I fall to Pieces
By Azrielle

Disclaimer: I own NOTHING Joss is king of the Buffyverse. Lucky bastard.

Rating: NC-17. Please do not read if you are not old enough, it contains GRAPHIC sex scenes. You have been warned. If this offends you please go elsewhere.

Spike is a Vampire so of course there will be biting.

Feedback: YES PLEASE!!! You can send it to azrielle6969@yahoo.com.

Archiving: Yeah no problem, just let me know where it’s going.

Happy reading.

Summary: This is a SPUFFY story with mention of B/A, Angel told Buffy to move on, she has an idea to make him jealous and want her back. Let’s just see what happens.

I fall to pieces

I fall to pieces
Each time I see you again
I fall to pieces
How can I be just your friend?

You want me to act like we've never kissed
You want me to forget (to forget)
Pretend we never met (never met)
And I've tried and I've tried
But I haven't yet
You walk by and I fall to pieces.

I fall to pieces
Each time someone speaks your name
I fall to pieces
Time only adds to the flame.

You tell me to find someone else to love
Someone who'll love me too (love me too)
The way you used to do (used to do)
But each time I go out with someone new
You walk by and I fall to pieces.

You walk by and I fall to pieces...

Buffy watched him walk away with tears slowly falling down her face. They turned to gut wrenching sobs the further away from her house he got.

“I've been thinking... about our future. And the more I do, the more I feel like us, you and me being together, is unfair to you.
You deserve more. You deserve something outside of darkness. You should be with someone who can take you into the light. Someone who can make love to you.”

”I don't care about that.”

”You will. And children.”

”Children? Can you say jumping the gun? I killed my goldfish.”

”Today. But you have no idea how fast it goes, Buffy. Before you know it, you'll want it all, a normal life.”

”I'll never have a normal life.”

“I'm sorry. Buffy, you know how much I love you. It kills me to say this.”

”Then don't. Who are you to tell me what's right for me? You think I haven't thought about this?”

”Have you, rationally?”

”No. No, of course not. I'm just some swoony little schoolgirl, right?”

“Don't.”

”Don't what? Don't love you? I'm sorry. You know what? I didn't know that I got a choice in that. I'm never gonna change. I can't change. I want my life to be with you.”

”I don't.”

”You don't want to be with me? I can't believe you're breaking up with me.”

Her and Angels’ last conversation kept playing over and over in her head. Drying her tears she grabbed her slaying bag. Throwing it over her shoulder she made her way out into the night.

‘Who the hell does he think he is not giving me any choice in the matter? How could he just walk away if he loved me so much?’ She had gotten past the tears and bitterness, now came the anger.

‘I need to meet a guy and flaunt him in front of Angel so he realizes how wrong he was and wants me back.’ Now that she had a plan she was feeling a little better. ‘Not much out tonight.’ She realized with a hint of bitterness. ‘Great. When I need something to take my frustrations out on there’s nothing around.’

Suddenly she felt the tingle that signaled ‘vampire.’ She glanced around and saw him. He was crawling out of a grave. Not in the mood for her usual banter she punched and kicked until he was just a writhing bloody moaning mass of flesh huddled on the ground.

Realizing what she had done filled her with horror and she quickly dusted him.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

“That's my gem.” Spike growled softly pointing to the ring adorning her perfectly manicured finger.

“Fine…take it if that’s all that matters to you.” Harmony cried yanking the ring from her finger and throwing it at him.

“Gonna go find me the slayer.” Spike almost purred. He placed the ring on his finger humming softly to himself.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

“Nice to meet you. I’m Buffy.” She said introducing herself to the cute guy that may just have Angel running back to Sunnydale to declare his undying love.

“Parker…” He smiled extending his hand. They talked for a few minutes until Parker glanced towards the school. “Oh…there’s my girlfriend…I’ve gotta go before she gets seriously pissed…see you around Buffy…”

Buffy smiled back. “See ya…” When he was out of her line of sight Buffy’s smile turned to a scowl. ‘Asshole had a girlfriend. How the hell am I supposed to meet a guy to make Angel jealous when they all have girlfriends?’ She didn’t notice the bleached blonde vampire coming up behind her.

“Birds singing, squirrels making lots of rotten little squirrels. Sun beaming down in a nice, non-fatal way. It's very exciting, I can't wait to see if I freckle.” Spike murmured smiling.

“How?” Turning around to see him she stared unbelievingly. ‘How can he be here standing in the sunlight and not burning to a crisp?’

He took a step closer; Buffy grabbed her stake and moved towards him, dropping her books and bag on the ground. She punched him hard, he punched her back. She flew a few feet and landed on the ground. He tried to jump on her; she kicked him back and got herself into a fighting stance again. He staggered, but jumped forward again, Her stake embedding itself in his chest where his heart should be.

”Oh, do it again. It tickles. You know, in a good way.” He smirked.

Buffy withdrew the stake and he healed, she stared at him in shock, her eyes wide, mouth hanging open.

”The gem of amara.” He grinned taking a step closer to her. He held up his hand so she could see the ring, and then backhanded her. She hit the ground again. “Official sponsor, of my kicking your pretty arse.”

Buffy looked up at him from her position on the ground, noticing for the first time the huge bulge in his jeans. “You’re getting off on this…” She said disgustedly.

“Oh no luv…not getting off, just love the rush of fighting you…you’re so powerful and sexy, can’t help my manly bits taking notice…can’t blame a bloke for noticing the way you move…the way you smell…the way the sun makes you glow…”

“You…you’re attracted to me?” She asked uncertainly. Her heart rate increased, blood pumping faster. ‘Perfect. This is perfect…there is no one Angel wouldn’t want me with more than Spike.’

“Have to be blind not to be luv…you may be the Slayer, but you are one sexy creature…can appreciate that. Always thought you were sexy since the first time I saw you dancing in the Bronze.”

‘He has? Is that why he’s never killed me?’ Suddenly she was on her feet lunging for him. Grabbing him by the lapels of his duster she pulled him closer to her. Her mouth collided with his and she kissed him roughly, tongue demanding entrance into his mouth.

His arms wound around her and pulled her closer, she could feel his hardness pressed up against her stomach. “What the bloody hell…” Spike said pulling back and searching her face.

“I…I’m sorry…I just…it’s been so long since anyone’s touched me…” She said softly, taking a few steps back. ‘Come on Spike…I need you to want this…I need him back…being with you would absolutely ensure it.’

“Has it now?” He smirked. “Betcha I could make you shiver deliciously…” His tongue curled behind his teeth and he looked her up and down.

“Could you? Could you make it good for me? Angel couldn’t even make me cum.” Looking innocently at him Buffy grinned inwardly. ‘Kay big with the lying but that’s gonna do it. Spike can’t back away from a challenge. Especially where Angel’s concerned.’

“Come on.” He grabbed her hand pulling her along behind him. Her belongings, forgotten on the ground, she followed him willingly. “If this is some kind of trick slayer I swear…”

“No…no trick Spike. I really do want you…can’t you tell?” She asked. She watched him. He half turned, her hand still clenched in his and inhaled deeply. Obviously satisfied with the scent he picked up he flashed her a predatory grin and pulled her along beside him once again.

‘He doesn’t need to know that fighting always makes me horny and hungry. I’ll just let him think that it was him. All him.’ She glanced over at him. “Where are we going?”

“You’ll see.” He glanced over at her. ‘This is wrong. This is so bloody wrong. I know it. But I can’t help myself. Angel couldn’t satisfy his one true love I sure as bloody hell will and rub it deliciously in his face.’ His grin grew.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Song used I fall to pieces Patsy Cline

“The mansion? You brought me to Angels’ mansion?” She asked unbelievingly.

“Wot of it Slayer? There are some really nice furnishings here…would you rather go to my crypt? My bed’s not as cozy as this.”

“Oh. Didn’t think of that and it’s not like I could take you to my house either…or my dorm room. Willow would totally get the wiggins, then she’d tell Xander and Giles…” She frowned worry etching itself onto her face.

“You sure you want to do this Slayer?” Spike dropped her hand to let them into the house.

“Wh…what do you mean?” She asked suddenly nervous. Her heart was hammering in her chest her breath coming a little faster, and yet she followed him inside.

“Just a question Luv. Giving you one chance to change your mind.”

“Spike…I…I want to do this I just…no biting ok? Please?” She cringed. ‘Ok now I sound like a scared little girl.’

“No biting.” Spike repeated. “I’m a vampire Luv. T’s what I do…”

“I know but…I…” Spike silenced her with a kiss. His body molding against hers, arms snaking around her body to draw her closer.

Buffy moaned into the kiss. She could feel herself getting wetter. ‘Just from a kiss?’ She asked herself. She felt him undoing the buttons on the front of her shirt. Her hands went to his shirt and un-tucked it from his jeans. Her fingers took on a mind of their own, trailing under his shirt to touch his cool flesh.

Spike growled low in his throat at the feel of her warm hands dancing across his skin. He finished unbuttoning her shirt and pushed it off of her shoulders. Hands winding around her back he quickly dispatched her bra. He could feel her heat pressing into him, warming him.

Buffy pushed his duster off of his shoulders and let it fall to the floor behind him. She tugged impatiently at his shirt trying to pull it off. Spike backed up a step ad helped her pull the constricting garment off. He reached down and adjusted the painful hardness in his jeans.

He turned hungry eyes to her exposed flesh. Taking in the sight of her small pert breasts he licked his lips hungrily. Leaning forward he captured one rosy tip in his mouth. Buffy arched into him and moaned. He brought one hand up to the other breast and massaged it gently, rolling her nipple between his skilled fingers.

Buffy was trembling with desire. Her fingers threaded into his hair, holding him against her chest.

Spike chucked low in his throat. He glanced up at her. “Greedy little minx aren’t you?” He asked.

Buffy met his eyes, her own glazed over with lust. “Don’t stop. Why are you stopping?” She asked.

“Just want to move us to a bed luv. I’ve got plans for you…not gonna stop…” Spike scooped her up and carried her into the closest bedroom.
Laying her gently on the bed he couldn’t take his eyes off of her naked flesh. ‘God she’s beautiful.’

Becoming self-conscious under his unwavering gaze Buffy started to bring her hands towards her breasts. Brought out of his daze by her movement Spike reached for her hands stilling them at her sides. “Don’t cover yourself Luv. Just want to get a look-see, never seen anything so beautiful.”

Buffy blushed down to her roots, her eyes strayed to his chest and absorbed the sight of his perfectly chiseled alabaster skin. ‘Wow. Didn’t know he was hiding a body like that under all that leather.’

Spike crawled onto the bed with her and lay down beside her. Not saying a word his hand reached out to touch her breast. Cupping it firmly he leaned forward and flicked his tongue over her sensitized flesh. Buffy hissed in response, back arching off the bed to bring her chest closer to his mouth.

Spike’s other hand slipped underneath her, drawing her closer. His mouth moved down her body, licking and nipping at her skin.

Buffy let out an involuntary shudder of pleasure she felt his mouth press a soft chaste kiss to her stomach. His hands were already at the zipper of her jeans. He popped the button and unzipped her slowly. Buffy closed her eyes and gave over to the sensations he was creating in her body.

Suddenly his mouth was gone. She opened her eyes. He was pulling off her socks and shoes. Buffy watched him. He was concentrating on the task, not watching her face. He looked up when he was finished and noticed her eyes on him. Going back to his task of removing her clothing Spike gently tugged her jeans down her hips and leaving only her pink lace panties on.

Buffy arched her hips off of the bad to make it easier on him. She continued to watch him the lust in his eyes was making her wetter by the second. Spike tossed her jeans in a heap on the floor. Picking up one foot he placed a chaste kiss on the inside of her ankle. His eyes met hers briefly before he continued. He placed wet open-mouthed kisses in two-inch intervals up her leg, finishing each kiss with a gentle swipe of his tongue.

When his lips reached the halfway point on her thigh he looked up into her eyes. He watched her face as he inhaled deeply.

She watched his eyes flicker from the most intense blue she had ever see to yellow and back again. “Your smell…god Buffy it’s driving me wild.” He growled softly. His mouth descended on her flesh again, this time starting on the other thigh and moving his way downward.

‘He called me Buffy…’ She closed her eyes again.

Spike gently pushed her thighs apart. Leaning down he buried his nose in her panty-covered center and inhaled deeply. One of his arms snaked around her waist and pulled her closer to him, arching her back off of the bed. Spike’s hands moved in search of the ties on the sides of her panties. He tugged gently, revealing her nakedness to him. Two fingers parted her moist center.

Buffy lay there flushed with embarrassment as he parted her folds. Embarrassment soon turned to desire when his tongue invaded her slippery folds. “Ohhhh”

“Like that do you kitten?” He inquired, taking the opportunity to slip a couple of fingers into her heated passage. She was panting softly. Spike curled his fingers, reaching deeply inside her he flicked his tongue expertly against her clit over and over until he had her writhing beneath him.

Buffy felt it building. She could feel her muscles clenching in anticipation of release. Her hips moved slowly, uncertainly against his skilled mouth and fingers. “Uhh…oh god…yessssss”

Spike quickened his minstrations. He knew she was close. ‘Tastes so bloody good. Can’t wait to have her wrapped around my cock squirmin’ like she is…’ Her hips were moving faster. Growling softly he felt her cum.

Buffy screamed and thrashed wildly as a powerful orgasm overtook her senses. He kept licking and sucking gently until she slowly came back to herself.

She lay there contentedly. Spike withdrew his fingers and slowly licked her cum from them, savoring the taste.

He undid his jeans and pulled them down his legs while he toed off his boots. Sliding the jeans the rest of the way off he left them piled on the floor. Crawling up her body he only stopped to place gentle kisses on her flushed skin. “Love the way you taste…” He murmured positioning himself between her parted thighs his cock mere inches from her soaked core.

Buffy’s bleary eyes opened and locked with his. “Wow…I…just wow…”

“That was just the beginning luv. I plan on pleasuring you for a long long time…” He purred. Leaning down he kissed her tenderly, his hand cupping her breast and massaging it softly.

“Can I…” She blushed hotly. “I want to…” She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. ‘Just say it.’ She opened her eyes again. “I want you in my mouth…”

“Yeah?” It was Spike’s turn to pant. She grinned, knowing he didn’t even need to breathe. She pushed against his shoulder gently. Spike rolled over onto his back.

Buffy took him in her hand, she started to stroke him gently. “Harder luv…please…” He begged rocking his hips in time with her hand.

Buffy’s hand tightened slightly and she began to move her hand faster. She turned to look as his cock and her eyes widened in surprise. ‘He is huge.’ Licking her lips in anticipation she leaned forward and swiped her tongue along the weeping tip.

Spike let out a cry of pleasure, his hips shooting off of the bed caused him to be sucked further into her mouth. Buffy moved her mouth up and down his length taking in as much as she could. She could feel saliva running down her hand as she continued to stroke him.

One of Spike’s hands found it’s way into her hair and stroked it in time with her sucking. “Love to watch you suck me off…” He moaned

Buffy’s eyes flicked to his face. She pulled her mouth away for a second. “Am I doing it right?” She asked.

“Mmhmm doin’ great luv.” Spike said rocking his hips in time with the hand still attached to his cock. Buffy’s lips once again wrapped around his cock. Her free hand rested gently on his stomach.

She felt the fingers of Spike’s free hand trying to get a grip on the hand she was resting against his stomach. She moved it slightly and he entwined his fingers with hers. ‘He’s holding me hand?’

“Buffy…luv…gotta stop…” He said softly.

“Did I do something wrong?” She asked glancing up at his face. His eyes were shut tightly and his face was contorted. ‘He looks like he’s in pain.

“No luv. I just don’t want to…you’re gonna make me cum if you keep doing what you’re doing…” He sat up a little, his hand reaching for hers to still it. “I want…I need to be inside you…been dreaming about it luv…please…”

She could see the desire…the hunger in his eyes. Buffy was overwhelmed with the expression in his eyes. ‘He’s been dreaming about me?’

Spike leaned forward and cupped her cheek in his palm. He brought his mouth to hers and kissed her hungrily. His tongue sought entrance into her mouth, Buffy readily let him, her arms entangling around his neck. Spike pulled her into his lap.

She felt his cock brush against her thigh and Buffy moaned. She let him lay her back slowly onto the bed, keeping her eyes locked with his.

Positioning himself between her parted thighs Spike rubbed the head of his cock slowly against her slick pussy, building the tension in her body. She felt him slowly slide into her slick passage and she closed her eyes.

Spike stopped moving and waited for her to open her eyes. “I want to look into your eyes luv.” He murmured starting to push forward once again.

Buffy kept her eyes on his and raised her hips towards him. Spike moaned in pleasure. He pressed his pelvis against hers and started to rock his hips gently. One hand came up and cupped the side of her face. He leaned forward and kissed her softly.

Buffy opened her mouth and allowed him access. His tongue swirled around, rubbing against hers. She moaned in pleasure, her hips meeting his rhythm. Spreading her legs further allowed him to move closer. He kissed along her jaw line, taking her earlobe in his mouth he purred softly into her ear. She felt shockwaves of pleasure rip through her body. “Ohhhhh…Spike…” She whispered, arching her hips faster.

Spike buried his face in her neck panting heavily as he tried to restrain himself. He wanted to make her cum before he would allow himself release.

Buffy felt chills racing up and down her spine at allowing him to be so close to her neck. She dismissed it as she felt his hand slip between their bodies. She shuddered as he spread her nether lips and crushed his pelvis against hers again.

She screamed in pleasure when she felt him connect directly with her clit. She was writhing in pleasure. Lifting her legs with her hands she felt him deeper inside of her than she believed was possible.

“Oh…Buffy…yeah…oh god…gonna cum baby…gonna cum inside you…” Spike moaned into her ear.

His words, the cool whispers against her overheated flesh sent Buffy over the edge crashing into bliss. She saw stars she came so hard. Her breath was coming in gasps. Spike stiffened above her and she felt his cool seed let loose inside of her as he came with a roar of pleasure. Her walls clenched tightly around him. ‘That was amazing.’

“You’ve spoiled me for other women now luv I didn’t know lovemaking could be so intense.” He said softly. He kissed her ear gently. Rolling onto the bed beside her, his arm shot out and grabbed her around the waist. He pulled her against him, her back to his front. Placing one arm over her stomach he tightened his grip. Cuddling into her He buried his nose in her hair. She felt tears come to her eyes.

“Spike?” She whispered.

“Shhh luv. Get some sleep. I’m not nearly done with you yet.” He murmured.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

She ran back to the dorm as soon as she saw Buffy’s things lying on the ground. “I’m positive she didn’t show up for class today Giles… and I found her books and her bag on the ground outside the main building.” Willow said gripping the phone tightly.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

“Do we have any idea what could have happened to her?” Giles asked replacing the glasses on his face.

“I don’t know Giles. She wouldn’t just leave her stuff on the ground like that…are we sure Faith is still in a coma?” Willow asked nervously chewing on her bottom lip.

“Yes. I called the hospital as soon as I got off of the phone with you this afternoon…I also checked with Joyce. She hasn’t seen Buffy today.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

“Where did you go?” She asked.

“Been around.” He said shrugging his shoulders.

“Ohhh. Oh, my God!” She hugged him again. “I was freaking out! You just disappeared.”

“What? I took off.” He walked towards his bed and picked up the shirt he laid out.

“But you didn't say anything. You just left.” She said confusion etched on her face.

“Yeah. Like I really wanted to stick around after that.” He said pulling on his shirt.

“What?”

“You got a lot to learn about men, kiddo. Although I guess you
proved that last night.”

“What are you saying?”

“Let's not make an issue out of it, okay?” He said picking up his coat. “In fact, let's not talk about it at all.” He pulled his coat on. “It happened.”

“I…I don't understand. Was it m-me?” She asked meekly. “Was I not good?”

“You were great. Really.” He laughed. “I thought you were
a pro.” He said snidely.

“How can you say this to me?”

“Lighten up. It was a good time. It doesn't mean like we have
to make a big deal.”

“It is a big deal!”

“It's what? Bells ringing, fireworks, a dulcet choir of pretty little birdies?” He laughed again. “Come on, Buffy. It's not like I've never been there before.” He said reaching a hand up to her face.

“Don't touch me.” She said angrily jerking back.

“I should've known you wouldn't be able to handle it.” He starts to walk away.

“Angel!” He stopped and turned to face her. “I love you.” She said with tears in her eyes.

“Love you, too.” He murmured turning away. “I'll call you.”

He walked out the door. Buffy watched him go, extremely upset and
confused.

She closed her eyes and sighed.

Suddenly she was standing in one of the bedrooms of the mansion, sunlight streaming in. Spike appeared in her line of vision, completely naked, his cock standing at attention, pointing directly at her. “God…you’re amazing.”

He reached for her. When he touched her she felt her body responding, wetness pooling at her core. “Want to make love to you Buffy…want you so much…” He leaned forward, grabbing her by the shoulder he turned her so that he was pressed up against her back.

Buffy moaned in pleasure as one of his hands came up to cup her breast. Her knees felt weak. “Mmmm Buffy…” He purred into her ear making her shiver deliciously.

She could feel his hardness begging for entrance into her overheated body. “Never…” He slid slowly into her, giving her a few moments to adjust to his size. “Never gonna let you go Buffy…”

She wiggled against him. Hearing him purr against her neck startled Buffy from the dream she was having. She opened her eyes.

Spike was still curled around her, his cock embedded inside of her slick passage. He was thrusting slowly, purring and mewling against her skin.

Buffy arched her back, rocking against him. His hand left her breast, moving slowly down her stomach he found her clit and rubbed it in slow delicious circles. “Ohhhhh” She moaned and arched again, she could feel it building. She is starting to cum when she heard the bones shift in his face, bringing the demon forward.

She moaned in pleasure as his fangs pierced her neck. She felt the tenderness with which he bit into her, not trying to hurt her. Wave after wave of pleasure crashing over her. Buffy was trembling with the force of her orgasm when another knocked the breath from her lungs.

Spike slowly slid his fangs from her neck as she lay there panting. He licked the wounds gently. “Mine.” He growled into her ear, causing her to shudder again at the possessiveness in his voice.

Spike awoke with a start realizing that he did indeed just taste Buffy’s blood. He wasn’t dreaming anymore. Shaking the last visages of sleep from his brain he pulled back from the trembling girl. “Oh god…Oh no…no…no…” He pulled his still painfully hard cock from her still pulsating core and got up from the bed. Walking around to the other side so he could see her face, he saw the tears shining in her eyes.

Buffy watched him with tear filled eyes as he slipped the ring from his finger. He gently placed it on the bed beside her. Picking something up from the floor he walked back over to her. “I’m sorry. I know it doesn’t mean much coming from the likes of me…I didn’t mean to Buffy. I was dreaming that I was making love to you and you were begging me to… bite you. I swear I didn’t mean it…” He said softly. He tossed a stake towards her.

He fell to his knees in front of her and spread his arms wide, closing his eyes he waited for the inevitable. The harsh sound of her sobbing made Spike open his eyes and glance at her.

She looked miserable, laying on the bed, tears running down her face and soaking the pillow her head rested on.

“What is it Luv?” He asked softly as he moved closer to the bed. “Aren’t you going too…” He nodded towards the stake lying on the bed beside her.

“I…oh god…I know that you didn’t mean to bite me…the thing is…I believe you…and that terrifies me…you didn’t kill me and you could have. Easily…your fangs were already inside me and I was so lost in the sensations…but you stopped…so I believe you and I don’t want to stake you.” Her sobbing grew louder. ‘What does this mean?’

Spike reached out a tentative hand and stroked her arm. “Luv…can’t stand to see you upset…can I hold you?” He asked.

Buffy nodded, but continued to cry. Spike sat on the bed beside her and pulled the sheet over his still naked form. He reached over and grabbed her, pulling her into his lap. “Shhhh baby…it’ll be ok I promise…” He murmured soothingly, running his fingers through her hair comfortingly. He buried his nose in her hair and inhaled deeply. “I’d do anything to make this better luv…please tell me what I can do…”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Angel awoke to the ringing of the phone. He glanced at the clock. ‘Five thirty…who the hell is calling me at five thirty in the evening?’ He wondered. Quickly snatching the phone from its cradle he brought it to his ear. “Hello?” He muttered.

“Angel? It’s Willow…I’m sorry to have to wake you up…Buffy’s missing…” She said softly.

“I’m on my way as soon as the sun sets…be there in a couple of hours…” He murmured.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Her sobbing had slowed. Tears were still falling softly. She was listening to the soft cadence of Spike’s voice and it was soothing her. She started to listen to his actual words. “…so sorry luv…please…stop crying…god…don’t know how to take it back…” One arm was wrapped around her, rubbing soothing circles on her back, the other was still playing with her hair.

“Spike…I’m so confused…I…I…” She looked into his eyes. “Why didn’t you kill me?” She asked.

“Bloody hell Buffy…after what we just shared? I’ll kill anything tries to get it’s hands on you…rip it to pieces with m’ bare hands.” He growled possessively. “Never in my whole existence has anything felt so right as being inside of you…even this…just having you in my arms…woman…you have no idea what you’ve done to me…”

“Do you mean…you want to be with me?” She was still gazing into his eyes.

“You…you’re everything I could ever want luv…didn’t realize it till I had you course I had to go and bollocks it all up as I usually do…”

“I told you I believe you…I know you didn’t mean to…bite me I just…don’t know what to do…don’t know where we go from here…”

“Willing slave Buffy…I’ll never leave your side…never kill another person…bagged blood…whole thing…anything to get you to say you’ll be mine…” He took a deep breath. Looking into her eyes he continued. “You don’t want me luv…you tell me right now…shove that stake into my chest and let me die happy…”

She felt her heart clench painfully in her chest at his words, realizing that she was starting to fall for him. He was incredibly loyal, after all he was with 'the psycho ho vamp' for over a hundred years. He was willing...hell he volunteered to drink only bagged blood. Also the sex with him was amazing. He cared that he pleased her, he cared how she felt. Suddenly her stomach growled. “Spike…I…”

“Hungry luv?” He pulled her close and kissed her softly. “Why don’t we get some food into you and then we’ll talk yeah?”

Buffy nodded. Spike lifted her from his lap and set her down on the bed. He went and got the clothing they had dropped earlier in the living room and brought it into the bedroom. He helped her dress and quickly dressed himself.

“You’re forgetting something…” She said shyly as she finished tying her shoes.

“What’s that luv?” He asked tilting his head to study her.

“Your ring…” She opened her hand and there it was. She stepped closer to him.

“How bout you hold on to it until you decide I’m worthy of it?” He asked closing her fist around it.

“No. I want you to put it on. The sun hasn’t set yet…” She said nodding towards the door.

“Was just gonna make a run for the sewers luv…meet you there…”

“I want you to walk with me…in the sunlight…” She said softly. “Then I want to come back here and…” Blushing heatedly she grabbed his hand and deposited the ring inside.

Spike stared at her in wonder for a few moments before placing the ring on his finger and following her out into the sun.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
 

Xander had her by the hair, she was hunched over, her own hands pulling his hair. “Get away! Aah! Cut it out!”

“Ow, I'm so gonna bite you!” She said struggling against him.

“Ow... Ok, stop, stop! We should stop, ok?”

“Ok, I will if you will.”

“On the count of 3...” Xander said as he started to count. “Uh-huh. Uh-huh. 1...2...3!”

“Right, ok.” They both let go of the other, pushing away.

“Harmony, it's been great catching up. Really, I'm just gonna pick up the tattered shreds of my dignity and go home... Leaving you with your fire.”

“My fire? Yeah, right. Like I listen to the sex pistols. Eww. This crap belongs to Spike.”

“Spike?”

“Can you believe him? I find that stupid gem and he takes it from me. Then everything was "slayer this" and "slayer that." I mean, he probably already killed her. I'm not taking him back, I just...I just want to know why it is that men always...” She glanced up at Xander’s retreating back. “Leave.” She shrugged and tossed a lot match behind her, grinning as the pile of Spikes belongings went up in flames.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

“We’ve got big problems G-man.” Xander said collapsing onto the chair.

“How many times do I have to remind you not to call me that?” He asked as he whipped his glasses off of his face. Sitting down across from Xander he began to polish them to a brilliant shine.

“What’s going on Xand? What kind of problems?” Willow asked.

“Guess who I ran into? Harmony. Spike’s in town and shockingly he’s after Buffy.”

“Now is not the time for your sarcasm Xander…do you think he has her?” Giles asked.

“Well Harmony said something about him taking some gem and going off to find Buffy…so I’d guess so…”

“Bloody buggering hell. The gem of amara…” Giles said angrily.

“Did I just hear…” He looked at Willow and shook his head. “Bad words out of Giles’ mouth?” Glancing at the watcher Xander noticed the grim expression on his face. “How bad?”

“The gem of amara. I thought it was just a myth. It renders the vampire who wars it virtually invincible…No aversion to sunlight…crosses…holy water…stakes…nothing can kill them…”

“So he could walk in the sun? Oh god. He must have taken her…” Willow said softly, tears forming in her eyes.

“Yes quite…it is important that you do not invite her in…if you see her…we don’t know what Spike’s intentions were…he may very well have turned her.” Giles voice broke and he let out a sob.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

As soon as the sun set Angel was on his way. Growling in frustration he passed cars constantly, making it to the outskirts of Sunnydale in an hour and a half.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

“I’ll have a cheese burger, large fries and a large pepsi.” Buffy placed her order and glanced at Spike. He was grinning at her.

“I’ll have a blossoming onion…and Spicy chicken wings…” He shot another cocky grin at Buffy. He waited until the waitress left to speak again. “Glad you actually eat, not like some of those stupid chit’s, ordering a small salad and a glass of water.”

“I have to eat.” She grinned back. “Slaying eats up a lot of calories…”

“I know something else that uses a lot of calories…” He said suggestively. Picking up one of her hands from the table he stroked it softly. “So beautiful Buffy. Don’t know what I did to deserve havin’ you be here with me…”

“Spike I…I can’t believe you’re gonna give up hunting for me…”

“Course I will. Wouldn’t want to give you any reason to ever walk away from me. I swear luv. I didn’t know I could feel like this…feels like my heart is hammerin’ in my chest whenever you look at me. Feel like I could walk on water when you smile at me…and when you touch me I feel like I’m gonna come alive and combust at the same time…a few bloody hours with you, not fighting…not being mortal enemies and I’m falling in love.”

‘Falling in love? FALLING IN LOVE?’ Her mind screamed at her. Her eyes opened impossibly wide. ‘Did he really just say that? How can he love without a soul?’

Noticing the way her eyes bugged out at his admission he cringed. ‘Way to go mate, scare the girl off.’ Shaking his head he realized he needed to do some damage control. “Buffy…I…I’m sorry luv. I didn’t mean to scare you sayin’ that…”

“Here you go…” The waitress said placing their food in front of them. “Will there be anything else?” Spike glanced at Buffy. Her eyes were downcast and she refused to look at him.

“No thanks, we’re good.” He said softly. She walked away and Spike locked his eyes once again on Buffy. “Eat up luv. Gonna need your strength with what I have planned for the rest of the night.

Buffy smiled with the memory of what he had already done with her, to her, for her. Without looking up at him she started on her food.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Angel pulled up and was out of the car in a flash. He banged hard on the door waiting for someone to answer.

“Angel. Do come in.” Giles said politely, defeat in his voice, his posture.

“You’ve found her then?” He asked, noticing the grief stricken faces on the other occupants of the room.

“No…we didn’t find her…” Giles shook his head.

“What do we know?” Angel asked taking charge.

“All we know for sure is that she disappeared from the front of the school…Willow found her belongings on the grass outside the main building.” Giles said seating himself and indicating a chair for Angel. “We also know that Spike may be gunning for her.”

They talked before Angel arrived and decided it would be best if he didn’t know about the gem just yet. They all remembered what happened when he lost his soul, and didn’t want to take any chances.

“We can start at the school. I doubt her scent will still be there, but it’s something…” Angle sighed. “If Spike does have her…we’re running out of time, if we’re not too late already.” Angel felt tears welling up in his eyes. ‘If I hadn’t have left her none of this would have happened.’ He thought guiltily.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

They finished eating in silence. “Goona go pay the bill luv. Be right back.” Spike said softly. He got up from the table and walked up to the counter.

She watched him silently. When he came back to the table she met his eyes and reached out her hand towards him. Taking her and in his he pulled her to her feet. “Ready to go back?” He asked.

She nodded moving closer to him.

“Got a stop to make on the way there…that be alright luv?”

She nodded again, still not trusting her voice.

He pulled her in to the butcher shop a few blocks away. Surprised she followed him in silently. Spike ordered a couple of pints and paid without complaint.

“I can’t believe you just bought blood…” She said softly, her hand still enclosed in his.

“Meant what I said Buffy. I want to be with you. Whatever it takes.”
Stopping on the sidewalk Spike turned to her and looked into her eyes. “I swear, you’ll never have anything to fear from me…do anything for you luv.”

“I believe you.” She said softly. “I was there Spike…the way you treated me…I trust you…I just…if you can feel that way about me…how come Angel couldn’t? He had a soul…” Spike had an armful of sobbing slayer before she even finished speaking. “He left me…”

“Oh luv. Don’t know what’s wrong with that wanker. I’ll never leave your side.” Spike reassured her.

“But he loved me Spike…he did…and he left…he…I made him lose his soul when we…when we…and he hated me…he…”

“Shh baby. Shh. I’ve got you now…I’ve got you.” He whispered soothingly. Wrapping his arms tighter around her he silently cursed his sire. ‘How could you do this to her you bloody pillock? Had her. Had her love and you just threw it away.’ His demon was raging. Angry that someone who hurt his slayer was still walking the earth.

“Spike?” She whispered. She could feel him trembling with barley-contained rage.

“What is it pet?” He asked gently.

“I want to go…I can’t be here…” She was still whispering, afraid there were people staring at them.

Nodding Spike wrapped one arm around her, holding her close to his side and started walking towards the mansion.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Angel let his demon out, scenting he air around him. “No. It’s gone. I can’t catch her scent…”

Giles shook his head sadly.

“Why don’t we try Spike’s crypt?” Willow asked.

“Even Spike wouldn’t be stupid enough to take her there…” Angel growled. “But I do have another idea…” He motioned for them to follow him to the car.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
 

She followed him into the mansion and sighed. “What’s wrong luv?” Spike asked taking her in his arms.

“Just a little tired…could you just…hold me for a while?” Buffy asked with a yawn.

“Just going to make myself a mug of blood. Why don’t you go on in and get into bed and I’ll be right there?” He suggested. “You’ve had a very emotional day, you need to rest…you didn’t get much sleep earlier.”

Buffy smiled gratefully and made her way into ‘their’ room. She quickly undressed and crawled under the covers. Closing her eyes contentedly, she let her mind wander the events of the last few hours.

Spike walked in a few moments later, carrying a mug with him. He placed it on the bedside table and removed his shirt and boots. Quickly gulping down the blood with a grimace he crawled into bed beside her.

“You sure about this luv? What if I start dreaming again?” He asked.

Keeping herself covered she moved closer to him. Propping herself up on one elbow she looked into his eyes. “I told you I know you didn’t mean to do it Spike. I trust you. Okay?”

“T’s just so bloody hard to believe…” He whispered one arm snuck out and snaked around her waist pulling her closer. He let out a strangled cry. “Trying to kill me pet?” He asked. “How am I supposed to sleep knowin’ you’re naked beside me?”

“I can’t sleep with anything on.” She pouted.

“That lip. Gonna get it…” He murmured nibbling on the soft delicate skin. His hand came up to rest against the back of her head and he captured her mouth in a tender kiss.

“Aren’t you going to take your pants off?” She asked, already reaching for the button. “I want to feel you naked beside me…”

“Bossy chit aren’t you?” He asked getting up from the bed chuckling he undid his pants. Spike growled softly. “Gonna be the death of me woman.” He quickly shed his jeans and crawled back into bed beside her. “Happy now?”

Buffy sighed contentedly and curled her body around his. “Thank you Spike…”

“Sleep well Buffy.” He kissed the top of her head softly. Spike curled around her and listened to the rhythm of her breathing. He lay there just holding her and watched her. Waiting until he was sure she was asleep Spike whispered the words he had wanted to say to her all night. “I Love you Buffy.”

She sighed contentedly in her sleep and snuggled closer to him.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

“The factory? You think he’d bring her here?” Willow asked.

“This is where Spike did most of his evil deeds…” Angel sniffed the air, trying to catch one of their scents. “Nothing here. Why don’t we head over to Buffy’s mom’s house? See if she’s heard anything yet.”

Giles looked at his watch and cringed. ’11:30…She’s been missing since at least 3:30…that’s eight hours…’ Shaking his head in disbelief he let Angel lead them back to the car.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Buffy awoke with an anguished cry. Feeling his presence at her side she glanced at Spike. He was staring at her wide-eyed after being jolted awake. “What is it luv?” He asked, running his fingertips lightly over her bare arm.

“My mom. I have to call her…and Giles…they’re probably worried sick… is there a phone around here somewhere?” She asked.

“I…I have a cell phone…my last happy meal had it in his pocket…don’t know how much power it’s got…but you can use it.” He offered. Getting up from the bed he extracted the phone from his pocket. He handed it to her with a smile. “I’ll just leave you alone so you can make your calls.” He said softly as she stared at the phone.

“You don’t have to leave…” She reached for him, catching him by the hand she pulled him towards her. “I want you to stay…” She murmured shyly.

Spike sat on the bed beside her, absently running his fingers through her hair. He didn’t say anything; there was nothing he could say that would convey to her how much her softly spoken words meant to him.

Buffy took a deep breath and dialed. Listening to the ringing and waiting for the phone to be picked up she leaned against Spike, he wrapped his free arm around her and inhaled her scent deeply.

“Hello. I’m not in right now, but if you leave a message at the beep I will get back to you at my earliest convenience...” Buffy smiled. “Hey Giles. It’s me. Buffy. I’m just calling cause I haven’t talked to you and I don’t want you to worry. I’ll talk to you soon.” She took the phone from her ear. “I don’t know how to shut it off…” She said handing Spike the phone.

“This button…right here luv…” He showed her pressing the button and ending the call.

“I just want to call my mom really quick…she usually goes to bed by midnight…” She glanced at her watch. ’11:30’ Dialing she leaned against her vampire again.

“Hello?” Joyce answered after the second ring.

“Hey mom…” Buffy said nervously biting her bottom lip.

“Buffy! Thank goodness. Mr. Giles called, he said you were missing…where are you?”

“I’m not missing mom. I just needed some time to myself…I didn’t mean to make everyone worry.”

“Well everyone is worried Buffy. I thought you were more responsible than this. Disappearing for eight hours. I’m going to come pick you up. Where are you?”

“Mom. Chill. You’re not picking me up. I’ll see you tomorrow and explain then.” Buffy said softly.

“But Buffy…”

“I a an adult mom. I don’t even live with you anymore. Why are you so wiggy?” Buffy calmed slightly when Spike brushed a gentle kiss to her temple. “Listen mom…I’ll explain tomorrow. Ok? Just have a good sleep and I’ll be over after class.”

“Ok sweetheart. I trust you. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Joyce was on her way upstairs to bed when there was a knock at the door. She looked out the small window in the doorframe before opening the door. “I heard from Buffy. She’s fine…she’s going to come over after class tomorrow…”

“Thank god.” Giles grabbed her in a bone-crushing hug. “How did she sound?” He asked, glancing behind him to his ‘entourage.’

“She sounded fine.” Joyce smiled. “I’m so relieved.”

“As am I.” Giles smiled back.

“Where is she?” Angel asked.

“She didn’t tell me.” Joyce said, flashing angry eyes at the vampire.

“And you let her? Why didn’t you find out where she was? Who she was with?” Angel almost growled missing the fact that Joyce obviously wasn’t impressed that he was there.

“Why don’t we take this inside?” Giles asked.

“Actually, I was just heading to bed. Why don’t you come back tomorrow? I can make dinner for everyone…” Joyce offered.

“That sounds wonderful, that way I can see Buffy with my own eyes…” Giles said.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

“You ok?” Spike asked, brushing a stray hair back from her face.

“Yeah. I’m fine. I just…I should have thought about calling them earlier…” Buffy said stroking his arm softly, she was leaning back against him.

“You had a lot going on…I’m sure they’ll understand.” Spike said soothingly. “You ready to go back to sleep?” He asked.

“Mmmmm…I think I need some help getting sleepy again…” She said softly, turning around in his arms.

“I can defiantly help you out with that…” He murmured capturing her mouth in a gentle kiss.

Buffy reached up and curled her fingers into the soft hair at the nape of his neck, causing Spike to moan into her mouth, she climbed onto him, straddling his lap, sinking herself down onto his hardened length she was rewarded with a groan of pleasure from deep within his chest. Slowly rocking against him she cupped his chin in her hand; she turned his face up so she could look into his eyes.

The intensity with which his were boring into hers left her breathless. His hand moved down between their bodies, thumb slowly circling her engorged clit, his eyes locked with hers.

“Uhhhhh…oh Spike…” Her hips bucked wildly.

“That’s it Buffy…let go baby…” Spike whispered words of encouragement. His free hand moved to her hip, helping her rock against him. Spike leaned forward and captured one of her rosy nipples in his mouth. He felt her crash over the edge into bliss.

Leaning her head forward onto his shoulder she let out a breathy moan. “Spike…” Vamping suddenly he threw his head back and moaned, spilling his seed deep inside of her.

Buffy stayed still, knowing he was in vampface. A few moments later, when her racing heart had slowed she pulled back to look at him. Seeing yellow eyes gazing back at her she reached out cautious fingers to stroke along his brow line.

Spike kept his eyes locked with hers. “Never realized how sexy you are in vampface till right now.” She murmured, kissing his brow softly.

Spike wrapped his arms around her and hugged her tight against him. He was at a loss for words, unable to convey to her what those few words meant to him.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Angel and Giles had dropped off Willow and Xander at their respective homes before making their way back to his flat.

“Thanks for letting me stay…I could stay at the mansion but I want to be close…just incase…” Angel murmured.

Giles nodded. Walking over to his desk he noticed the light on his answering machine blinking. He pressed play.

“YOU HAVE ONE MESSAGE…

Beep… “Hey Giles. It’s me. Buffy. I’m just calling cause I haven’t talked to you and I don’t want you to worry. I’ll talk to you soon.”

Giles let out a relieved sigh. He was about to shut the machine off when heard more muffled words. “I don’t know how to shut it off…” Standing there with his finger hovering over the stop button, his blood ran cold when he heard the voice of her companion.

“This button…right here luv…” Just before the phone went dead.

“Beep. End of message.”

Angel let out an inhuman roar of disbelief and anger hearing his childe’s voice. He vamped and strode angrily to the door.

“Where are you going?” Giles asked.

Angel turned to him with angry yellow eyes. “I’m gonna find them.” He growled.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
 

“Spike? You ok?” Buffy was getting a little worried. Spike had been completely silent since she told him he was sexy in vampface.

“I…I…” Spike was having trouble stopping the tears that were threatening to fall. “Buffy…” Leaning forward he gently pressed his ridged forehead against her shoulder.

Still straddling him her fingers curled into the hair at the nape of his neck, Buffy held him quietly until he was ready to speak, she kept her fingers moving through his platinum locks, soothing him with her gentle touch.

“You…” Spike took a deep breath, caught her eyes with his and started again. “You…Buffy…I am overwhelmed…I never…I never knew it could be like this…you’ve gotten inside of me luv, in ways I didn’t think were possible…you captivate me…always have…there’ll never be another woman who could ever ever make me think twice…there isn’t anything that will ever stop me loving you…I’d kill for you. I’d die for you. Bloody hell woman if it were possible I would search out my soul and offer it to you…anything…” Tears were falling freely from both of their eyes as he spoke.

There was an intensity to his gaze that gripped her heart, it clenched painfully. “Spike I…”

“I know you don’t love me Buffy. I know I’m just…a soulless monster to you…but that you let me be near you, touch you…it means so much to me…”

“You’re not though…Spike I see the man beneath the monster…I know you can be a good man…I feel it in every touch, every word…I can feel your love…it makes me…it lifts me and I feel free. For the first time in my life I feel free. I am falling for you and one day…one day...it’s gonna take some time…I’ve been hurt and it’s hard for me to just give my heart away so easily…”

“I understand that luv. Got nothin’ but time. I…I’ve wanted you for so long…to touch you…feel you…taste your lips…” His hands cupped her face and he pulled her closer to him. He kissed her tenderly, passionately. Breaking the kiss he gazed intensely into her eyes. “I can wait as long as it takes Buffy.”

Laying her gently onto the bed he hovered over her, his fingers dancing lightly against her skin. Buffy shivered in anticipation as Spike positioned himself at her heated core, rubbing himself gently in the moisture he found there he slid in slowly to the hilt. “Home…I’m home inside of you.” He whispered gently licking the shell of her ear.

“Uhhh.” Buffy cried out, slowly bringing her hips up to meet his.

Spike inched out and slowly pushed back in. “Buffy…oh luv…can you feel me? How I fill you up?”

“Yes Spike…oh god yes…so perfect…ohhhhhh” She moaned softly arching into him. Her fingernails dug into his shoulders. Spike lifted slightly, one hand moving torturously slow to cup her breast. He kept his eyes locked with hers, her nails digging into his shoulders spurring him on. He began thrusting faster.

Her arms moved to curl around his biceps. “Spike…oh god…” She wailed, rocking her hips faster to meet his thrusts.

“That’s it…that’s my girl…” He murmured into her ear.

“Yes…your girl Spike…only yours…” She whispered. She turned her head to the side, her neck fully exposed. Spike gazed at his mark on her neck wanting so badly to let his demon out. His tongue darted out and traced the inflamed flesh, causing Buffy to writhe beneath him in ecstasy. He nibbled at his mark with blunt teeth. Buffy screamed his name as she exploded.

The tightening of her walls milking him, hearing her scream his name Spike let out an animalistic roar of pleasure as his features shifted he let his seed loose deep within her womb. Resting his head against her for a few moments he took a few deep breaths to calm himself. Still trembling with emotion, he rolled off of her and pulled her into his arms.

Buffy rested her head against his shoulder. “Spike?” She whispered.

“Yeah luv?” He whispered back.

“Thank you. For loving me so much…for being what I need…”

“How could I not luv? How could I not?”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Angel walked the whole of Sunnydale, each step he took making him angrier and more bitter. He caught the scent and feel of the impending sunrise and glanced around at his surroundings. His demon was screaming for him to give up this foolish hunt and seek shelter. He’d never make it back to Giles’ flat before the sun came up. ‘Guess I’ll have hole up in the mansion for the day.’ He thought bitterly. ‘At least I’ll be able to see her at home when she goes for dinner.’

Stepping into the mansion and shutting the door behind him he caught her scent. His demon took over.

Listening carefully he heard the beating of her heart. Relieved he inhaled deeply suddenly he realizing there were other scents mixed in with Buffy’s unique one. ‘Spike.’ His blood boiled. ‘Sex.’ That had his demon snarling and he made his way towards the door the mixture of scents was emanating from.


Standing silently at the open door he glanced towards the bed. Feeling for the stake he always kept on him he calmed slightly at the comforting heaviness in his pocket.

The demon inside him raged as he saw her, She was laying flat on her back, Spike was pressed up against her side, and courtesy of the blanket not being pulled up all the way he was enraged further by Spike’s hand cupping her bare breast, and Buffy’s hand curled possessively around Spike’s bicep.

Angrily stalking over to the bed Angel grabbed Spike by the neck, hauling him up he growled ferally.

Startled by Spike being ripped from her side Buffy awoke. She was unable to move, seeing Angel brought back all of the pain and inadequacy she felt.

“What did you do to her? Did you drug her?” He screamed pushing Spike up against the wall and pinning him there with his hand around his childe’s neck. Digging in his pocket he pulled out the stake. He thrust it against Spike’s chest, not going in all the way, just enough to hurt. Angel grinned in satisfaction at the blood that pooled against the sharpened tip.

Buffy was frozen. She took in great big gulps of air as she brought the sheet up around her and tried to fight the rising panic. Tears formed in her eyes and she let out a wail as they started to fall.

Spike glanced towards her, unconcerned with his sire. The look on her face, as she stared at Angel broke his heart. ‘She still loves him.’ Knowing what he had to do, and hating himself for it he smirked at Angel. “I've gotta wager this little tableau must sting a bit, eh? Me and your former? Must kill. What can I say? She’s amazing you bloody pouf. Can’t believe you left her.”

Angel growled and pushed slightly on the stake. Spike grinned further, masking the pain in his heart with the violence he so badly wanted to inflict on his sire. Bringing his fist up he smashed it into Angel’s nose. He heard the satisfying crunch of bone as Angel thrust the stake home.

Angel cried out in shock as Spike gripped his wrist, still holding the stake and twisted it. He heard the loud snap as his wrist broke under the pressure his childe was applying. ‘He didn’t dust. HE DIDN”T DUST.’ Falling to his knees in shock he didn’t see Spike’s knee coming at his nose. Angel fell back onto the floor with a thud.

Spike picked up his jeans and pulled them on. He quickly stepped into his boots. Gathering the rest of his belongings he quickly made his way to the door.

Buffy had finally opened her eyes. Realizing Spike was making his way towards the door she cried out. “Spike…” Her voice was hoarse from crying.

Spike stopped, keeping his back to her he spoke softly. “I know you still love him Slayer…” He made his way out the door. Hearing her get out of bed, and hearing her harsh sobs Spike assumed she was leaning over Angels knocked out carcass. Letting the tears fall freely he walked out into the sunlight and didn’t look back.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Buffy watched him walk towards the door. “Spike…” She wanted to run to him, wanted him to turn around and look at her. His next words sickened her. ‘I know you still love him Slayer…’

‘I do. Yes. But I want you!’ She wanted to scream but her voice wouldn’t cooperate. She got from the bed and fell to her knees, sobs wracking her tiny frame. ‘He left me. Spike left me…why does it hurt so much more than when Angel did?’ Wrapping her arms around herself she let the pain wash over her, drawing her further down into despair.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Spike found himself outside the university. It was where he realized he wanted her. He sat on the grass, just watching students walking around campus. ‘Strange. I really don’t want to eat any of them.’ He thought to himself. ‘Guess I’m really not the big bad anymore.’ Sadly he lay back and let his love for Buffy warm him.

“Hey…Uh…hey….are you ok?”

Spike glanced up and saw a shy, nervous young girl standing beside him. ‘Need to get these feelings out. Poncy William has come for a visit.’ He smiled sadly at her. “Fine luv. You wouldn’t happen to have a pen and paper I could borrow…would you?” He turned his charming smile on her.

The girl smiled nervously, digging around in her bag she pulled out some paper and a pen. “Thanks luv.”

He watched her walk away slowly; from the beating of her heart he knew she was hoping he’d call her back. It just wasn’t in him right now to play games.

‘I love you Buffy. I want you to be happy…but how am I supposed to go on…without you…now that I…’

Leaning over the paper with tears in his eyes he began to write.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

“She didn’t come to class. And I’m sure it was Spike I saw sitting on the grass outside the quad…” Willow said into the phone.

“Is he still there?” Giles asked.

“I don’t know…as soon as I saw him I came to phone you…”

“Well Angel didn’t come back last night…”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

‘I know my poems usually don’t go over well with the women I love…but maybe if she knows how I feel…’ Before he could change his mind Spike stuffed the neatly folded paper into the mailbox and walked away.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Buffy woke to a cool soothing touch. Moaning softly she opened her eyes and looked into his brown orbs. ‘Brown? That’s not right. It’s NOT right.’ Her mind, body and soul were screaming for Spike.

“How dare you? How fucking dare you Angel…” She growled punching him in the face.

“Wha…Buffy…I’m sorry…I came back…I’m so sorry. I changed my mind. I want to be with you.”

Buffy laughed humorlessly. “You know what…two days ago…I wanted nothing more than to hear you say those words. But you were right Angel. It’s not enough.” She glared at him. “The only reason you want me back is cause I’m with Spike and you can’t handle it.”

“Spike is an evil soulless…”

“Watch your mouth Angelus.” Buffy growled.

Angel reeled back in shock. “What did he do to you? Buffy you couldn’t possibly…” He then caught sight of the mark on her neck. “He claimed you?” Grabbing her roughly by the chin he tilted her head to the side, growling low in his throat. “How could you let him do that?”

“Mine.” He growled it possessively into my ear. She remembered it now with perfect clarity. “It’s none of your business Angel. I expect you gone when the sun sets.” Buffy got up from the floor and picked up her cloths strewn about the room.

“Buffy…Buffy! Come on now, stop. You can't just walk away from me.”

”What part of punching you in the face do you not understand?”

”So we had a fight. I still love you. It doesn't change anything.”

”It changes everything, Angel! I want you out. I want you out of this town, I don’t want you coming back here interfering with my life. You told me to move on. You told me to find someone who loves me, who can take me out into the sun…I’ve found that with Spike. I don’t want you screwing up what we have. Understand?”

”No, it's not that easy. Spike is a vampire Buffy. He’s a monster. He can’t walk in the sun. It's not real, he’s lying to you…and there's nothing that would ever make me understand how you could choose him. Like it or not, I'm in your life, you can't just shut me out.”

“I don’t want to hear it.” She said softly. Turning her back to him she went to find another room to dress in.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

“S…Spike? It’s….how did you get in here? In the front door? In the sunlight?” Willy asked trembling.

“Don’t want to talk about it you pillock. Get me a drink.” Spike growled taking a seat at the bar. “While you’re at it, leave the bottle.” He tossed a few bills on the bar.

Quickly snatching up the crumpled bills and shooting the vampire a suspicious glance Willy left a bottle and shot glass in front of Spike.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

“Mom?…Mom?” Buffy called as she walked into the house.

“Buffy? Oh Buffy!” Joyce cried, coming from the Kitchen. She grabbed Buffy in a tight hug.

“I didn’t go to class today…” Buffy said softly.

“That’s ok. I’m just glad you’re ok…”

“I’m fine…I…mom…I” Tears fell and she closed her eyes.

“Shhh Buffy. What is it?” She asked rubbing soothing circles on her back.

“I spent the night with someone…” Buffy glanced up at her mother’s face, gauging her reaction.

Joyce swallowed hard. “Are you ok? You seem pretty upset.” Joyce didn’t want to ask her next question, but couldn’t stop herself. “Did he hurt you? Force you to do something…”

“No…no mom, nothing like that…Spike wouldn’t…” Buffy’s eyes widened as she realized she had blurted out his name.

“Spike?” Joyce’s brows knit together in thought. “But I thought…”

“It’s really complicated…I don’t think anyone is going to understand…but I want to be with him mom. Angel found us this morning and he flipped out. He…”

“He was here last night…with the gang…”

The doorbell rang. Joyce glanced up. “Go on into the kitchen honey. I’ll make you some Coco…”

Buffy nodded and walked slowly towards the kitchen.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

“It was a delivery…” She said placing the box on the counter. She put the mail down on top of the box and went to the cupboard to get the things she needed to make Coco.

Buffy noticed a piece of loose-leaf in the mail. She pulled it from the bottom of the pile. It was folded neatly and had her name written on the outside. Buffy stared at the writing, not recognizing it.

“Do you want tiny marshmallows?” Joyce asked, not turning around.

“Uh…sure…” Buffy said softly. She unfolded the note and began to read.

Take back the kiss that stole my breath
The touch I yearned to sense
Remove the aching from my breast
Do away with... 'remembrance.'

Help me, when I close my eyes
Not to see your face
Take back the feel of your caress
The hold of your embrace.

Make the pain just go away
Give me back my heart
Take the memories of that day
You tore my world apart.

Tell me that you're miserable
No wait- say you long for me
Say it was all a big mistake
And, with me, you long to be.

Cup my face with both your hands
And tell me I'm beautiful
Say the words I long to hear
"I'll never let you go."

“Mom…I have to go and find him…” Her voice was raw with emotion. She left the paper lying on the counter as she ran from the house.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
 

Poem by Tyler R. Converse

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

Joyce picked up the paper Buffy had left on the counter and read Spike’s heartfelt words. By the time she was finished reading she had tears falling down her face. ‘Why would anyone disapprove of someone loving her this much?’ She wondered.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Insistent knocking at the door made Giles frown. ‘Who in blue blazes…I’m not expecting anyone.’ Walking towards the door he replaced the glasses on his face. “Buffy?”

“Giles…I need help.” She said softly. He could see her trembling; her eyes were red rimmed and puffy. It was quite obvious to him that she had been crying before she arrived.

Leaving the door open, without inviting her in he walked over to the table and sat down.

“You think he turned me? You think I’d let him do that?” She asked incredulously. She walked in and stood beside him tapping her foot impatiently.

“Buffy it’s not that simple. Spike kidnapped…” Giles glanced at the mark on her neck. He was furious. “He bit you? You let him bite you?”

“You don’t understand…”

“I’m sorry Buffy…but you must understand…Spike…he is an evil soulless monster who gives no thought to anyone else’s feelings…He is a shell of the man he once was with a demon residing in his flesh…”

Buffy glared angrily at him. She walked out of his flat wordlessly, Giles calling her name didn’t even penetrate her anger as she stormed out of the house. ‘I’ll trust my own bloody instincts thank you very much watcher-man.’ She was unconsciously using his words.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

She walked aimlessly. She couldn’t even cry anymore, she had used up all of her tears already. ‘Where is he?’

Suddenly an idea popped into her head and she took off in another direction.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Getting no satisfaction from the bottle he downed Spike just wanted to go home. He left Willy’s and walked all the way there with his head down, not even enjoying the sun. He walked into his Crypt, slamming the door behind himself.

“Blondie bear!” Harmony shrieked throwing herself at Spike.

“Bloody hell.” He muttered pushing her away. ‘Forgot about the bint.’ Sighing he rolled his eyes. “It's been fun while it lasted, Harm, but I think it'd be best now if you hit the road. I’ll be back tonight and you best not be here.”

”What? Why?” She whined.

“I just can’t deal with you anymore…” He said running his hand through his hair.

“It’s her isn’t it? The slayer. Harmony snarled. “I’m gonna get that bitch.”

Spike’s arm shot out and he had her by the throat before she could even blink. “I would really rethink that if I were you Harm. I think it would be best if you left Sunnydale…”

“Alright alright. What’s your damage?” She growled grabbing him by the wrist.

“I’m…I’m just gonna go. I mean it Harm. Leave. Sunnydale. For good.”

“Ok…Ok…Sheesh…I can smell her all over you…if you think I’d want you back now…” She choked back a sob.

“Shut your gob.” Spike growled as he walked out into the sun.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

“Slayer.” Willy welcomed Buffy into the bar.

“Willy. Have you seen Spike?” She asked.

“He…he uh…he was here earlier…but he left a little while ago…” Willy said nervously wringing his hands.

“Did he say where he was going?” She asked.

“I think he mumbled something about home…but I’m not sure. Is this about him being able to walk in the sun?” Willy asked intrigued by the fact that a Master Vampire could.

“No. It has nothing to do with that…um…if you see him again could you tell him I was looking for him? It’s really important…” Buffy said softly.

“Sure Slayer…sure…”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Buffy stalked silently towards her goal. She pushed open the crypt door silently. She could feel her ‘Spidey sense’ going off, but knew it wasn’t Spike.

She glanced around and no one was on the upper level so she made her way downstairs. “Harmony…have you seen Spike?” Harmony turned to her with fear in her eyes.

“You’re not here to fight me…are you?” She asked timidly.

“No…I’m really not. Just looking for Spike…” Buffy held up her hands palms out.

“He left…He asked me to move out of Sunnydale…as you can see I’m packing…” Harmony whined.

“He asked you to leave?” Buffy questioned.

“Yeah. He’s in love with you…” Harmony said softly, tears forming in her eyes.

“I know…I have to find him…”

“I knew he didn’t want to kill you. I’ve known for a long time…longer than he has…It’s why Dru left him you know…She knew too…”

“Oh…I didn’t know that…” Buffy said softly. “I have to find him…”

“Oh my god! Are those bite marks? Did he…bite you?” Harmony squealed.

“He…uh Angel said he claimed me…” Buffy said tracing her fingertips over the mark her vampire left.

“Claimed you? If he did that you’ll be able to find him easily…” Harmony smiled.

“Really? How?” Buffy asked excitement shining in her eyes.

“If I tell you…you’re not gonna hurt him are you? I know he isn’t always…”

“I’m not gonna hurt him. I promise…I just really need to…”

“Find him. I know. Ok…close your eyes and concentrate…you’ll be able to feel him. I mean really feel him. He’ll call to you…your mark there…” She pointed at the still inflamed skin. “It’ll tingle…”

“Thanks Harmony. I really appreciate your help.” Buffy smiled.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Spike knew Buffy would either be in class or making up with Angel, his next destination was decided. He made his way over to Revello Drive. He honestly couldn’t think of anywhere else to go when he needed comfort.

Tapping softly on the door he waited.

“Spike.” Joyce opened the door. “Come on in…”

“I could really use a cuppa Joyce…” His voice was raw with emotion.

“Of course…” She said kindly. “I’ve even stocked up on those tiny marshmallows you like so much.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Angrily Angel paced the length of his room. ‘Well my old room anyway. Hasn’t really been mine in a long time. Much better than going into their room.’

He couldn’t think about that room anymore. He couldn’t go into that room, actually no one could go in there. Angel had trashed it. Slashing the bed with his claws he ripped it to pieces. He had knocked over the bedside table, shattering it, and howling in a fit of fury he urinated all over the whole mess. It went a long way towards disguising the scent that still lingered in the air.

That’s why he was upstairs in his room. He couldn’t think down there…couldn’t deny what was right in front of him down there. He couldn’t deny the fact that their mixed scent still lingered down there.

Angel lay down on the bed. ‘Need some sleep. When the sun goes down I’ll go to Buffy’s and talk some sense into her.’ Being as tired as he was sleep came easily to him.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

“Where is Buffy?” Joyce asked.

“Might be at school, or maybe she’s still making up with that bloody ponce.” Spike answered bitterly.

“She went to look for you…I guess she didn’t find you…” Joyce placed a steaming mug in front of him.

Spike didn’t know how to reply to that. He glanced down into his mug and kept his gaze locked there.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Buffy stepped out into the sunlight. She closed her eyes and concentrated on Spike, on the feelings she could feel growing inside of her. She reached out to him.

She could feel herself being drawn forward, almost as if tendrils of mist were pulling her towards him.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

“You can stay till she gets back if you’d like.” Joyce offered quietly.

Spike nodded. ‘Need to see her, make sure she’s ok.’ Spike took a sip of the hot chocolate, savoring it. Joyce sat down beside him and just let him be silent. When he was finished his mug she offered him another.

“Thank you Joyce. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.” Spike looked right into her eyes and Joyce smiled.

“No problem Spike. My door is always open if you want a cuppa…or just some company.”

“You’re a bit of alright.” Spike smiled sadly. “Don’t know how much the slayer’s gonna want me around though…”

Suddenly he felt her behind him. Closing his eyes he waited for her to enter the room.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Buffy got a few blocks away from her house. She could feel his mark upon her skin tingling, begging for him to be near. She broke into a dead run. He was calling to her, pulling her willing body to him. Buffy was exhilarated by the feeling. Grinning she pushed open the door to her house.

She stopped outside the kitchen door. Her heart was triphammering in her chest. iCalm down Buffy.’ She admonished herself as she took a few deep breaths.

Pushing the door in slowly her eyes were instantly drawn to him.

His eyes flew open and met hers. Neither of them noticed Joyce leave the room.

She gasped when she saw the intensity of his feelings in his eyes. “Spike…” It was a whisper, a caress of his name.

“Buffy…”

Three long strides and she was in front of him. “Spike…I long for you…I burn for you…when you left…it was…it was a big mistake…I didn’t want you to go…I want to be with you.” She took a step closer, cupping his face in both hands she kissed him softly.

Spike was too stunned to respond. Buffy pulled back slightly and smiled at him. “You are gorgeous, with or without vampface. You’re mine Spike, all mine and I’ll never let you go.” She said passionately.

Spike’s fingers wound themselves into her hair. He inhaled her scent deeply. They leaned towards each other and shared a sensual kiss. “Mmm missed you…” He whispered against her mouth.

“Missed you too…so much…” Her fingers curled into his hair and she tugged him where she wanted him, hissing in pleasure as his tongue came in contact with his mark.

“Spike…” She threw her head back and held him tighter, his blunt teeth dragging over the sensitized flesh.

“My girl…my Buffy…” He whispered against her tender skin.

“Always Spike…” She whispered back.

The phone ringing startled them and they reluctantly pulled apart. Joyce answered it from the living room.

“Hello?”

“Joyce. It’s Rupert…are we still welcome there tonight?” Giles asked.

“Yes of course…” Joyce smiled into the phone. She was looking forward to having a houseful for dinner. Since Buffy had moved into the dorm she had been pretty lonely.

“We’ll see you around six then.” He replied.

She knocked softly on the kitchen door. “Buffy?”

“Yeah Mom, come on in…”

“We’re going to have some company for dinner…”

“That’s nice…” She murmured, not taking her eyes off of Spike. “We’re just gonna go outside in the back yard and lay on the grass in the sun…”

“Ok…I’ll call you when dinner’s almost ready…” Joyce smiled softly at them as they walked out of the house hand in hand.

They walked out into the middle of her yard, fingers still entwined. “You chose me…I can’t believe you chose me…” Spike whispered pulling her down beside him to sit on the grass.

She studied him for a few moments, loving the way he looked in the sun. It made the blue of his eyes more intense somehow. She could see his passion, his love for her shining just below the surface.

“We need to talk Spike…” Buffy said softly. “If we’re gonna be together…we need to sort everything out, so that there are no misunderstandings…no regrets….”

“Only thing I regret luv is walking out on you...” Spike pulled her against him. “I just need you close to me right now…” He murmured.

“Why did you leave? I called after you…I tried to follow you, but I just couldn’t…all my strength left me…” She nestled closer to him. “I was devastated…it hurt so much to watch you walk away like that…” She could feel tears forming, just from thinking about it.

“Shhh Luv. I didn’t mean to hurt you…that’s what I was tryin’ to avoid…I saw how upset you were when you saw it was Angel…and I saw in your eyes that you still love him…I just want you to be happy Buffy…if he can do that for you I was willing to step aside…”

“I…don’t take this the wrong way ok?” She turned to him and held his gaze. “I do still love him. But not in the way you think. I’m not in love with him anymore. He will always hold a special place in my heart but what we had is over. He told me he wanted me back…wanted to be with me again…before the words even left his mouth I knew that wasn’t what I wanted. I want you Spike. With every fiber of my being. I want you.”

“You’ve got me baby…I belong to you as I have no other…what I feel for you…” Spike closed his eyes. “I love you so much…have for a long time…and when we made love…twas the best day of my whole existence.”

Buffy leaned in and gave him a chaste kiss. “I know….it was like that for me too…it was amazing.” She smiled. “By the way…I ran into Harmony when I was looking for you…”

Spike growled low in his throat. “That bint. I’m sorry luv…I forgot all about her bein’ at my crypt…” He hung his head in shame.

“Hey…Spike it’s ok. She told me how to find you…how to let your claim lead me to you…”

“My claim?” He asked incredulously. “What do you mean my claim?”

“When you bit me…when you were sleeping…” She could feel a deep painful knot of fear beginning to form in her stomach. ‘What if he didn’t mean to do it? What if it was a mistake?’ She took a deep calming breath, trying to get herself under control. “You…you didn’t mean to?” She asked trying to keep the vulnerability out of her voice.

“Oh luv.” Spike lifted her chin and gazed into her eyes. “Not that I didn’t want to…I just…I wish I would have done it with your consent…when I was actually awake enough to enjoy it…”

“You didn’t know?” She asked.

“I blocked it from my mind, the whole bite, how it made me feel, everything. Didn’t want to remember hurting you…” He said softly.

“Well you’re just gonna have to do it again aren’t you?” She asked coyly.

“Don’t play with me girl…” He growled softly. She tilted her head so he could see the mark he placed on her flesh. He let out a feral growl and leaned in, running his tongue over the abraded flesh. He nipped gently with blunt teeth causing her to moan in pleasure.

“Spike…” She whispered. She pulled back to gaze into his eyes. “Promise me you’ll never leave me…”

“Never luv. I’d have to be dust…”

“Buffy! Spike! Dinner’s almost ready…could you come in and set the table?” Joyce called from the house.

Buffy and Spike glanced towards the house. “Betcha I can beat you there…” She was off and running before she finished speaking.

Giggling and shrieking she ran towards the house. She could feel him behind her, getting closer and closer. Spike put on a burst of speed and caught her just as she reached the top step. Grabbing her around the waist her threw her over his shoulder and carried a giggling Buffy into the house.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Angel awoke with the sunset. He growled softly to himself before getting out of bed. Grabbing his jacket he walked out the door.

‘I have to tell Giles about the claim, and the fact the Spike didn’t dust…I have to get her back…get her away from him.’ Angel decided as he made his way towards her house.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

“Oh my god mother, you made enough food for an army.” She grinned glancing at all of the food Joyce had spread over the kitchen counters.

“There will be seven of us.” Joyce said “Now…take these in the dining room and set the table please…” She said handing Buffy a stack of plates and silverware.

“What can I do?” Spike asked.

“Could you carry the bread tray in for me?” Joyce asked.

Spike took the tray into the dining room, giving Buffy a quick kiss he returned to the kitchen to await further instruction. Joyce kept handing him different items to carry in.

When Buffy was finished setting the table she joined them in the kitchen. “What’s next?” Buffy asked.

The doorbell rang. “How about getting that for me while I help Spike finish carrying stuff into the dining room?” Joyce asked.

“Cool. I can do that.” Buffy smiled. She gave Spike a quick kiss before going to answer the door.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

“What are you doing here?” Buffy asked hostilely as when she saw who was on the other side of the door.

“Buffy I…I’m sorry for the way I behaved earlier…I just worry about you…” Giles said softly. “I was quite stunned to see that you let him bite you…can we please work through it?” Giles asked. ‘I have figured out why you are defending him. Now I just have to make you see it.’ He smiled tentatively.

“We can try…” She offered. ‘I swear if you say anything about Spike…’ She left that thought unfinished.

Ushering Giles into the living room she returned to the kitchen to see if there was anything else her mom needed her to do.

“What’s wrong sweet?” Spike asked placing a soft hand on her arm. He could tell by her posture that she was angry.

“Giles just got here. I think we’re in for a long night.” She said tightly.

“It’s ok luv. We have each other, we’ll work it out.” Spike soothed taking her into his arms. He held her for a few moments until the doorbell rang again and she left his embrace to answer it.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

“Buffy!” Willow screeched grabbing her friend in a crushing embrace. “I’m so glad you’re ok.” She whispered.

“I didn’t mean to worry you Will.” Buffy said softly.

“It’s ok. You’re fine now right?” Willow hugged her again.

“Giles is in the living room. Why don’t we head in there…” Buffy said as the doorbell chimed once again. “Or you head on in and I’ll get the door…”

Willow smiled and walked into the living room.

“Buffy. Are you ok?” Xander asked hugging her tightly.

“I’m fine Xand…” Buffy smiled.

“She said she’s fine Xander. You can let go of her now.” Anya ground out through clenched teeth.

Buffy pulled back and smiled. “Hey Anya.”

“Hey Buffy. No offence but Xander is mine.”

“I know he’s yours Anya…” She smiled. ‘Besides I have someone of my own.’ Gesturing towards the living room she sighed. “You guys go on in. I have to check with mom to see if there’s anything she needs me to do…”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

“How could you invite them all here?” Buffy asked fiercely.

“I invited them yesterday…I didn’t know where you were Buffy and they were so concerned…”

“I know but…they’re just gonna try to get between me and Spike.” Buffy said softly as she rubbed her eyes.

Spike came up behind her and pulled her back flush with his front. “Mind if I have a word with your eldest?” Spike asked Joyce.

She flashed him a relieved smile. “I’ll go and check on our guests…” She said swiftly exiting the kitchen.

Spike stroked her stomach lightly. “Would it be easier on you if I were to leave pet? Come back after the scoobies have gone?” Spike murmured.

“I don’t want you to go…” Buffy whispered. She turned in his arms and rested her head on his shoulder. “I just want them to accept it…I know they won’t…at least not right away…but it doesn’t change what I want Spike.”

“I know it doesn’t luv…I just want to make it as easy as possible for you luv…” Spike said soothingly. “It’s not your mum’s fault…”

Faintly they heard the doorbell ring again.

“What would make it easiest on me Spike is if you were there with me…beside me…like you should be…”

Spike nodded. He started growling deep in his chest. “Angel’s here…”

Buffy closed her eyes. She felt him too. “What do we do?”

“We go and face em’. Together.” Spike said softly hugging her close.

“Let’s go then.” She smiled and tugged gently on his hand.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Everyone was seated at the dining room table by the time Buffy and Spike entered.

Angel looked up and growled. “Couldn’t you at least shower? I can still smell him between your legs.” He spat out.

The whole room was silent except the feral growling coming form deep within Spike’s chest.

Buffy’s eyes widened in shock. She glared at Angel with unshed tears in her eyes. “I thought I told you to leave town.”

“I’m not leaving until I’m sure he’s gone.” Angel growled jerking his head towards Spike.

“Let it go luv. He’s just jealous…” Spike leaned down to whisper in her ear.

Ignoring Angel they took their seats. The room stayed silent.

“Rupert…would you please pass the potatoes?” Joyce asked to break the silence. It was the only words spoken through the entire meal.

Everyone was staring at Buffy and Spike, watching their interaction with great interest. Everyone noticed the little touches, and discrete smiles the couple shared.

“Why don’t we all head into the living room?” Joyce asked when everyone was done. “I think we have a few things to discuss.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

Buffy grabbed Spike’s arm to hold him back for a moment. “Spike…”

“Yeah Luv?” He asked sensing the tension in her.

“This could be ugly…I…I just want you to be prepared…”

“To fight for the woman I love? No better reason in the world Luv…” He said pressing a chaste kiss to her temple. “Come on my slayer, the quicker we get this over with the quicker it’ll be done.”

She nodded and led him into the next room.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Once everyone entered the living room and found a seat, Buffy and Spike entered.

They stood near the doorway, Spike’s hand resting comfortingly on Buffy’s lower back.

“What is this all about Buffy? Why are you suddenly Spike’s champion? A few days ago you were mooning over Angel, and now…now you’re shutting him out…shutting us all out…we’re the ones who love you…” Giles said softly.

“Anyone else?” Buffy asked angrily. “Anyone else have any questions or digs they want to get in?” She glanced towards Willow, who was watching the scene with tears welling in her eyes. “Will?”

“I’m sorry Buffy…I just…I can’t believe you had this…this big thing going on and you didn’t tell me…”

Buffy sighed exasperatedly. “It’s only been a day Will. I was gonna tell you then all this happened…” She said waving her hands in the air to encompass the room and all of its occupants.

“If he makes you happy Buffy…” She said softly.

“You’d never guess how much…” Buffy smiled at Willow.

Taking a deep breath she glanced at Xander next. “Your turn…what do you have to say Xand?”

“Are you…is this…I don’t even know what to say…I just…Buffy…I know you aren’t ever gonna have normal…and maybe…like how demons are attracted to me…maybe you’re supposed to be with a vampire. Spike…he’s the second one…and other than that…the only normal guys you ever dated were before you were called…you didn’t even glance twice at me…or at any of the guys here…so maybe…maybe it’s meant to be…” He said softly. “I…I think I just need some time to process it…” He said apologetically. Anya stayed quiet, squeezing his thigh gently. She didn’t feel she had been around long enough to offer her opinion.

“Take the time Xand…I hope you can accept it…” She smiled shyly.

“You’ve accepted all of my girlfriends…except the evil ones you’ve had to kill…” He chuckled, grabbing onto Anya’s hand tightly.

Angel growled angrily. “Buffy give up this foolishness…” He got up from his chair and advanced on the couple. He was furious that her friends were just accepting this, accepting Spike as part of her life.

“It’s none of your business Angel. You broke up with me. You left…I don’t even know why you’re here now…” Buffy glared at him.

“Yeah…sod of ya big ponce…” Spike taunted with a smirk.

“That’s it…” Angel growled. He tried to grab Spike. Angel was stopped by Buffy grabbing him by the throat and pinning him against the nearest wall.

“Cut it out Angel or I will throw you out of here…this is your last chance…” Buffy said through clenched teeth, her tiny hand still wrapped around his throat.

Giles had risen to his feet. Squaring off against Spike he let out an anguished cry and lunged at the vampire. Buffy didn’t have time to move. Spike didn’t defend himself; he let Giles plunge the stake deep into his heart. Everyone watched in shock as the wound closed when Buffy wrenched Giles’ arm away from him, pulling out the stake.

“See…see he did that before when I…” Angel started to say. He was silenced by Buffy’s glare.

“I know you don’t get it. this between me and Spike, I get that, I really do, but what none of you understand is that I. Don’t. care.” Buffy caught the eye of everyone in the room. “What Spike and I share…it goes beyond slayer and vampire…it goes beyond anything I’ve ever felt before…and it is not something I’m ever gonna give up. I’m glad some of you are willing to over look the fact that we used to be enemies…I hope in time you all can, but if you don’t please know that it is not your choice to make.”

Giles sighed as he returned to his seat. “Just as I feared Buffy. I believe you are suffering from Stockholm syndrome…” Whisking his glasses off of his face Giles began to polish them. “You see it comes into play when a captive cannot escape and is isolated and threatened with death, but is shown token acts of kindness by the captor. We can plainly see that Spike has bitten you…”

“I hate to interrupt watcher…but if you know anything about the syndrome you are describing you would know that it usually takes at least three or four days to manifest itself. The one day Buffy and I shared isn’t long enough…”

Giles glared at the blonde vampire. Joyce cleared her throat, turning Giles caught her eye. “Joyce I can not believe you let this monster into your house.” Giles shouted as his temper flared. “And to sit there so calmly as your daughter defends him and their ‘so called’ relationship…”

“That’s just it…she’s my daughter. You are not her father so what right do you have to judge her? What right do you have to deny her a man that loves her?” Joyce asked angrily. “You may not be able to see it due to your prejudices, but I can. I can see how much he loves her…”

“He doesn’t love her.” Angel growled angrily, rising from his place on the couch he went to kneel before Buffy. “Please Buffy…give up this foolishness…you belong with me.” Angel’s voice took on a softer tone as he spoke to her.

Joyce snorted angrily. Buffy shot her a quick grin and squeezed Spike’s hand. “I belong with you do I?” She asked arching an eyebrow at him. “Tell me Angel…when you lost your soul…was it all hugs and puppies and ‘I love you’s’?” She snorted derisively “Or was it ‘I want to rip you into tiny pieces and take everything away from you’? You hated me when you lost your soul…didn’t you?”

Angel cringed. “Yes…I did but…”

“Wait a second. I’m not finished…just before you left me…you got poisoned…remember?” At his nod she continued. “You were all soul having then right? Well when I forced you to drink from me you almost didn’t stop. Did you?” She asked.

“But I…it was my demon…it was too strong…” Angel said feebly.

“I see. Even with a soul your demon controls you?” She glared at him. “Well Spike without a soul took only enough blood to claim me…and he was asleep when he did it. When he realized what he had done he was remorseful…so are you saying that he’s stronger than his demon? Or does he just love me that much?” She asked innocently.

Spike wrapped his arm tighter around her and grinned.

“I want to challenge the claim.” Angel growled getting to his feet.

“I don’t want to be with you anymore Angel.” Buffy said softly. “I want to be with Spike.”

“I said I want to challenge the claim.” Angel growled louder. “Are you listening to me boy?” He hissed pointing at Spike.

Buffy glared up at Angel. Without taking her eyes off of him She spoke to her vampire. “Spike…if I told you I didn’t want to be with you anymore what would you do?” She asked.

“Anything for you luv. If you want to choose tall dark and forehead right now, no matter how much it hurts I’d go…”

Buffy smiled. “See Angel…he really does love me.” Angel lunged around her and grabbed Spike by the throat.

“Are you gonna fight me?” He growled.

“Don’t have to.” Spike grinned cockily. “She belongs to me…I erased your mark with my claim, you gave her up, sides we had ourselves a fight already…at the mansion…if I remember correctly I kicked your sorry arse, and I walked away cause I thought you were what she wanted. Seeing as that’s not the case…I’m never gonna leave her side…”

Angel reeled back. He glanced at Buffy. She was still glaring at him. “I’ve moved on. Like you told me to…”

Angel sighed and hung his head defeated. “When he turns on you…”

“He won’t.” Buffy growled venomously.

“Love her too bloody much to do that…one day with her and I’m drinking animal blood…” Spike said softly.

“You expect me to believe that?” Angel asked.

“Don’t care if you believe it or not peaches…T’s the truth…you should know better than anyone bout my loyalty…my word is my bond…s’bloody unbreakable…”

“I can’t stand here and listen to this any more…” Angel growled. “You know where to find me when you need me Buffy…”

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“I think we all need a little bit of a break after his departure…” Joyce said softly. “Rupert…will you help me make some tea?” Joyce asked.

“Sure…” He murmured softly taking one last glance at the blonde couple he followed Joyce into the kitchen.

“I’m sorry I was so hard on you in there…I just…I see that he loves her…you would see it too if you gave him half a chance instead of letting your prejudices get in the way…here I wanted you to read something…” Joyce said softly pulling Spike’s poem from one of the kitchen drawers and handing it to him. “He left this in the mailbox today…”

Giles glanced down at the paper in his hand. ‘Definitely Spike’s writing.’ He thought as he began to read.

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“He wrote this…it’s his writing…from samples I have I would recognize it anywhere…” Giles removed his glasses and rubbed his hand over his weary face. “Did you hear him say he is drinking animal blood?”

“I did…” Joyce nodded.

“I don’t know what to think Joyce…by all rights she should be dead…lord knows he’s tried to kill him on numerous occasions…”

“Almost as many as she’s tried to dust him…” Joyce said with a chuckle. “But is it really so hard to believe Rupert? I mean…you know Buffy…do you really think she could settle for anything less than her equal? Spike is unequivocally her equal…he knows about her being the slayer…He won’t get hurt patrolling with her…he won’t die cause some demon hit him too hard…”

“And he is obviously in possession of the Gem of Amara…” Giles sighed again.

“What’s that?” She asked.

“Makes Vampires’ invincible…” He said softly. “He’s claimed her Joyce…I really must research that…”

“Do you think…in time you could accept it? Them together…” Joyce asked.

“I don’t know…there has never been any record of a slayer being mated to a vampire…the council is going to have a field day with this…”

“Do you have to tell them?” She asked. “I mean Buffy has never been a conventional girl…she is completely unique…and Spike…he’s a unique vampire…what they have is special…if you let the council in on this now…” She let her words trail off, hoping some of her words would sink into his mind.

“I’ll think about not telling them…at least for a while…”

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“I’m really sorry I worried you guys. That wasn’t my intention…I just had to…this thing with Spike…” Buffy grinned happily glancing at her vampire. “It just feels so…right…in a way nothing has felt right in my life since I was called. I hope you can understand…”

“So what you guys are like…dating?” Xander asked.

“Were you not listening to everything she said? They’re mated Xander…until one of them dies…” Anya grinned at Buffy. “And I’m sure that means many satisfying orgasms.”

Xander stared at his fiancé, eyes wide mouth hanging open. Anya noticed out of the corner of her eye and gently pushed his mouth shut. “It’ll be ok Xander. He claimed her it means he’ll never hurt her.”

Willow smiled at her best friend. “I think it’s romantic.” She said dreamily.

“You have no idea about romantic. Spike is so…sweet…” Buffy gushed, holding tightly to his hand.

Spike groaned. ‘Used to be the bloody scourge of Europe, now I’m bloody sweet?’ Buffy glanced at him. “You ok?” She leaned into him and whispered into his ear.

“M’ fine luv. Just a little drained…” He said softly.

“I’m gonna stay here tonight…with Mom. Want to stay if she says it’s ok?” Buffy asked.

“I…uh…if it’s ok with her I’d love to…” Spike grinned, picturing holding Buffy all night.

“I’ll go ask her. Be right back…” She said walking towards the kitchen. She didn’t hear the conversation that started once she left.

“I can see how happy you make her…she’s never been this happy…” Xander said to Spike. “she’s bouncy Buffy…but I swear…you hurt her…” He glared at Spike. “You hurt her I don’t care what it takes I’ll kill you.”

Spike grinned and nodded at Xander. “I’d expect nothing less from her friends. I respect the fact that a human would threaten my life. I know I’ve done you all wrong in the past. But for her, for Buffy I want to make amends. Much as I don’t want to admit it she needs you. All of you.” He chuckled. “I won’t hurt her whelp. She’s mine, my heart belongs to her…I’d bloody well dust myself before I did anything that would hurt my girl.”

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“Mom…can I talk to you for a minute?” Buffy asked.

“Yes dear…” Joyce nodded.

“I’ll just…I’ll be in the living room…” Giles said softly.

“Thank you Rupert. Please think about what we talked about…” Joyce murmured.

He only nodded. “What was that all about?” Buffy asked.

“What did you want to talk to me about Buffy?” Joyce asked ignoring her question.

“I…uh I wanted to ask you if…Spike and I could stay here for the night…after what happened…I just…I don’t want to send him back to his crypt tonight…I couldn’t stand to be away from him…”

Joyce smiled. “Yes you can both stay. I’ll go and make up the guest room for him.”

“Oh…uh…yeah…okay…” Buffy said softly, head hanging down.

“That’s not what you meant is it?” She asked noticing the slumped form of her daughter, looking like someone just kicked her puppy.

“I…well I’d rather that then be completely away from him…” Buffy said softly, trying not to let the tears that were slowly forming fall.

“You wanted him to sleep in your room…in your bed?” Joyce asked.

“I…yeah…” Buffy whispered. She looked up and locked eyes with her mother. “I am an adult mom. It’s not like I could get pregnant…vampire’s can’t…” She trailed off, really not wanting to discuss sex with her mother.

“Can’t what?” Joyce asked softly. She was elated. Joyce had always wanted Buffy to open up to her instead of keeping her whole existence secret from her.

“They can’t have babies…they’re little swimmer’s don’t swim.” Buffy said, eyes downcast.

Joyce lifted her chin and looked into her daughter’s eyes. “Giles told me he claimed you. Said it’s some kind of commitment…I don’t really understand it, but I do understand that he loves you. He can stay in your room, but I want the door open. And no sex.” Joyce said sternly.

“I promise.” Buffy squealed. Jumping up she hugged Joyce tightly. “You’re the best mom. I love you.”

“I love you too Buffy.” Joyce said softly, holding her daughter tight to her.

They entered the living room as the scoobies were getting ready to leave. “I’ll see you in class tomorrow Will. Maybe we can go bronzing tomorrow night?” She offered.

Saying their goodbyes, they promised to make plans the next day.

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Angel stalked into the mansion. He wasn’t ready to leave Sunnydale just yet. Angrily he stomped into the kitchen and threw open the fridge. What he saw inside shocked him to the core. ‘Blood?’ Angel picked up the half empty container and sniffed it. ‘Recent. Hmmm.’ That threw him for a loop. He was sure Spike was lying, but then he found irrefutable proof that he wasn’t.

He's worse. Once he starts something he doesn't stop until everything in his path is dead. his words from the first time the scoobies had met Spike replayed in his head. ‘That was a long time ago, and he still hasn’t killed Buffy. Him claiming her does insure her safety, being his mate he won’t ever hurt her or let her come to any harm.’ Fat, sorrowful tears started to flow. Angel didn’t even try to stop them. He cried for his own weakness, for allowing himself to lose her. ‘And now it’s too late. She belongs to Spike. She will until one of them dies.’ Angel sighed, wiping his tears.

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Giles sat at his desk, books open all around him as he researched vampire claiming. There were no references to a slayer ever having been claimed before.

‘When one vampire claims another it is marking it’s mate for life, though vampires as a rule are not monogamous creatures, the ritual of claiming is in a sense much like a human marriage. The vampires reside together, hunt together, and take care of one another. There are very few vampires who live longer than three years without being claimed, if a childe is a favored childe it may be claimed by it’s sire, as sometimes a vampire is turned as a mate. More often than not a minion is created, the newly risen vampire being unexpectedly different than the sire had anticipated.

Humans are rarely claimed by vampires because of their short life span, though it does happen. For reasons known only to the vampire. Once a human is claimed it will not be turned, due to the demon seeing the human as it’s mate it is unwilling or unable to drain it’s mate enough to turn them into a vampire, even though it would ensure the mate would be around longer. Also, due to the nature of vampire’s they protect their mate, even at the cost of their own lives if anything tries to hurt them.’ Giles let out a sigh of relief. Buffy would never be turned thanks to Spike. She may even have a chance at a longer life than her slayer calling would normally allow.

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Buffy changed into her pajamas in the bathroom. When she was finished she returned to her room where Spike was waiting. Leaving the door wide open she crawled into bed where he was already lying under the covers.

“Can’t believe your mum’s letting me stay.” Spike whispered pulling her against him.

“I know. But she said no sex.” Buffy whispered.

“I can handle that luv. Just getting’ to hold you all night…” Spike said softly.

“Are you gonna be here when I wake up?” Buffy asked.

“Course. Why wouldn’t I?” He asked, nuzzling his nose into her hair and inhaling her sweet scent. “Mmmmmm.”

“I donno...I have to go to school…” Buffy trailed off. “I just wasn’t sure you’d want to hang out here all day…” She said softly. She threw her leg over his jean clad thigh and snuggled closer, making herself more comfortable.

“I won’t mind stayin’ all day, waiting for you, M’ sure I can find something to do while you’re gone…” He murmured. “I may step out to pick up some blood though” He said softly kissing the mark he left on her neck.

“I'll pick it up for you if you want, I'll be out of the house anyway…”

"You'd do that for me?" He asked surprised.

"Of course." Buffy grinned against him. “Anything else you need?” She asked sighing contentedly.

“Got everything I could ever need right here in my arms…” Spike said softly. “You gonna be able to sleep kitten? Thought you said you couldn’t sleep with a stitch on…promise I’ll be a good little vamp…”

“Yeah…I know you would. You have this thing called self control…I do not possess one ounce of it…I’d jump your sexy bones…than my mom would get mad…and we don’t want that if we want this to happen again…” Buffy said softly.

“You’re right luv. Forgot how bloody irresistible I am.” Spike grinned. “Get some sleep sweet…when you get home your mum will still be at work and I plan on ravishing you…”

“Night Spike.” She said softly.

“Night Buffy. I love you.” Spike whispered, running his fingers gently through her hair.

“I think I love you too…” She whispered back. Sleep was a long time coming for the blonde vamp as he let her words sink in.

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Hearing a bang Buffy looked up to see her enter the room calmly little miss bouncy freshly washed hair and ready for school before I am again… She was walking over to Buffy’s side of the bed. “Dawn! You’re gonna wake up Spike!”

“M’ already awake…” Spike said sleepily, rubbing his hand over his face and pulling Buffy tighter against him.

“Sorry to interrupt the sex-capades. I just wanted to tell you that Mom's coming…She said you better be up and getting ready if he’s ever gonna stay over again…” She said nodding her head towards Spike with a shy smile.

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TBC...