::I Lose Myself:: by Enigma

Challenge 61 by Lovesbitca37
When Buffy blows up the judge, she 'accidentally' blows up Angelus and Drusilla as well. Can Buffy summon up the compassion/sympathy to look after and feed Spike while he recovers?

Must haves:

Bites

Wheelchair lovin' ;)

Scooby gang

Feel free to run with the idea! Cheers!

Summary: Challenge response to Challenge #60 on the Bloodshedverse, issued by lovesbitca37.
Thanks: To Debs for looking this over and liking it.

In every generation there is a Chosen One. Me. I alone will stand against the vampires, the demons, and the forces of darkness. I am the Slayer.

Except for this one.

The evil vampire whose lap I’m currently straddling. Naked. His cool fingers playing over my bare back, pulling me closer so that I arch towards his open mouth. My jiggling breasts a prize to be won as I ride his hard cock and bring us both, ever closer, to release. A brief moment of time where our anguish and despair disappear for just a while. That slight death that tears down our walls and slowly puts us back together again. Prepares us to handle another day.

My pace increases; I use my thighs to raise and lower myself up and down the length of his cock, taking a moment on the downward stroke to grind my distended clit against his pelvis. I hear his grunts and moans, feel his grip on my hips tighten almost painfully, and even with my eyes closed I know he’s changing, his human mask fading away to reveal the demon just waiting to reclaim his prize. I can hear the bones in his face shift as his fangs elongate.

Just moments now, and I feel him piercing my neck, his movements surprisingly tender for one prone to violence and destruction.

I think maybe he tempers himself because I’m his only link now. His sole means of getting better.

Oh, I have no illusions that he cares for me. Even if after we both find our release, he holds me tight, murmuring inconsequential nothings while he strokes my hair as I lay against him. Breathing heavily from exertion.

No, I have none. Illusions are for children. Not for people like me. Not that there are many of me, because hey, Chosen One here. Destined to walk alone. To remain ever on the outside looking in.

You’re probably asking how this came to pass. How I, the Slayer, champion of the light and savior of the world, would be reduced to fucking my mortal enemy. Spike. The self professed Slayer of Slayers.

Probably wouldn’t believe me if I told you. I hardly believe it myself.

~*~*~*~*~

The patrons of the mall were oblivious to the arrow that streaked through the air and embedded itself into the Judge’s chest – they were too busy having their energy slowly sucked out of them. But as the arrow pierced the demon’s flesh, it broke his concentration, and he momentarily released the multitude of people held prisoner to his machinations.

“Who dares?”

“I think I got his attention,” she announced to no one in particular.

“You’re a fool,” he told the slayer, eyes finally alighting on the blond girl standing on top of a concession stand. “No weapon forged can stop me.”

“That was then,” Buffy told the demon. She grabbed the rocket launcher, hefting it to her shoulder as she eyed the Judge standing in the middle of Angelus and Drusilla. “This is now.”

She flicked the controls, arming the weapon just as Xander had shown her, then pulled the trigger.

The rocket tore through the demon, obliterating it into a thousand pieces. The vampires standing on either side of the Judge fared no better, both catching fire from the huge fireball that erupted from the implosion of the bomb. Their joint screams rent the air as the flames consumed their bodies – until finally, nothing more than a small pile of dust marked their passing.

Buffy stared aghast at the scene before her. Her vampire lover, who’d inadvertently become evil after their one night together, was no more. She’d killed him. Done her duty, although it wasn’t what she’d planned. The weapon dropped from her shoulder unnoticed, her fingers simply letting go the instrument of her love’s destruction. She leapt down from the counter, oblivious to Xander’s excited exclamations that “evil undead” was gone as he high-five’d a confused Oz. Ignored Giles’ ramblings of performing her duty at the expense of her feelings. Shrugged off Willow’s comforting touch as she babbled on about how “sorry” she was.

She just turned and walked away, oblivious to the cries of the Scoobies as they stared after her.

She’d done it.

Killed Angel…Angelus. The vampire that had taken her virginity such a short time ago, who’d then proceeded to wreak havoc on her life and that of her friends.

She didn’t know what to feel right now. She was numb.

Her feet carried her out of the busy mall and into the darkened parking lot. Around her, distant sirens could be heard. No doubt racing towards the building once the water sprinklers had gone off.

Buffy broke into a slight jog, wanting to put distance between herself and the site of Angel’s destruction. Soon she was in a flat out run, her feet carrying her towards the seedier side of town – the warehouse district. The place Angel no doubt had returned to after losing his soul.

She ignored the stitch in her side from her headlong run. The tears that poured from her eyes were a distant afterthought. Her body’s unconscious response to the grief she refused to feel.

He’d been a demon. An evil, soulless monster.

She’d done her duty.

He was no more than dust beneath her feet.

~*~*~*~*~

Buffy slowed to a halt before the warehouse she’d come to earlier this evening in an attempt to stop the Judge from sending Earth into Hell. She pushed her way inside and listened to the sound of the closing door echo in the vacant building.

She wandered around, weaving in and out of the boxes that littered the abandoned warehouse. Her booted feet clicked hollowly as she made her way deeper into the room. Hazel eyes stared blurrily at her surroundings. Moments away from a complete breakdown, she spied a suite of offices and she crossed to them, not surprised when she noticed that they’d been converted into rooms for the resident vampires.

The slayer walked through the doorway of the first one she came to. Noticed immediately that it held some of Angel’s…no Angelus’ belongings. Leather pants and silk shirts were thrown haphazardly upon the silk sheets of the bed. She lifted a discarded shirt to her face, inhaling deeply the slight scent of the cologne he’d taken to wearing sans the soul. Her breath caught on a sob, and she threw herself lengthwise across the bed as she finally gave in to the desolation pressing in on her slight frame.

She cried for what was, and what would never be again.

Huge, wracking sobs that took everything out of her. Left her heart empty. No, not even empty. It was as if her heart were no longer inside her body. As if it had slowly disappeared with each tear she’d shed. Until nothing remained.

Eventually, she drifted off to sleep. Clutching tightly to her chest the garment that had triggered her final breakdown. She cared not that she’d left herself completely exposed to the vampires that inhabited the warehouse. Some small part of her hoped that one would come and end it all. Take her away from the misery she’d known since Merrick had first confronted her in Los Angeles.

She’d thought she could handle anything thrown her way. Shoot, hadn’t she died at the Master’s hand, only to be brought back to life by Xander’s life-saving breath? Hadn’t she gone on to defeat the master vampire?

Even after her spazz attack, where she’d taken a hammer to his bones, pounding out her frustrations until nothing remained but tiny pieces that had no chance of revival. Reduced to weeping like a baby in Angel’s arms.

Angel.

It all came back to him, only, now he was gone.

And, she didn’t want to bother any more. Was ready for the rest only her death could bring about.

She was through handling things. Just through, period.

~*~*~*~*~

Spike stayed hidden as the slayer meandered through the warehouse. In his current condition, he couldn’t afford to give himself away. Since Angelus had returned to the fold, Drusilla had been constantly at his side, forgetting completely her childe in her haste to reacquaint with her “daddy.”

The blood that she’d been bringing Spike had stopped abruptly. The sire’s blood she’d gifted him, gone by the wayside as she came back from hunting to writhe in the arms of her own sire, their joint screams of rapture causing his jaw to work as he held in his rage at the change in the status quo.

He’d known the second she’d gone. Felt the invisible string tethered to his unbeating heart snap and turn to dust, like she’d no doubt done. Whatever had happened had been big. None of the minions that had left with Angelus and Drusilla had returned, either dusted themselves or too scared to return and face Spike’s wrath – even if he was still wheelchair bound.

When he heard her heartbeat slow, indicating her slumber, Spike wheeled forward cautiously. His curiosity too much for him to bear. Why would the slayer come here of all places? Alone, and obviously upset, if the sound of her weeping a short bit ago were any indication.

And what would possess her to let down her guard and sleep in the den of her enemy?

It came to him then.

The slayer had a death wish.

~*~*~*~*~

Buffy knew someone – some vampire – was there as soon as her body brushed off the last vestiges of sleep. It took a moment for her to remember where she was. The events from the night before came back to her in a rush and she sucked in a breath as she relived every last moment inside the mall. Her mind replayed with morbid fascination the vampires’ demise. The image of their bodies slowly disintegrating to ash. Their anguished cries…

And then nothing.

Nothing but twin piles of dust amongst the scattering of demon parts.

Her eyes opened, eager to eradicate the images behind her closed lids. Not caring of what she might see. Black jeans settled in a black wheelchair were the first things she noticed. She raised her head higher, and sure enough, Spike sat there. Staring down at her as she lay on the bed. His expression unreadable as she gazed up at him.

He looked horrible. The right side of his face was covered with blisters, a result of the fire that had lapped at the skin before he’d been rescued – undoubtedly by Drusilla. But, it wasn’t just his face that made him look sickly. It was as if he’d been malnourished, if that were possible. His face more pale than normal, his prominent cheekbones standing in sharp contrast against this thinning face.

But, his eyes blazed with anger. Testament to his deep hatred of her.

“Someone’s been sleepin’ in my bed,” he snarked. “Or should I say Angelus’ bed?”

Buffy sat up on the bed facing the master vampire. Her relaxed posture mocked the threat he posed to her. And she watched as his eyes first widened, then narrowed on her face at her blatant disregard for his appearance at her bedside.

“Spike,” she mumbled, not in the least concerned for her safety. “What are you doing here? I thought you would have disappeared when you felt my approach. Obviously not on the bright side, are you?”

“Careful, slayer. I’m not as helpless as I look,” he growled.

Then proved it by gaining his footing and standing before her.

“What? I’m supposed to be impressed because you can stand up? Please… One small breeze and you’ll wind up a heap on the ground.”

Spike lunged at the slayer, determined to either kill her, or be killed by her. Her taunting that he was less than the master vampire he professed to being rankled him. He slammed into her, well more like fell on top of her. His legs giving way after standing for that short period of time.

She didn’t put up a fight at all, and once more he realized that she did, in fact, have a death wish.

They lay there, nose to nose, neither combatant moving as they stared at one another. His nostrils flared as he watched the pulse beating in her neck. Then he became aware of other things. Her soft breast smashed against his lean chest. His groin nestled between her parted legs.

Neither moved for the space of a minute.

Then two.

Until it became too much for the blond-headed vampire and he used his upper arm strength to rock against her hips. He watched as her eyes widened at the move. Nearly groaned aloud as she shifted her legs and he settled more snuggly against her mound. He couldn’t help himself, and he thrust himself up against her again.

Buffy lay back against the mattress, uncaring that it was Spike above her. Spike that was grinding himself into her core. She’d already made love to one vampire, and look where it had gotten her.

Maybe vampires were the slayer’s one weakness. Their seductive embrace a lure that could not be resisted.

Or maybe it was just her.

Was it just her make up that she couldn’t, wouldn’t, see herself with normal boys? Possibly something in that slayer mold that caused her to seek out her enemy?

Different sides of the same coin.

Night and day.

Good and evil.

Neither one without the other. Complements.

She gave up speculating about the aspects of her existence when she felt his fangs pierce her neck, digging into the marks left by the master. She didn’t shout or try to shove him off of her. Rather, she just let him sup at her neck. Let her life’s blood flood his mouth. For a moment she held him close, urging him on to take his fill and end her measly existence. She’d done her duty; it was time for someone else to carry the torch.

As the blood drained from her body, she became lightheaded. Her limbs grew weaker and her arms slid helplessly from around Spike’s back to fall limply to her side. Eyes closed, she drifted off…peace finally attained.

Spike tore his mouth from the slayer’s neck, lunging against her one last time before coming in his jeans. The slayer’s blood an aphrodisiac that sent him hurtling over the edge. He let out an inhuman roar before collapsing weakly on top of her. His lips nuzzled the open wound on her neck, his tongue flicking out to lave at the marks to stem the flow of her sweet elixir. Lying there a moment, he listened with satisfaction to the steady beat of her heart as it attempted to recover from the blood loss.

He didn’t know what just happened, but he was loath to examine it just yet.

Instead, he managed to roll off her pliant form, falling gracelessly to his back beside her. Already, he could feel the blisters on his neck fade away, revealing his startlingly handsome human guise. Felt the healing properties of her blood zing through his veins, doing much to repair the damage she’d inflicted on his body just a few short weeks ago.

With a contented sigh, he drifted off to sleep.

~*~*~*~*~

Up. Down. Up. Down.

I increased my pace until the sound of my ass slapping against his bare thighs competed with his grunted encouragement and my keening cries of pleasure. Faster. Faster. My movements nearly frenetic as I ride him wantonly towards climax. I stretched towards him, my body silently begging for that sweet kiss that only he could give me. I could feel him hovering over my flesh and opened my eyes to see him staring at me.

Smirking at me.

God, I hated that look.

Yet at the same time, it got me wetter than ever.

And he knew it too. I watched as his lips curled into a shit-eating grin.

He was going to make me beg. I could see it in his eyes.

But, I didn’t care. I’d stopped caring so long ago. If he wanted me to beg for him to bite me, it was fine by me. I’d long since given up the fight.

“Please…Spike…I need it,” I whined prettily.

“What do you need, slayer?” he asking, licking a trail along the vein in my neck. “This?”

“Yes… please…bite me…” I begged shamelessly.

My eyes rolled back into my head when I felt his fangs plunge deep. Then he began sucking greedily at my neck, huge gulps that went straight to my pussy and caused me to finally climax. I could feel my inner muscles clenching and unclenching his cock just before I felt a flood of cool liquid shoot deep inside my womb as he joined me.

I collapsed against him, there in his wheelchair, utterly spent. His hands left my hips and returned to my hair as he started with his meaningless babblings yet again. I’ve tried to tell myself that they mean nothing. That this – this nightly ritual of sex and blood – means nothing. I can feel myself drifting off as his hand run through my sweat-slickened tresses as I lay my head wearily against his shoulder.

~*~*~*~*~

Buffy woke a few hours after dawn and realized that she’d ended up missing class. She twisted her head to the side and took in the slack features of Spike. Was shocked that he appeared almost angelic in slumber.

She struggled to rise from the bed, slightly confused that she could actually still count herself as a card carrying member of the living. Why had he not killed her? Thoughts too deep for her addled brain. Better to concentrate on a cover story for her mom, and a convenient lie for her watcher and friends.

She finally managed to gain her footing, staggering slightly as she made her way out of the impromptu bedroom towards the exit. The lack of blood was playing havoc with her body, and she swayed drunkenly as she slowly made her way down the sun-drenched streets of the warehouse district towards school…and home.

By the time she reached school grounds, classes had let out for the day. Buffy went straight to the library. She needed to reassure the others that she was ok. And, hopefully see about that cover story for her mom. Until she remembered that her mom was out of town for the next few days. But still. The others deserved to know that she was alright, and it was that thought alone that forced her feet to keep moving towards “Scooby Central.”

Pausing before the swinging double doors, she glanced in through the windows to gauge everyone’s mood. Giles was pacing, the end of his glasses dangling thoughtlessly from his lips as he gestured to both Xander and Willow. Even Miss Calendar was back in the fold. No surprise there.

Bracing herself, she pushed through the doors and waited.

She didn’t have long as Willow happened to glance up; a shouted “Buffy” and then she was racing towards her friend, enveloping her in a hug.

“Buffy…we were so worried!” the redhead cried.

And, then the others were there. Smothering her with their false concern. As if they cared that she’d just killed a vampire. Her vampire. Only not hers anymore. Just dust.

Blowing in the wind.

“Are you ok?”

“Where have you been?”

“So worried…”

“Looking all over for you…”

Their questions floated around her, unable to penetrate the shield she’d erected around her body.

Warm. They were too warm. She needed to get away. Smothering. They were slowly smothering her.

She began to struggle, her voice locked in her throat, unable to spit out the words to gain her release. Finally, they seemed to notice her fidgeting and she breathed a sigh of relief when they released her.

Buffy stepped back, putting distance between herself and her friends. They saw the gesture but didn’t comment.

“I’m fine.” The rote reply coming easily to her lips. “Really.”

“Buffy…that is to say,” Giles began.

“I’m fine, Giles.” This time, slightly louder, with a little more conviction.

He seemed appeased and dropped whatever he was going to say.

“I’m going home now. I’ll see you all on Monday.”

“Buffy-” Willow began.

“It’s ok, Wills. I’m just tired. Call me later, m’kay?”

“Uh…sure,” the redhead replied uncertainly.

Then Buffy was out the door leaving her friends behind, dual masks of confusion marring their features.

~*~*~*~*~

I stayed away that first night. Had Willow sleep over at my place so we could do the “girl” thing while my mom was still out of town. I guess I said all the right things at the right time, because she woke the next morning, a Miss Fucking-Ray-of-Sunshine. Not caring in the least that I’d just dusted my first love the night before. The vampire I’d gifted with my virginity.

I waved her off, telling her that I planned on spending a quiet weekend at home. Recuperating. I squelched the eye roll as she turned the sad puppy dog look my way. But, I congratulated myself on standing firm. I really hadn’t wanted her around. I wanted to be alone. To grieve.

And to think.

About him. And why he’d left me alive.

It had made no sense. I’d practically gift-wrapped myself for him. The more I thought about it, the more he pissed me off. So, it wasn’t long before I’d worked myself up into a righteous fury that he had left me alive. Who the hell did he think he was anyway?

I grabbed a stake, tucking it in the waistband of my jeans, and let myself out the front door into the early afternoon hours. With my blood stores returned, it hadn’t taken me long to reach the warehouse district. I had been practically running there towards the end, my ire steadily rising with each footfall upon the pavement.

How dare he leave me alive!

I’d known he was there as soon as I’d arrived. Could feel the slight tingling along my neck that indicated a vampire was close. Throwing the door open angrily, I’d stalked inside, determined once and for all to have it out with him. My feet had eaten up the distance between the entrance and the mock bedroom, until they’d ground to a halt at the scene before my eyes.

He’d tidied the room up. Had removed all traces of Angelus and Drusilla. The sheets had been changed. Still silk though. The various candles placed around the room had provided the only light to the space. And there he’d been. Nude. Lying in the center of the bed as if he’d known that I would come.

I couldn’t stop my feet from moving instinctively towards the bed. I’d never seen a naked man before. My one time with Angel had been under the sheets with the lights almost completely extinguished.

I think at some point I’d started to drool. And Spike had most definitely been drool-worthy. Even with the gaunt features. Although, my blood had seemed to have helped him in that regard. He’d sensed my approach. The steel blue gaze had watched as I’d approached. I’d stared back helplessly, caught and held in some trance completely of his own making.

When I’d reached the bed, I could only stare in a kind of sick fascination as his cock lay hard and full against his stomach. My hand had reached out. Wanting to feel it.

“Take off your clothes and get on the bed,” he rasped out. His voice husky with desire.

I don’t know what it was that made me do it. Even now, after nearly two weeks of these nightly visits, I couldn’t tell you what made me obey him. Maybe it had been the gleam in his eyes that promised something. Something besides pain. A pleasure so deep that I’d be begging him for more. So, I’d shed my clothes, caring not a whit about my nudity, his evilness, or the insanity of making love with my mortal enemy. Just climbed up on the bed and let him awaken my body to the true meaning of passion. Something even Angel hadn’t been able to show me.

I’d stayed for the entire weekend that first time, leaving the bedroom only to see to nature’s call, and then the one time I went out to get me some food. He’d given me an hour. An hour to grab something to eat and be back in the bed with him. His eyes had hinted at dire consequences should I not return in time. I almost was deliberately late, just to see what he’d do. But in the end, I’d made it with a few minutes to spare, tossing the bag of snacks on the bedside table as I shucked my clothing and resumed my place beside him.

I lost count of the number of times – and the number of ways – he brought my body to orgasm that first weekend. He’d been surprisingly inventive for someone without the full use of his lower limbs. Even now I still marvel at his ingenuity.

Maybe that’s why I still come. Slink away from my friends. Distance myself from them more and more each day. Hurry through my patrols so that I can race over here to spend the remainder of my time entwined in the arms of my new vampire lover.

Maybe I’m just waiting to see what he can do to me once he’s got full use of his body.

I get wet just thinking about it.

A/N: I really had planned on this being a one-shot. But, images of both Buffy and Spike kept swirling in my head, until I couldn’t resist.
Thanks: To Debs, once again, for the beta.

I crept around the cemetery, stake poised, waiting for the next vampire that wanted to try to get a piece of me. Thought they had a shot at taking out the slayer.

Tonight probably would have been the night, too, but for some reason or other, all remained quiet within Restfield. It was a good thing really. I could practically feel the waves of heat coming off of my skin. My head felt like it was going to burst from the pressure, and it made me woozy. Less the demon hunter and more the sixties hippy tripping off the latest hit of LSD.

Suddenly, a noise sounded off ahead, and I crept towards it, praying I could kill whatever it was and return to Spike. Maybe with his cool body wrapped around mine I could find relief from the heat threatening to send my skin up in flames.

I chuckled mirthlessly at myself.

Who was I kidding? It wouldn’t cool me off. If anything he’d only add to the fever plaguing my body.

I rounded the corner, and my smile faded as I nearly collided with Xander, Willow, and Cordelia.

What the hell?

“Non-vampire. Plus two,” I grumbled, the sarcastic note in my voice sailing over their heads.

“Hi!” Willow greeted meekly, putting her cross away. “What are you doing here? You’re sick and should be home in bed.”

“Yeah, Buffster. We can handle your patrol for one night,” Xander chimed in.

“No…can’t…have to slay the vampires,” I replied. “Have to…”

Then my world faded to black, never feeling as I was caught by Xander before I could crumple to the ground.

~*~*~*~*~

“We need help!”

“Somebody, please help!”

“What happened?”

My eyelids fluttered opened. Glimpses of white walls, people in matching white uniforms peering down at me as they shoved various instruments in my face. Then, my lids covered my eyes and I drifted off again.

~*~

“She’s got scars all over her…”

“Are those bite marks?”

“Look at that one on her neck…looks fairly recent…”

I didn’t open my eyes this time when I came to. Didn’t want to answer all of the questions hidden within the depths of their eyes. The antiseptic smell of the room assaulted my nostrils, and I knew instinctively where I was.

God, I hate hospitals!

My “bed” started moving, and I finally cracked my lids to get a glimpse of my surroundings. Medical personnel stood like sentries at the four corners of my gurney. Then other voices floated from down the hall towards me. Mom, Giles, Xander, Willow, and even Cordelia rushed forward; so I forced my eyes all the way open so that I could look up at them.

“Buffy!” mom cried, rushing to my side as I continued my journey to wherever they’re taking me. “Hi, sweetheart.”

She continued to rattle on, the concerned motherly guise an easy role for her to slip into; everyone was talking over each other so that no one could be heard. My head moved back and forth between them all, until finally I gave up and closed my eyes with a groan.

Someone save me…

Images of a platinum blonde vampire sprang to mind, and a smile tugged at my lips. Then the picture faded as their voices increased in volume until they were practically shouting over one another in an attempt to be heard – their sheer volume interrupting my daydream. Sweeter words were never spoken than when the nurse told them all that it was time for me to rest. That they could come back tomorrow morning. I vowed right then that my attitudes towards hospitals would change.

I’m whisked away from the groans and complaints of the others. Although, I know they won’t go far. Right now, I bet they’re talking amongst themselves as to who is going to take the first watch out in the waiting room. As long as they’re stuck on the outside, that’s fine by me.

Except.

‘Don’t think about him right now, Buffy. He’ll be alright until you get out of here.’

I feel the nursing team easily lift me from the gurney to my bed, resettling me beneath the covers. The others depart, leaving me alone with just one nurse. My eyes open to watch her flit around the room, checking gauges, getting fresh water…

Looking at the water, I’m suddenly struck by how thirsty I am. I guess with the high fever, I’d become dehydrated. She sees me eyeing the pitcher and I swallow around the lump in my throat as my mouth salivates while she pours me a glass. Then it’s hovering around my face, the straw just waiting for me to wrap my lips around it and suck the refreshing liquid into my mouth. My throat muscles work as I eagerly drink down the entire contents, and I look up to see a slight smile on the nurse’s face.

“Keep drinking like that and we’ll have that IV out of your arm in no time,” she tells me.

I can manage no more than a slight nod before I drift off to sleep, once more succumbing to my fever.

~*~*~*~*~

The bedside clock changing from one minute to the next seemed awfully loud in my quiet room, and my eyes opened to take in my surroundings. I felt slightly better, my head didn’t feel like it was going to explode, and my LSD trip appeared to have abated somewhat. I’m not sure what it was exactly that woke me; I’d thought I’d seen a shadow walk past my open door, but I’m not positive.

Sweeping the covers off my body, I swung my legs over the side of the mattress and slowly stood up beside the bed. My legs nearly buckled, but I shook it off and wrapped my robe more securely about my shivering frame. It was probably just my imagination, that vision, brought on by the high fever that had apparently returned. But, I left my room and wandered down the deserted corridor.

I peeked into the various open doors as I walked. All appeared quiet as I crept down the hallway, then I suddenly jumped back before nearly being run over by two orderlies wheeling a gurney out of the children’s ward. Their voices drifted back down to me, but in my feverish state I wasn’t sure if I heard them correctly.

“Man, I hate it when you lose the young ones.”

My eyes stayed on the sheet-draped figure being rolled away until it was gone from sight before continuing my exploration.

Soon I heard more conversation, and I crept silently towards the office and lurked outside.

“I'm just saying, step back on the dosage until we can analyze the results.”

“There isn't time. I should think that would be clear to you by now.”

“The normal course of treatment...”

“They *aren't* responding to the normal course of treatment. Look, they're getting worse.”

“Raising their temperatures is poten...”

“Dr. Wilkinson! I have the consent of the parents.”

“They're desperate! They don't understand what you're...”

I leaned wearily against the wall, unsure if what I was hearing was actually real or just a product of my fever-induced hallucinations. The conversation abruptly ended, and I pushed away from my crutch and half-walked half-jogged back towards my room. More tired than I’ve ever been, I practically fell into bed and was asleep a moment later.

~*~*~*~*~

Spike carefully paced the confines of his bedroom. Their bedroom. A cigarette dangled forgotten from his fingers, one of the many he’d chain-smoked since the slayer had not joined him by her usual time.

“Where the bloody hell is she?” he growled aloud.

He limped back and forth in front of the bed, ignoring the shooting pain in his legs as his heels connected with the cool floor. He welcomed it, the jarring feeling of foot against pavement that triggered electrical impulses to head straight towards his brain. Embraced each agonizing sensation that told him he was getting better, would soon be the fierce vampire he’d spent more than a century becoming.

His anger mounted as the minutes ticked by. How dare she do this to him! Make him yearn for her. Need her. Rely on her.

Miss her.

The more he thought about their arrangement, the angrier he became – his awkward steps transforming into stomps, until finally his healing limbs could take no more stress and collapsed beneath him.

Slayer.

Frustrated with himself, he pounded his fists against the floor, his harsh blows leaving faint marks upon his hands. Anger spent, Spike rolled to his back and lay there for a moment, his eyes wandering about the room. The dark wheelchair placed near the bed silently mocked him.

He snarled at it. Cursed the object that drove home his weakened state.

By sheer force of will, he gained his footing.

If the slayer wouldn’t come to him, he’d go to her. He would just have to take it slow. Spike slipped into his duster and escaped into the night.

~*~*~*~*~

It didn’t take long to catch her scent in the cemetery. Breathing deeply, he let her faint husky signature wash over his senses and used it as a beacon to guide him. His full lips formed a frown when it led him towards the hospital. The emergency room entrance to be exact.

Worry, an emotion he hadn’t felt since Drusilla had gotten hurt in Prague, gripped him. He wanted nothing more than to be able to run towards the doors and find out what had happened to her. But, if he did that, he knew he’d never make it. Would collapse again before he was even halfway there. Instead, he continued with his steady limp, his eyes fixed on the sliding doors. Fifty steps. Thirty. Ten.

He paused outside the doors. If the slayer were here, then it was a safe bet that her friends and watcher were as well. Sure enough, when his eyes moved to the far corner of the waiting room, he saw the whelp talking with the watcher and the slayer’s mum. He’d have to wait until their gaze wasn’t focused on the main door—

There.

Spike slipped inside and down the hallway away from the others. He passed easily through the ER doors and quickly found the slayer. She was being looked over by several people.

“She’s got scars all over her…”

“Are those bite marks?”

“Look at that one on her neck…looks fairly recent…”

Uh oh. Surely his bites hadn’t done that to her. She’d never said anything…

“Fever 102, BP 130/90, respirations 18…”

“Must be that virus going around…”

“Give her a CBC, Chem 7, type and screen…”

Virus?

Spike saw one of the nurses heading towards the door and he moved away. He’d hide out until they settled the slayer in a room and then check on her himself. He turned away, his nose picking up the faint traces of blood.

‘May as well grab me a bag or two while I’m here.’

~*~*~*~*~

Spike snuck inside her room several hours later and nearly growled aloud when he saw the empty bed.

‘Where the bloody hell did she go?’

Rather than turn around and search the hospital for her, he took a seat in the darkened corner of the room – his black attire blended with the shadow make him invisible to the casual eye - waiting for her to return. His eyes closed and he relaxed deeper into the chair, the chilled blood bags he’d consumed doing much to restore his energy.

He felt her before he saw her. Heard the erratic beating of her heart as it pumped her blood through her veins. The sound of her heavy breathing almost made him leap from his hiding spot in the shadows and rush to her side.

Spike watched as she lurched into the room, nearly sprawling on the floor as the virus played havoc with her body. Then she collapsed on her bed, and he knew instinctively that she was asleep.

Ears attuned to the noises outside her bedroom, Spike heard the nurse walk by the slayer’s room and move off towards the nursing station. Satisfied that she wouldn’t be returning to check up on her for awhile, he pulled himself to his feet and approached the bed.

She’d not even bothered with the covers, leaving her tanned legs bare to his gaze. His eyes roamed appreciatively over her frame, frowning once again at her weakened state. He didn’t like seeing her like this. She appeared almost… fragile. Her body shivering against the chills.

Spike shrugged out of his duster and tossed in on the chair in the corner. He slipped out of his boots and pulled down the bed rails so he could slip into bed with her. The heat radiating from her body felt like heaven and he couldn’t help the purr that rumbled from his chest as he pulled her close.

~*~*~*~*~

I feel like I’m floating on the sea. The cool water on my back easing some of the heat of my body as I lay exposed to the scorching sun. Desperate to feel more relief, I struggle to remove the garments that keep me from feeling the slightly chilled water against my skin. It seems like I’d suddenly grown extra arms – my clothing leaving me in a rush and then I feel enveloped by the cold.

I squirmed, struggling to get deeper, to immerse myself in its refreshing depths.

I think a wave might have overpowered me, because suddenly I was flipped over, my chest and stomach pressed against that cool relief. But then the water started to warm, as if absorbing my heat, and I moaned in frustration. It had felt so good, a brief respite from the blazing sun. Time to swim away, back to the beach for now.

My arms stroked through the water, my legs kicking to aid my progress back to shore. I gasped in surprise when I suddenly stopped. Something…some thing had wrapped its tentacles around me and was keeping me from moving. Pinning me in place. Blind panic gripped me, and I began to struggle. I had to get away. Back to safety. Back to shore.

“Slayer.”

The low growl pulled me from my dreams, and I opened up my eyes to find myself staring at Spike. Naked. In bed with me. His blue depths pinned me in place, and my tired body missed the concern buried beneath the anger.

“Spike? Wha-what are you doing here?” I managed to get out.

Was I still dreaming? Having wanted him here, my mind just conjuring him up?

He didn’t answer me. Not that I expected he would. The only time we talked to each other was when he was directing me on how to move, or when he commanded me to tell him how I felt. How he made me feel.

I couldn’t help but clamor to get closer as he slipped down my body, his lips and tongue trailing a long leisurely path down my neck, pausing momentarily to tease and torment the hardened peaks of my nipples. Sucking each one into his mouth, laving at them until I thought I’d go insane. I bit down hard on my lip to keep from crying out and cause the nurses to come running. He finally released the second one and I breathed a sigh of relief that he’d stopped torturing me so. But, it was only to continue his journey southward.

Licking my lips, I parted my legs in anticipation. Already I felt my eyes about to roll back into my head at the promised pleasure of his tongue buried deep in my quim.

“This what you want, kitten,” he purred seductively from his spot between her legs.

Oh God yes!

I knew the heat of my skin had nothing to do with the virus I’d contracted and everything to do with the vampire tracing a finger up and down along my slit. I wanted to arch into his touch, but I didn’t. Just lay there helplessly as he teased the juices from my core with the slow play of his finger along my outer folds. He’d taught me well this past month.

To rush him, especially when he was bent upon a slow, leisurely seduction, would be to deny myself release. It had taken me a while to learn that lesson. One he’d thrilled in teaching me. Delighting in my pain of being held on the brink of orgasm with no end in sight. But, once I’d mastered his instruction, he’d given me heaven. The pleasure of his touch so great that I’d fainted, only waking to be treated to it again and again.

“Spike…”

His name left my lips on a breathy sigh when he finally pierced my center with that talented tongue of his, lapping at the copious amounts of secretions leaking from my pussy.

I knew he loved the taste of me.

“Almost as good as your blood,” he’d told me often enough.

When he removed his tongue and replaced them with two fingers deep inside my pussy, I struggled not to grind myself against his hand. I felt him chuckle against my inner thigh, as if he knew my thoughts, what I want to do.

Then finally, the torture is over. Three words softly spoken in my quiet room release me from my self-imposed immobility.

“Come for me.”

The words alone cause me to flood his digits with my response, the husky tone of his voice a seductive lure that I’m powerless to resist. His mouth latched onto my clit and I’m helpless to prevent the bucking my body does as he slides a third finger inside. My body writhed beneath him, swept away along a maelstrom of sensations.

I felt his mouth leave my clit to be replaced by his thumb. And I know what’s coming. I can feel my body drawing tighter in preparation, mindlessly fucking his fingers now.

“Don’t scream,” he commands, and I smack my hands over my mouth as I wait.

I come the moment his fangs sink into my flesh, instinctively finding my femoral artery. I can practically hear the blood as it floods his mouth as he takes several deep pulls. My hips buck spasmodically against his face and hand as I ride along the waves of my climax. I taste the coppery tang of my own blood, and realize that I’ve broken the skin on my hand where I’d bitten down to muffle my scream.

My eyes light up when I see him crawl up the bed towards me, and it dawns on me that he’s able to walk. With the fever raging in my body, I’d not comprehended how he’d come to be here. For some reason, this knowledge makes me smile which only grows wider as his cock brushes against my entrance.

I lift my hand to trace the ridges of his brow, silently marveling at this deadly creature capable of such passion. Tracing my finger around his lips, I snag a few stray drops of my blood and hold it up for inspection. His tongue laps at the blood before sucking the entire length of my finger in his mouth.

I hear his rumble of pleasure as he sheaths his length deep inside my pussy, and I’m not sure if it’s the taste of my blood as he sucks it from my finger that causes it, or the way my inner walls mold itself to his hard cock. I can’t help but stare wide-eyed as he rises to his knees, easily lifting my hips off of the mattress. My mouth goes dry as I catch him looking at me. I can practically see the wheels turning inside his head, plotting evil ways to reduce my body to a quivering mass of post-orgasmic bliss now that he’s nearly healed.

My body responds to the promise in his eyes, unconsciously squeezing his cock as he moved in and out of my body. His eyes close and I can see his jaw tighten to stave off his orgasm. A thrill of power goes through me, and I do it again.

His eyes open, his amber gaze pinning me in place.

“Do that again,” he commanded. And I comply. Squeezing my muscles around his cock as hard as I can.

“Fuck. Again, slayer.” My vaginal walls tighten around him before he can even rasp out his name for me. Slayer. Always slayer. “Aaahh… fuck…harder…again.”

I continued this new trick as he grabbed my legs, spreading them wide as he set up a punishing pace. My fingers fisted into the covers as our bare flesh smacked together. We were making noise. A lot of noise. And, a small thrill went through me that I might get caught. That we might get caught. Such a naughty thought. But, I don’t care.

All I can think about is this vampire between my legs, his cock buried so deep it’s like he’s trying to fuse our bodies together.

Joined.

I feel the pressure in my body begin to build. Spike seems to sense it as well, increasing his pace to drive me even higher. Then higher still.

When it happens, it catches us both by surprise. Starting where our bodies are intimately locked together, my body begins to vibrate, until it encompasses my arms and legs. I’m helpless to the vibrations coursing through my body and know I’m just moments from drifting away. I need something to anchor me. To keep me safe. To hold me close and keep me from floating away. My arms lift in supplication towards Spike. My lover. He can keep me here.

I weep with relief when he abandons his position and lowers himself on top of me. My arms and legs immediately wrap around his lean frame as I climax beneath him. I feel the tension radiating through him and know he wants to join me. To feel what I’m feeling.

Trailing my arms down his back, I cup the globes of his ass and urge him deeper, harder. I hear him growl into my neck and my nails sink into his ass, leaving faint crescent marks in his flesh. He likes it…I can tell. The purring and growling are going hand and hand now. I spread my legs wider, letting him sink a little deeper. The fingers of my right hand moved to explore the valley between his ass cheeks, and I felt him still momentarily above me.

I paused, unsure if I should proceed.

His movements resumed once more, and I thrilled when he began to nibble at my neck, his blunt teeth causing goose bumps to break out along my flesh.

“Don’t stop, kitten,” he murmured in my ear before nibbling on the lobe.

Encouraged, I allow my index finger to rub up and down over his puckered hole then trace its outer rim. He must have liked it because he thrust hard, driving me deep into the mattress. An evil smile that he couldn’t see graced my lips, and I rammed my finger in his ass.

His bite was harsh this time, more instinct than finesse as he flooded my womb with his ejaculate. Even so, I still managed to come. The border between pain and pleasure blurring, until I couldn’t feel one without the other.

He collapsed on top of me, his weight draping over me like a security blanket. I held him close as I peppered his neck and jaw with soft kisses. A soothing touch in the aftermath of such pent up desire.

I felt his face shift above me, his human mask descending once more. His lips brushed over mine, the soft caress teasing them apart and allowing his tongue to slip inside and explore the recesses of my mouth. He kissed me with a thoroughness that left me begging for more, his tongue running along my teeth, gums, the roof of my mouth, before he curled it beneath my own and sucked on my tongue.

The kiss seemed to go on forever. He coaxed me to probe his mouth with my own tongue, and I followed – a willing slave to his desires. I felt him getting hard inside me again, and I groaned into his mouth as he began thrusting into my quim with slow, deep strokes. My tongue mimicked his lazy movements, thrilling as he growled deep in his throat, signifying his pleasure.

I was swept away once again, tears coming to my eyes at the gentleness of his movements. My fingers cupped his jaw as we continued to kiss, the drops that leaked from my eyes pulled towards my hairline by gravity. Thumbs traced his hard contour as I memorized every detail of his face.

This next orgasm when it hit was like an endless wave of pleasure. A soft rippling of bodies as we continued to move against one another long after our climax has passed. Our bodies stilled, but our lips refused to part. Until finally my mouth went slack as exhaustion overcame me.

I fell asleep with Spike nibbling on my parted lips.

When I woke to the nurse walking in my room, I was snuggled under the covers.

No sign of my vampire remained.

A/N: Just wanted to take a moment to thank everyone that has reviewed this story thus far. Also, in looking back, I failed to give credit where credit is due. So… parts of the dialogue from this story (some verbatim other in paraphrasing) come directly from the episodes “Innocence” and “Killed by Death.” Props to the writers of both episodes, no disrespect intended in the borrowing.
Thanks: To Debs, who thought it was good enough.

I played dumb when the nurse asked me about my IV. I think I may have mumbled something about knocking it out in my sleep. I wasn’t sure. I was tired. The fever and recent blood loss once again making my body weary. With all the blood Spike had taken from me recently, it’s a wonder I wasn’t a member of the walking dead. Or undead, as the case may be.

I flinched slightly as the nurse started another line in my hand. Why was it that the needle she rammed into my vein hurt worse than Spike’s fangs when they punctured my flesh? Maybe the pain he inflicted was tempered by the pleasure his touch promised? I concentrated on that thought until I felt her tape the catheter in place, signaling an end to the pain.

Her hands felt cold against my fevered skin as she took my temperature and blood pressure. I glanced at her face out of the corner of my eye and noticed her frown.

“How are you feeling?” she asked me, concern evident in her voice.

“Tired. Hot,” I managed to choke out. I wanted nothing more than to go back to sleep. Hopefully get rid of this virus that seemed to have invaded my body.

“I’ll be right back,” she told me. “Just need to confer with the doctor.”

“Ok,” I mumbled, already drifting back to sleep.

When next I woke, it was to see a dark-skinned doctor running her hands impersonally over my body.

“Wha?”

“Hello, Miss Summers. I’m Dr. Wilkinson. How are you feeling?”

“Tired. Hot. Can I go back to sleep now?” Hadn’t I just said the same thing to the nurse?

She mumbled something under her breath that I was hard-pressed to understand. I closed my eyes, lulled by her hands running through my hair and down my neck—

“Miss Summers? Do you remember how you got these bite marks?”

I think I must have fallen asleep again because when I came to this time, her hands were examining the bite marks on my inner thigh. I was hot. So hot. I needed Spike. Spike would cool me off and release me from this oppressive heat.

I smiled, thinking of him.

I didn’t feel the second line on my opposite hand as it was inserted, allowing two pints of blood to replace my depleted stores.

It was the “Dear Lord, Buffy, are you alright?” from Giles that pulled me from my dreams of the peroxide-headed vampire. He must have realized his loud exclamation woke me because I could see his face flush slightly in embarrassment.

“Monster…death…” I manage to spit out around my delirium.

“They said you were bitten,” he stammered out.

Bitten. Spike.

I tried to focus on Giles’ face, concentrate on his lips as they moved. But it was a losing battle.

“Children…” I mumbled before, once more, drifting off.

~*~*~*~*~

Giles had overheard the doctor speaking as he’d approached his slayer’s room. Words sounding suspiciously like “bite marks” and “needs blood” drifted out through the partially open door as he’d waited outside.

Now, with Buffy resting peacefully once more, he took the bits of information she’d managed to get out and left her room to conduct some research. He shamelessly enlisted the aid of Xander, Willow, and Cordelia, halting their progress as they rushed inside the hospital doors. He’d need all the eyes that could be spared to pore over his books and track down the demon that had incapacitated Buffy. Besides, his slayer needed to rest, and Giles didn’t want the others to worry about her once they saw how bad off she was.

He quickly told them what had happened, leaving out the more dire aspects of the slayer’s condition and turned the three around and urged them all to follow him to the library. He breathed a sigh of relief when they didn’t argue, just did as he asked and trailed him to the school.

Night had fallen when they caught a break.

“Der Kindestod,” Cordelia announced. “Translates to Child Death. Sucks the life out of unsuspecting or incapacitated children…blah blah blah…Oh, says here…invisible to the human eye.”

“I wonder how Buffy was able to see it,” Giles mused, the tip of his glasses stuck between his lips as he mulled over this latest discovery. “Hmm… Cordelia, good work. I’ll head back to the hospital and sit with Buffy. You kids go on home.”

When Giles arrived at the hospital and noticed Buffy’s room empty, he feared for her safety, rushing back to his car to grab the crossbow he kept in the boot for emergencies. He just prayed he wasn’t too late.

~*~*~*~*~

His cool fingers felt heavenly against my face. I opened my eyes, relieved to see that it wasn’t another dream. That he’d come back.

“Spike,” I murmured drowsily, leaning into his touch. “You’re here.”

He didn’t say anything to me, just watched me with that intent gaze of his. My eyelids eventually drooped, too tired to hold his stare. I covered his hand with mine, holding it in place against my cheek. I wouldn’t let him leave me now that he was here. With a smile on my face, I started to zone out again, only startling awake at the slight pressure on my hand. I opened my eyes to see Spike removing the IV.

“What are you doing?”

“We’re leaving.”

I felt his arms slide under my legs and upper back, and then I was lifted against his chest. The feel of leather against my cheek felt nice, the scent of tobacco oddly comforting. I was all set to relax against him, let him do what he willed; yet something – some thought – pulled at my conscious. A nagging piece of information that gnawed away at my sluggish mind until it crystallized in form.

“No…”

“Yes.”

“But…the children. Have to save them…”

That was it. The children. One last thing I had to do before I left.

“Slayer, you can barely save yourself, let alone some kids.”

“Spike, please…”

I heard someone cry out, Ryan maybe, and I scrambled out of Spike’s arms, intent on locating the source of the noise. Another cry. More panicked this time, and I took off running towards the stairwell.

Why wasn’t anyone investigating? Why couldn’t anyone else hear their cries?

No matter.

I knew he was there.

Death.

He’d come to take the lives of the children.

I pushed the door open and raced down the steps – Spike hot on my heels – following the sounds of the crying children. I would have slipped and fallen, the fever raging through my body making me unsteady on my feet, but cool arms slid around my waist and kept me upright.

“You’re gonna get yourself killed, slayer,” he growled at me.

Leaning heavily against him, I tried to explain.

“You…you don’t understand,” I gasped, swaying on my feet as I willed myself not to pass out. “This-this thing…It killed my cousin. I was ri-right there, and I couldn’t see it. ‘ve got to stop it. Can’t let it hurt them anymore…”

I knew if he didn’t help me there’d be no way I could defeat the thing. That if he took me out of the hospital right now, I wouldn’t be able to stop him. I could feel him wavering as he held me, his natural instincts warring with appeasing my desire to see this through. When he lifted me in his arms I thought for sure that he was going to take me out of there, away from danger, but he just carried me closer to the frightened screams of the children.

“Thank you, Spike,” I murmured.

He just grunted and continued down the stairs.

I must have faded out again, because when I came to it was to hear Ryan screaming hysterically. The demon had him pinned down against a crate and the poor child was struggling furiously.

“Lemme down.”

Spike set me down and held me steady as I adjusted to having my feet on the ground. Another scream sounded and I pushed everything aside – my dizziness, my exhaustion – everything faded to the background as I charged the demon sucking the energy from Ryan. I plowed into it, knocking the thing from the child’s back, sending us both tumbling to the ground.

~*~*~*~*~

Spike watched helplessly as the slayer was plucked from the ground and thrown against the wall. Some invisible force hurtling her back and forth across the room, tossed about like so much garbage. In her weakened state, she was powerless to stop whatever it was fighting her.

He growled, his human mask fading as his demonic features became prominent. He’d hoped that he would be able to see the demon, or at least catch its scent to aid the slayer as she fought. But, he could detect nothing.

After a particularly brutal slam into the wall, she crumpled to the ground and lay still, and his eyes narrowed on the children huddling behind a crate as their screams intensified. Apparently the thing had gotten tired of beating up on the slayer and was eager to reclaim its prize.

“Spike…the children.”

Plagued momentarily by indecision, he rushed towards her, pulling her close and burying his fangs in her neck. Her tainted blood flooded his mouth and he took several deep pulls before letting her go, licking sloppily at her neck to seal the wounds as the virus raced through his body. Laying her gently back against the floor, he turned and gained his feet, swaying slightly.

“Bugger me,” he murmured, eyes going wide as he spotted the demon gaining on the children. He raced after him, gripping its arms and tossing him away. Spike could sense someone coming down the stairs. Human. He had to end this now and escape with the slayer.

Rushing towards the demon, he quickly snapped its neck and let the thing drop to the ground beside him. He didn’t spare it a glance as he rushed back to the slayer’s side, urging her to her feet so they could make their escape.

~*~*~*~*~

“Time to go, pet.”

His accented voice sounded faintly in my ear as cool hands urged me to stand.

“The children?” I murmured drowsily.

“Safe.”

I nodded, leaning heavily against him as we moved towards the door.

“Buffy,” Giles’ voice rang out in the basement.

Whirling around, I saw the crossbow pointed at Spike and hurriedly moved to stand in front of him.

“Giles!” I exclaimed. “What are you doing here?”

How had he known? I’d been so sure that I’d managed to steer him clear of what I was doing, had been doing. I could see the confusion, the disbelief, in his eyes as I stood in front of Spike, protecting him from the crossbow aimed straight at the vampire’s heart.

“Move out of the way, Buffy.”

“No,” I argued as I moved us backwards toward the rear exit. “You don’t understand…”

Behind me I could hear Spike growling, angered at the weapon pointed our way.

“What’s gotten in to you? It’s Spike.”

“I know, Giles,” I whispered softly, unsure whether or not he’d heard me.

I hung my head, not wanting to see his eyes cloud with disappointment at what I was doing. This man, who’d been my father figure since I’d moved to Sunnydale.

Run, my mind urged. Escape from his all-seeing eyes. Can’t let him know that I’ve given up.

A sound pulled me from the silent observation of my toes, my head snapping up to notice how close Giles had gotten.

The abrupt movement must have dislodged the hair from around my neck, because I watched his gaze zero in on the spot of Spike’s recent bite. No matter that this time he’d done it to save me. I waited for the revulsion to mar his normally stoic features. I could practically see the wheels turning in his head as he put the bite marks on my body together with the vampire standing at my back. Saw the moment it happened as his crossbow moved slightly to center over my heart instead. I waited. Waited for him to pull the trigger and launch the arrow towards me. Ignoring the snarls from Spike at this latest threat from my watcher, I just barely managed to keep him behind me as we continued to backpedal towards the exit door.

“I’m sorry, Giles.”

I heard Spike fiddle with the knob, then the cool night air brushed over my fevered skin. My feet abruptly left the ground as I was lifted in Spike’s arms, my eyes closing wearily as he escaped into the night.

“Buffy!” Giles cried, but it was a distant voice that washed over my ears as Spike’s vampiric speed increased the distance between us and the hospital. My eyes closed as I nestled in the cool embrace of my vampire, his movements barely jostling me as I let the exhaustion from the fight with the demon overtake me.

~*~*~*~*~

Spike hurried inside the room, eager to see the slayer settled in bed. His head was still swimming slightly from her tainted blood and he wanted nothing more than to lie down beside her and regroup.

Depositing her on the silken sheets, he quickly removed the slayer’s hospital gown and settled her under the covers. He pulled his own clothes off and slipped in behind her, pulling her fevered body back against his. It wasn’t long before he’d absorbed her heat, draped around her as he was.

His legs still smarted from his headlong run away from the hospital. But, it was a good kind of pain – one that signified the full return of his limbs just sore from lack of use. He’d give himself a week to be back at full strength.

~*~*~*~*~

“Why haven’t you killed me yet?” I asked him sometime later.

Neither one of us had been sleeping, just lying still upon the bed, my back snuggled intimately against his chest as my body struggled to combat the virus that had enabled me to see the Death demon. His fingers stilled their soothing movement along my arm.

“Dunno, pet. Haven’ much thought about it.”

I turned in his arms and stared up into his eyes – noting the blue depths that couldn’t hide his lie. He’d thought about it. A lot. Then it dawned on me…

“You’re gonna turn me, aren’t you?”

I held my breath and waited. Denial. Confirmation. I wasn’t sure at this point. Strange that the thought didn’t put me off one way or the other. My life was predestined to end soon. He was just giving me a chance to extend that date.

“You’re mine. ‘M not gonna let you go.”

As if to prove his words, to himself, and to me, his arms tightened almost painfully around my back. His mouth dipped to ravage my lips, daring me to deny his claim.

I didn’t want to. I was past caring about my “calling,” nothing good had ever come of it.
And, some part of me knew that Spike cared for me. Besides, better to spend my unlife with him than whatever time I had left as a slayer alone, surrounded by friends that only wanted to put me upon a pedestal. Some fucking warrior of light that could do no wrong.

Didn’t they know I’m also just a girl? Wanting to love and be loved in return? Oh, I know the house with the white picket fence and the two point five kids wasn’t something that I’d ever have. But I shouldn’t have to be alone.

Maybe if the Council hadn’t spent so much time isolating their slayers, they’d live longer.

My arms moved to circle Spike’s neck, holding him close. His lips gentled on mine as if sensing my capitulation. My agreement. I was his. Had been since that first day I’d returned to the warehouse to see him sprawled naked upon the bed.

I wasn’t the least bit surprised when he pushed me to my back. My legs parted automatically to allow him to slip inside. And he did. Burying himself deep in one long, smooth stroke. I arched into his thrust, thrilling at the way he seemed to fill me to near bursting.

“Mine” was a litany he chanted as he moved inside me, and it pleased me that I’d made someone feel this way. Made him feel this way. Wasn’t it every girl’s wish to have someone look at you as if you were the one? As if you alone had the power to make them lose control. Man…demon…it didn’t matter.

Then thoughts failed me as I was overcome by the sensation of him sliding in and out of my pussy, angling his hips to allow me to reach my peak and sail over the edge. My legs wrapped around his back as his pace increased.

Our joint cries echoed in the empty warehouse as we each reach our orgasm. The sound of the other’s name shouted to the rafters.

His weight felt heavenly as he collapsed on top of me. Delicious chills went up and down my spine as he nuzzled my neck, his lips and blunt teeth nibbling on my flesh. My hands lifted to play in his hair, luxuriating in the feel of his silky strands as they slipped through my fingers.

“Spike?”

Lips stilled and he lifted his head to look down at me.

“Yeah, pet?”

“Promise me something?”

I watched as his brow arched, and the request rushed from my mouth before I could change my mind.

“Take me away…when…you know…just take me away from here. I couldn’t bear...”

“Shhh…”

“I just…”

“I know, luv.”

My eyes filled with unshed tears that he understood. Knew that I couldn’t handle it if I went after the others. My mother. My watcher.

Even though we’d drifted apart this past month or so, they were still my friends. My family.

“Thank you.”

He nodded, gifting me with a lopsided grin that appeared surprisingly human, and I returned it with one of my own.

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