and despite all the comfort he provided, his eyes never allowed her to forget the price of their relationship.

 

The torment that had lived in Angel’s eyes was nowhere near Spike’s. And she felt so damnably guilty of lying beneath him, comparing him to Angel with him still semi-hard inside her that she had to tear her gaze away before she betrayed herself.

 

That didn’t do much good.

 

“Buffy? Look at me.” She did, and she hated the instant fear she had instilled simply in breaking eye contact. “What’s wrong? Is somethin’ wrong already? God—”

 

“No.” The word was short but to the point, and he relaxed almost immediately. “Nothing’s wrong. I was just…I was thinking.” A sigh rumbled through her lips. “I was just thinking that no one’s ever looked at me the way you do. And…God, I haven’t felt this…I don’t even know the word. This…”

 

Spike’s head dipped to whisper a kiss at the pulse of her throat, game face melting away. “Happy?”

 

There was a worried note tagged onto the end of that. As though he doubted his ability to make her happy. And it suddenly occurred to her out of nowhere at all that he was right. She was happy. For the first time in several years, she was genuinely happy. She was in love and loved in return—the sensation so new that it nearly stole her breath away. And all the rest didn’t matter.

 

Spike’s reservation about being the benefactor of her happiness triggered a spark of fury with those in his past. He had been so mistreated—by her, obviously, but more by those who were supposed to accept him. Angelus, Drusilla; his family. None of them had given him what he deserved. And true, while she was reaping the benefits now, she hated to think that he had been so alone for over a century. Alone even when Drusilla wasn’t tempted to raise her skirt in invitation to whatever master vampire that happened to cross their path. To any Chaos or Fungus Demon that she flaunted in front of him with no shades of remorse. The vampire with her felt deeply. He felt more than any human she knew. And the pain that was there, the pain that made him doubt her now, was something she vowed to erase.

 

“Happy’s not the right word,” she decided a minute later. “More like…ecstatic.”

 

Watching his eyes light up almost reminded her of the Christmas tree she and her mother made a ritual of decorating every year. A bleak nothing, dressed in hope before letting loose its radiation of heat and promise. She tugged him down for a kiss that rapidly lost control.

 

“Mmm,” Spike mused, trying to pull away only to be yanked back down. Several failed attempts passed before he could find it within himself to deprive his lips of hers. “Sweetheart, ‘s much as I’d love to stay in bed all day shaggin’ you sideways, your tummy’s growlin’ at me. Think we better head over before the Scoobs leave nothin’ for us to raid.”

 

Buffy broke away with a pout. “You wanna go to breakfast? That means getting ready.”

 

“An’ here you were yellin’ at me ‘bout takin’ holidays jus’ two days ago.”

 

“Giles’ll call if he finds anything out. Want more smoochies.”

 

“Startin’ to sound like Drunk Buffy.” He grinned wickedly and kissed her all the same. She utilized her advantage and clenched her thighs, earning a long-winded groan and the blissful sensation of his full hardness stretching her walls. “God,” he gasped, pulling away. “An’ here I was tryin’ to be a good boy. You have any idea what it takes to resist you?”

 

“Do you?”

 

He shook his head quickly as he started to move. “Was lookin’ for pointers.”

 

Buffy’s eyes went wide, but she lifted her hips to recapture him. There was absolutely nothing more perfect than this. “You wanna be able to resist me?”

 

“Fuck no. Jus’ keep doin’ that.”

 

“Doing what?”

 

“Whatever it is you’re happenin’ to be doin’. I love everythin’ you do.” His lips danced down her throat. “You feel so bloody good. Don’ know how I managed without this.”

 

“This?”

 

“You.”

 

An indeterminable amount of time later, and they had most definitely missed breakfast. Lying side-by-side in bed to avoid temptation; staring blandly at the ceiling. Waiting for energy to return without any real want of it.

 

“Your tummy’s still growlin’.”

 

“Giles is gonna kill me.”

 

“Said yourself he’d call ‘f the world was endin’.”

 

“Yeah. I should be there. Granted, I’d be doing nothing but wasting space because books and Buffy? Unmixy things. I’d just get in the way, but hey, at least I’d feel productive.” She expelled a deep breath, tried to sit up, and fell flat on her back the next second. “Ah, damn. I’ll just tell him I couldn’t get my legs to work.”

 

Spike rumbled a chuckle. “Then I’d be vamp dust.”

 

“Over my dead and worn out body.”

 

“Wore you out, huh?”

 

“Let’s just say that I’m beginning to understand why Anya talks about orgasms all the time.”

 

He chuckled again and turned on his side to look at her, breaking their silent rule but without penalty. There was something about this—just this—that was just as precious as anything else. She loved being able to talk to him. It added intimacy that she had not thought to exist. The friendship alongside the heat and desire. It was more than she had ever thought to seek; she could only bask in the joy that it had found her before she had the opportunity to miss it.

 

The entire morning was almost a dream that she had feared would never come true. Lying in bed with the man she loved after her first non-one-night stand. It felt incredible. He had awoken beside her, holding her in her own wake.

 

“Thank you,” she murmured softly before her brain could stop the words from escaping.

 

“For what, sweetling?”

 

A sigh trembled through her. Her gratitude sounded corny in her head, but no less true. Everything tied together nicely. For everything else—the potential apocalypse on the loom, the mixed messages they had spent the past couple days sending each other, this was perfection. What she wanted. What she had always wanted. “For making everything so wonderful.”

 

Spike grinned and nuzzled her delicately. “I do my best.”

 

“You succeed with flying colors. I’d almost convinced myself that I was hexed by something awful and all men would bolt as soon as they woke with me after…well…”

 

His face fell slightly. “’m sorry ‘bout that,” he said, continuing when she tossed him a confused glance. “’Bout what I said…before. When we were fightin’ over the Gem of Amara? Remember?” It took a second, but she did. Did and well. Her cheeks flooded with shame and she started to look down before his gentle hands coaxed her chin back up. “No, baby, don’ do that. I was wrong. God, how I was wrong. Don’ even think I…” He shook his head, disgusted with himself. “Don’ know how in the name of everythin’ you allowed me to get this close with everythin’ I’ve done to you.”

 

It took a minute, but she managed to shrug it off. With whatever their past brought, it was just that: in the past. They had a future to think of, and wouldn’t get very far if they spent all their time discussing what wrongs they had committed against each other when it was natural to do so. “Dunno,” she replied. “I’m just glad I did.”

 

“Understatement of the year, pet.” Spike smiled softly. “Can’t understand how even the thickest wanker’d kick you out for eatin’ crackers in bed, much less jus’…I don’ get it.”

 

“Well, one turned evil. The other…turned evil.”

 

“Maybe that’s it. Your secret. Gotta be evil already.” A wicked grin tickled his lips, and he winked when she gave him a look that was neither amused nor annoyed. “Or maybe you gotta be smarter than a rock an’ realize that only a complete fool would wake up an’ walk away from the greatest gift of his life.” He ducked his head shyly at the adoration and awe that poured out of her eyes. “Doesn’ matter anyway. ‘m never lettin’ you go, so you’ll never get to try out that li’l theory.”

 

“No?”

 

“’d tear the sod’s arms off before he got to firs’ base.”

 

Buffy grinned. “Maybe the secret is being with you.”

 

“That’s it, luv. That’s the kicker. Look no further.” He leaned in and kissed her, then chuckled lightly as her stomach released another long, mournful growl. “Okay, that’s it. We’re gettin’ you fed.”

 

“Ugh. That requires getting up.”

 

“I think you’ll find most things require gettin’ up.”

 

“I knew there was a reason I hated most things.” She sat up with a wry, exaggerated groan that earned a stern look and a pair of dancing blue eyes. “Where we going?”

 

Spike stopped and stared at her for a long minute. “To the kitchen?”

 

“Not—”

 

“Out? Don’t be barmy. Not till Ripper calls.”

 

“What if he doesn’t call?”

 

There was nothing but an answering grin at the possibilities. Buffy rolled her eyes. “I know I don’t wanna go anywhere, but we can’t just lie in bed all day. People will start to think we’re dead.”

 

He shrugged. “Am dead. What’s the problem?”

 

“Spike…”

 

He shook his head with a short laugh. “We’ll head over this afternoon, okay? In the meantime…” It took a few seconds, but he located his discarded shirt and tossed it to her with a devious smirk. “Informal dress is definitely not optional.”

 

“You’re gonna make breakfast naked?”

 

“Well no, kitten, I was gonna slide into my trousers. Unless you—”

 

Buffy shook her head. For some reason, the idea of Spike flipping a flapjack wearing nothing but a chef’s hat—though they possessed no chef’s hat—was oddly arousing. And despite all her protests, she was hungry for something other than sex. “No. No. Pants equal good.”

 

Spike cocked a cool brow; countenance the picture of male pride. All the same, he reached for his slacks. “Avoidin’ temptation?”

 

“Just call me Eve. Move into the kitchen!”

 

“Yes ma’am.” And he was gone. A quick kiss to her lips, and he practically sprinted down the hallway, looking for all the world a proverbial heartbeat from bursting into song.

 

That thought stuck. Buffy had never seen him so happy. She had never seen him happy. Not like this. Not discounting drunken wiles on how to win back psycho ex-girlfriends and Will Be Done spells that sparked more than anyone could have foreseen. No. Spike was happy. Very happy. And he was happy because of her.

 

That was one honor she would not take lightly.

 

It took a few minutes to convince her legs that moving was a good thing. Besides, lying in bed when Spike was in the other room wasn’t nearly as fun as lying with him next to her. She padded down the hallway, stopped to wash in the lavatory, then assumed a position against the doorframe to watch her vampire at work.

 

The picture he presented warmed her heart. Spike was practically dancing between cabinets, cracking eggs into bowls, whisking them as though he lived for nothing else, and whistling cheerfully all the while. He dropped slides of butter into the frying pan heating on the stove, whipped the pancake mix to gooey goodness and took a minute for himself to approach her with a delectable smile and kissed her boneless before returning to his work.

 

“You look too delicious in my shirt,” he decided matter-of-factly, avoiding her eyes or any other body parts that might distract him from breakfast. “Sorry. M’bad. Shoulda known puttin’ a thoroughly bedded goddess in my clothin’ wouldn’t get me very far. Go put somethin’ else on.”

 

Buffy laughed shortly and quirked a brow. The conversational air about him made her skin tingle. He acted casual, if not a little aloof. “Bossy much?”

 

“I’m gonna ravish you over this counter in two minutes ‘f you don’t.”

 

“Gee. And I thought you were supposed to make me want to change.”

 

Spike scowled. “You’re gonna get it, li’l lady.”

 

“Maybe after breakfast. Hungry.” It was impossible—improbable. The morning itself had already taken on too much of a fairytale setting for her to get any more of it. But he was naked from the waist up, and cooking. Yeah. Definitely a turn-on. If they kept going like this, she would be too sore to stand, much less fight anything.

 

There was that lingering fear that attached itself to whatever apocalypse the Powers That Be sent her way. The knowledge that despite her expertise in the field, there was every possibility that she could be bested. After all, Slayer. Not exactly one for the long term planning. The likelihood of her dying old in bed wasn’t exactly high on the totem pole of possibilities. Things had been quiet for far too long. And she knew that meant trouble was on a fast-track collision course with her fantasies of a long, dreamlike future with the vampire at the counter. The buruburus? Faith? The book? It was all coming to full circle. She dreaded the next phone call from Giles. The call that would shatter this bliss for the crueler reality. If this was all they were going to have, she wanted to savor it. Every minute.

 

She wanted more to have an axe in her hand and a direction to throw it in. Being a sitting duck made her nervous. And though they hadn’t discussed it, if they were dealing with Japanese demons that had never before touched American soil, there was every reason to believe that other non-indigenous creatures were out there lurking. Creatures that were undocumented in this hemisphere. A whole world of big bad uglies right at her doorstep.

 

So yeah. Without knowing what to fight or where—how to destroy it before power mounted and reached clauses that were nearly unsurpassable, she wanted to spend every waking moment with Spike. Exploring this, hoping it wasn’t the end as well as the beginning.

 

A bottomless breath shuddered through her and she crossed the kitchen, wrapping her arms around his waist and pressing herself into his back. Her lips danced across his skin, tiny shudders claiming her own. He went rigid for a minute, dropping his cooking utensils to the countertop. When she pulled back with a trembling sigh and pressed her cheek to his back, his hands finding hers across his middle, he exhaled deeply and laced their fingers together. The mood change, then, was not so thoroughly ambiguous. She loved it that she did not have to explain herself to him on every turn.

 

“It’ll be all right, sweetheart,” he vowed softly. The wealth of insight, unaided, was nearly startling. Reading her vibe was one thing—reading her mind was an entirely different issue. Different yet not wholly surprising. He was so deeply embedded in her that any link of separation could be felt for miles. “We came this far. Not gonna let you go without a fight.”

 

Buffy smiled a watery smile into his skin, brushing a kiss over the nape of his neck. “You can’t promise that,” she said, for all accounts logical. “The Powers have a way of doing whatever they want whenever they want.”

 

“Well, then they’re gonna be disappointed ‘f they think they can take you away from me.” Spike twisted in her embrace, quickly reaching over to flick off the switch on the stove. “’m not gonna let you go, baby,” he murmured huskily, eyes suddenly level with hers. Stealing breath from her lungs for how openly he expressed his emotions. Without lapse. Without doubt. Just looking at her and letting her know the full of what he felt, unhindered. “Not without one hell of a fight. They want you? They’re gettin’ me, too. I’ll be right there wherever you are. Whatever nasty’s comin’ll have to get through me to get to you.” A shuddering sigh pressed against his lips, and he kissed her tenderly. And as was rapidly becoming custom with their kisses, the world tumbled away and he lost control; turned to prop her on top of the counter, her legs abound his waist.

 

“You smell delicious,” he breathed into her hair. “Know what I want for breakfast.”

 

“Isn’t that what you’re supposed to be making?”

 

Spike smiled and nuzzled her throat, tongue darting out to taste her. The smells she emanated were driving him wild. Last night’s taste was not enough. A million mornings like this wouldn’t be enough. “Want me to stop?”

 

“Well, I am hungry—” She grumbled and pulled him back to her when he tried to move away and tend to her uncooked feast. Her arms coiled around his throat, drawing his mouth to hers in a hungry kiss. He was clutching at her as though letting go would mean never regaining this, the hardness confined in his jeans rubbing her needy mound to the point of madness.

 

She didn’t know how she could want him again so soon. Another mindless comparison drawn from her stunning lack of prior experience. She had enjoyed one admittedly nice but similarly uncomfortable night with Angel. But at that, they had been sodden with rainwater and thoroughly exhausted when it was over. She didn’t want to think that he would have cheated her out of this had his soul stayed in place. Then again, had his soul remained, she would not be here with the man her body craved. The man that stirred emotions within her deeper than any felt before. Whisking whispers of former love away for the infiltration of how it was truly meant to feel.

 

Buffy never thought the day would come when she was glad for the curse that kept her and her former love apart. For the feel of Spike against her, she would trade this for nothing.

 

She heard him chuckle and pull back to meet her eyes. “You’ve been doin’ that all mornin’,” Spike said, amused but likewise on guard. She hated that. Hated how he felt he needed to protect his emotions around her. As though at any turn, she would toss him aside, thank him for the ride, and return to the boring shell of a life she had lived before him.

 

Well, as boring as a Slayer’s could be.

 

“Doing what?”

 

“Driftin’ off.” He lowered his mouth to her throat and excited harsh little gasps with his teeth and tongue. “Better watch it, luv. A bloke’ll think he’s borin’ you.”

 

“No. God, no.” Buffy shook her head and laughed a little. “I’m sorry. I’m not really one for being Deep Thought Girl, but…okay, here it goes.” She propped herself back, ever aware of their telling position. Wearing nothing but his t-shirt, his hands gently rubbing her skin wherever it wasn’t covered and edging dangerously closer to her quim on every tour. The sweeps he made of her inner thigh had her body quivering in arousal. He stopped teasing her at last, fingers anchored into her hips and thumbs gently rubbing the slick, tender flesh just inches away from where she craved his touch with a vengeance.

 

She was determined to get this out, though. Heedless of how he seemingly wanted her to talk with him seriously and come at the same time.

 

There was a flicker, though, behind his eyes. And it occurred to her that his insecurity was speaking out again. He feared what she was going to say, even if he needed to hear it.

 

Well, hell. If it killed her, she was going to make damn sure he knew that he was the one she wanted, for now and forever. However long forever between them might be.

 

“Spike,” she said softly, cupping his face. “This is still real to me.”

 

There was a still moment as he studied her, somewhat awed at her perception. A flash of denial crossed his features but died almost instantly. He warmed to her like nothing before. “Right,” he said. “Right. Guess I better start gettin’ used to that.”

 

“Yeah, you better. ‘Cause the reason I keep being all drifty is…I just keep thinking about how I’ve never felt…” She stopped, frowned a bit, and rolled her eyes. “I’m beginning to sound like every soap my mom watches religiously.”

 

“Don’ rip on soaps,” he scolded. “Passions is a bloody brilliant show.”

 

“You both are insane.”

 

“That’s beside the point.” Spike grinned, his touch edging upward. “I believe you were sayin’ somethin’ about never havin’ felt this way before.” A pause as soon as the words escaped his lips, his eyes widening fearfully. “At leas’, that’s what I thought you were—”

 

Buffy’s hand found his mouth, effectively shushing him and all his illogical worries. “Yes,” she said. “I’ve never felt like this. Ever. Not with anyone. And I…this is the first morning after I’ve had, you know.”

 

“We talked ‘bout this already, sweets.”

 

“Yeah. But…it’s…” With a groan of defeat, her head collapsed wearily on his shoulder. “I suck at this.”

 

Spike whispered a kiss at her throat. “No, pet. You’re sayin’ everythin’ jus’ fine.” His hips thrust forward. “You wanna let me go make you breakfast?”

 

She shook her head, hands falling to his jeans again. “It can wait.”

 

“Buffy—”

 

“We have all morning.”

 

“Not much mornin’ left, sweetheart.”

 

“Drat.” Her mouth attacked his hungrily as her clumsy fingers finally succeeded in freeing his erection, welcoming him into her grasp. The moan he rumbled into her sent sparks of fire across her skin and he helped her shove his trousers to mid-thigh.

 

The vampire dropped a hand to her center, massaging her gently. His t-shirt drew up around her hips to allow him full exploration. The feral mewls he captured with his mouth just pushed him onward. He took to her slowly, rubbing the texture of her moist folds between eager digits, sliding his skin into her to test her readiness and starting at the run of heated ambrosia that drenched him at the slightest touch. “God,” he gasped into her mouth. “How do you stay so wet?”

 

“How do you stay so hard?” she countered, running her thumb over his leaking head, her other hand capturing the weight of his sac and giving him a good squeeze.

 

“Oh bloody fuck.” And before she knew what was happening, he had sunk himself inside her, his hands clenching at her shoulders. Buffy threw her head back and her jaw dropped. She had never made love anywhere but a nice warm bed, and while she was a traditionalist at heart, the angle he struck sent small waves of burning pleasure to her core. He must have felt it, too—she thought he must, for the breath he took was ragged, and his eyes were closed piously. “Never knew anythin’ could feel this good,” he rasped.

 

A smile tickled her mouth and she kissed his temple, releasing a heady moan as he began to move at a slow, agonizing tempo. The slide of his flesh from hers was sweet torment that she would never forfeit. “Now I know you’re exaggerating.”

 

He shook his head feverishly, catching her lips in a fit of ardor. “Don’ exaggerate,” he gasped. “You’re perfect. So bloody perfect.” His hands dropped to the hem of her shirt and slid inside, up until he was massaging her breasts. “Never felt anythin’ like this. Never.”

 

“Spike—”

 

“Fuckin’ perfect.” He kissed her eagerly. “Never givin’ you up, Buffy. Never. You hear me?” Without warning, his thrusts gained momentum, delving into her urgency. Fingers kneading her nipples, mouth hot and hungry at her neck. She was clutching at his shoulders with desperation she had not known she possessed. “Drive me outta mind. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck.”

 

“Oh God.”

 

“My golden goddess.” His teeth tugged at her ear. “My own Aphrodite.”

 

The room was heavy with gasps and whimpers. Buffy’s head landed against the cupboard, her eyes fighting to stay open. She wanted to look at him. Wanted to see the wealth of emotion pouring through his own rich pupils and allow that to shove her over the edge as much as the other. Her thighs clenched around him, her nails digging into his skin.

 

“So tight. So fucking tight.”

 

“Spike!”

“An’ hot. You’re so hot. An inferno. God, you’re killin’ me.” His was cadencing against her body, striking her at levels she didn’t know existed. “Not gonna last.” And then his hands abandoned her breasts, one snaking around her middle to tug her closer, the other sliding to her center. The feral in his eyes sparked with yellow, and for the intensity on his face, she knew he was wrestling with his demon for dominance. The man in him fighting the darkness to keep her entirely for himself.

 

Buffy kissed him, sliding her tongue into his mouth. He moaned against her and tightened his grip on her body, pulling her as close as humanly possible. For everything else, the feel of him inside, the adoration sweeping his embrace, it was the most blissful sensation of her life.

 

Though, with him, she had been having quite a few of those.

 

“Spike,” she gasped, pulling away and resting her forehead against his. “Tell me.”

 

He was rubbing her clit roughly, sliding a finger into her, as though it wasn’t already enough. “Whassat?”

 

“Uhhh…tell me again. Please.”

 

He slowed a minute and looked at her quizzically before understanding overwhelmed him. And a smile touched his face, the tenderness in his eyes taking the world away. “I love you, Buffy,” he gasped, sweeping her mouth into a fierce kiss. “God, I love you so much. So much.”

 

The Slayer smiled at him, panting through her esteem, then braced herself against his shoulder and overwhelmed him with her climax. And then they were falling together. Falling through an abyss of paradoxical delights, bodies rocking with ageless rhythm in a connection that no other could outmatch.

 

Spike buried his face in her throat. “God,” he said. “We’re gonna kill each other.”

 

“Mmm,” she hummed. “Rather you kill me with lots of sex than the big scary.”

 

“Right, so when the world starts endin’, we start shaggin’?”

 

A giggle tickled her lips and she kissed him. “That would definitely be the best apocalypse I’d ever been to.”

 

He stared at her for a minute but laughed in his turn. Buffy hugged herself to him and he lifted her off the counter, her legs still abound his waist as they slid lazily to the floor.

 

“We’re never gonna get you fed,” Spike observed after a minute. The air smelled heavy of their combined essence and was already doing a number to restore his passion.

 

Buffy didn’t seem to mind, though. Resting leisurely with her head at his shoulder, her arms curled under his. “New rule,” she said. “When we eat, we wear clothes.”

 

“Well…” He pulled away slightly to dance into her eyes. “Depends on what we’re eatin’ luv.” His brows wiggled and she flushed thoroughly, buried her face in his welcoming skin and tightening her arms around him.

 

It would have been quite simple to forget that the world and all its badness existed at all had Xander not pounded on the front door the next minute. Buffy jumped; Spike mewled at her jump, and her hand flew over his mouth in warning.

 

The morning was going too good. This was their wake-up call. If her friend decided to walk in without a formal invitation, he would receive a rude awakening. The dining area was connected to the kitchen, and though they were not within direct view, the air smelled of sex and she was not about to lift herself from Spike’s lap just because she was afraid of being caught.

 

“Buffy?” he called through the door. “Buffy? Spike? You in there?”

 

Buffy slowly lowered her hand from her lover’s lips, her eyes never wavering from his.

 

“Guys?” A few more agonizingly long seconds. “Okay, well…Will, Sam, Josh, Ahn—pretty much all of us are headed over to the Eola for more fun researchage. Giles wants you to do a sweep tonight, then we’re having a meeting and oh my god, why am I talking to a door? Gahh…” There was a hefty retreat, another pause, then he was back. “Are you sure you’re not in there?”

 

A low growl reverberated through Spike’s throat.

 

“Okay, well…if you are in there, then you know what to do. If you’re not, I just wasted three minutes of my life that I will never get back.”

 

On second retreat, he was gone for good. Buffy’s shoulders sagged in relief, her head finding Spike’s chest. They were silent for a few minutes; just sat in an odd embrace on the kitchen floor. His arms were still around her, his cheek resting on her crown. A moment of pure tranquility.

 

She knew what he was thinking without needing instructions. She was thinking the same. “I’m going to tell them,” she whispered.

 

Another beat. “Huh’s that?”

 

“I’m going to tell them…about us. I just didn’t want Xander to find out that way. You get that, right?” She pulled back slightly to gauge the emotions in his eyes. “I want them to know. This isn’t gonna be an ‘I’m ashamed’ thing. We’re together. For as much or little time as we have left, we’re together…as long as that’s what you want.”

 

Spike was still for another long minute, then his face lit up with a gorgeous smile and he crushed her to him. “’Course it’s what I want. We’re together,” he said. “Never lettin’ you go.”

 

That revelation was sealed by a timely groan of her stomach. They broke apart on the same note, glanced down, and chuckled quietly together.

 

“Well, maybe to make breakfast.”

 

She smirked at him. “That’s what you said the last time.”

 

“Well, seems as I recall, I got ambushed by a cute li’l—”

 

“Ambushed?!”

 

“—who can’t get enough of me an’—”

 

“Oh, that’s it. You’re so gonna get it.”

 

He nodded. “Yep. That’s pretty much how it started.” He grinned off the look on her face and stood, cock slipping out of her warmth with a shared moan of loss. “All right, kitten,” he said, kissing her neck. “You better toddle off so I can make your food before you die of starvation. ‘Sides…” He ran his tongue over his teeth and reveled in the flush it brought to her skin. “You’re gonna need your strength.”

 

Buffy sniggered but turned to do as she was told. She was also going to get him a shirt to cover up his yummy chest and keep her from further distraction.

 

Spike was giving her perfection. Everything right now was so perfect. She didn’t remember a time when she had been happier. When everything felt so right. When life was a bell ringing especially for her.

 

She was happy. She, Buffy Summers, was happy.

 

And the very fact that she was happy frightened her beyond reproach. Beyond all her joy, there was one noble truth. With happiness came the burden that there was that much more to lose. And Slayers were not meant to be happy. She was not meant to be happy.

 

That was it then. Her curse.

 

Something terrible was going to happen.

 

 

Chapter Thirty-One

 

 

“What are you getting him?”

 

“Josh?”

 

“Yeah. I am seriously low on ideas, here.”

 

Donna snickered and rolled her eyes and reached for the snow-globe Willow was studying with absent infatuation and placed it back on the display table. “Josh doesn’t expect anything,” she assured her. “It’s not like you two go way back.”

 

“W-well, I’m gonna feel bad if I get everyone something and leave Josh out.”

 

The blonde domed a brow. “You’re getting Toby something?”

 

Willow shrugged helplessly and looked down in embarrassment. “Sam thought it’d be funny to get him another bouncy ball. Something about how he never has enough of those.” At the mention of her dark-haired sweetie, her eyes warmed and her cheeks flushed. Then she stopped in a panic, disposition forgotten immediately. “Oh God. Sam! What do I get Sam? The first Christmas and I don’t know what to get my…well, I don’t know if he’s a boyfriend or not, but he’s definitely a boy and a friend…well, more a man and a friend, but I don’t think you should use the term manfriend unless you wanna get some serious looks of the bad kind and oh GOD, I’m a horrible person. I don’t know what to get him for Christmas!”

 

The other woman merely smiled. “You’ll find something for him. Really, Sam? Not the hardest guy to please.”

 

“B-but if I get him just anything, he’ll think I don’t care. It’ll be like, ‘Oh, Willow got me a tie. How—blah!’ And then if I get him something really, you know, personal he’ll be all, ‘Sheesh! I’ve only known you for a week and a half!’”

 

“Willow, I promise you, the last thing he’ll think you are is pushy. Or clingy. Trust me. I know him.”

 

“But…I…” She shook her head. “This is hopeless.”

 

“Not even. Look. Sam’s probably going through the same thing you are. You know?” She smiled. “I haven’t seen him like this in…well, I’ve never seen him like this. Thought he’d carried a torch for Mallory for a while, but he was never so open about it.” A shrug at that. “She played games with him. You don’t. And don’t get me wrong; I love Leo, and I think his daughter’s a gem…but you seem more like Sam’s type.”

 

Willow breathed a deep sigh and picked up the snow-globe once again. “Yeah. I…you really think I’m more his type?”

 

“Absolutely.”

 

“Do I really need to remind you how long you’ve known me?”

 

Donna frowned and waved a dismissive hand. “Oh, pooh. I have an excellent sense when it comes to this stuff.”

 

The redhead arched a brow but kept her mouth shut. Obviously, her shopping companion couldn’t be on top of the vibe flow if she had yet to sense the evident sparkage between her and her boss.

 

“So what are you getting him?” she asked a minute later.

 

“Who?”

 

“Josh.”

 

Donna’s brow furrowed in thought, then she shrugged and began sorting through the four-way of shirts on the display near the wrap-desk. “Probably a tie.”

 

“A tie?”

 

“Some of the more jaded citizens might find ties to be bland and monotonous,” the blonde noted with a tone she usually reserved for Josh. “I’ll have you know that it’s a classic gift.”

 

Willow made a face. After years of Christmas shopping with Xander when he was piling up items for the assorted members of his crazy family, she had long established ties as being the sort of gift given to men when there was none other to give. “Whatever you say.” She hesitated a minute, glanced back to the display counter and retrieved the snow-globe Donna had confiscated. “I’m going to get Josh this. I-it’s not much, but at least he’ll know I wasn’t leaving him out.” She frowned off the look on the blonde’s face. “What? What? Yeah, it’s my first year Christmas shopping ‘cause—well—Jewish, but I’m making an exception this year. So cut the new girl some slack.”

 

“Hon, he’s Jewish, too. I guarantee he’s not agonizing over your Christmas present.” Willow shrugged and handed the salesperson the snow-globe anyway, not catching the small smile that quirked Donna’s lips. “My gift, on the other hand,” she continued, “is an entirely different matter.”

 

“He gets you Christmas presents?” the redhead asked as she digged through her purse and fished out a ten.

 

The woman at the wrap-desk smiled at them as they collected what few purchases they had made thus far and exited to the bulk of the Natchez Mall. The same mall that was nearly deserted save a few wandering patrons, and being so close to the most celebrated holiday of the year, the effect was more than creepy. Perhaps the citizens of the small town had finally caught wind of what was happening; there was simply no talk of it.

 

The redhead had seen enough, though, to refrain from surprise. And while she felt a nag of guilt for having bailed on the group research party, it was more than a relief to get away. Away where the demons outside could not reach her. There was little to be done today that had not been done yesterday or the day before. They were on a fast track to nowhere and the big would hit before they knew what it was or exactly what the repercussions would be.

 

And despite that, being with the others and pouring herself out over a stack of ancient text wouldn’t do any good. Not from where she was sitting. Besides, if Giles needed her, he would phone Donna’s cell and they would come running.

 

In the meantime, speed Christmas shopping for a bunch of people she hardly knew was proving to be the most relaxing activity she had partaken in weeks.

 

Donna was still talking about the bizarre relationship she and Josh had established in honoring their cultural differences when it came to holiday giving and receiving. “It’s more like seasonally advantageous tokens of his appreciation through thoughtful yet monetarily conservative gifts.” She shrugged. “I usually give him a list of which he is more than encouraged to choose several items to properly demonstrate said appreciation. If we get out of here, I want to learn how to ski.”

 

“Ski?”

 

The blonde nodded decisively. “Yes. I want to learn how to ski. So I gave Josh a list this morning of potential ski-related gift ideas that he might consider for me.”

 

“Yes, because that’s monetarily conservative.”

 

“We might die, so I decided money wouldn’t be an obstacle this year.”

 

“That’s very smart.” Willow grinned. “You really think he’s going to go out right now and buy you skiing equipment?”

 

Donna’s brows arched skeptically. “No. It’s Josh. Are you kidding me?” She smirked at the answering laugh that rang through the air; the girls exchanged a devious look that was so natural, it felt like they had been doing this for years. Known each other for years. “So,” she said a minute later. “What are you getting Buffy and Spike?”

 

There was a hefty pause at that as the redhead considered her answer. The fact that any gift for Buffy would automatically involve Spike was still very foreign. She had given up, though. Given up any charade in pretending that her best friend was not involved with another vampire, and that they had likely shut themselves up in their private cottage to spend the day making—erm, having sex.

 

Regardless of how much Spike seemed to care for Buffy; it would be a while before the Witch could safely call it love. Love was sticky business. It broke hearts, inspired tears, and was the root cause of every number one country hit of all time. No one, despite circumstance, could escape the heartache—the angst, the complete desolation of love’s namesake. The very best of men had rendered their ladies nothing but hollow shells. Oz. She didn’t know anyone better than Oz…or hadn’t until this trip. Oz was of the very best of men, and he had broken her heart. He had left her after betraying her, and then sent for his stuff without so much as picking up a phone. And Oz loved her. She knew he loved her. He loved her, and he had left anyway.

 

Spike was not of the very best. He was a vampire. A soulless vampire. Up until a couple weeks ago, he had tried to kill them on a regular basis. And now—suddenly—he and Buffy were snuggly wuggly? That didn’t work. Even if Spike did love Buffy, it would take a long time before Willow would be completely comfortable with the situation.

 

She wouldn’t object, though. She couldn’t. Buffy seemed happy, and despite her noted yet tacit objections, the redhead knew somehow that Spike would sooner walk into sunlight than deliberately harm her friend. More besides, Buffy was likely to get more than an earful from Xander and Giles on the matter. She deserved to have at least one hand of support from someone she had known longer than a week.

 

So, if she was going to do this, she might as well go all the way. Dual presents, his and hers towels, the full shebang. A contemplative frown crossed the redhead’s face. “I don’t know what I’m getting them,” she answered at last. “I hadn’t really thought about it.”

 

“I’m thinking toy store for them,” the blonde replied.

 

Oh God, she didn’t even want to know. The notion was almost appalling— especially from the blonde’s seemingly virtuous mouth. Did Natchez even have any novelty places like that? “T-t-toy store?”

 

“Yeah.” Donna pointed across the hallway. “KB Toys? I’m sure they have some cheap handcuffs or something that would serve as an effective gag gift.

 

A palpable breath of relief tackled the Witch senseless. “Oh. Those kind of toys. Okay. Yeah, sure that’d be good. Funny, even. What do you think? You get one for Spike, I’ll get one for Buffy?”

 

“You thought I meant a different toy shop?”

 

Willow’s cheeks reddened. “I—uhhh. Well, y-you never know w-w-with Spike, s-so I thought y-you might—”

 

There was a rich laugh at that, slightly shrill for the scandal tagged onto implication. “God, no. I’d feel weird buying CJ something like that even as a joke, and I know CJ. I don’t know Buffy well. I just figured they’re in the beginning of their relationship and it’s clear you and your friends aren’t very supportive of it…but I get the feeling that you’re not as likely to be as objectionable as, oh say, Xander.”

 

The redhead sighed. “That obvious?”

 

“Oh yeah. And then some.” A short pause. “So…whaddya think? Handcuffs?”

 

Willow glanced up thoughtfully, then slowly glanced to the conniving blonde, and they passed the motion with a syncopated nod and dual evil grins. “Handcuffs.”

 

The two tore down the corridor of the mall happily, conspiring on a vast assortment of similar gag gifts. The world for all its troubles melted around them. Books and demons forgotten. Just the joy of shopping for loved ones during the holidays while exchanging tales of holidays’ past and trading off family horror stories.

 

It was good. Familiar.

 

And it would be another hour yet before Donna’s cell phone would ring.

 

*~*~*

 

The sun was gone completely; the day caught in that delightful period that was not quite afternoon and not quite evening. It was growing closer and closer to night, and neither Buffy nor Spike had made an attempt to get ready, much less leave the townhouse and face the Scoobies. The hours spent between love making, talking, laughing, and more love making were occupied with desperate excuses listing the many reasons why not going anywhere was most definitely the better game plan.

 

They traded off responsibility and had talked each other out of leaving using a variety of techniques that would have made Buffy blush furiously were it with anyone else. With Spike, everything seemed natural. There was no reason to be ashamed when he looked at her the way he did.

 

Currently, they were stretched on the hide-a-bed, fully clothed for the impending patrol once the sun was completely down and happily ignoring the fact that sunlight had absolutely no chance of harming the vampire now. Spike was spooned at Buffy’s back, one arm draped around her middle, and they were watching CJ Cregg brief the press on CSPAN. It was growing increasingly difficult for her to poo-poo the questions about the shutdown in Natchez and the absence of three crucial members of the President’s Senior Staff, but she was holding the press off admirably. More than once, Buffy enjoyed the cool hum of her boyfriend’s chuckle as he murmured something about how reporters had a special place reserved in Hell.

 

The word struck her out of nowhere. Boyfriend. Spike was a boyfriend. She expected it to frighten her or at least drive her to some reckoning of denial. But no. No. She had already admitted to herself that she was in love with him. She was in love with him, so thinking of him as a boyfriend was not exactly a leap of faith.

 

The longer the day wore, the more apprehensive she became. Spending time with Spike was surreal in a wonderfully dreamlike way. Breaking down the barrier built on preconceived notions so many years ago—discarding what little she hadn’t forever. Half a dozen times, she had caught herself a heartbeat away from blurting her feelings only to bite her tongue.

 

The feeling that something terrible was going to happen would not go away. Despite the perfection of today, her inner Slayer was screaming that it was all too close to shattering. And even more than that, she was terrified of the burden of her love. Her love had destroyed before. Her love had caused the death of Jenny Calendar, had ripped the soul from Angel’s body and sent Sunnydale into one of the darkest periods a hellmouth could withstand. Her love was not a blessing.

 

Perhaps as long as she kept it to herself, it wouldn’t be able to strike. She wanted him to know more than anything. Especially after today and the love they had expressed with their bodies, she wanted him to know. The façade that it wasn’t perfect yet had faltered in less than twenty-four hours. No, she was terrified that admitting it would send whatever catastrophe was somersaulting their way headfirst into terrible capitulation and suffer the effects worse than they could have ever imagined. The bad was still going to happen—there was no doubt of that. But bad could happen without the ending breaking her heart.

 

If she protected Spike from her dangerous confession, she fared a better chance at not losing him.

 

Should she share these fears with the vampire, he would soothe her, of course. Tell her she was sweet for worrying, but nothing would or could force him away from her side. Take her face in his hands and draw her eyes to his, kiss her softly, and hold her in her worry. And she wanted that reassurance more than anything. She wanted it out there where she could fight it. Where she didn’t have to worry.

 

Sam had released the evil with words. Wasn’t it just as possible that her words could signal the evil to destroy them?

 

She would tell him. Loving Spike was the most liberating sensation she had ever experienced. She would tell him when she knew that the Powers That Be wouldn’t take him away in punishment. Until then, she would have to show him. Show him with everything that she was and hope that he could read her for everything she could not say.

 

“She has to be one of the best,” Spike murmured, his slow, sexy voice smashing happily through her reverie.

 

“Huh?”

 

He grinned and brushed a kiss across her temple, hand stroking her belly. “The bird, luv,” he said, indicating the television where CJ had effectively shut down another reporter for asking a question she had more than established her likelihood of answering. “’ve seen your bloody country go through a lot of press secretaries. Caught ‘em every now an’ then jus’ ‘cause it’s so bloody funny. She has to be one of the best.”

 

Buffy smiled and shifted so she could see his eyes. “That’s cute,” she jeered with a smirk. “You stop to watch press briefings.”

 

“Only when there’s somethin’ funny happenin’ in the news.”

 

“Do I wanna know your definition of funny?”

 

A shy smile crossed his face, and she found it adorable. “Prob’ly not, sweetheart.” He cast his gaze upward again, but briefly. “Granted, wasn’ much happenin’ when Curly took the stage not too long ago. That was soddin’ hilarious.”

 

“You mentioned that on the first day.”

 

Spike nodded. “The bird couldn’t make it for whatever reason, so Curly got up there an’ started yammerin’ on about the HUD Secretary callin’ a Republican a racist an’ ended up makin’ a secret plan to fight inflation. God, now that’s quality programmin’. Rupert an’ I were in stitches.”

 

“You watched this with Giles?”

 

He winked at her recklessly. “Like I said, luv, it wasn’ too long ago.” He nudged her back onto her side, teasing her earlobe with his teeth. “We better be goin’ soon, don’ you think?”

 

Buffy couldn’t help it; she grinned and snuggled deeper into his embrace. “Are we playing this game again?”

 

“Wish. Don’ particularly wanna get up. You’re warm an’ comfy.” A sigh fanned her face, his lips dropping to grace her throat with small, soft kisses. “But, an’ I can’t believe ‘m sayin’ this, we should patrol. Get out there, make sure no uglies are testin’ the waters jus’ yet.”

 

“And drop off the sheets at the cleaners before the Millers ask us why they’re drenched in syrup?”

 

Spike smirked and tickled her side, eyes brightening when her musical laughter touched the air. “An’ miss the look on your face when you explain how it got to the bedroom in the firs’ place? Don’ think so, sweetheart.”

 

“My face? You’re the one who—”

 

“Wound up drenched in maple goodness?”

 

A pout crossed her lips. “It made you taste yummy.”

 

Spike frowned, a mock-wounded expression settling upon his face. “Right,” he grumbled good-naturedly. “Now I’m guessin’ I need syrup to be yummy, ‘s that it?”

 

“Oh, don’t give me that look. I wasn’t the only one who got carried away with syrupy-fun.” Her nose wrinkled. “I think my stomach’s still sticky.”

 

“Really, pet?”

 

She knew that tone well now; it inspired shivers of anticipation down her spine and punched the squeal that sounded through the air when he flipped her over and attacked her mouth with his. All threats of leaving abruptly vanished with the softness of his lips, the sensual stroke of his tongue against hers. He formed words against her every time he kissed her. Poured himself into describing without sound how much he loved her, loved this. Words without sound—just action.

 

Buffy’s hands curled around his shoulders. She didn’t know if he could read her affections half as well, if at all. If he could tell that she loved him simply by sharing a kiss. If her kiss answered his silent vows. Answered his words with words of her own. If the depth of her feeling could be reached.

 

Before she knew what was happening, Spike had whipped her shirt over her head and lowered his attentions to her stomach. “Mmmm,” he hummed into her skin. “Yeh, pet. A li’l sticky. But nothin’ like…”

 

He tugged on the waistband of her pants.

 

Buffy’s eyes widened. “Spike, no. We can’t. We have to be—”

 

A hand, heedless of her half-hearted protests, delved inside and cupped her warmth. “Christ,” he gasped, wrestling a hungry kiss from her lips. “You drive me absolutely outta my mind, you know? Never gonna get enough of you, baby. God, not even ‘f…jus’ never.”

 

“Spike—”

 

He bunched her panties to the side to tease her wetness for a few delicious seconds, then abruptly withdrew and brought his hand to his own mouth to lick away the dew shimmering on his skin. “I know,” he replied, smiling at her expression. “We need to go. Let the ranks know we’re still in, give the cemetery another look-see, then come back an’ let me make love to you till the sun comes up.”

 

The Slayer released a trembling sigh. “So…” she said slowly. “You decided to get me hot and bothered now?”

 

He grinned wickedly.

 

“Spike!”

 

“Screamin’ my name a li’l prematurely, luv.”

 

“Dammit, you suck!”

 

“Very well, I might add. Or do you need another demonstration?”

 

Buffy whined petulantly. “I hate you.”

 

“Do not.”

 

Well, that one she couldn’t argue with. Not if she wanted to. She was too in love with him to hate him, no matter how aggravating he was. “So?”

 

“So what, baby?”

 

She coyly cocked her head to the side, flashing a small, shy grin. “Think we have time for a quickie?”

 

The emotion that stormed his eyes almost did more to bring her under than anything else. God, but she wasn’t used to being looked at like that. Like something precious. Like anything more than a Slayer. It was simply like that with Spike. With every glance, every kiss, every touch, he conveyed how much he loved her. Conveyed in such strong, fortuitous tides that it shocked her that she hadn’t seen it before. That it took his words to summon everything to the surface.

 

“God, you’re amazin’,” he gasped ardently, commanding her lips in another desperate kiss. “I love you so much.”

 

Oh yeah. She loved the words. She could lose herself in them as easily as she did his caresses and the feel of his lips against hers. His body pressing hers into the makeshift mattress, his denim-clad erection rubbing her through layers of clothing. Arousing her to levels she hadn’t believed to be real.

 

“Spike…”

 

It would have been so easy to lose herself in his arms all over again. To cast aside time for the sake of his body against hers. To shove priorities for tomorrow, to face the consequences of today when she was certain of this. When she knew that whatever happened would be tempered with the promised time of a day’s trip to paradise. It would have been so easy. So easy.

 

And that was the problem. Nothing was ever easy. Ever.

 

It took the shrill of the phone to stop them from rising to heaven all over again.

 

*~*~*

 

Three beepers had sounded in unison, jarring everyone into a second wake. It took less than two minutes to locate a phone.

 

“It’s Giles,” Sam told the others, cell pressed to his ear. They were seated as they had been the day before at the Eola Hotel. A semi-circle comprised of Josh, Toby, Xander, and Anya. A pile of open text in the middle they had scoured thoroughly to no avail. “He needs us all to meet at the Wensel House.”

 

A short pause settled over the group at that.

 

“The Wensel House?” Toby echoed incredulously. “He’s upstairs, for God’s sake. Why do we need to go the Wensel House?”

 

“Smaller. More private.” He glanced around the large lobby and arched a brow. “And his room is too small to hold everyone.”

 

“What’s this all about?” Josh demanded. “What’s going on?”

 

“An all-nighter study session?” Xander suggested.

 

“No, no.” Sam shook his head, muttered something into the phone, then cut the call with a shudder. “No. It’s Faith. He’s figured it out. He knows what’s wrong with Faith.” A sigh pressed through his lips and he trembled again. “He knows what’s wrong…and according to the book, we don’t have much time to stop it.”

 

Toby paused and licked his lips. “Meaning?”

 

“Meaning it’s over. Giles has figured it out. And if I know anything about these sort of meetings plus that crypt-o-gram gram, it really is the end of the world,” Xander concluded with a deep breath. “Again.”

 

 

Chapter Thirty-Two

 

 

It was practically universal law that if any two people had sex within a ten-mile radius of Anya Jenkins, she would pick up on it the minute they entered a room. Which was why Buffy spent a good quarter hour in front of the mirror trying to primp herself up as much as possible while making a series of practiced unsatisfied faces that hopefully reflected her temperament the last she was seen by her friends. Spike watched her for a few minutes before chuckling and yanking her into his arms to kiss her breath away; thoroughly destroying all attempts.

 

Buffy pouted. She had no qualm with sharing news of her relationship with the world, as she had assured him earlier that day. She simply didn’t want Anya to let the cat out of the bag before she was granted the opportunity to get a word in.

 

Then again, in the grand scheme, it didn’t really matter. And it was somewhat unavoidable in any regard.

 

“Wouldn’t do any good either way, kitten,” Spike assured her, nuzzling her hair. “That glow in your eyes? You can’t mask that.”

 

“My eyes are glowy?”

 

“Li’l bit. Got this dazed, ‘it’s almost like bein’ in love’ look about you.” He grinned and her heart skipped a beat, but she didn’t say a word. “’Sides, your body’s all soft an’ satisfied.” A hand trailed across her hip, teasing her effortlessly. “An’ you have this goofy smile that won’ go away.”

 

She blushed and slapped his shoulder. “You’re one to talk.”

 

“Not tryin’ to hide mine, though.” He leaned in to nibble on her lips. “Let the world talk. Doesn’ matter one way or another to me. Not gonna pull a Sir Broods-Alot.”

 

“Spike…”

 

He sighed dramatically, and the look on his face warmed her in ways she hadn’t known to exist. “Don’t dance all night with me, till the stars fade from above. They’ll see it’s all right with me.”

 

“Okay, now you’re singing.”

 

“Glad you noticed.” And completely unhampered, he gestured in a way that was completely exaggerated but had her hunched over in a fit of giggles the next minute. “People will say we’re in love!” He finished the well-sung line by drawing her into his arms and kissing her with enthusiasm that ignited her fire all over again. “Can’t help it, sweetheart,” he said a minute later. “In jus’ a day, you made me the happiest bloke in the world. I’d sing it from the bloody rooftops if you’d let me.” His lips brushed her cheek. “I love you so much, Buffy. So much.”

 

There it was again. That warmth, that lighthearted feeling of delirious jubilation that threatened to knock her off her feet every time she paused and remembered that everything was real. That she wasn’t living in a dreamworld. That last night had happened and they weren’t hiding anymore. Spike loved her; it seemed forever had passed since he turned her reality upside down. She thought she had been loved before, but there was no comparison. He let her know with and without words, with caresses and gazes drenched in longing that did little to mask his adoration just how much he loved her.

 

She didn’t want to go to this meeting. Her heart wrenched with fear at the thought. As though all the jaded worrying she had entertained all day was finally coming full circle. There was something about perfection that made everything horrible. Perfection had ripped Angel’s soul away, and though nothing of the matter had been said yet, she had the feeling that it was about to do a number on hers.

 

Angel, she had survived. On a day alone, she knew would not Spike.

 

So yes. She dreaded the meeting. Just as she dreaded the knowledge that came with Giles’s tone. His comprehension of what the text meant. Of what it would eventually take from her. This happiness. Today in paradise. She should have known better than to accept it at face value. To think the Powers would allow a Slayer to get away with love, whether or not the words were granted a voice.

 

Buffy drew in a deep breath. Whatever they had in store, she only hoped they were in for one hell of a fight. For having been granted this, the world would have to end before she gave it up.

 

Of course, those were more than fighting words where she came from.

 

Something cool touched her lips, and she closed her eyes and allowed herself to get lost in Spike’s kiss. The gentle prod of his tongue against hers, the tender sighs and whimpers he murmured into mouth, his hands caressing her skin, cupping her face, whispering without words that everything would be all right. Leaving her to burn in a beacon of ice for the way he touched her.

 

The world couldn’t melt away, though, as much as she wanted it to. The next minute, the front door was wide open and Willow was in the middle of their dining area, her eyes wide and apologetic. “Oh God! So sorry. I’m interrupting a moment.” She took a second before her eyes flashed to her surroundings. “And damn! This place is cozy! And…” The scent in the air was unmistakable; the Witch yelped softly and looked down with noted embarrassment.

 

Buffy and Spike pulled apart with some difficulty, but with similar haste at the thrill of being caught. So much for stealthy. “Sorry, Will,” the Slayer said quickly. “We were on our way over.”

 

“Yeh,” the vampire agreed, draping an arm over her shoulder. “An’ given how dedicated we’ve been to work today, we’d’ve made it in an hour or so.”

 

The Witch’s face matched her hair color, and she was furtively trying to look anywhere but at the two blondes that couldn’t help but make googly eyes at each other every few seconds, despite the awkward situation. “I-I-I was just gonna remind you to c-come over and stuff. Before, you know, Giles sent Xander.”

 

Buffy nodded with a grateful smile. “We really were on our way.”

 

“Slayer’s a li’l antsy,” Spike explained with an easy shrug, tugging his cigarettes out of his duster pocket. “Apocalypse an’ what all.”

 

That was something she hadn’t told him. Was she that obvious?

 

One look at her boyfriend confirmed the notion.

 

“Okay, well…” Willow put on the cheeriest fake smile that she could manage and nodded diplomatically. “Everyone’s here, I think…so we should probably…”

 

Buffy licked her lips and nodded, hand subconsciously reaching for Spike’s. “We’ll be over in a minute,” she said, smiling when he squeezed her hand in reassurance. “And Will?”

 

The redhead stopped with a small grin. “It’s fine, Buff,” she said, needing no further direction. And her acceptance—as plain, under-spoken but heartfelt as it was inspired dual expressions of pure bliss. “Really, really fine. But I’m not the one you need to convince.”

 

The vampire flashed a favorable grin. “Thanks, Red.”

 

Willow nodded again but did not reply, instead turned to leave the townhouse without making another sound. And dutifully, though with palpable hesitation, Buffy tugged on Spike’s hand once more and followed.

 

At the porch, things changed. The gravel river between the townhouse and the Wensel estate noting the first steps to be taken with a new revelation on their shoulders. The redhead disappeared inside as though Hell followed at the heels, and the moment she was gone, the Cockney slammed the door shut and shoved the Slayer against it. His mouth was on hers before she had time to react, tasting her with desperation marked with promise. Of everything he felt—everything they had shared in the past twenty-four hours to come full circle.

 

“I love you,” he said, smiling when she smiled—eyes stormed over at the sight of her breathless with arousal. He loved it that he could inspire her to such a state with merely a touch. It reassured him; empowered him in the knowledge that she felt as he did, even if the words had yet to surface. “Whatever happens in there…your friends—”

 

At that, her jaw dropped to protest. “I—”

 

“Whatever happens, I’m here. I’m not goin’ anywhere. Ever.” He sighed with a small, sheepish grin. “I love you so much. You jus’…I had to say it again before we went in, all right?”

 

Buffy just stared at him for a long minute before her face crumpled into a smile and she nodded, cupping his cheek and kissing him with all the reassurance he had given her. “Nothing’s going to change,” she said. “Today wasn’t just today to me…you know that, right?”

 

He nodded earnestly. “I know it.”

 

“Good.” Her smile broadened and she kissed him once more, unable to resist the sinister temptation of his soft lips. “We better get in there before they send out a search party.”

 

He nodded, grinning into her eyes. “We better.” He tugged at her hand questioningly, shoulders rolling back with relief when she refused to let go. And then they were walking off the porch and toward the main house. Two people changed for the better. A thousand years had passed since they last did this—since they faced others and smiled politely. Since anything. And now they were going together, and it was wonderful.

 

Which didn’t at all account for the knot of dread blossoming in her stomach.

 

*~*~*

 

The parlor was stretched with people—claustrophobic, but necessary.

 

Giles and Wesley stood at the mantle by the fireplace, very much like two unruly schoolmasters who were ready to call off an attendance role. Toby had assumed a customary position near the back corner; Josh next to Xander and Anya on the sofa in front of them. Next to her was Sam, and where went Sam, so went Willow. The redhead had just settled herself when Buffy and Spike walked into the room, linked tightly still and thankfully not drawing the theatrically expected silence with their obvious closeness.

 

Donna—who was seated in the recliner—however, did notice. She noticed and she jumped up immediately to offer them her seat.

 

“’S not necessary, pet,” the vampire assured her coolly.

 

“No. I like standing.” She smiled. “My job requires that I sit most of the time, anyway.”

 

“Except when she’s in my office bugging me about something trite,” Josh remarked, earning a scowl and an automatic slap from whichever female was nearest him. In this instance—Anya, who shrugged, muttered something about it seeming the thing to do in the namesake of vengeance, and went on flipping through her magazine.

 

“Or bringing you memos. Or teaching you how to use your computer. Or reminding you which tie you wore—”

 

“Yes, yes. The list goes on and on.”

 

Giles cleared his throat diplomatically, pointedly not looking in his Slayer’s direction when she finally caved to the imploring looks that the vampire was shooting her way and wriggled into his lap, his arms bound around her waist; his chin hooked over her shoulder. No, that image was much too disturbing. While he was no longer in denial of what had irrevocably happened between them, seeing it flaunted before his eyes would take some very slow, steady working up to.

 

“Well…” The Watcher began slowly. “Erm, with the assistance of Anya and Wesley, we have uncovered some highly disturbing revelations pending on the inevitable arise of Quirinias.”

 

Buffy’s face fell. “Rise?”

 

“Well, erm, yes. That being the problem at the moment.” Giles cast his head downward. “You see, Quirinias is not only a Roman god—nor is he confined to the Sabine culture. It took much cross-referencing, but I am confident now that I know the full of his intentions.” He cleared his throat. “It is my belief that those two are the only cultures that can provide surviving and solid documentation. The Assyrian passages indicated scrolls that mentioned him in passing…as did the Greek…which opened the door to numerous past civilizations with their own account. Which is why I believe that the buruburu attacked you, Buffy. Why it was here at all.”

 

Xander blinked dumbly. “Uhhh…” He raised his hand. “Can you back up and explain? I’m not following.”

 

“’S simple,” Spike nearly growled. Through the two minutes of her Watcher’s preamble to the longer explanation, his grip around her middle had restricted possessively. And though she was not facing him, Buffy could feel the hint of yellow behind the daggers he shot across the room. “This bloke’s bigger than the bloody book was forecastin’—covers more territory an’ the like. So when he was released, he let all his sodding baggage out with him.”

 

There was a minute before Sam realized the last was spoken with a particularly nasty look shot in his direction. “Hey!” he yelped defensively. “I-I didn’t know, okay? A-and it might not even be that it w-was me—”

 

“Don’t scare him!” Willow snapped.

 

“Yeah! Don’t scare me!”

 

Xander was staring at the blondes, his face slack. “Ummm…someone wanna explain to me why Buffy’s sitting in Spike’s lap?” A pregnant pause filled the room before he received several strategic slaps upside the head from numerous benefactors. “Hey!”

 

“They’re having sex,” Anya said with a shrug, eyes perusing an article in her magazine. “And no, you can’t stop it, so don’t try.”

 

“I—”

 

“So much for practicin’ your unsatisfied face,” Spike murmured into her ear.

 

“I was hoping the impending apocalypse would be more interesting than my sex life,” the Slayer whispered back.

 

“Never happen, pet.”

 

Giles was frantically polishing his glasses—Wesley evidently having found something remarkably fascinating with the Monet on the opposing wall. And it was expected. Even with the world literally falling apart at the hinges, everyone took a time out to argue the virtues of sleeping with vampires.

 

“I just…” Xander met Buffy’s eyes worriedly. “I thought—”

 

Anya released an exaggerated breath and twisted in her seat. “They spent the day copulating, Xander,” she said softly. “Buffy has found someone to provide her with orgasms, something she has been grossly in need of since—quite frankly—I’ve known her. And even you admitted last night that Spike was the least likely person in the world to harm her. So please desist your irrational objection so that Giles can continue explaining the various ways in which we are about to be extremely dead.”

 

The Slayer stared at her friend in astonishment. “Xander? You really said that?”

 

He glanced down. “I didn’t mean it,” he replied unconvincingly. “I just…I was talking and words were said. That’s all.”

 

“Aww, Harris.” Spike smirked at him in a tone that betrayed his surprise. “Din’t know you cared.”

 

“I don’t. Again with the words and the meaning nothing.”

 

“Ummm?” Josh raised his hand slowly. “Can we please get back to the extremely dead part? Or something that might be potentially relevant to everyone here and not your daytime drama that is—don’t get me wrong—not without the entertaining.”

 

“Second that,” Giles agreed hastily. His face was ten shades of red. “Well, ehm, Spike was right in the sense of…the buruburus attack. I believe that Quirinias mapped out a considerable amount of territory before he was banished. Really, with all the running around that has been done of late, it is fortunate that a buruburu attack was the only out of form creature that anyone has come across.”

 

Wesley stepped forward and cleared his throat. “Only not,” he said, ignoring the questioning look he received in turn. “Quirinias has one goal: become corporeal. His powers in the meantime have been significantly drained. Reciting the words from the book did in fact give his essence leave, and therefore more power than the original hold—”

 

Sam studiously ignored every glare he received.

 

“—but it takes the fulfillment of a certain ritual to grant him a solid body. I believe that is the reason that Buffy’s encounter with the buruburu has been the only known incident. To manifest his hold on creatures that are not originally native to America would take more energy than he has at present. Everything right now is focused on obtaining form.”

 

There was a pregnant pause at that.

 

“So…” Toby gesticulated wildly. “Why are we here?”

 

“You’re here by accident,” Giles said. “The wrong bloody place at the wrong time. Sam’s muttering the words from the text enforced the barrier around the town, I believe—which would also command a significant amount of energy from Quirinias.” He glanced admirably to Wesley. “I believe you are right. That does account for much.”

 

The younger Watcher blushed. “I…really…the only natural conclusion…”

 

Donna beamed at him winningly aside her flagrant fear, which only made the blush more furious. At that, Josh snickered and rolled his eyes. Wesley shot a mildly paranoid look in his direction, turned deeper shades of red that looked almost painful, and glanced down again.

 

“So, in sane man’s terms?” Toby demanded, masterfully getting everyone back on track. “What does this mean?”

 

“Ah. Yes.” Giles did some more shifting. “The text describes Quirinias as a god feared by anyone who uttered his name—a god as powerful as any of the others in ancient culture, but shadowed with foreknowledge of his power to the extent that he has barely slipped into the history books. And what is mentioned in the more communal text is brief—a powerful god that not much is known about. I am not even sure that the Watcher’s Council is aware of…” He glanced down and cleared his throat. “Well, according to the book, there was a prophecy—”

 

Buffy groaned.

 

Sam tossed her a sideways glance. “What? Why the ‘ugh’? I don’t like that sound.”

 

“Because that word means bad in so many ways,” Xander explained.

 

“Prophecies equal not good in our world,” Willow explained calmly, though she was gripping his knee as though the apocalypse was literally at the doorstep. “What’s the prophecy?”

 

Giles and Wesley exchanged a look.

 

“Well,” the latter began. “Around 750 BCE, Quirinias evidently developed an aspiration to transcend his powers by becoming completely corporeal. He selected the strongest of the warriors at the time to act as a vessel…and the warrior just happened to be—”

 

Spike held up a hand. His grip on Buffy had suddenly gone rigid. “Lemme guess. A Slayer?”

 

The Watchers looked at him then with sudden empathy. Not much, but a flash of identical understanding. A knowledge buried that the same would likely destroy him just as well as anyone else bearing that comprehension. “Yes,” Giles said. “A Slayer. And Quirinias was successful. So powerful was the fear behind his name that no one dared contest him. The Slayer fought, of course, but she was overwhelmed. And…”

 

Josh quirked a brow. “Possessed?”

 

“That’s one way of putting it.” The elder Watcher cleared his throat. “There was a ritual involved. In order to take over the Slayer, Quirinias focused all his energies into…well, firstly making sure she was…compatible. Her body immortalized and prepared to accept all his power. Hardened. Gave her strength beyond strength. This, naturally, arose the interest of a coven of witches. They set about to stop Quirinias with little to no support…and bargained with a demon for borrowed power that they infested into something called the Rite of Thrieve.”

 

Wesley stepped in automatically as Giles’s voice dimmed—an eager pitch-hitter that similarly adored expressions of affection or admiration, even if it embarrassed the hell out of him. “What the Rite of Thrieve does exactly, we do not know,” he said. “But the book does detail it specifically…including the exact incantations. For it to work, a witch, a warlock, and I believe a sorcerer are all that is needed…and, of course, a considerable amount of power linked between them.”

 

“Warlock?” Josh echoed incredulously.

 

“Sorcerer?” Toby muttered, the look on his face demanding that someone inform him that he had officially lost his mind and was safely shackled up in some loony bin.

 

Willow whimpered. “Witch? Witch? I-I’m the only witch here…that’s not fair. That’s not…I—”

 

Giles held up a hand as Sam’s arms came around the redhead in comfort. “We’re not asking you to perform the Rite of Thrieve,” he assured her gently. “I am not comfortable harnessing you with that sort of power…especially when we do not know what it does.”

 

Xander perked a brow. “Then how exactly are we supposed to stop this thing? I mean, if this bad ass god guy’s after Buffy, then—”

 

“He’s not.”

 

“Not what?”

 

“After Buffy. I thought that much was clear.” Giles pursed his lips. “Quirinias was banished with the Rite of Thrieve…banished, but not destroyed. You cannot fully destroy gods. If they are gods from separate realms or dimensions, you can send them back to whatever hellfire they came from and place a blockade between the fabric of realities to prevent any reentrance, but you cannot kill them. It’s especially trickier with gods from…well, in our case…here. Our dimension. Quirinias has been biding time for centuries…regaining power, formulating moves, but never quite existing. The only true power that he has right now is that of suggestion. Or a pull in all things otherworldly to come when he beckons them. No, Xander. He is not after Buffy at all.”

 

“Faith.” The word escaped Sam’s lips softly, his eyes softening with remembrance. “It’s Faith, isn’t it? It has to be. The things she said…”

 

“Things?” Willow frowned. “What things?”

 

He shook his head, trembling slightly. “J-just things. She was…well, she was…”

 

“A psychopath?” Toby ventured.

 

“Any day of the week,” Buffy muttered, leaning subconsciously into Spike for comfort that he gave in abundance.

 

Sam released a quivering sigh and ran a hand through his hair. “I-I…it all happened fast. A-and it seems like it was a long time ago now. But other than being very strong and…demanding…she was…afraid. And mumbling things about how she ran here and couldn’t leave.”

 

A small silence settled over them as they took in this new information. The Deputy Communications Director had gone pale in recollection of that night, but his eyes were light and oddly relieved. As though he had finally confessed the deadliest of sins.

 

“So it’s safe to summarize,” Giles said slowly, “that Faith was drawn here for the specific purpose of being used by Quirinias.”

 

“An’ we followed like faithful chimps,” Spike grumbled. “S’pose it was our job to uncover the bloody book that let the wanker out in the firs’ place, right? ‘S why the Slayer was so bloody sure Faith was in the car ahead of us. An’…” He tossed a mildly apologetic glance to Sam. “Prob’ly the root cause to what happened to you too, mate. Kept the rogue bird nice an’ distracted while we were off gallivantin’ at some bloody tourist trap.”

 

“Hey!” Buffy twisted in his arms. “It was your idea to go inside.”

 

He avoided her eyes almost bashfully. “Jus’ wanted to take the sodding tour.”

 

“And the stupid picture of the stupid mirror.”

 

“Was jus’ gettin’ my money’s worth, luv. ‘Sides…” His voice lowered conspiratorially. “You din’t seem to mind aaallll that much.”

 

“Okay.” Josh’s shrill voice intervened their banter before it could be taken any further. “Okay. Let’s just jump to worst-case scenario, shall we? Faith’s out there and been missing ever since she and Sam…uhhh…” He glanced to his friend regretfully. “Since she…well, you know. This god guy’s been distracting the other Slayer with books and buru-whatchamacallits and her vampire love slave. If he—”

 

Spike growled defensively. “What’s happened between us has sod all to due with some wanker god, all right?”

 

“How do you know?” Xander demanded.

 

Buffy’s face flamed. “Because it was happening before we left Sunnydale.” The Cockney behind her went rigid with her admission, but relaxed the next minute and purred approvingly, subtly stroking the small of her back where the others couldn’t see. “It’s been happening ever since the…well…I think it’s been happening all along.”

 

Willow’s eyes softened and Donna cooed. “Aww,” she said. “That is so sweet!”

 

A chorus of ‘no it’s not’ answered her with enthusiasm.

 

“Whatever.” Josh waved a hand and continued. “Okay. This god guy does the ritual and possesses Faith. What then?”

 

Giles and Wesley exchanged another helpless glance.

 

“The words ‘blind panic’ come to mind,” the former said gently. “Without the Rite of Thrieve, there really is nothing. Quirinias in solid form with a body that is already structured to be stronger than any human on the planet is not exactly a heartwarming thought. Especially since he controls any number of ancient demons that seemingly have a habit of following him wherever he goes. Once he crosses that line and fully enters our realm…there will be no stopping him.”

 

Xander licked his lips. “So I’m guessing the plan is to find Faith before he does?”

 

There was another pause. “He has Faith already,” Wesley said. “He has all along. He’s had her from the moment she arrived here, and definitely from the moment that his power was fully unleashed with—”

 

Sam wailed miserably. “I know! I know! Do you have to rub it in?”

 

“It is your fault,” Anya observed.

 

“I saw a language. I was curious!”

 

“Didn’t have to read it out loud,” Donna grumbled.

 

“A little sympathy here?” He glanced to Willow who offered him her brightest ‘we’re-all-gonna-die-because-of-you-but-I-love-you-anyway’ smile and took him in a comforting hug.

 

“Okay, so the god already has Faith…” Buffy licked her lips and slowly rose to her feet. “Do we have any way to find out where the ritual will take place? Or when? Or how the hell fast I can get there?”

 

“We can get there,” Spike corrected as he rose behind her and took her hand in his. “Not lettin’ you go anywhere without me, luv. Told you as much.”

 

Giles frowned worriedly. “Buffy…this is power beyond power that you have faced before. If you’re too late or…do you realize the magnitude of—”

 

She waved him off in a manner that did not betray her apprehension. “Yes, yes. I know. Grave danger abounds. One problem. I’m the one chosen to stop the grave danger. Does anyone here have any better suggestions?”

 

The room fell silent. There was simply nothing to say.

 

“Yeah. Thought so.” Buffy turned to Willow. “Is there any way you can—”

 

“If the words ‘location spell’ come out of your mouth, I am turning Spike into a newt.”

 

Buffy winced. “Do you even know how to do that?”

 

“W-well, that’s not exactly the point now, is it?”

 

Sam grinned at her fondly.

 

In any regard, the Slayer rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. “I was going to suggest locating Quirinias based on this power he’s allegedly releasing. If you’re tapped into it like that, and if he’s soaking in so much, won’t that give us an approximate on where we might be able to find Faith?”

 

Willow glanced down at that and shrugged sheepishly. “I hadn’t thought of that.”

 

Giles looked thoroughly embarrassed. “I don’t believe any of us had. Oh dear.” A sigh tackled his throat. “Well, I suppose we didn’t know where to look…and the Faith/Quirinias bond was always a little vague…”

 

Josh and Toby glanced at each other wryly but opted to forgo commentary.

 

Buffy nodded and tugged on Spike’s arm. “Well, there’s a start. We’re gonna go get supplies. I want a direction by the time we get back.”

 

The redhead nodded in turn. “Yeah. Yeah, if he’s using up that much energy, picking up on it won’t take much. Give me ten minutes.”

 

And that was that. The group dispersed into a various array of tasks from the mundane to the ambiguous. Willow speaking softly to Sam on all the materials she would need. Anya trying to persuade Xander to go upstairs and get in some orgasms before the world ended. Josh and Toby debating whether or not to ring Leo and let him know all that was happening now, thanks to Sam’s thirst for knowledge. Donna and Wesley standing awkwardly with nothing to do, avoiding each other’s eyes now that work had come to an end.

 

At the door, Giles stopped Spike before he could follow Buffy across the way to the townhouse. The Slayer flashed him a concerned look, but he waved her off reassuringly. A fatherly moment to the boy his baby girl had decided to date, heedless of his warnings.

 

Heedless of the fact that she was the Slayer and he was a vampire and there should be no discussion after that.

 

“I just want you to know,” Giles began softly, “if something happens to Buffy, I will hold you responsible. She trusts you—and I believe I can, but you are a vampire with a reputation for murdering Slayers. If something happens to her, I will make you suffer in ways that would make your grandsire weep with shame. Do you understand me?”

 

Spike nodded solemnly. There was no need to contest; just this much acceptance was more than he had expected. And it was enough. “Jus’ one thing, Watcher.” He waited until he had the old man’s eyes. “’F somethin’ happens to Buffy, my suffering’ll be in vain. Nothin’ you could do to me would compare.” His voice dropped. “Nothing.”

 

A glare heated between them, and slowly warmed into a gaze of mutual regard. And that was that. Spike awkwardly patted the Watcher on the back and turned to follow his girl across the way, smiling at the way she had waited for him at the porch.

 

Giles watched them exchange a tender look before they disappeared inside. Watched, and his heart wrenched at the emotion screamed without muttering a sound. He knew then that the vampire spoke the truth, and above all else, would keep his word.

 

Spike would die protecting her. He would. It was a surreal piece of knowledge to possess, but no less true when pushed under surveillance. Spike would die protecting his Slayer.

 

Because he loved her.

 

Giles pursed his lips in silent acquiescence, then turned slowly and disappeared inside the main house.

 

 

Chapter Thirty-Three

 

 

By the time Buffy had gathered whatever it was that she needed to gather, the town was on fire. A slow burn that had traffic backed up for miles on roads that usually knew no traffic. The taciturn acceptance that had once settled over Natchez was gone in fifteen minutes. And as what commonly happened in a crisis, panic had commandeered apathy with a surprising comeback.

 

Buffy and Spike found the Scoobies and the Senior Staffers on the back porch facing the townhouse—a sort of grim seeing off party who neglected to greet them, neglected to even look in their direction. Rather, their attention was captured unanimously by the impressive lightshow coming from the highway. An impromptu Fourth of July celebration placed in the last days before Christmas.

 

“What happened?” the Slayer murmured to Willow, crossbow slung over her shoulder.

 

The only thing, evidently, that could distract a man’s attention from shiny lights was the sight of an impressive weapon. Josh did not disappoint; his eyes immediately fastened on the collection of weaponry the Slayer and the vampire were toting, glistening with appreciation. “Where did you guys get those?”

 

Buffy smiled grimly, trading a bemused glance with Spike. “Never go anywhere unprepared,” she replied, shrugging.

 

“It just started,” Willow said, ignoring the smaller trade. “There was nothing and then everyone in town just started freaking out.”

 

“Yeah,” Xander agreed, nodding. His eyes were fixed on something in the distance, and pointed demonstratively. “And it seems to be coming from over there.”

 

Buffy followed his point and nearly dropped her crossbow. “Oh God.”

 

“Yeah,” Willow mused in agreement. “That’s pretty much been the sentiment out here.”

 

“Gonna go out on a limb,” Spike ventured, “an’ say that’s where we’re headed.”

 

“Very good limb,” Donna agreed.

 

The relative terrain of the Natchez area was mostly elevated—a series of hills and bluffs. This, naturally, assumed the impression of distance when distance was not at its greatest. It came as no surprise when cars passing the Wensel House began to slow as passengers grew wary in fear and bowed to the more dangerous whims of curiosity.

 

“I never got that,” the vampire murmured, distracting the group’s attention from the light show in the distance. “Somethin’ bloody bizarre’s goin’ off an’ you soddin’ pulsers think it a brilliant time to stop an’ take a long gander.”

 

Buffy met his eyes with amusement before turning to nudge the Witch from her absorption. “What do you think?”

 

“It’s not as far away as it looks,” the redhead murmured after a few seconds. “The water tower’s that way…” She gestured distractedly in the opposing direction, frowning in thought. “And from what Giles suggested…if Quirinias has decided to make his move now, he would need altitude. A place to perform the ceremony…and…” She drifted off for a few more seconds before her eyes widened in realization. “Oh God. I know where it is.”

 

Sam touched her shoulder. “Willow?”

 

“It’s Longwood. It has to be. It’d be vacated and has a high altitude…not to mention, seclusion and it’s on that side of town.” She turned violently to the Slayer, eyes flaring. “You were there. Remember? That dome? It’s perfect for utilizing that kind of energy, especially since Quirinias is incorporeal. All the circumstantial…and if that light show is any indication, he’s already got a good head start.”

 

Spike nodded shortly. “We gotta get goin’.”

 

“What are we supposed to do?” Josh demanded. “Sit here and twiddle our thumbs.”

 

“I think you’re underestimating the virtues of a good thumb-twiddling,” Xander observed. “Unless, of course, you want to be out where the likelihood of becoming extremely dead is at an all-time high.”

 

The vampire’s eyes darkened, reaching for Buffy’s hand and squeezing his reassurance. “No one’s becomin’ dead on my watch.”

 

“You’re going to have to go on foot,” Giles observed, nodding at the traffic. “The citizens of Natchez have selected the most inopportune time to become startlingly aware of the happenings in their town. Right then…” His eyes focused on Buffy. “You know how to get to this place?”

 

“I know. Will and I were there once before.”

 

“Be careful.”

 

“’ve got her back,” Spike growled. “’F she’s anythin’ but, it’ll be because I’m dead.”

 

“And what a tragedy that would be,” Xander murmured, frowning when Donna elbowed him.

 

“Bring Faith back to the drawing room,” Giles said. “Wesley and I will do what we can to eradicate whatever damages have been done before we decide what is to be done with her.”

 

Buffy nodded and tugged on Spike’s hand. “Come on,” she said. “The sooner we get this over with, the sooner we get to go home.”

 

He nodded in turn, though the look in his eyes was much too distant to trust anything so remote. The feeling that had been surmounting all day—all through their revelations and trades, lovemaking, confessions, and now this. He had known it was coming, and still with everything else, it was still much too soon.

 

So soon.

 

Dread would not stop him, though. Nothing could.

 

To the end of the world and back. Whatever it took.

 

They had come this far. He would not lose her now.

 

*~*~*

 

The path that led up to the old house was off a smaller road and wound into a thicket of woods that seemingly guided them out of the town altogether. It was strange going from an urbanized setting to virtually the middle of nowhere, and still acknowledge that Natchez existed around them.

 

It was at the gateway where they would, on an ordinary day, stop and purchase tickets that Buffy finally slowed from the fast-paced sprint to a sudden halt, hunching over. The distance between the Wensel House and Longwood was considerable—though not as the light show would have suggested, still a monumentally longer run than she was accustomed to in Sunnydale.

 

Especially with a considerably heavy crossbow slung over her back.

 

Spike’s eyes widened when he saw her buckle, diving forward from where he had previously been lagging behind to catch her before she tumbled completely. Her arms immediately latched around his throat, and she clung to him, gasping as her heart thundered against his unanswering chest.

 

He held her for a few moments while she caught her breath, running a soothing hand through her hair. “Don’ go losin’ your energy on me now, luv,” he whispered, brushing a kiss across her temple. “Not when we gotta god to fight.”

 

“I’ll be fine,” she gasped. “Just…haven’t run that fast since track senior year.”

 

“Noticed. Think you broke a few records.”

 

Buffy didn’t reply, merely clung to him, breathing deeply as she gathered herself. And Spike didn’t mind that at all; as long as she was here, pressed against him, she wasn’t in danger. She was with him. Her hair curled through his fingers, her body against his. He would hold her as long as she needed. Forever if she needed.

 

“Thank you,” she murmured. He wondered if he had spoken that last bit aloud.

 

“For what, sweetling?” he replied, whispering a kiss against her forehead.

 

“Coming with me. I know you—”

 

He pulled back, eyes wide as saucers. “Wouldn’t’ve been able to stop me ‘f you tried,” he swore ardently. “Told you, luv, I got your back. ‘m not lettin’ you go without a fight.”

 

“I know. And I know…I…” She broke and shook her head, pulling away slightly in subtle recognition that the time for heartfelt trades and emotional confessions was indefinitely reserved for the post-battle bliss. There were just some things that needed to be said now, regardless of suitability. “I’ve never fought a god before,” she said.

 

“Well, ‘f all goes well tonight, you won’t be.” He offered a lopsided grin and tugged at her hand. “Come on, luv. This apocalypse isn’t gonna stop itself.”

 

Buffy’s eyes narrowed. “Do you have to call it that?”

 

“Jus’ tryin’ to implement some sense of urgency.”

 

“Trust me, I got that memo loud and more than clear.” She turned her eyes to the grove of trees that guarded Longwood, the house itself a display of lights that shot far higher than the tallest branches. “Okay. Willow suggested that this guy would need altitude to get this thing done. I’ve been in the house just once…the basement level’s the only place inhabitable. The rest is all boards and paint cans and tools. It’s open air—a cylinder type thing on the inside that leads directly to the dome.”

 

“The book you gave me had some diagrams,” Spike acknowledged with a nod. “These blokes really like to show off their grandeur, right? ‘S jus’ a big octagon.”

 

“Yeah, and it’s completely hollow on the inside.”

 

“You jus’ said as much.”

 

“Well, when we get in…assuming there are no tricks…” Buffy expelled a deep breath. “She’ll likely be up high. Whatever he’s doing’s going to be pretty well connected with this lightshow, and since the verdict is he’s incorporeal, it might be hard to see where he’s coming from. We’ll just have to remain focused and get her the hell down before whatever’s supposed to go down goes down.”

 

Spike studied her with an arched brow. “Feel better now that you got that off your chest?”

 

“I’m a whole new woman.”

 

His eyes raked her body appreciatively at that. “Hopefully not, luv,” he said. “I was rather fond of the woman I spent the afternoon with.”

 

Buffy flushed but didn’t respond. “I just need a picture of what’s going to happen. Makes it easier for the in/out thing.”

 

“Right.” That made sense enough.

 

“And…be careful once we get inside.”

 

Spike arched a brow. Her flush deepened.

 

“I’m mentioning it because above the basement’s pretty much every vampire’s nightmare.” She sent him a long, meaningful look as they set off down the path once more. “I just wanna make sure that you’re gonna be okay.”

 

Spike just looked at her, smiling gently. “Tryin’ to scare me off?”

 

“No. I just don’t want you to get overly-zealous and…” She trailed off sheepishly and returned his grin, squeezing his hand with more affection than even she was aware of. “I don’t want you to get hurt. I know that trying to talk you out of this is impossible, but—”

 

“Damn straight.”

 

“Just be careful, okay? If you get…hurt, I’m not…” Buffy pursed her lips, her eyes fogging; her breath stopped in her throat. The wealth of emotion that crossed her features alone touched the vampire deeper than any one action ever had before. There were words there that had yet to be said. Words that would feel too much like a goodbye if she said them now. “I can’t…”

 

“Shhh, sweetheart.” He whispered another kiss into her hair, squeezing her tighter to them as they neared the last bend that shielded the house from the main road. “I know. We’ll take care of each other, right?”

 

The uncertainty in her eyes nearly killed him, but he well understood her fear. It was too much their karma to obtain something pure and perfect before life—before the Powers decided to rip it from them. And now that he had this, walking toward an uncertain fate with the weight of the world and the promise of something he had waited forever to have—there was just so much to lose.

 

And then, just as the house was coming into view—the glow of the lights nearly blinding them both—Spike couldn’t stop himself. He had to say it again. Just this one more time. Just in case.

 

“Buffy.” He stopped abruptly, tugging her back to him. The softness in her eyes was more than enough to attest what he needed to say. That radiance. That kind understanding. That fluster of feeling she had yet to name. It was all there. All waiting behind her eyes. “Buffy,” he said again, smoldering. “I love you.”

 

Her cheeks flushed and her eyes warmed. It had only been a day. They had enjoyed a night together, spent a glorious day basking in the novelty of budding emotions that they were still hesitant to name.

 

If they were going out, now would be the time. When they were both so blissfully happy.

 

Instead, Buffy shook her head and nodded. “I know,” she said, brushing an ardent kiss against his lips. “Spike, I—”

 

He pulled away rapidly, though likewise with reluctance. “No.”

 

“No?”

 

“Not now.” He nodded to the house. “After. All right?”

 

“What?”

 

“After. We’ll save this for after, right?” He studied her a minute longer, then shrugged with a sheepish, uncertain smile. “Jus’ have somethin’ to look forward to. Give us reason to get it done quick. Sound good?”

 

She looked at him a moment longer, eyes unreadable.

 

Then, slowly, she smiled.

 

“Sounds perfect.”

 

His smile broadened and he neared and kissed her again. Right. Perfect.

 

Now they just had to survive whatever this Quirinias had in store. Survive it and get a Slayer out in the process.

 

A Slayer that was already a bona fide psychotic.

 

Right. Piece of cake.

 

*~*~*

 

The inside of Longwood was, at first take, deceptively serene. The sort of deathly silence that preludes a terrible collusion. Driving forward slowly into unknown territory. Such to the point that when Buffy kicked the front door open, the splintering crack that echoed through the vacant halls resonated for eerie seconds and hummed to a still when finished, unwilling to fully expire.

 

“’S this a bad time to mention that I have a bad feelin’ about this?” Spike whispered, hands steady at her waist. The inside was exactly as she had described; a large shell with markings of plans on the walls—instructions a hundred years plus in the making. “Right. So…creepy.”

 

Buffy snickered, eyes tracing the walls. Every step they took sounded through endless and empty corridors; a sure forewarning to anyone who might be listening. “Creeping out the vampire,” she murmured. “That’s reassuring.”

 

“Oi.”

 

“Just saying.” They didn’t get very far in—whatever was there was definitely disembodied, but at the same time, not lacking in power. The outer hall of the house, supported by pillars that would have held statues in small alcoves had the home been completed, parted at the entrance and led to the focal point of the ground floor. A small boxed window embedded in the center of the room—the same that illuminated the furnished basement through a series of paned windows and careful strategy.

 

The light was blinding. Shooting directly from bottom to top.

 

And levels upward where no man had traveled in years, Faith was tied between boards; her body outstretched. Made an offering of the gods.

 

“We don’t have much time,” Buffy said. “Come on.”

 

“That’s well an’ good. Whaddya have in mind?”

 

The Slayer didn’t answer immediately. Her eyes were fixated on the captive brunette, large with calculation. She was a symphony of light. A showcase of the worst kind. “He’s going to go through the beam,” she said slowly. “The show’s not for us…not even for her. It’s for him.”

 

“Huh’s that?”

 

“The ritual they were talking about…Faith’s here. That’s it. The ritual prepares him, not her.” Her gaze widened with understanding. “I’ve got to get up there.”

 

“Buffy—”

 

It was no use. She had projected herself a good ten feet in the air the next minute, landing haphazardly on the floorboards of an unfinished veranda. And he didn’t think. Didn’t take a beat to second guess himself before following. All he knew was if she ran, he ran with her. He wasn’t letting her out of his sight.

 

Even when she acted without thought.

 

“Buffy—” he began again to little avail. “Wait! We have to—”

 

“I’ve got it!” she yelled back, eyes already scoping the length of her next leap. The waver of the wooden planks beneath their feet was doing everything possible to invigorate his heart out of its century-long retirement. The fall they would both survive, but she was human and that made her fallible.

 

Something he wondered that she didn’t forget every now and then.

 

The beams shooting from the lower levels were growing more intense. The Slayer was a flight above him. And from nowhere, the ground had started humming a low, intoxicating growl that touched every corner of the unfinished manor.

 

Spike’s eyes widened. They were running out of time.

 

Already.

 

“Buffy!” He glanced downward into the focus of the beam, flinching away in surprise when his skin didn’t evaporate into dust. “’S gonna come through the—”

 

“Spike!”

 

She was a blur of motion, but for the rumble quaking the floorboards, he knew then—in that instant—that she would not be fast enough. There were certain things that a Slayer could not outrun.

 

A Slayer. Not a demon.

 

“Buffy!”

 

Fire flashed out the dirtied window panes. Blazes of orange and red. Spike was moving without realizing it; his feet carrying him blindly in the only direction he knew. It was a question of time now. He had lost interest in saving Faith. Right now, it was a matter of grabbing Buffy and getting the hell out.

 

Faith was beyond saving. For however fast they were, the god would have her first.

 

And then there would be nothing to do but run.

 

The rumble escalated to climax, and in a second, it was over. The lower floors diminished with a roar, dissolving into a blur of rising glory. Spike’s eyes widened, fixated on his Slayer. Suspended in midair, a half-leap made to the other side of the veranda. It tore through her body as though she was made of nothing—pierced an inhuman scream through the air as her skin spread with the rage of a sudden inferno.

 

The blaze stopped with her and the roar was over before he could react. And then, just as quickly, the wisps of power softened into the welcoming embrace of her vulnerable skin, ignoring Faith entirely.

 

It all happened within seconds. A few horrible seconds. Spike wasn’t aware that he was screaming until his voice bounced with impact. He had leapt across the veranda to catch her before she could fall, landing harshly on the other side of the dome.

 

He didn’t pause to think for himself. Buffy was in his arms, and she wasn’t moving.

 

“Buffy!” He clutched at her with desperation, brushing locks of hair from her face. Their surroundings forgotten—he didn’t care about the rest. Didn’t care that the rumble had died and the beams of light were extinguished. Didn’t care to acknowledge what that meant. His mind was racing, his unbeating heart ached to pound. “Buffy! Talk to me, baby. Say somethin’. God, please!”

 

There was nothing.

 

No life. No light. Faith was screaming for help, but he ignored her.

 

The light had gone into Buffy.

 

No. No, he refused to acknowledge what that meant.

 

He shook her gently, ignoring the sudden flood of tears washing down his face. “Come on, pet,” he murmured, brushing a desperate kiss across her forehead. “You can’t do this to me. We were gonna talk, remember? We were gonna get out an’ talk. You can’t—”

 

A groan cut through his pleas.

 

Spike brought her to his chest and rocked her back and forth. “Oh thank God,” he gasped, not truly believing the words. Needing to hear something hopeful, even in a voice laced with doubt. “Thank God. Sweetheart, I—”

 

The air pierced with a shriek that would make angels weep sliced through his falsetto relief with a calamitous outburst. Buffy’s head lurched back and her body trembled into a fit of convulsions.

 

Her eyes were made of gold.

 

Spike felt the largest part of him crash. Holding her to him, sobbing into her hair.

 

Clinging to Buffy in the shattered remains of his father’s home.

 

His goddess that was to become a god.

 Chapter Thirty-Four

 

 

The townhouse was surprisingly vacant when he tore through the back entrance, a writhing, screaming Slayer in his arms. The sprint was a flash of nothing—he didn’t recall gathering her in his embrace, didn’t remember the sting of the air as he battled his way back to the Wensel House. There were fresh claw marks on his body; the bittersweet scent of his own blood filled the air. He felt nothing, though. There was nothing. She snarled, clawed, screamed, and cried—she tore at him limply and struggled for freedom against strength she should have overpowered.

 

But this was not Buffy. He was not holding Buffy. It was Buffy’s body, Buffy’s hands and arms, Buffy’s sweet face, but it was not her.

 

He knew. Because the red streak raked down the side of her face was there because of him. She was hurt because of him; hurt sometime in the struggle between Longwood and home. And the chip had not gone off.

 

Buffy was not in there anymore.

 

“Hold on, baby,” Spike gasped, rushing into his bedroom, eyes darting to every corner in desperate search for anything he could use to restrain her. The room was as anyone would expect with a bed and breakfast establishment. A bed, a dresser, a closet, and blankets. Nothing. His heart sank and the tears he had been holding back since making the impossible sprint across town crackled over the surface. “Hold on. ‘m gonna fix you. We’ll get you cured.”

 

Buffy didn’t hear anything. A terrible roar erupted from her beautiful mouth and she clawed viciously at his throat, tackling him back to the bed. “Te aari kanssa myöhässä, vampyyri. Adsum! Se has alkaa. Ad vitam Paramus!”

 

Spike’s eyes widened and he toppled back, releasing his hold on her waist so that he might grasp her wrists. “I’ve got you,” he promised raucously, ignoring the sharp jolts that shot through his throat. Ignoring the blood oozing through broken skin. “’m not lettin’ you go.”

 

το κτήνος την έχει τώρα! το κτήνος την έχεϊ!”

 

“Buffy—”

 

Her eyes widened dangerously, blazing yellow there that turned his body to ice. “Amat victoria curam! O inferno quê-la grande. Você não pode derrotar um deus!” she shrieked. “Magister mundi sum!”

 

There was a modest amount of Latin and Greek that the vampire understood. Things buried deep within his memory; schooling that had refused to adhere to the rule of time. And the words rumbling through her now, words Buffy would never have any reason to know much less speak, froze his dead blood and frightened him to a second wake.

 

“Oh God.” His body quivered with recognition alone. “Oh God.”

 

Buffy’s eyes blazed gold with shades of red, her hands fighting his for dominance. “Stultum est timere quod vitare non potes. Sînt un Dumnezeu!”

 

The next few seconds passed in a blur of movement. His mind was screaming, his body weary and ready to let her have him. The thing that had been Buffy snarled and rasped, her head thrown back in a silent depiction of pain. The crack that buzzed through the room nearly snapped him in half—rendering him instead into the dresser with a calamitous smash. The walls pulsed with power.

 

“Spike!”

 

So familiar.

 

A hand was on his shoulder. Donna. It was Donna. When had Donna gotten here?

 

It took a few minutes for the vampire to realize his arms were no longer filled with a struggling Slayer. A few prolonged seconds before he saw her on the bed. Saw her; saw Willow standing in the doorway, a pained look on her face. Her extended arm trembling with the weight of a god’s influence. Saw Sam and Josh standing behind her, trading uncertain glances between the battered demon and the blonde that thrashed on the mattress.

 

“Oh my God,” the redhead whispered, her eyes wide with horror.

 

Something horrible rang through the air. Something that made his insides coil. The slow rumble of a demon’s laugh. A demon too far placed in a body that did not welcome it. Spike finally felt the sting of salt against the blood at his throat. His tears ran too deep to flinch at every cut.

 

Buffy’s head was thrown back, a look of sadistic pleasure marring her beautiful face. She had changed languages again with ease, a glow of red that refused to dim flashing behind her eyes. “Prepozen, čarovnica,” she rasped. “Prepozen, vampir. Ona dan. Ona dan!”

 

“Ummm…” Josh licked his lips, staring numbly at the bed. “That’s not normal.”

 

Donna tossed him a glare as she helped the broken vampire to his feet, not minding when he stumbled against the dresser. “Willow…” she said shakily, hand curling around Spike’s when he gave no indication to acknowledging her more than that first flash of recognition. “What happened?”

 

“Quirinias,” the Witch said evenly, her voice dead. There was no question. No doubt. Just a form of understanding that came so bluntly, so burdened with acceptance that Spike couldn’t help but wonder if she knew this would happen all along.

 

Josh’s gaze widened. “That wouldn’t be the same Quirinias who’s applying to be a god of the human-shaped variety, would it? The one that wanted Faith?”

 

The vampire shook his head, wiping at his eyes. “Buffy jumped in the way,” he rasped. “She was tryin’ to get to Faith…she jumped in the way. It hit her instead. Whatever that bastard was cookin’ up hit her instead.” He glanced to Willow, the ocean of his eyes crashing over the tide. “You can fix her, right? Make her Buffy again? There’s a way.”

 

Willow was shaking far too much to form a coherent thought, much less piece together a collective plan for eradicating a god from the thrashing body of her best friend. “I d-don’t know,” she stuttered. “W-we hadn’t th-thought that far ahead.”

 

“Well, why the bloody hell not?!”

 

Buffy snarled and attempted to leap forward. A quick blast of energy sent her back to the bed.

 

And just like that, the Witch’s uncertainty gave way to anger. A rational snap from fear to outrage. And she had a target to blame. “Because we just figured this out, Spike,” she snapped, eyes widening. “You guys rushed to Longwood and we had just figured this out!”

 

“Yeh? Don’ seem to recall you volunteerin’!” Spike gestured emphatically to the bed. “’F we hadn’t’ve gone, there would’ve been a psychotic Slayer high on god juice. You seein’ an alternative you fancy?”

 

“Better Faith than Buffy!”

 

The vampire sobered a bit at that, the glare behind his gaze fading. “We went ‘cause that’s what heroes do,” he said. “Buffy’s a hero. The world had already started to fall apart, an’ you gits were bleedin’ slow on the uptake. ‘F we’d’ve had this information two days ago, it’d’ve been stopped already.”

 

Willow’s eyes flashed dangerously. “Two days ago? Two days ago, you and Buffy were doing the prelude to a mating dance that we had to drag you away from. This isn’t our fault!”

 

The writhing Slayer on the bed offered a guttural growl in agreement, her body arching in pain. There were streaks of red embedded in her skin that hadn’t been there a minute ago. And suddenly, the values of how and why were no longer important. Buffy was raging an internal war with a god, and she could not win facing him alone.

 

Saving her was what mattered. It could happen. It had been done before.

 

“What was it?” Spike said, rapidly alternating prerogatives. “The Watchers mentioned it…there was that thing, right?”

 

“The thing?” Sam and Josh echoed simultaneously.

 

“Right. That thing that banished this bloke the last time around? Coven of witches an’ all that?” His eyes flashed. “Well, you’re a witch, aren’t you? Get the fuck to it!”

 

Willow blinked. “To what?”

 

“That thing! That…the rite…”

 

“Rite of Thrieve?” The redhead’s eyes widened when he nodded. “I can’t!”

 

“Why the bleeding fuck not?!”

 

She stared at him incredulously. “Shall I list off the reasons? How about the fact that I’m the only one here of the magically inclined variety. How about that the spell required a sorcerer and a warlock, and they aren’t the type notorious for keeping listings in the yellow pages. Not to mention my greatest magical accomplishment is getting a pencil to float without it going berserk!…or, you know…random kitchen appliances.” Willow shot a glance to Sam, who smiled sheepishly. She shook her head. “All of that and more…the Rite of Thrieve is designed for a god, Spike. This is still Buffy. I work something that powerful on her while she’s still Buffy, and it might kill her.”

 

The vampire just stared at her numbly. “She’s still Buffy? No, she can’t—”

 

“She is. I feel her. It’s strange but…her essence is still in there. She’s struggling. Whatever Quirinias was planning, he’s gonna have to defeat her to get to it, and I don’t mean arena style. He’s gonna kill every ounce of her that was ever Buffy without leaving her at all. A god can’t just go leaping into bodies like that. Not if he wants to survive.” A long, cold breath hissed through her lips. Then her eyes widened with horror and realization of her own words. The cold that struck the room was felt by all. “God, he’s going to kill her. Her body…she’s going to be—”

 

Spike jerked his arm free from Donna’s hold and stalked forward. “Bugger. That. Figure it out, Red.”

 

“I—”

 

“Hold on!” Sam yelped. “This isn’t Willow’s fault!”

 

“’S her bloody best friend an’ she’s jus’ gonna let her die!”

 

The vampire found himself propelled back into the dresser at the hand of a mightily pissed off witch. The redhead at the foot of the bed; one hand focused on Spike, the other on keeping Buffy from escaping her perimeter.

 

Donna again came to his side and gently helped him to his feet. Josh and Sam stood utterly flabbergasted.

 

Spike’s nose was bleeding. He didn’t care. Nor did he care for the gnashes at his throat or the claw marks around his middle. Didn’t care for anything. He had bled before and would bleed again. He bled so often.

 

The Slayer’s snarls and outbursts were reduced to throaty growls. She stretched and struggled against her bonds but nothing came of it. And without even bringing herself around to the realization, the Witch was exercising more power in one fluent move than she ever had thought to utilize before.

 

“I’m not going to let her die,” she said finally. “There has to be something we can do now. Right now before her condition worsens. I just need you to stay with me, okay?”

 

Spike sent her a cold glare. “Yeh,” he replied shortly. “’m stayin’. Get a bindin’ spell up around her, pet. An’ get me in it, too.”

 

“What?”

 

“’m stayin’. Stayin’ with her.” He nodded to the bed. “Anythin’ happens to her, an’ I’m there. Right there. ‘m not leavin’ her like this.”

 

The Witch’s eyes softened at that, her hand falling numbly to her side. “Spike,” she said gently, “she’ll kill you. And then she won’t…Quirinias is wrestling for control. Struggling…Buffy’s fighting now, but…he’s a god. And if we can’t…she’ll kill you.”

 

Spike stretched his arms out, waiting for her to take in the full bloody sight of him. It was a strange moment. A sort of full recognition of everything that had occurred in the past hour in gory detail. Even Sam and Josh stared at him numbly; aware that as a vampire, he would survive and had likely endured worse, but unable to look away all the same. That sort of morbid fascination that got people killed every day.

 

“’m stayin’ with her,” he said again. “Don’ give a bloody fuck what she does to me. All right?”

 

The Witch held his gaze for a minute longer, then nodded. There was no sense in arguing.

 

“All right,” she said. “Get on the bed with her. Donna, go get a washcloth and clean him. Sam, Josh…go tell Giles what’s happened.” Her eyes darkened slightly. “Try not to tell Xander. I don’t want him having a wig-fest until we know exactly what there is that we can do. I’m going to need some candles and a book. A-and, maybe…ummm…Giles?”

 

Spike arched a brow as he took the proffered washcloth. He flashed Donna a surprised look to which she merely shrugged with a smile. “My job,” she said simply, shrugging. “I basically play fetch with Josh all day.”

 

“Ah. Thanks, pet.”

 

Josh frowned. “Hey!”

 

The blonde shrugged unapologetically.

 

“Giles,” Sam said slowly, drawing their attention back to the redhead. “You need Giles?”

 

“Trust him more than Red to work mojo without sendin’ the world into some hellish alternate dimension,” the vampire snorted, wincing when the Witch turned to glare at him. “No offense, of course.”

 

“Of course,” she retorted dryly. “Why would I be offended by that?”

 

“Is she…ummm…” Donna eyed the seemingly sedate Slayer warily. “She kinda stopped all of a sudden.”

 

“That’s probably gonna happen again. Quirinias isn’t going to wanna remain dormant for long, and when he wakes up again, he’ll be pissed.” Willow glanced carefully to Spike as he dropped the thoroughly bloodied washcloth to the floor with a dejected sigh. “You’re sure you wanna do this?”

 

The vampire nodded without hesitation, slipping onto the bed. “Where she goes, I go,” he said. “’m not runnin’ out now when she needs me the most.”

 

Donna made an ‘aww’ noise that everyone wisely ignored.

 

Sam stepped forward. “Willow?”

 

“I have to stay here until the binding spell is forged,” she explained without looking at him. “Go, get Giles. Only Giles. We don’t have a lot of time.”

 

That was all the Deputy Communications Director needed. He was gone the next second, tugging Josh after him.

 

And though it could have possibly been the single most redundant thing to ask, for whatever reason, there was some universal law that spoke out against the name of silence. Deathly silence that whispered tidings of dread that none could shake. Silences like this. With a vampire, bloodied and wounded, curled on the bed with his girl next to him. His girl that sounded like a slumbering lion. Their hands linked in the middle—his so tight it would take a crowbar to pry them apart.

 

It was that need for something where nothing stood. That need.

 

“Don’t have a lot of time for what?” Donna found herself saying uselessly.

 

Willow glanced at her with a wry, humorless smile. “To learn how to banish a god,” she replied.

 

It would have been funny if she weren’t so serious.

 

*~*~*

 

Spike smiled kindly at Donna as she handed him a warmed cup of blood and dropped a couple of aspirin into his palm. The look she gave warned off any protest he had at the ready; he had tried persuading her that, being a vampire, antibiotics were rather ineffective to no avail. She wasn’t satisfied until she had doctored his wounds with disinfectant and given him enough medication to take down a small horse. And even then, convincing her that it wasn’t necessary for her to hover was no easy feat.

 

The kindness of people who had no reason to hate him was always surprising. Donna was no exception. Of everyone he had met since arriving in Natchez, she had easily slid into the number one rank.

 

“Thanks, pet,” he said, indulging a long drink. It surprised him when she didn’t flinch and turn away in disgust. Instead, she smiled compassionately and watched as though he was enjoying a glass of raspberry Kool-Aid. “You don’ have to stay here, you know.”

 

She knew. He had reminded her every five minutes.

 

“I want to stay, Spike,” she replied. “What if you need something? What if she needs something?”

 

“Could get messy in here, luv. Chances are it will.” The vampire glanced to the dozing blonde curled into his side. Willow had left the room about a half hour before after completing the binding spell, as well as dosing her up with a fairly powerful mystical sleeping narcotic that would hopefully keep her out for the next twelve hours. “She looks peaceful now, doesn’ she?”

 

Donna smiled. “Yes, she does.”

 

“You’d never know there’s a god in there. Lookin’ at her…Christ, you’d never know she’s…” His voice grew hoarse and his eyes watered. The look on his face dropped from conversational to despondent within a blink. A heartbreaking rendering of a man who had everything to lose. “He’s in there right now,” he said softly. “That fuckin’ bastard…’e’s in her body…’e’s in her sweet body right now. Muckin’ her up. Changin’ her. Makin’ her ready for…makin’ her ready to be a god.”

 

The room stretched with heavy silence. Donna waited a minute, then gambled her chances and patted his shoulder with whatever reassurance she had to offer. “You know,” she said thoughtfully. “There was a time not too long ago when, if anything went wrong…anything big, I’d’ve gone to Leo. Not that Leo’s really my next step. I should answer to Josh. I do answer to Josh. Well…” She offered a wane half-smile. “Well, I answer to Josh as much as I have to. He’s good for the conversation, and when there’s something really important and you get it in his head that it’s really important, he’s the best guy to go to. He’s my best friend—no questions asked. But that doesn’t mean he’s my first phone call. For woman things, there’s CJ. And even though I really don’t know Leo all that well…even though everything…I know enough to know that he’s the one to go to for the very big things.” Her eyes settled on the slumbering Slayer. “I guess this would be comparable to a terrorist threat or something. This is something I would take to Leo without going first to Josh or CJ. Saving Buffy would be his territory. If she was foreign policy or a threat against the President or something comparable to…anything, really…Leo would know what to do.”

 

Spike watched her with a soft, understanding smile. “What would Leo say ‘bout this?” he asked.

 

“I don’t know,” she replied. “That’s why I need Leo.” A sigh settled over her shoulders. “My point is…roundabout as it is, Giles is your Leo, as far as I can tell. He’s doing everything they can for her, Spike. They might not have the answers for you now, but they will. You should’ve seen Giles when he got back to the main house. He’s the Leo of your world. And he’s doing what Leo does…gathering the Staffers and assigning them tasks to get the problem taken care of. The thing is, he has us, too. He has more than Willow, Wes, Xander and Anya right now. He has all of us. And we’re all helping. Even Toby’s buried in research. And considering that Toby barely likes any of us, the fact that he’s helping even a little is kind of remarkable.”

 

“An’ what’s your job, pet?”

 

“I’ve decided that you need someone to keep you company.”

 

“Oh, you have?”

 

“Yes.”

 

Spike glanced again to Buffy, pulling her tighter against him. “’F she wakes up an’ it’s the other guy steerin’, you know things’ll get violent in here.”

 

Donna’s brows arched. “Well, you see…Willow did the binding spell, and since I’m on the outside, I’m not all that worried.”

 

He snickered.

 

She frowned. “How is it that I can hand you things while the spell’s intact, anyway?”

 

“’Cause the spell doesn’ apply to you, I’d wager.”

 

“You don’t think that my passing through the binding spell did anything to deactivate it, did you?”

 

“’F I say yes, will you go away an’ get some sleep?”

 

She glanced away contemplatively. “Nah. What if you get thirsty?”

 

“You have to be the only voluntary vampire nurse in the world.”

 

“There are involuntary ones?”

 

He shrugged. “Statistics would suggest…”

 

She grinned. “Now you sound like Josh.”

 

“Oi!” He was smiling, though. “The bloke’s lucky to have you, you know. Sittin’ with a vamp, bringin’ me blood…givin’ me aspirin when there’s no earthly reason for me to use it.” He shook his head. “You don’ even know me, pet.”

 

“I don’t need to.”

 

Spike quirked a brow. “No?”

 

Donna shook her head, gesturing to the girl in his arms. “Here’s what I know about you,” she said. “You’re a vampire. You’re evil. You’re soulless. You love her more than I’ve ever seen anyone love anyone. I knew it from the start, you know. Willow and I were teasing her in a diner because she had a crush on you.” Spike’s eyes sparkled with a hint of poignancy, a trembling sigh escaping his body. “I have a great sense about these things, you know.”

 

“’Course.”

 

“You love her very much. You love her in ways that make me think romance novelists know what they’re talking about.” She smiled at the warmth that flashed behind his gaze. “So yes, I am willing to sit here and keep you company. If she wakes up and starts snarling and speaking Latin…well, the President does that at least once a week, so it’s going to take more than that to scare me away.”

 

Spike chuckled lightly. “Yeh. All right, pet. Twisted my arm an’ all.”

 

“Yeah. Like you could do anything about it anyway.”

 

“Oh?”

 

“Well, aside the fact that I know you have a chip in your head and that you’re behind that binding spell, there’s the issue of you being a big softie, so I don’t think there’s anything you could’ve done about it, anyway.”

 

He scowled. “Am not.”

 

“Are too.”

 

“Wasn’ always.”

 

“Probably were. Are in denial.” Donna shrugged. “I’m going to read now.”

 

“Right.”

 

“Abigail Adams. One of the first feminists in American history.”

 

“Fascinatin’.”

 

“At least it’s not the cat.”

 

Spike’s eyes rolled his eyes skyward. “Donna!”

 

She grinned, opening the book she had toted into the room and settling it comfortably in her lap. “Fine,” she replied. Then, softer, she added: “Joshua.”

 

The vampire glared at her ineffectively. She was reading. For now, she was reading.

 

And he had a god in his arms.

 

A god that could well rip off his arms when she awoke.

 

*~*~*

 

The moment she shifted, the moment before her eyes fluttered open, he knew it was her that he held. Buffy. The Slayer. Panting heavily. Drenched in sweat. Eyes wide and hazed with apology and more emotion than he had ever seen buried within the hazel glow of her warmth.

 

A wealth of emotion clogged his insides and he had to wan off the tears that stung his vision.

 

For a few minutes, she was here. She was here, awake, in his arms.

 

Thank God. Here. They would have seclusion. Donna had just fallen asleep. And he could be with her for whatever time the Powers gave him.

 

“Spike.” The sound of his name lulled the air lazily. A wrenching strain in her voice that tore at his heart. She tugged him closer, her face crumbling when she met his eyes. “Spike…I’m sorry.”

 

God.

 

“Don’t be, baby,” he replied swiftly, not bothering the tedious game of playing dumb. He brushed a kiss across her temple. “’S fine. You’ll be fine. We’ll make it. I bloody well promise.”

 

She snuggled him closer. And when her next words tickled the air, he thought every last part of him had shattered without appeal.

 

“I’m scared.”

 

She knew. God, she knew.

 

“I know,” he whispered, because there was nothing else to say. “I’m here, baby. I’m not leavin’ your side.”

 

“Promise?”

 

Spike shuddered and bit back the incursion of tears that were never far from spilling. He wanted to bask in their fear together. Wanted to cling to her and share tears, relate their similar fears of the future. Of the future that just a few hours before had been so bright, even if it was impossible.

 

He would do anything to share her fear. But he couldn’t. Right now, he had play the part of their strength. He had to shoulder it alone, and he would for her. He would forget his fear and help her through hers. He had to.

 

“I promise, sweetheart. With all my heart.”

 

Even if he had never been more terrified.

 

Chapter Thirty-Five

 

 

“Donna!”

 

Sam jolted as the outcry tore through the silence that had sat uninterrupted for nearly two hours and sent a pointed gaze in Josh’s direction. The man was on the floor, surrounded by a mass of open, aged books and looked as though he had not even smelled a cup of coffee in ten years. “She’s with Spike,” he said, drawing his friend’s attention back to the present. To his credit, the Deputy Chief of Staff had lasted longer than Xander and Anya. Conversation had dwindled about four hours earlier, and those that had survived the night without succumbing to sleep were scattered in respective corners around the house.

 

Josh blinked at him groggily. “Huh?”

 

“Donna.”

 

“What about her?”

 

“She’s with Spike. Well, she’s with Spike and Buffy.”

 

“I know that.”

 

Sam arched a brow. “You just yelled for her.”

 

“Oh.” The other man frowned and ran a hand through his messy curls. “Force of habit. Anyway…what?”

 

“Did you find a thing?”

 

“What?”

 

“You yelled for Donna…does that mean you’ve found a thing?” Sam sighed and performed the routine battle with gravity as he wobbled to his feet. “Typically when you yell for Donna, it’s because you’ve found a thing.”

 

Josh blinked again rapidly. “Oh. Right. Yeah, I found this thing.”

 

“What is it?”

 

The Deputy Chief of Staff stared at him numbly, looking to focus all his energy in not falling over. “What?”

 

“What did you find, Josh?”

 

“Oh. Yeah. This thing.” He held up the book to his face so that the pages only shied his nose by an inch or so. “Says…Quasimodo or whatever his name is has, among other things, the ability to bend the fabric of reality and has been known to…sire gods? Whatever the hell that means.” He set the text down again, swaying against his exhaustion. “I dunno what the hell I just said, but it sounds like something that’s not good.”

 

“Yeah.” Sam frowned and navigated to his feet, wheedling the book away from his friend without much of a struggle. “Where did you find it?”

 

“’Bout a third of the way down on the odd-numbered page.”

 

The Deputy Communications Director grinned wryly. “You know,” he said thoughtfully, “it is okay to sleep, Josh.”

 

A pause. “Hmmm?”

 

“I’m just saying, you look like you can use some sleep.”

 

“I’m fine.”

 

Sam chuckled. “Yeah.”

 

“Perfectly fine. Could go a few more hours.”

 

“Sure. All I’m saying is, it would likely be better if you were more alert while looking for this thing.” He shook his head and pivoted to return to his seat, then stopped abruptly as his eyes scanned the passage Josh had pointed out once again. Perhaps it was better to address this now before he got comfortable. “You know,” he said, turning to his friend once more, “I was being serious. You really should get some rest.”

 

Josh blinked. “How’s it that you’re still all...perky?”

 

“Because something tells me that this might be more important than beating the Republican leadership in committee.”

 

“Don’t be so hasty.” The other man nodded, though, and yawned. “I’m perfectly fine.”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“I am.”

 

“Josh?”

 

“What?”

 

“Go to sleep.”

 

The Deputy Chief of Staff nodded and yawned again. “Okay.” And, without another word, he promptly toppled over, dead to the world.

 

Sam smiled slightly and cast a hand through his rumpled locks, adjusting his reading glasses. “Well,” he said, “that was easy.” He turned without lifting his head, making his way through the eerily silent halls that quaked with the first steps of morn to find where Willow had settled with her own research.

 

It didn’t take long. The strains of formality between their groups had dwindled to practically nothing over the past few days. The doors to almost every room were wide open in the expectation of midnight visitors. Through the shadows of early dawn, he could see Xander lying open-mouthed on his back across the bed, Anya on the floor next to him. Her arm was stretched over the mattress, head resting against her boyfriend’s just slightly. She had an open book in her lap.

 

The only room that was shut off from the rest of the world was Wesley’s, and Sam could hear the small rustle of British quarrel from two former Watchers who refused to sleep.

 

He found Willow curled on her bed, her head cradled with a volume of open, ancient text. She had another book clutched to her chest, and another was draped over her hip. She looked peaceful, if not exhausted with worry. And too adorable for words.

 

A tender smile crossed his lips and he dropped his own test to his side as he approached the bed. She had literally worn herself out. And though he hated to disturb her, there were some matters that simply would not wait.

 

“Willow.”

 

There was a slight shift and she mumbled something that he didn’t catch.

 

“Willow?” He drew in a deep breath and knelt beside the bed, tenderly brushing a few wayward strands of hair from her forehead. “Willow, I need you to wake up, now.”

 

“Mmmm.”

 

“Willow…”

 

His voice elevated just a few notches, and that was enough. She finally began to blink to awareness. Her eyes foggy with sleep, hand clutching at the book at her breast with sudden fervor. “I wasn’t asleep!” she blurted before she was even aware of who had awakened her. “I was just…” Then she saw him, and her eyes softened. “It’s you.”

 

He smiled. “It’s me.”

 

She nodded and settled back, smiling drowsily. “I wasn’t asleep,” she said.

 

“Of course you weren’t.”

 

“I was resting my eyes.”

 

“Quite comfortably, from the looks of things.”

 

A scowl crossed her face and she sat up with sudden fervor. “I wasn’t sleeping,” she said. “This is how I research. I sit, I’m surrounded by books that say many important and interesting things, and—”

 

“You sleep.”

 

“I wasn’t sleeping!”

 

“Willow, Josh found a thing.”

 

The semi-alert teasing persona immediately dropped from her façade, and she was fully awake the next minute. “What? What is it?”

 

“Well, nothing about how to help Buffy, but it’s something that wasn’t mentioned before.” He extended the book for her viewing. “Quirinias has the ability to create gods, it looks like. Aside being one himself. What Josh didn’t see was the subtext.” Her eyes immediately leapt to the aforementioned text. “It seems he might be the same as an African god called Buku, who was at times worshipped as a goddess. I don’t know exactly what this means, but I think it might be a good idea to start cross-referencing other noted gods in history to see what other cultures might have called this guy.”

 

Willow licked her lips and nodded, then frowned, shoved herself to her feet and glared at him. “Wait. No. No, this shouldn’t be important. Because we’re gonna find a thing and it’s going to be okay. And we won’t have to find out what happens if Quirinias becomes corporeal, because it’s not gonna happen. Right? Why are you wasting time looking up stuff like this?”

 

Sam frowned his surprise and gave her a long look. “I…I didn’t…Willow, I know that we’re going to help Buffy, but we have to be prepared for the alternative.”

 

She shook her head. “No. I—”

 

“When we’re running an election, we don’t bank that we’re going to win no matter how good our numbers are. If you don’t believe me, Josh and Toby will vouch. We have to know what to expect if something really bad happens.” He held up the book again. “And if this guy’s bad enough to be named in other cultures and listed as one of the gods that can create other gods, I’m thinking we have even more incentive to get Buffy thoroughly exorcised.”

 

There was a long, silent moment.

 

“First,” she began, a sharp edge to her tone that she had never taken with him. The rapidity of it all nearly blew him off his feet. This was the last thing he had expected. “Buffy’s my best friend. I don’t need incentive more than that. Secondly, don’t use the world exorcised. I’m not a priest, this isn’t a 70s horror movie…and if I was a priest, I wouldn’t be, ‘cause I’m Jewish and priests really, really aren’t.”

 

His eyes widened, hands coming up in protest. “Whoa, girl. Calm down. I’m just saying—”

 

Willow gave him another long, hard look before she sighed and glanced to the floor, tension rolling off her shoulders. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I’m just…this thing just happened, and I’m so…” A deep breath. “You know if anything happens…if we find anything, it’s going to be up to me to fix her. I’ve never had to do that. I’ve never been the one who saves the world. I keep needing to talk to Buffy, and Buffy’s the one who might bring on the apocalypse.” She shook her head with a quivering sigh. “I just can’t let myself believe that I will fail, you know? And I can’t sleep on the job. I’m supposed to be researching and I was—”

 

Sam grasped her hand and tugged her forward to silence her with a kiss. It wasn’t much he had to offer, but she softened in his arms and quivered relief into his mouth. Willow’s kisses were drops of honey. Like discovering candy that was sweeter than anything he had ever before had the privilege of sampling.

 

It was meant to be a short, loving kiss, but at first taste he knew he was lost. There was something about her purity, her sweetness that hooked him at the slightest touch. In seconds, the loom of the god that brought the apocalypse on his heels and everything else that had everyone choked with tension they could not swallow—all of it was forgotten. The book in his grasp toppled to the ground, his hands coming to cup her face with gentle veneration. And for a few blissful seconds, there was no world around them, no worries to distract them. Nothing to keep them from the simple grace that was this.

 

And as all perfection must, theirs faded and the world returned. They pulled away with reluctance but the sort of haste that came with the importance of things bigger than themselves. That instant of guilt that came along with momentarily forgetting what was important.

 

He smiled when it took her a few seconds to compose herself, despite the nature of the circumstance. “Well, that wasn’t planned, but I can’t say I disapprove.”

 

She grinned girlishly. “You really know how to romance a girl, Sam,” she said, clearing her throat before she bent over to collect the book he had dropped. “Kiss the life out of her, then scientifically explain how the kiss itself wasn’t scheduled, but you’re glad for the sudden burst of creativity.”

 

The smile faded just like that. “I didn’t mean—”

 

“I know.” She kissed his cheek with a grin. “I was just saying.”

 

“Well, I got a smile out of you. My morning’s already made.” A slow sigh escaped his lips. “You shouldn’t deprive yourself of sleep. I know you’re stressed, but you’re not alone. We’re all here to help.”

 

She quirked a brow, taking in the ragged appearance of him. “Have you slept yet?”

 

He paused with a frown. “No…?”

 

A grumble. “How are you so perky?”

 

Sam shrugged. “I work for the President. I’m used to these hours.”

 

“I’m in college.”

 

“Yeah, I think I win.”

 

“I don’t know. My psych professor’s kinda scary.”

 

He waved his hand demonstratively. “Congress.”

 

“Okay. You win.” She grinned a bit. “But still, you shouldn’t be lecturing me on my sleeping habits if you’re not getting any rest, either.”

 

“I’m used to it,” he said with a weary smile. “Listen, I’m going to go downstairs and start breakfast for the Millers. Don’t want them to worry with it, especially with the night they had with the light show and the town finally realizing what’s going on around here. Then we’re going to sit down and go over these books with a hot meal and good coffee and figure out what it is we’re supposed to do, okay?”

 

The redhead arched a brow and shook her head. “No. You’re not going to be any good to me if you pass out at noon. Try to get a little sleep. I’ll make the breakfast and the coffee and start going over some new stuff that you’ll be all ready to help me with when you’ve had a few hours of rest.”

 

“Willow—”

 

“Really. It’s, what…” She glanced around the room for a clock and nearly toppled over when the time stared back at her. “Good lord, it’s almost five-thirty. You’ve been up all this time?”

 

“I know. I look cheery, don’t I?”

 

“Are you the only one up?”

 

Sam shook his head. “Giles and Wesley were talking when I came in. Josh stayed up until about twenty minutes ago until I told him to go to sleep and he collapsed on command. I’m pretty sure that Spike is still up.”

 

“Why?”

 

“The light in the townhouse was on. Besides, if I was in his position, I wouldn’t be able to sleep if you gave me a sedative.”

 

Willow smiled and neared to brush a bold kiss against his lips. “You’re sweet.”

 

He grinned. “You are not wrong in this.”

 

“You’re also going to sleep.” She stepped away and moved around him for the door. “I’ll be up around noon to wake you and get you back, okay?”

 

“Where do you want me to go?”

 

A coy grin crossed her face. “You can use my bed.”

 

“Well, if I knew that, I would have tried to go to sleep a long time ago.”

 

“Good, but I fell asleep on Donna’s bed, so that would’ve been a lost cause.” Willow heaved a sigh and shook her head. “I’m going downstairs now.”

 

“Yeah. I just have this thing.” There was a deep breath and a sudden drop of their pleasant, however nervous banter. Her eyes met his anxiously. “I know that this is…it’s your life. I know that saving the world is what you’re used to. And I know the level of stress in your life must make the stress in mine look like child’s play. Which, I might add, is no small feat of victory. But I was just wondering…”

 

Her gaze had gone wide with expectation, suddenly even more nervous than he thought she could become. And almost immediately, he understood the nature of her misapprehension and started with a tense laugh. “I want this,” he reassured her. “I really want this to work. I want to continue seeing you after all of this is over. I just want to know…is this the way it’s going to be?”

 

“Is what the way it’s going to be?”

 

“This.” Sam stretched his arms expressively. “Buffy’s possessed by a god and you keep using the word apocalypse. Apocalypse, by definition, meaning no more world and it’s somehow my fault because I read a few words out of a book that no one had seen in centuries. Is this the way it is? Will I have to worry about you every second?”

 

“No.”

 

“No?”

 

“No. No to me, yes to everything else.” She smiled humorlessly. “This happens. It happens a lot. The first year I knew Buffy, the world nearly ended. Same the second and the third—well, the Hellmouth opened once and then there was an apocalypse on the third, so really…we average an apocalypse every year. This being the fourth, the fact that we’re facing another one right now? Not really surprising. So yes. With me comes the added bonus of the annual apocalypse. The thing is…now that you know it happens every year, and that it’s been happening every year...does that really change anything?”

 

Sam licked his lips and stepped forward, expelling a deep breath. He kept his eyes trained on hers, because it was important that she know exactly how deeply he meant what he was about to say. “No. It doesn’t change anything. The world turns, the sun rises and sets, and evidently, unspeakable demons try to destroy everything every few months. And I like you, and I want to make sure that you know that I’m all right with this, because something is going on here and I want it to continue after we’re through in Natchez.”

 

Her eyes warmed and the tension in her body rolled off with smooth pliancy. “Good,” she said.

 

“But why can’t I worry about you?”

 

“Oh you can. Just won’t do any good.”

 

He quirked a brow.

 

“I’m a witch,” she explained, shrugging. “Can pretty much take care of myself.”

 

“And that’s the same reason you’re so worried about a god, because you’re a witch and you can take care of yourself.”

 

“Shut up. And you need to sleep.”

 

“I really don’t.”

 

“Well, I’m saying you do. So go to sleep.”

 

Sam smiled. “Okay.”

 

“Okay.”

 

“You better go now.”

 

“I’m going.” She turned around with a note of finality and strode toward the door. And, before leaving him in his own company, she tossed over her shoulder, “I’ll be back at noon. Be ready to study.”

 

“Yes, ma’am.”

 

She chuckled but didn’t turn to face him. And was gone within the next second.

 

The Deputy Communications Director smiled and turned to the bed. The concept of sleep was somewhat beyond him. He had gotten through that part of the night where one felt like one could topple at any instant and was to the point of slaphappy where sleep was on the brink of being tackled and yet he felt wide awake.

 

There was so much riding on what they could dig out of those old books. Spike had not left Buffy’s side, and would not if Sam could read any of how much the vampire loved his Slayer. It struck him odd that it took stepping outside the realm of reality to find something that was allegedly true in the world he had grown up in. But even with the marriage of the President and the First Lady, something he aspired to in his own life, there was nothing like the dedication he had seen in just these few days with the demon who was not supposed to love.

 

No. He was grateful for it, but he knew as well as Willow that there was no chance of sleep.

 

*~*~*

 

The sun had been in the sky for about seven hours. He didn’t see it; didn’t need to have his eyes open to feel it. Didn’t even need to sense the warmth that crept through closed windows and touched the curtains in the back room of the townhouse. His eyes had been fastened shut for the better part of morning, and now that the day was stretching into afternoon, that small nagging at the back of his head was growing louder and more insistent. She was in his arms, soft and warm. Peaceful. For the moment, she was peaceful. She had slept the night through without shrieking. Without ripping through his heart, which no longer required bloodshed. She had slept.

 

It was afternoon. Donna was in the other room, watching television and trying to not make too much noise. She thought him asleep as well.

 

As though he could sleep while Buffy was dying.

 

A trembling sigh thundered through his body and he clutched her tighter, burying his face in her hair.

 

God.

 

He should have known this was going to happen. He should have sensed it.

 

For a few hours, he had been so happy. They had been so, so happy. Happy in ways that creatures of the night were not allowed. Happy in ways he had never known in life. Never known with Drusilla. Never known were possible until he knew the warmth of her embrace.

 

Chancing fate. It was his fault. All of it.

 

And Buffy was stirring.

 

Spike blinked and his body tensed. Buffy was stirring.

 

Here we go.

 

He sat up, pulling her with him so that she was cradled in his arms. “Buffy?” he murmured, brushing a kiss into her hair. “Sweetheart? I’m here. Do you need anything?”

 

There was nothing for a minute but the normal happenstance of waking after a long night’s rest. She crooned, mumbled, rubbed her cheek against his shoulder, and yawned a little.

 

Spike closed his eyes painfully and kissed her forehead. “Kitten? Are you—”

 

Then it happened. She tensed, her grip on him tightening; her nails digging into his skin. Her head jerked back and he saw her eyes.

 

Her gold eyes that swam in blood.

 

“Oh God.”

 

Then she screamed. A shrill, piercing rip through the air that tore through his heart.

 

She screamed and screamed.

 

And wouldn’t stop.

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