Chapter Eight

When the three women had cleaned up all the blood and re-splinted the broken bones, they were left with nothing to do but stare anxiously at the immobile vampire and wonder if and when he was going to wake up. They had cleaned up his head as best they could and pulled the pieces of his skull into place. Buffy used butterfly bandages to hold the pieces of his scalp closed over the broken bone and hoped that was enough to help it close itself back up.

She sent her mother and Willow downstairs to warm up some pig’s blood for him and to get them out of her way. She knew what he needed, and she knew there was only one way to get him to start swallowing. She pulled a sharp knife from her boot and quickly ran it across her wrist. She held the bleeding wrist under his nose briefly to be sure he scented her blood, then she gently pressed it to his swollen lips, coaxing, “Come on, Spike. It’s Slayer blood. You know you want it. Come on, drink from me. Please?”

For several tense seconds she worried that he was too far gone and she was surprised at the way her stomach clenched at the thought. Just as she was about to pull her arm away in despair, his tongue slid out and touched the blood that she was allowing to drip into his mouth. He licked her wrist gently and then his face shifted and he fastened his mouth on it and began taking strong pulls of her magical blood.

“That’s it Spike. Drink up, baby. It’s not like I’m going to offer this everyday.”

When she felt herself getting a little dizzy, she pulled her wrist away from his mouth and wrapped it tightly. She lay down on the bed beside him, being careful not to touch his bruised body, and rested until she heard her mother coming back upstairs with Spike’s blood.

Her mother made no comment when she saw Buffy’s bandaged wrist, just told her that Giles had filled her in on how Spike saved her life and what had happened to him because of it. The grim look on her mother’s face when she mentioned Riley’s name made Buffy wonder briefly if her mother might have been a potential Slayer who just never got called.

The heavy pulls of Buffy’s blood had stirred Spike’s demon enough that she could hold the pig’s blood up to his mouth and he sucked it through the straw. He sucked and swallowed, but gave no other sign that he was at all aware or awake.

When she had got as much pig’s blood into him as he would take, Buffy thanked her mother for her help and told her she was staying in Spike’s room until he woke up. Joyce asked to see the wound that Spike had taken care of for her, and flinched when Buffy rolled her sleeve up. She looked from the still angry-looking scar on her daughter’s arm to the immobile vampire on the bed and nodded her head.

“I’ll bring you some pillows and blankets,” she said and left the room.

Buffy used the time she was gone to move Spike over slightly and pull the top covers out from under him. She removed the towel she had placed over his groin; admittingf to herself that it had been as much to keep her mind on what she was doing as it was to protect his modesty. Something told her Spike had no modesty to protect. She took one quick look at his now-relaxed penis and remembered how it had felt in her hand when it was full and hard.

She shook herself and pulled the covers up over his no-longer bleeding body. She knew vampires didn’t really feel the cold, but she hoped being warm would promote some healing. She was trying to feel guilty about looking at Spike’s naked body while he was unconscious, but she knew somehow that he wouldn’t have objected.

“Not too sure how you’ll feel about my mom being there, though,” she whispered to him as she tucked the blankets around his neck. She brushed his forehead with her lips and went to the door to get the pillows and blankets from her mother. Before she settled down onto her temporary bed on the floor, she carefully pulled all the drapes and made sure no trace of sun was going to leak in with the dawn.

With Buffy still recovering from her own blood loss and injury, plus the blood she had just given Spike, she feel quickly into an exhausted slumber and didn’t move until her mother touched her gently on the shoulder in the morning.

“Buffy, honey, wake up a minute.”

“Wha-? Huh?” the Slayer opened bleary eyes and blinked at her mother. She looked around in bewilderment for a minute when she saw she was on the floor of the guest room, then remembered and spun around to look at the man on the bed. He looked much the same as he had the night before, but already his bones were knitting and his bruises were fading.

Buffy gave a sigh of relief and turned to her mother.

“I’m leaving now, honey. I just wanted to be sure you were okay and to tell you there’s juice in the fridge and Spike’s blood is in there too. Giles wants you to call him when you get up.”

“Okay, Mom. Thank you,” she said as she curled back up in her blankets and went immediately back to sleep.

The next time she opened her eyes, she looked up to see startlingly blue ones staring down at her from the side of the bed. Her heart jumped when she absorbed the fact that he was awake. She sat up quickly, which put her face right next to his head. She quickly realized that he was not really recovered, but had just turned over far enough to look down at her.

“Good morning,” she said softly, resisting the urge to run her fingers over his face. “How do you feel?”

“It’s kinda interesting, pet. On the one hand, I feel like I got run over by a whole herd of trucks; and on the other...” he looked at her intently, “I feel like I just had a whopping dose of Slayer blood. ‘Course, I know there’s no one aroun’ here dumb enough to give up any more blood than she’d already lost, don’t I?”

He glared at her angrily, but behind the anger was something that looked strangely like...fear?

She raised her hand, no longer able to resist the urge to touch him and assure herself that he was really speaking to her, and when she did, he spotted the bandage on her wrist.

“Bloody hell, Slayer!” Are you insane?”

“I had no choice!” she snapped back at him. “you weren’t responding to anything and we had to get some blood into you. I though mine might wake the demon up enough to drink. And it worked. So there!” She crossed her arms over her chest and glared at him triumphantly.

“It was bloody stupid, love. I might have drained you.” He allowed his head to fall back onto the pillow and stared up at the ceiling.

“I knew you wouldn’t,” she said softly. “Anyway, you were too weak to drain anybody, let alone a Slayer.” She paused for a moment, then said in a small voice, “you scared me, Spike. I wasn’t sure I-we’d get you back.”

“Can’t get rid of me that easily, Slayer,” he smiled up at the ceiling. “You know me. I always come back.”

“Well so far, you have. Let’s not push it, huh?” she said as she stood up shakily. He frowned at her when he saw how unsteady she was on her feet.

“Buffy? Luv? Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just a little dizzy. I’m going downstairs to get something to eat and some juice. I’ll bring your blood with me when I come back up.”

As she turned to go, she unobtrusively scooped the chip off the nightstand. As much as she told herself she was coming to trust him, she wasn’t ready for him to know that he was no longer muzzled. She slipped the little piece of silicone into her pocket as she left the room.
 

Mucho thank yous to everyone who has been reviewing. I just haven't had time to thank everyone personally and still be able to work on the story. For those of you wondering where the smut is (cause, I know, that's how it started out), I'm sure it's coming (blush, pun). It's just that right now bad things are happening, somebody's always injured and they're taking that time to get to know each other a little and maybe build a little something more than a craving for each other's bodies. Doesn't mean they don't want those bodies, and aren't going to get them eventually.....Have faith.

Chapter Nine

It was very obvious to Joyce that, Slayer and vampire healing to the contrary, neither one of the two blonds was ready to be doing anything very strenuous. At her insistence, they spent the next two days in her house.

The first day Buffy spent most of her time watching television and drinking and eating to get back up to full strength. Although she had been pretty much recovered from her close call with the gopher-demon when she took on Riley’s squad, she hadn’t been at 100%. That fight and losing even the small amount of blood she allowed Spike to drink had really depleted her physically and she was happy to lie around and rest for a day or so.

Spike spent most of the time sleeping; waking up only long enough to swallow the mugs of pig’s blood that Buffy brought him every few hours. He seemed to be healing, but remained in pain. He stayed in bed in the guest room, too weak to follow Buffy downstairs to watch tv. A fierce look from her mother had been enough to move Buffy out of Spike’s room and into her own once he was obviously recovering.

In reality, Buffy was grateful for her mother’s sense of propriety as she was still struggling with her feelings for the blond vampire.

(Okay, there’s lust. Lots of lust. From both of us. No sense denying that. But lust is just...lust. Annoying, but it can be dealt with. Cold showers, quality boyfriend time – wait, scratch that – nice, normal boyfriend has become a non-starter. So, no more boyfriend to take the edge off the lust. Not a problem. I can control myself. But suppose it isn’t just lust? Why is Spike being so nice to me? And why was I so scared when I thought he might dust? I can’t do this again. Not another vampire. People get hurt when I let myself fall in –nope, no falling. There will be no falling here.)

After the second day, Buffy was too bored and edgy to remain at her mother’s and she returned to school and to the dorm. Before she left, she helped Spike get down the stairs and installed on the couch with a mug of blood beside him.

“I’ll come back and check on you this afternoon,” she told him as she fussed around him, reluctant to leave but too bored and antsy to stay put.

“Go on, Slayer. I’m a big boy. I think I can handle lazin’ on the couch without spontaneously combustin’. Go be a college girl. And, Buffy?”

She looked at him curiously.

“Try to learn something, luv.” He laughed as she glared at him and flounced toward the door.

“Fine. I’m off then,” she huffed, somewhat put out that he didn’t seem to want her there.

“Slayer.” His quiet voice stopped her indignant exit. “I’m not really up for a rescue mission right now so stay away from fraternity boys.”

“I’ll be careful,” she said as she pulled the door shut behind her.

“Thank you,” he said softly to the closed door.

With the drapes carefully pulled shut, it was possible for Spike to loll on the couch in the living room and watch Passions. He made sure to tape it for Joyce in case she didn’t get to see it at the gallery.

Although he was outwardly much better, including having grown back the two teeth that were knocked out, the broken bones had not healed completely and he was still in a lot of pain from internal injuries. When Buffy got back that evening, she noticed him wincing as he shifted to reach for the mug of blood she was holding out. She knelt down beside the couch and looked at him closely.

“You aren’t really healed yet, are you?” she asked softly.

He looked back at her and admitted ruefully, “Not really, pet. Those tin soldiers did a pretty good job on my insides with their boots. Would make decent footballers, some of them.”

“Mom says you can stay here as long as you need to. You know that, don’t you? She really likes you,” Buffy added with a smile.

He looked at her intently enough to make her nervous, then relaxed and smiled easily.

“I really like her too, luv. Treats me like a man, she does. Even before I had the chip, she was always nice to me.” He peered at Buffy from under his eyebrows and smirked as he said, “’course I never told her I was trying to kill her daughter all those times I came through town....”

“Uh, yeah. Think that might have made a difference.” She looked at him hard. “I almost had a heart attack when she told me you’d been coming to see her before you had the chip. I can’t believe you didn’t try to kill her, or kidnap her or something to get to me.”

“Don’t play that way, luv. I wanted to beat you fair and square – just us dancin’. No weapons, no spells, just you and me. No reason to put your mum in the middle of it.”

“What about now?” she asked softly, as she looked down at the floor so she wouldn’t have to meet his perceptive gaze. “Do you still want to dance with me?”

“I’ll never get over wantin’ to dance with you, Buffy. Fightin’ with you is the most fun I’ve had in my unlife.” He paused and tilted her chin up so he could look into her eyes. “But the urge to kill you seems to have got lost somewhere between you takin’ me in when I was starvin’ and Red’s bloody engagement spell.”

Buffy sat frozen in place, her chin still resting lightly on his fingertips. She was mesmerized by the emotions she could see in his expressive blue eyes. Suddenly his cool fingers were burning into her skin and she felt herself moving toward his face. Her gaze dropped from his eyes to his lips and before she could wonder what she was doing, she was kissing him.

She kept the kiss soft and gentle, not sure how healed his lips really were, and not willing to let the lust they admittedly felt for each other take over. To her surprise, he seemed more than willing to keep the kiss soft and tender. He moved his fingers from her chin to the side of her cheek and cupped her face with his hands.

Several minutes of soft, gentle pressure with his lips and she was changing her mind about deepening the kiss. As though he could read her mind, his cool tongue ran lightly around her lower lip, asking, but not demanding an entrance. Buffy’s lips parted with a sigh and she stroked his questing tongue with her own warm little pink one.

Again, neither of them was willing to rush into anything more passionate. Buffy continued to kneel in front of him, her hands resting lightly on his knees as he held her face between his callused hands and allowed his lips and tongue to express everything he knew he shouldn’t say.

When Spike slanted his head and deepened the kiss again, Buffy gave a little moan and leaned into him, putting pressure on his legs as she shifted her weight. When she felt him flinch, she was reminded of how bruised he still was and she immediately pulled back, an apology on her lips.

“Oh God, your legs! I’m so sorry. I forgot...”

“’S okay, luv. I forgot too. Was really not thinkin’ about my legs just then.”

His arms were still extended as she pulled her face out of his hands and after a second’s indecision, he allowed them to drop down onto her shoulders. Buffy reached up and covered his hands with her own small ones as she looked at him anxiously.

“Shouldn’t you be better by now? Is something wrong?”

“Nothin’s wrong, luv. I’m just healing a little slower than I might otherwise. It’s not a big deal. I’ll get there. I’d like to get there a little faster, in case you need help patroling or somethin’, but it’s comin’.”

“Why aren’t you healing faster?” she demanded. “Are you not getting enough blood? I’ll go get you some more –“ she was stopped from running to the kitchen by his hands putting light pressure on her shoulders.

“I’m getting plenty of blood, pet. I’m sure I’ve wiped out most of pigs in Southern California. Just let it go. I’ll be fine.”

“I’ve seen vampires heal before. It shouldn’t be taking this long for those bones to knit. Something’s not right. Rest and blood – that’s all you ....” she stopped and looked at him with eyes widened in sudden understanding.

“Human blood. You need human blood to heal. That’s what’s wrong. Why didn’t you say something?”

“Didn’t think you’d want me eating humans, Buffy,” he said gently as he looked away from her. “Didn’t want to remind you that--”

She stared at the vampire in surprise. “Didn’t want to remind me what? That you’re a vampire? I never forget that, Spike. I can never let myself forget that,” she added so softly he almost didn’t hear it.

She looked down again as she whispered to herself and missed the look of pain that flashed across his face at her first words. Spike let himself fall back against the pillows, sliding his hands off her shoulders and folding them across his chest.

“It’s alright, luv. I’ll heal just fine on the pig’s blood. Jus’ gonna take longer, that’s all.” He didn’t look at her as he added, “If you think you’re gonna need the extra muscle right away, you could prob’ly get Willie to deliver a couple of pints. Tell him to put it on my tab.”

Buffy didn’t answer him. She sat back on her heels, her mind whirling.

(Spike’s been staying away from human blood because of me? He’s not drinking it, even bagged? What would happen if he knew he wasn’t chipped any more? Is he even going to be able to heal properly without the right kind of blood? What if he can’t heal on pig’s blood?)

She moved closer to the couch and gently lifted his legs up, so that he was stretched out with his head resting on the pillows. He looked at her curiously as she leaned against the couch and rested her head on it beside him.

“I don’t need you to help me right now, Spike. I don’t think Walsh is going to be sending her boys out after me anytime soon. She should have all the information she needs about me by now.”

He cocked his head and raised his eyebrow at her. “Yeah?” he asked.

She smiled up at him briefly. “Oh, yeah.”

He continued to look at her with a question in his eyes and she frowned before answering.

“Do you remember anything about the other night. When you got hurt?”

“I remember the whelp being thrown against the wall. Was a little busy after that. What with the chip firin’ when I tried to hit the wankers and getting the shit kicked out of me. Can’t say I remember much after they started on me with those nightsticks.”

Buffy winced in sympathy at the reminder of what he had endured at the hands of humans.

“Well, when I found you, Xander was unconscious and bleeding and you were...” she shuddered at the memory of his inert body being systematically beaten by the soldiers. A cool hand to her cheek reminded her that he was safe on her couch and she continued to speak as she leaned into his hand.

“Anyway, she already knew about my healing – and for some reason she seemed to know you helped me.” Buffy stopped to frown at that memory, then shrugged it off as a puzzle for another day. “Now she knows a little more about how strong I am and how angry I can get. There’s no way Riley will be able to hide what happened to his squad from her. Unless he lies about what did it....”

She looked up suddenly. “Do you think he’ll lie? That he might not tell her it was me?”

Spike ran his fingers through her silky hair and she shut her eyes briefly to enjoy the soothing feeling.

“Well, if I was Capt’n Cardboard, I don’t think I’d be real eager to say that a tiny little girl had beat up my whole squad.” He looked down at her sharply. “You DID beat on them, didn’t you, pet?”

“Oh yeah. Major beat downage. Broken bones, the whole bit. I guarantee you the only one that isn’t in the hospital right now is Riley.”

“Guess you didn’t want to hurt him, huh?” he said in a neutral tone, but she noticed that the gentle stroking of her head had stopped.

“I wanted to kill him.” She said coldly. “But he wasn’t stupid enough to attack me, so I had to let him go. Anyway, I was more worried about you by that point. You were so.....” her voice trailed off and she looked up at him with tears hovering in her eyes.

“Sh, luv. It’s okay. I’m alright now. And I’m safe here with you and your mum.” He looked embarrassed for a minute and mumbled, “Not that a master vampire has any business hidin’ behind a couple of women, even if one of them is the Slayer.”

“Hey!” Buffy tried to sound perky and cheery. “You took care of me, I took care of you. That’s all it is. You’re not hiding. You’re...resting. Anyway, it’s not like I’m just an ordinary woman, you know.”

“I know, pet. Trust me, I know that better than you can imagine.”

He looked at her with such open admiration and affection that she had to duck her head and blush. Vowing to herself that she would pick up some O neg from Willie’s the next day, she relaxed back against the couch and settled in to watch tv with the resident vampire. After a few minutes, he tentatively resumed his gentle stroking of her head, running her silky hair through his hands as he did so. Buffy found it so relaxing, she fell asleep with her head resting on the cushion and that’s how Joyce found them when she got home. Her daughter’s head resting comfortably on the couch with the vampire’s hand resting protectively against her cheek.

AN: Can't put something this long up on my site, so I've arbitrarily split the chapter and put the rest of it on as Ch. 10 1/2.

Chapter Ten

Deciding she didn’t want to embarrass either of the two blonds asleep in her living room, Joyce went back outside and re-entered the house much more noisily than before. Buffy sprang to her feet and faced the door threateningly while Spike pulled himself up to a sitting position and tried to look he was only not standing because he didn’t want to.

Joyce smiled at them both and said, “Relax, it’s only me. Although I could use some extra-strong help with the groceries,” she said pointedly to Buffy. When Spike went to try to get to his feet, both women turned on him simultaneously to shout, “Not you”. It was easy for him to tell which words came from Buffy as her command included, “you moron.”

“Buffy, he was just trying to help.” Her mother looked at her reproachfully.

“Stupid vampire,” Buffy muttered as she went out the door to get the packages.

Joyce smiled apologetically at the vampire who had slumped back against the pillows with a grimace.

“She’s right, Spike. You shouldn’t have tried to stand up so quickly. Who knows how much damage losing that chip did...” One look at the thunderstruck vampire, and she knew Buffy hadn’t told him about the chip. “Oh, damn,” she said softly. “She didn’t tell you, did she?”

The vampire didn’t answer her; just shut his eyes and wiped all expression from his face. When Buffy came back in the house, arms full of groceries, it took her a minute to pick up on the tense silence. She walked right to the kitchen, chattering about the contents of the bags and didn’t notice that no one was answering her until she got back into the living room.

She looked back and forth between her nervous mother and the impassive vampire and cocked her head inquisitively.

“Uh, What’s up, guys? I was only gone for a minute. What could have happened in that amount of time?”

She turned to the unresponsive vampire on the couch to demand, “What did you do, Spike?” She ignored his flinch at her accusing tone, and turned to her mother to ask, “Mom? What happened here?”

“I...I’m sorry, Buffy. I didn’t realize you hadn’t told Spike about the chip yet. I’m afraid I –“

“You TOLD him? He knows?” She whirled to find the blond vampire had opened his eyes and was glaring at her furiously.

“Tell me, pet,” he asked her evenly as his eyes burned holes in her, “how long were you plannin’ to let me go around like this? Runnin’ and hidin’ from those wankers, thinkin’ I couldn’t fight back?”

Buffy stared at the angry vampire and felt the first tremors of fear in her gut. She wasn’t afraid for herself or her mother. She knew he wouldn’t hurt Joyce, and he was certainly not strong enough to hurt her or any of her friends. What was making her stomach churn was the terror she felt for herself if he started feeding again.

(I can’t do this. I can’t kill another vampire I...Oh Spike, don’t do this to me. Don’t make me have to kill you. Please don’t make me...)

Something about the obvious anguish and fear in Buffy’s eyes penetrated the angry fog filling Spike’s being. The fear puzzled him completely. He knew she wasn’t afraid of him. What the hell was she so afraid of? And why did she look so miserable?

(Bloody hell. She doesn’t trust me. That’s it. She’s afraid I’m going to start killing again.)

His angry glare faded to a look of complete disappointment and he once again laid his head back against the pillows and shut his eyes tightly.

(Maybe if I keep my eyes shut, I can forget what her face looked like when she found out I knew I was free to kill. Maybe.)

Joyce looked back and forth between her daughter and the man she’d come to think of as a friend, trying to read the emotions she could see crossing their faces. She didn’t feel like she knew enough about her daughter’s calling to give her advice on how to do her job; but she also knew in her heart that they had nothing to fear from the vampire. Chip or no chip, the man she’d seen sleeping with his hand resting protectively on her daughter’s cheek was never going to be a danger to them.

She thought back to what little Buffy had shared with her about Angelus/Angel and how she had killed him to save the world. The emotional fallout from that act had been enough to send her running away from both home and her calling for almost four months. Suddenly she knew why Buffy was so upset.

(She cares about this vampire. She’s worried she’s going to have to kill him too. Oh Buffy, can’t you see he would never do anything to hurt you?)

Clearing her throat loudly, Joyce picked up her purse and said brightly, “I think I forgot something at the gallery. I’m just going to run out and...and get it.” She paused when neither of them even acknowledged her presence. “You two need to talk and you need to do it now before this has a chance to fester and spoil your...whatever.” She felt she had done all she could to atone for her slip of the tongue, and she left the house, closing the door softly behind her.

For minutes after she left there was nothing but crushing silence in the room. Buffy stood staring at Spike with tear-filled eyes as he stubbornly kept his own eyes shut and tried to ignore her. With neither one being very good at impulse control, it was no surprise when they tried to speak at the same time.

“Slayer –“

“Spike—“

The vampire opened his eyes and looked at her with his face closed.

“Ladies first,” he said flatly.

Buffy looked at the floor and rubbed her hands on her thighs as she tried to find the right words.

“I was going to tell you,” she finally said softly. “It just didn’t seem important as long as you were here, safe, with me--us.”

“It didn’t seem important? Or it didn’t seem safe? It’s not like you could hide the fear on your face, Slayer. You’re terrified that my chip is out, aren’t you?”

“I told you before, I’m not afraid of you.”

“You’re afraid of what I’ll do. Same thing, innit?” He cocked his head and looked at her sadly. “Don’t know why. If I start killin’ again you’ll just stake me. Problem solved.”

“You think it’s that simple?” she glared at him eyes that brimmed with tears she refused to acknowledge. “Spike starts eating people, I stake him. That’s that?”

“Isn’t it?” he asked, staring at her intently. “Isn’t it just that simple, Vampire Slayer? What’s the problem?” He listened to her heart racing as he forced her to confront the truth.

(Please, love. Tell me it’s not that simple. Tell me you can’t do it.)
Buffy glared at him, refusing to let the tears fall from her eyes as she struggled to make herself believe that it was really that simple.

(Could I do it? He saved my life. We’ve kissed – a lot. I want to kiss him some more. I want him to touch me. I want--)

“I don’t want to stake you,” she almost whispered as she clutched herself to keep from shaking. “I can’t do that again.” She looked up at him with brimming eyes to ask, “Are you going to make me do it, Spike? Are you going to make me kill you?”

He closed his eyes again briefly and gave a sigh of relief. “I would never do anything to hurt you, Buffy.” His eyes flew open and fixed on her face. “You have to know that. You’re not blind.”

“I’m not worried about you hurting me,” she said as coldly as she could.

“Yes, you are,” he said softly. “You’re afraid I’m going to make you kill me.” There was a short pause, then he added, “And that would hurt you. Almost as much as causing you that kind of pain would hurt me. I won’t do that to you, love. You have my word.”

There was another silence while they stared at each other and struggled to accept the changes in their relationship that the past several weeks had wrought.

Buffy finally broke the lengthy silence by looking away and muttering, “I have to get back to the dorm. Let’s get you back upstairs for the night.”

Accepting the tentative apology for what it was, the vampire nodded and tried to stand up. As soon as he was on his feet, his vision turned black and he felt himself falling forward, only to be caught in soft, strong arms that lowered him gently to the floor.

When his vision cleared he looked up to see Buffy’s worried face only inches from his own. Her eyes searched his anxiously and clouded up at the pain she saw reflected there.

“This isn’t right. You should be healing faster.”

“Buffy, love, do you remember when you dropped that organ on me? Do you remember puttin’ me in the wheelchair?”

She nodded reluctantly, wondering why he was bringing up what had to be a painful memory for him.

“Do you know how long I was in that soddin’ chair?” he growled.

She thought back to what had been some of the worst months of her young life when Angelus had stalked her friends, killed Jenny and tried to end the world. She realized that she hadn’t seen much of Spike for that entire unhappy time until he showed up to make a truce with her. She shook her head “no” and waited for him to tell her.

“Months, Buffy. I was in that bleedin’ chair for months. I was gettin’ nothin’ to eat but what Dru remembered to bring me when she wasn’t chasin’ around after her precious ‘Daddy’. Angelus sure as hell wasn’t going to feed me. So I got whatever Dru brought in. Sometimes it was human, sometimes it wasn’t. She even brought me a bloody puppy once! Cute lil’ thing. I didn’t eat it. Wonder what ever happened to him...?”

“Spike! Focus. Was there a point in there somewhere?”

“Yeah, love, sorry. The point is that it takes a lot longer to heal from serious injuries if you’re not getting the ....” His voice trailed off as he realized what he was saying and he quickly tried to backtrack. “I mean, it just takes longer than you think for a vampire to recover from a beatin’ like the one I took. And you add the chipectomy to that and—“

She stopped him by putting a finger gently against his mouth. He had to fight not to pull it in and begin sucking on it, but settled for kissing it softly as he waited for her to speak.

“So, we’re back to what I said earlier. You need human blood to heal properly.”

Her voice had no inflection in it and he couldn’t tell what she was thinking.

“No, no, I don’t, love. My point was that I DON’T need human blood. I can heal just fine without it. It’s jus’ gonna take a while. That’s all.”

He looked at her anxiously; willing her to see what he was saying.

(Don’t want her to think I have to kill to feed. Don’t want her to think humans have to die so I won’t.)

Buffy studied his face carefully for a minute, then shrugged and stood up, helping him to stand with her. One look at his grimacing face made up her mind for her and she carefully grasped him around the waist and lifted him off the floor. As carefully as she could, she maneuvered him to the stairs and up to his bed in the guest room.

When she put him on the bed, he fell back on the pillow, exhausted by his fight to not scream with the pain that even Buffy’s best efforts couldn’t spare him. His eyes were closed so he missed the determined look on Buffy’s face as she watched him.

He opened one eye when he felt the mattress give under her weight, and turned his head to see her climbing up beside him. She leaned over and gave him a chaste kiss on his lips as she said, “I’m going to fix you. No puppy dogs for my guy.”

Spike was so fixated on hearing himself referred to as “her guy”, that he didn’t realized what she was doing until her wrist was under his nose and she was pressing it against his lips. He couldn’t resist inhaling her scent as she held the pulse point right under his nose. His nostrils flared as his senses were overwhelmed by the smell of Slayer/Buffy. Without conscious volition, his tongue snaked out and licked at the pulsing artery right in front of his mouth. Buffy shivered as his tongue ran across the scar left from several nights earlier.

When he felt her shiver, he realized what he was doing and stopped immediately, instead kissing the scar and then gently moving her arm away from his face.

“What are you doin’, love?” he asked rhetorically. It was very obvious what she was offering him and he trembled as he fought his demon back. He held her wrist and gently rubbed on the pulse with his thumb. He could feel it pounding, even as he heard her heart beating strongly and steadily.

She fixed her eyes on his and said firmly, “I, being the Slayer, and therefore infinitely superior to a vampire,” she smirked as he huffed indignantly, “am fully recovered from the blood I lost and can more than spare you a few mouthfuls to tide you over until I can get to Willie’s.”

She dropped the teasing tone and asked him softly, “Please, Spike. Let me do this for you. I can’t stand seeing you like this. Not when I know it isn’t necessary.”

He stared back at her in awe. He’d know for weeks that he was falling in love with the woman whose role it was to kill his kind. But until he had a chance to see her unselfishness and compassion up close, he’d been able to attribute his feelings to the undeniable lust he felt every time he saw her. That crutch was now gone.

(Bloody hell. She’s turned me back into William. I would die for this woman. Don’t care if she doesn’t love me back. I’m hers forever. Never want to be anywhere else.)

Buffy watched the emotions play out across his expressive face and knew that they had just reached a different and much more frightening place in their relationship than the mutual desire that had always been there. There was no denying what she could see reflected in the vampire’s eyes.

(And what does he see looking back at him, I wonder? Why is it suddenly so important to me that he isn’t in pain? Have I fallen in love with another vampire? Where do we go from here?)

Chapter Ten 1/2

After what felt like hours of mutually terrified oh-my-god-I’m-in-love type staring, Spike nodded his head and patted the space beside him on the bed. Blushing slightly, Buffy eased down beside him and offered her wrist again. Spike smiled at her and gently stoked her face.

“Do you trust me?” he asked softly.

She nodded without speaking and he leaned forward and kissed her tenderly. As it had downstairs, the soft, tender kisses evolved into much deeper, more intense ones and Buffy was soon moaning softly into his mouth as the heat spread throughout her body. He slid his arm gently around her waist and pulled her as close to his body as he could, pressing his growing erection into her hip.

As Buffy tentatively put her arms around him, trying not to squeeze too hard and hurt him, he began kissing his way down her neck. When he reached the point where her pulse was audibly pounding in her throat, he licked the area thoroughly, then sucked on it, pulling blood to the surface. His free hand was skimming Buffy’s body, leaving heated trails wherever it touched and causing her to grind her pelvis into his.

She didn’t even notice when he shifted into game face and slid his razor-sharp fangs into her throat, but when he began pulling long draughts of blood into his mouth, she felt them all the way down to her womb. An incredible lassitude came over her and she melted into his body, surrendering completely to the pleasure he was giving her.

She could feel tension building in her lower body, and when, with one last hard pull Spike growled into her throat, she shuddered with an unexpected orgasm that caused her to involuntarily clutch him tightly. His hissed response told her she was probably hurting him, and she let go quickly; an embarrassed apology on her lips.

He shushed her with a kiss, then went back to licking the wounds he’d made on her throat until they were closed up. Every lick of his tongue across the bite sent a tingle through Buffy’s body and she shivered in delight. When the bite was healed enough to suit him, he moved back up to her face and kissed her again before tilting his head back to look at her.

“You know I’ll be back on my feet by tomorrow now, don’t you?” He could feel the elixir that was Slayer blood flowing through his body, strengthening bones, healing internal injuries, and making him so hard he almost groaned when Buffy shifted away from him slightly.

He pulled her back into his body and pressed his throbbing erection into her again.

“Ah, ah, Slayer. You’re responsible for this problem. Now what’re you plannin’ to do about it?” As he whispered in her ear, he was running his hand down her side to the bottom of her shirt and back up to caress the bare skin on her back.

“I’m gonna finished what I started a long time ago,” she grinned at him and pulled his hand away from her back. “You just lie there and heal. I’ll take care of this little ‘problem’”

“Little!” his indignant snort and the accompanying glare sent her into giggles and she laughed at him just as she had back in Giles’ bathroom when she made him drool.

“Hold still, vampire. Or I’ll have to chain you up again...” she whispered in his ear as she stretched his arms over his head and wrapped his hands around the brass railing of the bed.

Spike shivered with anticipation and willingly grasped the railing, leaving her free to do what she wished with his body.

Buffy pushed the tee shirt they’d found for him to wear up to his neck and began running her tongue around his upper body. She paused to suck on each flat male nipple, smiling when he began to murmur and hiss just as he had when he’d been in the bathtub. But where then she had spent most of her time kissing and licking her way around his upper body, this time she ran her tongue from his chest right down his body, stopping to tickle his navel with it, then following the soft trail of hair down into the sweat pants he was wearing. As her mouth moved lower, she easily pushed the elastic waistband down until she could slide it over his cool, smooth cock and down his thighs.

He lifted his hips slightly to help her pull the pants the rest of the way down and she shoved them down far enough for him to kick them off. She never took her eyes off the bobbing object in front of her and as soon as her hand was free, she used it to steady his cock while she studied it.

She looked at it from all angles, admiring it’s smoothness and wondering how something that big would feel inside her. She rubbed her cheek against it, stroked it lightly with her hand and ran her tongue around the tip, tasting him. When it began to seem that she was going to spend all her time looking at it, Spike couldn’t keep silent any longer.

“You’re killin’ me,here, pet.” He gritted out. “Are you just gonna look at it all day or....”

Buffy flashed him a grin before she turned her attention back to his aching cock. “I’m getting to the ‘or’, “ she said. “Just be patient.”

“Not my thing, love,” he growled. “Don’t do patient.”

She pouted at him, her full lower lip just brushing the head as she did so and he groaned in surrender. Taking pity on the now panting vampire, she put her mouth over him and worked her way down his shaft as far as she could without gagging.

Spike’s groan turning into a hissed, “yesss” and he involuntarily pushed his hips up toward her mouth. He thought the heat from her mouth was going to burn him, but every time she moved her head up and allowed his wet cock to feel the air, he couldn’t stand it until she took him in again. She wrapped one small hand around the base of his shaft and began to squeeze him in rhythm with the sucking motions she was making with her mouth.

“Oh god, yes, Buffy. Like that, love. Feels so good. So hot, so strong. Gonna make me...Buffy!” His hips rose off the bed and he thrust into her mouth as his orgasm took him away from any pain he was feeling.

Buffy sat up, licking her lips, with a very self-satisfied smile on her face. Spike looked at her smirking at him and suddenly brought his arms down and pulled her up onto his body. His hands were busy pulling off her shirt and trying to unfasten her pants at the same time.

“Too bloody many clothes,” he growled as he tore her lacy thong off and tossed it across the room.

Buffy could feel that he was hard again already and looked up at him in amazement.

“I thought I...How can you....Didn’t I do it right?” She had a puzzled and slightly hurt expression on her face.

He stopped frantically disrobing her long enough to grab her face and plant kisses all over it.

“Of course you did it right, love. It was bloody wonderful! Why would you think—“

“Well, you’re still ready to...shouldn’t you be...?”

He gave her a grin and said, “Vampire recovery, love. Doesn’t take but a couple seconds to be ready to go again. Especially when you’ve just had a dose of Slayer blood. You did know your blood’s an aphrodisiac, didn’t you?”

“Uh...no. Actually, I don’t think Giles has ever covered that particular—“

“I suppose he wouldn’t, at that. Well, it is. To any vampire. And when the Slayer is you, and it’s this vampire....” he buried his face in her neck and inhaled her scent as he ran his tongue over his mark.

Fighting off the incredible feeling she was getting from lying on his hard body and feeling him sucking on the skin of her neck, Buffy pushed away from him a little bit to ask, “Isn’t this going to hurt you? Shouldn’t we wait—“

His whole body vibrated with the force of his growl and Buffy moaned at the sensation.

“Don’t want to wait. Want you now, love. Waited too long already. Please, love. Let me make love to you.”

“But..but,I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Vampire here, pet. We like a little pain with our pleasure. Anyway, I’m healing faster than you can imagine. Your blood is singin’ inside me and I feel like I could leap over the moon.”

She giggled at the mental picture of Spike jumping over the moon, and relaxed back onto him. The feel of his cool flesh next to her heated body was soothing and exciting at the same time. She felt his cock slide between her thighs and she tightened them, holding it in place for a few seconds.

Spike could feel the wetness soaking his cock as it lay pressed length wise against her. He brought his hands to her hips and lifted her up just enough to be able to put the head against her entrance. She caught her breath in a gasp as he rubbed it slowly up and down, spreading the moisture from one end to the other and coating the head with it.

When she was moaning and pushing her hips down toward his body, he finally placed the head at her opening and nudged gently.

“Look at me, love,” he whispered as he held her hips still.

She looked down into his penetrating blue eyes and nodded once. Without taking their eyes off each other, they let their bodies come together slowly. Buffy sank down onto him, her mouth open slightly and a stunned expression of pure sexuality on her face.

Spike was looking at her with such adoration and awe that she almost looked away from the intensity of his gaze. Once he was buried all the way inside her smooth, warmth he knew he was as close to heaven as he was ever going to get. He kept his eyes on her face as she slowly rode up and down on him, afraid if he looked away she would disappear.

Buffy was trying to remain in control and aware of her actions so that she wouldn’t hurt him. She knew, under ordinary circumstances, she wouldn’t have to worry about her strength with the vampire. Not the way she had to with Riley. But she didn’t want to accidentally re-injure him either. She knew Spike wanted her to be looking at him, but once his hard length was filling her completely, she was unable to keep her gaze focused.

She was completely lost in the sensations being created as Spike kept his hands on her hips and guided her as she rode up and down on him. When she had established an easy rhythm, he let go of her hips and reached for her breasts which were bobbing up and down in front of him. He cupped a hand around each one, rubbing his thumbs gently over the erect nipples. He smiled when a squeeze to each breast brought another moan from her.

Buffy placed her hands on his chest to balance herself as she moved up and down, her face a study in concentration and pleasure. When he moved one hand from her breast to rub circles on her clit, she threw her head back and began panting little whimpers that quickly built to a muffled scream as she clenched around him and fell forward onto his chest.

Without waiting for her to come down from her orgasm, he wrapped his arms around her and flipped them over so that he was looking down into her dazed expression. He covered her mouth with his and his tongue began a caressing duel with hers as he began thrusting in to her.

He was dimly aware of pain in his almost healed leg as he tried to remain on his knees above her, but tried to ignore it. When Buffy wrapped her legs around him and used her heels to pull him in harder, he gave up and let his full weight fall on her, using just his hips to continue pushing into her warm depths.

The constant pressure against her clit, as well as the way Spike was swirling his hips and hitting a spot inside that Buffy hadn’t known existed, soon had her panting and whimpering again. Now that he knew the sounds of her impending orgasm, Spike allowed himself to give in to his own need for release and he pounded into her until she spasmed around him. The force of her muscles clenching around his eager cock took him over the edge and into the sweetest release of his unlife.

He fought back the demon as it struggled to emerge and bite Buffy again; instead he fastened his mouth on his marks and sucked hard as he shot into her until he had nothing left.

For several minutes he could do nothing but lie on top of her, inhaling their mingled scents and licking her neck. Their hands were stretched up over their heads, fingers entwined and bodies pressed together. Buffy loved the feel of his lean, muscular body on hers. She slid her legs down his until they were touching all the way from their linked hands to their feet.

(So much nicer than being smothered by Angel or Riley.)

After a few minutes, Buffy decided that breathing would be much easier if there wasn’t a vampire on her chest, and she stretched like a cat and squirmed under him. When he felt her soft, yet incredibly strong body flexing under his, Spike hardened again almost immediately.

“Ah, love. Don’t do that. Some parts of my body just aren’t willing to admit that I’m not all better yet.” He nuzzled her neck one more time, then rolled off to the side keeping one hand across her stomach possessively.

Buffy took a deep breath and curled toward him as she let it out. She let one leg slide over his, then cringed when she saw him wince. She immediately shot up with a sorrowful look on her face.

“I hurt you! I knew it. I knew we shouldn’t..” he stopped her guilt-stricken babbling with a kiss that was both tender and erotic at the same time.

“You didn’t. And we should. As often as possible. In many different positions. Every day. For the rest of our lives.”

He punctuated each sentence with another kiss, stopping only when he felt her relax back against his side.

“But I hurt you. I was supposed to be making you better and—“

“I AM better, love. A little more time and rest and I’ll be good as new. Just got a few sore spots left, that’s all.”

Eventually Buffy allowed him to sooth her worries, and she reluctantly got up to search for her clothes. As she wandered around the room looking for her thong, they heard her mother’s SUV in the driveway.

“Ohmygod! Mom’s home! Quick. Get your clothes on!”

Buffy threw Spike’s sweat pants at him and frantically pulled her own jeans on. She pulled the shirt over her head and tried to fix her obvious bed hair in the mirror. Just as they heard her mother coming up the stairs, calling her name, she found her thong and was holding it in her hand with a panicky look on her face when Spike grabbed it and tucked it under the pillow.

When her mother got to the top of the stairs, Buffy was already in the hall way telling Spike, “I’ll check on you tomorrow afternoon. And I’ll tell Willie to send you some O neg tonight.”

Out of sight of her mother, the vampire blew her a kiss and waved her thong at her. He laughed at the angry glare she gave him and sent her another kiss before dropping back down onto the pillow.

Knowing she not only looked like she’d just had sex, but probably smelled like it too, Buffy ran quickly by her mother, throwing over her shoulder, “Bye, Mom. See you tomorrow. Got to go now!” as she raced down the stairs.

Joyce stared after her daughter thoughtfully, then walked to the door of the guest room and looked in at the extremely happy looking vampire.

“I take it you two have worked out your issues.” She said, piercing him with her best “mom” look. Spike tried for an innocent look and when he saw Joyce wasn’t buying that, he looked away and ducked his head in embarrassment. Only her concern over what could happen to her daughter kept her from laughing at the abashed vampire. She was sure if he were standing he would have been shuffling his feet.

When he finally looked up to meet her eyes apologetically, he took an unnecessary breath and said quietly, “I love her, Joyce.”

Buffy’s mother sighed and slumped against the door frame. “I know you do, Spike. It’s just ...the last time she was involved with a vampire—“

“I was there,” he said flatly. He fixed his eyes on hers and suddenly he no longer looked like a shy Victorian boy, but like a man who had seen it all and knew what was important.

“I am not Angelus. Never have been. Never will be. I don’t need a soul to love her, or a soddin’ chip in my head either. I swear to you, Joyce. I will never knowingly do anything to hurt her. Never.”

“Just remember,” she said as she turned away, “I still know where the axe is.”

“As well you should, mum,” he smiled as he settled back into the bed for some much needed sleep. “As well you should.”


AN: I’m thinking this is probably the end, for now anyway. I’ve done Season IV to death (no pun intended), and so many others have written post “Something Blue” fics that to continue it seems redundant. So, yeah, I did leave it open ended in that there hasn’t really been any resolution with the Initiative and Professor Walsh’s interest in Buffy, but I just don’t have any original ideas right now. I’ve done the “they want to make a lab rat of the Slayer”, as have others, and I’ve killed Adam a couple of times, so....
 

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