My One and Only 
 by Brat

 

 

Sequel to You Mean the World to Me. If you haven't read that, I suggest you do or you may be lost. Buffy and Spike are now married with their child on the way. Changes are happening. How will it affect Spike and Buffy?

Okay guys...here we go! Another adventure! I hope you enjoy this one...it's the sequel to You Mean the World to Me...Hope you like!

Chapter 1

Buffy stared thoughtfully at herself in the mirror, moving from side to side, taking in her appearance. She had a little paunch, but nothing enormous. Yet. She patted her tummy and then smoothed her hands over it, trying to imagine herself when it got larger.

“Pet? What are you doing?”

Buffy looked over her shoulder to see her mate and husband standing in the doorway of their bedroom, watching her with eyebrows raised.

“Checking out my tummy,” she explained.

“You’re not going to be one of those birds that freak out if you gain weight during pregnancy are you?”

She rolled her eyes at the thought. “No way.” She frowned. “Well, at least I don’t think so. I’ve always wanted to be pregnant.”

“Have you now?” Spike asked, sauntering over slowly, grinning.

She nodded. “Yup. I’ve always thought pregnant woman were so beautiful. The whole idea of giving birth is just amazing to me.” She grabbed his hand and placed
it over her stomach. “Spike, our BABY is in there. Ours. Yours and mine. Life is living inside of me. Don’t you find that amazing?”

Spike smiled broadly and brought her into his arms. “Even more so because it’s ours. Not supposed to happen, me being a vampire and all.”

She yawned and rested her head against his chest. “It was meant to be.”

“Better believe it, baby,” Spike whispered and placed a kiss on her forehead as his hands traveled up her back, stroking her skin lightly. “How much time do we have
before the party?” He murmured.

She grinned. “Not enough time for that.”

“I can be quick—wait. That’s probably not the best thing to say is it?”

She laughed and pulled out of his embrace. “No it’s not, and trust me honey, you could never be quick.”

Tucking his tongue behind his teeth, he smirked. “Lucky for you, innit?

“Yes dear. Do you have Giles’ presents at the door? We should probably get going. As much as the man says he doesn’t want anyone to make a fuss on his birthday,
he’s lying. He loves the attention.”

“His presents are right by the door, just as my lovely pregnant wife ordered.”

“Thank you,” she yawned again as she made her way into the foyer to grab her jacket. Spike followed, a slight frown on his face.

“What?” she asked him, seeing the frown.


“You’re yawning a lot today. Did you get any sleep at all last night kitten?”

She busied herself with zipping up her jacket and grabbing some of Giles’ presents. “Yeah, I slept fine.”

He cocked his head to the side and she gave up trying to hide from his inquiring gaze and just looked up at him. “Spike, I’m fine. I’m pregnant, it’s normal for me to be
tired.”

He appeared to be contemplating something. “Do you want me to give you a massage? Maybe we could get home early and you can take a warm bath and I’ll give you a massage before you go to bed.”

She smiled wistfully. “That does sound nice.”

Grabbing the last of Giles’ gifts, Spike used his free hand to take Buffy’s hand and they made their way out of their apartment to Spike’s car.

Buffy stared out the window and stifled another yawn. Truth was, she hadn’t gotten a lot of sleep last night. She’d been having dreams that she just couldn’t explain yet.
Well, in a way she could, but she needed help figuring out what was going on. She wasn’t like a regular Slayer; she was just a girl with powers. Mated and now married to a vampire. Her Spike who’d been brought to her when she was only a teenager.

If there was on thing she’d learned since becoming Spike’s mate, it was not to keep secrets from him. She just didn’t know how to explain to him without him
worrying what she didn’t yet understand herself.

How could she possibly explain to him that if her dreams were any indication, she was becoming less human and more like him.

Immortal

Chapter Two

"Honestly, Buffy, you didn't have to go to all this trouble for me," Giles told them shyly as he took in Joyce's decorated living room with a banner that read ‘Happy Birthday Giles!!', a cake and some snacks.

Buffy smiled and shook her head at him, knowing full well he loved the attention. And at the moment, he was especially cute as Joyce flitted around him, making sure he had everything he needed. Spike sat down next to Buffy and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, bringing her closer to him and pressing a soft kiss on her temple.

"It's not a big deal Giles, and you love it."

Giles grinned. "I do. Thank you just the same."

"You're welcome."

"How have you been feeling dear?" Giles asked, taking a sip of his wine.

"Good," she replied. She patted her stomach. "Starting to get a little
tummy."

"Do you feel that any of your powers have diminished at all?"

"Nope. Everything seems to be pretty much the same."

"Good, good."

"Spike, honey, would you help me open a new bottle of wine? I can't seem
to get it," Joyce called from the kitchen.

Spike jumped up, "Sure thing Joyce!"

As soon as Spike was out of the room, Buffy leaned forward and put her
hand on Giles' arm to grab his attention.

"Giles I need to talk to you."

Giles looked at her startled and leaned forward. "Are you all right Buffy?"

"I'm fine. I think I am. I've been having these dreams lately and I need
your take on them."

Giles furrowed his brow. "What kind of dreams?"

Buffy chewed her bottom lip, trying to suss out the best way to explain
them.

"In my dreams, I'm me, except different."

"How so?"

"I'm not quite human."

"Then what are you?" Giles asked, alarmed.

"I'm not sure. I think I'm immortal. I don't change, I grow stronger, but I
stay the same. Like Spike. "

"Are you---is it possible that you're turning?"

"Into a vampire? No. Like I said, it's still me. The dreams are sketchy, it's
just something I

know. That I'm not going to age and that something about me is different."

"Stronger you say though?"

"Yeah, I think so. They're not very clear."

"And the baby?"

"Nothing. But, Giles, could it be just you know, dreams? Could it be just a
by product of my active imagination and hormones?"

"It could be, but perhaps that's something we need to explore. I've been
meaning to talk to you about a girl that I've recently met. She's discovered
that she has some powers and sought me out to help her control them as
well as hone them."

"Powers? Like me?"

"Of the magical nature. Her name is Willow Rosenberg. Perhaps you could
stop by on Monday and meet her? Maybe she can help figure out what
your dreams mean."

"Giles, do you think that's a good idea? I mean having her know about
Spike and me and . . . you're usually the first one to tell me to keep it quiet."

"Willow already knows about the presence of vampires. Her powers were
realized the moment her life was in endangered by one."

"Really?"

"Yes. She was attacked and found that by her sheer will, she was able to
stop the creature in its tracks and detain it. I trust her a great deal Buffy.
Come by and meet her and I think you will too. If not, we don't have to tell
her anything. There can't be any harm in meeting her can there?"

"No, I guess not."

"She is a bright young woman with extraordinary powers. She's been quite
receptive to the instructions I've given her." Giles was smiling brightly and
proudly.

Buffy felt a pang of jealousy bubble up inside her. What happened to Buffy
being the bright young woman with extraordinary powers? Granted Buffy
wasn't always the best student, always wanting to do things her way, but
she and Giles had always been magically receptive to one another. She
realized that she hadn't been able to spend much time with Giles lately, but
that was no reason to go and replace her. She felt the familiar prick of tears
forming and fought them. Talk about being hormonal. This was ridiculous.

"Buffy you all right?" Giles asked popping a chip in his mouth.

She nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine. I think I'm gonna get a refill on my milk."

"You've been quiet tonight," Spike observed as they drove home from
Giles' birthday party.

"Just tired," Buffy answered automatically, staring out the window.

Reaching over, Spike grabbed her hand and kissed it softly. "Pet, what's
wrong?"

Buffy sighed. "I was talking to Giles earlier and he's got a new student."

"And?"

"He said she was a bright young woman with extraordinary powers."

"And?"

"What do you mean ‘and'? I'm being replaced. Next thing you know he'll be
walking her down the aisle when she gets married too!"

"Buffy, where is this coming from? Giles adores you. He considers you the
daughter he never had, you are irreplaceable in his eyes and you know it."

"I didn't say logic had any part in my thought process," she retorted,
pouting.


Pulling in front of their building, Spike shut the car off and Buffy climbed
out, with minimal help from Spike. He pulled her into his arms while
simultaneously closing the door behind her.

"Giles loves you and Willow is not replacing you. It's good for him to have
someone else to train. You've been busy with your sexy husband and
getting ready for our baby. Since he and Joyce haven't seemed to gather a
clue about each other, he needs something to focus his energies on."

"I know," Buffy grumbled, "I just . . . it just hurt ya know? It's selfish of
me, I know, but for so long it's only been me with Giles. And now there's
someone else and it just kind of threw me."


Taking her hand in his, Spike led Buffy up to their apartment. "I know,
sweetheart. It's perfectly normal. Just so long as you know that it's
unfounded to think you'd be replaced. You're irreplaceable," he told her
unlocking their door and pushing her gently in.

Buffy smiled sappily up at him. "You're irreplaceable you know that?"

Spike's expression changed to one of awe and adoration as he beheld her.
Leaning in, and kicking the door to their apartment with his foot, Spike
kissed her tenderly.


As was usually the way with Buffy and Spike, it didn't take long for their
kisses to become urgent and their touch needy. Pushing his jacket off his
shoulders, Buffy pressed herself against Spike, noticing for the first time
that she wasn't able to pull herself flush against his body. As much as she
liked the paunch she had, the thought that she couldn't get so close to Spike
anymore saddened her. She had always enjoyed being able to feel every
part of him against her.

It seemed to unfazed Spike however, and after discarding her jacket, he
hauled her up in his arms and carried her into their bedroom, laying her
down on their bed. Standing up and gazing at her hotly as he discarded his
shirt and unbuttoned his jeans, Buffy watched him with barely concealed
hunger. Crawling up her body, he lifted her shirt, exposing her swelling
stomach and kissed it gently as he pushed the shirt up and off with her
help.

She brought him closer, entangling her fingers in his springy curls and
engaging his tongue in a dance with her own. Making sure to keep to her
side and not crush her, Spike reached down with his hand and inched his
way inside her pants and panties. He sought out her core and teased her
with his fingers, gliding them up and down her slit, just barely grazing her
clit, causing her to arch into him, seeking his touch. He nipped at her lips
and pressed hot, open mouth kisses along her neck, licking the mark he'd
left on her. As he started to glide down her body, Buffy toed off her shoes
and socks and watched him, licking her lips with anticipation.

They'd made love that morning, but that didn't seem to mean much when
it came to them. They still ached for each other as if they'd been starved
from it for months and years rather than a few hours. Taking off her pants
and panties, Spike finally lavished attention to the spot Buffy desperately
needed him to attend to. She tangled her fingers in his air and pushed him
closer to her center, shivering as he blew on her sex and then licked her.
When he finally took her clit in his mouth and sucked on it hard, once, she
nearly screamed. She squirmed as he teased her and then he sucked it in
her mouth once more and she came undone.

Once she had come down from her high, she sat up and reached for him,
crushing her lips against his and tasting herself on his lips. Reaching
between them, she found his hardness and worked on releasing it from the
confines of his jeans. Hissing at the pleasure, Spike rid himself of his jeans
and rolled them so that they lay facing each other. Placing her leg on top of
his, his cock brushed against her pussy and she grabbed it lightly, stroking
it before guiding it within her. They both moaned as they started an age old
rhythm, grinding and moving against each other.

"Buffy. . . my love. . . " Spike murmured against her neck. "I love you so
much."

"Uhhh…I love you. Harder Spike please….need you to fill me up."

Spike growled and moved just a touch harder, moving in just the right spot
so that his cock brushed against her clit with each stroke. She was fast
reaching her climax and she kissed him hard on the mouth before trailing
over to her mark on him, sucking on it.

"Do it baby, do it," he encouraged hoarsely.

She didn't have to be asked twice, immediately Buffy bit down on her mark
and broke the skin. Blood splashed on her tongue and he started to pound
harder into her. She took untold bliss in the feeling of taking his blood in
her mouth and becoming one with his essence. "Mine," she growled.

Then she felt his sharp teeth graze her mark and she drew her arm around
his head and pressed him closer. "Please," she whispered.

Biting down on her mark sent Buffy into an orgasm so intense, Buffy was
sure she blacked out for a second. She came with a shout of his name and
Spike howled his claim on her whilst he came inside her.

Coming down from their bliss, they moved softly against each other riding
out their orgasms and basking in each other.

"Promise you'll never leave me," Buffy whispered as she drifted off to
sleep.

Spike looked at her startled. Leave her? Was she kidding? And when had
she ever expressed that fear before? He was always the one that worried
about her leaving him.

"Promise," she told him sleepily and lightly pinched him, her eyelids
closing.

"Never leave you my love. Never. You're my one and only. Forever."

"Mmm…Forever…." Buffy murmured and fell fast asleep.

Chapter Three

Buffy couldn't deny feeling apprehensive about visiting Giles and his ‘bright young woman with the extraordinary powers.' It still stung no matter how much she knew she was being ridiculous.

Knocking on the door, it did not bode well when the girl in question
answered the door. Buffy raised her eyebrows. The woman before her had
shoulder length red hair, green eyes and pale skin. She wore light makeup
and had some kind of peasant dress on. She was cute, in a word.

"You must be Buffy. Hi, I'm Willow," and the girl stuck out her hand.

Buffy took it lightly and smiled softly. "Hi."

"Come on in," Willow stepped aside.

Okay, that wasn't right. Of COURSE she could come in. Giles was HERS.
This was practically her home—as a matter of fact it had been her home at
one time. She could waltz in if she wanted to, unannounced even. Or, hey,
she could use her key and the only reason why she hadn't was because
she'd left it at home. So there, Willow Rosenberg!

"Giles is downstairs putting some supplies away," she sat down at the
table, facing Buffy who was standing in the door way still, feeling kind of out
of disorientated. "Oh. Right. So, magic huh?" Brilliant Buffy, brilliant.

Willow nodded eagerly. "It just …came out of me. And good thing it had! If
it hadn't I'd be dead right now."

"Oh?" Buffy decided to play dumb on the off chance Giles hadn't told
Willow she knew.

"Vampires. Can you believe it? Well, of course YOU can, being with a
vampire and all."

Buffy's jaw dropped and then she started to sputter. "What? How did you?
Did Giles say—how in the world—you can't tell anyone!"

Willow looked at her, startled and jumped out of her seat. "Oh! No, no, no!
I wouldn't tell anyone. I won't! Giles didn't say a word to me, I just . . . " she
looked at her sheepishly. "I've seen you around the city. Mostly at night
and with your boyfriend. I've seen you stake a vamp before and I've seen
your boyfriends face all fangy. I was too freaked about it all to talk to you . .
. plus what would I say anyway? ‘Hi, I just saw you dust a vampire. My
name is Willow.'"

Buffy took a tentative step forward. "Good point." Was Giles remodeling
down there too?

"Anyway, I found myself on the receiving end of unwanted vampire
attention and when I told him to stop, he became immobile! Then I thought

about him engulfing in flames, and poof! Up he went in flames." She was
beaming, apparently proud of herself.

Buffy's eyes bugged. "You were able to engulf him in flames?"

Willow nodded. "After then I tried doing other things, like move stuff—"

"Sounds like telekinesis rather than magic."

"Just call me Carrie!" Willow laughed, "And Firestarter!"

Buffy just smiled wanly.

"So some things I've been able to do. I haven't been able to do the fire
thing again, so Giles thinks it may have happened due to stress. I tried a
glamour spell and it worked."

"Glamour spell?"

"You know when you change your appearance? I wanted to have black
hair for a night just to see if my girlfriend liked it. Which, she did."

"Glamour huh? That's . . . interesting. And, girlfriend you say?"

Willow nodded profusely. "Yep. I'm gay." She stopped and narrowed her
eyes. "That a problem?"

Buffy's eyes widened and now it was her that was rushing to the defense.
"No! God no. Not at all. I just . . . what is Giles DOING down there?
Rebuilding the Taj Mahal?"

Willow giggled. "Let me get him."

Buffy nodded, and, feeling dizzy all of a sudden, sat down at the table. She
felt as if she'd just gotten slammed with information and she'd only been
there for not even ten minutes. Willow knowing about Spike and her,
Willow gay, Willow knowing WAY more magic than her, Willow letting HER
in Giles' house. She was feeling overwhelmed and no wonder!

She jumped a mile at the warm hand on her back. "Buffy, dear, are you all
right?"

She turned to see Giles standing before her with a concerned expression on
his face. The urge to cry was sudden upon her and she fought it. "I'm just
feeling a little dizzy."

"Would you like some tea?"

"Please. Decaf."

"Coming right up," and he smiled warmly at her.


Willow sat down across from her. "I came on too strong, didn't I?" she
looked worried.

"I'm just. . . no. Just so much going on all of a sudden I just needed to take
a breather."

Willow nodded. "I'm sorry just the same. I flung a lot at you in a short
amount of time."

"So, I don't even know where to start. I can't seem to think of anything to
say!"

"That's a first," Giles said jokingly from the kitchen.

"Watch it buddy!" Buffy laughed.

"Giles sings you praises you know," Willow informed her. "I can tell he
adores you."


Buffy smiled sheepishly, "thanks."

"Now that I've met you and know about you, I feel like I could learn so
much from you."

"Me?" Buffy was incredulous. "You started a fire!"

Willow chuckled nervously. "That I can't seem to do again. Maybe we could
learn from each other then?"

"Maybe," Buffy replied, non committal.



"I take it you didn't trust her then?" Giles inquired an hour later after
Willow had left.

Buffy shrugged. "I don't know."

"Well it's either yes or no."


Toying with the tea bag in her mug, Buffy shrugged again. "I didn't feel up
to sharing."

"Buffy, are you sure you're all right?"

"I think so."

"What is it? The dream? We will figure it out Buffy. Spike? Is Spike
bothering you?"

"No! I don't . . . I don't know what's wrong with me. Must be the

hormones."

"Did you have the dream last night?"

"Every night for the past month."

"And nothing in it changes?"

"Nope."

"Have you seen any changes in your magic or your strength?"

"I haven't really practiced much lately," Buffy trailed off. Ever since she'd
gotten pregnant she had forgone patrolling altogether. Spike had taken to
doing a quick sweep, which worried her to no end. It was tough because on
the one hand, she wanted to be out there doing what she felt was her job.
On the other hand, she didn't want to endanger the baby by going out
there. Then there was the issue of Spike doing it. She didn't want him out
there endangering himself, but she also didn't want the streets to go
unchecked. It was a fight she'd been having with herself and Spike lately.
And she hadn't felt much like practicing her magick because her energy
levels hadn't been all that high lately. In a word, she was bored. She helped
her mother out at the gallery a few days a week, but it wasn't enough. She
needed something else, something that was just hers. She just didn't know
what it was. She had a college education for crying out loud, surely there
was SOMETHING she could do. Something she SHOULD be doing. And
what could she do now that she was pregnant? What place would want her
for the next few months only to let her go for a few more?

No wonder she felt exhausted with these thoughts running rampant in her
mind.

"Perhaps you should start coming by a few times during the week and we
can do some tests and maybe practice? It might not hurt for you and Spike
to spar a bit. Nothing extreme that could hurt the baby of course, but
something small just to test reflexes and strength. He should be a rather
good judge of any change in your strength."

"I haven't told Spike about the dream."

Giles looked stunned. "Why ever not?"

"I didn't want to worry him until I figured it out."

"Buffy," Giles started, shaking his head. "With all that you and Spike have been through you should know above all not to keep secrets from him."

Buffy looked down at the floor. "I know. I just wanted clarification of
whether or not it was actually something or if I was just having a weird
occurring dream, ya know?"

"I think after having the dream for a month as you have, it's time to tell
him," Giles told her in that stern, yet gentle way he had. "You should try a
dream exercise before you go to bed."

"Such as?"

"Tell yourself that you will see more, understand more and that you will
receive answers. Often times people who have recurring nightmares talk to
themselves before bed. They tell themselves they will fight and conquer
the monster in their dream, and usually, they do. Perhaps trying something
like that for your dream will offer insight to what is happening within you.
If anything is happening at all."

Buffy nodded. "All right."

"In the mean time. You need to tell Spike."

"Yes dad," Buffy teased.

Giles' whole face brightened considerably and Buffy felt her heart expand
at the sight. Promptly, she burst into tears. "I love you Giles!" She wailed
as Giles sprinted across the room and took her in a soothing embrace.

"Buffy, why are you crying?"

"Because I'm a sap!" she sobbed against him.

Giles stroked her hair. "I love you too, Buffy. You're the daughter I never
had, you know."

"I know," Buffy whimpered. "Just don't ever forget that."

Chapter Four

By the time Buffy reached home, she was exhausted. She knew however, that she had to speak with Spike. She just didn't know if she should do it before or after a nap.

"Baby, you look wiped," he told her as she curled up next to him as he
fiddled on the computer. "How'd it go?"

"It was all right. Willow seemed nice enough. Very uh, forthcoming with
information."

"Such as?" he asked and leaned back on the couch with her, placing her in
his lap and stroking her hair as she spoke.

Buffy relayed her visit at Giles', skimming over the parts where she had
spoken to Giles about her dream.

"See? Told you he loved you."

"I know," she sighed and placed a kiss on his cheek. "You know what? I
love you."

Spike put his hand under her chin and kissed her softly.

"What were you doing while I was gone?" Buffy asked gesturing to the
computer.

"That's something I wanted to talk to you about."

"Oh?" she tried to keep the dread in her voice down to a minimum. It was
silly really, but with all the changes that had been going on recently, she
wasn't sure if she could handle another one. She wasn't very often the ‘roll
with the punches' sort of girl. One would think she would have to be with
what she was and what she did, but change was something she never did
well.

Spike pinched the end of her nose lightly. "It's nothing to worry about it. I
can feel the tension in you. Relax Buffy, what I have to tell you is a good
thing. At least I think it is."

"Just tell me already!" she burst out.

"I've applied for a job at Boston College and I got accepted. I'm going to
teach British Literature at night."

Now it was Spike bracing himself and filling with tension.

Buffy looked up at him and smiled, "I think that sounds great Spike! Why
didn't you tell me sooner?" Like you have room to talk, she chided herself.

"I didn't want to say anything in case I didn't get it. You know how it is,
not wanting to curse your luck."

"Don't you have to have a teaching degree and all that?"

"Well, most often, yes."

"You fudged some documents didn't you?"

"Little bit. Helped that I told them I studied at Oxford."

"Which you did."

"Exactly."

"In the Victorian era," she giggled.

"Ah well."

"On the off chance that you wouldn't have gotten it, would you have told
me then?"

"Depends on how embarrassed I was about it," he told her sheepishly.

"Well, I'm just thinking that if they were stupid enough not to hire my
brilliant husband, then I'd have to go down there and put the smack down on them."

Spike laughed and nuzzled her neck. "So good to me, you are."

She wrinkled her nose. "Not always."

He brought her face up to his. "All in the past." Resting his hand on her
stomach, he rubbed circles on it gently. It rumbled back at him. "Hungry
kitten?"

She nodded, "I think so. Do we have any buffalo wings?"

"I think so, if not I'll order out for some. You're looking knackered luv,
why don't you lie down for a bit while I make the food."

"Okay."

Making her way to the bedroom, Buffy sat down lied down and stared up
at the ceiling. So, Spike had found his nitch. Now she just had to find hers.



Buffy woke up starving. Apparently she'd fallen asleep for a while because
the room was now engulfed in darkness. The scent of Buffalo Wings
lingered in the air along with . . . fries!

"Spike?" she called out as she made her way into the kitchen. No answer.
"Spike?" she called again.

Just then the door burst open and a scraggly looking Spike came through.
His clothes a bit torn and blood seeping from a cut on his forehead. Buffy
flew into autopilot, grabbing the first aid kit. "Spike, what happened?"

"Got into a little rough and tumble. Quite a few baddies out there tonight,"
he sighed, grabbing a paper towel and wetting it.

Buffy grabbed it, "sit down. I'll get it all for you."

"Buffy, I can take care of a wound or two."

"Please? You take care of me all the time. Let me take care of you."

Settling down in a chair, he watched her as she tended to his cuts and
scrapes. Her fears were bubbling to the surface.

"Spike, I don't think you should do this anymore," she told him as she
applied some antiseptic.

"Buffy," he started on a sigh.

"Spike, I don't want our baby to not have a father."

"Buffy, it's going to take more than a few vamps to take me down. It's not
like they come armed ya know?"

"But one wrong move and—"

"Buffy! Stop. I'm fine. Nothing is going to happen to me. I promise pet, I'm
here to stay."

She watched him as she went to the fridge and to get something to drink.

"Fine, then I want to come with you," she told him.

He set his cup down on the table and faced her with a stern expression.
"No. You're not going out there in your condition."

"I can watch your back, make sure nothing happens. I can be back up. I
won't get involved unless you're in danger. I'll even hide."

"Buffy, I said no."

"Since when are you the boss of me?" she demanded.

"Since you're carrying my child and I don't want to lose either of you!" he shouted at her.

"When did you become so goddamn thickheaded?" she shouted back.

"When you became so goddamn stubborn!"

Going to the fridge, she started taking things out and slamming them down
on the kitchen table. She had to eat now if she was going to keep up this
argument with Spike. Grabbing a cup, she started to gulp it down. Spike
shouting her name stopped her.

"What now?" she asked annoyed.

Startled, Spike grabbed the cup out of her hand. "Buffy. You just drank my
blood."

She looked up at him and then down at the cup three quarters empty. The cup of blood she probably would have finished if Spike hadn't stopped her. The cup of blood she still wanted to finish.

"Oh."

Chapter Five

"'Oh.'? Is that all you have to say after you drank almost a full cup of blood without even noticing?" Spike pointed at her. "I see how you're eyeing it. You still want some."

She raised her chin defiantly. "No, I don't." She met his eyes and felt a
tremble start to course through her. She drank blood. BLOOD. And what
was more, she barely even noticed and she LIKED it. She remembered a
long time ago, when they'd first started hanging out outside of patrol, she'd
been to his place and accidentally took a sip of his blood and she'd sputtered
and gagged. It had turned her stomach so greatly, she'd taken to bringing
her own drink when visiting Spike's despite his protests he could buy her a
liter of Coke to keep in the fridge.

So, needless to say it was disconcerting to know she'd drink the cup and
was fine with it. She placed her hand over her belly. "The baby," she said,
realization settling in. "It has to be the baby."

Spike's shoulders sagged. "She's going to be vampire?" he sounded so
despondent. Interesting, Buffy thought.

"I don't know, but it's not so far fetched to think she maybe half vampire
at least." She poked him in the arm. "And we don't know the sex yet."

"Minor technicality at a time like this. I want to know what our baby is
going to be – a vampire or a human. We need to find out Buffy."

"Oh really? Do you think so?" she asked rhetorically in mock innocence,
the sarcasm nearly dripping.

Spike gave her a glare. "What's gotten into you? Why are you acting like
this?"

Good question. "Because I'm stressed out! Hi, I just drank blood! And . . .
other stuff. . . " she trailed off.

He narrowed his eyes. "Other stuff? Giles other stuff or something else
other stuff?"

She averted her gaze from his, making faces as she tried to come up with
the best way to tell him. For crying out loud, she felt like one of those
annoying, scheming heroines on a soap opera who kept the most inane
secrets from their lovers and then months later it ended up blowing up in
their faces and they ended up losing their lover. She wouldn't lose Spike
though . . . would she? Get a grip Buffy. You're mated, that's forever. Didn't
mean he couldn't hate her though. The fear in that idea gripped her. Being
mated didn't mean he had to love her still.

"Buffy, I'm waiting," he was losing the patience battle, she could tell.

"All right. Yes, there is something else. I've been having dreams."

"Dreams?"

"Yeah. . . "

"Did you want to elaborate or am I supposed to guess."

She gave him a look. "Smart ass."

"Stop stalling and just tell me."

"I've been dreaming that I've become immortal," she blurted out. There,
it was out there. Now Giles and her conscience could kindly get off her back.
However, from the look on Spike's face – jaw clenching, not a good sign – it
looked as if he was about to get on her back.

"You've been dreaming WHAT?" "That I've become immortal. I don't
know if it's true, if it's just a dream or if it's something that's happening—"

"How long have you been having this dream Buffy?"

She started to fidget under his heated gaze. "Not long," she said on a quiet
whimper.

"How long, Buffy."

"A month."

He threw his hands up in the air. "And you're just telling me now?" he
exploded in exasperation.

"I didn't want to worry you! I wanted to figure out what it meant first
before I cried wolf!"

"What happened to not keeping secrets? Remember what happened last
time you kept a whopper from me?"

"What are you gonna do? Bite me again? It's consensual now remember?"

His expression darkened even more. Good move, Buffy. Piss him off while
you're trying to tell him what you've been keeping from him. "Spike, look,
I'm sorry okay? I know how you worry, especially now, and I just wanted
to see what I came up with before I started blabbing—"

"Giles knows though, right?"

"Well . . . yeah."

"Of course. Why wouldn't he know? He gets to know everything before me. And what am I? Just your mate and your husband, right?"

"Don't even start that crap with me! I only told Giles first so he could help
me figure it out." She pointed at him accusingly. "You didn't tell me about
your job!"

"Can't even bloody compare the two Buffy and you damn well know it.
We're talking about your LIFE here Buffy!"

"Or lack thereof," she said matter of factly.

"I don't even bloody know what to say to you right now!"

"That's a first."

"You're pushing your luck little girl," he growled at her.

Instantly her eyes welled up in tears. Not now, she thought, please not
now.

"Did you find anything out?" he asked, calmly now.

"No. Giles gave me an exercise to do before bed tonight and I was
planning on trying it out."

"When were you going to tell me?"

"Tonight."

"Do you mean that or are you just trying to cover your ass?"

"I meant it," she told him through clenched teeth.

He walked away from her and went to the fridge, taking out a beer. He
sighed heavily and slammed it on the counter. Buffy jumped a mile and
watched him just stand there, his back to her. The silence was deafening.

"I'm sorry, Spike," she whispered. "Please talk to me."

"It's not me you have to worry about apparently. You're the one who
keeps things from me. STILL."

Creeping up to him, she rested her head on his back. "Tell me what I can
do to make it better."

When he turned, he took her in his arms desperately and buried his face in
her neck. She held onto him and was surprised to feel her shoulder
becoming wet from tears. She stroked his back gently, unsure of what to do
or what to say. He took her uncertainty out of her hands in the next
instant. Picking her up, she wrapped her legs around his waist
instinctively, wondering what he was doing. He began placing hot open
mouthed kisses along her neck and collarbone. Sittingher down on the
table, she started to pull back, but he grabbed her closer to him, letting out
a small growl. She looked up at him and saw the desire flooding his eyes.

"Spike—" she started but he stopped her with a hungry kiss. She held onto
his shoulders as his hand found its way between them and inched inside her
pants. She hissed as his cool fingers found her core and flicked her clit. She
let out a small scream of pleasure and buried her face in his neck.

In the next instant her pants were gone. When she heard the rip of her
panties she jumped and looked up at him.

"No one is taking you from me," he told her, his voice rumbling with
possession and desire.

Before she could respond, he kissed her and thrust into her depths. She
wrapped her arms around him, startled by the sudden entrance of him
inside her.

"Am I hurting you? Did I hurt you?" he asked his voice awash with
concern.

She shook her head, unable to think beyond how ridiculous it was to ask
her that now.

He cradled her close against him as he thrust, as if afraid of letting an inch

of their skin lose contact, as if that meant she'd disappear.

The pressure was building inside her, the heat of impending orgasm
unfurling itself in her belly and stretching.

"Come with me," he rasped as he moved harder and faster. "Come with me
Buffy!"

He bit down on his mark on her neck and she came in an instant, her eyes
rolling in the back of her head as his seed flooded inside her. "You're mine.
Mine and no is ever going to take you from me!" He held himself still,
holding her close to him as she slowly came back down to Earth.

"Are you all right?" he asked her softly, his words muffled by her skin as
he buried his face back into her neck.

"Yes," she whispered.

"I'm sorry."

She blinked. "For?"

"I acted like an animal. I took you like one . . . I'm sorry."

She stroked his back gently, "I'm okay Spike. In case you missed it, I
enjoyed it."

"You were surprised."

"Yes," she admitted. "But I love you and I love making love with you."

He finally showed her his face, tears were streaming down his cheeks. "I
just get so scared at the idea of anything happening to you Buffy and when
you tell me that you have these dreams of being immortal . . . what does
that mean? Do you have to die first for that to happen? When? How long?
Just the idea of it . . . and the baby. What will happen to our baby?

"Spike I don't have the answers. That's why I wanted to find out
something before I told you. Because, look, you're so upset and I hate to see
you like this."

"You can't keep anything from me, baby. That hurts more, don't you see
that?"

"I'm sorry, I am. Please forgive me."

Leaning in he kissed her slowly, languidly. "I forgive you anything; you
should know that by now."

Pulling him closer she kissed him. Still joined, he started to move inside
her, slowly this time. She met his thrusts and enjoyed the feel of him
moving within her. When they came this time, it was a slow buildup that
had them holding on tight, murmuring loving words to each other and
caressing each other gently.

"Don't ever leave me," Spike whispered, nuzzling her cheek.

"Never," she promised on a whisper.


 

Chapter Six

Spike watched her sleep, wondering what sorts of dreams she was having, if she'd be able to tell him anything when she awoke.

Before they had gone to bed, she had spoke aloud and told herself that she would remember her dream and learn more. Exhausted from their coupling, she had no problem falling asleep. Spike on the other hand. . . he was wide awake with worry.

Buffy had treated the whole drinking blood phenomenon with non-chalance. Placing a gentle hand on her stomach, Spike silently asked what was going on in there. What did his baby need? What did Buffy need? What would the baby be like? A vampire like him or a human like its mother? Or, would the baby be half human and half vampire? Would it be a fighter like its parents?

Flopping on his back, Spike stared up at the ceiling and snaked his hand
out to Buffy's, grabbing it and holding on. And the whole immortal thing. . . what did it mean and for Christ's sake, why didn't she tell him? He glanced
over at his sleeping wife. Stubborn chit. He was sure if he wasn't already dead, she'd be the one to do him in. Despite all that however, he wouldn't want her any other way. She was everything he needed and wanted in a mate. He often wondered what sort of power was looking out for him when he was the one chosen to be with her. He wanted to thank them profusely.

Her heartbeat. It was racing. He rolled to his side and watched her. Her eyelids were fluttering and her hand tightened around his as if she knew he was holding it, as if she needed him. Should he wake her? Her name was on the tip of his tongue when her eyes snapped open.

"Buffy?" he whispered.

She turned her head and blinked at him, as if trying to gain her bearings and focus.

He waited, sure that if his own heart could beat it would be racing with anticipation. He gripped her hand tightly.

"I need to sit up," she said, her voice hoarse from sleep. Helping her sit up,
he sat up next to her.

"Did you find anything out?"

She looked dazed as she stared at the comforter on the bed. "I'm not sure.
I think so."

"Buffy, you're killing me here. Tell me what you saw—tell me something!"

"I'm sorry, I – I feel like I'm still there."

"There? Where?"

"Wherever I was in my dream. It was bright there. I kept seeing these
flashes of white and it wasn't bright in an annoying, hurt my eyes kind of way, it was bright in a peaceful soothing way. And there were voices,
whispering to me. Encouraging voices. I heard that I had a very serious job
to do and that they were proud of me and that I wouldn't be alone."

"A job to do? What kind of job?"

"I don't know. That's all I kept hearing. I don't know what it has to do
with." She placed her hand on her stomach and looked at him imploringly.
"Do you think it has to do with the baby? Like, he or she has a higher
purpose? I mean it's not exactly inconceivable, it's most conceivable
considering the parents. And maybe the universe was planning for this
moment and that's why they matched us up, and that's why I was born
with all these powers – oh my god, we're fulfilling a prophecy!"

She crawled out of bed hurriedly. Spike made a grab for her, but she moved
out of his grasp and started pacing.

"Buffy-"

"But why us? You'd think something like that would happen to a Slayer, not
to me. Who am I? I'm nobody. Oh yeah. Except I have superpowers. How
many of me are out there? Scary thought. In more ways than one. I, for
one, have never met another me. I wonder if there could be others like me.
Groups of us. I wonder if they've aligned with vampires with souls and
mated." Now she looked forlorn. "I don't want us to be together just
because some higher power made it that way. I want us to be together
because we wanted to be. I don't want some prophecy telling me I have to
love you. I want to love you because . . . because I do. Because you're my
Spike. And I do love you because you're my Spike."

"Buffy—" he started again.

She sat down. "The thing is . . . I felt a part of whatever was talking to me
and I knew they were unlike anything here on Earth. They were so good
and pure. So helpful and caring. And I felt part of them as if I WERE them.
They weren't of this plane. They weren't mortal, that I could feel. They
were greater than that." She stopped and her eyes widened. "Oh God."

"What?"

She looked at him, wide-eyed. "Spike if I felt part of them, as if I were one
of them, then maybe I already am immortal?"

"Do you think that has to do with the blood drinking earlier?"

"No, I don't think so. I really don't. I think that has to do with you being a
vampire."

"But you can't be sure of that Buffy—"

"Bouncing beams of light don't drink blood Spike."

He got out of bed. "How do you know?" he snapped.

"Spike, there's nothing wrong with our baby being a hybrid."

"Don't say that! Our baby is NOT a ‘hybrid', it's a BABY."

"It just means the baby is half you and half me." She rubbed her forehead.
"Whatever the hell I am or becoming." She looked up at him as he stood in
front of her. "I refuse to think that anything we created is bad. It's not. I'm
its mother and it's growing inside of me. I'd know. Our baby is going to be
beautiful and it's going to be special. I can FEEL it. I KNOW it. And
whatever is happening, IF anything is even happening. . . " she took his
hand. "I'm not alone."

Spike sunk to his knees in front of her and placed his head in her lap as he
wrapped his arms around her as well as he could. "Definitely not alone,
pet," he told her hoarsely.

She fingered his curls and stroked his head soothingly. "I really can't wait
for us to find out what the sex is. I hate referring to our baby as ‘it'."

Spike chuckled.

"And I wanted to tell you earlier that in case you had any doubt, you're
going to be a great dad."

He looked up at her, smiling brightly, "Oh?"

She nodded. "Our kid is never going to be able to lie. You're really good at
getting stuff out of people."

Spike broke up laughing and it helped ease the tension in him a bit. "Let's
get to sleep kitten. You need your rest."

Promptly, she let out a yawn. "Good idea." Crawling into bed, she rolled to
her side and Spike wrapped himself around her. "Night, Spike. Love you."

"I love you too Buffy. With everything I am."

"Forever?"

Odd that was the second time she needed reassurance of that. Pulling her
even closer he whispered in her ear, "until the end of the world."

Seeming satisfied, Buffy fell asleep.





Thank you guys for the reviews!!!

One and only by Brat

Chapters 7 – 13

So it would be totally wrong for me to follow you huh?" Buffy asked as she watched Spike gather papers into the briefcase she bought him for work. She gazed admiringly at him, thinking how yummy he looked in pressed khaki's and a crisp blue button down. She'd taken him nearly kicking and screaming shopping for new clothes. Now she was rethinking the idea seeing how scrumptious he looked. Images of her being the naughty student and him the heavy handed professor started dancing through her mind. She shook her head. Now was not the time for horny Buffy to make an appearance.

He looked over his shoulder, "well, not wrong but—"

"It'd be too mother sitting in on class on the first day of school."

"Future reference? Images of you as my mother doesn't get me hot."

She giggled, "Duly noted."

"All right. I'm all set. Kiss for good luck?"

"Like you have to ask," she stood from her place on the couch and made
her way over to him, wrapping her arms around him and kissing him
sweetly. Then she started straightening his collar. "You look so handsome."

"Thanks pet," he said huskily, watching her.

"I'm very proud of you. You're going to do great. I remember when I was
in college and taking British lit. I got 4.0's under your tutelage."

He smiled. "Should I imagine a class full of you?"

Her smile faded and she poked him in the chest. "Definitely not, mister."

He chuckled, "love it when you get territorial."

She rolled her eyes and pulled out of his arms. "So, you'll be home after
class then?"

"After I do a quick sweep."

She bit her tongue. She should accept it was a losing battle. She'd be lying if
she said she didn't miss it. She wanted to be out there again, but she
couldn't.

"What's with the frown lines?" he asked, caressing her brow.

Turning away from him, she grabbed his briefcase. "You have to go."

He knit his eyebrows together for a minute and took the proffered
briefcase. "What will you do while I'm gone?"

Bake cookies? Put on a dress and heels and vacuum? "Probably visit my
mom."

"Would you like me to go to your moms after?"

She cocked her head to the side, "is that so you can escort me home."

He had the decency to look sheepish.

"That's fine," she sighed, "I'm sure my mom would want to see you
anyway."

Spike pecked her nose, "keep your cell phone on you kitten, just in case."

"Yes dad."

He stopped and turned to her. "Future reference? Images of me as your
‘daddy' might get me hot."

She burst out laughing and shooed him toward the door. "Go to work ya
big perv."

Laughing, Spike walked out of the apartment. Buffy ran to the window and
opened it. "I love you! Good luck!" she shouted down to him.

He looked up at her and beamed. "Love you too!" he called.

Buffy watched him go, feeling unsettled about this for some reason. Was it
jealousy? The fact was she'd been trying to beat that feeling down and
squash it like a bug. Spike deserved this. It made him feel good about
himself; like he was doing something to support her and the baby. Which,
he was. But. . . she wanted to do something too. Was it selfish of her to feel
that perhaps her entire life was on hold now that she was pregnant? She
couldn't slay now and she had no clue what she wanted to do with herself.

"I need my mommy," she murmured. It was funny that no matter how old
she was, or the fact that she was going to be a mom herself, she still needed her mom.



There really was nothing like coming home. She loved her home with Spike and the life they had together, but there was something about visiting her mom that made her feel like a kid all over again.

"Mom?" she called out as she entered the apartment.

"Buffy?"

"Yep, it's me. Where are you?"

"In the study, just doing some bills. Hold on, I'll be right out."

"Okay!" Immediately, Buffy sent to the task of getting cookies and milk.
Settling down, she tucked into the chocolate chip cookies, dunking them in
her milk before letting the cookie crumble effortlessly in her mouth.

"Still my little girl," Joyce said affectionately as she came into the kitchen.
"How do you feel?"

"Good. How are you?"

"Fine, thank you," Joyce looked at her daughter critically. "Buffy, that
shirts looking a little snug."

"I don't have any maternity clothes yet," Buffy explained, mouthful of
cookie. She swallowed. "I took Spike shopping a few days ago and that was
a trip and a half. I figured I'd be pushing my luck if I asked him to help me
find maternity clothes."

Joyce smiled brightly and stood. "Let's go then."

"Huh?"

"Let's go shopping. Let me buy you some things."

"Really?"

"Yup. Come on honey, finish that cookie and let's go."

Buffy smiled sappily, "Okay mommy."



"Buffy, there has to be something you're interested in doing," Joyce said as
she watched Buffy devour her ice cream.

"I don't know and it's not like I can go out there and just find something.
No place is going to want to take a pregnant woman."

"You could lie . . ."

"Mom! I'm stunned," Buffy grinned. "Not like I can like waltzing around in
maternity clothes. I think they'd know." She sighed heavily and put her
spoon down. "Spike must think I'm a loser."

"Now I'm stunned! Buffy, where would you EVER get that idea? The man
thinks you hung the moon." She leaned forward. "Did he say something to
you?"

"No, of course not. I just. . . The whole reason Spike ever came into my life
in the first place was because I needed someone to ‘protect' me and teach
me how to slay and basically be my guide. Now I'm pregnant and . . .
useless. I can't slay, I can't do anything. I tried being Suzy Homemaker and
it's just not me. Once upon a time I thought that the only reason Spike
loved me was because I had super powers. I still have them, but now I can't
use them. What if he gets bored with me? What if I can't slay again? Then
what?"

Joyce reached across the table and took Buffy's hands in her own. "Buffy,
you are a bright girl and Spike is NOT with you because of your powers.
Yes, you are his match in that way, but that is not what makes a
relationship work. Especially not when two people such as yourself and
Spike get together. I have watched you two over the years, seen firsthand what you didn't see for so long. From day one it was as if you had your own language with each other. You both know what the other is thinking before one of you can even voice it. Both of you are so in sync with each other and I've seen the looks you two exchange when you think no one is looking. Buffy, Spike is your best friend. He always has been. He was always the one you wanted to run to when something went wrong and I know that Spike wouldn't have wanted it any other way. He still wouldn't.
Remember when you went away for that year?"

"Do I ever. How could I forget? He pitched a nutty when I came back."

"Buffy, just as he's your best friend, you're his. He was miserable when you left. He used to visit me five out of the seven days of the week. And when we would talk, most of the time he talked about you. If I left the room, I'd come back to find him gazing at a picture of you." Joyce sat back, pursing your lips together. "I don't know if I should tell you this . . . "

"Well, when you start like that, now you have to," Buffy told her.

"I tried setting him up."

"Mom!"

"I guess I had to see . . . That is, he had never said the words, so I knew but I'm like you . . . I need proof of something and often need to be hit over the head with a sledgehammer. So, I introduced him to a friend one night. Someone I knew in passing really, but someone that would make no bones about showing an interest in Spike."

"What happened?" Buffy asked, her jealousy flaring.

"He ran. I'd never seen him make such a hasty exit. When I asked him, in all seriousness later on what the problem was, he said ‘Joyce, don't you know? I love your daughter. I'll wait for her. Forever if I have to.'" Joyce took a deep breath. "We never spoke of it after that. Then you came home shortly after."

"Things like that change though, don't they? It's why there's such a thing as divorce," Buffy replied, sitting back.

"Honey, I've been there and I've seen it happen to other couples and no one has ever had the spark that you and Spike have. The least of your worries should be thinking Spike will ever get tired of you. It simply won't happen. And I'm sure if you tell him what you're feeling, he'll put your mind at ease."

"No. I know it deep down, I just, I feel insecure with myself. I shouldn't have to run for reassurance every time I'm feeling a quart low on my self esteem."

"Husbands and wives lean on each other when they need it most.
Remember: For Better or Worse, In Sickness and In Health," Joyce pointed
out firmly.

"Yeah, and my current status is hormonal. I need to be better at
deciphering a legitimate worry from a hormonal worry." And with
everything going on lately, Buffy thought to herself, the last thing I should
worry about is Spike ever leaving me. He wouldn't.



"Buffy."

"Mmm.."

"Buffy, wake up luv. Time to go home."

Buffy's eyes shot open and her gaze fell on Spike, sitting next to her as she
lay on the couch. He was stroking her hair and gazing at her tenderly.
Immediately, she reached up her arms and drew him down to her. "How'd
it go?" she asked sleepily.

"Excellent. Sorry I took so long."

"Lots of baddies?"

"A few, yeah."

"Tell me about your class."

"How about we go home and you get some rest? I'll tell you all about it
tomorrow."

"No…" she moaned, her eyelids feeling so heavy. "Now."

"Ssshhh…" he swooped her up in his arms and she wrapped her tired limbs around his neck.

She looked up at him. "Spike."

"Yeah, luv?"

"I'm sorry for when I left you that time."

"Kitten, that was a long time ago and it's all over now."

"Still. I was lucky."

"For?"

"For some other girl not coming along and taking you away from me."

Spike shuffled the papers in front of him, wondering what the hell Buffy was doing in the next room. She'd shooed him out of their bedroom, telling him she needed to get ready.

"For what?" he'd asked.

She gave him an impish grin and simply said, "you'll see."

His mate had something up her sleeve and he was sure it was something just a bit naughty. He could smell her arousal wafting to him. It was driving him nuts. He was ready to tear the door down if she didn't come out soon so he could—

"Oh Professor," she called out to him.

He grinned. Kitten wanted to play. Bolting from his seat he stalked to the
door, keeping his control in check.

He rapped on the door lightly. "Can I come in pet?"

"Please do Professor."

Smirking he swung the door open and felt his knees slightly buckle. Buffy
stood across the room in thigh high white tights, a short blue and green
plaid pleated skirt that fell just below her goodies and wore a white,
transparent cardigan. Her hair was done up in pig tails and she held a ruler
in her hand while sucking on a lollipop.

"I've been a very naughty student, professor," she told him coyly.

Spike started to slowly stalk her, his jeans feeling unbearably tight.

"Have you now?"

She nodded, plastering an innocent expression on her beautiful face. "I
haven't done any of my homework and when I think of you . . . " she trailed
off, batting her eyelashes.

He stood in front of her and toyed with the edge of her skirt. "Please finish
that thought Miss Summers."

"All I can think of is you taking me on a desk," she purred.

Spike closed his eyes. He was going to have a hard time reigning himself in
to play this little game of hers at this rate. "Naughty little girl," he
whispered.

"Don't you just wanna spank me?"

His control snapped. Hauling her up against him, he grabbed the ruler from
her and lifted the back of her skirt, rapping on her bottom with the ruler.
Lightly enough not to hurt her, but hard enough to feel the slight sting of it.
Buffy responded by letting out a little yelp and then grinding herself against
his erection.

Lifting her, he carried her to the bed and made sure to set her down
gently. The animal part of him wanted to toss her on the bed and pound
into her. He knew he couldn't do that though. He watched as she flipped
onto her stomach and started to crawl to the headboard. He grabbed her
hips and knelt on the bed, stilling her movements. Running his hand up her
bare legs and over her bottom that was now pink, he pulled her closer
against him so she could feel his erection nestling against her ass. Pulling
her up so she was flush against his chest he ran his hand down her front
while turning her head to kiss him.

He bit her lips lightly and gloried in her moan. He dipped his hand under
her skirt and found her already wet and dripping pussy, and teased her,
sliding his finger along her slit. She bucked her hips against him, seeking
contact.

"Want more?" he asked huskily.

"Mmmm…"

"Beg."

"Please Professor, more. Make me cum."

Finding where the skirt was Velcroed on the side, he ripped it away from
her and she gasped. Running his hands up her cardigan, he cupped her
breasts and teased the nipples with the pads of his fingers until they were
hard. Undoing the cardigan, he pushed it off her and sucked on her neck as
one hand toyed with her breasts and the other dived between her legs. This
time, he stroked her clit, just bringing her to the brink. He wanted her to
beg again.

"Spike…Professor….please," she panted.

Putting his fingers in his mouth, he tasted her essence and moaned. God,
she tasted so good. She surprised him by spinning around and undoing his
jeans. Taking his cock out she stroked it and his head fell back. When he felt
her mouth take him in, he snapped to attention and watched as her lips,
tainted red from the lolly, moved up and down his shaft. His control had
been on the brink and now he was near combustion. He lightly tugged on
her pig tails and brought her mouth up to his, devouring her. He wanted to
cum while deep inside her. Spinning her back around, she went down on all
fours and looked over her shoulder.

"Do it Professor. Take me," she commanded.

He didn't need to be told twice and thrust into her wetness. She fit him like
a glove.

"Uh, yeah…" he breathed and started to thrust. "Made for me you were,"
he murmured.

She pushed back at him and he grabbed her hips, setting the pace.

Bending over, he left kisses on her back, tasting her skin, running his
tongue around it.

"Oh god…" she moaned and he could tell she was close.

"Buffy. . . love you…love you so much…feel so good. So hot…tight…wet…"

"Mmm…all for you . . . "

"Mine…" he grunted and pulled her up against him as he started to move
faster.

"Yes," she breathed.

"Say it."

"Bite…me….and I will."

In a flash his fangs sank into her, tugging on her blood. Feeling her essence
pour in his mouth. He tasted her love, he purity of heart, her everything.
"Mine!" He growled and felt her walls tighten around him. "Say it!"

"Yours!" she screamed and came all around him. Her orgasm triggered his
and he came hard, nearly blacking out with the pleasure of it. Laving her
marks with his tongue lightly, he started to come down and turned her
head to kiss him, stroking her skin gently to bring her back down to Earth.

"Bloody amazing Buffy," he told her.

"Next time, I really want your desk."

He chuckled deeply, "I can make it happen baby. I WILL make it happen."



Spike was still thinking of his wild claiming of Buffy as his students finished
up the impromptu quiz he'd prepared for them. It'd been a full week so far
and he loved it. He loved that he was doing something that he loved and
that he was supporting his family. Unlife didn't get any better than having
Buffy, a child on the way and a career in which to support his family. He
frowned. It could get better however if her dreams could be explained.
Also, he'd felt a difference in her lately. Sometimes he'd catch her just
staring off into space pensively, and when he'd ask her what she was
thinking of, she'd shrug it off. Her mood swings had been frequently
changing and along with it he'd noticed an air of desperation about her. As if
she was afraid to let him out of her sight. It was so unlike Buffy that Spike
found himself more than just a little worried. He'd called Giles that day
while she'd taken her afternoon nap and told him he needed to find
something out about her dreams and quick. He was afraid Buffy knew more
than she was letting on—possibly more than she thought she knew. He
distinctly remembered a time when she'd had a bad feeling and Dru had
showed up to kill her. The idea sent dread rushing through him.

"Professor? Could I talk to you for a minute?"

He looked up to see his class had gone, leaving their papers on his desk as
he'd requested. All but one. Tara McClay. His best student. The girl was
quiet, shy and brilliant. She brought out a protectiveness in Spike rarely
felt for anyone beyond his family.

"Yes Tara? And please call me Spike."

She smiled shyly and blushed. Endearing, really. He smiled back at her and
stood, gathering the papers.

"There's something I've been wanting – and needing- to talk to you
about."

"Oh?" He stopped and waited.

She stood straight then, seeming to gather her courage. She looked him
straight in the eye. "You're a vampire aren't you?"

He couldn't move, couldn't think. He stared at her, trying to find someway
to deny it, trying to will his vocal cords to work.

"But you have a soul don't you?"

He continued to stare.

"Don't worry, I won't tell anyone. You're probably wondering how I know."
Now she looked sheepish again. "I know because. . . well, because. . . I'm the
Slayer."

How did—I don't understand—" Spike was sputtering.

"I've surprised you."

"Bleeding right you have! How the hell do you know--?"
Tara took a deep breath. "I've always known what a Slayer is just as I've always known
vampires exist."

"But how?"

Tara took a deep breath. "It's not something I like to really talk about."

Spike cocked his head to the side. "I don't see that you have much of a
choice Tara. You've just approached me and told me that you're not only
the new Slayer, but that you know I'm a vampire. I think some answers are
in order here."

She was blushing furiously now and looked almost afraid.

"Tara," he began gently. "I'm sorry. It's just knowing what you know . . . "

"I know," she said softly. "Do you mind if we sit down?"

"Not at all." He followed her to the row of desks and chairs and positioned
themselves so they faced one another.

She took a deep breath, gripping her books on her lap and looked up at him
nervously.

"I was maybe ten and my parents, my best friend and I were walking home
from a movie. We didn't live very far away and I come from a good
neighborhood, so walking home was no big deal. I mean, I used to hang out
in the park all day. Well, that evening on our way home, we were
ambushed."

Spike stared at her. "Vampires," he guessed.

She nodded. "Yes," she whispered. She took a shaky breath. "My best
friend didn't make it. They took her first and then went after me."

"What happened?" Spike asked, horrified.

Tears started to trail down her cheeks. "A girl, or a woman, I'm not sure
which. . . when you're ten everyone looks big to you . . . she came out of
nowhere and saved us. She staked them. Told us not to be walking around after dark anymore. Until then I didn't even know vampires existed! Thought it was just made up stories meant to scare you! And then this all powerful girl comes along . . . she was amazing. She saved us and after that I went in search for what she was. There was no way an ordinary girl or woman could do what she did. I went hunting for her, for what she was and I found the answers scattered in different places. Books, the net . . . most of it was chalked up to untrue lore, but I knew. . . I saw her."

"And now you've become her," Spike said quietly.

"I only figured it out when I felt as if I were hit with something. My whole
body tingled and I felt this rush of power course through me. It was unlike
anything I'd ever felt before. It was . . . amazing! From what I'd read—I
knew that had to be it. I KNEW it."

"A Watcher? Don't you have a Watcher? All you birds have a Watcher."

Tara shrugged. "I don't know what happened. I don't seem to have one."

Spike's eyes widened. "Who's been training you?

"No one, but myself. Well, I've had some help."

"Who?" he asked incredulously.

"My friend Willow


Chapter 9b


She hated the fact that she missed Spike when he was working. She felt pathetic. She did plenty fine before Spike. Yeah. She was, what, seventeen? How much of a life could you have before you could even drive? Well, she'd done well for herself after he'd come along. She frowned. Okay, so a lot of that time was spent with him. Except for when she took off to England for a year without him. She made it in a whole other country without him. Funny how she never connected how England was his country until now. When she was restless and lonely. She'd visited her mom earlier that day and Giles was at some sort of High Priest meeting. There was nothing on TV, not even reruns of Friends were grabbing her tonight. Probably because when she would watch that, it was with Spike.

What she needed was a down and dirty patrol. The kind she used to have. A really strong vampire coming along that would challenge her and mistake her for the Slayer – again. He'd throw a punch to her face and she'd duck it just in time meanwhile bending her knees low and swiping his legs out from under him. He'd lay there, struggling to get up just as she'd come at him with a stake and oh! Then his friends would show up! They'd charge her and . . . what would she do? Would she employ a ball of light at them, or maybe throw them back with a burst of energy or no, maybe use a burst of energy on one and pummel the other one with a roundhouse kick sending it back –

"Buffy, what are you thinking about?"

She'd been so absorbed in her fantasy she hadn't noticed Spike – the one
that had sparked this train of thought – come home.

"Huh?" she asked innocently.

"You had a big grin on your face, what were you thinking about? Me?"

"Of course!" No, I was thinking of fighting. Course then I could cap it off by
having sex with you after—

Coming over to her, he leaned down, hovering over her, going for a kiss.

She caught a whiff of something sour on him, something that had her
wrinkling her nose and pushing him away.

"What did you do that for?" he asked, stunned.

"You stink."

He sniffed around himself. "I don't stink!"

"You do. It's like you're covered in something. Did you come across a nasty
demon tonight?"

Now he looked hesitant which immediately had Buffy on alert. "All right fess up. I know that look. What's going on?"

Taking a deep unneeded breath, Spike sat down across from her.

Wrinkling her nose at him, she scooted to the other side of the room, rolling
the chair away from him.

"Buffy, I don't smell!" he exclaimed.

"Yes, you do."

"I'll go take a shower and then –"

"No, you're going to talk now. You made that ‘I just did something you're
not going to like' face."

"You should know that face pretty well considering you've made it yourself
enough. And, no, I didn't DO anything."

She gave him a look and crossed her arms, waiting.

"One of my students – my best student actually. Really bright girl. Shy,
sweet, unassuming. She blushes when I so much as call on her to answer a
question."

It was innocent really. A teacher talking about his student and beaming
about the fact that he had a really good one. It was normal right? Normal to
talk about a student so glowingly . . . that was normal right?

"Aren't there any male students that um, are really good?"

"Not really many men in the class, no. Why?" he looked at her
questioningly.

"No reason. Continue."

"Pet, I don't know how to come out and say this without well, just coming
out and saying it."

"So say it already."

"She approached me after class . . . "

Buffy's heart started to thump hard in her chest and she suddenly found it
hard to breathe. What the hell was he going to say and why was he
stalling!?

"Your heart is racing. Are you all right?"

"What the fuck happened Spike?" she barked at him, unable to contain her
growing agitation any longer.

"You don't think that – Buffy how could you—"

"If you don't tell me what happened, I'm going to castrate you," she told
him deeply and darkly.

"She's the Slayer. And, she knew I was a vampire."

Buffy sat motionless, staring at him, trying to process what he was saying
to her and not really succeeding. "She what?" she asked after a while.

"She's the Slayer and she knows I'm a vampire," he sighed again. "Seems
she knows about you too."

"How? Did you tell her?" she asked accusingly.

"Of course I bloody didn't! She knew because. . . well, because . . ."

"I swear to God," Buffy started warningly.

"She's a friend of Willow's."

Buffy jumped up from her seat. "Well. Isn't that a convenient? Quite a
coincidence, don't you think? That lying little…witch!"

"Buffy, you're a witch too."

She shot him a scathing look and he clamped his mouth shut.

"She lied to me. She lied to Giles! Giles! I mean, I've lied to Giles before,
but it's ME. I'm allowed. She barely knows him, she doesn't know how to
work him like I do—"

Spike raised an eyebrow.

"Get your mind out of the gutter," she snapped. "What the hell is going on?
Something fishy is going on here. Something . . . " she neared Spike and
wrinkled her nose. "Stinks," she finished.

"It's not AS covert op as you're making it sound pet."

"Oh?"

"Willow knew of us before Tara came into her life. When Tara was ‘called',
she told Willow, Willow helped her out but soon realized that she needed
more help than she could give her and so, she went to Giles. Not only to
gain Giles' help but he knew that you studied under him. She was hoping
that you – we – could help her out."

"She doesn't have a Watcher?"

"Apparently they seemed to have missed the boat on this one."

"And she just decided to share with Willow what she was. I assumed part
of being the Slayer was going incognito. No one was supposed to know
about you. You taught me that."

Spike ran a hand through his hair. "Well, everyone's different I imagine
pet. Her and the Willow bird are best friends. Have been for a while from
what I gather. She trusted her enough to tell her, figuring she could help
since she knew magic—"

"Willow told me that she didn't realize she had power until she was
attacked by a vampire. She lied. She knew before. She just used Giles to get
to me and you."

"I know. Tara apologized for that. She really didn't know of any other way
to be able to talk to us."

"So let me get this straight. Willow knew of us before Tara was called.
Then Tara gets called and Willow figures she needs the help of us to help
Tara out because as it turns out the Council somehow missed the boat on
sending her a Watcher. So, she lied to Giles, and she lied to me. She was
using us to help out her friend."

Spike had the decency to look sheepish. "Well when you put it that way. . .
but pet, the girl didn't have anyone. Put us in that situation. I would have
done it to help you any way I could."

Buffy rolled her eyes, "well when you put it that way . . . "

"In the grand scheme of things it was a little white lie. And, according to
Tara, Willow had power, but didn't realize just how much until she fried the
vamp to a crisp. So, yeah, she might have kept a sliver of the truth out, but
the truth is still there."

"If you choose to see it," Buffy muttered, sitting down.

"And Tara apologized."

Buffy looked at him. "Oh Tara apologized, did she? I feel much better now
thanks."

Now Spike gave her a look.

"So. Now what?"

"Now we see them tomorrow. Willow has a meeting with Giles tomorrow
evening already and I've asked Tara to join her. I told her we'd come over
so we could all talk and meet."

This was still niggling at her, just scratching at her skin, making her
uncomfortable. Aside from the fib Willow told and how Tara just popped up
out of nowhere, she couldn't pinpoint it.

"How did she know she was a Slayer if she didn't have a Watcher to guide
her?"

Spike relayed the story Tara told him.

Buffy had the good sense to not speak what she was thinking: What is she
Batman? What is that? Sob story of Slayer to be? Yet again another
coincidence. She witnesses a Slayer and then one day she is the Slayer.

"Horrible thing to have happen to a little girl, right?" Spike asked,
mistaking Buffy's frown for one of sympathy.

"Yeah," Buffy nodded slowly.

Silence fell. Shaking his head, almost vigorously, Spike jumped up. Before
she could question what that was about he was speaking. "Enough of that. I
want my kiss."

Grabbing her hand, he hauled her up against him, gently, and kissed her soundly. "I love my girl so much," he purred and nuzzled her neck. Placing a hand on her tummy he looked down at her tenderly, "how's my baby?" And then went back to kissing her. Somewhere in the back of her mind, Buffy noted the sour scent on him had disappeared

"Buffy you don't have to look as if you're going to skin them alive," Spike told her as they made their way to Giles'.

Buffy ignored him. She was angry with them and she intended to stay that way. And, if she was totally honest, she was a bit peeved at Spike. Along with not understanding where her usually observant and cut-through-the-bullshit Spike was. Something about Tara's story wasn't adding up, it sounded so . . . fake and fairy tale like. Why wasn't Spike, who was usually the first to catch on to these things, catching on this time?

Then there was the jealousy factor she was grappling with. Jealousy over how Spike worried about Tara. She told herself it was because Spike was a kind and gentle man that felt somehow obligated to Tara because she was his student and he had somewhat of a relationship with her. Besides, he had been brought to her by Whistler for the reason that she wasn't a Slayer and therefore had no Watcher. And for some reason, Tara had no Watcher. So, Spike was probably feeling responsible in that aspect too.

The only thing about that, that kept niggling in the back of her mind was that Spike had fallen in love with Buffy. Would he fall for Tara too? She rolled her eyes; she really needed to stop following that train of thought. Jealousy didn't get anyone anywhere. She looked over at Spike, eyeing him. He looked over at her and grinned and took her hand in his, kissing the back of her hand. Yep, definitely jealous for no reason.

Entering Giles', Buffy felt her guard go up immediately all over again. She found Giles making tea and Willow and the woman who must be Tara with their heads bent in conversation. Willow was glowing and Buffy cocked her head to the side. She remembered that Willow had mentioned a girlfriend. Was Tara it? She frowned, but Spike said that Tara specifically told him that Willow was a friend. The way Willow was looking at her and the way Tara's head bent in to her . . . Was there something going on? Could it be that Tara was gay too and just didn't want to say? God, that'd be a load off.

"Buffy, Spike! Do come in," Giles emerged from the kitchen area. "I trust all is well?" he looked pointedly at the couple.

"Nothing's changed," Buffy informed him. It hit Buffy suddenly. The same sour scent she swore Spike had last night when he came home. She sniffed the air.

"Buffy?" Giles was looking at her oddly.

"Do you smell something? Something sour?" Buffy asked, still sniffing and trying to get a handle on where it was coming from.

"Oh, oh! I've heard of this. Enhanced smell. Pregnant women get that all the time," Willow chipped in. Then she too sniffed the air. "Though I don't smell anything."

Buffy knitted her brows. She looked up at Giles, asking him with her eyes if this was part of her possible immortality. He shook his head and shrugged in response, then took off his glasses and started to clean them.

"Hi Buffy," Tara said, coming forward to stand in front of her.

Buffy quirked an eyebrow. "Hi."

Tara held out her hand. "It's nice to meet you."

Buffy looked at the proffered hand and then back up at Tara.

"Buffy," Spike urged, half reprimanding.

Now she was definitely annoyed. She didn't need to be scolded like some errant child.
She hastily took Tara's clammy hand. She had the urge to drop it and ended the handshake quickly, resisting the urge to wipe her hand on her pants. With her ‘clean' hand, she placed it on her stomach.

"Did you tell Giles?" she asked pointedly.

Tara nodded, "we did."

"So is everything out in the open now or are there any more secrets and lies you're
both keeping from us?" Buffy asked.

Willow gasped and Tara visibly shook under the harsh words.

"Buffy!" Giles and Spike burst out.

She looked up at their disapproving looks and her jaw set.

"We were trying to figure out why a Watcher was not here at the appropriate time,"
Giles started, trying to break up the tension a bit by talking shop.

"Yeah, that is a bit of odd isn't it?" Buffy said, looking directly at Tara. "How old are
you?"

"Twenty."

"Little old for a Slayer."

Tara was wringing her hands. "I—I uh, I d-don't r-really know about that."

"You said you studied Slayers. Surely you read that Slayers are usually called early in
life. Not a large life span those Slayers."

"Buffy!" Spike shouted. "What in the bleeding hell has gotten in you?"

"Me? Am I the ONLY one here that thinks to ask the important questions? She just fell out of the sky! And it just so HAPPENS that this one—" she gestured to Willow "Knows all about us." She focused her scathing glare on Willow. "You lied to us. You USED Giles."

Willow looked fearfully at Buffy. "Buffy, I'm sorry. I really did need Giles' help. I knew he was a High Priest, the best in the community. I needed help because what I did—I didn't make that up. Like I told you before, I did see you and Spike fighting vamps before. I never told a single soul. When Tara was called I had to help her. She doesn't have a Watcher, well, yet that we know of. I couldn't leave her to die. You'd do the same for someone you loved wouldn't you? It wasn't like I could just come at you and spring it on you. I went about it the wrong way and I apologize. I'm sorry, I truly am." Her explanation and apology was earnest. Earnest enough to make Buffy almost rethink her stance on them. Almost. She opened her mouth to speak when a wave of nausea hit her and her head started to hurt. She pressed a hand to her forehead and squeezed her eyes shut.

"Buffy, baby, you all right?" Spike asked, taking her hand and tilting her head up to look at him. He was studying her face.

"I'm not –" Swallowing hard, she rushed to the bathroom where she emptied the
contents of her dinner. Breaking out in a cold sweat, she braced herself against the wall with
one arm.

"Pet? What's going on? You never had morning sickness before…"

"Guess its decided to make a late appearance," she mumbled.

Wetting a washcloth, Spike pressed the cool cloth to the back of her neck. "Think it's a sign."

"Of?"

He smirked at her. "To be nicer and give Willow and Tara a chance?"

Yanking the cloth from his hand, she threw it in the sink and glared at him. "I want to
go home now."

His jaw was clenching, but he nodded curtly. She figured if she hadn't just been sick,
he would have had a few words to share. Striding ahead of him, she told Giles she was leaving.

"You feeling all right?" he asked concerned.

"No. God, it stinks in here!" she exclaimed and burst out the door, gasping in the fresh
air, filled her lungs with it.

She made her way to the car and climbed in, resting her head against the car window.
Spike joined her a few minutes later.

He didn't say a word until they'd reached their apartment and the sour stench following them, along with Buffy's sickness had disappeared.


Chapter Eleven

"I'm going to help her train, Buffy," Spike said as he put the car in park and cut the engine.

She turned to him. "You're WHAT?"

"I'm going to help her Buffy. I can't not help her. She'll get herself killed."

Buffy climbed out of the car and slammed the car door shut, trying to hold
back the strength she could feel coursing through her. Spike was on her
heels, following her up the stairs.

"Buffy, let's talk this out."

She marched to the bathroom to run a bath. She was so angry at Spike she
was shaking and feeling very near tears. She didn't get Spike, she didn't get
Giles and she did NOT like Tara. She was still on the fence about Willow.

"Pet, please talk to me," he said standing in the doorway. She turned to
face him.

"What are thinking?"

"I'm thinking that she's vulnerable not only being the Slayer but not
having a Watcher to help her. She needs our help."

"She needs our help. . . " Buffy muttered on a bitter chuckle. "She witnesses
her best friend get killed by a vampire when she's ten and then witnesses a
Slayer coming to save her and her family just in the nick of time. You're
telling me she never learned after that how to defend herself against
vampires? She's been a Slayer how long? Oh wait, I never got to ask that
because I was too busy being scolded like a child!"

"Buffy, I'm sorry—"

"I don't want to hear it! You're supposed to be my husband, my mate and
my best friend Spike. You didn't treat me like any of those things. You
humiliated me in front of them. Made me look like I was just some kind of
bitch."

"Pet I'm—"

"If you say I'm sorry I won't be responsible for my actions," she hissed.

"Buffy, you fought your first demon when you were sixteen. Whistler came
along and helped you until I came along. Do you know that it scares me to
think of you fighting demons at such an early age? If Whistler hadn't been
there and if I hadn't. . . Buffy, I don't want the same end to happen to Tara
that could have happened to you. When I see her, I see you. I see you
young and alone and without anyone there to have your back."

"She's twenty. She's not that young."

Spike ran his hand through his hair, frustrated. "What is your beef with
her? What is it that you don't like? Is it because you're jealous?"

"I don't trust her!"

"Why?" he burst out, "tell me Buffy, why?"

"She lied to us!"

"Buffy . . . you are hardly one to throw stones about lying. You lied to me
for a fucking year when you took off to England! And you kept this dream
from me for over a month! All she did was keep a shade of the truth out –"

"A shade that could have put us in danger. Once every vamp in the place
gets wind that she's the Slayer, all of us who associated with her are in
danger! Including your baby."

"OUR baby."

"Then act like a goddamn father and ask the right questions."

That was the wrong thing to say and Buffy knew it the minute it flew out of
her mouth. Spike's jaw started twitching and his fists were balled up at his
sides. Without a word, he spun around and stormed away. Buffy stood
there, unable to bring herself to go after him even though she knew she
should. It didn't matter because a minute later, the door slammed shut.



Her body was tired, but her mind was racing. She laid there, waiting for
Spike to return and worrying about what kind of trouble he was getting
himself into. She knew he had to be drinking. She just hoped he wasn't
planning on patrolling and fighting. Needless to say it had her worried. So
worried, that she shot out of bed in the next instant as images of Spike
fighting drunk and getting seriously injured or staked passed through her
mind. Pulling on her maternity jeans and a shirt, she slipped on her shoes
and headed for the door. Flipping open the door, Spike nearly fell through
it.

"Bloody ‘ell!" he sputtered and caught himself.

She wrinkled her nose as the scent of whiskey drifted from him.

"Where are you going?" Spike drawled as he propped himself up against
the wall.

"I was going out to look for you," she told him.

"No you're not Goldilocks."

"Well, not now. You're right here."

He shook his head. "You're not allowed to go out there no matter what," he
pointed at her, swaying in front of her. "I take care of what's mine and you
are mine. You and the baby. I know how to be a goddamned father and a
good one! I wouldn't ever let anything hurt you."

"Spike, I want to have this conversation with you, but now when you're
like this. Just rest your drunken mind that I didn't mean it and I'm sorry."

"Sorry," he snorted. "Sorry ain't gonna cut what you said to me." He
pressed a hand over his heart. "That hurt Buffy. You sayin' I would ever
put the baby in danger? Or you? I couldn't . . . " his eyes welled up in tears.
"How could you think it?"

It wasn't often that Spike cried when drunk. It was unnerving. Moving
towards him, she wrapped an arm around his waist. "Come on Big Bad, let's
get you in a nice shower and then into bed okay?"

He allowed her to drag him to the bathroom. She turned the spray on and
helped him undress. Tears flowed, but he wasn't making a sound otherwise.
When he was naked – and now hard – he pulled her so that she was flush
against his front. "Come with me," he murmured huskily, nuzzling her neck.


The temptation to follow him into the shower was almost overwhelming.
She stared up at him. At his sad eyes with anger lurking just below the
surface. Anger at her. She knew also that as happy as she was to have him
safe and at home, sex wasn't going to solve the discord between them. They'd both been hurtful and what he was offering wouldn't assuage the anger. She refused to have that be the way they communicated. She also didn't want sex to toss what happened earlier under the rug.

"No baby," she told him gently. "I'll sit on the can and wait for you okay?"

"You don't love me anymore," he whimpered, burying his face further in
her neck and clutching her closer.

Why had she been jealous of Tara again exactly? Standing there with his
erection pressed against her stomach and his face buried in her neck with
tears soaking her shirt, she suddenly felt silly for thinking Spike felt
something other than ‘duty' for Tara.

"I love you Spike. I love you more than anything."

"Do you forgive me?" he asked, popping his head up to look at her.

"Yes, but we'll still need to talk."

He nodded.

"Can you forgive me?"

He nodded again.

"I'll ask again when you're sober. In you go," and she helped him into the
shower. Sitting on the toilet, she buried her head in her hands, suddenly
exhausted. She blamed Tara for this. It was just yet another strike against
the mysterious girl.

Chapter Twelve

Not surprisingly, Buffy awoke before Spike. Somehow she managed to free herself from his grasp and crawl out of bed. She had a wicked thirst for blood that morning. She'd had a craving for it after the accidental blood drinking incident, but had ignored it. This morning however, she couldn't. It didn't even turn her stomach the way she thought it would to prepare it. And as she took long gulps of it, she felt satisfied in the fact that obviously the baby needed it. She sighed heavily as she sat down at the kitchen table and tried to figure out exactly what the hell was going on. Not just with her, but with Spike and Giles as well. The two men that had taught her everything she knew about Slayers and vampires were blatantly ignoring all the weirdness that was Tara popping into their lives like that. Okay, so yes, Slayers were all over and it all depended on when they were called. So, maybe the Slayer before Tara had died later, thereby causing Tara to be called later than most Slayers were. Okay, that was a rational explanation. But Buffy wanted confirmation on it. She wanted to know who the last Slayer was and when she died. And weren't all Slayers equipped with Watchers at the point of call? Why was Tara without a Watcher? The innocent little girl act wasn't flying with Buffy. She couldn't explain it, but there was something so off with Tara it ate at her. Why wasn't anyone else—namely Giles and Spike – catching on to that? They were usually incredible judges of character and it was as if they were blindsided. Buffy sat upright, realization hitting her. Yes, blindsided. That's it exactly. Something had to be making them act that way. Something about Tara. Surely they couldn't be that taken by her helpless act—could they? The question was, where to start?

Willow, that's where.

The girl had to know things. Spike said they'd been friends. Well, that was according to what Tara had told him. Willow had claimed to have a girlfriend. And the way their heads had been bent in conversation yesterday, had signaled closeness that was more than just friendly.

Making her way to the bathroom, Buffy cleaned herself up quickly and changed. Scrawling a quick note to Spike that she'd gone out for a bit, she headed on her way out. She was going to pay Willow a visit.


Finding the girl proved to more difficult than she had thought. Giles had been hesitant to release the information to her, admonishing her instead for her behavior the night before. Buffy thought it best to go in one ear and out the other. She wasn't going to get into it with Giles too. She had enough problems with Spike at home to tend to. When Buffy stated that she merely wanted a chance to apologize to Willow and maybe since Spike was going to patrol with Tara, she could work magic with Willow—he'd relented in a big way and gave her Willow's address.

Knocking on Willow's door, Buffy had a brief feeling of guilt wash over her. She was no better than they were at lying, really. She placed her hand over her stomach and told herself that it was for a good reason. She was protecting her family by getting to the bottom of the mystery.

"Buffy!" Willow exclaimed, surprised.

"I need to talk to you. Is this a bad time?"

Willow stared at her in disbelief. "You need to talk to me?"

"Yes. Do you mind if we went to the park or something to talk?" The idea of being some place where Tara might have inhabited made her sick to her stomach.

"Uh, yeah. Let me just grab my purse."

Willow joined her a minute later and smiled sheepishly at Buffy. "I'm surprised to see you."

"I can imagine your surprise. I haven't been exactly welcoming to you."

Willow looked down, "I don't blame you Buffy. I really don't. I mean, you were right last night. I did lie to Giles and you. I just didn't know what else to do and Tara was insistent about it . . . I think she's really scared about being a Slayer."

"Is she?" That doesn't exactly jive with what Spike told her.

"Yeah, I mean it's a lot of responsibility. But you should know about that huh?"

"I'm not a Slayer."

"But you have the powers – and then some – of one. You still fight."

Buffy looked down at and away as they walked. "I haven't been able to fight lately."

"As well you shouldn't. You're pregnant. How is it that you became pregnant by a vampire anyway? I thought you know, their boys didn't swim."

"Your guess is as good as mine, Willow."

"Spike seems like a really great vampire—guy—what should I call him?"

Buffy smiled, "Guy. He prefers guy. Depending on my mood, I prefer guy too. Makes him feel good."

"Tara used to go on and on about what a great professor he was and how smart. Not to mention how handsome."

Buffy nodded slowly. Willow was trying to talk Tara up, that much was clear. Trying to make Buffy like her. Little did Willow know however that what she was doing was digging Tara's grave.
"So, um, how does your girlfriend feel about all the help you've been giving Tara? I mean, you've been extremely helpful to her lately. Above and beyond with all the patrolling and training. I think I'd be jealous."

Willow fell silent. "I don't think I have a girlfriend anymore," she said glumly.

"I'm sorry. Was it because of Tara?"

"No, well . . . yeah. Tara was my girlfriend Buffy."

She knew it! She felt like yelling she knew it at Willow, but instead stopped and gazed imploringly at Willow. "What happened? You're not together anymore? I know that if Tara is scared about being the Slayer it could just be that she's also afraid that you'll get hurt. Get caught in the crossfire and all that stuff. I had to separate my friends very much so from my work. They still don't know. Well, they have an inkling, but I've never elaborated on it. Usually Slayers don't have much in the way of friends and lovers." She was getting really good at bullshitting; she wanted to pat herself on the back for it.

"Do you think that could be it?" Willow asked hopefully. She looked so sad that Buffy was getting the distinct feeling that Willow really was an innocent in all this. "She changed ever since she was called."

"How was she called without a Watcher? It just doesn't make sense to me. It's actually worrisome that she doesn't have one." Don't lay it on too thick, Buffy.

"She just knew. She was at my door step one day telling me she was the Slayer. I didn't know anything about it and then she told me about when she was little, but. . . I thought I knew everything about her!" Willow was unloading, a dam had broken inside her and she was letting it all out. "We'd been together for over a year. You figure after all that time, you know a person. I mean, she knew all about me being a witch. But she never told me that story about her best friend or knowing about Slayers. And then one day, there she is on my doorstep telling me she's a Slayer and blabbing this horrific story to me about what she witnessed. It was overwhelming to take all in. I was worried, because, well, I love her and I didn't know what I could do to help. She told me I must know someone that could help her; that could help us. She cried and told me she didn't want to die. So of course I had to tell her about you and Spike and Giles. She begged me to go to Giles and get some help. I was so scared for her Buffy, so that's what I did." Tears streamed down her cheeks now. "I probably should have just gone to see you first, but I was sure you'd think I was a lunatic and turn me away. I'm sorry, Buffy. I didn't mean to use you and Giles that way. She was just so insistent. . . Then when Spike started teaching at the school, she took his class."

"Did she know who he was? Had she seen us?"

"Not that I know of, no. She is a lit major, though I thought she'd already taken that class. . . She came home and told me that she'd met Spike." She stopped and wiped away some tears. "Ever since then, she'd been pulling back from me. I just don't know what to do Buffy. She runs hot and cold so often. . . she loves me and then she backs off. I love her so much and when she's there I can't deny her . . . I don't know what to do," Willow said so helplessly Buffy felt sorry for the girl. The wheels were turning in Buffy's mind. Things were clicking into place.

"Willow, do you know if Tara grew up around here?"

"She grew up in Salem, actually."

Buffy looked down at her watch. It was still early enough for her to take a bus to Salem. Spike was probably going to be nursing his hangover. . . a trip into Salem would take a while though. No, she'd go home first to Spike and then continue her investigation tomorrow. Giving Willow a huge hug, she offered to buy the distraught girl some lunch.



Checking her watch, she figured Spike was probably not only up –and had been up for a while – but probably wondering where the hell she was. He'd probably take it as her still being pissed at him and ‘punishing' him by leaving him. However, she wasn't sure how he was going to take the news of where she'd been. And while she knew that she had to be honest – SHOULD be honest, a large part of her wanted to keep quiet until she had tangible information. She catalogued in her mind what she'd learned and while it was all fishy and validated the fact that she felt Tara was off, she wasn't sure if Spike would see it that way. He'd think she was just being hormonal and territorial. Bitchy.

The thought actually angered her. She looked down at her arms, at the scars Drusilla had left the last time Buffy had a bad feeling. Those scars told her she wasn't wrong. They also told her she needed to be up front and honest with Spike. She had a family to save.

"Where were you?" he asked as soon as she entered the apartment.

He was standing with his back to her, fixing some blood. He appeared to have just showered as his hair was wet. He was barefoot with his usual jeans on and when he walked over to the microwave, she noticed his black shirt was hanging open.

She didn't expect him to be so direct right away and had to take a minute to gather her thoughts. "I didn't expect that right away," she told him honestly.

He looked over his shoulder. "Oh? Had to think of a lie then?"

She pursed her lips together. This was a far cry from the Spike that had
wept in her arms last night. "You know it's funny. When I keep secrets, I
get your attitude. When I tell you the truth, I get attitude too. So you tell
me Spike, what should I do? Cause I'll do it. Pick a side and stick to it."

She saw his shoulders slack and slouch. He turned to her, "I'm sorry.
Again." He scratched the back of his head, "When I woke up and you were
gone . . . . I assumed you were still mad at me and didn't want to be around
me. Coupled with the headache and feeling like I'd been hit by a truck…"

She cocked her head to the side. "Any better?"

He nodded. "Now that you're home, yes."

"Don't break out the happiness just yet," she said hesitantly.

Taking his mug out of the microwave, he sipped it and regarded her
curiously. "Oh?"

"I went to go see Willow," and she winced, waiting for the yelling.

He nodded slowly, thoughtfully. "And?"

"And I learned some interesting things about your girl."

His expression darkened. "She's not my girl Buffy. You're my girl."

"From the way you defended her last night, I wasn't sure anymore."

"How can you say that to me? How can you think that? Buffy . . . You're
my world. You're everything to me. You and the baby are all that matters."

"Then I don't want you spending any time with Tara," she told him firmly.

"She's in my class, Buffy."

"And that's it. I don't want you to spend any time beyond that with her."

He cocked his head to the side. "What did you find out Buffy?"

"Well, I found out that she goes and on about you all the time."

"Can you blame her pet?" he smirked.

She shot him a glare. "Not now," she snapped.

He put his mug down and started for her. "Pet, I was kidding, trying to
lighten the mood. Come here –" and he reached for her.

She backed away, "no. We're doing this. We're talking. You want honesty,
then you're getting it. Laid right out on the table for you. No jokes, no
holding back. Can you handle it? Can you handle All Honest Buffy?"

His jaw clenched and he stood tall. "Give it to me."

"All right. I think Tara's a liar. I think something's going on with her and I
think that whatever it is, it has to do with you. Did Tara tell you that Willow
and her were dating?"

Spike's eyes widened.

"Exactly. She's gay Spike. Or at least she was. Willow said she changed
after she was ‘chosen'. She said she stepped back from her and now blows
hot and cold with her. Willow has a hard time saying no to her which is why
she sought us out when Tara pleaded with her that she must know
someone that could help her. Funny that, don't you think? Almost like Tara
knew of us, but didn't know how to get to us and used Willow as her ‘in'.
Tried to make it innocent and all in the name of helping a friend and
keeping the Slayer thing on the down low, but it's fishy to me just the same.
Especially since before Willow could meet you, Tara was taking your class
and already approached you. Almost like she just couldn't wait."

"For?"

"That's where I'm lost. And something struck me when Willow said that
she had a hard time saying no to her. . ." Buffy started pacing.

"Like?"

"The way you and Giles are in her presence. How you just can't say no to
her, the way you rush to her defense."

"I told you pet, it's got nothing to do with me having a thing for her! It has
everything to do with not wanting her to die. The way you could have.
Wouldn't be able to live with myself if I could have helped someone and
didn't. What if I…what if I hadn't helped you?" he finished on a whisper.

"And I'm telling you that she's up to something. How funny is it that she
doesn't have a Watcher still. She's been a Slayer for some time now and still
no Watcher? The Council may be made up of a bunch of ‘wankers', but from
what you've told me, they're efficient when it comes to duty. You'd think
they'd be all over their only Slayer at the moment. And yet they're not."

"Coincedence?"

"That's just it. Too many things are coincidental and so fake sounding.
Everything she's told us sounds like a made up fairy tale."

"If you call slaying demons and vamps that could kill you a fairy tale,"
Spike said dryly. He looked up at her and spoke again before she could
respond. "But I know what you mean."

"Do you?"

He met her eyes and said seriously, "Yes. Buffy, if you don't want me to
help her, then I won't."

"Do you believe me though? Do you see what I'm seeing?"

"Yes, pet."

"But you still need proof, right?"

"Don't you?"

"Yes. And I'm going to get it."


"How?"

"Short of confronting her? I don't know yet. But I will find a way."

"Can I hold you now baby? I really need my girl in my arms now."

She gave him a weak smile and allowed him to engulf her in his arms. She
hugged him back and inhaled his soapy scent, stopping when she could
trace just the slightest scent of something sour on him.

What the hell was it? And why did she keep on smelling it?
 

Spike wasn't pleased with her. Truthfully, she didn't really care. What she was doing she was doing for their family. And since Spike usually trusted her instincts – especially when she was this adamant about them – and now he was second guessing her, it only confirmed to her that something was up. She could easily point the finger at Tara since all of their discord had come the moment she arrived, however beyond that, she couldn't point to any concrete proof. How do you explain to someone that it's possible they could be under some kind of spell whilst under the spell? Especially when it was just hypothetical at this point.



And so, she made her way to back of the classroom, willing to blend into the corner and let Spike do his thing. Besides, she'd been wanting to see her sexy husband teach anyway. She was hoping it would have been under better circumstanced –namely when he wasn't so angry with her—but she had stood firm.



"You don't trust me!" he accused.



"I do trust you. I don't trust her."



That wasn't enough for Spike. Her insistence of being there at his class so Tara didn't have a chance alone with him, spoke volumes to Spike of her mistrust for him. She hoped one day he'd understand that she truly did trust him. Trust for them had been a bumpy and long, winding road so for him to even suggest she didn't trust him was laughable at best.



Their eyes met across the room as it began to fill up and Buffy tried to smile encouragingly at him. The corner of his mouth turned up, in an attempt of a smile, then he focused back on his task.



Buffy could pinpoint the moment Tara entered the room for a few different reasons. For one, the hairs on the back of her neck stood on end, second, Spike's attention immediately darted toward the girl and his smile was easy for her as it had not been for Buffy. Thirdly, the smell. Yes, the sour smell was beginning to permeate the room. Buffy glanced around, noting no one seemed to notice it. On their way to class earlier Buffy had used the silence Spike was treating her to catalogue her observations and hunches on Tara. Willow's claim that she was unable to deny Tara anything – as Spike and Giles seemed unable to deny her anything as well – sparked Buffy's memories of the first night Spike had met Tara and had come home smelling sour. Then, she'd smelt it the night she met Tara. Along with a feeling of nausea that had her throwing up her dinner in Giles' bathroom. Then this afternoon she'd smelt it on him – a trace of it so faint that if she hadn't been in his arms, she never would have noticed. Whatever the sour scent was, it trailed them and its intensity heightened and lessened seemingly due the proximity of Tara. That was Buffy's hypothesis anyway. Since no one else smelled it, she was sure that was going to be damn near impossible to prove.



The look of shock, and then disappointment, in seeing Buffy almost had Buffy grinning at the girl. In fact, she couldn't help letting a little smirk escape. She felt like shouting "Take that!" to her, but instead watched the girl as she shyly ducked her head and made her way to her seat.



Across the room.



Buffy sat back and tried hard, so hard, to observe without letting her own insecurities or jealousies take over. It was hard. Especially when Spike and Tara kept glancing at each other. With every look Spike gave to Tara, he would immediately back up with one to Buffy. She tried hard to keep her expression impassive, but found it difficult. She found herself repeating "It has to be a spell. He loves me. Just me. It's Tara. She's evil. It's a spell. He loves me."



By the end of class, Buffy was more than ready to get out away from Tara. She felt wave after wave of nausea hit her and wondered briefly if Tara was upping the mojo due to her surprise visit to Spike's class. And when the last student, sans Tara, had filed out of the room, Buffy flew to the front of the room and wrapped herself around Spike.



"Baby," she purred, "You were magnificent."



Spike seemed to be warring with himself. She could feel the tension within him as his arms came around her gingerly. Buffy's head turned just slightly and she stared Tara down.



"H-hi Buffy. How are you?"



"Fine."



Spike nudged her. Buffy resisted the urge to elbow him in the stomach. Instead she parted from Spike and stood in front of him, protecting him.



"Are you patrolling with us tonight?" Tara asked, tucking some hair behind her ear and ducking her head.



"No. We're not patrolling. We're going home and so are you."



"Buffy, you don't have to be rude," Spike muttered.



Buffy bit her tongue and smiled sweetly at Tara. "Have a good night!"

Tara appeared thoroughly confused and with a stuttered good night, shuffled out of the room.



Buffy braced herself.



"Buffy honestly! How can you just let the girl go out there with no one to help her?" He demanded angrily.



"She's the fucking Slayer! She'll figure it out. She saw one remember? I'm sure she has the logistics down. Stake, heart, dust."



He was seething and Buffy wanted nothing more than to slap him for not trusting HER. She was trying so hard to keep herself together, to keep them together and she was failing miserably. She supposed telling him about visiting Tara's hometown tomorrow would be a huge mistake so instead she told him calmly that she was going out with her mother the following day for the day. Spike grunted his acceptance and Buffy followed him out the door wondering if she was cracking up and praying for some guidance.

Chapter 15



"Should I sleep on the couch or just go to my mother's so you don't have to see me?" Buffy asked wearily as they walked through the door at home.



Spike stopped and turned to her. "What?" Once the words sunk in and the meaning behind them, his entire expression softened. "Buffy, no . . . " he shook his head and walked to her, his arms reaching to gather her in his arms. Buffy held up her hands to stop him. He looked hurt, but he had no idea how much having him defend Tara hurt her. Whatever spell was being woven, it was tearing them apart and it killed her that Spike couldn't see it. She didn't want to fall in his arms just to have him push her away later.



"Buffy?" he asked softly, sadly and it was almost her undoing. "No," he was shaking his head. "You're my wife and my mate and you stay here with me."



"You don't act like I'm your mate. I asked you once if it was me or if it was

because I had super powers. I also said once that we'd never given anyone

else a chance. Is it true Spike? Are you finding the accusations I once made

true now? Do you wish you could give me up for Tara?"



His eyes widened and he rushed to her, wrapping her in his arms before

she could stop him. "No, Buffy. God how can you think that? It's you, only

you. You know that, you have to know that!"



"You were upset with me today for thinking I didn't trust you. When the

fact of the matter is, you don't trust me. Can't you see it? Can't you see that

when Tara is away you're with me again, but when she's near all we do is

argue? Spike, I saw it in class today. I saw how you kept looking at her!

Why can't you see it? It's a spell Spike. She's got you on a spell and it's

tearing us apart and I just want you to trust me!" She was crying now and

she didn't care to hold back. She was just so frustrated by the whole

situation and by not having proof . . .



"I'm just really tired of it," Buffy murmured, trying to move out of his

arms. He gripped her against him.



"What do you mean?" he asked hoarsely.



"I mean that I'm tired. I really am just tired. Let me go Spike."



"You're staying here Buffy. God dammit you can't just run off every time

something gets a little rough. You just take off. Just like you did when you

went to London—"



She pushed him away roughly. "How long is that going to be flung in my

face for?"



"When you stop running from us!"



"You don't see what's happening!"



"Then make me see it!"



"I can't make you see it without proof. You don't see it when she's around.

She's always around in some way even when she's not here!!"



"I don't know what to do Buffy. I'm sorry baby, I'm sorry, please just don't

leave me."



"That's just it Spike," she sobbed. "I'm not leaving you. You're leaving me."







In the end, Buffy did stay as Spike wouldn't let her past the door and Buffy just didn't have it in her to argue any longer. He also refused to leave her and crawled in next to her, holding her close to him and refusing to let her go. Ever. Buffy just let him and listened with tears streaming down her cheeks. She wondered if she was going to have to threaten leaving to get him back until she could prove Tara was some kind of fraud.



The next morning he'd begged her to stay with him and as much as she wanted to, she couldn't. She was on a mission and the mission was to find out the truth about Tara. If she could prove at least one part of Tara's Slayer story was a lie and get proof, then she'd be able to have something tangible to convince her loved ones with. Her other agenda was to find out if there was any foul play in Tara's past. Something lurking there that made her evil. A rough childhood, dabbling in the Dark Arts—something, anything. If she had a background to work with, she might have a better way to fight and conquer her. She was finally able to leave that morning with the promise that she'd check in and that he could call to check in as well. Making a big show of showing him the cell in her purse, she left.



She did plan on taking her mother with her. She was the irrefutable one. The one that Spike would listen to in a heartbeat. She filled her mother in on what was going on as they drove into Salem and Joyce vowed to help in anyway she could. She had been upset and appalled, not to mention hurt that she'd been kept out of the loop. Buffy explained it was probably best that way since any exposure to Tara would have turned her too.



Tracing Tara was easy. Finding the library, she did a search on the net and then looked up her parents which Willow had informed her were still alive. She then did a search on the happenings in the town on a death of a little girl by mysterious means around the time Tara had been a young girl. She came across nothing of the sort. With an address in her hand, she found a nearby electronics store and bought herself a compact tape recorder. She'd decided in the end that if Tara's family or anything remotely associated with the girl could have been contaminated with whatever mojo was working on everyone else but Buffy, her mother could be contaminated in kind and thus be of no help to her. Leaving her mother to wait in the car, Buffy made the trek up to Tara's childhood home and knocked on the door.



A woman, aged about forty or so answered the door. She had a friendly smile, Tara's glossy brown hair and bright eyes. She was a bit on the frumpy side, wearing plain brown pants and a white t-shirt at least two sizes too big.



"Hi, can I help you?"



"Mrs. McClay?"



"Yes, that's me," she looked at Buffy strangely.



"Hi, my name is uh . . . Brenda. Brenda Starr." Great job Buffy. Couldn't

even come up with a name from the high school yearbook. One thing was

for sure. She wasn't going to be asked to go into Private Investigation

anytime soon. Best to keep going with the ruse. "I went to high school with

Tara for a while until I moved away and I was wondering if she still lived

here? It's been so long since I've seen her . . . "



"Oh hon, Tara doesn't live here anymore. Well, I take that back. She does

on holidays and the occasional weekend but she goes to school at Boston

College."



"Oh," Buffy frowned, "That's too bad that I missed her."



"Come in, come in. Would you like something to drink?"



"Oh sure! Thanks!" Buffy entered the small home, taking in the old and

worn woodwork and the clutter of papers on tables and on the floor. It was

welcoming, homey and more importantly—no sour smell.



Mrs. McClay bustled about the kitchen, making iced tea.



"Salem is just so busy and fun, isn't it?" Buffy started.



The woman smiled. "It is. Almost makes me feel that much more

protected, being surrounded by so many witches."



Buffy smiled, thanking her silently for the opening. "Do you practice at

all?"



"Heavens no. But I don't look down on those who do."



"Tara, she seemed interested in Wicca for a while there . . . "Buffy let that

trail off, hoping that Mrs. McClay would take the bait.



She nodded as she poured Buffy a tall glass of tea. "She was. Went through

a phase –well, you must remember since you were friends."



"Yeah, she never spoke much to me about it." She hoped she didn't blow

her cover.



"She was interested, but it never took flight. She dabbled in it, but it's not

for everyone you know?"



Buffy nodded. "Yeah, I get that completely." Ha! If she only knew! Some

were called to it from lifetimes past, others, like herself, were born with it.



Mrs. McClay cocked her head to the side and studied Buffy. "She never

spoke about you, I'm afraid to say."



"Well, Tara and I, we, uh, we talked in school mostly, but we never saw

much of each other outside of school. I always thought she was rather nice

though."



"Yeah, Tara was always quiet in high school. She was always such a loner."



"I remember," Buffy replied, nodding.



"Always so shy, Tara was. Her best friend growing up was quite outspoken

and I'm afraid after her friend left, she kind of retreated within herself."



Could this be the infamous friend who'd died from the vampire?



"Oh?"



Mrs. McClay smiled fondly. "Amanda Livingston. She moved when Tara

was young."



"How young?"



"Ten."



"I remember her mentioning an Amanda now that you mention it! She

made it seem as if she died or something, the whole thing was so dire,"

Buffy said giggling nervously.



Mrs. McClay rolled her eyes. "I suppose when you're so young and your

best friend moves across country it does seem as if it is the end of the

world. Amanda was her link to the world. She kept her busy that one. And

her family was close to ours so it was very sad when they moved. She and

Tara lost touch, as you do when you're young."



"That's too bad. Tara is such a sweet girl."



"She is. She found a new best friend I hear in Boston. A girl named Willow.

All Tara did the first year she attended was talk of her."



"Sounds like you don't hear from her much anymore."



Mrs. McClay shook her head sadly. "I don't. Seems almost as if she

dropped off the planet. She used to call every day and now . . . now we –her

father and I – are lucky to hear from her once a week."



"That's too bad," Buffy said, feeling the pieces all clicking into place.

Something was afoot all right, and Buffy had a sudden sinking feeling that it

might not have anything to do with Tara at all.





A/N: thank you so much for the reviews guys!! :)


Chapter Sixteen

Buffy spoke with Tara's mother for over an hour and by the end of her conversation Buffy felt she had a handle on the real Tara. The real Tara was the shy, meek girl that she had bee portraying to the group. However, something had happened to her. Something made her change. Willow had expressed a change in Tara since being called and her mother had also expressed a change in her –Buffy put two and two together and came to the conclusion that something happened to Tara upon being called.

When Mrs. McClay had directed Buffy to the bathroom on the second floor, Buffy had taken a detour, quickly finding Tara's room. No lingering sour scents and nothing pointing at foul play from the girl. In fact, the gigantic cross hanging on the wall behind her bed suggested to Buffy that Tara was deep in her faith. She felt nothing but peace and ease from the house, from Tara's room.

Panic set in quickly after that.

If it wasn't Tara then what was it? And why? And how could she be fight
something that she just didn't know what it was or what was happening?
Excusing herself quickly from Mrs. McClay, Buffy slumped into her
mothers car, feeling weary.

"Well?"

"I feel as if so much is swirling around in my head and I can't make sense
of any of it," Buffy replied rubbing her forehead.

"Is there evil afoot?"

"Yeah. I'm just not sure where anymore."


"Has Spike called?"

Buffy's head snapped up. Spike. She checked her phone, reaching in and
grabbing it out of her purse. "I haven't heard from him all day . . . " Buffy
trailed off. It was almost three in the afternoon. That was odd. The way
he'd acted that morning, she was surprised she'd made it out the door. She
quickly pressed the speed dial to their home and pressed the phone to her
ear. It rang eleven times. The answering machine would have picked up
after the third ring.

"Mom, get home now. Something's not right."

"What is it honey?" Joyce asked, pulling out onto the street.

"He's not answering. It's the middle of the day. Something's wrong." Tears
sprang to her eyes.

"Buffy honey, you need to calm down. Breathe. Try again. Call Giles and
see if he's there."

"He's a vampire mom! He'd be dust if he left!"

"He's been known to use a blanket or hats in cases of emergency."

"Yeah, an emergency! What could have possibly happened that no one
could have called us!" Buffy cried hysterically.

"Buffy, stop! You're going to make yourself sick."

"Something's not right," Buffy whimpered as she gripped the door and
started to pray.



She couldn't get a hold of anyone and the hour drive back home was the
longest hour of Buffy's life. When they finally made it to the apartment,
Buffy flew out of the car, ordering Joyce to stay put. Flying up the stairs as
best she could as to not hurt herself or the baby, Buffy was hit by the sour
smell practically seeping outside the door. The scent was stronger than it
had ever been and she swore she could practically see a green mist oozing
out the door.


Tara was paying a visit and whatever was happening behind those doors,
she was making it a doozy. Or IT was making it a doozy.

Opening the door, Buffy crept inside, making sure to watch her back. One
thing she'd learned from horror movies and her life: Always watch your
back.

She opened her mouth to yell for Spike when she heard a moan. She
strained to hear. Moan of pleasure or pain? She heard it again. Definite
moan of pleasure. Her heart dropped into her stomach and as if on auto
pilot she moved into the bedroom. What she saw made her clutch her
heart.

Spike was lying, with no shirt on, on the bed and Tara . . . Tara was on top
of him, unbuttoning his pants. Spike was looking up at her with his eyes half
massed with passion, his mouth seeking hers. Tara was muttering
something to him that Buffy couldn't make out.

Buffy snapped into action and lunged forward, grabbing Tara by her
ponytail and yanking her off Spike. "Get your fucking hands off my
husband!" She flung Tara away as if she were nothing more than a rag doll.
Tara's eyes widened in shock and then darted to Spike.

Spike was mumbling something and still reaching his arms out. Listening
closer, Buffy could hear what he was saying "Buffy…Buffy baby, love you so
much…Buffy, where are you? Buffy. . . "

Buffy turned to Tara who was picking herself up off the floor. "What the
hell did you do to him?"

Tara glared daggers at her. "Wouldn't have had to do it if you didn't always
get in the way!"

"Get used to it. He's my mate and my husband," Buffy spat through
clenched teeth.

"He was supposed to be with me! He was meant for me, not for you!" Tara
screamed.

"Wh--"

"Buffy?"

Buffy looked down to see Spike gazing up at her and then at Tara, confused.
"Why are there two of you?"

"No, baby, just me. Just me, right here. Feel me. See? It's me?" She told
him, taking his hand and squeezing it. "Just hold on—" She let go to go after
Tara and found her gone.

"Buffy?"

Buffy nodded, tears rolling down her cheeks unchecked. What had she done
to him? And the image of him with her . . . she couldn't get it out of her
head.

A conversation popped in her mind unbidden:


"…I tried a glamour spell and it worked."
"Glamour spell?"
"You know when you change your appearance? I wanted to have black hair for a night just to see if my girlfriend liked it. Which, she did."


"So that's what she did to you," Buffy murmured. Looking at him, she did the only thing she could think of at that time to snap him out of it. She leaned over and bit him. "Mine," she growled at him. He let out a shout and she knew he must have orgasmed from it. He looked up at her, dazed.

"We're getting out of here," she told him softly and helped him to his feet.
He was groggy and fell against her, whimpering.

"It's okay, Spike. Mom's outside. We're going to mom's, okay?"

He nodded dumbly and allowed Buffy to lead him out of the apartment,
away from the stench, the magic, and the image of Tara and Spike together
on the bed.

Joyce's eyes were wide with fear and uncertainty. "Buffy?"

"Can we crash at your house mom?"

Joyce nodded and pulled out.

Buffy looked down at her husband as he gazed up at her. With a shaking
hand he attempted to touch her, but she stopped him. It hurt to do it, but
those hands had touched Tara. They'd . . . she couldn't even think it.
Instead, she swept a hand over his eyelids. "Sleep." She said soothingly and
watched as his eyelids fluttered and finally closed. "Sleep," she whispered
again and soon she felt the shift in his body as he took rest.

"Buffy, what happened?" Joyce asked finally. "I saw a young woman run
out of the apartment, was that Tara? Did she do something to Spike?"

"Yep, she did. And she's gonna pay."



Chapter 17

On the way to her mother's Buffy dialed Giles and told him he needed to get to her mothers right that second and to not let Tara in under any circumstances. He was surprisingly agreeable and very much concerned.

Clicking her phone shut, she glanced down at Spike and felt tears start to prick the corners of her eyes. She refused to give into them though. She needed to be stoic. Keep a stiff upper lip and not let what she saw and what was happening get to her. If she did, she'd be incapable of fighting.

"Do you think she'll go after Giles?" Joyce asked, worried.

"I don't think she will, but who knows. I mean, she knows the relationship
we ha—you know what it probably doesn't matter because she did just go
after my husband."

"What exactly happened in there Buffy? Is he hurt?"

"I don't know mom. He doesn't appear to be. Not physically anyway. She
had him under a spell."

"What kind of spell? What were they doing?"

"Mom!" Buffy shouted, exasperated. "I don't want to talk about it right
now okay? I need to think."

The silence, however, was deafening.

"Okay, so I'm going to talk now. Brainstorm, all right?"

Joyce nodded.

"I'm sorry mom, I didn't mean to yell at you. I'm just—I feel like I'm going
to crawl out of my skin right now."

"It's okay honey. You just need to take it easy. It's not good for the baby."

"Yeah, I know," Buffy murmured. It was at that moment that she felt the
movement in her womb. Her eyes widened and she snapped to attention.
"Mom," Buffy said urgently, her mouth half closed.

"Did you say something honey?"

"Ssshhh… mom."

"Which is it Buffy? Do you want me to talk or be quiet?" Joyce was getting
testy now.

"The baby just kicked," Buffy whispered.

Joyce's eyes widened and a sappy smile spread across her face. "She did?"

Buffy nodded. "She—or he—did." She placed her hand over her stomach
and felt it again, this time against her hand. She burst into tears. "My baby
kicked and it's Daddy is under some kind of spell and that bitch Tara tried
to have sex with my husband," Buffy wailed through her tears.

"She tried to WHAT?!?" Joyce exclaimed.

"Spike is right. I do run away because all I want to do right now is go back
to London when everything seemed so simple and easy!" "Honey, it wasn't
all that simple and easy."

"Yes it was," Buffy argued, wiping her tears away.

"I remember how much you missed him. You wouldn't be able to do that
again, no matter how much you want to. And especially not now. You have
a baby on the way and a husband to fight for. This is your family Buffy and
you have to stay and protect it."

"I know. I'm just so scared. I don't know what to do."

"You're doing it Buffy. You might not realize it, but you're doing it by
staying by Spike and not giving up. No matter how much you want to, you
haven't. I'm so proud of you honey."

"Thank you mommy," Buffy whimpered and wiped a few more tears away.
She sat back and took one of Spike's lifeless hands and placed it on her
stomach, willing the baby to kick again. He might not be conscious to feel it,
but she still wanted to have him part of the moment.



Giles met them at Joyce's and helped carry Spike in. He set the vampire
down in Buffy's old room turned guest room and met Buffy in the kitchen
where she sipped hot chocolate and was working through a bowl of ice
cream. Sure sign that Buffy was stressed. When Giles entered, she looked
up at him and gestured for him to sit. Joyce placed a mug of tea in front of
Giles and sat down beside him.

"What happened Buffy? What's going on? Are you all right?" Giles asked,
concern etched all over his face. He took off his glasses and started cleaning
them.

"I'm all right Giles. Thanks for the concern." She couldn't help the
bitterness in her voice.

"Of course I'm concerned, there's no reason for your sarcasm."

"Yeah. Right. Maybe you didn't realize it, but you've been under the spell
of Tara too."

His brow furrowed. "Spell? Tara put a spell on us?"

Buffy rolled her eyes. "I'm gonna take it from the top. Tell you what I've
observed, what I've learned and what happened tonight. Can you just not
say anything until I'm done?"

Giles nodded.

Buffy launched into her story from when Spike came home telling her
about Tara and how they'd been having problems when it came to the girl.
She explained her take on the night she met Tara, to the conversation she
had with Willow and what happened when she visited Spike in class. She
went on to tell him about her visit to Salem that day and what happened
when she arrived home.

Giles, she observed, grew paler with each word and was gripping the edge
of the table so tight, his knuckles were turning white. That wasn't when he
was cleaning his glasses every five seconds.

"So you believe that the scent that you keep smelling is a spell that Tara is
using so we all fall in line with her and turn against you," Giles said when
she was done.

"Yes. Willow said she found it hard to say no to her, she also she changed
when she became called. She went from loving girlfriend to Willow and
loving daughter to her parents, to basically denying her relationship with
Willow and not bothering to call her parents anymore. Giles, that smell wasn't there this afternoon. The things I saw in her room, the stories her
mother told me – there's nothing that points to ill will from Tara."

"It could be a ruse Buffy. It's like the family whose parents beat a child.
From the outside, they look normal, but inside is discord and dysfunction,"
Joyce offered.

"No. I feel it. I don't think that it's Tara herself. I think she's possessed by
something. Even in a dysfunctional family, you can get a sense that
something is off. I've felt it from day one with Tara. Something about her is
not right. And tonight, before she left she was ranting about how Spike was
meant to be hers. How I got in the way and he was meant for her and not
me."

"A woman obsessed and believing that the man she's ‘in love' with would
say such things—believe such things," Giles pointed out.

"True, but Giles, she had to use a glamour spell to get him to touch her."
Buffy closed her eyes as the image of it popped in her head. She shook it off.

"She knows we're mated and I almost think she wanted me to find them.
She wants all of you against me. If she were just after Spike because she
had some kind of sick obsession with him, she wouldn't care about you. But
she's weaved the spell over Willow, you and Spike. She sought us out. She
used Willow to get to us. All to turn against me."

"Don't you think she'd want to get us on her side so we'd be accepting of
Spike turning his back on you and the baby?" Giles asked.

"I can't explain how I know that there is something else than just wanting
Spike in this mess . . . but I just know it. There's a larger reason and I don't
know what it is or even how to start to figure it out."

The three sat in silence for a long while, pondering. A knock at the door
broke them out of their reverie. Buffy shot up. "I'll get it."

"Buffy, what if it's her?" Joyce asked, putting a hand on Buffy's arm to stop
her daughter.

"It's not. I would have smelled her." Stalking towards the door, she opened
it cautiously, ready to defend herself should she need to. What she saw
however caused her whole body to sag with relief and joy. What she saw
also made her tears start to flow yet again. She saw light at the end of the
tunnel, saw salvation.

"Hey kid."

"Whistler," she breathed and flung herself in the demons arms.



Thank you all so much for the reviews you've left...It's so great to see that you guys are excited about what's happening. I can't even tell you how fast my hands were flying across the keyboard b/c I've been so excited to share it with you! Thank you :)

Chapter 18

Holding onto the red headed demon tightly she peered over his shoulder. "You didn't bring another vampire for me did you?"

Whistler chuckled. "No, kid, I didn't. Rumor has it you've got your hands full with the one I sent you."

Buffy pulled back and patted her stomach. "You could say that."

Whistler grinned, his green eyes warmly meeting hers. "That was a surprise."

"You're telling me!"

"And where is the papa to be now?"

Buffy looked down. "He's uh, incapacitated right now."

"Buffy, who is it?" Joyce and Giles came up to them, hesitantly. When Joyce saw the short demon she hugged him immediately.
Whistler, Buffy could swear, was blushing under all the attention. When Joyce released him, Giles shook his hand, smiling warmly at him."

"What brings you by?" Giles questioned.

Whistler glanced over at Buffy. "Buffy brings me by."

"I didn't send for you," Buffy said, confused.

"Not in the technical sense, no," he looked at Giles and Joyce. "Uh, I don't know how to say this but—"

"You want to speak to me alone?" Buffy supplied for him.

He nodded, pulling his brown leather jacket tighter around him.

Buffy acquiesced immediately. She trusted Whistler wholly; he'd done
everything he could to help her when she had first discovered her power. He'd fought with her until he'd brought Spike to her. And though at times she wasn't sure if she should curse him for that or thank him, she felt she owed Whistler anything he asked of her.

"Should we go out, get a milk or something?" he asked, grinning.

"Sure, let me just grab my purse."

"I'll spot. Don't worry about it."

Buffy grinned and then turned to Giles and Joyce. "Will you check in on Spike for me?"

"Of course Buffy," Joyce agreed.

"If he wakes up tell him . . . tell him not to worry. I'm in good hands," she smiled up at Whistler and the pair left.



"So, you say I sent for you?" Buffy asked as she and Whistler sat down on a park bench, overlooking a duck pond and a huge Willow tree.

Whistler nodded. "How's that milk?"

"Good. Are you getting shy on me now?"

Whistler grinned sheepishly. "What I have to tell you Buffy . . . it's going to come as a surprise."

"Whistler, my life is so not anywhere near normal . . . I don't think you could surprise
any more than I have been since . . . well, since you brought Spike into my life."

"How is that by the way? Happy with him?"

Buffy looked down and tried to keep images of Tara and him in their heated embrace
from flitting across her mind. "Yeah."

"That didn't sound convincing."

"Well, it's been a rough night. Rough kind of month."

"Did it come to a head?"

Her head popped up and she looked at him curiously. "Why do I have a funny feeling
you know more than I think you know?"

He grinned, "because I do."

"Like?"

"Everything Buffy. Starting with your immortality."

Her eyes popped out. "My immortality? You know about that? How I'm becoming
immortal?"

He shook his head. "You're not becoming immortal Buffy. You already are. You were
born immortal."

If she hadn't been sitting on that park bench she would have dropped to the ground.
She looked up at the passerby's idly walking past and ducked her head. "What do you mean
I already am? I was born immortal?" she whispered.

Whistler nodded. "You're what's called a Light Bringer Buffy. Your essence isn't
actually human, it's just a ball of light."

"Don't say that. Don't say I'm a ‘what'. I'm Elizabeth Anne Summers. I'm human and I
have super powers –" She welled up in tears and Whistler grabbed her hands in his.

"You are Elizabeth Anne Summers, born to Joyce and Hank Summers. You are. But it
wasn't who you were before. You were born into a human family, but you are not human."

"Wh—what is a Light Bringer?"

Whistler smiled gently, "a being pure, innocent and full of love. You're from a plane
below the Angels."

She blinked, "I am?"

He nodded. "An Angel's job is to serve the Higher Powers –God, Goddess,
Buddha—whatever you want to call the Creator. In accordance with that an Angel's job is to
guide humans. To protect them. Where an Angel might not be able to attend some areas, a
Light Bringer comes in. You are the whisper in the ear of a man getting in his car not to take
Summer Street that day for an accident would happen and he could die. You are the instinct
of a woman meeting a man not to let him take her home for she would be raped. You help
humans in the little things; you help the Angels do their job, the ‘small' jobs that mean so
much to the Angels and the humans on this Earth."

"Are you--?"

"One of them? Part of you? Yes." He grinned, "You could say I'm your brother. You
protect the humans and I guide the lost souls to their purpose."

"Like Spike," she whispered.

"Like Spike," Whistler agreed.

"And my parents?"
"In your plane, there is no such thing as parents. You just are. You have been since the beginning of time."

"Why didn't I ever know?" She started waving her hand, trying to move the thought
from her mind. "I've been having dreams of – of light! Is that what I've been dreaming of?
My . . . home?"

"Yeah, kid. You've been dreaming of home."

"I keep hearing voices telling me that I'm here for a reason. That I have a job to do –
What is it?"

"To stop the Darkness."

The Darkness? What is it?"

"A being created at the beginning of time just like you. There has to be a balance of
all things. Where there is light, there is dark, where there is good—"

"There is evil. And this evil is—"

"You know where it is."

"Tara. The Slayer."

"Yes and no."

"Yes and no? Explain that one," though she was starting to put the pieces together.
However, her brain was beyond trying to place it all. She needed it spelt out this time.

"Tara is the Slayer, but she is not the evil one. Her body has been possessed by the
Darkness. Your job, Buffy Anne Summers, is to release that Darkness."

"I don't think I'm getting it all."

"You cold?"

"No, I'm fine," though she felt as if she weren't in her body any longer. Was surreal
the right word for what she felt?

"Good. I've got more to tell."


Hi guys! I'm so glad you guys are liking what I've done...it was hard keeping it a secret for so long!! But, I like surprising you :) On with the story...


Chapter 19

His eyes rolling open, Spike felt as if he'd been drugged. Heavily. He sniffed the air around him. Joyce. He was at Joyce's. What the sodding hell had happened to him and why was he here?

"Buffy!" he shouted. "Buffy!"

The door opened and Giles and Joyce came through. They looked worried.
This did not bode well. Spike sat up, his head slightly thudding. "Where's
Buffy?" he demanded. The urgency to see her was overwhelming. He felt . .
. discord. Something happened, he knew it, he just wasn't sure what.

"She's fine, Spike," Joyce said calmly.

He looked at her. "Where. Is. She?"

"She's with Whistler," Giles told him matter of factly. "How do you feel?"

"Whistler you say? What's that old man doing in these parts again?"

"He's come to see Buffy."

"For?"

"We're not sure. They left together. He wanted to see her alone."

That got Spike out of bed. "Let me get this straight. Whistler comes here
and asks to take Buffy –" he pointed to the window – "out there and you
just let her? Do you know all the baddies that are out there that would love
to just take a piece out of my wife?"

"She's in good hands Spike. Whistler will take care of her," Joyce told him
soothingly.

"She's my wife and my mate to take care of!" Spike shouted.

"Don't yell at her," Giles told him angrily. "You're not in any state to help
Buffy right now anyway. The girls been through a lot tonight and the last
thing she needs is you putting your demands on her."

"I don't put – what's happened? Is she all right?" Spike's body was tense,
poised for flight or flight. Or both.

Giles ran a hand through his hair. "You don't remember anything?" he
asked on a sigh.

"Why don't you tell me what I'm supposed to remember?" Spike
demanded.

"God dommit! Just tell me what you remember!" Giles shouted.

Spike sighed heavily and flipped back in his mind. "I was home today when
Buffy went out with Joyce. I was worried about her and I didn't want her to
go. I was doing some work to take my mind off it when she came back. She
uh –" he glanced at Joyce, "she was uh, kissing me."

"So you don't know what really happened," Giles muttered.

"Apparently not because I don't remember coming here."

Joyce and Giles exchanged looks.

"Out of all due respect, I think somebody better start telling me what's
going on before I crawl out of my skin," Spike said in deep, dark voice.

"Giles, you want to take this one? I'll get some blood. You're going to need
it." Joyce scurried out of the room and Giles faced Spike.

"You might want to sit down for this."

Spike sat back on the bed, fear gripping him. "How bad is it?"

"Bad."

"Is Buffy all right?"

"Physically, she's fine. The rest of her . . . I can't say."

"Tell me Rupert. Tell me and get it over with so I can figure out how to
make whatever it is up to my mate."





"The Darkness possessed Tara's body. Why?" Buffy asked, dazed.

"To mess with the Slayer line, throw it off balance and essentially create
hell on Earth. The Slayer line is something that was set at the beginning of
creation, just like you, me and the Darkness. It can't be altered or
changed."


"Obviously, it can be," Buffy pointed out dryly.

"Not the order. Not who is called. The plan was to possess a Slayer and
throw the line off so that the Slayer fought on the side of evil instead of
good, giving free reign to the demons."

"Is that why her Watcher never showed?"

"Right. Having a Watcher would only complicate matters, make it that
much harder to fight with the Council breathing down its neck. Tara needed

to be alone for the Darkness to strike, to make it easier for her to take her
vampire mate and make hell on Earth."

"A vampire mate? Who—Oh God. Tonight. She said . . . Oh god. She said
that Spike was meant for her. Is that true?" The desperation she felt was
apparent in her voice.

Whistler nodded apologetically. "Yes, Buffy. Spike was meant for her. He
was supposed to have been the soulless one mated to the Slayer and
together they were to have ruled."

"What happened?" she asked softly.

"By some twist of fate, he was given the soul instead of the one who was
intended to fight by your side."

"I was meant for another vampire?"

Whistler nodded.

"Who?"

"Does it matter?"

"I guess not. But Spike was given the soul instead? Why was I supposed to
be brought a vampire?"

"To have two creatures suited fully suited for each other. A vampire with a

soul on its way to redemption fighting on the side of good and living in the
dark."

"What happened to the other vampire? Was he ever given his soul?"

"Yes."

She stared at Whistler. "So then . . ."

"When you chose to come to Earth Buffy, it was decided that you would
have a souled vampire to fight with you. It was never decided that you

would have to love and mate with them." He looked at her sheepishly. "I
chose him for you. Out of the two, I knew Spike was better matched for
you. In ALL areas."

"So you played matchmaker."

"Right."

"And my baby?"

Whistler smiled broadly. "A miracle. That was never even thought of."

"And do you happen to know what my baby is?"

"A mix."


"You're saying my baby is mutt?"

Whistler laughed, "Something like that yeah. She—"

"So it IS a girl!"

"But you already knew that didn't you?"

Buffy grinned.

"She's part vampire, part light bringer and part human."

"And where I came from—are they pleased?"

"Yes Buffy. You were one of the favorites. It was a sad day when you left."


"You said something about choosing to leave?"

Whistler nodded. "You volunteered. When rumors got out about what the
Darkness was planning, you volunteered yourself to go."

"How is it that I have no memory of this place I came from?"

"It's easier that way. To remember where you came from and then to
come to Earth . . . it would have been too hard an adjustment. You chose
this way."

"I was rather decisive wasn't I?" Buffy said rhetorically.

Whistler chuckled. "Still are."

"How did the Darkness inhabit Tara's body?"


"At the point of her becoming the Slayer. An essence, residing on the ether containing
the spirit of the Slayer enters the body. The Darkness was able to enter at
the same time the spirit of the Slayer did."

Buffy jumped up. "So that's why Willow said she changed once she became
the Slayer! Why she sought Spike out, why she tried to get everyone
against me . . . "

"Exactly."

"And the smell I kept smelling whenever she was around was part of the
spell she was using to turn them against me. God, they thought I was
psychotic bitch!" Buffy exclaimed.

"Plus part of that was the scent of the Darkness. It was in you to be able to
detect it."

Buffy sat back down. "And here I had no idea what my purpose was
anymore. Turns out I had one all along. Was Tara the definite candidate?"

"We had a rough estimate. . . between now and the next few years."

Buffy narrowed her eyes as Whistlers muttered answer. "Define next few
years."

"Fifty."

"Good thing I'm immortal!"

Whistler grinned. "It's got its perks doesn't it?"

"Is it possible for me to die at all?"

"Yes."

"How?"

"Stake through the heart."

"Like Spike? How is that possible?"

Whistler grinned. "A Light Bringers whole shtick is love Buffy. The energy
and the essence of what you are is in the heart. It's what allowed you to
fight demons and vampires when you didn't have to. You could have chosen
to leave it to the Slayer or ignore it. But you didn't. You fought to protect
the humans you cared for at home. Once your essence is pierced from the
shell its residing in, you depart and return home."

"Thanks for referring to my body as a shell," Buffy told him dryly.

Whistler chuckled.

"How do I fight Tara?"

Whistler grinned devilishly. "I can't have all the answers now can I?"

Buffy narrowed her eyes. "You should! You've been able to tell me all this!"

"The rest is up to you in how you do it. It's why you're here, remember?"

"That's just it. I don't remember." She sighed heavily. "But I'm sure it'll be
fun to figure it out."

"You're not alone."

"No, I am Whistler. No one else can help me."

"They can. Now that you know the truth, you can use their help. They too
were part of the plan."

"Oh God, what is with beings from other planes! Can't they let anything
happen naturally?" Buffy exclaimed, throwing her arms in the air.

"Giles and Willow are part of an elite group of humans that help the heroes
fight the forces of evil."

Buffy looked up at him, "So that's why I was brought to Giles at such an
early age."

Whistler nodded.

"And why Willow came along? However, that doesn't make sense because
she's been helping Tara."

"Before Tara changed she and Willow were lovers. Just as we direct the
hands of fate and destiny from time to time, so does the Darkness. It did
bring Tara and Willow together so that Willow could do its bidding, but you
do need Willow. She is a formidable force on your side."

"I need to get her away from Tara," Buffy sighed heavily and put her face
in her hands. "She probably already got there."

"You'll be able to get her back if she has."

"You have extreme faith in my abilities don't you?"

Whistler grinned. "It's why you're here Buffy."

Buffy stood on a cleansing sigh. "And now I have to go home and see the
other half. I feel like I've lived a year in one night."

"I'll help."

"Took you long enough to get here," she teased him.

"Hey, had a couple missions on the way myself. I rushed when I heard
things were spiraling out of control."

"Better late than never I guess."

"How do you think Spike will handle all this?"

"I honestly don't know."


Chapter 20


Entering the apartment, the first thing Buffy noticed was the eerie silence. Fear coiled inside her. Had Tara gotten to them while she'd been gone?

"Hello!" she called.

Then, there was Spike, at a full gallop into the kitchen to greet her. Joyce
and Giles were right behind him.

"Buffy, we were starting to get worried, you've been gone for so long,"
Joyce said, wringing her hands together.

Buffy was trying to avoid the intense gaze Spike was directing at her. It
was making her nervous. She'd learned a lot and seen a lot, and was still
trying to process a lot. She felt as if she were going to collapse. And having
to face Spike and what happened. . .

She looked at him. And he crumbled. Sobbing, he came over to her and fell
to his knees, wrapping his arms around her. She stood, frozen, unsure of
what to do and unable to move.

"Spike," she started.

"Buffy, please luv, forgive me. I thought it was you. . . I didn't know. You
tried to tell me and I didn't listen. I failed you. Please luv, don't leave me.
Please…Please…" he was sobbing so hard she could barely understand the
words.

"Spike—"

"I'd never leave you or the baby. Never. I love you so much, more than
anything in this world," now he was leaving kisses on her belly. In a roomful
of people. She pushed him away, more forcefully than she had intended, but
she couldn't think of any other way to knock him out of the daze he was in
sobbing against her. His eyes widened as he knocked back on his elbows
and beheld her. His face wet and his eyes red. He'd been crying for a while
it seemed. His body was tense, waiting for what she was going to do and
say.

"Spike," she started again. "We've got a lot of talking to do." She looked up
at Giles and Joyce. "All of us."

"Will you be staying Whistler?" Joyce asked the demon behind her who
didn't seem to know what to do with himself either. She could feel the
uncertainty in him.

"Uh, yeah. I can always find a hotel though, Joyce. No need to worry about
me—"

"Nonsense. The couch pulls out. We'll set you up in there. Why don't you
uh, come with me. Giles, what are you doing?"

"I'm uh, I'm helping you," Giles said nervously and the three of them
practically ran from the room.

She didn't even have it in her to make a sarcastic remark. Spike stayed
where he had fallen, still staring up at her, waiting. Keeping her eyes on
him, Buffy sank to her knees before him and held out her hand. With a
shaking hand, he took it and brought himself back to his knees, facing her.
She let go of his hand and looked down, unable to meet his eyes.

"Buffy, talk to me. Please, tell me. . . "

Her head popped up. "What do you want me to tell you?"

"That you still love me. That you're not . . . you're not leaving me."

She shook her head, "I'm not leaving you."

"And you still love me?"

She nodded, "I still love you,"she whispered.

"Except you can't look at me."

She stood then. "Spike I'm not going to lie to you. What I walked in on
wasn't the easiest sight to behold," she drew a shaky breath, giving in to
her own tears. "And I know that it wasn't you. That she put a spell on you
and her and that you thought it was me but I can't lie that every time I
close my eyes, I see you with her."

Tears leaked from his eyes silently.

"Please get up; I can't stand to see you like that on your knees."

Spike stood, facing her. "Tell me what I can do to make it better," he
whispered.

"Can you trust me? Have faith in me?"

He nodded. "Anything."

"There's a lot I need to tell you."

"You look so tired baby. Let me take care of you. How about a bath? A
bath, you need a bath. Let me, please?"

"Spike just stop with the over compensating. You know I don't do well with
smothering."

He took a full step back. "You're right."

Suddenly the distance she thought she needed was too much. She burst
into tears. "But I really need you to hold me right now."

In a second, she was in his arms and he was holding on to her as tight as he
could without hurting her. He was murmuring words of love in her ear as
he held onto her and she clutched at him, crying. She started to feel the
tension of the day start to release through her tears. It felt like the whole
day had been leading up to the moment where she could release the
tension, the worry and the fear of what was going to happen to them.
Everything she'd learned tonight was all coming out in her tears, a whole
new set of worries were taking place over the ones that were dissipating.

"I love you Buffy. I always have and I always will," Spike whispered as he
nuzzled her cheek and started dropping kisses along her jawline. He cupped
her face in his hand and gazed at her tenderly, adoringly. "You're mine
baby. You always have been. Made for me, you were."

She couldn't help the laugh, the nervous ironic laugh that escaped at that.
"Oh, you don't even know the half of it."

He looked at her in question and she shook her head. "Soon. I want to tell
you everything—"

"Is that why Whistler is here? He had something to tell you?"

"Yes. He did. But, I'm about to drop. Pregnant women can only stand so
much. Even Light Bri—Even Slayer-like pregnant women like me."

"Bath then, yeah?"

She nodded, "but maybe not with—"

"I'll draw it for you. Help you get ready."

She nodded. "Okay."

Wrapping his arms around her and bringing her into his side, he walked
with her to the bathroom, seeming unwilling to lose any contact with her.
Even bothering her mother for some night clothes, Spike still stayed by her
side.

Spike helped her undress, even though she didn't need him to do it. It
made him feel better, she could tell. It was if he was reassuring himself that
she was there as he uncovered her body. She could see the bulge in his
jeans from the act but knew it was just his body reacting to hers and that
he wouldn't try anything. And as the last article of clothing was discarded
and she stood naked before him, steam seeping from the running water and
the fragrance of the bath being lifted and curling around them, Spike stood
in reverence of her. He placed a hand on her belly and then leaned in and
kissed it tenderly. "Love you nibblet," he whispered.

"Girl."

He looked up, eyes wide. "Girl?"

She nodded.

"How do you—"

"Like I said, lots of things."

"Buffy, just tell me pet. Tell me that you're not going anywhere."

"Spike I already told you—"

"No, I mean. . . you're not dying are you?" he looked positively terrified at
the idea.

"No," she shook her head, a wry smile on her lips. "I'm going to be around
for a long time."

"So you're healthy, the baby is healthy and you're not turning into a
demon?"


"No."

"Buffy, I'm dying to know."

"I know. I just . . . I need it to settle for right now. My brain needs to shut
off."

"Okay, baby. Come on, in with you." Taking her hand he helped her into
the tub. He knelt by her and dunked the washcloth in the tub. Buffy
watched him as he lifted the wash cloth and ran it up her legs.

"Just . . . just come in with me," she finally blurted out.

"What about--?" he nodded toward the door.

"I don't care anymore. Please?"

His clothes were off in record time and he slipped in behind her, pulling her
against his chest. He held her close and between soft words and silence,
they rested and bathed. When they were done, they dried off and made
their way to the bedroom they'd be sharing. Slipping under the covers,
Buffy's limbs felt like weights. She watched as Spike slid in next to her,
naked, and immediately brought her into the circle of his arms.

"You're my girl?" he asked tentatively, hopefully.

"Yes, Spike. I'm still your girl."

"And you'll tell me everything tomorrow?"

Her eyelids had weights on them. "Everything."

"And you're healthy?"

"Mmmm…"

"I love you Buffy."

"I love you too."

She never heard Spike cry one more time from the fear he'd held since
he'd learned of what he'd done. In his arms he held his world: Buffy and his
baby. He'd once condemned Buffy for running away from her problems—
namely her problems with him. Now he felt from her that she was fighting
for them and had been all this time. She was his mate in every sense of the
word and he was going to make it up to her, going to make up the fact that
he'd failed her.
Chapter 21

Buffy opened her eyes reluctantly. She didn't want to face the day or its responsibilities. She just wanted to shut it out for a little while longer. Her dreams had been full of bouncing ball of lights and whispers of congratulations. She took that as a good sign. However, she wasn't sure what the congratulations was for. The fact that she knew the truth or that she was ultimately going to defeat Tara?

"I know you're awake," Spike rumbled groggily next to her.

She popped an eye open. "I don't want to get up."

He slid in closer to her and wrapped his arms around her. "Then don't.
Stay and rest."

"I can't," she sighed and wriggled free, sitting up against the headboard. A
look of hurt passed over his face that she had moved and he sat up next to
her.

"Did you sleep well?" he asked softly.

"Yeah," she said absently and now slid off the bed. How was she going to
tell them everything? Should she and Whistler split up and she get Spike
while Whistler got her mom and Giles. Her mom was going to take it hard.
She was still trying to come to terms to the fact that while she was her
mothers daughter, in a way she wasn't. And Spike. . . there was no telling
how he was going to take it. She looked over to him and found him watching
her, sadly.

"What?" she asked.

He shook his head. "Nothing."

"No, what? It's something by the way you're looking at me. So tell what it
is."

He frowned, "You left my arms."

Her heart just about melted at that. She gave him a weak smile. "I'm sorry
baby. I've got a lot on my mind. Just trying to figure things out."

He crawled out of bed and rested his hands on her waist. "Care to share
now?"

"That's what I was trying to figure out," she chuckled nervously. "How to
share."

His grip on her hips tightened. "This is big innit Buffy?"

"Yeah," she nodded.

"Am I going to not like it?"

"I'm not sure. I think some parts you might like."

"Tell me before I go out of my mind wondering what it could be," he
pressured, jostling her a bit.

"No, I think it might be best if I tell you all at once. It affects all of us."

He frowned again. "Okay."

"Don't worry. I'll tell you everything and then . . . then comes the fun part."

"And that is?"

She sighed heavily. "Saving the day. Isn't that what it always comes down
to."

"You're not going into battle."

"I don't have a choice this time."



It was time to tell all. Spike, she could tell, was nearly crawling out of his
skin to find out. He was especially worried by her cryptic words and the
presence of Whistler only added to that. He was, quite literally, by her side
all morning. Giles and Joyce were quiet, which meant they were silently
contemplating what was happening.

"Ready kid?" Whistler asked after breakfast.

She nodded. "Ready as I'll ever be."

"Shall I start?"

Letting out the air between her teeth, she shook her head. "I think I
should."

"Would someone please bloody tell me what the hell is going on?" Spike
demanded, frustrated.

Buffy reached across the table and squeezed his hand. "Remember how I
thought I was becoming immortal?"

Spike and Giles nodded; Joyce paled.

"Well, as it turns out, I was born immortal."

It was like waiting for a hand grenade to go off. The blank stares would
eventually give way to –

"What?!" Spike roared, standing up.

"Bloody hell!" Surprisingly that was Giles.

"Oh my." Joyce.

"Guys, we've got a lot to get through. Do you think you could listen and
hold all comments to the end so I can get through this?" Buffy asked,
mostly directing that question to Spike.

He sat back down and nodded quickly, taking her hands in his and kissing
them. Giles and Joyce fell silent and waited.

"I'm what they call a Light Bringer and my job is to . . . " she relayed the
whole story that Whistler had told her, and the demon jumped in and
helped a few times. Spike's hands were gripping hers tightly and she could
see a myriad of emotions playing in his eyes.

"You're not really my daughter?" Joyce whispered tearfully.

"Mom, I am. I chose you. I lived inside you and you gave birth to me. We
always knew there had to be some reason for why I had all these powers.
Now we know," Buffy explained, trying to assuage her mother's
discomfort—as well as hers.

"How do you feel?" Giles asked curiously.

Buffy grinned slightly. "The same Giles. Except now I know a whole lot
more about myself and where I came from and what I am."

"You're not a ‘what'. You're Buffy. My mate, my wife and the mother of my
child," Spike half growled.

"Yes, Spike, I am," Buffy reassured him.

"You're not leaving once this mission is over are you?" he demanded. "Is
she?" he now demanded of Whistler.

"No, honey, I'm not going anywhere. Not unless I'm killed."

Spike was nearly crushing her hand now.

"Spike, honey, need the hands kay?"

He loosened his grip.

"How do you die?" Spike asked.

She smirked. "Stake through the heart."

His eyes widened. "Like me?"

She nodded. "My essence is in my heart. That gets released, I go."

He shook his head, eyes glittering with tears. "You don't leave me. Ever.
You go, I go."

"Don't say that, Spike. If anything happened to me, you'd need to stay and
take care of our child."

His eyes closed and tears fell as he took in an unnecessary and shaky
breath.

"Spike, nothings really changed."

He looked at her incredulously. "How can you say that?"

"Okay, you're right a lots changed, but like you said, I'm still Buffy. The
Buffy that fought demons and vampires. The Buffy that still risked her life
before. The Buffy that still needed your help and protection. It's still me,
there's just another added part to me. And hey, our child? Not prophesized.
Our baby is a miracle. Literally."

"Before I could keep you safe. You weren't supposed to fight. You were
supposed to be . . . to be. . ."

"Barefoot and pregnant?" she raised an eyebrow.

"Yes," he said guiltily.

"The Darkness is my fight now. Course, it's all of ours, but mainly mine. It's
my mission, it's the reason I'm here."

"And me. You're here for me," Spike said, his voice cracking with emotion.

"I always told you that I wanted us to be together because it was our
choice. Now we know it was," Buffy said, keeping her voice light though her
eyes were filling up with tears.

"You were meant for someone else," Spike choked out.

"That's one way of looking at it. Or, you can look at it as the one that I
could only fall in love with was you."

Spike got up and sat next to her, taking her in his arms. "I love you so
much," he murmured into her neck. "I can't ever lose you."

"And you won't."

"Promise me."

"I promise."

"I think we should give them some time to themselves," she heard
Whistler say to Giles and Joyce. "Let's say we get out of here for a bit? I'd
be happy to answer any questions."

Buffy focused all her attention on Spike, wrapping her arms around him.
"Why the tears? It is hard to swallow, but it's really good. It's still sinking
in, but it's good isn't it?"

Spike cupped her face in his hands. "It's just a shock. Its relief that you're
not dying, that you're safe and that our baby is okay. Its just –after
everything that's happened—what if she would have succeeded? What if I
had lost you? What if she had killed you? What if she would have won and I
would have had to spend the rest of my existence without you?"

"Ssshh…Don't think like that. You'll drive yourself crazy." She smiled then,
trying to lighten the mood. "I'm a powerful being Spike, I would have
figured it out eventually. I work for angels!"

Spike smiled then, "Always knew you were my angel."

"I'll try not to groan at how clichéd that was," she laughed.

He kissed her softly, then passionately. "Need you. Now. Need to be inside
you, feel you all around me," he whispered frantically.

Buffy nodded, her need for him overcoming her and making her frantic as
well.

Standing up, he swept her up in his arms and carried her into the bedroom,
placing her on the bed.

"No foreplay," she whispered and yanked his shirt over his head. "Just
inside me, please."

He captured her lips in his and tugged on her pants, nearly tearing them
off and tossing them away. Stepping away, he dropped his pants and kicked
them aside. She knelt before him on the bed and pushed him down so that
he lay on his back. Straddling him, she sank onto him and in unison they let
out a moan of mutual satisfaction.

He met her thrust for thrust, his movements becoming more frantic as
their coupling continued. He sat up and lifted her shirt off her body,
nuzzling her breasts. Wrapping her arms around him, she felt her orgasm
coming.

Needing even more of him, she bent her head and buried her face in his
neck and bit down. "Mine!" she nearly shouted and then felt his fangs
pierce her skin as he returned the claim. They came together, the force of
their mutual orgasm nearly causing them to black out. They rolled
themselves to spoon position, Buffy's back to his front. They murmured to
each other in only words they could understand, stroking each others skin
and reaffirming to each other that they were well and together.





Chapter 22


Spike propped his head on his hand and watched Buffy sleep. He gazed down at her, stroking her arm as she slumbered, taking her in. He was still trying to wrap his mind around all that she'd told him. His eyes traveled to the bite marks on her neck, assuring himself by the sight that she was still his. He was going to have to thank Whistler when he saw the demon again. Spike couldn't even wrap his mind around the idea of never having entered her life. What the hell would he have done with himself? Would he had ever found someone to love like he did her? He shook his head. The answer was no. She touched places in him that he was sure no other could touch. It was apparent to him from the start that she'd have him wrapped around her little finger in no time. Granted it took longer to convince her, but stubborn was her middle name. He'd known though, and that's why he'd fought for her so hard. And what was more, he knew she knew.

And now she was a Light Bringer, a descendant of Angels. Could she amaze him even more? He was so proud of her for how she was taking it. All in stride. She was the one who'd just found out she wasn't exactly human and she'd ended up comforting him. After what he'd done, he didn't expect anything from her.

"What's wrong?"

He hadn't noticed he'd been crying until she reached up and brushed his
tears away, studying him. "I was just thinking about . . .about what I did."

She shook her head. "Don't. It was a spell. I know you wouldn't ever cheat
on me like that baby."

"Never," he promised. "You're the only one for me. Always have been."

"What about Dru?" and her nose wrinkled at the thought.

He shook his head. "Buffy, kitten, if I had seen you while I was with Dru . . .
I'd still be here."

She smiled and caressed the side of his face.

"Unless of course you staked me first," he chuckled nervously.

"I don't think I would have. Something tells me that when you put your
mind to something, you inevitably get it."

He snorted. "Can't imagine where you got that idea from pet."

She rubbed her belly. "Neither can I," she giggled.

"I love that sound," he told her fondly.

"What sound?"

"You. Laughing, giggling. Haven't heard that in a long time."

She sighed heavily. "I know. I suppose that's what happens when the shit
hits the fan."

He chuckled and rested his head next to hers, biting gently on her earlobe.
He grinned when she shivered.

"Are you sad that it wasn't fated for us?" she asked gently.

"In a way yes. I like the idea that you were meant for just me."

"Well, the way I see it, that's how it really is. I mean, sure there was no
prophecy that said we HAD to be together, but according to Whistler, it was
never said that I had to love the vampire I was to be matched up with.
Only that he was my match when it came to fighting The Darkness. Our
hearts decreed that you and I were meant for each other." She rolled to her
side, facing him. "Spike, before when we were ‘just friends', I felt you with
me all the time. You were always more, in here," she placed her hand over
her heart, "I just didn't realize what it meant. I was too busy wanting to fall
in love that I think I was really in love with the idea of it. I didn't see what
was right in front of me. As clichéd as that sounds, its true. We were made
for each other because no one else can complete me the way you do. It's
like you finish me. You pick up where I left off and vice versa. And I mean,
you got your soul… you weren't supposed to get it. You were supposed to
be soulless and ruling the world with The Darkness. Someone up there,
aside from Whistler maybe, knew that not only were WE meant for more,
but YOU were. You were meant to be a hero, a champion, a savior."

His eyes were filled with tears.

She smiled. "You're blubbering like a girl," she teased.

"I'll show you girl," he growled and grabbed her against him, mindful of her
swollen stomach, and raised her leg over his hip. Teasing her entrance with
the tip of his cock, Buffy moaned at the sensation. The familiar feeling of
longing and need building inside her. Moving just right, she took him in, this
time surprising him.

They moved together, fluidly and yet languidly, building up the pleasure.
Murmuring to one another their love, Buffy held onto him, feeling her love
for him crash over her like a tidal wave. Without him by her side, she
wasn't sure she could have done any of it without giving up out of sheer
exhaustion and strain. When she fought, she fought for him, for them. Her
heart felt near bursting with the love she felt for him and she wondered if
there would ever be words enough to tell him.

"Buffy!" he exclaimed, halting his movements.

She blinked at him.

"Look!" he exclaimed and nodded his head to what little space they had
between them. What she saw made her eyes widen. From her heart and
extending out to meet Spike, appearing to spread over him was a brilliant
golden light with what looked like silver speckles in it. In a flash it hit her.

"I know how to get The Darkness out of Tara's body," she gasped.

Chapter 23

Spike stopped his movements inside her, unsure of what to do.

"No, keep going!" she exclaimed, "don't stop."

He started to thrust again, her sudden stopping had stopped him cold, but as soon as he started to move and her walls started to clench around him, he felt that his orgasm was approaching, and if
he knew anything about his girl, and he did, hers was fast approaching as
well. He was fixated on the light that coiled out from her breastbone and
was spreading over him, encompassing him. It warmed him, caressed him
and caused the need to thrust faster urgent within him. His own dead heart
felt as if it would start beating again.

"Buffy," he gasped. "What is it doing?"

"It's my love," she whispered and then moved, moving her leg up more on
his waist, causing her to open even more for him. "I was thinking—oh
God—of you and how I love you and it came out of me."

"Christ Buffy!" Reaching frantically between them, he flicked her clit and in
seconds her walls were fluttering and she exploded. He let himself go and
still felt that brilliant light cover him. She held onto him tightly, her nails
digging into his shoulders, her breathing ragged.

"Buffy, are you all right? Are you in pain?"

She looked up at him with tears in her eyes. "No, it feels so good. You and
me, we created this."

"You created it. You're the Light Bearer remember?" he grinned softly at
her.

"No, you did too. I was thinking of YOU. Without you I wouldn't have been
able to do it."

Leaning in, he kissed her gently. "I feel warm," he whispered against her
lips.

"You do. Does it hurt at all?"


"No. I feel . . . I feel like I'm in a warm cocoon and you're all around me."

"I think I really like what I am," she said tearfully.

Spike smiled, "I do too. But then, I've always been fond of you."

She smiled sappily and kissed him. "This is how to fight the Darkness."

Spike's brow furrowed. "By loving it?"

"In a manner of speaking. By encompassing it with this light."

"That means you'd have to get it to stay still first. It's going to be all over

you the minute you show your face."

"I'm thinking I could encompass at least a room. We'd need the gang. . . "

"The gang?"

"You, Giles and Willow."


"Ah, the other chosen ones."

"Yep. Which means we have to get to Willow before she's taken completely
under."

"Baby, we should have a plan first before we go storming in there."

She pulled her head back. "Since when do you come up with plans? I
thought you were all action guy."

"When it comes to my family, I'm all about the plans."

"You won't lose us."

"You know how to defeat it now. Don't you think it knows how to defeat
you?"

"I guess I never really thought about that part."

"How could you not?"

"I didn't think I was going to lose."



"I think at this point Buffy, Willow might be a moot point," Giles pointed
out later on as they all congregated in the living room. Buffy sat with Spike
at her side, his arm around her. Joyce sat across the room, perched on her
rocking chair, and Giles and Whistler paced.

"You're probably right," Buffy sighed. "Tara's more than likely gotten to
her. Willow's a powerful witch, of course The Darkness is going to want to
use her. Especially now since I foiled its plan to get Spike and turn
everyone against me."

"Now it'll just be out to destroy you," Whistler said matter of factly.

"Hey!" Spike burst out warningly. "My mate and my wife, not to mention
the mother of my baby you're talking about here."

"It's okay, baby," Buffy patted his knee. "He's, unfortunately, right. The
Darkness will now be out to get me with even more a vengeance than
before. It has to know I've gotten to you all, so it's probably going to be
after all of us now." Her head jerked to a fearful Joyce. "Shit," she
muttered. "I really need to start thinking things through."

"You had to pull resources Buffy. You did what you could at the time.
Besides, at least here we're united. If anything, it gives us the added
advantage," Giles pointed out.

"Buffy, you said that you were able to encompass Spike while hugging
right?" Joyce brought up.

Buffy fought the blush that was coming on at that lie. It didn't help when
Spike smirked. She elbowed him gently. "Yeah, what are you thinking
mom?"

"So, if you're thinking that by encompassing The Darkness with your light,
which is full of love, it will force The Darkness out of Tara's body?"

"Right."

"Do you think if it can do that, then perhaps it can be used to protect as
well?"

Buffy bolted up. "Mom! You're genius!"

"Like a force field?" Giles asked.

Whistler nudged him. "Give her a minute would you? The girls on to
something."

"All right, all this time The Darkness has used its magic to control you all.
It turned you against me and made you side with Tara instead. Well, if I
my light can reach out and ‘touch' others, that is, if it can encompass others
as The Darkness' mojo encompassed all of you, then if I work my little light
magic, you guys will then be immune to what she'll be dishing out. And if I
know The Darkness, which I don't—" she broke off and laughed at that "—
then it'll be pulling out the heavy artillery. Most definitely with Willow

there. If I can cover all of you at least, then a room."

"Do you think Tara will want to come to you? If you can sense her
Darkness, won't she be able to sense your light?" Spike pointed out.

Buffy looked over at Whistler who nodded. "Well, I don't think that The

Darkness is going to just walk away with its tail between its legs either. It's
probably itching to throw down with me as much as I'm itching to throw

down with it. It'll come after me."

Spike grabbed her hand, tugging on her and bringing her back down to
him. "I don't like this at all," he told her.

"Neither do I. But it's the only way."


"I believe my house should be the place in which we lure it in," Giles
offered. "Too much to explain if it were here. If we have to confine it, then
it should be there. We can use the magic room downstairs and set up our
supplies there."

"I'm thinking tons of Rose Quartz for this one," Buffy suggested.


"Rose Quartz?" Joyce questioned.

"The love stone," Spike explained.

Joyce nodded. "Will I be part of this?"

"No mom, I don't want you to get stuck in the crossfire."

"However," Spike started. "She also shouldn't be left here alone. If Tara
gets wind at all that she's alone, she'll go for the jugular, Buffy."


"Right. Good point. Then she can stay in Giles' bedroom."

Giles turned beat red and Joyce looked away, blushing.

"At the rate they're going, it'll probably be the only way she'll actually get
to see it," Spike muttered, but loud enough so that everyone heard. Giles
started furiously cleaning his glasses and Joyce bolted up to get snacks.

"Spike!" Buffy swatted him. "That's still my MOTHER."

Spike chuckled.

"So your plan is to get Tara and Willow to the house and for you to work
your Light?" Whistler asked.

"Yes. Not the most elaborate plan, but I believe it's the only way. If I can
just get Tara in there long enough to surround her and drive The Darkness

out of her body, we'll be fine."

"We better get going then, make sure we have back up just in case," Giles
put in, putting his glasses back on.

"Right," Buffy nodded, suddenly feeling nervous.

"Ready to practice your magick, sister?" Whistler asked, grinning.

"I think so bro."

"You think so?"

She smiled. "I know so."



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