Second Youth
by Ariel Dawn

Disclaimer: Joss, man, there are issues that need to resolved, you just left us hanging...I had to do something!

Author’s note: This was a plot bunny that just wouldn’t go away and as I seem to be suffering from writer’s block on my fic, The Rest of our lives, I plugged this out in a couple of hours last night. Few changes to note concerning this fic: all is happy in Willow and Tara land, they never had the fight about too many spells, and thus no resulting fallout; and Xander and Tara are conspicuously absent, don’t know why, they just didn’t make an appearance.

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Willow scanned the pages for the perfect spell. She had to do something about Buffy’s memories of Heaven. She couldn’t let her friend feel so horrible all the time. Flipping the page, her eyes rested on a spell she had been tempted to do a couple of years ago when she had been trying to get over feeling like crap because Oz left. At the time she had thought it way to advanced for her, and had decided to go with the ‘My Will be Done’ spell instead. That had turned out to be a marvellous success.

But she was a better witch now, Amy the rat aside, most of her spells went right nowadays. Willow looked over the ingredients for the spell and jotted down the ones that she didn’t have at the house.

A quick trip to the magic shop, where Willow had embraced Capitalism and actually paid for the stuff (having just been endowed with parental money) and Willow was ready. Of course she waited until darkness, when Buffy was safely tucked away in her bed.
__________________________________________
Buffy opened her eyes and looked around her room. This wasn’t the room she had been in when she closed her eyes. Buffy shut her eyes, hoping to be transported back to where she had been. Unfortunately when she opened her eyes there she was, still in her bedroom, in Sunnydale, in a house that had been swallowed into the hellmouth some hundred years previously.

“What the hell?” said Buffy.

Buffy gasped when she heard her voice, it wasn’t scratchy and harsh, it sounded, like, like she was twenty years old again. Buffy attempted to sit up, attempted because she had been bed ridden for a month, and she really didn’t think she would be able to. She was surprised when her body started to actually respond, willingly, to her brains commands. Buffy sat up and looked at the room. It looked just as it did, before Willow moved in to it after she came back from the Coven in England after Tara’s death. Buffy shook her head in confusion. This was way too wiggy.

Until she saw her hands. Buffy raised her right, then left hand taking in the sight of her non-wrinkled hands. Buffy flung back the covers of her bed and rushed to the mirror. Looking back at her was twenty year old Buffy, not a wrinkle, not a line, not a grey hair to be seen. Buffy smiled. She still had her own teeth!

Buffy didn’t know what was going on...but she loved it. Buffy started dancing in the middle of her room.
__________________________________________
Buffy bounded down stairs full of energy to see Willow making pancakes.

“Willow!” cried a happy Buffy, rushing to give her friend a hug.

“Good morning Buffy!” said Willow fending off the hug with the spatula. “Are you ok?”

“Are you kidding? I’m fabulous! I feel so young! And look at you with the being alive!”

“Of course I’m alive Buffy. I’m glad you are all happy Buffy though.” Willow smiled to herself, proud that her spell had worked. “Pancakes?”

“Sure! Lovin’ the Willow cakes. Isn’t it just a beautiful day today?”

Willow placed a plate of pancakes in front of Buffy along with the butter and syrup, which Buffy attacked.

“I’m glad to see you got your appetite back,” observed Willow.

“Oh, it totally helps that I have my own teeth again.”

“Huh?”

Buffy heard someone come down the stairs and turned to see who it was with her mouth full of pancake. Dawn walked into the room, rubbing her eyes.

“Morning,” she yawned.

Buffy quickly swallowed. “Dawnie!” Buffy launched herself at her sister and enveloped her in a hug.

“Whoa, what happened to sad depressed Buffy?” asked Dawn.

“I don’t know Dawn,” said Willow all innocent like, “I guess she just woke up like this.”

Buffy pulled back from her hug with Dawn, and gave her a critical look. “You look fourteen.”

“Hey! I’m fifteen I’ll have you know!” Dawn protested. “Willow do I really look fourteen?”

“I would have said that you were edging on the brink of at least sixteen,” said Willow with a smiled, “A mature sixteen.”

Dawn smiled. Buffy watched the exchange with confusion.

“I don’t get it...”

“What don’t you get Buffy?” asked Dawn.

“You’re fifteen.”

“I’m fifteen what’s not!to get? Did you hit your head on a tombstone on patrol?”

“Patrol? I haven’t patrolled in years,” said Buffy still confused.

“You patrolled last night Buffy, after you defeated Sweet, the muscial demon? He wanted to make me his bride?”

Buffy’s eyes went wide. “Oh. My. God,” she sputtered.

“Buffy, what’s wrong?” asked Willow nervously.

“What...What year is this?” Buffy asked in a whisper.

“2001,” said Dawn, “Buffy what’s going on, you are freaking me out.”

“2001....2001...I remember, I died in 2001, but Willow brought me back, and then ...You say Sweet the musical demon?”

“Yes, Buffy. What year did you think it was?” asked Willow, half joking, half not.

“2103”
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Buffy looked around the Magic Box, it was still as she remembered it before Willow went black eyed and vein-y. Buffy wandered the room as the others discussed the situation. The others being Willow, Giles and Anya. Both of which had received huge hugs from the Slayer. Buffy wasn’t sure what was going on, but she was sure that Giles would find out what. She didn’t want to go back to her own time, mind you. Come on? Who wouldn’t want to relive their youth? And this time she would do it all right.

“So you think you’ve been thrown back in time, Buffy?” asked Giles, cleaning his glasses.

Buffy watched fondly. She missed that, the cleaning of the glasses. She missed Giles in general.

“Yep, looks like I’m all here in my old body. Or should I say newer body, no scratchy voice, no wrinklies, and look, I’ve got my own teeth!”

Buffy had missed her teeth, after all she’d been using some form of denture since she caught a troll hammer in the mouth when she was thirty.

“Yes...uh, remarkable as your lack of dentures is, Buffy, we should discover exactly what caused you to leap a hundred and two years into the past.”

“In the mean time, you can regale us with tales of ourselves from the future,” said Anya.

“I hardly think that would be wise or useful in anyway Anya.”

Anya skulked back to her counter.

“Now what is important here is what were the circumstances before you...came into this time frame. Buffy can you recall what you were doing?” asked Giles.

“I was lying in bed, in a hospital, a hospital bed.”

“Why were you in a hospital?” asked Anya.

“I didn’t say I was in a hospital, I was in a hospital bed. I was at the watcher’s council.”

“Good...good, this is useful. Why were you there?”

“Think about it Giles, I’m a hundred and twenty two, what do you think I was doing? I don’t really think a hundred and twenty two year old is up for jumping on the bed. I‘m a decrepit old granny Giles, except with the granny part.”

“You were sleeping?”

“The big sleep.”

“Pardon?”

“I was dying Giles.”

“Oh dear lord...”

“Oh yeah, and may I say not fun. I remember feeling really weak, and not being able to breathe properly, my eyes were getting really heavy, then when I opened them, I was back in Sunnydale, with my teeth!” Buffy spun a little in the middle of the room, happy to be alive. “There’s just so much that I want to do! Go to the beach and show off my fabu body, have sex, eat lots and lots of junk food, go shopping for cool clothes, go to the bronze, visit my mom’s grave, get drunk, patrol....”

“I’m sure you’ll have time to do all that before I find out how to send you back...”

“Back? Were you not listening when I said I was dying? Why would I want to go back? To a dead body?”

“Of course you are right...but what about our Buffy?”

“Giles, think about this for a moment, we just went through the song and dance in which I sang about how I was in heaven right? Well your Buffy? She’s probably back there, knowing myself like I do...I’m happy, let go. And while you are letting go, I’m going shopping.”

“How are you going to go shopping Buffy? You don’t have any money here?” asked Anya.

“Oh I have account numbers in my head, ones I know are full of dough...god bless vampires who save...”
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Buffy returned from her shopping excursion laden with bags. Setting them down on the floor of the training room at the magic box, Buffy had decided the next thing she was going to do would be to test out her old body to see what it could do.

Buffy changed into some work out clothes that she knew she had stashed in the room and wrapped her hands. Buffy stared intently at the heavy bag for a few moments and the struck out with a power she had not seen for nearly seven decades.

“I think you killed it, pet,” came a voice from the basement entrance. Buffy diverted her eyes from the pile of what once had been her heavy bag to the direction of the voice. It was his voice.

“Spike...” she whispered, her voice full of emotion.

“Ya, it’s me, did the bag do something wrong?” he joked.

Buffy could feel her eyes water. She raised a wrapped hand to her mouth, hiding her trembling lip.

“Slayer?” Spike held a concerned look on his face and approached her slowly.

Finally, she couldn’t hold it anymore, she rushed at him, open arms, and hugged him tightly.

“Oh my god, Spike, I’ve missed you so much. I love you, you didn’t believe me, but I love you I really do!” she sobbed.

Spike stood shocked at the words coming from her mouth. The slayer loved him? When did that happen? Not that he was complaining, he had imagined this moment for ages. His heart rejoiced, but his mind told him that this was not right, something was wrong with his slayer.

“Slayer? Buffy? Why are you acting this way? You saw me yesterday pet,” he said after a considerable pause.

Buffy sniffed her tears back and wiped her eyes. The clasped his shoulders, jumped and wrapped her legs around his waist. Buffy wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her lips to his.

“Slayer?...Buffy?” gasped Spike between kisses.

“Buffy, I might have found the spell that would cause this...oh dear lord” said Giles as he came into the room.

Buffy hopped down from where she had situated herself and smiled. “I found Spike.”

“What the bloody hell is going on here watcher?” asked Spike.

Buffy clasped Spike’s hand and intertwined her fingers with his. Spike looked down at their interlocking fingers confused. She had been acting all lovey dovey and now in front of the watcher too. It was like they were under that engagement spell of red’s again.

“What did the witch do?” asked Spike, rage starting to become apparent in his voice.

“Dear lord, do you believe that Willow may have done this?” asked Giles.

“I don’t care who did it, Buffy like,” said the slayer with a smile on her face.

“Watcher...” growled Spike.

“It appears that Buffy, our Buffy and this Buffy have switched places, this Buffy, is from the future,” explained Giles.

“A future where the slayer...”

“Loves you, yes,” supplied Buffy. “I know it’s hard to believe, considering that last night, as you remember it, I think I kissed you and ran away like avoid-o girl. That is what happened right? I mean, I haven’t come down with Alzheimer's have I?”

“Yes, that’s what happened, how far in the future are you from, pet?”

“A hundred and two years”

“Bloody Hell,” said Spike, reaching for his cigarettes, one hand still trapped by Buffy.

“So what happened to our Buffy then?” he asked.

“It appears that they merely traded places, one would presume that our Buffy is now in this Buffy’s body,” explained the watcher.

“How do we get our Buffy back?” asked Spike, pulling a cigarette out of the packet with his lips.

“Hold on here. I am your Buffy! Just with more life experience, and I don’t want to go back.”

“What about our Buffy? She’s stuck in your body!”

“No, Spike she’s not,” said Buffy sadly. “She’s dead.”

“What!” he roared. He pulled his hand away from her.

“I was dying! I’m a hundred and twenty two years old Spike, I got pulled out on my death bed. The unhappy Buffy, the one that is still hurting about being pulled out of heaven, well she’s in heaven now. I remember what it felt like, after Willow ripped me out of heaven Spike, ya, it took me a long long time to get over it, but I moved on, she hadn’t yet, and what ever it was that made it so that I’m here in her body and her back in Heaven? I’m sure we both feel the same way. I would have given anything to be able to go back, knowing that there was someone to take my place, to do the slaying, to take care of Dawn, and look here I am. Don’t pull her out of heaven again. Please.”

The two men stood in silence for a while contemplating her words.

“Hey, I just realised something!” declared Buffy. “I’m older than Spike!”

Spike looked for a moment, as he did the mental calculations in his head. “You are at that pet. Not by much though.”
__________________________________________
Buffy and Spike strolled hand in hand into the cemetery. Pausing in front of her mother’s grave, Buffy knelt down.

“Hey mom, it’s been a long time since I’ve had the chance to talk to you like this, well I just want to say, I miss you, and I’m sorry I’m not there to be with you right now, I know part of me is there...It’s just, it’s been hard mom, loosing everyone around me and being cooped up in that sick room for months, with no one visiting me except Missy. That’s one thing I’ll have to change right there, someone has got to persuade Eleanor to name her kid something sensible.” Buffy laughed, “But hey, you’re the one that named me Buffy. It’s genetic isn’t it, the capacity to name kids weird names. Don’t worry about me mom, I’ll take care of Dawn and Spike,” Buffy looked up coyly at the vampire. “I’ll make sure he gets plenty of hot chocolate with those little marshmallows.” Buffy stood up. “Good bye mom, I’ll talk to you soon.”

Buffy stepped away from the grave.

“Thanks Spike,” she said, taking his hand again.

“Did you mean what you said, that you were going to ply me with cocoa and marshmallows?” he asked as they walked out of the grave yard.

“You betcha, you wanna start now?”

“What about patrol?”

“Hot chocolate first, patrol later.”
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Buffy and Spike walked into the house on Revello drive to be confronted by Dawn, who was clearly mad.

“It was your turn to make dinner! And Willow brought your shopping home for you. When did we get the money for you to buy all that stuff!”

“We don’t have the money, as I recall we are broke, flat out broke.”

“Where did you get the money Buffy?”

“From a friend...”

“Some one gave you money to go shopping?”

“No, not so much with the giving, it was more of a taking with out asking.”

“You stole money!?”

“No, it’s complicated, which reminds me, Miss petty theft, pot, kettle...hmmmm? Don’t think I don’ know what’s going with you Dawn. I’m from the future, I know everything....Everything.”

“What’s this pet?” Spike asked curious.

“I don’t know what you are talking about...” denied Dawn.

“I’m old Dawn, not gullible. Listen, return the stuff, and I won’t make a big deal about it. I’d start with the Magic Box first, cause you know Anya will flip when she finds out.” Buffy left Dawn speechless in the hallway.

“What was that all about Slayer?” asked Spike, sitting down at the island in the Kitchen.

“Just something between Dawn and me, no sense in bringing everyone in to it. ‘Sides I need to tell you something, or a couple of somethings... K, you died, or dusted...you probably gathered that after weepy Buffy ran into your arms, anyway besides the point, after you were gone, I was tracked down by your lawyers, Wolfram and Hart...Evil yes, but excellent record keepers. So they find me, weepy and distraught, and tell me that you willed everything to me, the whole shebang, all 5.5 million of it. I never had the account changed, I know the account numbers and everything, and I kinda used some of your savings to go shopping today.”

Spike sat back with his hands folded staring at the island.

“Say something?”

“I must have dusted not long from now, if you got 5.5, cause that’s how much is in there now...”

“I can’t tell you when you die Spike...”

“Why not?”

“Cause this time around I don’t intend to let it happen that way.”
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That night she patrolled with Spike, a solemn sombre Spike, contemplating the world, or maybe the fact that Buffy knew things, she was an oracle into the future. Buffy on the other hand, was having a great time, beating up random vamps.

“You know I haven’t done this for at least seventy five years.”

“Do you know what’s going to happen tomorrow?” he blurted out of the blue.

“Yes, pay off your poker debts, I know you can afford to... Just trust me on this one, ok?” Buffy plunged her stake into her vampire opponent.

“Were you happy?”

“Happy when? That you dusted? God no! I love you, and I never got the chance to say it Spike, wait that’s wrong, I was too afraid to say it, too afraid of what my friends would think, too afraid of how it goes against everything I stood for...I was wrong. I knew that I cared about you, I was just stupid to not let myself fall in love with you. Then I did, and it was too late.”

Buffy walked over to where Spike was standing and took his hands.

“Look, you’ve been by my side, fighting, watching my back since Glory, and ya you’ve done some really stupid stuff, the Buffy bot being a prime example, and you’ve been the only one I could talk to about this whole heaven thing. So, you want a glimpse into the future, here it is. If this hadn’t happened, if the other Buffy was here now, I’d still be fighting it. I’d be denying that I ever kissed you, and beating myself up for kissing you, then after some wacky highjicks, involving Witchy Willow and the guy you owe kittens to, we kiss again, then you’ll find out that your chip doesn’t work on me, something about being brought back from the dead, and we’ll fight, and we’ll shag, and I’ll resent you for it, and myself, because it’s wrong. I’ll use you for sex, oh it will be great sex, wonderful passionate sex, but that’s all it will be for me, cause I think there’s something wrong with me. And you will still love me, and hope that the next time I’ll realise that you love me and that I’ll love you back. And I’ll break your spirit, and your heart. Well you know what? That’s not going to happen now. I love you Spike, the way you are, no soul, bad attitude, cigarettes and all. I’ve had the destructive ‘I want to feel’ sex and it starts to kill us both. I don’t want that to happen. I’ve been so lonely without you all these years. I even married a couple of guys who looked like you just to fill the void,”

Spike gave her a look.

“Oh god, not at the same time. But I divorced them almost as soon as I married them, they weren’t you. I think I was fifty six before I finally gave up that you weren’t going to be reincarnated in some stud muffin. I’ve spent most of my life training Slayers, working for the council and obsessing over you.”

Spike reached up and brushed a piece of hair out of her face.

“Please Spike, just let me love you, like you deserved to be loved.”

“I love you too, Buffy.”

Buffy leaned in and pressed a kiss to his lips.

“Come on,” she said pulling him towards his crypt, “it’s time to do number 2 on my list of things to do.”

“What’s that pet?”

“Make love with the man I’ve loved for a over a century.”
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Author’s note: This was supposed to be a one shot, aiming for resolution of issues that the show left hanging. However, now at the end I realise that it could go so much further and in so many directions. If there’s interest I may write a sequel.



Second Youth
By Ariel Dawn

Summery: After Buffy’s return to the year 2001, she sets about to accomplish the things on her list of things to do.

Disclaimer: Not mine, but geez I like playing with other people’s toys.

Author’s note: Ok, so after really enthusiastic response to Second Youth, I’ve decided that this idea could be expanded, and oh how the idea took me. Thanks to all my reviewers, I wouldn’t have continued with this idea without you!

I’d like to dedicate this chapter to WendyJane who reviewed on Buffy and Spike central and gave me the most beautiful review I’ve ever gotten. *Hugs*
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Chapter 2: Thursday

“Xander!” screamed Buffy happily.

Buffy bounded into Xander’s arms as he walked into her kitchen.

“Buff? Did someone take happy pills today?” he asked.

“No, silly,” said Buffy , backing away from her friend, “I just didn’t see you yesterday, or for the past 80 or so years. You think I need drugs to be happy to see you?”

“No, I like Happy Buffy, wait, 80 years?”

“Oh, so Anya didn’t tell you the fabulous news of me?”

“No...What happened Buff?”

Buffy turned to see Dawn walk into the kitchen with her school bag.

“Good morning Dawn,” said Buffy with a smile.

“Whatever,”

“Hey! Some sort of acknowledgement would be good here.”

“Crone,”

“Thief,”

“Hey!”

“And I say ‘Hey’ back, I’m not a crone! Look at me with the non croneness.”

“Please, don’t go on about the fact that you still have your own teeth, if I have to hear about your teeth once more I’m going to hurl.”

“Whatever, just you get to fill in Xander on the way to school ok? Have great day.”

Buffy watched Xander and Dawn exit the building, Xander confused, Dawn morose. Buffy had had a great day yesterday, waking up in your twenty year old body would do that to you. She had shopped to her hearts content, with Spike’s money, She’d visited her mom’s grave, she’d patrolled and kicked some undead ass and most importantly she‘d had I love you sex with Spike. A pretty good day. Of course there were other things to fix, to make better for her friends, and there were other things that she really wanted to do now that she wasn’t an old crone any more.

Buffy started the Breakfast dishes, just a Tara walked into the kitchen.

“I slept in, I was up really late last night doing a paper,” explained the witch.

“No problem,” said Buffy with a smile. “But I’m going to hug you.”

“O...okay,” stuttered Tara unsure.

Buffy launched herself into Tara’s arms and gave her a big hug.

“Uh...thanks Buffy,” said Tara. “Is everything alright?”

“Oh totally,” said Buffy going back to her dishes.

From behind her, Buffy could hear Tara gasp. Buffy turned to face her shocked friend.

“B..Buffy...your aura...it’s like you are really old...”

“122 actually, Willow didn’t tell you?”

“No...What happened? Did Willow do another spell?”

“Not that I know of, but if she did, Good Spell. I’m from 102 years in the future, Buffy that was here, I’m thinking she’s in heaven, cause the fact that I was pulled out just as I was about to kick it.”

Buffy winced at her own vulgar words, but shook her head. She was twenty now, she didn’t have to be a role model for the masses anymore, just Dawn, and she wasn’t there.

Buffy took another look at her friend and realized that Tara was speechless. Buffy smiled.

“Don’t worry about it Tara. I’m happy Buffy.”
__________________________________________
Buffy sat in front of the TV, enjoying Passions of all things. Buffy had found a couple of Spike's old tapes and had decided to curl up with a lot of junk food (#3 on her list) and see what all the fuss was about. At the same time, she decided to write out a list of things she felt needed to be done.

Buffy’s list of things to do now that I’m not an old crone

1. Go to the Beach - work on tan, before the ozone layer completely evaporates - Take Dawn
2. Have sex with love of your life, as much as possible.
3. Eat junk food.
4. Shop, shop like there’s no tomorrow.
5. Bronze it up - Take Spike - Get Drunk - get the hang over of all hangovers
6. Visit Mom’s grave, if possible, look to move her out of Sunnydale.
7. Patrol, kick undead booty
8. Have talk with Willow about magic over use - possible prop, ice cream, chocolate chips and gummy bears.
9. Marriage counsel Xander and Anya (Pre marriage counsel?)
10. Put nerds in jail, possibly after diamond bust (note, what to do about Andrew?)
11. Have Giles start looking into the watcher’s diaries about the first evil - thus stopping the trip to England.
12. Get paid by watcher’s council. God knows they can afford it.
13. Find Cameras put up by nerds

Buffy put down her pen to munch on some Cheetos, and took a swig of her non diet coke. Buffy took a look at her list and added two more things to it.

14. De-rat Amy.
15. Find Rack and take him out.
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Buffy was feeling good and blob like as 3:30 in the afternoon rolled around. She had drunk an entire 2 L of Coke and a bag of Cheetos, a bag of all dressed Lays and a bag of Swedish berries. Buffy let a loud burp echo through the empty house.

“Ewwww,”

Ok make that an almost empty house.

“Dawn?” Buffy called out.

“Since when did you get so gross?” Dawn asked, coming into the living room.

“Since I thought no one else was home. How was school?”

“Blech, as usual.”

“Alright, I believe you, what are you doing on Saturday?”

“Why?”

“I’m going to the beach, and I want you to come with.”

“Can’t, I don’t have a bikini that fits anymore.”

“Oooh,” Buffy pushed the empty chip bowl off her lap and dug into her sweat pants pockets. Buffy pulled a couple of bills out, and handed them to Dawn.

“Fifty bucks? Where did you get fifty bucks?”

“My sugar daddy, use it to buy your self a suit.”

“Your sugar daddy?”

“Considering that he now knows I’m taking money from him, and the fact that he got seriously laid last night, damn straight he’s my sugar daddy.”

“Ewwwwww, impressionable youth here!”

“I thought you were 15, being on the verge of a mature 16 year old?”

“I still don’t want to hear about my sister’s sex life.” Dawn sat down on the couch, “ Can I ask a question though? Who is this sugar daddy of yours?”

“Spike.” Buffy smiled.

Dawn’s jaw dropped. “Are you kidding me!!!! You and Spike are ... making with the smoochies? When did this happen?”

“Technically...in a couple of weeks from now.”

“Huh?”

“Remember? I’m future girl, or future crone, depending on the awakeness of Dawn. I decided to move up the time table. He deserved it, and he’s way hot, completely drool worthy.”

Dawn smiled. “I’m so happy for you!” she beamed, launching herself into Buffy’s arms.

“I’d be happier if I knew that you did what I asked you last night...you did take care of that right?”

Dawn blushed, “Most of it...”

“It’s a start. So Beach, Saturday, I’m thinking potato salad and Veggie dogs.”

“Veggie dogs?”

“Oh, I became a vegetarian in 2013, or a sort of vegetarian, did you know that gummy bears have beef fat in them? I try not to think about it...”
__________________________________________
Feeling the gummy bears literally depositing themselves onto her thighs Buffy decided exercise was in order. Leaving Dawn to do her homework, Buffy walked to the Magic Box, eager to talk to Giles about #11 and #12 on her list.

Buffy found Anya hidden behind a bridal magazine at the counter.

“Hey, Anya, is Giles here?” asked Buffy sitting down at the research table.

“Oh, ya he’s in the back, is there anything I can do for you?”

“Actually, yes, brides maid dresses, I don’t know exactly how deep into the selection process you are, but I’d like to give a piece of friendly advice, radioactive green, not a good choice, and you might want to move the date of the wedding, it rains.”

“It rains?”

“On the day you and Xander have set...torrential down pour.”

“Oh, thanks Buffy, I knew there was a reason I wanted you as my maid of honour. I really haven’t decided on the bride’s maids dresses yet, I’m still debating between dresses or blood larva and burlap.”

“Well let me know. And Anya?”

“Yes?”

“I’m honoured to be your maid of honour. Wow, that sounded redundant, didn’t it?”

“The English language actually baffles me at times,” admitted the ex demon.

Buffy smiled.

Giles came out of the back room of the shop with his nose in a book, an accounting book.

“Anya we seem to be missing two rabbits feet.”

Anya’s eyes went wide in terror. “Don’t ask me about rabbit’s feet Giles, I refuse to touch those things!”

“Be that as it may, we are still missing the items. Oh...Buffy, welcome, you waiting for me?”

Buffy nodded. “I have a couple of things I need to talk to you about. First, I need money. No I don’t want you to give me money. I want the watcher’s council to start paying me for my services. I’ve died for them, I think I deserve to be on the payroll.”

“Uh...There is no precedent, no Slayer has ever been paid before...It’s a sacred duty.”

“A sacred duty that isn’t paying for my gummy bears Giles. Will you look into it? I don’t think that the watcher’s council really wants their non incarcerated Slayer flipping burgers at the Doublemeat palace. ...Crap!”

Buffy shook her head.

“What is it Buffy?” asked Giles concerned.

“Nothing, I just remembered something. Something else that has to go on my list of things to do. Will you do it Giles?”

“Of course Buffy, I don’t promise success though, Travers is not a man with whom precedents are made.”

“I know you will do your best Giles.”

“You said that there were a couple of things that you needed to talk to me about.”

“I need you to do some research for me, well actually for yourself, cause things are going to start to happen and we need to be on top of it this time, and that can only happen when you are here in Sunnydale with us.”

“What do you need me to research?”

“The First Evil,”

“Dear Lord, you aren’t serious, you can’t fight the first evil Buffy.”

“Oh yes I can, I have and I will. Look Giles, I need to get a head start on this, this year, not so much with the eventful, after I take care of some nerds. We can use this time to better prepare for the apocalypse.”

“But you lived through this apocalypse, it can’t have been that bad,”

“Oh it’s bad, the worst one yet in fact, and we lose a lot of good people.” Buffy resisted the urge to look in Anya’s direction.
__________________________________________

Buffy met Spike for patrol that night. Buffy completely had to bite her lip to keep from giggling she was so happy. And she could tell Spike was happy too.

“What did you do today?” he asked.

“Oh watched Passions, eat a spectacular amount of junk food, thereby completing # 3 on my list of things to do. Talked to Dawn, who by the way now knows the identity of my sugar daddy...”

“Sugar Daddy?”

“Yep,” Buffy took his face in her hands and pressed a kiss to his lips. “Until the council starts paying me, I think I’ll be living off of you.”

Spike kissed her back, grabbing her butt and pulling her closer.

“I want you to come live with me and Dawn.”

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me Mr. vampire hearing. I want you to come live with me and Dawn.”

“Why?”

“Why?” Buffy’s nose wrinkled, “Cause I love you silly vamp. Cause I want to spend as much time with you as possible. Everyone else pretty much lives at my house, how about you too? And you are paying for a full copper re-pipe of said house.”

“I don’t know how you got me to agree to pay for that mess...”

“I think it got decided sometime between the 4th and 5th time. Besides I think you like being my sugar daddy.”

Spike groaned.

“Please say you will come live with us?” Buffy rubbed herself seductively against his body, before pulling away. “Please say you will sleep in my bed and make love to me every single night for the rest of my life?” Buffy whispered, so lowly that only a vampire would have heard her.

Spike let out a growl and tackled her to the ground, pinning her arms to the grass and kissing her senseless.
__________________________________________
Buffy set Amy’s cage on the island in the kitchen

“So we meet again,” said Buffy peering into the cage. “This time it’s gonna be different Miss Madison.”

The rat in the cage continued to run in the metal exercise wheel.

“Oh I see you there, trying to ignore me, just you mind who de-rats you.”

Buffy lifted the metal frame off the cage and scooped the rat up in her hands. Buffy peered into Amy’s rat eyes and started muttering under her breath.

There was a flash of light, leaving Buffy and Amy the rat in the kitchen just as they were.

Buffy put Amy back in her cage and set the metal bars back in place.

“One more night as a rat for you,” said Buffy as she took the cage back to Willow’s room, hoping not to wake up the sleeping Wiccas.
__________________________________________

tbc... oh yes there is going to be more.


Second Youth
By Ariel Dawn

Summery: Buffy continues to whittle down her list.

Disclaimer: Joss made season 6 painful, I’m trying to make it happy.
__________________________________________
Friday

Buffy woke up with a brilliant smile on her face. She breathed in and out, happy to be alive. Then she heard the scream.

Buffy heard Dawn bolt out of her room and into Willow and Tara’s. Calmly Buffy threw back her own covers and headed to the congregation of women.

The first thing that Buffy noticed when she entered Willow and Tara’s room was the large amount of sawdust that had exploded all over the room. In the middle of which stood Amy, rat no more.

“Good morning Amy,” said Buffy cheerfully.

“How...How did it happen?” asked Dawn.

“I woke up and just looked at her in the cage all burrowed and sleeping, and then whammy! Amy the rat was not the rat.”

“I feel strange,” said Amy, “like I need to chew on something.”

Buffy snickered. “That’s probably a side effect from being a rat for so long.”

“Probably. Um...could I get some clothes?” asked Amy.
__________________________________________
“So did Willow catch you up with all the happenings about Sunnydale?” said Buffy as she scooped scrambled eggs onto Amy’s plate. Amy had been given some of Tara’s sweats, they were too big, but Buffy and Willow were too short to lend clothes and Dawn was too skinny.

“You really blew up the school?”

Buffy smiled, “Yep, I had help though,”

“And you were dead? But now you are alive, but from the future an old lady from the future?”

“Gee let me guess, Dawn added that part.”

“She said something about not mentioning your teeth.”

Buffy giggled. “I guess I made too much of a big deal about that huh?”

“Willow doesn’t know how I was brought back to being not a rat...”

“Do you?” Buffy asked.

“No, it’s funny, I don’t.”

“Oh well, it’s a good thing you are back to being not rat Amy. I need your help with something though...”

“Sure, it’s the least I can do for ... I don’t know what.”

“There’s this guy, name’s Rack, do you know him, or of him?”

Amy suddenly found her eggs very interesting.

Buffy waited for an answer. When there was none, she continued.

“It’s ok if you do. I need some help tracking him down.”

“What are you going to do to him?”

“Nothing fatal.”
__________________________________________
Buffy and Amy walked into the Magic shop in time for Anya to flip the sign to open.

“Buffy!” greeted Anya happily, “I have some dresses that I’d like you to give your honest opinion on, and who is this?”

“Anya, this is Amy,”

“Amy?” asked Anya.

“The rat,” clarified Amy.

“Right! I remember now. Congratulations on not being a rat anymore.”

“Thanks,” said the witch unsure.

“Anya, Giles called me he said he wanted to talk?” asked Buffy.

“Oh yes, once again he is recounting the...” Anya cringed “rabbit’s feet, he seems determined to find the things.”

Anya thrust a few magazine clippings at her maid of honour. Buffy peeked through them hesitantly. Sure enough among the selections was the hideous dress she had worn to Anya’s wedding the first time around.

“See I like these three, but I’d like a second opinion,” said the bride to be.

“Ok, right now I’m going to say definite no to this one,” said Buffy holding up the picture of the radioactive dress, “This colour green does no one’s complexion any good, plus that kind of bright, the guests will be looking at your wedding party and not you. Trust me on this I’ve been married six times. My third wedding, to this guy named William Blakely, I chose a very similar colour of green, cause it was the in colour that year, as my bride’s maids colour, in the photo’s afterwards, I found Dawn and Willow in every picture, but not me. Learn from me Anya.”

Anya had been nodding the whole time. “What about the others?”

“This mint green, I like it a lot, and the sea foam? It’s not my favourite. I like the mint.”

Buffy handed back the pictures and stalked about the room, looking for the video camera that was hidden there. Unfortunately she was halted in her progress by the appearance of Giles, his nose in a book. With his nose in that book, whatever it was, he failed to notice Amy straight away.

“Hey Mr Giles,” said Amy trying to get his attention.

“Dear Lord, Amy, you...you aren’t a rat!”

“Not a rat.” she agreed.

“Did Willow....?”

“Nope, Willow doesn’t know how it happened,” said Buffy. “Giles you wanted to talk to me?”

“Right, I’ve received an answer to your request for a salary. Unfortunately, despite my best efforts, Travers has denied the request. I’m so sorry Buffy.”

Buffy gave her watcher a smile.

“Thanks for putting in an effort Giles. It’s not your fault that they are all stick in the mud overbearing pompous pricks. This just means it’s time for plan b.”

“Plan b?”

“B, as in blackmail.”

“You intend to blackmail the watcher’s council?”

“Oh I’ve got dirt on them like you wouldn’t believe.”
__________________________________________
“Are you sure about this?” asked Amy.

“Yes, I am. Look just tell me where Rack’s place is and you can go,” said Buffy.

Buffy and Amy were walking in the afternoon sun, up and down the alleys in Sunnydale’s questionable down town district. Suddenly Amy stopped dead.

“There,” she said. “Right in front of you.”

“Thanks.” Buffy put her hand up in front of her and pushed forward, her hand disappeared. Buffy pulled her hand back and turned to the witch. “You don’t have to stay.”

“You sure you will be ok?”

“Oh ya, I’ll be fine. Amy? When you go back to my house...If there is an ugly garden gnome next to one of the trees? Smash it for me?”

“Uh...sure Buffy..” Amy turned and ran back down the alley.

“Here I come” muttered Buffy as she passed through the barrier into Rack’s lair.
__________________________________________
Buffy looked at the cowering mass of what was once the mighty Rack before her feet. She really didn’t understand his reaction. After all she hadn’t laid a hand on him, technically. Buffy looked with pity on the other two magic junkies that were in the room. They had seen Buffy pull all of Rack’s powers out of him, leaving him the way he was.

Buffy stepped away from Rack and to the doorway. Looking over her shoulder, Buffy whispered one word,

“Forget”
__________________________________________
Buffy skipped home in a gleeful mood. She had promised to wow everyone with her not yet famous vegetarian lasagna. She had loved the reaction from Dawn when she had offered to cook something, from scratch.

“Do you expect us to survive this onslaught?”

Yes, in fact, she was tempted to tell Dawn that her lasagna was the only way that Eleanor would eat her vegetables for two years. But then Buffy thought it might not be a good idea to start talking about Dawn’s kid with Dawn

There was a lot of things that she shouldn’t talk about with the rest of the Scoobies, but Buffy didn’t care. If she did something wrong, she could chalk it up to being a crazy old lady. She’d been one for so long...

Buffy laughed to herself , then took off down the road.
__________________________________________
Buffy ran into Restfield cemetery. She fully expected him to be asleep, it was noon after all, and there things to do for tonight, grocery shop (with Spike’s money), find the company plates, start her blackmailing letter to the Council of Wankers and clear out a couple of drawers for Spike to move in. He wouldn’t be staying in the crypt anymore if she could help it.

Buffy opened the door to the vampire’s home quietly and trod down stairs. Buffy’s breath caught as she spied him lying spread eagled on the bed, his bleached locks tossled, and covered only by the sheet that had fallen just past his waist. She was getting turned on just by looking at him.

Stealthily, she removed her clothes and slipped into bed with him, snuggling close to him. He smelled so good, looked so good, and he was in her arms. Unbidden, tears started forming in the corners of her eyes.

Spike groaned and turned over in his sleep, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her closer.

She had been so lonely for such a long time, because of him. He had ruined her for other guys. No man she had ever met, much less married could compete with his memory. Ya it was unfair, but then, she was entitled to her eccentricities. Her second husband had made the unfortunate mistake of initiating the who loves who more game one night, three weeks after their wedding. She had ended the game, the conversation and the marriage with one phrase: Not as much as Spike did.

And now she was crying, because she had missed him, because he was here now, and because she couldn’t think up a way for him to come out of the battle with the First Evil with out him dying.
__________________________________________
“There’s a Slayer in my bed,” he said two hours later.

Buffy had been just sitting there, holding on to him, enjoying the intimacy.

“Good afternoon!” she beamed.

“I didn’t go to sleep with a slayer in my bed.”

“Nope, you didn’t, good thing to, cause if it’s not me who’s the slayer in your bed, I’m gonna kick Faith’s ass.”

A smile spread over Spike’s face, like he had just realised something.

“There’s a naked slayer in my bed.”
__________________________________________
Buffy didn’t actually get home again until nearly 4pm. She would have to hustle to get dinner ready by six. Dawn was put on cheese grating duty, while Willow chopped veggies. Tara was drafted to find the company plates and set the table. Buffy stood stirring the sauce while the noodles cooked. Buffy couldn’t remember the last time she had had an opportunity to make her special dish for anyone. It was probably at the last Summers family reunion, when Buffy had been informed that she was going to be a great great great aunt.

“Are we still going to the beach tomorrow?” asked Dawn as she grated mozzarella.

“You betcha!” Buffy smiled. “I can’t wait to see your new suit and I bought a video camera for the occasion.”

“With your Sugar Daddy money?”

“Absolutely!”

Willow stopped chopping. “Sugar Daddy?”

“Oh yeah” Buffy turned off the burner cooking the noodles and took the pot to the sink to be drained.

“Buffy Anne Summers! Are you going to tell me or not?” asked Willow, waving the knife around.

“First of all, Wills, put down the knife and step away from the cutting board.”

Willow gave that nervous giggle of hers and put down the knife.

“You will find out the identity of quote, unquote Sugar Daddy, at dinner. It’s like mystery dinner theatre, except for the theatre part.”
__________________________________________
The mood around the table was mixed. Buffy herself, was vastly pleased with pretty much everything. Dawn was equal parts moody teen and happy kid. Willow was cautious, Anya bubbly, Giles serious and Xander glared menacingly at Spike who looked very uncertain. Tara was glad and Amy, well not being a rat anymore, it had it’s perks. She refused to eat anything pellet shaped or with cheese (with the exception of tonight’s meal, as it was polite and it was the least she could do...for she didn’t know what).

Dawn was the first to try the main course, eagerly the rest of the guests watched in awe and apprehension.

“Wow! Buffy you learned to cook!” gushed Dawn. “It only took you 102 years...”

“Hey! I’ll have you know that I’ve been making this since ... Well never mind since, it’s been a good long time.”

Buffy inwardly chastised herself. Must stop thinking about nieces!

Buffy’s guests raised their forks and dug in.
__________________________________________
As the meal wound down, Buffy took a momentary lull in the conversation to make an announcement.

“I have something I’d like to say. Several things actually. First we are all going to the Beach tomorrow, Bronzing tomorrow night, at which point I intend to get completely hammered, and hope to be poured into bed by Spike.”

This earned a grunt from Xander.

“I’ve asked Spike to move in here with me.”

Buffy waited for the collective gasp, but it didn’t come. Xander did try to say something, but his mouth was promptly covered up by Anya.

“I love him and I am gonna love who I wanna love. I’ve been alone for a long time and it’s time this Slayer stopped being alone. Who wants pie?”

“I want pie,” said Dawn right away.

“That was beautiful Buffy, can I use that in my wedding vows to Xander?” asked Anya.

“What the pie part?”

“No the alone part.”

“Of course Anya.”

Buffy left the table to get the pie, only to be followed by Spike, who hadn’t said a word.

In the kitchen the silence was deafening between them. Buffy could hear Dawn in the dinning room giggling about Buffy and Spike smoochies, and Willow asking if Spike was the sugar daddy.

“I love you,” he finally and simply said.

“I know, cause I love you too. Took me a hell of a long time to figure it out.”

Spike started to walk towards her but she held up her hand.

“Hold that thought.”

Buffy grabbed the pie, the pie plates and forks and the server and headed into the dining room.

“Here’s the pie, I have some place to be right now.”

Buffy turned, leaving a rather bewildered group of people returned to the kitchen, grabbed her boyfriend and headed out the door.
__________________________________________
“You realise when I move into your house, we won’t be able to have middle of dinner sex, pet,” Spike said as he stroked her arm.

Buffy rolled over the edge of the bed to look for her shoes.

“Life’s too short to not do what you want to do Spike. It’s my house, if I want to make love to you between the main course and dessert, then I will. Have you seen my other shoe?”

“Where are you going pet?”

“Mmmm,” she moaned and rolled back into his arms. “We, are going on patrol, and then we are going to pack up your stuff, and then we are moving you to our house.”

“Is that so pet?”

“That is so. I’ve decided that what is going to happen, and by golly, it’ll happen. I’m THE Slayer, Buffy Anne Summers, Master Trainer, Head Watcher and World Saver time and time again and oh crap I’ve said too much haven’t I?”

“You were the head of the bleedin’ council of wankers?”

“Head Wank herself.” Buffy fell back on the pillows of Spike’s bed.
__________________________________________
For those of you keeping track...

Buffy’s List of Things To Do Now That I’m NOT an Old Crone

1. Go to the Beach - work on tan, before the ozone layer completely evaporates - Take Dawn
2. Have sex with love of your life, as much as possible.
3. Eat junk food. -Done
4. Shop, shop like there’s no tomorrow.
5. Bronze it up - Take Spike - Get Drunk - get the hang over of all hangovers
6. Visit Mom’s grave, if possible, look to move her out of Sunnydale.
7. Patrol, kick undead booty
8. Have talk with Willow about magic over use - possible prop, ice cream, chocolate chips and gummy bears.
9. Marriage counsel Xander and Anya (Pre marriage counsel?)
10. Put nerds in jail, possibly after diamond bust (note, what to do about Andrew?)
11. Have Giles start looking into the watcher’s diaries about the first evil - thus stopping the trip to England.
12. Get paid by watcher’s council. God knows they can afford it.
13. Find Cameras put up by nerds
14. De-rat Amy. - Done
15. Find Rack and take him out. - Done
16. Get that Double meat icky lady demon thing
__________________________________________
tbc...

Second Youth
By Ariel Dawn

Summery: Beach day!

Disclaimer: Joss owns the Buffyverse, I only play in it

Author’s note: Thanks so much to all my reviewers! At one point in this chapter I actually had to wonder what time of the year it was, so I checked, Once more with feeling aired in November. Now I don’t know if it’s warm enough to be doing the beach thing in November in California, as I‘ve never been there myself, but let’s just assume that it’s VERY warm in Sunnydale and environs that year, call it author‘s license if you will. As I’m going camping this weekend and won’t be able to post, I give you this update... Enjoy! And Happy mother’s day all!
__________________________________________
Saturday

Buffy woke up to feel the wonderfulness of Spike’s arms around her. With a smile she rolled towards him and kissed his chest.

“I have to get up, Beach party today. I have to put together the potato salad.”

Spike groaned. “I thought you made the bloody thing yesterday?”

“I boiled the potatoes yesterday,”

Spike pulled her closer to him and began to nuzzled her neck.

“Spike...” Buffy warned.

He didn’t stop. Buffy rolled her eyes and smiled.

“You aren’t planning on letting me up out of this bed are you?”

“I like naked Slayer in my bed.”
__________________________________________
Buffy laid on her bright pink beach towel, beside her, was set up the video camera, tripod and all, taping everything. Everything in place, Buffy grabbed a cell phone out of her beach tote and dialled.

“Good morning!” she said happily in to the phone.

There was a groan from the other end.

“No complaints Mr, I’m a Vampire so I can sleep all bloody day. Up up up!”

More groaning.

“Spike, get your lazy ass out of that bed and go turn on the tv.”

“Beg pardon?” said the vampire finally gaining some amount of ability to turn thoughts into rational speech.

“Spike, down stairs, turn on tv. I promise you’ll like.”

Buffy heard him trudge down the stairs and into the living room.

“Ok, the bloody thing is on, there’s no picture though.”

“Ok, hold on, I have to hang up the phone.”

Buffy hung up and redialled, setting the phone on the video camera. Buffy stepped back from the camera and waved.

“Is there picture now?” she asked the camera.

“Bloody Hell!” came the response from the phone.

“I’m glad you like. I wanted you to be able to come to the beach too,”

“How did you do this?”

“Oh I’m techno girl now. Hold on Giles needs help with the BBQ.”

Buffy rushed over to help her watcher, just as Dawn came up from the water.

“Buffy? When’s lunch?” asked Dawn.

“Soon, say hello to Spike,” said Buffy from beside the BBQ.

“Hi Spike, welcome to the Beach.” Dawn waved at the camera.

“Hello yourself Nibblet,” came Spike’s voice from the phone.

Dawn jumped. “Holy Crap!” she screamed.

Spike chuckled. Buffy nearly lost it and had to keep herself from falling over she was laughing so hard.

“Not funny Buffy!” Dawn stormed off with her towel.

“But it so was!” laughed Buffy. “Oh look Xander and Anya are here!”

“What’s wrong with Dawn?” asked Xander.

“She can’t take a joke,” replied Buffy. “Did you bring drinks?”

“Sure did, and the jelly doughnut goodness.”

“This is your last box of donuts Mister Harris, if you don’t stop you won’t be able to fit into your tux!” said Anya.

“Anya, the wedding isn’t for months!” protested the groom.

“Looks to me like the whelp could stand to lose a few pounds,” came Spike’s voice.

Xander jumped a bit (not as much as Dawn) and started looking around frantically for the owner of the vampire’s voice.

“Did everyone hear that or am I officially hearing voices?”

“I heard it,” said Anya as she raised her hand.

“I brought Spike to the beach,” said Buffy proudly, indicating the video camera.

Xander walked over to the device and inspected it. “You mean he can see us but we can’t see him?”

“Oy! Whelp you are blocking my view!”

Xander jumped back a bit.

“I think it’s wonderful,” said Anya pulling off her shorts and t-shirt to reveal a bikini that perfectly matched Buffy‘s towel.

“Spike, stop ogling Anya,” ordered Buffy.

“What makes you thing I was looking at her at all, pet?”

Buffy rolled her eyes.

“Do you really want me to answer that Spike? Anyway it’s lunch time, go to the fridge, I left you some salad and some blood.”

“Salad? I’m not eatin’ bloody salad,”

“Fine, drink your blood, be difficult.” Buffy turned and waved at the three witches and the key who were throwing a Frisbee around.

The group gathered around the assorted blankets and towels, to be treated to veggie dogs and potato salad, ice cold cokes and assorted left-overs from the night before.

“I apologise for the tardiness of the meal,” said Giles, putting mustard on his hot dog, “I could not get the infernal contraption lit.”

“Ooh, you should have asked me, Giles, I’m very good with fire, in the ‘I’m a witch I can make it’ sense, not in the pyromaniac sense,” babbled Willow.

“No, it’s fine, Wills, Giles and I got it done, and look to prove it, hot food! Magic doesn’t need to be used all the time, especially for little things like starting fires,” said Buffy helping herself to a coke.

“So the G-man didn’t get his merit badge,” observed Xander, in between mouthfuls.

Giles glared.

“Pet? Did you do something to this salad?” Spike asked.

“Yes, just eat it, you’ll like.”

“Ewwwwww,” cringed Dawn, “You didn’t put blood in it did you?” Dawn poked at her own salad with revulsion.

“I didn’t do anything to your salad Dawn!”
__________________________________________

Buffy was dressed and makeup-ed and prowling around her house, looking for cameras. Dawn was still complaining about how she should be allowed to go, but Buffy had put her foot down. Fifteen year old Dawn, no matter how much she was on the verge of being a mature sixteen, was not going to the Bronze where Buffy intended to get completely sloshed.

Buffy was waiting for the others to get ready. Spike had put no effort into dressing up, not that she expected him to, he was sexy in what he usually wore, ok, he would be sexy in anything and nothing. Buffy looked down at her own outfit, very dark, very revealing and something she would have yelled at Dawn for wearing. Ya I’m a hypocrite, but I’m old, gimme gimme gimme

Giles had agreed to patrol for the night, so that Buffy could have a night off. It was very nice of him, but Buffy had a feeling he only did it so he wouldn’t be asked to come with.

Anya was the first of the girls to come down stairs. Why she was getting ready here? Buffy really had no clue, especially since Xander was meeting them there.

“Oh Buffy, I meant to ask you, since you are my maid of honour, Bachelorette party?”

Buffy smiled at the look on Spike’s face, who had been watching TV but now had his full attention on the slayer.

“Of course you will have a bachelorette party Anya? How could we not have one? And this time we can have strippers!”

“What do you mean this time? Didn’t you get me strippers the last time?”

“No, Xander said no, and at the time I was kinda grateful, I was so not in a mood to have fun then.”

“Did you have strippers at any of your bachelorette parties?”

Buffy smiled at that. “The first one ya, but by the time my second wedding rolled around the council decided I had to be a role model and all that...no more fun for Buffy.”

“Just how many times have you been married pet?” asked Spike.

“Why Spike! I’m only 20 years old, I haven’t married anyone,” she said coyly.

“Buffy...” he warned.

“Spike...” she warned right back. “You don’t need to know that. It will just lead to other questions and a lot storming around the house and breaking things.”

Spike smirked. “I’ll have the answers I want by the end of the night pet.”

Buffy rolled her eyes, “Ya you are probably right, that still doesn’t mean you are going to like what you hear.”

“I say we do a truth Spell on her and make her tell us all her secrets!” giggled Willow as she and Tara walked into the living room. “Ready to go?”
__________________________________________
Buffy’s head bobbed up and down to the music. This was fantastic! She hadn’t been dancing for what seemed like eons. It was probably more like decades, lots of decades. They found that Xander had already secured them a table, and was chatting with one of his work friends, Richard.

Buffy frowned. She knew Richard, he had been invited to her birthday party next year. Buffy introduced herself to Richard right away, giving him a big smile and then turned to introduce Spike.

“Richard, this is my boyfriend, William Darlington, we work in the same business.”

Richard passed a forced smile on his face and turned to Xander quizzically, then asked, “What exactly do you do?”

“We are in protection,”

“Like the police?”

“Sorta, but for a very private company, secret hush hush kinda thing.”

Richard looked a little impressed.

“Your name is Darlington?” Anya asked Spike seriously.

“What of it? And how did you find out?” he asked Buffy.

“Come on Spike, I’m ancient, I had access to the Council’s libraries and public record archives while I lived in London and you don’t think I didn’t have time to look up every little thing I could about you?”

“You’re ancient?” asked Richard.

“Oh yeah, 122, actually, not as old as Anya though.”

“1120 actually,” said Anya proudly.

“Huh?”

Xander tried to distract his friend, “Goofy kids, pulling your leg, they really should stop and I mean stop.”

Buffy rolled her eyes, then turned to Spike. “I need tequila stat!” she beamed and pulled Spike towards the bar.
__________________________________________
Buffy was hammered. She liked it. She liked it a lot. She liked the fact that she was practically doing Spike on the dance floor, and she wanted more.

Buffy leaned in to Spike’s ear and licked it. “Join me in the alley, love?” she purred.

“What happens in the alley, pet?”

Buffy smiled. “Wouldn’t you like to know.”
__________________________________________
 

Sunday

Buffy moaned. The room was too bright, even though she knew that the curtains were closed. She was seriously afraid to move, badness could ensue. She would feel Spike’s arms on her skin, and no offence to him, she just wanted not to be touched. Buffy tired to roll away but regretted it straight away. Buffy moaned.

“Hung over are we pet?” Buffy could tell even with her eyes closed that he was smirking. Buffy tried making her mouth work, but found it too dry. Buffy rolled and aimlessly felt her bed side table for her bottle of water. Spike anticipated her and uncapped it for her.

“Ug” she finally said, getting some water into her.

“How are ya feelin’ pet?” he asked.

Buffy had the urge to pop him one in the nose, just for asking the question. She looked at him, intending to give him what for, but instead, bolted for the bathroom.
__________________________________________

Half an hour later, Buffy emerged from the bathroom purged, showered and pain relieved. Lunch time had come and gone.

“Are you hung over enough?” asked Dawn much more loudly than necessary. Buffy cringed.

“Yes, thank you,” she said

Dawn smiled. “What did you do last night?”

“Danced, drank, other things I shouldn’t tell you.”

“Figures. The thing I don’t understand is why this was such a big deal.”

“It’s a very big deal Dawn,” said Buffy, “I’ve so much just wanted to be spontaneous and carefree, without having to think of the consequences for a long time. I’ve been a responsible adult far too long, I just wanted to be a frivolous girl again. That’s really hard to do when you are The Slayer and you’ve celebrated your centennial.”

“Well now you have the hang over to prove it.”

“Yep,” said Buffy reaching for her water bottle.
__________________________________________
“I need someone to proof read for me,” said Buffy with an innocent look on her face. “Please?” She handed the piece of paper to Spike, who was trying to watch Passions.

“You can write while you are hung over?”

“Happy Blue Pills are my friends.”

“Happy Blue Pills?”

“Advil Migraine liqui-gels, Happy Blue pills.”

“So what is it that I’m reading then?”

“Blackmail.”

Spike smiled and began to read.

Dear Mr Travers,

Allow me to firstly congratulate you and the Board of Elders at the Watcher’s Council on your acquisition of the Mark of JeiZel for the archives. I trust this relic will improve your research into the demon creation myth.

The main purpose of this letter is to follow up on the inquiry made by my watcher, Rupert Giles on the possibility of a salary for The Slayer.

I am well away that Slayers have never been paid for their slayer duties, however, in this day and age and considering the long life of the present Slayer (myself), it would seem reasonable and even sound policy to provide an income for Slayers that are past the age of majority. In today’s capitalistic world a Slayer who does not need to concern herself with how to provide for herself and her family those basic necessities of life, is a Slayer who can more effectively do the duty for which the Powers That Be have chosen her.

I will conclude this letter with a word of caution about your newest acquisition. Close proximity to bread mould can have a rather messy effect. Good luck with your research. I pray no Vlax demons find out about it and I look forward to hearing from you about the salary.

Dutifully yours,

Buffy Anne Summers,
Chosen One

“Who or what are the Board of Elders?” asked Dawn, who was now reading over Spike's shoulder.

“Department heads of the council, like there is a chief librarian, one is in charge of locating potentials, one is in charge of watcher training, etc.”

“And the Mark of JeiZel?”

“Just something that should not exist but does. Kinda like the Gem of Amara, but it doesn’t make anyone invincible. In the right circles though it could be very powerful.”

“Cryptic much?”

“Oh I try.”

“It’s good pet. I don’t know exactly how it will blackmail the wankers but you know best,” said Spike finally.

“Ooooh I like it when you say that,” she cooed.

Buffy kissed his cheek and left the room to type up her letter.
__________________________________________

After a few moments retyping her letter, a considerable afternoon shag and reading over Dawn’s history paper, Buffy and Spike took a car trip.

Buffy wanted to give Giles a copy of her letter to the council and she had double meat business to take care of.

Giles opened his door, book in hand.

“Buffy what a delightful surprise.”

Buffy handed him the copy of the letter.

“I wrote this. This is your copy, the other I’ve already put into the mail.”

Giles looked perplexed for a moment but began to read. Buffy looked over her shoulder to where Spike was waiting in the car. He was tapping his fingers to the rhythm of Friggin in the Riggin by the Sex Pistols.

“Buffy, this is absolutely extraordinary. Do they really have the Mark of JeiZel?”

“Besides the point Giles.”

“Ah yes, well it will certainly get Travers’ attention. You may have another delegation of watchers on your front porch.”

“It’s nothing I can’t handle Giles. Now if you will excuse me I will let you get back to your book. Spike and I are going out for Doublemeat medleys.”
__________________________________________
Buffy laughed as Spike looked exceedingly uncomfortable in the florescent lights of the Doublemeat Palace. Buffy leaned over and kissed his cheek.

“Just order something.”

“I don’t know what to bloody eat, it’s all processed and what is that smell?”

“We have to order something Spike, or they may kick us out.” Buffy rolled her eyes at her vampire and edged up to talk to the person on the cash. “I’d like a Doublemeat classic combo with an ice tea, and he will have the same but with a Coke.”

“Didn’t the nibblet tell me that you’d gone veggie?”

“Funny thing about the doublemeat burger...”
__________________________________________
Buffy munched down on her fries, basking in the glow from the grease that covered her fingers. Strangely enough she missed doublemeat burgers. They didn’t expand the franchise into England. All this thinking about eating burgers led her thoughts to her teeth, and how she still had her own, but people were sick of hearing about that.

“So you are telling me that you stooped to work in this hell hole?”

“For a little under a year.”

“Please tell me I tried to talk you out of it pet.”

“Oh you did, but I was desperate, I needed money. Does Full Copper Re-pipe not ring any bells?”

“It does, I paid for it remember?”

“And I am eternally grateful. The thing was at the time, I was still all Spike’s evil. So I wouldn’t have touched your money with a ten foot pole. I think I had that ten foot pole up my ass. I got pragmatic as I got older. Money is a necessary evil.”

“Look at you with all the big words, cracked a dictionary did we?”

Buffy rolled her eyes. Then something got her attention.

“There she is.”

Spike looked over in the direction that Buffy indicated with her fries. The old woman looked so innocent and unassuming.

“You sure pet?”

“Absolutely. Always orders the same thing, a coffee and an apple pie.”

Spike watched the lady in question, who was walking towards them. The old lady veered to the left and sat a few chairs away from the couple.

“You sure about that memory of yours love?”

Buffy had noticed the pie too. “Ok, it’s not important what the order is, just that I know what’s going to happen.”

Buffy munched a few more fries before licking her fingers and pushing the empty tray away from her.

“I feel like I just ate a tub of butter,” she sighed. “But it tasted better.”

Spike pushed his try closer to her, “Want mine pet?” Spike hadn’t even touched his food.

Buffy’s face lit up and she reached to unwrap the burger.
__________________________________________
Feeling whale-like Buffy was still waiting for the wig lady to finish her pie and coffee. Buffy planned a confrontation in the alley, she had brought a fun little axe for the occasion.

After what seemed like an eternity, the lady left the restaurant and Buffy and Spike followed. Spike took a slight detour to pick up the weapons from the car as Buffy continued to follow at a short distance.

“Are you following me my dear?” asked the old lady.

“Actually yes, I wanted to know where you shop for your wigs. I’m thinking about a wig for Halloween next year,” said Buffy sweetly.

The lady’s smile turned to a scowl. Buffy smiled. Time to kick demon booty.
__________________________________________
When Spike returned with the axe Buffy had the old lady/ grey penis shaped ugly thing backed into a corner. Spike tossed her the axe and watched as Buffy took off the protruding thing from the old lady’s head and proceeded to mash it into a gooey pulp.

“Let’s get out of here,” said Buffy. “The smell is starting to get to me, we can have alley sex some other time.”
__________________________________________
Buffy and Spike returned home to find that Dawn and Willow were watching The Craft on tv.

Spike excused himself, he had a poker game to attend.

“No kittens!” she called out after him.

“Buffy!” said Dawn just realising that her sister was home again, “Willow said she’ll teach me some spells!”

“Dawn I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Why not?” asked Dawn.

Willow turned to look at her friend.

“First of all, Dawn, you don’t know enough about your own powers to start messing with witchcraft. The combination of your keyness and witchy willow’s teachings it could all go kablooey.”

“I have powers?” asked Dawn excitedly.

“Secondly I think that Willow has some learning of her own to do before she starts instructing others. No offence will but I know just how powerful you are and frankly it’s truly scary. I don’t want my sister to get caught up in something that could hurt her.”

Willow huffed.

“Buffy? Tell me about my powers?” asked Dawn.

“No Dawn you will just have to figure them out yourself, that’s the way it works. Right Willow?”

“I learned witchcraft on my own,” said Willow dejectedly.

Dawn huffed and flew out of the room.

“What do you mean I scare you?” asked Willow.

“You scare me. You have all this power and you are still learning to fine tune and refine your ability to control it. That’s great and all, and I respect the fact that you are progressing so far ahead and all that, but Wills, what happens if you let it take you over? I know you don’t want to think about it. But it could happen. Magic is like a drug to some people. I just don’t want to see that happen to you. You are my best friend, I want it to stay that way.”

“I’ll always be your friend Buffy. I wouldn’t ever do anything to be not your friend. I don’t want to scare you. I like my power, true, cause I can help with the slaying and the world save-age. “

“I know Wills. I like that you want to help. I just want you to be careful, cause, well you saw what happened to Amy? I don’t my best friend to be turned into a rat or worse, because she wasn’t careful.”

Willow smiled. “I get what you are saying.”

“I do trust you,” said Buffy before Willow could say another word. “I just don’t trust the magic, there are always consequences to magic Wills.”

“That’s what Spike said.”

“He’s right.”

Willow sighed.

“I think Tara’s been trying to tell me that I’ve been using magic too much too.”

“I think if she has concerns you should listen to them. She cares about you too. She won’t want to have a rat for girl friend either.”

Willow giggled, the suddenly had gross face.

“Ewwww,” said the witch.

“What?”

“My mind made these pictures, it was nasty.”

Buffy laughed.

“Buffy? I’d really like to be able to find out how Amy got de ratted though.”

“I guess it’s just one of those things, Wills.”

Monday

Dawn was at school. Spike was in bed. Willow was at school. Tara was at school. Giles was at the magic Box, as was Anya. Xander was at his construction site. Buffy was bored.

She had successfully found what she thought were all the cameras that the nerds had put up, and she had been kicked out of the Magic Box for her troubles. It wasn’t her fault that she and Anya were getting on famously and that they had lots to talk about. Stupid Giles, making Anya work.

Buffy was frankly amazed that she got on as well with Anya now. They had more in common now, she guessed. Over the years she had caught herself actually saying that she wished Anya was there at a particular moment. She hadn’t really felt Anya’s death until she was going through her first wedding. It was all the wedding planning that made it real that Anya was dead.

Buffy walked over to her stereo and popped in a CD. She cranked the music. Sure Spike was sleeping, but she was bored!

The sounds of Simple Plan filled the house and Buffy started bouncing up and down to the music. The song had only gotten into the first chorus when something heavy hit the stereo. Buffy stopped dancing and turned to look at the irate vampire that had thrown a shoe at the stereo.

Buffy smiled sweetly. “Yes my love?”

Spike growled. “At least when I lived in the crypt people were respectful about the hours I keep.”

“Oh poor Spike.”

“I was sleeping Buffy!”

“I’m bored!”

Spike looked at her incredulously. “You’re bored? That’s why you decided to wake the dead?”

“Undead Spike.”

“Go bug Demon girl or the watcher at the shop.”

“They kicked me out.”

“Funny how that doesn’t surprise pet.”

“Hey!”

“You bleedin’ woke me up in the middle of the morning Slayer!”

“Spoil sport.”

“Don’t you have anything to do at all?”

“The house is clean, laundry is done...”

“Find something to do, I’m going back to bed, and if a certain blonde woman wakes me up again, I’m going back to the crypt.”

“It’s not my fault that you crept in just before dawn from your poker game.”

Spike growled, turned and left the room. He was on to her game. She wanted him to get angry with her. Why he couldn’t fathom.

Buffy watched her vampire tramp back up the stairs with a smile on her face. Yes, I am immature today!

Buffy exhaled loudly, grabbed her purse and headed back out the door.
__________________________________________
Buffy entered the Magic Box, bade greeting to Anya at the counter, dropped her purse on the table and headed up the ladder to the second level of occult books.

Ten minutes later Buffy was sitting with a large stack of books before her and was writing diligently on 3”x5” cue cards.

To say that Giles was shocked when he came into the main room of the shop to see his slayer with books around her was a large understatement.

“Dear Lord, Buffy, is something wrong, is there a demon? An apocalypse looming?”

“Nope,” she said not even looking up from her writing.

“I don’t understand.”

Buffy smiled.

“You’d be proud of me Giles, really, I’m getting the jump on my research.”

“Research? On the First Evil?”

“Oh no, this is my own research. I found out fifty years or so ago that I know an awful lot about Vamps that was never written down. I just thought I’d rewrite my books.”

“You’ve written books?” asked Giles.

“Those things that we have lots of that are dusty and smelly? Research books?” asked Anya.

“I’m all Ph. D-y and everything. I’m Doctor Buffy!” Buffy smiled at her notes.

“So what do you write about?” asked Anya.

“Mainly family structure and mating habits.”

Giles dropped his book. Buffy giggled.

“Oh there’s lots you don’t know about me. And I had to do something, I have a very irate vampire at home. I woke him up. He’s completely grumpy Spikey.”
__________________________________________
Buffy returned home around 3pm to find Spike up and watching Passions... again. Buffy flopped down on the couch beside him and gave him a huge hug.

“Are you still mad at me?” she asked with puppy dog eyes.

“Na, not really. Sometimes I wonder though if you are really 122.”

“Are you saying I’m not acting my age? What you want me to go and get myself a walker and start calling you sonny?”

“God no, it’s just, and don’t take this the wrong way pet, but you act like Dawn sometimes.”

Buffy gasped horrified.

“You take that back!”

Spike laughed, only to pushed down off the couch and on to the floor.

“I had to take a talking to from Giles about how he was impressed that my life is or was fulfilling and academic, now you are telling me that I’m like a 15 year old?”

“Who’s a fifteen year old?” asked Dawn coming into the living room.

“Me apparently, according to the boyfriend here.”

“Boyfriend? Now you do sound like a teenager,” snickered Spike.

“Ha, bloody, ha,” said Buffy hands on her hips.

Dawn laughed. “You said Bloody!”

“So?”

“Spike says Bloody, it’s his word!”

Buffy rolled her eyes. “It’s your turn to make supper, Dawn.”

“Nope, I traded off with Spike. He’s making dinner, I’m going to Janice’s to study.”

“Excuse me?”

“Spike can cook? Right Spike?” asked Dawn.

“Not about Spike cooking, when were you going to tell me you were going to Janice’s?”

“I just did, Buffy.”

“I think I need just a little more notice than that Dawn!”

“Geez, you aren’t my mother!”

“No, I’m your legal guardian, Dawn and I need to know where you are.”

“Whatever Buffy. Can I go to Janice’s?”

Buffy exhaled. “Fine go, but be back before 10pm.”

Dawn smiled. “Thanks Buffy!” Dawn bounded out of the room and up the stairs.

Buffy groaned.

“Teenagers never get easier, you would think that after 3 of them I would know the tricks?”

“Three kids pet?” he asked curiously, with a hint of jealousy in his voice.

“Oh God, not my kids Spike. I don’t have kids of my own, just Dawn, and her daughter and her grand daughter.”

“Never had kids of your own then?”

“No Spike.” Buffy kicked up her legs on to the couch and stretched out. “Did you pay that Shark demon thing the kittens you owed him?”

“Are you going to nag me about this until I do?”

“Spike if you don’t do it...you know what I don’t care...it’s your unlife and I thought the tweed was comical.”

“Beg pardon?”

“Nothing...” said Buffy sweetly.
__________________________________________
Buffy gloried in the delight of patrolling. Taking enjoyment of the simple pleasures of life was one of those statements that she would have easily applied to her feelings at that moment, except for the fact that she was hacking away a demon with tentacles. A purple demon with tentacles. She rather liked the colour actually, she used to have a top that colour.

Buffy cringed as a squirt of goo hit her chest. The insides of this demon were not the pretty purple colour.

“Ewwww” she whined.

Buffy gave one last kick to the now dead purple demon thingy and looked up to find her vampire. Spike was lounging on a tombstone, smoking a cigarette.

“You could have helped you know,” she complained.

“And get goo all over my coat?”

Buffy rolled her eyes then attempted to wipe off the goo on to the ground, but failed, just spreading the goo further.

“I need a shower.” Buffy turned to head back home.

Spike fell into step with her.

“Spike, are you happy?” she asked looking at her feet.

“What makes you ask that Pet?”

“I want you to be happy, so I want to know. Cause if you aren’t, I need to know.”

“Why wouldn’t I be happy?”

“See you aren’t actually answering the question.”

“Aside from the overly exuberant slayers in the morning, I’m a relatively content Vampire. I’ve got my girl...” Spike reached over and squeezed her hand, “I’ve got blood in the fridge, it’s pig’s blood, but you can’t have everything, and I’ve got a nice place to crash, with a slayer in my bed.”

Buffy leaned in closer to him and moaned. “Naked Slayer?”

“The best kind,” said Spike planting a kiss on her nose. “The kind that has her own teeth still.”

Buffy giggled.

“Hey I haven’t actually mentioned my teeth for a while.”

Spike smiled and kissed her hand.

“I want to take you out.”

“Like on a date?”

“If your fancy turns to calling it that then yes,”

“Then I accept,” she said with a huge smile on her face.
__________________________________________
Buffy arrived home in the best of moods. She was happy Buffy. She met Xander in the dining room and gave her friend a huge hug.

Xander was startled. “What’s up Buff?” asked Xander perplexed.

Buffy then noticed Tara sitting at the dining room table, and went to hug her too.

“Spike’s taking me out for a date!” she gushed.

The two Scoobies looked at each other oddly.

“Hey, there will be no disapproving looks! I love Spike, and he’s taking me out, it will be fun! fun! fun!”

“Buffy are you sure that you want to be involved with Spike?” asked Xander.

“Huh? Is this an intervention? I’ve had a couple of those, when we were thirty Dawn intervened and told me I could no longer wear my favourite top, I was too old to be wearing something that cool.”

“I just think that maybe this isn’t the best relationship for you to be in...” said Xander. “He doesn’t have a soul.”

“Oh pish, soul shmoul. He doesn’t need a soul, it just made him a crazy... TMI right there. Look I know you think that you are looking out for me, but I can take care of myself. Have been for a good long time. Question though, why did it take you so long to speak up about this?”

“Well I would have said something, but every time I got the chance, Anya would hit me.”

“Maybe she’s trying to tell you something. Look Xander, Spike makes me happy. You don’t know all the things that I do. I know he’s a good man.”

“He’s a vampire Buffy! You are the Vampire Slayer!”

“Yes, Xander thanks for clarifying that.”

“Buffy...”

“No, Xander you can’t talk me out of this. I’ve been miserable far too long to give him up now, you can’t make me do it. I love him, I’ve loved him for a hundred years, even though he’s been dust. Me being with him now, that isn’t the chance you pass up. How would you feel if Anya died and you were left to live on knowing that you loved her and that you never got the chance to tell her?”

Buffy looked at Xander harshly. She knew the answer to that question. She had seen Xander struggle just like she had after Spike had closed the hellmouth. Anya had died in the battle and Xander hadn’t even been there to say good bye like she had.

“If you knew the future and that the person you loved was going to die, wouldn’t you want to spend as much time with them as possible?”

Xander was looking sheepish now. Tara, who had been sitting calmly at the table had a huge smile on her face.

“Wow, that was a downer,” said Buffy suddenly, “Spike!” Buffy called.

“You yelled pet?” Spike asked coming from upstairs.

“I’m all serious now, tell me about our date?” she asked sweetly.

Spike shook his head and chuckled.

“I’m going out on a date with Spike!” Buffy giggled.
__________________________________________

Tabula Rasa - Tuesday

Buffy smiled and hugged her vampire pillow closer to her. She liked waking up beside her vampire, her gambling vampire. Buffy frowned. Today. Today in her memory Willow would do that Spell.

Buffy had been watching Willow pretty carefully since their almost talk and she hadn’t seen anything to make her worry, but that didn’t mean the worry didn’t exist. Buffy had to admit that she had been slightly caught up in the ‘I’m 20 again thing’ and not really paying a lot of attention to Willow. There was just so much she wanted to get over with; making Giles feel needed so he would stay, making Dawn feel loved, spend time with Spike. She had lots to do but it seemed unfair that Willow’s problems had taken a back seat.

Buffy groaned and stretched. Maybe she could stay in bed forever and Spike could stay with her. She was sure she could find ways to occupy her time.

Buffy planted a kiss on Spike’s chest.

A hundred and two years ago she had been avoiding him for a week. Now she had spent a week in his arms, with him in her bed. This time it would go better, she was determined.

“Must get up,” she said thinking that if she vocalised what she needed to do, her body would comply.
__________________________________________
Twenty minutes later Buffy was dressed and down stairs eating cereal straight out of the box.

“Classy,” noted Dawn as she stomped into the room.

Buffy shrugged her shoulders.

“Willow and Tara had a fight last night,” said Dawn. “Tara thinks Willow has been using too much magic.”

“Crap,” said Buffy.

“You aren’t going to yell at me for eavesdropping?”

“No, you are like my own personal National Enquirer.”

Dawn smiled.

“This is a problem.” Buffy thought for a moment then took out a pen and paper from the junk drawer. She scribbled something and handed it to Dawn. “Carry this with you all day.”

Dawn looked at what was written and frowned.

“Why?”

“Cause it will make our lives easier?”

“Cryptic much?”

“I try.”
__________________________________________
Buffy bounded up the stairs. Tara was already dressed and ready to do, Willow was just getting out of the shower. Buffy could tell that Tara was fuming, not that she blamed her. Buffy smiled sweetly at Tara and waited for Willow to emerge from the bathroom.

“Wills”

Willow jumped. She hadn’t been expecting Buffy just then and now.

“Wills we have to talk.”

“I’m kinda behind, everyone’s already ready.”

“Look I just want to tell you that I know you and Tara are fighting right now, but I know you two will work everything out.”

“Everything is fine Buffy, we have issues but we’re fine.”

“I’d like it to stay that way. Just please don’t do anything that you’ll regret later.”

“Spells. You are going to talk to me about spells again aren’t you?”

“Kinda.”

“I really don’t want to hear it Buffy. I’m not doing anything wrong.”

“I don’t want you to end up hurting yourself and others, Wills.”

“I really need to get dressed Buffy.”

Buffy sighed and left the room. Another failed talk. Buffy trudged down the stairs. If anything, Buffy had given her friend more reason to do that spell.
__________________________________________
Buffy was sitting on the ladder to the second level of books listening to Giles babble about the First Evil. She knew it all already, that wasn’t why she was here. She was here because any second now Spike was going to come in wearing tweed and a hunter’s cap.

Buffy was looking to intently at the door that she missed the arrival of Spike, who had come through the basement.

“Whatcha lookin’ at?” he asked.

“Hey! No Tweed!” she said surprised. “You paid Sharky!”

“I thought I’d better considering all the cryptic yammering you’ve been spouting lately.”

Buffy smiled.

“Aw, now I don’t get to see the tweed,” she pouted, sticking her lip out.

“Look at that lip...”

Giles cleared his throat before Spike could kiss her.

“Sorry Giles, didn’t mean to get all mushy...Please continue.” Buffy hopped down off the ladder and leaned in against Spike.

Then she started to feel woozy.
__________________________________________
When she awoke she had the curious sensation that she didn’t belong here. She rubbed her head and looked around. She was lying on top of a very sexy blonde man. She got up and noticed that she was in a store, a wacky new age magic type store and there were people around her.

She stretched, as the people around her started to greet each other. She didn’t know who any of them were, but she really liked the hottie she had woken up on. As she stretched she felt something scratchy in her bra. Without any modesty she reached into her bra and pulled out a piece of paper.

“Who, who are you people?” asked a brunette teen sitting on the floor and looking scared.

She knelt down beside the girl and placed a hand on her knee.

“Don't worry,” she said.

“Please don't hurt me!”

“Oh, it's okay. I don't know anyone here either.”

“Yeah? Who are you?”

“I, uh....” Her attention returned to the piece of paper in her hands. Slowly she began to unfold it.

“Okay, who are you freaks?” yelled one of the men, not her hottie.

She began to read.

Your name is Buffy Anne Summers, you are 20 years old. You live at 1630 Revello drive. Right now you are in The Magic Box, a store that sells Magic paraphernalia. The Brunette teen is your sister Dawn Summers. The bleach blonde man is Spike. He’s your boyfriend and you love him and you live together. His real name is William Darlington, only use it if you have to...he doesn’t like it much. You are super strong so don’t get confused when you can pummel vampires. VAMPIRES ARE REAL. Spike is a vampire, but he’s a good vampire and you love him. The blonde girl with the sweet face is Tara, girlfriend of Willow, the red head. The Brunette male is Xander, fiancé of Anya, the other girl in the shop (she should be behind the counter) and the older man is Rupert Giles (you call him Giles) he owns the store. You lost your memory because of a spell that Willow cast. The Spell will centre on a stone or talisman, the focal point on which the spell is centred. FIND the talsiman and destroy it and your memories will go back to normal.

Buffy’s eyes went wide as she looked at all the people in the room.

“Okay, why was I on the ground? And why are you all staring at me? Is this some kind of psych test? Am I getting paid for this?” yelled Xander.

“It's not just you. Does anyone remember anything?”

Buffy shook her head along with everyone else.

“Nope,” said Spike, Buffy’s hottie.

“Well, maybe we all got ... terribly drunk and this is some sort of, uh, blackout.” offered Giles, smiling.

“I don't think I drink.” said Dawn.

“I-I don't see any booze. I don't feel any head bumps. I don't see Allen Funt.” added Anya.

“Who?” asked Giles.

“Okay. I'm not panicking. I'm not. I'm not.” said Xander panicking. “Stop looking at me like I'm panicking!”

“Hey, hey, take it easy, Xander. Okay, no one's hurt, right? And, and none of us look all hatchety-murdery, so ... we're probably safe. Here....“ Buffy looked down at her piece of paper, “At the Magic Box.”

“Is that my name? Xander? How do you know my name?”

Buffy held up the piece of paper. “It looks like I knew this was going to happen.” Buffy handed over the paper to Giles.

“Hey!” said Dawn, “I have a paper too!”

Dawn held up a similarly folded paper and started to read.

You are Dawn Eleanor Summers, you are 15 and live at 1630 Revello drive with your sister Buffy, her live in boyfriend, Spike, Willow, best friend of Buffy and Tara, girlfriend of Willow.

“How come I didn’t get as much detail as you?” whined Dawn.

“I think the important thing is to get our memories back,” said Giles.

“Willow?” Buffy asked the red head.

“Oooh that’s me! It says so on my ID.” Willow proudly displayed her newly found ID.

“Do you have a stone or a medal or something in your pockets?” asked Buffy.

Willow searched.

“Ooh I have this black crystal thing.”

Willow handed it over to Buffy.

“What you doing pet?” asked Spike.

“Fixing us, Spike.”

“Spike? Is that my name? Bloody brilliant that...And I seem to be British...Bugger.”

“Well according to the note, your real name is William Darlington.”

Buffy watched his cocky smile drop from his face.

“But I love you anyway.”

Buffy planted a kiss on his cheek, the dropped the crystal on the ground, raised her foot and smashed it.
__________________________________________
Everyone stared at Willow. For a moment it looked like she was going to cry. Buffy knew that by the end of the night, Willow would be crying. Tara was going to move out. Maybe not today but she knew that Willow was going to be given an ultimatum.

“I just didn’t want anyone to be mad at me anymore. For using magic,” explained Willow.

“So you went right ahead and did a spell!” said Tara.

“I’m a witch it’s what I do!”

“Hey, that’s unfair. Just because you have power doesn’t mean you have to use it!” said Dawn. “Spike is all grr and he doesn’t kill people.”

“Cause he has the chip,” explained Willow.

“Are you saying that we need a chip for you?” asked Anya.

Everyone turned to look at the ex demon.

“What?”

Xander grabbed Anya’s hand. “You don’t have to express every thought you have honey.”

Buffy rolled her eyes. Now Xander was patronizing Anya.

“I’m going on patrol, and then I’m going home,” said Buffy.

“Just a minute Buffy,” said Giles walking towards her. “You knew that Willow was going to do the spell and you didn’t do anything about it.”

“Excuse me? I wrote notes. I didn’t know she was going to do it, I had a hunch.”

“You didn’t stop her.”

“No Giles, not this time...” Buffy turned to leave the shop, only to see someone else enter.

A very dashing young man in a tailored suit and briefcase walked into the room.

“Can I help you?” asked Giles.

Buffy gulped, she had recognised the man. Crap! she thought. She felt the blood drain out of her face.

“Everything ok pet?” asked Spike, coming up behind her.

“Ya, I’m just gonna go.” Buffy turned and made to go out through the back door.

“I’m here to speak with Miss Summers, actually,” said the man.

Buffy smacked her head with her hand and turned around.

“So the council sent you, to deal with my blackmail then?” asked Buffy sweetly.

“Do you know this wanker Slayer?” asked Spike.

“I do...urg... bad phrase. Ok Nate, hit me up with it, what did Mr I’m so mighty in my Tweed Travers have to say.”

“I’m afraid that you have me at a disadvantage Miss Summers,” said Nate moving closer towards her. “I am here to negotiate your salary.”

“Excuse me?” spat Giles.

“Perhaps we can discuss this in the other room,” said Buffy sweetly.

Nate nodded and walked in the direction of the training room, like he knew where to go.

Buffy started to follow, but was held back by Spike.

“Just how do you know him?” asked the Vampire as soon as the watcher was out of the room.

“He’s my first husband.”
__________________________________________Doctor Buffy

“He’s your what pet?“

Buffy rolled her eyes.

“I married him, ok, it lasted for 6 months,” said Buffy avoiding.

“You married that wanker?”

“Yes I did, I’m a sucker for an accent. He’s a very nice man.”

“Then why didn’t you stay married to him?” asked Xander.

“He wasn’t Spike.”
__________________________________________
Nate was charming, Nate was gracious and all of those things that Buffy had loved about him. He had made her happy for a year, three months dating, 3 months engaged and 6 months married, and for that she was grateful. Now he was here and was making Spike jealous.

“The terms of your salary are thus, you will continue your duties as Chosen One, following the orders of the Watcher assigned to you. You will also sign a confidentiality agreement for the duration of your life, in regards to any information you learn about the workings of the Council. This document will also clarify the right to information between yourself and the council.”

“I can agree to those terms. What else Nate?”

“The council would wish for you to send your own status reports along with those of your watcher, monthly.”

“Hmmm, I don’t know about that, Buffy and books, unmixy things,” she lied.

Nate laughed, “Perhaps, but it is felt that the council have been out of touch with the slayers...”

“That much is true, so what do I get with my fab salary? Dental? Cause I‘m gonna need dental, dentures aren‘t cheap.”

Nate laughed. Buffy remembered liking his laugh. It was really too bad that he hadn’t met her yet. They would have so much to talk about, like that time two weeks after their honeymoon that Dawn arrived unannounced and had walked in on naked breakfast, at 4 pm.

Ahh... the memories. Buffy shook her head bringing herself back to reality. She loved Spike. Lots and lots. There was no room for Nate, and a relationship that she knew wouldn’t work.
__________________________________________
Spike was livid. By the time she and Nate had finished their conference, Spike had smoked at least a pack of cigarettes and had begun to wear a hole in the floor.

“So do I need to dress up for this date?” asked Buffy.

“Sure you don’t want to cancel and spend it with your hubby?”

“Geez Spike, I’m not interested in him. What part of divorced don’t you understand?”

There was a long pause.

“So do I need to dress up for this date?” asked Buffy again.

“It’s up to you pet,”

“Can you tell me where we are going?”

“It’ll be a surprise.”
__________________________________________
Spike drove them out to the beach. The same beach that she had taken him to via video camera not too long ago. Out on the sand was a blanket and candles and...Food! This vampire certainly knew the way to this girl’s heart.

Buffy smiled at her vampire. He could be so sweet.

Spike led her from the car and to the blanket. He had strawberries and chocolate sauce waiting. Buffy sat with light from the assorted candles flickering in the gentle breeze. Yes it was November, and she was a little chilled, but he had put so much effort she didn’t want to ruin it by saying it was too cold to be on the beach.

“This is so beautiful. Spike? When did you have time to set this up?”

“Had Clem do it, he owes me a tabby or two.”

Buffy laughed. The Master Vampire had contracted out.

“I will never understand what’s up with demons and kittens.”

“You aren’t meant you understand pet, it’s a demon thing,” said Spike pouring her a glass of sparkling grapefruit juice, which she liked and was surprised that he knew that about her.

“What if I want to understand?”

“Understand what?”

“You, all about you. William, Spike, the whole mixed up and tragic life that is you.”

“I thought you obsessed about me for ages and found out everything you could about me.”

“Maybe I did, but that still doesn’t mean that I understand you.”

__________________________________________

Buffy was sitting at the table in the magic box, diligently writing on her cards. She had woken up relaxed and pleased with her self. She had thoroughly enjoyed her date with Spike. Willow and Tara hadn’t any classes this morning, but she so desperately wanted to get out of the house, what with the silent treatment the two witches were giving each other. The house of no talking. It was scary.

“Buffy, your work, it sounds utterly fascinating. I would be honoured if perhaps when you had time, we could discuss your research,” said Giles, who had just finished proof reading her introduction.

“Absolutely Giles, how’s now? I have time.”

At that point Spike walked in with a blanket on his head.

“Ooh goody, an audience!” said Buffy.

“Audience for what?” asked the vampire.

“Giles wants a brief overview of the Doctoral thesis of Dr Buffy Anne Summers.”

Spike smiled and leaned back on the counter. “Should be interesting.”

“Well I think it is anyway. Oooh I feel excited. I haven’t taught since, well it’s got to be like 40 years or something. I feel like I need a pointer, is there something I can point with?” Buffy looked around the room.

“Will a broom do love?”

Buffy scrunched up her nose. “Too big...ooh I know!” Buffy raced into the training room and got a long thin fencing foil out of the weapons trunk. Buffy rushed back into the main room.

Buffy paused for a moment and then looked at her two audience members. “Of course I have nothing to point at...” she mumbled.

“Can Vampires feel? Of course you say, how many of us have seen a vampire clutch his chest in pain as you stake him. But that isn’t the kind of feeling I’m talking about. Can Vampires love? Can they express the same feelings towards family and loved ones. I postulate that they can, and I’ve seen the proof.”

Buffy winked at Spike.

“Regardless of the fact that most vampires are soulless, the vampire who belongs to a cohesive family unit, such as the Aurelius line, have bonded with the other members of their families, experiencing the same feelings that human families have. Jealousy, love, loyalty, these are all emotions that are experienced by vampires.”

Buffy paused again. “You can tell I’ve done this before can’t you?”

She continued.

“Familial bond is transmitted through blood. As a very wise vampire once said to me, ‘'Cause it's always got to be blood.’ The bond is begun with the first bite. There are three distinct types of vampire bite. To Feed or kill, which scars the victim, should the victim live. To Mark, with the intent on turning the victim, and To Claim. To Mark or To Claim a person is a very important rite, sacred in the eyes of other vampires. On a physical level a bite to Mark and a bite to Claim appear very similar. For example I was bitten by Dracula, To Mark, with the intent of turning. This was placed over my To Feed bite given by Angel and therefore the older scar has completely disappeared. It is impossible to tell the difference between Claim and the Mark. Spike’s scar, a Claim scar is indistinguishable from my Mark scar.”

Spike raised his hand.

“Uh, pet, I’m sorry about interrupting your lovely yammering, but I’m not Claimed. This is a Mark scar.”

Buffy frowned.

“You weren’t Claimed by Drusilla?”

“Nope, always belonged to her daddy she did.”

“Then why didn’t you... I mean you had opportunity...” Buffy trailed off

“What’s that pet?”

“Why didn’t you Claim me?” she asked sadly.

“We’ve been together for a week Pet.”

“No I mean before, the first time...arg! You don’t remember, it hasn’t happened for you and it won’t happen now... Are you thinking about Claiming me?”

“Don’t really think that this is something we should be discussing in front of the watcher pet.”

Buffy smiled. “You are right.”

She continued, “The mechanics of the Claim and Mark bite are the same.” Buffy walked over to Spike and stood him up. “Game face please,” she asked.

Spike complied.

“The bite to Mark or to Claim is always done on the neck, any bite anywhere else on the body is considered a To Feed bite. To Mark the vampire does not need permission, just like the To Feed bite, the bite is placed on the neck. No special words need be said, however if the victim is to be made Childer, the vampire will then say the Sire/Childe oath according to the traditions of their line. Go ahead Spike.”

“Huh?”

“What’ s the Aurelius Sire/Childe oath?” she asked with a smile on her face.

“You already know it, can tell by the twinkle in your eye, so why do I have to say it?”

“Because you are my special guest, my audio visual. Please.”

Spike rolled his eyes.

“You will be my childe,” he said matter of factly, “and I will be your sire, teach you the ways of our line and add glory to the name Aurelius.”

“Just how did you learn of this Sire/Childe oath Buffy?” asked Giles.

“I did some field research for a few years, also I ran in to Drusilla, you’ll be happy to know that she is still mad as a hatter.”

“How did you get her to tell you?” asked Giles.

“Oh, there was a spell involved, made her think I was Darla giving her a quiz. It was good times. To continue, the oath is only needed if the intended victim is not to be turned right away. Now we get to the good stuff. The To Claim bite. Usually done during sex, bonds the two beings performing the ritual forever in a kind of vampire marriage, if the Claim is reciprocated. The To Claim bite is always accompanied by the ritual words, Mine, Yours and Forever. I could demonstrate?” said Buffy hopefully.

“Please,” said Giles fascinated.

“Yay!” Buffy put down her pointer and walked towards Spike.

“What are you going to do Slayer?” Spike asked with trepidation.

Buffy smiled. She placed her hands on either side of his head and kissed him chastely on the lips.

“I love you,” she said sweetly and then tilted his head.

Before either of the men knew what had happened, Buffy bit down on Spike’s neck.

“Mine,” she stated, and then started licking the wound she had made.

“Yours” came Spike’s breathless response.

Buffy felt Spike’s fingers grip her tighter, then she felt his fangs pierce her skin. Buffy’s eyes rolled back into her head from the glorious feeling of it all. She wanted this. She had wanted this for such a long time. She loved him and in that instant, with his fangs in her throat, she knew that he loved her too.

Buffy noticed that Giles had finally realised what was happening and got up out of his chair.

“Don’t you dare stake him, Giles,” Buffy threatened.

“Mine” roared Spike.

“Yours” agreed Buffy.

Buffy felt Spike lick the wounds on her neck. Buffy felt a surge of something pass through her body.

“Forever” they both uttered.

After a few moments they broke away from each other.

“Geez, that lecture got outta hand, didn’t it?” said Buffy as she sat down out of breath. “Congratulate me Giles, I just got married!”

“I don’t understand what just happened here,” said Giles a little stunned.

“What’s not to understand? I claimed Spike, Spike claimed me, I love him, He loves me, we’re a happy family,” Buffy sang. “Oh god, kill me now, I’m singing Barney songs
Not Happy Buffy

Buffy was on a high. Sure it had happened in an unconventional way, and in front of Giles, it was just too strange that her watcher had witnessed her Claiming. She was claimed and it made her happy. Sure Spike was husband # 7 on some level but honestly all the other guys, they were merely substitutions for the real thing. Spike was the real thing.

Spike wasn’t happy though. He was acting like she had tricked him, which to be fair she had. He had grabbed her hand and led her from the Magic box. Safely from the gaze of her watcher, and standing in the middle of Restfield Cemetery, Spike had started to pace. Oh he was mad.

“What the hell was that Buffy!”

Oooh, use of her given name... not of the good.

“I got carried away?”

“You got carried away with something you knew and even said was sacred among vampires?”

Buffy looked down at her hands. She felt bad, it was supposed to be something special and she had ruined it.

“I’m sorry. I just...Nate was here and you were all jealous, and I got carried away. I just wanted it.”

Spike exhaled. “In front of the bloody watcher!”

“You didn’t have to claim me back you know. It wouldn’t have meant anything if you hadn’t. I’m just human...”

Spike reached over and took her hands.

“It bloody well does mean something Buffy. You claimed me! I love you, how could I not claim you back?”

Buffy smiled.

“I’m sorry it wasn’t it private and intimate like you expected. I know this must be a big deal for you...”

“You’re bloody right it’s a big deal.”

His eyes were pouring into her soul, she could feel just how much he loved her in that moment. Buffy leaned in and kissed him, her tongue begging for entrance to his mouth.

“I love you, you know,” she whispered.

“I know,” he sighed, “and that will never change Buffy. What’s got me so bloody mad is that you don’t want to take my feelings and wishes into consideration. You just go on your merry way making decisions for me. You think you know what I want, because your Spike did things... I’m not him.”

“You are him! You, him, I love you Spike. I want us to be together. I’m sorry I did it that way. It was a bad choice, I admit it!”

“Admitting it isn’t the same as doing something about it.”

“What do you want me to do? You can’t take back a Claim Spike, you know that!” Buffy suddenly got really quiet. “Do you want to take it back?”

“No, I don’t want to take it back. I just didn’t want it to happen like it did.”

Spike walked away from her.

“Where are you going?” she asked with a sad lilt to her voice.

“Away, I have to be away.”

“When will you be back?” Tears were forming now at the corner of her eyes.

“Don’t know Slayer.”

“What do you mean you don’t know?”

“I don’t know.”

Buffy was left in the cemetery by herself, wondering when she would see her mate again.

For the first time in a week Buffy went to bed completely miserable.
__________________________________________
Buffy woke up alone and miserable. She had no vampire pillow, no Spike arms around her. Sad and dejected Buffy forced herself up out of her bed and into the shower.

Twenty minutes later Buffy was down stairs, eating cereal out of the box... again.

“Are you going to do this every morning?” asked Dawn.

Buffy just shrugged.

“ Nate wants you to call him,” said Dawn getting out a bowl and some milk.

“Ok,” Buffy sighed.

“What happened to happy Buffy?”

“She got into a fight with Spike, now she’s sad and sulking Buffy.”

“You guys had a fight? Geez, first Willow and Tara and now you and Spike?”

Buffy sniffled.

“Where is Spike anyway?”

“Don’t know.”

“You don’t know?”

“He’s probably getting pissed as we speak.”

“At 8 am?”

“Ok, he’s probably already pissed and is passed out in an alley.”

“Actually he’s in the basement,” said Tara, coming up with a load of laundry. “I had a clean shirt emergency.”

Buffy left her cereal on the counter and jumped off her stool.

“Buffy, leave him alone,” said Tara softly. “He needs to work this out for himself.”

“But...” Buffy tried to get past the witch.

“No,” said Tara stopping her. “There is nothing you could say that would make this better.”

“What did you do?” asked Dawn.

Buffy looked between her sister and her friend. The weak hold she had on her tears was wavering.

“I..I didn’t think... I was wrong...”

“What did you do?” asked Dawn more seriously.

Buffy couldn’t help it, the tears were flowing now. All she wanted was to curl up in a ball and pretend everything was ok. But it wasn’t. She had come back in time, tried to set things right, and it had all blown up in her face. Willow was still on the path to becoming veiny and black haired and in one action she had made Spike feel worthless. She had screwed up. Buffy just stood in the middle of the kitchen and cried, loudly.

Willow came racing down the stairs.

“Buffy?”

Buffy let herself be caught up in Willow’s arms.

Then the front door opened.

“Where is she?” asked Anya’s voice.

Anya strode into the kitchen with determination. Oblivious to the fact that Buffy was sobbing in Willow’s arms, Anya said what she came to say.

“You went and Claimed Spike, when you knew that you were supposed to be my MAID of honour Buffy! Now I’m going to have to change the program to MATRON of honour! Do you know how inconsiderate that is?”

Buffy laughed while she sobbed, resulting in a sort of ‘hic’ noise.

“I wouldn’t be worried Anya, it seems that he wants a divorce, he won‘t talk to me,” sniffled Buffy.

“You can’t get unclaimed Buffy! You know that as well as I do!”

“I don’t want to end it Anya!” Buffy yelled. “I love him!”

Willow let go of Buffy and rubbed her ear.

“What the hell is going on? What’s a claim?” asked Dawn.

“Vampire marriage. Your sister got married last night,” said Anya annoyed.

“What!” yelled Dawn. “You got married and I wasn’t there to see it?”

“Giles saw it, and now Spike’s mad,” added Anya. “It was supposed to be private.”

“That’s why Spike’s mad? Cause you got married? I don’t get it,” said Dawn.

“Please stop saying that word. I’m not married, really. If you get married you can get a divorce. I’m claimed,“ stated Buffy. “He’s mad cause I tricked him into it.”

“Huh?”

The phone rang, which Tara picked up.

“Buffy? It’s for you, it’s Nathaniel Bradford?”

Buffy shook her head. “Nope, can’t talk to him right now. Tell him I’m sick, or in the shower or something.” Buffy took off up the stairs.

Buffy launched herself on to her bed, their bed and grabbed Mr Gordo.

“Buffy?”

Buffy looked up and saw Willow in the doorway. Buffy wiped her eyes and sat up, making room on the bed for Willow to sit.

“I didn’t even ask him Willow. He told me I was taking advantage of him, and he’s right. I didn’t consider his feelings or wishes. I just charged ahead like I usually do. We’ve only been together a week here Willow. I didn’t think of that! All I was thinking about was how we had an abusive relationship and how I broke his heart and how I wanted to make everything ok. I screwed up my second chance Willow.”

Willow hugged her friend again. “Oh Buffy it’s not that bad. Spike loves you. I can see it in the way he talks about you, how he looks at you. You are his soul Buffy. Sure you are impulsive and sometimes you act without thinking...but we all do that from time to time, I’m sure he has. And after he has a good long think, you’ll make up and everything will be Happy Buffy land again.”

“I’m not so sure about that Willow,” sniffled Buffy.

“Well I’m surely sure. Hundred percent.” Willow smiled, “How about I get you some coffee?”

Buffy nodded.

“Thanks Wills.”

Buffy rose from the bed and shuffled to her mirror, to assess the puffiness of her eyes.

“You know, it’s impossible for a bloke to get any kind of shut eye in this house with you bints screaming.”

Buffy’s eyes went wide and she stared into the mirror for a few seconds before turning to face the speaker. Spike was standing in the doorway, his hair mussed, and his shirt untucked.

“Also the cot in the basement, right uncomfortable.”

Buffy tried to say something, but each time she opened her mouth nothing would come out. Taking the initiative, Spike crossed to the mirror, took Buffy’s hand and led her back to her bed. Spike sat down on the edge, and pulled her into his lap.

“Spike...” she started.

“No,” he said putting a finger to her lips, silencing her. “I need to say some things and you need to listen.”

Buffy nodded.

“I’ve loved you for a good long time long before Soldier Boy left the picture, and I haven’t always gone about declaring that in the most appropriate ways. I look at the world through different eyes than you, the eyes of a vampire that was fledged by the most traditionalist of lines, and the eyes of a poncy Victorian gentleman. What you did, it upset both William and Spike, William ’cause it’s him that’s supposed to ask the girl, and Spike ’cause you did it as a bloody demonstration for the good of your watcher. I’ve dreamed of being able to call you mine, and you acted like it was a joke.”

“No, not a joke!” she whimpered. “Never a joke.”

“ It wasn’t special, it was common. It was the vampire equivalent of getting married by an Elvis impersonator in Vegas.”

Buffy wrinkled her nose.

“Last night I had to get away from you to think, ‘cause when I’m with you, I can’t think straight. Red was right, you are my soul, but you are so much more than that. You are the reason. The reason for everything. I don’t want to find out what the world is like without you in it...again.”

Buffy smiled. “And you won’t ever find out, if I can help it.”
__________________________________________
Buffy stepped out of the shower, for the second time that day to hear the phone ring. Spike was sleeping, it was vamp bedtime after all, and after all the making up that they had just finished...he deserved to sleep. Buffy clasped her towel tighter and went in search of the phone.

“Hello?” she asked, padding through the living room with the portable phone, clad in her towel and slippers.

“Ah, Miss Summers...I’m glad I caught you. I am calling to arrange a time for you to sign your contract, I’ve negotiated the terms you wanted changed and I think you will be pleased with the concessions that the Council has made.”

“Concessions? Nate, I don’t think that’s a word I like very much...”

“Will you be able to review the newly drafted contract, this evening, say over dinner?”

Warning bells started going off in Buffy’s head.

“I don’t think dinner would be appropriate Nate, could we meet at the Magic box, say at 8pm?”

“Very well, Miss Summers.”

Buffy could hear the disappointment in his voice. She knew that sound well. It was so similar to his resigned ‘If that is what would make you happy Buffy,’ he said when she asked him for a divorce.

“Great!” she said trying to be up beat.

Buffy hung up the phone and returned to her sleeping vampire. Buffy crawled back under the covers and snuggled closer. She had almost lost him, because she was foolish and inconsiderate and far too eager to show off in front of Giles. She wouldn’t make that mistake again. Buffy nuzzled his neck and licked her mark on his neck, instantly getting a reaction. Round two was about to begin.
__________________________________________
Buffy pulled Spike into the Magic Box, ten minutes after eight. Spike hadn’t wanted to come. The idea of being cooped up in the store while Buffy talked with her ex was excruciatingly painful for him, but Buffy had insisted. She was safer from Nate if Spike was there. It wasn’t that she was afraid for herself. She loved Spike, but she didn’t want him getting upset or misunderstanding anything right now...they had just made up, and she wanted to keep them happy.

Giles and Nate were discussing something terribly important at the counter. Very Watcher like.

“Ahh, Miss Summers...” began Nate.

Buffy hated that. One of the things she had put on her list of things that annoyed her about her first husband, he always said ‘ahhh,’ like a doctor was sticking a tongue depressor down his throat.

“I’m here, Spike’s here, let’s get down to business.” Buffy sat down at the table with a thump.

“I’ve read the new contract Buffy and there are things in there that I just cannot possibly agree to,” said Giles, who took off his glasses and started wiping them.

“You must forgive me Mr Giles, but it is Miss Summers who will be signing the contract, not yourself,” said Nate.

“Well? Can I see it?” asked Buffy.

She wanted to get out of there as soon as possible. Spike already looked like he wanted to rip Nate’s head off.

“Ahh yes, here it is.” Nate handed her a paper.

Buffy perused the contract silently, until she reached a clause that had not been in the previous draft.

“No, absolutely not!” she said livid.

“I most certainly agree,” said Giles.

“Hold on? You agree?” Buffy was flabbergasted. “We are talking about the same thing, right, that little bit in the middle of the page.”

“What are you going on about woman?” asked Spike.

“Yes Buffy I agree,” said Giles sitting down. on the counter.

Buffy’s face lit up in a smile.

“Yay!” Buffy clapped and ran to hug her watcher.

“Bloody buggering gits!” cursed Spike. He had picked up the copy of the contract that Buffy had left on the table. “You can’t force the slayer to stop seeing me you blasted prick!” Spike crumpled up the contract and threw it in Nate’s face.

“The council is concerned that The Slayer’s propensity for romantic attachments to Vampires will not only degrade the image of the council and The Slayer but will ultimately endanger the world,” said Nate trying to uncrumple the paper Spike had tossed in his face.

“Well I won’t sign anything that has something like that written in it. The council doesn’t have that kind of power.”

“If you wish to be paid by the council you will sign a contract.”

“If you wish me to keep secret any of the nasty little tid bits I have in my head that the council doesn’t want published to the demon world or say...Wolfram and Hart...then I think that you will think again.”
__________________________________________
Nate had gone, back to his hotel, and to call the council to redraft the contract once again, leaving Giles, Spike and Buffy alone in the shop.

“Thanks for the support, watcher,” mumbled Spike.

“Don’t let it go to your head. It’s the principle of the thing.”

Buffy beamed.

“You can be all manly and British about it Giles if you want. Thank you,” said Buffy, giving her watcher a hug again.
__________________________________________
For those of you keeping track:

Buffy’s List of Things To Do Now That I’m NOT an Old Crone

1. Go to the Beach - work on tan, before the ozone layer completely evaporates - Take Dawn Done
2. Have sex with love of your life, as much as possible.
3. Eat junk food.Done
4. Shop, shop like there’s no tomorrow.
5. Bronze it up - Take Spike - Get Drunk - get the hang over of all hangovers Done
6. Visit Mom’s grave, if possible, look to move her out of Sunnydale.
7. Patrol, kick undead booty
8. Have talk with Willow about magic over use - possible prop, ice cream, chocolate chips and gummy bears.
9. Marriage counsel Xander and Anya (Pre marriage counsel?)
10. Put nerds in jail, possibly after diamond bust (note, what to do about Andrew?)
11. Have Giles start looking into the watcher’s diaries about the first evil - thus stopping the trip to England.
12. Get paid by watcher’s council. God knows they can afford it. Done
13. Find Cameras put up by nerds
14. De-rat Amy. Done
15. Find Rack and take him out. Done
16. Get that Double meat icky lady demon thing. Done
17. Girls night out with Willow.
__________________________________________
tbc...

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The Return of Happy Buffy

“So everything is alright with you and Spike?“ asked Anya.

Buffy looked up from her cards and book and smiled. “Ya, I think so, crisis averted anyway.”

“That’s good, but you have to promise me that if you decide to get married, you know, the human way, you will do it after my wedding.”

“Sure Anya.”

“Do you think he’ll ask you?”

“No, not really, maybe, I don’t know. I kinda screwed up the whole thing. I’m just glad he’s talking to me again and that the yelling has stopped.”

“So are you going to be Happy Buffy again?”

“I’m trying.”

The two women turned as they heard the bell on the door ring. Nate casually strode into the room.

“Ahh Miss Summers,” he greeted.

Buffy cringed. “Mr Bradford, what have you got for me today?”

Nate walked forward with a new version of the contract.

“Giles isn’t here so give the other copy to Anya to read, it’ll be fun!” said Buffy with a twinkle in her eye.

The shop was filled with silence as Buffy and Anya read the new contract.

“No,” said Buffy and Anya at the same time.

They both laughed and compared points at which they disagreed with the contract.

“You can’t put a clause in that states I have to blindly follow the council’s orders,” said Buffy.

“You could change it to ‘perform duties as advised by the council,’” offered Anya .

Nate made a note of it, and waited for the women to finish reading the contract.

“Couldn’t I have a bonus each time I avert the apocalypse?” asked Buffy. “I think that’s fair.”

Nate made some more notes. “I can discuss it with the council for you Miss Summers.”

Buffy smiled sweetly. “That’s great Nate, you’re a peach.”

“You weren’t one of the one’s that came when the whole Glory thing was happening, were you?” asked Anya.

“No,” said Nate. “I’m not lucky enough to be in Mr Travers group of advisors,”

“So you aren’t a real watcher then? Just a Lawyer?” Anya was blunt and caused the watcher to blush.

“Don’t worry about it, Nate. You’ll get to be a proper watcher soon. I know you will be right up there and on the Board of Elders sooner than you think,” offered Buffy sweetly.

“Why thank you Miss Summers.”

“You can call me Buffy, you know.”

“Buffy then.” Nate smiled. “I should have this sorted out by tea time, could we meet then?”

“We could have tea,” agreed Buffy. “Of course I will be bringing one of my friends to review the contract with me,” Buffy added.

Nate’s smile fell from his face. Buffy felt sorry for him. She had this feeling that he really liked her and that he just wanted to spend some alone time with her, but every time he saw her, she had friends around. Friends were a good buffer between her and her ex husband.
__________________________________________
“I want the wanker gone Slayer!”

Spike was mad, but this time not at her. Thank god.

“He’s just doing his job Spike.”

Spike had been standing in the training room of the Magic Box the entire time.

“He’s a bloody nancy boy who’s moving in on what’s mine!”

Spike had begun to pace the training room floor. Buffy smiled.

“You have nothing to worry about Spike!” she protested.

“He’s all ‘you want to come for tea’ and you are flirting back at him!”

Buffy rolled her eyes.

“He will be gone soon, Spike.”

“Not before the wanker tries to get into your pants.”

“Spike...”

“I won’t have him after what’s mine.”

“Say that again,” she said happily.

“You are mine,” he said staring into her green eyes and moving closer towards her.

He grabbed her shoulders and began to lick his mark on her neck.

“That’s right Spike, I am yours, and only yours, not Nathaniel Bradford’s or William Blakely’s or any of the other gits I married. I am yours.”

“Mine,” he said forcefully, as he sunk his fangs back into his mark.

“Yours,” she murmured.

The two lovers sunk to the training room floor, and Buffy prayed that everyone else had the sense to not disturb them.
__________________________________________

Tea time rolled around and Buffy and Anya walked into Sunnydale’s finest French restaurant. It was the same one that Wood had taken her to all those years ago, but she didn’t mention that. None of the Scoobies knew who Wood was...yet.

Nate was sitting at the table waiting for them, and Buffy saw his face light up when he saw her. She also could tell that he was pleased that she had brought Anya and not Spike or Giles. There was reason behind the madness of bringing Anya. Anya was a shrewd business woman, she understood Buffy’s plight and Spike would have ripped Nate’s head off.

“Ahh, Miss Summers and Miss Jenkins, delighted,” greeted Nate.

Buffy smiled and helped herself to a chair before Nate could pull one out for her.

“We can’t stay long,” said Buffy, “We have bridal stuff to do.”

“Yes, we can’t be wasting out time here, when I could be getting pampered and fawned over by my Maid of Honour,” said Anya.

Buffy smiled. She just wanted to hug the ex demon. She was so blunt and tactless. And she had finally convinced Anya that she wasn’t truly a Matron of Honour, as she hadn’t been married in a human wedding.

“Ahh, that is disappointing,” said Nate.

“Maybe for you, but I’m going to be sampling cake and picking out flowers.”

“Good times,” agreed Buffy. “Bring on the contract!”

Nate handed the women two copies of Buffy’s contract.

Buffy perused.

Anya perused.

Nate twiddled his thumbs.

Buffy tossed the paper down. “I can’t see anything wrong with it. Now that you’ve made the changes I’ve asked for. Get a copy to Giles, but the end of the night and I’ll sign it in the morning if he has no objections.”

Nate smiled. “I’m very glad to hear it. Won’t you ladies join me for desert perhaps, or a cup of coffee?”

“Hmmm, no,” said Buffy. “But you should try the brandies pears while you are here, they are to die for. You know I think I once said they were the best thing I’ve ever had in my mouth. I was lying of course, but they are up there, number two definitely.”

“What’s the best thing you’ve had in your mouth, Buffy?” asked Anya innocently.

“Spike.”
__________________________________________
Three hours later and completely sick of floral arrangements, Buffy found her lover at Willy’s hammered.

“Slayer! My Slayer, not watcher boy’s slayer, Mine!” slurred Spike.

Buffy rolled her eyes.

“Yes, yours all yours no one else’s,” agreed Buffy.

Spike smiled sloppily and almost fell off his stool as he tried to kiss her.

“Ok, Big Bad, it’s time for you to go home.” Buffy hoisted Spike up and nearly dragged him from the bar, thanking Willy for his patience and a promise to come beat him up for information soon.

Throwing Spike in the back seat of the Desoto (which Spike had driven there for some unknown reason, a reason that only he could possibly understand) and closing the door, Buffy made to settle herself behind the wheel.

“Oh no you don’t!” came an irritated voice from the passenger. “You won’t be driving my baby, anywhere. I know your track record woman!”

Spike attempted to move into the front seat part of the car, but was so inebriated that he couldn’t manage it and instead fell onto the floor of the car.

“Relax Spike, I know how to drive.”

“I will not relax! Slayer and cars are *hic* unmixy things.”

Buffy giggled and turned the key, bringing the engine to life.

There was a moan from the back seat.

“Spike, do you honestly think that in 102 years, I didn’t learn how to drive?”

Buffy put the car into drive and stepped on the gas.
__________________________________________
Buffy slammed her front door as soon as Spike had managed to get his sorry arse into the house. He was a terrible backseat driver, even when he couldn’t see anything (because of the paint on the windshield and the fact that he was lying on the floor of the car), and had been yelling at Buffy to “pull this contraption over before you run us into a bleedin’ tree woman!” Buffy had just rolled her eyes.

Now Spike had stumbled upstairs to be one with his bed, only to run into Dawn head first (cause he was watching his feet and not where he was going). The sound of Dawn shrieking and Spike giggling had brought Buffy out of the kitchen holding a can of whipped cream.

“Spike’s drunk,” stated Dawn.

“Naw...I didn’t noticed that when I picked him up off the floor in Willy’s or when he tried to use my breasts to steady himself, or how he thought he could drive nearly passed out on the floor of the Desoto.”

“Ewww, have you seen the garbage down there? Some of that stuff is old, like from the 80’s!”

“Ya, I know.”

“So what are you doing with the can of whipped cream?” asked Dawn curiously. “Are you making me hot chocolate?” she asked hopefully.

“Actually I thought I’d take advantage of Spike in his drunken state, and have wild sex with food.”

Dawn’s jaw hit the floor.

“Oh. My. God. TMI...T.M.I!!! Bad images are now forcing themselves on to my brain! Quick Dawn think of something else! Something else!”

“What?” asked Buffy innocently, holding the can of whipped cream as she watched her sister walk into the living room her fingers in her ears and talking very loudly to herself.

“Slayer! Get that loverly arse of yours up here!” slurred the drunken vampire.

Buffy smiled and shrugged, before squirting some of the dairy goodness into her mouth and proceeding up the stairs.
__________________________________________
For those of you keeping track:

Buffy’s List of Things To Do Now That I’m NOT an Old Crone

1. Go to the Beach - work on tan, before the ozone layer completely evaporates - Take Dawn Done
2. Have sex with love of your life, as much as possible.
3. Eat junk food.Done
4. Shop, shop like there’s no tomorrow.
5. Bronze it up - Take Spike - Get Drunk - get the hang over of all hangovers Done
6. Visit Mom’s grave, if possible, look to move her out of Sunnydale.
7. Patrol, kick undead booty
8. Have talk with Willow about magic over use - possible prop, ice cream, chocolate chips and gummy bears.
9. Marriage counsel Xander and Anya (Pre marriage counsel?)
10. Put nerds in jail, possibly after diamond bust (note, what to do about Andrew?)
11. Have Giles start looking into the watcher’s diaries about the first evil - thus stopping the trip to England.
12. Get paid by watcher’s council. God knows they can afford it. Done
13. Find Cameras put up by nerds
14. De-rat Amy. Done
15. Find Rack and take him out. Done
16. Get that Double meat icky lady demon thing. Done
17. Girls night out with Willow.
__________________________________________
tbc...

__________________________________________
Male Posturing

It was a beautiful Saturday morning, Buffy had decided. She and Dawn were going to spend more of Spike’s money and start Christmas shopping. It was November after all.

Buffy had been glad to see that Tara and Willow were acting normally to each other again. The house of no talking had suddenly become habitable again. Buffy wasn’t under any illusions though. Willow was on a thin thread where Tara and spells were concerned. Buffy was just glad that Amy hadn’t come back from the bonding with her dad.

Buffy bounced into the kitchen to see Willow making non magical pancakes.

“So Wills, you me, ice cream, gummy bears and Ever After?“ asked Buffy.

“Ever After? I haven’t seen that movie in a long time.“

“Good, then it’s a date! We are having best friend bonding tonight, after a quick patrol, you me and the gummies will tell all.“

“All?“

“Well, I reserve the right to refrain from answering on the grounds that you might not like the future.“

“Fair enough. But I want dirt! Spike related dirt.“

Buffy smiled.
__________________________________________
Dawn stood in front of s display of sunglasses, trying on different pairs.

“Do you really think you need another pair of sunglasses, don’t you have like 50?“

“I need just the right pair to wear at Janice's party next Saturday night!“

“You are wearing sunglasses at night, what? Are you Cory Hart now?“

“Who?”

Buffy groaned. Children!

“So you went out with Nate last night?” asked Dawn.

“For like twenty minutes. And with Anya. It’s not something to get beat up about. I can’t wait until he just leaves.”

“I can’t believe that Spike hasn’t eaten him yet, or at least tried to, cause you know, the chip.”

Buffy rolled her eyes.

“Spike wouldn’t eat Nate. He’s all bark but no bite,” Buffy giggled at her own joke.

Dawn groaned this time. “Don’t you wonder though what it would be like if say Angel or Riley showed up and you were all hot and heavy with Spike?”

“No Dawn I so don’t wonder about that!”

Buffy didn’t have to wonder about that at all, she had the not so pleasant memories. Memories that she felt she could learn from.

“Maybe I should bite the bullett and call them now, and tell them, that not only have I moved on from them both but that I’m married and to Spike, William the Bloody. Ya, that would go over well.”

“Are you and Spike gonna get like real married? Can I be your Maid of Honour?”

“Dawn...”

“What it’s a perfectly reasonable question.”

“It’s up to him Dawn, not me. If someday he asks, I’m certainly not going to turn him down.”

“When he asks then? Can I? Please?”

“Consider yourself hired. Come on, they are having a sale on Polident.”

“But Buffy you have your own teeth now, remember?”
__________________________________________
Buffy and Dawn returned to the Magic Box, overwhelmed by the amount of bags that they carried. However once Buffy was in the door, an eager Nate was there to take her bags from her.

“Miss Summers, allow me to help you,” he said after he took the bags.

“Uh, thanks I think.”

Dawn settled down at the table, and started flipping through one of the books Giles had left on the table. Nate put down the bags and began to go through his own papers, in search of the contract.

“Mr...ahh...Giles here has read the contract Miss Summers and has agreed that the terms as they now stand are acceptable.”

“I think I could have told her that myself you git,” muttered Giles, so that Nate couldn’t hear him.

Buffy could though and giggled. Buffy made her way to the ladder at the opposite end of the shop and sat down on the second rung.

“Alright, bring on the contract, I want to sign the thing so I can get my money. My sugar daddy doesn’t need me mooching off of him forever.”

Nate’s ears perked up at that.

“I beg your pardon Miss Summers?”

Buffy blushed. “I have a sugar daddy?”

Nate’s gaze fell to Giles and the younger watcher scowled. Following his gaze Buffy nearly gagged.

“Ewwwww! Not Giles!” Buffy made gross face.

Dawn audibly blanched. “Can I second that Ewww and raise you a three cringes and a lurg?”

“I don’t know, said Anya, “I don’t think Giles is a good example of the male of the human species, he is well proportioned and has a sexy dangerous quality about him.”

Giles cleared his throat.

”Oh of course I am still madly devoted to my Xander.”

“Nate?” asked Buffy bringing her ex husband back to reality, “Contract?”

“Ahh yes...” Nate handed her the contract and a pen.

“I will of course be reading the thing before I put my john handkerchief on it.”

“I think you mean John Hancock, love,” came Spike’s voice from the back entrance.

“Do you ever sleep when all the normal vampires are sleeping?” she asked.

“Not when this wanker is up and about,” said Spike motioning towards Nate.

“I beg your pardon!” demanded the younger watcher.

“You heard what I said,” Spike smirked. Spike walked closer to the watcher menacingly.

“Ooh a display of masculine posturing!” clapped Anya.

“Ya, it’s divine,” said Dawn. “I’m going home, I think I can come up with something better to do than watching Nate and Spike fight over Buffy.”

Buffy just rolled her eyes and kept reading. She trusted both Spike and Nate enough to not kill each other. Well not in her presence anyway.

“I am not inclined to respond politely or at all to a vampire who is merely a shadow of what he once was,” said Nate with a scowl.

Buffy looked up from her contract.

“Would ya like to find out just how much of a shadow I really am?”

“I know all about your incapacitating chip William the Bloody... You can’t possibly hurt me.” Nate took off his suit jacket and laid it down on the research table.

“Oh is this how it’s gonna be then? You’ll but down your rock and I’ll put down my sword and we’ll fight each other like civilized men?” Spike said the line with absolute seriousness.

Buffy nearly lost it. She had to support herself from rolling around on the floor laughing.

“Buffy you cannot possibly allow them to simply go at it like pair of bucks fighting over a doe?” said Giles.

“Why not? They seem to want to.”

“You aren’t fit to be in her presence, much less be in her circle of friends,” spouted Nate.

“Are you calling me a Scooby now?” Spike was outraged.

“How about they go into the training room, to continue their displays masculine prowess?” said Anya, clearly afraid for her merchandise.

“That’s a good idea,” said Buffy, ”maybe I can read the contract then!” she shouted

Both men turned to look at the small blond slayer and attempted to look sheepish.

“Either go into the training room and bash each other’s brains out or sit your buns down and wait.”

Buffy glowered at the two men, until they both sat at the table.

“It’s at times like these when I wish I could make that whip noise that Xander does,” said Anya.

So Buffy made the whip noise. Buffy chuckled to herself, but continued reading. She could tell Spike was miffed by Anya’s comment, but the faster she read, the faster Nate could go and the faster Spike would quit being so possessive.

Finally, Buffy was finished reading and was more or less pleased with all the changes that had been made. Buffy stood up walked over to the table and leaned over to sign her name to the paper. Buffy was all too aware that she was really sticking out her butt, and in Spike’s direction too.

Buffy shoved the paper towards Nate and sat down on Spike’s lap.

“There you go, all signed and everything. It was a pleasure doing business with you.” Buffy smiled.

“Right then,” said Spike, wrapping his hands around Buffy’s waist. “You’ve done your bit, now skedaddle off to your poncy council.”

Nate was furious. Despite his rage, Nate managed to push the contract into his brief case. “I will make sure that a copy will be sent to your home Miss Summers,” he said through clenched teeth.

Buffy nodded and watched, with a little sadness, her ex husband walk out of the magic shop and hopefully her life for a few more years at least.
__________________________________________
“So what’s he like...you know?” asked Willow, shoving a few more gummy bears into her mouth.

Buffy and Willow were pyjama clad in the living room of 1630 Revello Dr, participating in Best Friend Fest 2001.

“Are you sure you want to know?” asked Buffy.

“Of course!”

“He’s happy inducing.”

“Better than Angel?”

“Yep.”

“Better than Riley?”

“And how! I mean come on, can’t you hear us through the walls?”

Willow giggled. “Tara put up a sound dampening spell around your room, after the first night.”

“That was way smart of her. But you should have told me, I’ve been trying to be quiet.”

“Coulda fooled me. So tell me about Buffy, from the future, what’s the dirt?”

“Dirt? There’s no dirt, Willow.”

“Come on, just how many guys have you married?”

“Human wise, with the justice of the peace? Six times.”

“So tell me who else you married, besides Mr Natey Nate.”

“Why do you want to know?”

“Cause you said I could ask anything?”

Buffy exhaled. “Ok, Nathaniel Bradford, you met him, William Blakely, another watcher, Frederick Corbett, He was/ is/will be an author. Then there was Percy Wyndam-Price, another watcher...”

“Whoa back up, Wyndam-Price? As in Wesley Wyndam-Price?”

“Um, Wesley’s cousin. We met at Welsey’s funeral, but didn’t start up together until Rick and I divorced. Then there was Antonio Botelli, he was a Singer, Opera, actually. And last but not least William Darcy. He was a Brownie or half Brownie.”

“Ok, leaving the Brownie thing alone... So your name is what? Buffy Anne Summers-Bradford-Blakely-Corbett-Wyndam-Price-Botelli-Darcy?”

Buffy frowned, “Well if I’d taken their names, but I didn’t can you imagine Buffy Botelli? Too many B’s.”

Willow laughed.

“So when do I die?” asked Willow getting very serious all of a sudden.

“Willow...”

“Can you at least tell me if I die old or young?”

“Wills...ok, you have a long life, you do a lot of good for the world. I was with you at the end, and ...” Buffy had started to tear up.

“Oh Buffy!” Willow dropped the bag of gummy bears and hugged her friend.

“I didn’t want you to go Wills! You were my best friend!”

“Present tense please, I am your best friend!”

“I know Wills,” Buffy sniffed.

“Were we still all friends at the end?”

Buffy pulled away from Willow and got all silent.

“Buffy?”

“We lose track of Xander...after some really bad stuff happens. “

“Oh Buffy!”

“I didn’t mean for it to happen, it was just with...the bad stuff, and all, Xander wanted a normal life. He needed to get away from the demons and the magic. We let him go. It was what he wanted. He died a Grandpa, and we said our goodbyes at his funeral, but no one there knew who we were.”
__________________________________________
Buffy stood in front of her mirror, almost ready for bed. Spike was out playing poker again. She hoped with all her might that it wasn’t for kittens, but she wasn’t holding her breath. She looked so different from what she looked like a two weeks ago. Buffy started prodding and poking at her face, seeing where the wrinkles would form.

Without realising it, Buffy had started to examine her teeth. Tentatively, her fingers began to pull on her teeth, just to make sure that they were firmly imbedded into her cranium.

“Bloody Hell! What are you doing?” came Spike’s voice from the doorway.

Buffy jumped back from the mirror. “Nothing?”

“Looked like you were pulling your fangs down. That’s not what you were doing now was it?”

“No, just making sure they wouldn’t fall out.”

Spike snorted.

“How come you are all at home on poker night?”

“Can’t a bloke spend some time with his mate?”

“I thought you wanted to spend some time with your mates“ she said coyly.

“Who wants to spend time with Clem when I have a passionate firecracker waiting for me in my bed?”

“Our bed Spike, our bed.”

__________________________________________
Lazy Sunday

Buffy stumbled down stairs to take in the mess that she and Willow had left from their girls night out. Ice cream cartons, gummy bear bags, and a half eaten bowl of popcorn littered the living room. Buffy’s colourful assortment of nail polish along with cotton balls and polish remover were under the coffee table. Buffy stooped to pick the collection up, only to step on a gummy bear.

It was Sunday morning, and instead of sleeping in with her yummy mate, she was cleaning. This was something that heralded another apocalypse, she was certain of it.

She was having breakfast with Anya in town. The truth was that Buffy kinda felt bad about leaving Anya out of her and Willow’s friend fest. Anya was her friend, more so now that before, but still Buffy liked Anya, and she was rapidly skyrocketing to the number two position in the best friend Olympics.
__________________________________________
“So Xander was telling me that he’s thinking of asking Giles to be his best man,” said Anya.

The two women were eating omelettes in a brightly lit restaurant on Sunnydale’s main drag.

“Really? Does that mean I have to walk up the aisle with Giles? And dance with him at the reception?”

“You weren’t planning on dancing with him at the reception anyway?”

“Well, I guess I hadn’t thought about it.” Buffy took a sip of her orange juice.

“I don’t know, sometimes I think I’m doing this wedding thing all wrong. I’ve never attended one before, well at least not in a non vengeance capacity. I don’t know what’s expected and traditional, except for everything that comes out of the bridal magazines. They have been my life line, literally.”

“It’s your wedding Anya, you and Xander have to make your own traditions and your own memories, who cares what other weddings looked like, or what other couples did?”

“Xander does,” mumbled Anya.

“Then Xander is a poop head. It’s your day. If you want to include some stuff from your own demon traditions, then that’s great. If he doesn’t accept that...well you will just have to make him see.”

Anya smiled. “I could. We’ve had the discussion, somewhat. He really didn’t like it. I think the groom’s right of self flagellation turned him off demon traditions.”

Buffy laughed. “Ya I can see that happening. But Anya, if he doesn't respect your beliefs, do you really think that you should just cater to his ideas about how a marriage... I mean a wedding should take place?”

Anya was silent for a while.

“You are right. It’s my wedding too. He just has these issues about demons. I think they are getting better though. I mean he’s not always muttering about you and Spike anymore, not after you talked to him.”

“One of my better talking head times. They don’t always work.”

“No, but you tried. I know you did. I just hope that Willow doesn’t go off the deep end. I know of quite a few people who are just lost to the potential darkness of magic, like there’s this guy Rack...bad news, let me tell you...”

Buffy smiled.

“Rack’s gone Anya, I took care of him right after Amy.”

“You were the one that turned Amy back?” gasped Anya.

Buffy’s eyes went wide. “Oh crap. You can’t tell anyone Anya. I meant to keep that a secret.”

“Why? You have witchy power now? What’s so wrong about that? It’s not like you are going to blow up the world or anything...are you...going to blow up the world?”

“No, Anya, strictly here on a live my life over kick.”

Anya nodded.

“But could you...blow up the world if you wanted to? I ask as a point of interest...I never had that kind of power.”

“I don’t think I could Anya, I wouldn’t try anyway, I’m the Slayer, the world protector.”

“So are you willing to impart gossip from the future?”

“Anya...”

“I bet you told Willow lots of stuff, come on, just a couple of things?”

Buffy smiled.

“You managed to acquire a very fruitful portfolio of investments, The Magic Box was doing very well, in it’s online business anyway.”

“And Xander?”

“What about Xander?” Buffy gulped.

“Do we live happily ever after?”

Buffy didn’t answer.

“Buffy?”
__________________________________________
It broke Buffy’s heart to tell Anya that she didn’t live happily ever after with Xander. Luckily the ex demon didn’t push any further.

Buffy arrived home from Breakfast to find Spike still fast asleep in their bed. Looking at him all cute and boyish, clutching her pillow, she could help but think about all the things that she wanted to change. She didn’t want Spike to die. She didn’t want Xander and Anya to go through the painful altar leaving episode, the problem was, she really didn’t think that they should get married at all. It was horrible to think of her friend like this, but Xander was a bigot, when it came to demons and ex demons. Anya deserved someone better than Xander. And Xander needed to have someone that he could love without having to try and change.

Buffy flung off her shoes and crawled in beside Spike.

“Mmm Slayer,” he moaned as he pulled her closer to him.

“Not naked Slayer though,” he frowned. “Want Naked Slayer.”

Buffy giggled and started to divest herself of her clothes.
__________________________________________
Buffy was humming along to some peppy pop song that she couldn’t quite remember the words to, while she cleaned the bathroom. Willow and Tara were up and about already, Spike was asleep, naturally, and Dawn... Where was Dawn.

Buffy peaked her head into Dawn’s room to see the teen still sleeping. It was at least noon. It was funny how Dawn had passed that trait on to her offspring. Buffy remembered trying to get Eleanor to get up on Sundays with limited success.

Buffy walked into the room and stared at the sleeping body. She looked so much like Eleanor. Buffy jumped on the bed and started to bounce up and down.

She was having such a good time, jumping on the bed, that she lost herself for a moment.

“Eleanor Michelle Summers-Wells! Get your lazy ass out of bed!”

The moment the words were out of her mouth she stopped jumping. crap, crap, crap!

“Who the hell is Eleanor Michelle Summers-Wells?” asked an angry and sleepy Dawn.

“Uh, no one.“ Buffy jumped off the bed and ran out of the room.

“Nuh uh,” said Dawn as she jumped off the bed herself and chased after her sister.

“Who is Eleanor Michelle Summers-Wells?”

Buffy ran into her room and hid behind her bed.

“Tell me Buffy!” shouted Dawn as she entered the room.

Buffy peaked her head out from behind the bed.

“Buffy...”

“Bloody Hell Nib! Can’t a vamp sleep in peace?”

“Sorry Spike...” mumbled Dawn. “Buffy!” she hissed.

Buffy rolled her eyes and stood up.

“Tell her, Slayer, before I do,” mumbled the sleepy vampire into his pillow.

“You don’t know...”

Spike sat up and looked at Buffy.

“Tell her!” he growled.

“Fine,” Buffy hissed.

Buffy stomped out of her bedroom and followed Dawn down stairs.

Down in the kitchen Buffy grabbed her box of cereal and started munching.

“So?” asked Dawn.

Buffy exhaled loudly.

“Eleanor Michelle is/will be your daughter, Dawn. She was/is like my own daughter, raised her, you were so busy being a watcher, tracking down potential slayers and Andrew, well he wasn’t around much either. She looks so much like you Dawn. I miss her. Sometimes it’s hard to see you acting like a teenager when you’re my sister who’s dead, Dawn.”

Buffy wiped a tear away from her cheek.

“How’d I die, Buffy?”

“Vampire... isn’t it always? Your Slayer was kidnapped and tortured and killed. Turned. She killed you Dawn.”

Dawn was crying now too.

“I’m not going to let it happen that way Dawn. Not again.”

Dawn leapt up and hugged her sister.

“Don’t you think I knew what I was doing? You can’t change the future Buffy!”

“A future where you leave your little girl an orphan?”

“At least I know that she’ll have Aunt Buffy to take care of her.”

“Dawn...”

Dawn pulled back from the hug.

“I love you Buffy.”

Buffy smiled. “I love you too Dawnie.”

Dawn sniffed. “Gonna make me lunch now?” asked Dawn.

“After the tear fest? You betcha.”

“Yay!”
__________________________________________
Willow and Tara came home to find Dawn and Buffy working on Dawn’s English essay.

“I feel like I’ve slipped into the twilight zone. Look at Buffy with the homework!” said Willow.

“Shouldn’t Dawn be doing her own homework?” asked Tara hesitantly.

“Only proofreading,” protested Buffy.

“Buffy’s been doing lots of work on her thesis,” said Dawn.

“Yeah, Giles told me, I guess I had to see it for myself. I’d love to read it,” said Willow.

“You missed the stupid Buffy lecture in which Bad things happened.”

“Or good things, depending on point of view. Spike’s my brother in Law!” gushed Dawn happily.

“Ooooh! Party! Claiming party!” said Willow.

“We should have an engagement party for Anya and Xander don’t you think?” said Tara, “First anyway?”

“Tara’s right,” said Buffy. “Anya and Xander have been all announce-y first. Besides I don’t know if this is something that Spike wants to celebrate with a party.”

“That’s fair,” said Dawn.

“So party for Anya and Xander then?” offered up Buffy.

“Is this a present type party?” asked Tara.

“I think it’s a go for presents,” said Buffy.

“I can do decorations!” Willow jumped up and down.

Buffy looked harshly at Willow.

“Non magic decorations,” clarified Willow.

Tara smiled happily.

“A theme party!” said Dawn suddenly.

“You mean besides the over arching wedding theme?” asked Buffy.

“Duh! How about like a whole welcome to the demon world Xander. It would be hilarious.” Dawn started making notes for the party.

“Or not?” said Willow.

“I like Dawn’s idea, sweetie,” said Tara.

“We could find out what Anya ate in Arashamahar, Willow, you could invite D’Hoffryn,” offered Buffy.

“D’Hoffryn? Are you sure?” asked Willow.

“Absolutely! We could find out who her demon best friend was/is,” said Dawn, still making notes.

“Hallfrek,” stated Buffy.

“Who frek?” asked Dawn.

“Hallfrek Vengeance demon, Anyanka’s best friend,” supplied Buffy. “What?” said Buffy after Willow started giving her looks. “I’m helping her with the wedding, of course I know who Hallfrek is! She’s a bride’s maid.”

“Huh. Looks like we’ve got some research to do,” said Willow.
__________________________________________
 

__________________________________________
Manic Monday

Monday didn’t start off well. In hindsight, Buffy knew that she should have seen it from the first words that Spike said that morning.

“The poofter knows.”

Those ominous words greeted her. Spike must have known that she was awake. Clearly he had not slept. Buffy didn’t even remember him coming home last night, she had been completely exhausted from engagement party planning.

However, Buffy realised that she should have asked Spike, the hows and the whens. How did Angel find out, and when was he going to beat down her door.

At the time the sunny day out side prevented her from thinking that she was going to get accosted by the broody one for at least 12 hours.

It wasn’t that long though.

What Spike didn’t tell her was that Angel had arrived in the middle of the night and that he had had a confrontation of sorts with his grandsire at Willy’s.

Of course it wasn’t until Buffy was safely working away on her research that Angel entered the Magic Box and shocked the hell out of her.

“Maybe we should put a bell on the sewer entrance,” said Anya at one point. “I mean it would be nice to know when customers are entering the shop. Vampire’s are welcome to purchase items just as long as they don’t kill anyone.”

“Anya, you might want to keep that welcome to yourself. You never know when the vamps might start taking an interest in the shop keeper as well as the shop merchandise,” said Buffy, looking intently at her notes.

“Hello Buffy,“ said Angel all of a sudden.

Buffy jumped, 3”x5” cards went everywhere.

“God! Angel! Don’t do that!” yelled Buffy, trying to centre herself and beginning to pick up her cards. Anya laughed hysterically.

“I’m sorry,” he muttered. “I just thought, with you being the Slayer and all, you could feel when a vampire is nearby.”

“Well, Spike’s having really erotic dream right now...It’s kinda distracting. The tinglies are cancelling each other out.”

“So it’s true then?” he asked, as he began to pace.

“True?”

“You’re mated to Spike.”

“Oh, ya, I am,” she said happily. “How’d you find out?”

“That’s not important Buffy.”

“Ok, what is important then? Why are you here?”

“He, he didn’t force you did he?”

“No.” Buffy rolled her eyes.

“Then...How?”

“Well it involved a pointer, Giles, Spike as audio visual, and me getting carried away. It’s a whole big thing.”

“Huh?”

“I’m the one that claimed Spike, Angel.”

“You what?”

“I. Claimed. Spike.”

Angel shook his head. “That can’t be, you don’t know the rites.”

“I do. I said them. Hey, I just realised something. I’m Cookies!”

“Now I’m confused...” stated Anya.

“We haven’t had the cookie dough conversation yet have we?”

“The what?” asked Angel.

“It was an analogy, it sucked. I learn from my mistakes. The important part here is that I am the Mate of Spike, William the Bloody, Slayer of Slayers.”

“I anticipate he will propose actual human marriage to her very soon,” added Anya.

Angel glared.

“But it’s Spike.”

“I love him Angel. I chose him to be my champion and my heart. I’m his soul. Don’t make me choose between you, cause you won’t like what I decide.”

There was silence for a while as Buffy stared at Angel, Angel stared at the floor and Anya counted money.

“You know you’re the only one that Buffy didn’t rush to hug...well except for that Nate guy. Are you not hugging exs?” asked Anya.

“That’s right! I haven’t hugged Angel!” Buffy’s face lit up.

Without warning, Buffy launched herself into Angel’s arms, catching the vampire off guard.

“Uh...Buffy? What’s going on?” he asked.

“Not much, just I kinda missed you and all.”

“You missed me? Even after all that ‘don’t make me choose’ speech?”

Buffy pulled away from the hug and sat back down at her notes and books.

“Ya, I missed you, I haven’t seen you in a little over a century...”

“Excuse me?”

“This isn’t our Buffy, this is Buffy from 102 years in the future,” supplied Anya.

“What?”

“There was a spell, we don’t know who did it. I switched bodies with my past self. But it’s totally ok, cause everyone is happy this way.”

“Everyone, what about our Buffy?” asked Angel.

Buffy rolled her eyes. “Do I have to have this conversation with everyone? I’m gonna have to have this conversation with Riley when he shows up too aren’t I?”

Anya nodded.

“K from the top, I, Buffy Summers, age 122, was dying, cause well I was 122, and then all of a sudden I wake up in my bed, in Sunnydale, not London and I’m in my 20 year old body. Now Buffy who was here, she got swapped into my body, so I figure she’s in heaven, where she wants to be, by the way.”

“And you know that she wants to be there how?” he asked.

“Cause I’m her. So how long are you sticking around?”
__________________________________________

Angel had left in a huff. Buffy didn’t want him to leave like that, but what else could she do. She knew that she was still bitter that Angel crossed over to Wolfram and Heart, or will cross over. The truth was that even after 101 years Buffy still really hadn’t figured out what had killed Angel, or Wesley. She simply knew that they were gone. A tragic loss, yes, and she had even gone to Wesley’s funeral.

Buffy walked home, wrapped up in her thoughts, her mind drifting to what day it was, and how she had things to take care of today.

Buffy returned home in time to see Spike, just up, paw around the kitchen for his first mug of blood of the day.

“Have some good dreams?” asked Buffy.

Spike just smirked and walked towards her for a kiss, but he stopped short. He wrinkled his nose.

“You smell like Angel,” he said with a sneer.

“So I gave him a hug. I didn’t bite him. I didn’t even tell him about my teeth.”

“Only those you love get subjected to that delight.”

“You betcha.”

Buffy reached up and ruffled his hair. Playfully he swatted her hand away.

“I like your bed hair.”

Spike growled. “You watch it Missy.”

“Hey! I’m not Missy! Buffy! Great Aunt of Missy.”

Spike took a sip of his blood ignoring the comment.

Failing to get a rise out of him, Buffy continued on with random thoughts that deposited themselves into her head.

“You know, today is the day that you are supposed to find out you can hurt me.”

“Beg pardon?”

“You know, that intense migraine pain? The one you would need happy blue pills for but are too manly to break down and take drugs? You don’t get the pain with me. Come on...You have noticed right?”

“I seem to recall, biting you one or two times last night...”he said with a leer.

Buffy rolled her eyes.

“So what did the great ponce have to say for himself?”

“Not much. Angel was never one for talking.”

“Unless he was drunk.”

“I’d pay money to see Angel drunk... But that’s completely off topic. He came, he spoke his piece, I left. Thus endth the story.”

“And he just buggered off... after you gave him what for?”

“I didn’t give him what for Spike. I just let him know what was going on.”

“And you think the great poofter is going to leave it at that? We are talking about the same Angel right pet?”

“Tall Dark and Forehead? Yes Spike.”

Spike smirked at her use of the nick name he had for this grandsire.

“But you think that he’s not going to leave it at that? Why not? I thought I was pretty clear about what was going on...”

Spike just shook his head.

“What?”

“Peaches is not gonna let well enough alone, Slayer. He thinks you are his. Tried explaining to his high and hair gel-ness that you are mine...”

Buffy smiled.

“...But if that little tid bit of information got into his gel saturated cranium, you and I can have that outdoor wedding in the park you wanted so much.”

Buffy rolled her eyes.

Spike took another sip of his blood.

“Do you think he will make a formal challenge?”

Spike stopped and took a look at his mate, disbelievingly.

Buffy sauntered up to her bare chested lover and snuggled in close. Spike wrapped his arms around her.

“Spike you’ve got to get over the idea that I’m just a 20 year old slayer. There’s lots that I know now, I’m a wealth of information. Things like Claiming and Vamp family structures have been my specialty for years and years. If Angel wants to exert his rights as your grandsire and take your mate away from you...well I won’t be letting him. You are mine. And even if I have to fight him myself...”

“No.”

“What do you mean no? You don’t tell Buffy Summers no.”

“I do pet. You won’t take on Angel if he wants to challenge the claim. I will defend the claim.”

“Even if you kill him?”

“Even if I kill him.”

Buffy exhaled. “The most heinous crime a vamp can commit, is to kill his sire.”

“Nancy Boy Angel isn’t my sire pet, you know that.”

“He’s your grandsire, it’s virtually the same.”

“Makes a world of difference to me. Doesn’t matter anyway, love. Already an outcast from my clan.”

Buffy smiled. “Pretty much your entire clan is outcast. Besides you've made your own clan here with us,” Buffy hugged tighter.

“Does this mean that the whelp and the witches are the minions then?”

Buffy laughed. “Just don’t tell them that.”
__________________________________________
A mugging? That was something she hadn’t dealt with in good long time but the fact that Spike charged in to help without thinking, yes silly but oh so sweet. Buffy knelt down on the ground next to her ailing lover.

“You’d think if the government was gonna put a chip in my head they’d at lease make it so I could attack criminals and that sort,” he groaned.

“Yes, because muggers deserve to eaten,” she said helping him up.

Spike gave her a look.

“I know you wouldn’t eat them Spike...”

“You don’t know that love.”

“Maybe not when you first got the chip...But you are mine now and I trust you,” she said sweetly.

Buffy and Spike got home only to see Amy chowing down on cookies on the couch.

“Amy! you are back!” said Buffy astonished.

“Ya, I can only take so much father daughter time, was a bit, I don’t know, suffocating. I came by to see if Willow wanted to do something, but she’s not here. Dawn’s doing homework upstairs.”

Buffy plopped down on to the couch beside Amy and grabbed a cookie. Amy was watching the news. A report about a museum guard who was frozen solid. Buffy nearly choked on her cookie.

“Alright pet?” called Spike from the kitchen. He was getting himself a mug of blood.

“Ya,” she said recovering. “I...I just need to make a phone call.” Buffy got up from the couch and found the portable phone.

“Hello? Crime stoppers?”

Remember...Every author likes reviews...make an author do that happy dance we love so much...Review!

Frost Monsters and Stupid Vampires

“Isn’t this something we should be taking care of?” asked Willow when Buffy told her friends about the frozen museum guard. “Maybe it’s some sort of frost demon who likes to eat diamonds.”

Buffy laughed. They were all sitting around the magic shop, Xander, Willow, Tara, Amy, Spike and Dawn.

“No, that’s a good idea Wills but I’ve done this before and it turned out that there was no such thing.”

“I’ve never heard of one before,” said Anya, her nose buried in Today’s Bride Magazine.

“I know Warren, Jonathan and Andrew took it and I really don’t want to end up blinvisible Buffy again. Although, the invisible Spike sex...lots of fun. Good times.”

“TMI! shouted Dawn.”

Buffy rolled her eyes.

“Warren, the guy who made the Buffy Bot?” asked Xander.

Xander had to be the one to ask that question.

“Yes Xander,” conceded Buffy.

“And Jonathan? Jonathan wacky glamour Jonathan?” asked Willow.

“What about the other one?” asked Amy.

“Andrew. Tucker Wells’ brother...”

“Who?” asked Xander.

“The guy who set hell hounds on the prom...”

“Ah yes. I didn’t know his parents decided to procreate again, after that stellar contribution to the population,” spouted Xander

“Apparently so.”

“Wait...Andrew Wells? Like Wells...Eleanor Michelle Summers-Wells?” said Dawn.

“Uh...” Buffy trailed off, hoping to be saved from those around the table.

“Oh god. I marry a guy who’s a diamond stealer?” panicked Dawn.

“I never said you married him.”

“I’m an unwed mother too! Oh god!” Dawn sat with a thump on the ladder.

“Dawn it’s not that bad!” protested Buffy.

“What are you talking about?!”

Buffy groaned. Truthfully she didn’t know how to handle this. She looked to Anya for a little help, but all the ex demon could do was to shrug.

“Dawnie I know nothing I say is gonna make you feel better, but it all makes sense when you have Eleanor, believe me.”

Dawn seemed happier at that statement. But the rest of the scoobies, except Anya seemed really very confused.

“So you don’t need Scooby action for this then?” asked Xander.

“Yes, we made plans for out own Scooby action,” said Anya proudly. “I’m mastering the art of the innuendo,” supplied the shop keeper.

Willow had gross face on.

“You should take lessons from Spike,” said Buffy

“Oy!” shouted Spike.

“Oh excuse me Mr ‘all we’ve done is dance.’”

Spike smirked.
__________________________________________

Buffy and Spike walked through one of Sunnydale’s many cemetaries hand in hand on patrol, only moments after the impromtu meeting about the frost monster.

“Why are you so worried about the three nerds love?” asked Spike.

“Cause they are more dangerous than they appear.”

“Fine don’t tell me.”

“Spike! It’s not that I don’t want to tell you, it’s just that, well, haven’t I let slip enough damaging future stuff? Hell, now that I’ve interfered, Eleanor might not even be born. I’m pretty sure that Dawn won’t have the opportunity to get to be friends with Andrew now...”

“What happens there?”

“Andrew’s gay. Dawn and he got to be very good friends after we moved to Rome. They both wanted a kid, decided to have one together...Andrew and Dawn were both watchers at the time. Andrew saw Eleanor as much as he could but he was assigned to Australia pretty soon after she was born. Then Andrew was killed by a Polgara demon, Dawn was killed by her slayer who was turned and Aunt Buffy got to raise a beautiful seven year old.”

“Why didn’t you tell the nibblet that?”

“I don’t know...It just seemed better if she didn’t know.”

They walked on for a few more minutes before Buffy felt tinglies on the back of her neck that were not Spike’s.

“Ok Angel, you can come out from where ever you are hiding,” said Buffy into the darkness.

From behind a monument, Angel crept, and stopped right in front of the couple.

Buffy looked at Spike contemplatively. “You win.”

Spike smirked and rubbed his hands together.

“Don’t look too happy,” continued Buffy.

“Dare I ask what he wins?” asked Angel.

“I have to get ‘Spike’s Toy’ tattooed on my ass,” said Buffy with a smile.

Angel growled.

“I think it’s a little unfair, I didn’t ask for body mutilation for my half of the bet.”

“You accepted the bet fair and square Slayer. I agreed to your corn on the cob fest, so that you could enjoy the wonderfulness of your teeth.”

Buffy smiled again and planted a kiss on his cheek.

“So what can we do for you Angel?” asked Buffy.

“Leave him,” stated Angel.

“Well that’s not going to happen, poofter,” said Spike.

“It will if I challenge the claim, childe.”

“Whoa, there will be no challenge-y talk here!” shouted Buffy.

“Stay out of this Buffy!” ordered Angel.

“NO! I will not! He’s mine Angel, I won’t be giving him up not for you, not for Xander or Riley or Giles or Wood. He. Is. Mine. So you can just back off brood boy.”

“This is not your place Buffy.”

“Oh no? But is it yours? Are you the head of the Aurelius Clan?”

Angel looked at Buffy oddly.

“I never told you she was back...How do you know...Did you see Darla?” said Angel.

Buffy let her mouth hang open.

“Darla’s dust, you traitorous childe!” shouted Spike.

Buffy could tell that this was no joking matter for him. The death of Darla had always grated on his nerves. The fact that Angel had killed Darla to protect Buffy, was a painful fact. Sure he had threatened to stake Dru for her...but that was different right? He hadn’t actually done it.

“When did she come back Angel?” asked Buffy.

“You mean you don’t know?”

“No, I was going to refer to the fact that you had a soul and are hardly qualified to be head of the clan. When did Darla come back?”

Angel hung his head.

“When did she come back?” Buffy asked louder.

“She’s been back since last year,” mumbled Angel.

“Wow, so you really aren’t the head of the clan then are you?” said Buffy. “Maybe we should go pay great grand mummy a visit then?”

“No!” shouted Angel.

“No?” asked Spike. “Don’t think you’ve got the right to tell me what to do there, Angel, you’re all soul having.”

“Why can’t we?” asked Buffy.

Angel hemmed and hawed some more before Buffy decided to let the matter drop.

“Are you still intending to challenge the claim Angel?” she asked.

Angel looked up at the blond couple.

“You were mine,” said Angel.

“No, I was never yours. You fed off me Angel. That was it. There were no rights. If anything I was Dracula’s. Doesn’t matter now though. I am Spike’s and he’s mine.”

“I don’t accept that.”

“Do you feel like we are going in circles here?” Buffy asked Spike.

“Little bit,” agreed Spike.

“Angel. Nothing you can say is going to make this go back to the way it was. Either challenge or leave. Cause frankly this is getting kinda tedious.”

Buffy grabbed Spike’s hand and walked past the brooding vampire.
__________________________________________

Buffy and Spike returned home from patrol, ‘bringing the building down’ sex and a visit to the tattoo parlour. That wasn’t something she was going to change. How many people can say that a building fell down because they were having sex in it? It’s a mark of achievement. They didn’t stay though. Why bother, when they had a comfy bed waiting for them at home.

Sitting on the couch watching TV were Dawn and Tara.

“I’m excited. Are you excited. Party tomorrow!” said Dawn as soon as Buffy kneeled/sat down beside her on the couch. Her ass was a little sore from the visit to the tattoo artist.

“I just hope that it doesn’t scare Xander too much,” said Tara.

Dawn giggled. “I wonder if he’ll faint.”

“Did we get replies from everyone?” asked Buffy.

“Almost. The important people at least,” said Dawn.

Buffy looked at the clock, it was way past Dawn’s bed time. Anticipating her sister, Dawn announced that she was going to bed. Walking towards the stairs, Dawn let out a scream as she passed the door of the house.

“Buffy!”

Buffy shot up out of the living room and ran to her sister’s side.

On the front lawn was Angel, in game face, carrying a torch and pouring blood in a circle on the lawn. Ordinarily Dawn wouldn’t have screamed at that. It was the fact that Angel was naked that had caused the hysterics.

“Dawn go to bed,” ordered Buffy.

“What the hell is he doing?” asked Dawn.

“Challenging the claim,” muttered Buffy. “Dawn, bed, now.”

“Bloody buggering hell,” muttered Spike from behind her.

Spike moved to go out the door and face his challenger.

“No,” ordered Buffy, pulling him back.

“Slayer, you can’t deny me this.”

“No I can’t. But it’s my challenge too. I won’t let you fight him alone. I claimed you first.”

“The poofter doesn’t care who claimed who, Buffy.”

“He should. Let me try to talk to him again.”

“Won’t do any good.”

“Perhaps, but I have to try.”

Spike stared into her eyes for a moment, silently asking permission to do something she knew he was going to do anyway. Without a word, Buffy tilted her head to give him access to her neck and his marks.

“Mine,” he growled sinking his fangs into her neck.

“Yours,” she answered.

Spike licked his marks and tugged his shirt over his head, then tilted his own head for her better access.

“Mine,” she said simply, before biting hard into his neck.

“Yours,” he acknowledged.

Buffy wiped her blood covered mouth and planted a kiss on his lips.

“Don’t do anything stupid out there,” she warned.

“Me? Never.”
__________________________________________
tbc...
15

__________________________________________
Naked Challenge

Spike strode out of the house with purpose. Buffy could only hope that this would end soon, without Spike getting hurt.

Behind her Tara watched the scene unfolding. “Buffy? What’s going on?“

“It’s a fight to prove who is more worthy of being my mate,“ said Buffy sadly.

“Why?”

Buffy laughed. “That is a very good question. I’m going to chalk it up to Angel being dense.”

“Spike won’t get hurt will he?”

“Not if I can help it.”

Buffy stepped out on to the porch.

“Angel! Could you please at least put some pants on? The neighbours are gonna start to complain and call the cops.”

Angel stopped what he was doing and looked at her.

“Go back in the house Buffy. This doesn’t concern you,” said the brooding one.

Buffy rolled her eyes. “I see we are on the merry-go-round again. This is as much my fight as Spike’s, but he wants to go first. I hope you realise exactly what you are getting yourself into here.”

Angel ignored her. He and Spike stepped into the circle of blood.

“I challenge my Grand childe for the right to claim this human, this slayer as mate,” said Angel.

“I defend my right to claim this slayer as mate. We have performed the rights,” answered Spike.

Buffy jumped off the porch and entered the blood circle on the lawn.

“I defend my right to be mate to Spike, William the Bloody, Childe of Drusilla. I am his mate and he is mine. We have performed the rites,” said Buffy.

Buffy moved off to the side of the circle, she wouldn’t leave the circle until there was a winner. Spike and Angel crouched down in defensive positions.

Buffy couldn’t help but watch as Angel and Spike went at it on her front lawn. Angel naked, Spike shirtless. Spike got in a few good hits before being slammed down onto the ground hard by the elder vampire.

“I am your grandsire childe!” shouted Angel. “I will always be stronger than you”

Buffy stood up as Angel walked closer to Spike, who was only now attempting to get up. Moving between Angel and her lover, Buffy stood defiantly protecting Spike from Angel.

“Guess this means it’s my turn,” said Buffy with a smile on her face.

“It doesn’t have to be this way Buffy.”

“It does now. You started the challenge, now we have to finish it.”

Buffy ducked as Angel swung at her. She circled around and kicked Angel in the back, causing the dark vampire to land on top of Spike.

Spike groaned.

“Sorry!” she said in a high girly intonation.

Spike pushed Angel up off of him and belted him one in the gut.

Buffy moved to the sidelines once more. Angel had opened up a cut on Spike’s jaw line, and Angel was favouring his left arm.

“Give it up Peaches,” said Spike wiping the blood off his chin. “She’s my girl, not yours.”

Angel let out a feral roar and charged towards Spike. Buffy caught a flash of something in Angel’s hand. He had a stake! That wasn’t allowed in the challenge!

“Angel!” screamed Buffy.

Angel and Spike were now wrestling on the ground, each struggling to wrench the stake away from the other.

Getting the upper hand again, Angel thrust the stake at Spike’s heart.

“NO!” Buffy screamed.

An intense light emanated from Buffy and stopped the two vampires in their tracks.

Panting with the expending energy, Buffy shook off the static of magic that she had used and walked over to the two frozen vamps and took the stake out of Angel’s hand.

“Buffy? What did you do?” asked Tara.

Buffy had completely forgot that Tara had been watching. Buffy looked up at Tara, her eyes completely white. She smiled.

“Surprise?” shrugged Buffy.

“Buffy? You are a witch?”

“Not really. It’s kinda hard to explain. I couldn’t let Angel kill him. I love him.”

Tara nodded.

“But what about the...” Tara waved her hand towards Buffy.

“Oh, I don’t like to flaunt it. There’s a time and place for everything.”

“Willow’s eyes go black when she’s caught up in the magic. Your’s are white.”

Buffy nodded.

“Your’s would be white too Tara.”

Tara blushed.

“Is Willow evil?”

Buffy laughed. “No, she’s just a different kind of witch. Magic isn’t evil or good, it’s what you use it for, you let it control you or you control it.”

Tara nodded. “Are you just gonna leave them like that?”

Buffy chuckled. “No I suppose not. I just don’t know how to stop this with out hurting the both of them,” she sighed.

Buffy released the spell. Suddenly without the stake, Angel fell forward onto Spike’s chest. Buffy stood before them and waved a hand. Suddenly Angel was being dangled in the air.

“Angel, I told you that you would have to take on the both of us. Well here I am, not even touching you, and yet you can’t get away.”

“Buffy?” asked Angel surprised.

“That’s right Angel, I’m more powerful that you ever imagined. Spike is mine, Angel. Mine. And I am his. If you ever try to stand between us again, you won’t get out of the challenge alive. Do you understand me?”

Angel nodded.

“Put some clothes on and go back to LA Angel.” Buffy floated Angel over to where his clothes were.

“Buffy?” asked Spike confused.

Buffy’s hardened expression suddenly softened as she beheld her lover undead and well. Buffy rushed to his side and did a surface check of all his injuries.

Spike stared for a moment at her colourless eyes.

“What happened to the green?”

Buffy ducked her head and relaxed. She looked back up at him, her eye colour back to normal.

“That better?”

“Yes. Were you going to tell me about the whole witchy thing?” he asked.

“Eventually.”

“You turned Amy back didn’t you?”

“Yep. Come on in the house. You probably want to talk about this.”

“Damn right I do.”

Buffy looked out of the corner of her eye to see Angel slink off by himself.
__________________________________________
It was nearly 4 am and still Buffy hadn’t slept. She and Spike had stayed up talking about everything. He had been hurt that she had had secrets from him even now. Five hours of dishing secrets would make anyone tired but not Buffy. Spike was lying on his stomach growling in his sleep.

Placing a peck on his cheek, Buffy trod down stairs and got out that piece of paper on which held her list. She hadn’t looked at it in a long time. Looking it over she couldn’t believe how many things were missing from it. She should have anticipated Angel’s reaction to the claim. She should have had a secret swapping session with Spike.

Buffy’s List of Things To Do Now That I’m NOT an Old Crone

1. Go to the Beach - work on tan, before the ozone layer completely evaporates - Take Dawn Done
2. Have sex with love of your life, as much as possible.
3. Eat junk food.Done
4. Shop, shop like there’s no tomorrow.
5. Bronze it up - Take Spike - Get Drunk - get the hang over of all hangovers Done
6. Visit Mom’s grave, if possible, look to move her out of Sunnydale.
7. Patrol, kick undead booty
8. Have talk with Willow about magic over use - possible prop, ice cream, chocolate chips and gummy bears.
9. Marriage counsel Xander and Anya (Pre marriage counsel?)
10. Put nerds in jail, possibly after diamond bust (note, what to do about Andrew?)
11. Have Giles start looking into the watcher’s diaries about the first evil - thus stopping the trip to England.
12. Get paid by watcher’s council. God knows they can afford it. Done
13. Find Cameras put up by nerds
14. De-rat Amy. Done
15. Find Rack and take him out. Done
16. Get that Double meat icky lady demon thing. Done
17. Girls night out with Willow.

And there were still things to do. She really had to have that talk with Willow about Magic. She hoped that the engagement party for Xander and Anya would open Xander’s eyes and Anya’s. It’s not that she didn’t want them together. She wanted them to be happy together.

It was time to throw out the list. She debated for a while whether or not she needed a new list and after significant internal debate she decided against it.
__________________________________________
Giles had made up some sort of excuse for Anya not to be at work the next day. Employee of the year or some such thing. It was silly really, cause only Anya and Giles worked there. The scoobies sans Xander used the Anya free Magic box to set up the engagement party to end all engagement parties.

The walls were hung with heavy green cloth. Candles were set up to burn, and Dawn and Willow were at home concocting demon food goodness.

Buffy was busy, laying on her tummy, painting a banner to say ‘Welcome to the Arashamahar Family Xander.’

She was pretty sure he was going to flip. Or maybe it was flip out. She wasn’t sure. She had had confirmations from both Hallfrek and D’Hoffryn, they were both coming to the party.

Buffy checked her watch. She had 20 minutes to get to her dental appointment. Buffy dragged the banner into the training room to dry. She just hoped that Giles didn’t step on it.
__________________________________________
Buffy looked nervously around the dental office. She was quite familiar now with the torture that was the Dentist, having had to spend long hours awaiting her turn to get her dentures fitted or fixed.

But here she was for a check up and cleaning. She was determined to take care of her teeth this time around.

The other people in the dentist office weren’t as entertaining as she had deluded herself into thinking, the magazines were old and gross. Buffy wished that she had brought something to read. Even Moritz’s compendium on demon greetings would be better than sitting here, staring at the wall.

Luckily her boredom was solved by the hygienist calling her name. Walking to the chair as happily as she could Buffy struck up a conversation with the woman who would be cleaning her teeth. Buffy realised right away that the woman was not all she appeared to be. She was a demon of some sort. And the fear radiating off of the hygienist was well...frightening.

“Look, I know that you’re a demon, and You know that I know you are a demon. I’m not here to kill you. I don’t see you doing anything wrong. I’m just here to get my teeth cleaned,” said Buffy.

The hygienist looked visibly less scared but Buffy couldn’t help but feel that the fear was going to be there the entire appointment. This was probably the first time in the history of dentistry where the patient would have to reassure the hygienist.

“So what are you then?” asked Buffy.

“Excuse me?”

“What species are you?”

“Brownie.”

“Huh, cool. Never met one before. I usually meet the bad ones. You know, the vampires, the polgaras, the ones that want to destroy the world.”

Brownie nodded.

“Got a name?”

“Rowan,”

“Pretty.”

“Thanks”

“You don’t have to scared of me you know. I’m really a very nice person once you get to know me. I have demon friends. Well a couple anyway.”

“Anyanka and William the Bloody.”

“Ooh looks like you know more about me than I do about you.”

“Everyone knows about the Slayer. You’re famous.”

“Oh, well thanks,” Buffy blushed and leaned back in the chair. “Well let’s get this show on the road. Slayer’s gotta take care of her pearly whites.”
__________________________________________
tbc...

16__________________________________________
The Crantanouk Champion of Sunnydale is...

“I sorta invited my dental hygienist to the party,” said Buffy to Spike as they were putting the finishing touches on the arrangements. “She’s a Brownie.”

“Rowan Greentree?”

“How’d you know?”

“She’s my hygienist too.”

Buffy laughed. “You go to the dentist? Big Bad, Spike, Slayer of Slayers...goes to the dentist?”

“What?”

“It’s just too funny.”

“Gotta take care of my fangs luv. Fangs make the vamp I’ll have you know.”

“And here I thought it was the body count.”
__________________________________________
D’Hoffryn scorched the hardwood floor when he entered the shop. He took one look at that decor and smiled.

“I’m so glad you could make it,” said Buffy immediately.

“Anyanka was one of my favourites for a millennia. Though it pains me to see her marry beneath her, I am resolved to be supportive.”

Buffy nodded.

“We invited Hallfrek too,” said Buffy just as a flash announced that the demon in question appeared.

Now that everyone of the guests had arrived...all they had to do was wait for the happy couple.
__________________________________________
“I don’t see what the problem is Ahn. I just don’t think it’s appropriate to tell everyone that you used to be a vengeance demon,” said Xander as they walked into the shop.

“Xander why are the lights off?” said Anya.

“Surprise!” screamed everyone, jumping out of the shadows.

Tara did a spell to light all the scattered candles., illuminating all the persons assembled in the shop. Buffy and Dawn had invited all the various acquaintances of Xander and Anya, from Anya’s demon friends and business contacts, to Xander’s construction worker pals.

“Holy mother of god,” whispered Xander as he took in the scene.

“I love it!” cried Anya.

“It’s an engagement party,” explained Dawn.

“I can see that you goose,” Anya reached out to hug Dawn.

“Anyanka!” cried Hallfrek from the back of the room.

“Hallie!”

Needless to say that there was much greeting, all the while Xander was staring horrified at the assorted demons and humans interacting. It wasn’t until he saw the sign that Xander Harris fainted.
__________________________________________
When he came to, he was faced with concerned fiancée and friends who were all standing above him, in party hats.

“What the freak is going on here?” asked Xander.

“It’s your engagement party,” said Dawn...again.

“But there are demons here...” he whispered.

“Yes! Isn’t it wonderful!” beamed Anya.

“I wouldn’t call it wonderful Ahn...”

“I would. Look there’s Rowan your dental hygienist, she’s a Brownie, and over there, Bob from the doughnut shop, he’s a M’haloren.”

“You mean I’ve been buying doughnuts all these years from a demon?” asked the overwhelmed carpenter.

“Yep. Small world isn’t it?”

Willow appeared at his side with a plate of food.

“Here, eat. Food always made you feel better.” Willow thrust the plate at him.

Xander eyed the various weird and wonderful contents of the plate. “What is it?” he asked.

“Oooh, well that there,” said Anya pointing to some brown mush with green things in it, “is corma’nik, and that,” she pointed to some blue cabbagey looking stuff, “is morginnahz, and that there,” she said pointing to some yellow and red kernels that looked kinda like corn but bigger and with spikes on them,” are Portantus.”

“Is it strange that I’ve never heard of this stuff before?” asked a weary Xander.

“Oh no, you can only get this stuff in Arashamahar.”

“Then why is it here? We aren’t trying out caterers are we? Cause my parents won’t eat blue cabbage.”

“Hey! I’ll have you know I worked long and hard on this,” said Willow.

“I helped,” added Dawn proudly.

“R-ight”

“Come on whelp, get your ass off the floor and get to socializing. The Slayer, the Bit and the Witches put a lot of effort into this gathering,” said Spike, hoisting Xander off the floor.

“I’d say it was more of a shindig,” said Willow. “There are going to be games later.”

Xander made a sort of helpless whimper as Anya pushed him towards some of her demon friends.
__________________________________________
Buffy was casually munching on some Portantus watching the championship round of Crantanouk, a demon game, which Buffy could only describe as a cross between Poker, Pictionary, and Dodgeball, except the ball was a handful of slime from a Op‘link demon. She had been knocked out of contention in the second round. She had wiped the floor with Twister though. Dawn had even mentioned that she didn’t know a human body could get into those positions. Buffy had just smiled and said she wasn’t really human. She was the Slayer.

Spike slid up to her and pulled her onto his lap.

“It’s a great party love,” he said into her hair.

Buffy planted a kiss on his cheek and continued to munch. “I don’t think it was Xander’s idea for his engagement party.”

“No, not at all,” snickered Spike.

“I just wanted him to realise what he was getting into with Anya. She has all this great demon heritage behind her. It would be shame if she was forced to not express it.”

“Perhaps it’s something that they have to discuss themselves pet.”

“I agree and I’m not trying to meddle...well maybe a little. But last time it was left up to them and it blew up at the wedding. Bad things happened.”

As expected D’Hoffryn won the game of Crantanouk and it was suddenly time for presents.

Unfortunately the presents in general made Xander greener and greener as the night progressed. Hallfrek gave the couple a blessed flagellation paddle, for the groom’s right of flagellation, D’Hoffryn gave a large quantity of burlap and three buckets of blood larva, for the bride’s maids dresses. Bob the Doughnut guy gave the couple 2 dozen doughnuts filled with corma’nik filling, which Buffy had tried, and was surprisingly yummy. Bob had even promised to supply the reception with the doughnuts. Dawn gave a Marriage for Dummies book and Spike and Buffy had gone to the sex toy shop for their gift.

Giles’ contribution was the gift everyone passed around. The normal humans, who still thought that D’Hoffryn and Clem were dressed up in costumes, thought it was a joke, but Xander knew better. Some how, Giles had found a copy of that Arashamahar best seller: “Living with a Vengeance Demon, a Survival Guide.”

Anya insisted that it would be Xander’s bed time reading until the wedding.

Xander balked at the idea that he was going to read it at all.

Willow and Tara had complied an Arashamahar cookbook. Truth was that Willow was really into demon cooking now. Buffy had been threatened with something called Kweenriel for dinner when it was Willow’s turn next to make supper.

She was willing to try anything once.
__________________________________________
Buffy snuggled up to her mate in bed after all the guests had gone home.

“You know Willow wanted to throw us a Claiming party...” she began.

Spike snorted.

“Ya I didn’t think you’d like that.”

“Claims are meant to be private and meaningful. Not a bloody parade for the plebes.”

“They just want to be happy for us.”

“Can they be happy for us without 76 bloody trombones?”

“What’s wrong with that? You said when I sussed out what I wanted there would be a parade with 76 trombones.”

“Was being facetious love.”

Buffy smiled.

“Well I’ve made up my mind already. Get with the trombone-ing.”

“If you say so,” he said as he rolled on top of her and turned out the light.
__________________________________________
Xander regained his ability to speak and process thought in time to celebrate Thanksgiving with the Scoobies.

Unfortunately for Buffy she had been persuaded to make Thanksgiving dinner again. Sure she was more confident in her cooking abilities, but it would have been nice if people had agreed to help. The only one she had managed to coerce into helping her was Spike. But he said that there was no way he was taking responsibility for the disaster that the meal would inevitably turn out to be. So she whacked him on the head.

Buffy enjoyed being let loose in the kitchen, she came up with her best ideas while she was stirring. In fact the best idea she had ever had popped into her head at that very moment.

She could find the scythe by herself, before the first started getting interested in it. She could find a spell to make there only be one slayer. She didn’t care if it was her or not. That was the whole point. The first had decided to make it’s move because there was imbalance, because there was two slayers.

Buffy let out an audible squeal of delight as she stirred the gravy. She looked over at Spike, diligently peeling potatoes. He was even gorgeous when he was going menial labour. Something for which he was never destined to do. He was Childer, not a minion. She couldn’t help but think that somehow they had completely ruined his unlife. He was The Slayer of Slayers, not a house vamp.

“What was that about?” asked Spike, referring to the squeal.

“Nothing, just ...Well it’s nothing you have to worry about.”

“R-ight,” he said, turning his attention back to the potatoes. “It doesn’t have to do with your bloody teeth does it?”

Buffy smiled. “No, but now that you mention them...”

“Spare me please.”

Buffy laughed.

“I thought you said that fangs made the vampire? Should me wanting to take care of my teeth and appreciating them garner me some esteem from the fanged crowd?”

“Is she talking about her teeth again?” asked Dawn. “I vote for having them taken out in the middle of the night, so we don’t have to hear about it any more.”

Buffy gasped. “You wouldn’t dare!”

“Wouldn’t I?” said Dawn evilly, as she grabbed an apple and exited the kitchen.

Buffy was distracted from retorting by the phone ringing, and Willow coming into the room to hand her the handset.

“It’s your father,” said Willow seriously.

Buffy took the phone hesitantly.

“Daddy?” she whispered.
__________________________________________
tbc...

__________________________________________
Chapter 17: Thanksgiving with the Summers

“He’s coming for dinner,” said Buffy as she returned to her gravy, after she had handed the phone to Dawn. “He just invited himself over. In fact he‘s in the car on his way right now.”

“You don’t sound happy about that luv,” said Spike as he finished off the last of the potatoes.

“Why should I feel happy about it? I haven’t seen my father since his funeral, in which I found out that he had a whole other family that he never told us about.”

“He’s bringing some woman called Caprice,” said Dawn as she plopped down on a bar stool around the island.

“That would be her.”

“Her what?”

“Caprice, the step mom.”

“Huh?”

“Caprice will be our step mom, and Dad won’t tell us about it or even invite us to the wedding.”

“Why not?”

“Cause after tonight, Caprice will think we hate her. And she won’t be far off.”
__________________________________________
Buffy looked around the table. Everyone was chewing in silence. It was sad really. Everyone was petrified of saying the wrong thing in front of Hank and Caprice.

Not that Buffy blamed them. The thing was that she wasn’t afraid. In fact she wanted to see her dad’s face when someone mentioned demons or vampires.

Spike was carefully sipping his blood from a mug, and Anya was discretely munching on some Portantus.

“So Dad, I think it’s time I told you something. I’m a Vampire Slayer,” said Buffy between bites of mashed potatoes that had been pulverized to perfection by a slightly irate vampire.

Hank Summers spat out his wine. “Excuse me? Vampire Slayer? That nonsense that we had to put you in the home for?”

“That’s right Dad. Except I’m not crazy. Vampires are real. Demons are real and I fight the bad ones.”

“Oh this is ridiculous.” Hank dropped his fork on his plate. “I don’t have to sit here and listen to this crazy talk.”

“Although I do not agree with your daughter’s way of disclosing the information to you Mr Summers, Buffy is telling the truth,” said Giles. “Buffy is a Slayer, the one girl in all the world chosen...”

“That’s a load of crap,” interrupted Hank.

“It’s not a load of crap,” said Dawn forcefully.

“That’s right!” said Anya, “I was once a vengeance demon, I feared the Slayer until I was cast into this mortal coil once more to life and die as a human.”

“What about him?” asked Caprice pointing to Spike.

Buffy smiled. “He’s a vampire.”

Hank laughed out loud. “Really let’s see his fangs then, he looks like just another punk kid if you ask me.”

“Spike’s no kid Mr Summers,” said Tara.

“He’s 121 in vamp years,” said Dawn proudly.

“And them?” asked Caprice pointing at Tara and Willow.

“Witches,” supplied Xander,

“And I’m a mystical Key that opens portals between dimensions,” said Dawn. “I was created last year, I’m not really your daughter!”

“Dawn, you don’t know what you are saying! I remember you being born, bringing you home from the hospital.”

“The result of a spell,” said Giles, cleaning his glasses. “Buffy do you really think that this was wise? Telling your father and his friend about all of this.”

“Oh I think this was an excellent time to discuss this. It just made up my mind to take Dawn away from all this madness,” said Hank.

“I won’t go!” yelled Dawn.

“You can’t take her, Dad, she’s not yours. I’ll have them do a paternity test,” said Buffy. “And don’t you dare say that mom cheated on you. Dawn’s mine. She was made from me. She was made from my blood. She’s mine and Spike’s.”

Spike dropped his glass of blood, creating a puddle of red liquid in the middle of his empty plate.

“Ewww, is that blood?” said Caprice.

“Got yourself a real brain surgeon there Hank,” said Spike. “What did you mean about Dawn being mine and yours Slayer?”

Buffy gulped. “I think that was something I forgot to mention in our little secret tell all session...”

“Dear Lord,” muttered Giles.

“Ya think?” shouted Spike.

“Squee!” clapped Dawn.

“I always thought that Dawn looked a little like Spike,” said Anya, “Dawn doesn't look a thing like Buffy.”

Everyone turned to look at Anya. “Portantus?” she said offering her small bowl of the treats. “What?”
__________________________________________
Hank Summers ranted and raved for an hour before he decided that it wasn’t worth the effort and plopped down in front of the TV to watch Football.

Buffy stared disbelievingly at her father. She just couldn’t believe that he was still in her house given his outburst. It was completely like him to make everyone move to accommodate him. Spike was sulking off in a corner because he wanted to watch a Man U game instead of the Raiders game that Hank was watching. Spike had this strange notion that he should be nice to her dad.

Buffy crossed the room and turned the channel to Spike’s international Sports channel.

“Sorry Dad, but it’s Spike’s house, and he’s been looking forward to this game for a week.” Buffy tossed the remote to her mate and walked out of the living room.

“What do you mean that it’s his house?” asked her father getting up and following her into the kitchen.

“Spike lives here. He’s my mate. Vampire equivalent to marriage actually. In essence he’s my husband.”

“Excuse me?”

“Congrats Buffy!” said Caprice happily bounding into the kitchen. “Anya just told me that you were recently mated!”

Buffy smiled.

“Thanks Caprice.”

“Are you planning a human ceremony soon? I’d love to come. I love interspecies weddings, they are just so fun. Anya was telling me about her union with Xander. And the engagement party! What a great idea! I just wish Rowan would have let me know she was going.”

“You know Rowan Greentree?”

“She’s my cousin.”

“You’re a Brownie?”

Caprice nodded.

“You’re a what?” exploded Hank.

“The woman you love Hank dear,” Caprice said to Hank. “I was so scared when your father told me who you were. Rowan told me the Slayer’s name last year. When I met Hank it never occurred to me that he was the father of the Slayer. I mean, it’s so strange! Imagine a Brownie falling for the Slayer’s father!”

Buffy smiled weakly. “But you didn’t know that Spike was a vampire?”

“No, I’ve never seen William the Bloody in person, and Brownies don’t have a sense to tell the difference between demons and humans, just that they aren’t Brownies.”

“I did not know that.”

“William the what?” asked Hank.

“William the Bloody, Dad, Slayer of Slayers is my mate. I call him Spike. In public anyway.”

“What do you call him in private?” asked Anya coming into the kitchen. “Have you got anymore Portantus?”

“No I think that was the last of it. Ask Willow to whip up some more,” said Buffy.

“I think Willow and Tara went up stairs for some post feast sex...”

Buffy looked at her father expecting an outburst. He just stood there his mouth gaping.

“Willow and Tara are lesbians, Dad.”

“I need to sit down,” said her father trudging back to the living room.

“Huh, Vamps and demons he can handle...Lesbians not so much.”
__________________________________________
“So did it go like last time?” asked Anya after Hank and Caprice had gone back to LA, Giles had left for home and Spike and Xander were watching Monty Python’s Meaning of Life. Dawn had fallen asleep on the couch.

“Not really, no,” said Buffy. “Last time, I was all I was pulled from Heaven Girl. I was having secret sex sessions with Spike and beating him up at the same time. Giles wasn’t here. Willow and Tara were broken up, so Tara didn’t come. Dawn wasn’t speaking to me. It was a very different Thanksgiving last time.”

“But was this one better?”

“Absolutely.”
__________________________________________
“So you gonna ask Buffy to marry you?” asked Xander as he sat on one side of the sleeping Dawn.

“I don’t know what business it is of yours whelp,” responded Spike.

“I ask, because I’ve been instructed by my fiancée to do some intelligence gathering.”

“Which means Buffy subtlety let Anya know that she was wondering as well.”

“The womenfolk have their own ways of finding things out. It’s scary.”

“And you’re a bloody cog in the machine.”

“Hey, if I want to get laid tonight, I do what I’m told.”

Spike snickered.

“So?” prodded Xander.

“I’ll ask the bint when I’m good and ready.”

“So that’s a yes?”

“That’s a yes.”

More than half the movie passed before the two men spoke again.

“You tell anyone that I sat and watched Python with you I’ll bloody tear out your soddin’ throat.”

Xander nodded.

“Duly noted.”
__________________________________________
tbc...

__________________________________________
Chapter 18: Mole Girl

Buffy reluctantly left the warmth of her bed and the loving arms of her mate, shovel in hand and set out for the vineyard. She knew that Spike was going to be disappointed when he found out she wasn’t at home when he woke up, not only because he liked waking up beside her, but because he was having one of those dreams.

It was curious all the side effects of the claim. Buffy could feel when he was turned on, which frankly was like every time she walked into the room, she could feel when he was hurt and she could tell when he was thinking about her.

It was a nice feeling, to know that she was so loved.

Buffy arrived at the vineyard expecting it to be abandoned. But it wasn’t. It shocked the hell out of her to actually see the place active. Buffy decided that maybe going in through the main door was not the best idea out there. It had been a while, but she thought she remembered where the sewer entrance was. Buffy entered the sewers with confidence that she would find the entrance soon.

Turning a corner and squaring her shoulders, she marched on ahead.

An hour later she still hadn’t found what she was looking for.

“You would think that the entrance would be here,” Buffy groaned in frustration.

The problem was, that she was lost. Very very lost. She could be anywhere under Sunnydale. Buffy exhaled deeply. It was inevitable, if she wanted to get out of the sewers this millennium, she was going to need help. And the sad thing was that he was never going to let her live it down.
__________________________________________
Across town and much more above ground, Spike was startled from his sleep. Shaking his head to clear it, he looked about the room to find the person that was foremost in his thoughts at that moment. Buffy.

Spike whipped off the covers from his nude form, and grabbed his pants. It was almost a secondary thought to put them on before he opened the door that led into the hallway. Spike sniffed the air of the house to determine that his mate was not in fact in the house.

Spike grabbed his boots, a tee and his duster. He knew that Buffy needed him. He didn’t know where she was and that bothered him.

Spike pulled his duster over his head and headed outside into the sunny December morning.
__________________________________________
Buffy was getting tired of standing there. She couldn’t sit. She was standing in the freakin’ sewer after all. She stretched her legs. Spike was going to be all smug about finding her too.

Sure enough, Spike turned the corner and Buffy breathed. Unfortunately. She nearly gagged. Sewers not so pleasant smelling.

“Do you want to tell me why you are standing, with a shovel, under the Walmart?” asked Spike.

“Walmart? Good grief. I’m lost. How did I get under Walmart?”

“Where are you heading?”

“The Vineyard.”

“To do what?”

“It’s a thing, there’s a thing, a sharp metal pointy thing...”

“Buffy...”

“Ok, I need this scythe, it’s buried under the vineyard. It helped me defeat the First evil the first time.”

“Right then...this way,” said Spike without another word

Buffy picked up her shovel and followed after him.

“I’m sorry I woke you up.”

Spike snorted. “You are not, you were bloody lost, who else was going to help you out of the bind? The whelp? Couldn’t find his way out of a bag that one.”

Buffy chuckled. “I couldn’t very well get anyone else to help me could I? Don’t have a claim with any of them. Do I?”

Spike smiled. “No, you don’t.”

“And I don’t have Xander’s Toy tattooed on my ass do I?”

“Not unless you got it done since last night...”

“You wanna check now?” she offered.

Suddenly Buffy felt herself get caught up in Spike’s arms. Buffy leaned in to be kissed.

“I love only you Spike,” she purred between kisses. “But I really don’t want to do it in the sewer.”
__________________________________________
With Spike’s help, Buffy found the sewer entrance to the vineyard’s cellar. Unfortunately they discovered that it was going to need at least a jackhammer to get into the block of stone that Buffy said the scythe was encased in.

“Can’t you just magic it out?” asked Spike, lighting a cigarette.

“I could, but then again I could have magicked up myself some new teeth too, but I didn’t. Magic always has consequences.”

“Someone bloody brilliant came up with that line.”

“Fishing for a compliment are you? Alright. You said it Spike. You’re ‘Bloody Brilliant.’ Happy?”

Spike smirked.

“So how you propose to get the sharp pointy thing out of the hunk of rock then?”

“Right now? I’m thinking pick axes and sledge hammers.”

“Bugger, you want me to help don’t you?”

“Was thinking about persuading you, yes.”
__________________________________________
Buffy and Spike, returned dirty from walking around in the sewers to hear Anya and Xander shouting in the living room.

Why they were having a fight in her house, Buffy couldn’t understand.

“What’s up guys?” said the slayer trying to be positive.

“God, Buffy what happened, you look like you’ve been trapped in the sewers,” said Anya

“Cause I don’t ever do that...”

“Oh, did you have fun in the sewer then?” asked Anya happily.

“Not so much.”

“What the bloody hell are you and the whelp doing in our house, having a row?” asked Spike.

“Oh that’s not important now,” said Anya. “What is important is that the amount of money we are spending on this wedding is directly proportionate to number of fights we have about it.”

“So it’s what, 500$ a fight?” asked Buffy.

“Roughly,” nodded Anya.

“Hmm, so what was the fight about this time?”

“Apparently I’m not respecting her demon traditions,” said Xander.

Buffy nodded.

“I merely asked if you were willing to participate in the flagellating. And suddenly I’m getting lectured about the vile demons and the grossness of the food and weirdness of my demon family. I’m sorry if I don’t have crazy drunk parents like yours.”

“Hey! I think that’s hitting below the belt! No more hitting, down there!”

“And telling me that we shouldn’t have my demon friends at the wedding at all cause they aren’t normal or important isn’t? They are important to me Xander!”

“Buffy back me up here, I just can’t let my normal human parents around vengeance demons. Bad things could happen, I mean just one I wish statement from my mom and it’s alternate reality time.”

Buffy put up her hands in defence. “I am so not taking sides here Xander. This is something you two have to work out yourselves.”

“And work it out in your own house!” said Spike angrily.
__________________________________________
For an entire week, Buffy returned home completely covered in dirt and debris. Spike had helped out for the first few days, but had eventually found excuses not to dig.

Buffy had thought about ranting at him that she was dong this to save his undead life...but thought the better of it. She really didn’t need more complications to her plan. If it even really was a plan.

Dawn was off of school now and studying for her Christmas exams, so were Willow and Tara. It was surprising really, to Buffy, that Willow had actually toned down her magic use, despite the fact that Amy was still very heavily into the witchcraft.

Buffy could only hope that everything would be rainbows and puppies in Willow land this Christmas.

Buffy stepped into the shower to wash today’s dirt and grime from her body. Dawn had started referring to her as mole girl to the other scoobies, and to tell you the truth it wasn’t really not deserved.

The warm water was welcome to her weary bones. Buffy had reached out to grab her shampoo when she accidentally knocked over a new bottle in the shower. Buffy groaned as she stretched her tired muscles to pick up the bottle. As the water dripped down her nose she read the label, ‘intensive care for dry damaged colour treated hair.’ Must be Spike’s she thought.

It was comforting how he seamlessly just fit into their lives. Buffy wrapped her arms around her sudsy self and exhaled contentedly. She just hoped that her plan with the scythe would work.
__________________________________________
When Buffy exited the shower there was an irate Dawn standing outside tapping her foot.

“You can’t ignore me forever you know...” began her sister.

“Ignore you about what?” asked Buffy innocently, clutching at the towel that covered her frame.

“Come on! I know you told Spike, why can’t you tell me?”

Buffy looked at her sister incredulously. “I honestly don’t know what you are talking about Dawn. I’m in a friggin towel in the middle of the hallway. You are going to have to enlighten me.”

“How I’m made of Spike and you.”

“Ohhhhh,” said Buffy now realising what the conversation was about. “Sorry, I’m old, sometimes, it just leaks out my brain.”

“Ya, ya you are old, not like I haven’t heard that excuse before. So tell already.”

“Right, ok, when you were pregnant with Eleanor, you went on this personal mission to find out as much as you possibly could about the monks and how they made you. You found the spell that they used to turn the key into you and started to translate it.”

Buffy yanked her sliding towel back up.

“Well?”

“Well, you translated the spell, found out that the spell had been modified from it’s original. That you were supposed to be a copy made from me, but that the monks, they chose to blend my DNA with someone else’s, so that you didn‘t turn out to be a clone.”

“How did you find out it was Spike?”

“I didn’t find out anything Dawnie.”

“How did I find it out then?”

“You had the council do a paternity test on yourself.”

“But I didn’t have options of who my DNA donor was.”

“No, but attach a spell to that puppy and whoosh, there were sparks. Spikes actually.”

“So was there like a big red light that whooshed him?”

“No, cause he was dead.”

“Then how?”

“Your big red light found something I had kept that had Spike’s DNA on it.”

“What was it?”

“I am so not telling you that.” Buffy blushed.

“And that’s how I knew...”

“And that’s how you knew... Can I get dressed now?”
__________________________________________
Christmas morning, Buffy was delighted by the scads of presents under the tree. Most of them seemed to be for her too. Unfortunately she caught on to her friends’ game half way through the present opening. Everyone had decided to get Buffy gag gifts too. Willow had given her a collection of toothbrushes, Amy dental floss, Xander toothpaste, Dawn Polident, and Anya a denture case.

It also seemed that some of the practical gifts were teeth related too. Giles had put a mouth guard in her stocking, and Anya gave her an electric toothbrush.

“Ok, I get the point!” said Buffy looking with puzzlement as she held up another bottle of mouthwash.
__________________________________________
It was on an early January morning that Buffy trudged home, completely covered in dirt, but confidently griping her scythe.

She had spent much of the Christmas holiday hacking away at that block of stone. Actually she spent a lot of time since thanksgiving stuck in that vineyard cellar. Probably not the best way of going about not ignoring Dawn, or helping Xander and Anya with their problems or Willow with her magic overuse.

She hadn’t been thinking about them at all. The focus was Spike. She couldn’t let him die, not again. Buffy stashed the Scythe in her bedroom closet and threw herself into the shower.

When she immerged, clean and no longer like the mole person she once was, she saw Spike sitting on their bed looking at the weapon from a cross the room, her closet door still wide open.

“This it then?” he asked.

“Yep, the reason Buffy’s been all mole person,” she said sitting next to him clad only in a towel.

“You gonna resurface now?”

“Yeah, I’m done with the digging.”

“Missed you,” he said sadly, gathering her into his arms.

“I missed you too,” she said into his shoulder.
__________________________________________
Buffy reappeared at her spot at the Magic Box the next day, eager to resume her normal life, which included her thesis on vampire mating and family structures, being maid of honour to Anya, annoying older sister to Dawn and dutiful slayer to Giles.

“You aren’t covered in dirt!” exclaimed Anya happily.

“Nope, dirt free today.”

“I was beginning to wonder if you were ever going to rejoin us clean people.”

Buffy laughed.

“I’m sorry I’ve been unavailable for such a long time. I had something to find.” Buffy took the scythe out from its finding spot under the table.

“Wow, that is a very impressive weapon.”

“Shiny too. So where’s Giles? I want to show and tell.”

“He’s found fault with my inventory again. It is possible that he accused me of stealing the burba weed this morning. I couldn’t tell, he was muttering in that extremely strange British way he has.”

Buffy chuckled.

“I know who’s stealing your burba weed, Anya, just charge it to me.”

“Spike.”

“Spike, he likes to think he’s still evil.”

Giles emerged from the store room pleased to see Buffy at her spot at the table.

“Look Giles! I have a shiny pointy thingy!” said the Slayer pleasantly.

Giles was instantly mesmerized by the scythe. It took him at least a full 45 minutes to regain the ability to process conversation.

“Where did you find this Buffy?” he finally asked.

“The vineyard, it’s been there for centuries. It was meant for Slayers. I can feel it. Like it was meant for me.”

“Extraordinary. Does it have a name?”

“I think so... the only thing coming to mind though is question mark. I don’t know, it’s been a while since I had to explain it. Plus I had to give this baby away to another slayer when I stopped slaying.”

“Why did you stop slaying?” asked Anya

“I got old.”

“Oh that makes sense.”

“Buffy, may I take this to discover...” trailed off Giles.

“Oh yes, by all means, discover away,” said Buffy. “But I will need it back.”

“Oh yes of course,” said the watcher looking intently at his Slayer’s newest toy.
__________________________________________
Dawn strolled into the magic shop after her school day whistling a jaunty tune, but stopped dead in her tracks as she beheld her sister sitting a the table.

“Buffy! You’re clean!”

“Oh good lord,” said Buffy. “I really wasn’t down there that long.”

“You mean you don’t like being reminded that you’ve been mole girl for like ever?”

“Hardly.”

“I think that Buffy regrets her decision to be a subterranean dweller for the past month. We should not make sport of her new found delight in the above ground world,” declared Anya.

“Thank you Anya,” said Buffy, “I think.”
__________________________________________
tbc...


__________________________________________
Singing Spike

“What would you say if I got my hair cut today?” asked Buffy in bed.

“You know I love this hair,” said her mate, running his fingers through the blond tresses.

“I know, but maybe I need a new look...”

“That’s bollocks!”

“Maybe. But that doesn’t change anything.”

“Do you want to cut your bleedin’ hair?” he said rolling towards her.

“Would it make you terribly angry if I did cut my hair?”

“Bloody Hell!” he exhaled. “Are you very badly trying to tell me something? Cause I don’t go in for those cryptic mumbo jumbo sessions you and Angelus used to have.”

“Good grief!” she shouted. “Why did you have to bring him into it? I just wanted to know...”

“If I was bloody ok with you cutting your soddin’ hair,” he said exasperated.

“Well are you?”

“NO!”

“Ok then, you don’t have to shout.”
__________________________________________
“Ok, do we have food in the fridge?” Buffy was pacing the kitchen floor.

Dawn opened the fridge. “Check,” noted the teen.

“Are the weapons stored?”

Buffy heard a thump from upstairs and then the pitter patter of wiccan feet.

“Willow dropped something,” explained Tara.

“Weapons away, check,” said Willow.

“Demon/vampire/witch related items?” continued Buffy.

“Check,” said Tara nodding.

Spike appeared before the assembled women, clad in only his jeans and headed straight for the fridge.

“I think you forgot something on that list,” said Dawn, looking at her ‘brother-in-law.’

“Oh god,” murmured the slayer. “Spike! What are you doing?”

“Getting the day off to a good start. Breakfast is the most important meal I’ll have you know,” explained the vampire, getting his blood out of the fridge.

“Gah! Ok, then take your blood and your semi nude body and go back upstairs!”

Spike poured the pigs blood into the new mug he got for Christmas from Dawn that said Bite Me.

“Ashamed of the vampire are we?” Spike put his mug into the microwave and hit the beverage button.

Tara, Willow and Dawn chuckled.

“Spike! Social services is coming this morning!”

“Doesn’t this production seem a bit like you’ve been tipped off?”

“It didn’t go well last time, Mr I stopped by for my lighter! I want things perfect!”

The kitchen was filled with a beeping noise from the microwave.

“Right then, I’d best be off. Up to our room with me, to hide in shame at what a horrible creature I am.”

He popped the door to the appliance and took his steaming mug of blood out.

“Spike... I’m sorry,” murmured Buffy.

Spike broke into a huge smile. “I’m just taking the piss outta you, Slayer.” Spike pecked his mate on the cheek and trod back upstairs.

“What does that mean?” asked Dawn.
__________________________________________
Xander arrived to take Dawn to school as per usual. He was treated to the loud song stylings of Spike the vampire singing ‘Anarchy in the UK’ upstairs.

Xander raised his eye brows in puzzlement.

“I think he’s being immature today,” said Buffy. “He’s been singing every Sex pistols song he knows since he went up there. You should have heard him sing ‘Friggin in the Riggin,’ it was priceless.”

“Too bad I missed it then,” said Xander almost honestly.

“I recorded it...”

“Ooh look at the time, Dawn!”

Dawn and Xander were well away from Revello drive by the time that Doris Kroger darkened Buffy’s doorstep.

At 9 am precisely, the doorbell rang. Spike had just finished singing ‘This is not a Love song.’ Buffy gave one last shush in the direction of the stairs and opened the door to reveal Doris Kroger, clip board in hand.

“Oh, good morning. You must be Buffy. I'm Doris Kroger, from Social Services.” The middle aged woman took out an ID and flashed it before Buffy. “We had an appointment?”

“Yes! Of course, come in Ms Kroger,” said Buffy with a smile.

“Dawn off to school then?” asked the social worker entering the house.

“Oh yes, she left a little while ago.” Buffy closed the door behind the woman. “Perhaps we can have this discussion in the living room?”

Doris nodded and followed Buffy into the living room, seating herself on the big red couch.

Buffy opened her mouth to speak only to be cut off by the opening to ‘Streets of London.’

Buffy groaned. “That’s my partner, he’s cleaning, excuse me, please for a moment.”

Buffy made to get up only to hear the thump of Spike’s feet on the stairs and the jingle of mugs. Spike poked his head into the living room and stopped singing mid verse.

“You could have bloody told me to shut up, Buffy,” he said apologetically.

“And miss your aria, never!” protested Buffy with a smile. “Ms Kroger, this is William Darlington, my partner.”

“Pleased to meet you. You uh, live here?”

“Yes, he does,” supplied Buffy. “William, why don’t you come and join us? After you put on a shirt?”

Spike looked down at his shirtless chest and shrugged, then turned towards the kitchen.

“And how long has Mr Darlington been living here?” asked Ms Kroger.

“Since November.”

Doris nodded and wrote something down on her clip board.

“And how does Dawn feel about this man in the house?”

“Won’t bloody stop asking me when I’m going to marry her sister, actually,” said Spike coming up from the basement wearing...a white tee shirt.

Buffy’s eyes bugged out of her head. He was wearing something other than black. This was a momentous occasion.

“And what do you do? Mr Darlington?”

“I work with Buffy.”

“It says here that you are unemployed Ms Summers.”

“Oh well that’s outdated then isn’t it? William and I are security professionals.”

“Name of your employer?”

“Watcher’s Council. They are based in England.”

Doris made a note on her clip board.

“And the name of your immediate superior?”

“Uh...That would have to be Giles, Rupert Giles.”

More scribbling on the clip board.

“Buffy!” shouted another voice from the kitchen, “Did Willow make any more Portanus?”

Anya

Anya walked into the living room munching on a doughnut.

“Oh look you have company,” said Anya between chews.

“Yes, Anya this is Ms Kroger from social services.”

“Oh right, you’re the lady that could take Dawn away from Buffy and Spike. Do you know that you’ve made my Maid of Honor neglect her honouring duties for a whole week so she could get ready for this visit? I mean do you honestly think that Dawn needs more attention? She’s got the whole Scooby crew at her beck and call. I even have to let her win at Monopoly! It’s cruel.”

“Anya...”

“No, I’m not finished ranting. I’m getting married, Dawn’s one of the bride’s maids, don’t you think she should be showering attention on me instead of the other way around?”

“Uh..” Doris was a little pressed for what to say.

“You don’t have to say anything, I usually leave strangers speechless. I just came over for more Portanus, Willow makes them.”

“Willow is upstairs,” said Buffy.

“Ok,” Anya bounced off towards the stairs. Before she exited the room though, she turned back and took a look at Spike. “Are you wearing a white shirt?”

“I’m sorry about that. Anya always speaks her mind,” said Buffy apologetically.

“And what Miss...”

“Jenkins.”

“And what Miss Jenkins was saying?”

“All true,” said Spike.

“Dawn has a book report due next week, so we decided to read the book together.”

More scribbling. Doris turned her head as she heard yet more people coming down the stairs. Anya returned to the living room.

“Ok, I’m leaving now, I do have a job you know. Just had to get the wiccan lovers to get up off their lazy butts and make me some snacks. Oh and Buffy we have fittings on Friday.”

“Thanks Anya,” said Buffy.

“So who all exactly live in this house?” asked the Social worker.

“Well, William and I, Dawn of course and Willow Rosenburg and Tara McClay,” said Buffy.

Tara and Willow poked their heads into the room and waved.

“They are students at UC Sunnydale.”

More scribbling.
__________________________________________
Doris Kroger left 1630 Revello drive with the promise of more visits but no change in status. Buffy didn’t know if she was happy about this or not. At least she wasn’t on probation.

The thing was that she sorta wished that the geeks were still at large so she could play invisible girl on Ms Kroger again. Feeling sorry for herself Buffy curled up on the couch and turned on the TV.

“Authorities are still on the look out for escaped thief Warren Meers, who broke out of this prison cell last week,” said the mews reporter.

“Ah crap,” muttered Buffy.
__________________________________________
Buffy was muttering to herself in the kitchen. If one looked at Willow’s face, you would think that Buffy was possessed.

“Buffy? Uh, what’s wrong?” asked Willow stirring the pot of portanus.

“He’s out, Warren, stupid police. I should have known that they’d muck it up.”

“Ok.....Calm down?”

“I can’t calm down Wills, He’s bad.”

“Ok, but what can you do? You don’t know where he is? Oooh maybe a locator spell, you want me to do?”

“Thanks but we’d need something of his to do the spell.”

“Buffy bot!”

“Huh?”

“I still have pieces of Buffy bot,”

“That’s weird Willow, and random.”

“For the locator spell. Warren made her.”

“See there’s the Willow thinking I know and love. Where are the parts Wills?”

“Uh, under my bed.”

“Ok again with the weird and random.”
__________________________________________
Buffy pulled the remains of the Buffy bot from underneath Willow and Tara’s bed. It was just a torso and an arm.

“If I didn’t think that Wills had issues before...” Buffy trailed off.

“Uh, Buffy?” asked Tara in the doorway.

“Oh, I have to do a locator spell on Warren.”

“Ok, but why is the Buffy bot in my room?”

“It was under your bed.”

“Excuse me?”

“Ya, I know, it’s weird.”

“Willow put it there?”

“I’m sensing there are going to be words between you two aren’t there?”

“Oh ya,”

“Help me with the spell?”

“You know you don’t need the help Buffy.”

“Maybe, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want it.”

Tara smiled.

Suddenly from down the hall Tara and Buffy heard Spike start in on his rendition of ‘Schools are Prisons.’
__________________________________________
tbc...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


__________________________________________
Chapter 20: Warren

Buffy bolted out of the house after the completion of the locator spell. The spell said that he was hiding out at the Sunnydale arms hotel. Don't all evil bad guys stay there? Why didn’t the police check there first? probably cause they were the Sunnydale PD.

Buffy kicked in Warren’s door with grim determination on her face.

“I was wondering when you were going to find me...” came Warren’s voice from the bed in the centre of the room. “Slayer?” he sounded shocked.

“You were expecting the Easter Bunny?”

“Police actually. Doesn’t matter though.” Warren reached under a pillow and pulled out a gun.

“Wow, I didn’t see that coming at all,” Buffy noted raising her hands.

“Why not?” asked Warren surprised. “I mean come on everyone has a gun.”

“I don’t,” said Buffy. “Swords, axes, a Troll hammer, a very nice assortment of crossbows, but no guns.”

“Good for me then,” said Warren.

“Of course I don’t need a gun,” said Buffy with a lilt in her voice.

“And why is that?” asked Warren, getting up off the end of the bed and walking towards her.

“Cause I don’t need a gun.” Buffy allowed Warren to get even closer before she reached out and took the gun right out of his hand, but not before Warren pulled the trigger.
__________________________________________
Across town Spike sat up and clutched his chest. He had dozed off while watching passions again, off in his own little dream world, where Buffy wore only skimpy lingerie. Whatever had startled him from his sleep had caused him to start panting. Spike looked about the living room trying to find out what had woken him up. Willow was still puttering around in the kitchen. He had left Buffy and Tara doing mojo up in the Wicca’s room. Spike reached out with his senses to locate his mate.

She wasn’t in the house.

She was in pain.

Spike jumped off the couch and flew upstairs. Barging into the Wicca’s room, Tara was cleaning up the remains of the spell.

“Where is she?” he asked.

“Sunnydale Arms...it...it’s where the spell said Warren was,” said Tara.

Spike didn’t wait around for more explanation. Grabbing his coat, and holding it over his head, Spike took off outside, jumping down into the protection of the sewers as soon as he could.
__________________________________________
Spike arrived underneath the Sunnydale Arms hotel in record time. Pulling his coat over his head once more Spike emerged from the sewers and followed her scent which led him to an open door. Room 35 was open to just anyone who wanted to come in. The sheets on the bed were ripped, there was a large crack in the plaster of the wall just to the right of the door and a bullet hole in the door itself.

But the item of note was the splatters of Buffy’s blood on the carpet in front of the door.

Buffy is hurt, bleeding.

Spike turned and headed out the door. He had to find her. He had a feeling that Warren had already done something that Spike would have pleasure making him regret.
__________________________________________
Dawn walked into Sunnydale minimum security detention centre with purpose. She was determined to meet Andrew Wells, regardless if he was in prison or not.

Dawn had breezed by the security, saying that she was his cousin. The guards seemed to be a complete joke. Some were playing cards, others were sleeping on the job. It was a wonder that anyone stayed locked up here very long at all.

Dawn sat down at the booth and waited for Andrew to show up. After what seemed like an eternity, Andrew was escorted in by a very displeased guard.

Andrew slid into the cheap plastic chair forlornly and looked through the glass to his visitor. His shock was apparent.

“What...what are you doing here?” he asked.

Dawn stared back at him for a moment.

“I...I wanted to meet one of the people that made my sister’s life miserable.”

“Well you came you gawked. Leave me alone.”

“No, I came here to meet you, not to gawk.”

Andrew shifted uncomfortably in his chair.

“Buffy seems to think that you can be rehabilitated. That you would make a good watcher.”

Andrew’s face lit up in a smile. “She really thinks so?”

“I don’t know why...You seem like an annoying little man to me. But it doesn’t matter what I think. Buffy is the Slayer.”

“What do I have to do?”

“Well stop trying to take over Sunnydale, why would you want this town? It majorly sucks.”

Andrew nodded.

“Oh and you could tell the police everything you know about Warren and where he could be. That would be very helpful.”

“I can’t betray Warren, he’s my friend.”

“Would a real friend let his friend get caught by the police? And then escape without them? Huh?”

“I see your point...”
__________________________________________
“You know it’s a lot easier to drag your sorry ass if you would just keep still!” yelled Buffy at the tied up form of Warren before her. He was covered in mud, no doubt due to the fact that Buffy had been dragging him towards the police station via the back roads and alleys.

Buffy had stopped, to take a break. She reached up to her shoulder and touched the bullet wound. It looked a lot worse than it really was. She had only been caught off guard a bit really. She had managed to deflect the bullet away magically in time to keep from getting too badly hurt.

Spike is really gonna let you have it when you get yourself home Buffy Anne Summers.

It was only a flesh wound, but she was going to get yelled at none the less.

Buffy exhaled and moved to pick up the criminal by the shoulders again. Only this time she lost her footing and landed sprawled on her butt.

“Bloody Hell,” she muttered as she righted herself.

Seventy Five years of living in England did things to your vocabulary.

Buffy clapped her hands together to get the grime off and looked at her captive, who had managed to get himself up off the ground too.

She shook her head. “You never learn do you?”

Suddenly Warren lunged towards her and pushed her down back onto the grimy alley ground. Buffy looked up to see him shuffle away from her. It was pathetic really. His feet could only move an inch or so. He looked like a mummy, all wrapped up in bed sheet strips.

Buffy made to hoist herself up off the ground for the second time when she heard a growling noise. A smile spread over her face.

Her gaze traveled to a nearby manhole cover. A manhole cover that was nearer to Warren’s position than hers.

Spike popped out of the sewers and into the shaded alley like a bat out of hell. Within seconds Warren was on the ground and Spike was on him.

“Where is she you bloody git?”

Warren mumbled through his gag.

“Spike?” said Buffy calmly, standing up.

Spike turned to look at who called his name. His vamp face melted away to his human features as he saw the smile of his mate.

“Spike, I’m ok,” she said walking closer to him.

Spike sniffed the air.

“You’re bleeding!”

“Oh, ya, that. It’s only a flesh wound.”

Spike gathered her up in his arms and set about inspecting every inch of her body to determine the extent of her injuries.

He lightly touched her shoulder wound and cringed.

“Flesh wound my lily white arse,” he muttered under his breath. Spike dipped his head and licked the wound clean.

He nuzzled the wound for a few moments before Buffy had to return them to the situation at hand.

“Spike, he’s getting away, very slowly.”

Spike turned his head and looked at Warren shuffling away.

“He shot you.”

“He did.”

“Coulda killed you.”

“I guess,” said Buffy, petting Spike’s bleached locks. “He didn’t though.”

Buffy looked deeply into Spike’s piercing blue eyes. She had this horrible feeling that Warren wasn’t going to live through the night. Spike would see to that.

“I don’t want you to kill him Spike,” she whispered. “Please.”

“In your future, who kills him?”

“Willow, for killing Tara.”

“This pathetic git kills Glinda too? Oh no pet, you can’t honestly ask me not to drain the bugger dry now.”

Buffy placed a kiss on his lips and then smiled. “He isn’t worth your extraordinary talents Spike.”

Taking his hand, Buffy and Spike started walking closer to the shuffling man. The Vampire reached out and grabbed Warren by the scruff of his neck.

“Best get him back to the Sunnydale ponce brigade then.”
__________________________________________
With Warren safely back in police custody, Buffy borrowed back her new toy from Giles’ custody.

Spike was spouting incessant warnings about going to the hospital to get her shoulder checked out. It was endearing to a point, but the point had been crossed. Now in the Magic Box, he petitioned Giles and Anya to make her see reason and get herself to a doctor.

Her trip to the cemetery was only delayed long enough for Spike to attend to her wounds himself. Newly gauzed and disinfected, Buffy, her shiny, pointy new toy and Spike headed to one of Sunnydale’s many cemeteries, in search of answers.
__________________________________________
Buffy slipped into the pyramid anticipating a very cryptic and confusing conversation with pyramid lady.

The interior of the pyramid was exactly how she remembered it. The torches, the cob webs, it was uncanny. All that was missing was the woman hating preacher man and Angel. Spike was even hanging out in the entrance.

The pyramid lady came out behind a curtain looking exactly how Buffy remembered her.

“I’d forgotten. I’d forgotten how young you would be. Comes from the waiting. The mind plays tricks.” the long haired woman motioned towards the scythe that Buffy carried in her hand. “I see you’ve found our weapon.”

“Ya, it made me all mole girl.“

“You pulled it out of the rock. I was one of those who put it in there.”

“Ya, so you said last time. Look I need to run something by you. Last time, in another future time, I got this scythe, and my friend Willow did a spell that released the essence of the spell so that every girl who was going to be a slayer was a slayer....Can the spell be done in reverse? Can we make it so that there is only one Slayer again?”

“I am only a guardian. One of the women who want to help and protect you. We forged this centuries ago, halfway around the world, to carry out that mission.”

“Fair enough,“ lost the plot much? “So do you have any idea if it can be done. You were the ones that made the nice shiny...“

“Forged, yes, it was put to use right here… to kill the last pure demon that walked upon the earth. The rest were already driven under. And then there were men here, and then there were monks. And then there was a town… and now there is you. And the scythe remained hidden. Until you.”

“Yay me with the digging. But you still haven’t answered my question.”

“We are not witches.”

“How did I know you were going to say that? Thanks anyway.”

Buffy turned to walk out of the pyramid.

“A word of caution though... Your plan, it faces it’s own perils.”

“Really? Cause that hadn’t occurred to me at all...” Buffy said sarcastically.
__________________________________________
Buffy and Spike walked home hand in hand.

“Get the answers you were looking for pet?”

“Course not, that would be too easy wouldn’t it? At least this time there is no julienne preacher man, stupid cookie analogy and Angel, afterwards.”

Spike gave her a funny look.

“Just smile and nod Spike, you don’t really want to know. Of course what you should know is that I came home and we had basement cuddling.”

“Just cuddling?”

“At the time, yes.” Buffy stopped walking and stepped out in front of him. “Are you telling me that you want more than just basement cuddling?”
__________________________________________
tbc...

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__________________________________________
Chapter 21: Recognition

Buffy checked the date on the calendar. Today was the day that shall remain in infamy, the day she lowered her standards and went to work at the Doublemeat Palace. Buffy counted herself lucky that she had avoided that tragic route again.

Spike stumbled down the stairs with a frown on his face.

“What’s your problem?” she asked.

“There was no naked slayer in my bed this morning,” he pouted.

Buffy gave him sympathetic look and petted his head.

“I can’t stay in bed all day you know, even if there is a very distracting naked vampire in there with me.”

Spike smirked.

“So what made you leave our bed of mated bliss then?” he asked.

“Martial bliss? It’s Anya’s bridal shower tonight. Expect me home late and drunk.”

“Drunk Naked Slayer?”

“You betcha.”
__________________________________________
As Maid of honour, Buffy was in charge of Anya’s bridal shower. Dawn was excited. Which was a good thing. She’d been Broody Miss for a few days now, every vengeful since the mole girl incident.

Buffy sat and stared at her scythe before her. She was returning it to Giles, so that he could ‘discover’ to his hearts delight.

Of course also open before her were volumes of volumous books, that would potentially provide the insight needed to create a spell that would make there only be one slayer.

Her brain hurt, a lot.

The magic, the white power that she had, it was something she never asked for, she never really wanted, it kinda just crept up on her. Giles’ explanation years and years from now had been that maybe all Slayers when they reach this age would just naturally acquire the magic.

Willow had said it was inherent.

And now here she was, looking up a spell to make it so that there would be only one slayer again, with power that was inherent to Slayers.

Willow.

She hadn’t talked to Willow on a one on one basis for a couple of days and she cringed to think just how Willow would take to the fact that Buffy was all powerful and witchy. And of course how she had been all don’t use your power. Buffy didn’t see rainbows and puppies in that scenario.

The books before her stared back menacingly. They taunted her. Defying her to attempt to find their secrets.

Buffy stuck her tongue out at them. Stupid books

Buffy got up out of her chair and headed into the training room. The punching bag was her friend in times like this.

She needed to de-stress. The party was catered, with Willow doing the demon food.

Buffy was proud of Willow, she had found a niche. Buffy had even gone so far as to suggest that Willow open her own catering business for the demon population of Sunnydale.

Tara had thought it a great idea, Willow just needed a little bit of encouraging.

Buffy worked herself into a steady rhythm of punches and kicks to her heavy bag, only to be startled by Dawn entering the training room.

“He’s annoying, and impossible, and I don’t understand why I would ever want to have that man’s kid!” shouted Dawn as she slouched into a nearby chair.

Buffy laughed.

“But you were friends with him,” said Buffy. “Yes, Andrew is annoying, and yes he’s impossible and has a bad habit of making things overly dramatic and forcing video cameras into your face, but he was your friend.”

“So you are saying that I wasn’t in love with him?”

“God no. He was your best friend, you two decided to have a kid together.”

Dawn let out a sigh. “Oh thank god.”

“Did it really worry you that much?” asked Buffy.

“You have no idea,” said Dawn with a smile.
__________________________________________
Like most Scooby parties, Anya’s bridal shower was being held at the Magic Box. It was a women only affair.

The guest list wasn’t extensive, just Anya’s closest friends, Buffy, Willow, Tara, Dawn, Amy, Rowan, Hallie and a few other’s that had been at the Engagement party that Buffy really didn’t know all that well. They opened the party with a game to make the best veil out of toilet paper.

Which inevitably led to the Magic box being covered in the stuff.

Anya wore the winning creation, by Dawn, on her head for the rest of the night. Buffy won the loser, by Willow, until it fell apart, which was about 15 mins. So to clarify, Buffy wore toilet paper on her head for the rest of the evening.

Buffy groaned as Dawn got out the camera. She was never going to live this down.

Willow started to pass out the M&Ms to start the next game.

Buffy stared down at the 5 M&Ms that she held in her hand. Now she had to think of 5 things to say about Anya that were true.

Dawn was first.

“I have 7 M&Ms, so 7 things huh? Um, Anya likes money,” said Dawn.

“Very true,” said Anya, “but not very original.

“She dated a Troll,” continued Dawn. “She has a dance of capitalist superiority.”

Anya nodded cheerfully.

“Which we will make her do after we get her really drunk,” added Buffy.

“Oh I’ll do it now, you don’t have to ply me with alcohol, I’d be more than happy to dance,” said Anya happily.

“She’s scared of bunnies, Her Birthday is on the 4th of July, Her first date with Xander was the senior prom, and her favourite food are portanus.”

Dawn seemed pleased with herself for her truths about Anya, and how she had gone first now no one could use those things. Buffy could sense some groaning from the other’s assembled.

Willow was next.

“I have 6 M&Ms. Oooh, Anya doesn’t have a driver’s license, but feels that she can drive anyway.”

“Why do I need a driver’s licence when I have Xander to drive me places?” asked Anya.

“You can’t just rely on Xander for rides Anya,” said Dawn.

“I’ve never needed to drive a car, well besides the time when Willow set Olaf free from that crystal with her little ball of sunshine.”

“I didn’t know your ex boyfriend was in that crystal,” whined Willow.

“Well if you ask me, the whole idea was nuts. Little ball of sunshine...”

“Sounds preposterous,” agreed Hallie.

Willow glared at Hallie and Anya.

Sensing some tension, Buffy sat up from her chair.

“Margaritas!” she said falsely chipper. “We so need Margaritas!”

“I’ll have you know, that I’m a very competent witch and just because one spell didn’t go according to plan...well I’m sure there have been some of your vengeance spells that didn’t go all happy faces!” said Willow.

“A competent witch knows her limitations,” said Hallie snidely.

“Willow, can you help me with the margaritas?” asked Buffy.

Willow turned to look at her friend and flicked her wrist. In the training room Buffy could hear the blender that they had brought over for the occasion buzz to life.

“That’s not what I meant,” Buffy mumbled under her breath.

“Willow...” said Tara softly obviously trying to calm down her girl friend.

“No, Tara, she’s insulting and I don’t have to put up with it,” said Willow loud enough so the rest of the room heard.

“Willow!” gasped Tara.

Buffy looked between Hallie and Willow. This could only end in badness. Then, as if on cue, a tray full of margaritas floated into the shop.

Buffy grabbed one and took a sip, letting the sweet lime taste drip down her throat. Buffy closed her eyes and tried to drown out the yelling.

“I have been Anyanka’s best friend for centuries!” Hallie was shouting. “I have every right to be here!”

Buffy opened her eyes again to see Dawn helping herself to a margarita. The slayer walked across the room and plucked the drink from her underage sister’s hands.

“I don’t think so there Dawnie,” said the older sister.

“Come on Buffy, it’s a special occasion!” protested Dawn.

“The wedding is a special occasion. This is just a gathering, which any second now is going to turn into an opportunity for renovation.”

“Huh?”

Buffy pointed to Willow and Hallie, still staring each other down.

“You aren’t even on the bride’s side of the ceremony, aren’t you like the best woman or something terribly politically correct? In my day this would have been a terrible faux pas.”

“That’s cause you are older than dirt.”

“Hey!” protested Anya and Buffy simultaneously.

“Sorry Anya, Buffy,” said Willow sheepishly.

Hallie tapped her foot.

Willow remained silent.

“Willow, just apologize, so we can move on, please?” begged Buffy.

“I think she should apologise to me!”

“Wills, think about Anya, it’s her party,” said Tara.

Willow’s face softened briefly. “Sorry Anya, but your friend is rude.”

“Oh, sometimes, yes she is,” agreed Anya with a smile. “That’s how she got herself elevated to be a demon. that’s a fabulous story Hallie, you should tell it.”

Hallie’s face softened.

“That is a great story.” Hallie sat down on her chair once more and took a margarita. “I am much much younger than Anyanka you know. When I was still human, my mother kept making me go to these dull dull parties, with intolerable people, just so that I could meet the right people, you know to marry me off. I don’t know what was wrong with me but I keep attracting creepy guys. Well this one guy wouldn’t leave me alone. Wrote me poetry. It was bad poetry too. God it was awful. He was beneath me.”

As Hallie told her story Buffy’s eyes went wide. She could believe that she hadn’t seen it before. Hallie was Cecily Underwood! The girl who had broken William's heart and sent him into the night to be turned by Drusilla.

Buffy felt her hands clench and her nails dig into the palms of her hands. She suddenly felt the need to get more food out of the fridge. For the first time she cursed the fact that she had all the food catered. She could have worked off a lot of tension by chopping something.

Cause right now she kept seeing herself chopping off Hallie’s head in her mind’s eye.
__________________________________________
After all the guests had gone home and Anya and Buffy were cleaning up the mess left by the toilet paper, paper cups, and napkins.

“The man in Hallie’s story was Spike,” said Buffy at once.

“Yes,” sighed Anya. “I am glad that she didn’t tell everyone that though. I like Spike.”

“Does Hallie know that Spike is William?”

“I don’t know, though I think it very unlikely that she doesn’t. She has a remarkable memory.”

“I don’t want to think what Spike would do when he recognises her,” said Buffy worried.

“They can’t do anything more to each other. Spike’s dead, and Hallie’s a demon.”

“I have a very bad feeling about this.”
__________________________________________
tbc...




__________________________________________
Chapter 22: Exposition

Buffy wasn’t drunk when she got home. She did consume two margaritas, but that was when she was desperately trying to not kill Hallie. The house was quiet. Dawn, Willow and Tara had come home long before she had and were obviously already asleep.

But where was Spike?

Buffy grabbed a carton of grapefruit juice from the fridge and poured herself a glass. He wasn’t in the house, she could feel that much just by being in the house herself. Setting the carton down, Buffy calmed her inner senses and reached out trying to find her mate. She felt that familiar buzz of alcohol and realized at once where he was.

He was at Willy’s. Getting hammered.

Well at least one of us is going to be drunk, she thought.

The idea briefly of going to join him was squelched by the fact that she was so overly tired that she would probably pass out after her first drink. She satisfied her self with sending Spike naughty thoughts via her link with him, in hopes of getting him home to her faster.
__________________________________________
Buffy stretched out her arms happily the next morning and snuggled closer to her mate. She had met him at the door, wackiness had ensued. Now, the next morning, with a fresh wound on her neck, Buffy debated about whether or not she should tell Spike about Halfrek, before he found out on his own.

“Out with it,” ordered a sleepy vampire.

“Huh?” Buffy mumbled.

“I can practically hear the wheels turning in your head, Goldilocks.”

“Then tell me oh great one, if you can hear my wheels, what am I thinking about?”

“Shagging me until I dust?”

Buffy giggled. “That is always foremost in my thoughts.”

“Damn right,” he said pulling her closer.

“Which remind me of thing that happened last time... We are going to the bronze tonight.”

“Why’s that pet?”

“Fun balcony sex.”

Spike groaned happily.

“Spike?”

“Ya pet,” he said kissing and licking the marks he made on her neck the night before.

“At Anya’s bridal shower last night...there was someone there...You remember Halfrek from the engagement party?”

“Yes,” said Spike all cautious. He didn’t like how she was approaching the subject. “Brunette, veiny, drama queen.”

“Right, well she let a few things slip, about how she was elevated, and she is very pretty without the veins, almost you could say...effulgent?”

Spike bolted away from Buffy like she was the sun itself.

“Halfrek is Cecily, Spike.”

“Cecily Underwood is dead.”

“Are you so sure about that? Did you see her body? The way she tells it after she broke your heart, she trapped her parents in a never ending waltz and was elevated by D’Hoffryn.”

“She never did like our parties,” mumbled Spike.

“I just wanted to let you know, so she doesn’t surprise you with it.”

Spike flopped back on the bed, his arms spread wide for a moment before sitting up again.

“Just how...”

“Effulgent? You might want to reconsider what you keep in that lock box at Wolfram and Hart Spike.”
__________________________________________
Buffy set the scythe down on the Magic Box’s research table and looked around at the assembled Scoobies. They had gathered here today to hear Buffy’s tale of woe and horror, and to help in what way they could in the upcoming battle with the first evil.

“Hey I just came, cause we are going Bronzing later,” said Dawn indignantly.

Buffy rolled her eyes. Willow, Tara, Amy, Giles, Anya, Dawn, Giles, Xander and Spike, peppered the room.

“A year from now we are going to be in the fight of our lives. I’ve seen it, it’s not pretty, there’s violence, teenagers taking over my house, betrayal, bombs, and nasty woman hating preacher men, and he’s probably out there right now. The First Evil, the thing that tried to get Angel to kill himself three years ago, will be back and more powerful than ever. Spike dies. Anya dies. And none of us are ever the same again.”

The scoobies, with the exception of Spike, Buffy and Anya, looked shocked at Anya’s predicted death.

“What? She told me like weeks ago,” said Anya who had gotten out another bag of Portanus to munch on.

“So what we are going to do it stop it?” asked Xander.

“The First told me that it was me being brought back to life that upset the balance. There is more than one slayer. So we have to make it so that there is only one slayer again,” said Buffy.

“Are we going to kill Faith?” asked Anya.

“No, cause the Slayer line passes through her, another slayer would be called,” explained the slayer.

“So how do we make it so that there is only one slayer then?” asked Willow. “Cause last time I checked it sorta wasn’t up to us.”

“We need to find a spell. A spell that restores balance.”

“We would need to have an idea of what the slayer essence, if you will, was before we even attempted what you are proposing,” said Giles.

“Well, here it is,” said Buffy picking up the scythe from the table before them.

“Huh?” asked Xander.

“The essence of Slayer power is in this scythe,” stated Buffy matter of factly.

“And you know this how?” asked Anya.

“I’m older than dirt, just trust me on this one, k?”

“What does that make me then?” said Anya bitterly.

“That’s a good point,” noted Xander. “What is older than dirt?”

“Your blushing bride?” offered Giles.

Xander awkwardly put his arm around Anya and smiled. Anya didn’t look happy. Not happy at all.
__________________________________________
Three hours of research later and they were still no closer to a solution. Willow thought she could make up the spell herself, to which Tara gave her a disapproving look. As they searched, Buffy couldn’t help but think about how this was all going to go down, even if they did find a spell. Should she let Willow participate at all?

Dawn threw down a book in disgust.

“I thought you said we were going to the Bronze?” she whined.

“I didn’t lie,” sighed Buffy.

In an instant Spike was by her side and holding out his arm for her to take. Buffy stood up and smiled at her mate. She had been sensing his increasing boredom for the past three hours. She slipped her arm around his and leaned her head against his shoulder.

“The Bronze?” she inquired.

“Thank god!” exclaimed Dawn as she brushed past the couple and out the door.
__________________________________________
The music in the Bronze pounded against her skull. The beat was forcing parts of her body to move along with it. Sitting at the table with glasses of beer in front of her and her vampire curled up around her, despite being seated on his own stool, Buffy found herself staring at her right index finger that was tapping out the beat on Spike’s hand. He didn’t seem to mind much, as long as she let him take an occasional sip of Guinness. Out on the dance floor Dawn and Amy danced to the music, Tara and Willow were whispering sweet nothings into each other’s ears across the table from the mated couple. Anya and Xander were having a heated discussion about a wedding related item at the bar.

Buffy reached forward and took Spike’s beer and sipped. He watched in fascination as she licked the foam from her lips. She did miss a bit though at the very corner of her mouth. Spike leaned over and licked it from her skin.

“I didn’t know you liked your Guinness, pet.”

“You don’t live in England for over 50 years without growing an appreciation for actual beer.” She smiled. “This American stuff, it’s nasty.”

“Says the American.”

“I’m transplanted, and mated to a Brit, that’s got to count for something.”

“It does at that pet. So what’s on the Slayers list of things to do? What evil is afoot tonight?”

“Well, nerds are in jail, including Warren, so no time shifting demon, no dead Katrina. Just balcony sex.”

That got Willow and Tara’s attention.

Buffy smiled at their shocked faces. “What?” asked the slayer innocently. “You should try it, though the mechanics in your case might be slightly different...”

Spike snerked at Willow’s mouth hanging open. Buffy smiled and grabbed Spike’s hand leading him from the table, just as Xander and Anya approached.

“Where are they going?” asked Xander.

“Balcony sex,” said Tara calmly.

“Damn it, now it’s occupied,” said Anya. “We are next though, k?”
__________________________________________
tbc...



__________________________________________
Chapter 23: The Big 1-2-3

When Buffy woke up without her vampire mate pillow snuggled next to her she knew something was wrong.

“Spike?” Buffy called out into the muted yellow of her room, the blinds keeping out the deadly rays of light. Buffy, sitting up she scanned the room for clues. His pants were gone, conclusion: he wasn’t taken by force. Or taken by someone who really didn’t appreciate his chiselled bod like she did. His black tee from the night before was still in a crumpled pile at the bottom of the bed where it had fallen in a fit of passion, as normally happened after they returned from patrol. Conclusion: he’s shirtless, or he has a new one on.

He was probably not far, but she had to make sure. Buffy laid back on the bed and reached out with her senses. He was close, very close and he didn’t want her finding out what he was up to. With a satisfied smile on her face, Buffy rolled over in bed and stretched out her arms.

Maybe he’s making me breakfast in bed? she thought. But why?

Suddenly the door to their room was kicked open and Spike walked in with a tray of pancakes.

“Happy Birthday Goldilocks,” he beamed.

Right, Birthday Buffy!

“Thank you!” Buffy smiled back. “You cooked?”

“God no, these are patented Willow cakes, fresh squeezed OJ and GJ by Dawn,” explained Spike, who wasn’t wearing a shirt after all.

“And your little contribution?”

“I carried the tray, and I picked the flower,” he said pointing to the rose on the tray.

Buffy raised an eye brow. “Picked a rose, in the daylight, in January?”

“Picked it out of a florist’s window?”

Buffy smiled. “That sounds more realistic. So my birthday huh? The big 1-2-3. Funny I don’t feel older than 21.”

“Eat you bloody pancakes, slayer.”

“Or what? You gonna eat me?”

Spike licked his lips and raised an eyebrow.

“Don’t you wish.”
__________________________________________
Full, showered, dressed and happy as a clam, Buffy bounced down the stairs.

“You ready to go?” asked Willow who was standing at the bottom of the stairs.

“Ready to go where?” asked the slayer a mite confused. She had expected to go about the day normally, perhaps a party later with gifts and hijinx, after the ritual demon fighting.

“Oh it’s sorta a surprise,” said Willow eagerly. “Oooh but not too much of a surprise, cause I’m sure there will be demon fighting later, it is a Buffy Birthday after all.”

“As long as it doesn’t involve embarrassing retelling of past mistakes or world endage...”

“None of the above.”

“Ok...”Buffy started hesitantly, “What do I need?”

“Just you, and possibly car keys, we don’t have licenses...”

“Licenses? and wait...we?”

“We have to pick up Anya too?”

Buffy rolled her eyes only to have them settle on the form of Dawn bouncing down the stairs. It was 10 am, on a weekday.

“Dawn? Why aren’t you at school?” asked Buffy.

“Cause it’s Buffy birthday fun day! Willow wrote me a note,” Dawn said proudly.

“Willow...”

“Buffy birthday fun day!” answered the witch. “Tara!”

Tara emerged from the kitchen with a blind fold in her hand.

“I...I thought I was driving?” asked Buffy really confused now.

“You are, it’s for after we get there,” explained Tara. “Ooh the time!”

Buffy felt herself being pointed towards the door and shoved.

“Spike?” Buffy called out helplessly.

“Have fun pet,” he said with a smile.
__________________________________________
Buffy gripped the steering wheel like it was a lifeline.

She knew the way to Xander’s house. That was no problem, Anya squeezed into the SUV’s back seat wished Buffy a happy birthday. It was after they pulled away from Xander’s building that Buffy really started feeling uncomfortable behind the wheel.

She hadn’t felt this uncomfortable driving since her driving test in England when she was 27. She had had a horrible tester, with way bad teeth and horrid onion breath. At a light she had got a pack of mints out of her purse and offered him one. The test had gone down hill after that.

Willow was shouting out directions to her.

“Here, turn right now!”

Buffy struggled to keep up with her friend’s orders.

With relief they finally pulled into the back parking lot of a building. But because it was the back entrance Buffy couldn’t tell where they were.

“Blindfold time!” said Tara happily.

“Can I at least get out of the car first?”
__________________________________________
Blindfolded and being pushed somewhere Buffy tried to determine what was going on around her by tapping into skills she had not felt she needed for what seemed like eons. Giles used to train her with a blindfold in a whole Obi Wan type thing. She had been pretty good at it until she stopped training other Slayers.

She knew that Willow and Tara were holding her arms, Anya was behind her and that Dawn was floating somewhere to the left, well not literally. Turning some corners and up a few stairs the group came to a stop and the blind fold was removed.

“Happy Birthday Buffy!” squealed Dawn.

Buffy looked around her trying to find out where they were, until her eyes drifted to a sign that read, “The Sunnydale Spa welcomes you.”

“Sunnydale has a Spa?” were the first words out of Buffy’s mouth. “How did I not know this? Where was I? And don’t tell me I was slaying or saving the world or some garbage like that. When did we get a spa?”

“Uh, Buffy, they opened this past year...” said Tara.

“When? Where was I? Was I dead?”

The four women around her clammed up and looked at the floor like it was a taboo subject.

“Damn, being dead sucked.”
__________________________________________
Four hours later, completely rejuvenated, Buffy dropped her friends and Dawn at Xander’s for party planning and drove home. They had been trying to convince her that after such a relaxing day at the spa, she should just sleep until the party.

It made sense in a weird sort of way.

But she didn’t want to sleep. She had seen Spike for all of 20mins today, and it was her birthday. She wanted Birthday smoochies!
__________________________________________
Buffy opened the door to her house to be hit with a flowery fragrance. Buffy closed the door behind her only to notice, once her eyes adjusted to the muted light, that there was a trail of rose petals leading up the stairs.

With a smile on her face, Buffy set down her bag and began climbing the stairs, expecting to see a seduction scene in her bedroom. Half way up there was a white note card, written in delicate calligraphy, and bordered in gold lamé.


I know I’m a monster, but you treat me like a man.


Buffy smiled sadly. At the top of the stairs there was another note card.


We’re in a band, a rock band, you play the triangle, drums and I sing.


Buffy laughed at that one. Explaining to her mother what she was doing with Spike was a funny, now in hindsight. At the time? Not so much. On the floor of the upstairs hallway there was another one.


Hundred forty-seven days yesterday. Uh ... hundred forty-eight today. 'Cept today doesn't count, does it?


He had counted the days she had been dead. She had almost forgotten that little detail. Following the rose petals further down the hallway, just in front of their bedroom door there was yet another card.


I ... love you. You're all I bloody think about. Dream about. You're in my gut ... my throat ... I'm drowning in you, Summers, I'm drowning in you.


Buffy entered her room, which was covered in red and white rose petals to see another card sitting on their bed.


~Aren't they a perfect little us? ~ I don't like him. He's insipid. Clearly human. ~ Oo, red paint. We could smear a little on his mouth — blood of the innocent. ~ That's my girl.


Buffy flashed back to the time she spoke those words and a smiled. Behind her she felt a vampire enter the room. She turned with a smile to look at her mate.

“Have you got something to tell me?” she asked all innocently.

In a smooth, fluid motion, Spike was down on one knee and was holding out a ring box.

“Buffy Anne Summers, I love you, you are my mate, my lover, my best friend. I want to be with you the rest of your days. I don’t know how things would have gone if the other Buffy was here, but I want to make the Buffy that is here happy for the rest of her days. Goldilocks, will you marry me?”

Buffy stared open mouthed as he opened the ring box and revealed possibly the most beautiful ring she had ever seen.

“Turn over the last card, pet...”

Buffy turned over the card.


It's just so sudden. I don't know what to say. ~Just say yes, and make me the happiest man on earth.~ Oh, Spike! Of course it's yes!


Buffy started to laugh. “It's just so sudden. I don't know what to say,” she quoted off the card.

“Just say yes, and make me the happiest man on earth.”

“Oh, Spike! Of course it's yes!” she said with a huge smile on her face. “Silly Vampire.”

Spike slipped the ring on to her finger, while she brushed a tear from the corner of her eye.

“Buffy?”

“Oh happy tears, very happy tears. Mrs Darlington happy tears.”

Spike frowned.

“You don’t want me to be Mrs Darlington? Mrs The Bloody?”

“Just never thought you’d wanna take my name is all.”

“Course I wanna, I don’t change my name for just anyone you know.”
__________________________________________
The not so surprise party was held at , surprise, surprise, the magic shop. There was music, there was cake, there was punch.

But there was no Richard, and no wall inhabiting demon, and no Halfrek to trap them together.

But most of all there was Buffy, a very happy Buffy.

She already knew what they were getting her for gifts. Xander and Anya a weapons chest. Dawn, a leather jacket, this time actually paid for. Willow and Tara had hosted the spa day, eliminating both Buffy’s birthday gift and Anya’s Bachelorette party gift.

Giles gave her a new axe.

Once all the gifts were opened the scoobies looked expectantly at Spike.

“Where’ s your gift Spike?” asked Dawn.

“Oooh!” said Buffy excitedly. “Spike and I are getting married.”

Buffy leaned over and kissed her fiancé full on the mouth before her friends.

“Can I be blind too?” said Xander.
__________________________________________
tbc...




__________________________________
Chapter 24: Bite Me

“I’m going to the crypt for a bit, love,” said Spike, pulling on his duster.

Buffy looked up from her book, Igman’s book of Undead Habits and over her shoulder at her fiancé from the couch. The sun had just set and Spike had been pacing for ages to get out of the house.

“I thought you brought everything here when you moved in?” she asked curious.

“I did love, just have a favour to do a friend, lost at poker last night.”

Buffy shifted her body to look at him in the hallway. “You aren’t stowing Sulvote eggs by chance are you?”

“Don’t know, just need a space is all. Didn’t ask what the space was for. Was hoping that it was naked mud wrestling actually...”

“Spike!” Buffy protested with a big smile on her face.

“Of course I’d always be thinking I’d much rather it was you in the mud...” he quickly added.

“Oh, cause that’s so much better...Spike, these eggs, they’re dangerous,” she said worried.

Spike stepped into the living room, a concerned look on his face. The vampire crouched down so that he was eye level with Buffy.

“Love, this is one of those things from the future again, right?”

Buffy nodded. “And you aren’t going to like what coming next.”

“What comes next then Slayer?”

“I trust you Spike,” she said leaning over to kiss his cheek. She was avoiding. She knew it. “Have a good time with your poker buddies. We will be having company tonight, tomorrow, sometime soon.”

“Who, pet?”

“Captain Cardboard,” said Buffy, turning back to her book.

Buffy flinched as Spike muttered some choice expletives and ranted about Riley and something about plastic stakes as he kicked the couch, not hard enough to break it, but she was sure that it wouldn’t hold up to a beating. Buffy watched Spike go only slightly worried. Yes she trusted her mate, but she also trusted that Riley Finn was going to be exactly the same bigoted man as he was the last time she saw him.

But she still intended to one up him before he could on up her. Not like last time.

The moment Spike was gone out of the house, Buffy bolted off the couch and up the stairs.
__________________________________
Sure enough, Riley Finn found her later that evening and this time she wasn’t working a crap job at the Doublemeat Palace. This time she was in the bathtub. Dawn had to come up and get her, which have Riley time to stew in her living room of happy pictures. Happy pictures of Buffy and Spike, Spike and Dawn, Willow and Tara, Xander and Anya, but also the family portrait that they had had taken last week, Buffy Dawn and Spike like a family sitting in the centre of the mantel piece.

Buffy walked down the stairs elegantly in her tight leather pants, slayer boots and a cute black tee that said ‘Bite Me’ on it. Yes, since she had come back to this younger body, she’d been experimenting with fashion, and occasionally she liked to take a page out of Spike’s style guide. Her nails were painted black and her makeup was as dark as it had been when she was in high school.

“Riley!” Buffy greeted happily, stepping forward to hug him. “God, it’s been forever!”

And it had almost, over a hundred years. Buffy barely touched him as they hugged and she pulled away as fast as she could.

“It sure has, Buffy,” he said. “You look great!”

“Thanks,” she tried an insincere blush.

“Sorry to just drop in on you like this, Buffy,” offered the commando.

“Not a problem, next week I have demons teleporting in for wedding fun, it’s like practice.”

“Look, this isn't the way I wanted it. But something's come up, something big. We don't have much time. You understand?” said Riley cryptically, making sure to keep his voice low, obviously trying not to get Dawn involved.

“I’m familiar with the language known as cryptic ramblings...Willow and Giles are fluent speakers of it.”

“I want to explain, I just don't have time. I've been up for forty eight hours straight tracking something bad, and now it's come to Sunnydale,” said Riley again, casting a look at Dawn who was standing in the middle of the living room.

“Cause I’m always game of cryptic from the ex boyfriend...“

Riley sighed. “I know that I'm putting you on the spot, showing up like this, but ... but you know, here we are. I need the best. I need you, Buffy. Can you help me?”

“You don’t need me, you need a slayer Riley, I just happen to be her.“ Buffy grabbed her coat from the hall closet and opened the front door. “Well here I am, point me in a direction and I’ll slay”

“Don’t you want to know what to slay?”

“Oh I have an idea.”
__________________________________
Buffy and Riley walked down the street, each feeling the awkwardness.

“Look, I'm sorry this is all so sudden. You know, if we get a minute, I'd really like to sit down...”

Riley stopped talking as his attention drifted to the beeping gizmo that was on his belt.

“What is it?” Buffy asked only slightly curious, she had been through this before.

“Suvolte demon. Rare, lethal ... nearly extinct, but not nearly enough. It's close.”

Buffy couldn’t help but break out into laughter. He was very James Bond, and Batman combined.

“What?” asked the commando.

“Sorry. It's just ... you still carry around all that James Bond stuff,” she tried to explain. Buffy leaned over to examine the gizmo he was intently staring at. “It's so cute! I forgot.”

Riley put the device away, and shot Buffy a look of disbelief.

“Sorry,” said Buffy trying to sound sheepish. “Carry on.”

Riley resumed his trek. “We've been tear-assing through every jungle from Paraguay up, taking out nests. As soon as we put one Suvolte down, a dozen take its place. They're breeders, Buffy. One turns into ten, ten becomes a hundred. This gets out of hand and there's a war with humans? Humans are gonna lose.”

“So they're like really mean tribbles,” said Buffy smartly.

Riley shot her another look of death. “What? I’ve expanded my appreciation of the geekdom.. it’s a thing.”

Of course the first time this happened she had believed his tale that he spun. This time she knew better. In her pursuit to exonerate Spike when he was gone and she was alone, Buffy had found out the real story behind the eggs. And it only made her feel even worse.

What Spike had said had been the truth. Riley on the other hand was indeed tracking the doctor, but he wasn’t an international arms dealer selling Sulvote eggs, he was an OB/GYN for demons.

From behind them Buffy could hear a sound of growling, possibly demon. Looking up, Buffy spotted the demon in question. It was green and knocking over some vending machines. Probably disappointed that her demon skin didn’t allow her to carry change to purchase a newspaper. Or maybe she didn’t like the head lines.

“You ready for this?” Riley asked.

“Yes please.”

Walking towards the demon and the masses of screaming people...Cause people multiplied when there was demon near by, Riley held up a badge.

“National Forestry Service, we got a wild bear! Everybody stand back!” Riley yelled, pushing people out of the way. “Look out!”

Buffy watched the demon fight off Riley’s advances. A bear? she thought in disbelief, How stupid are people? The demon struck first, but Buffy couldn’t help but feel bad for the demon. deciding to do what she was chosen to do, instead of moralizing about the needless death of demons that were simply mad at the day’s head lines, Buffy jumped on the demon’s back only to be flung into the wall of the nearest building.

Riley was kind enough to help her up. The demon had retreated into the alley, and Riley motioned her to follow him. Buffy picked up a fallen gun that was at her feet and followed.

“Split,” ordered Riley once they got to a wider part of the alley.

Buffy nodded. They moved off in different directions. Suddenly, a garbage can flew at Riley, but he deflected the can before it could knock him to his feet.

Buffy noticed right away that the demon had it in for Riley. It was going to charge. Don’t blame it actually, she thought. Buffy rolled her eyes and again chose to protect her ex.

“Riley!” she warned. Buffy tossed him the gun.

Riley took aim and shot, the dart standing out against the demon’s skin. The demon roared at the pain and flailed it’s arms, knocking her down and into Riley’s arms.

“You all right?” asked Riley.

“I'll feel better when we catch it. But it's too fast,” she whined.

“I wouldn't necessarily say that,” he said smugly.

Back out in the street, a black SUV came screeching around the corner.

The Bat Mobile, thought Buffy.
__________________________________
Inside the car, Riley drove. Buffy sat primly in the passenger seat.

“Nice wheels,” she said trying to fill the awkward silence.

“Came with the car.”

Buffy tried to smile at his attempt at a joke. “Know where we're goin'?”

“Got an idea. The tag's on-line. We'll find it.”

The car beeped at her. The seat belt scratched and Riley’s driving was making her nauseous.

“How's your arm?” she asked.

“It'll heal. How you doin'?”

“Complicated question.”

“I just meant-”

“I know.”

“I hear ya. Got some, uh ... big stories to tell you to. If we ever get half a second.”

“Did you die?”

“No.”

“I'm gonna win,” she said with a huge grin.

Riley looked a little surprised. He took an appreciative glance at her clothing and handed her something black.

Buffy laughed in his face, when she realised what he was trying to make her wear.

“I’m not in your army Riley. I’ll wear this,” she said indicating what she was already wearing.

“A tee shirt that says ‘Bite Me’ Ya, that will go over well,” he commented.

“This is me Riley, deal. Things have changed since you left.”

Riley gave her a knowing look. “They haven’t changed that much Buffy.”

“You have no idea. So ... the black-ops life, it's workin' out for ya?”

“Don't suck.”

“They got dental?” she asked, looking at him from the side.

Riley shot her a smile. “Yeah, we're covered.”

The SUV filled with another pause.

“You know, there's not many people I'd ask to risk their life for me, Buffy. It's really good to see you.”

“Thanks.”

“You're welcome. And Buffy ... love the hair.”

Buffy smirked, and flicked her long blond locks over her shoulder. Spike liked the hair too, that’s why she didn’t do anything to it.
__________________________________
The SUV screeched to a halt on a side road. As Buffy got out she recognised the place immediately. She shut the door with a slam and dusted off her leather pants.

“End of the line?” she asked “I don't see our demon.”

“It's not here.”

“Let me guess.”

They walked between some low stone buildings. Riley shot her another teethy grin. They walked over to a fence and look down.

Buffy knew when she got out of the car that they were at the dam. And now she remembered when she had been here before.

“Down we go?” she asked.

“Looks that way.” Riley started getting some equipment ready for their descent.

“That's a big first step. So, Mr. Finn, got an extra jet-pack for a girl like me?”

“ Sorry, fresh out of jet-packs. Looks like we'll have to share.” Riley got out the repelling rope and attached it to the fence. “This test line's built for one, so if we go together, we're not hauling any gear. Just be you and me,” Riley explained.

“I was never big on the hardware anyway.”

“You hold onto me?” he asked.

Buffy shot him a look. “Well I don‘t know if I should do that...” she said all innocent like.

“Come on.”

Riley lifted her up onto the fence.

“Ready when you are, Agent Finn.”

Buffy put her arms around his shoulders and looked down as they began their descent.

In the silence during the descent, Buffy couldn’t help but let her thoughts travel to Spike and what he was doing, cause frankly Riley was boring. She’d done this before.

And like before Buffy killed the demon once they reached the bottom. It was trying to kill her, fair enough right?

And this time she wasn’t surprised by Sam.

“Hey,” greeted Mrs Finn.

Buffy looked up from the dead body of the demon.

“Hey there,” Sam greeted Riley then turned to Buffy and glared at her. “What exactly are you doing with my husband?”

“Husband?” Buffy asked curiously, partly knowing that that was what was expected.

Riley nodded.

“Wife,” continued Buffy.

Sam nodded.

“And ... those aren't code names like Big Dog or Falcon or... I didn't think so.”

“Buffy, meet Sam. Sam, Buffy,” introduced Riley.

“Pleasure,” said Sam sincerely.

“How long have you been married?” Buffy asked.

“Four months almost.”

“Mazel tov. Any children?”

Sam laughed.

“Buffy, I meant to tell you. When the time was right. She caught up to us a hell of a lot faster than I would've guessed possible. She does that.”

Sam smiled up at her husband.

“So, you-you guys do this often, you know, the whole ... husband-and-wife tag-team demon fighting thing?”

“Yeah, it's what brought us together,” said Sam, leaning into Riley.

Buffy kicked the dead demon at their feet. “So, guess that's mission accomplished.”

“She killed it,” said Riley stating the obvious.

“Oh, honey ... That's okay,” said Sam patting Riley’s chest, that she was still leaned up against.

“Okay? Wait ... you guys have been tracking this thing as a couple for two days straight, and you ... did want it dead, right?”

“Let me guess. Captain Can-Do over here” Sam pointed her thumb at her husband, “forgot to mention that this was a homing operation. But it's nice to finally meet you, by the way. Knife.” Sam took a knife from Riley and knelt down beside the dead demon. Slashing into the demon’s stomach, Sam started to curse.

“Damn.”

The ooze that was well, oozing out of the gash was gross. Buffy shot Sam a grossed out look.

“We're too late. Finn ... how could you recruit the Slayer without filling her in on the objective?”

“That'd be my question,” said Buffy. “I can’t be expected to remember everything you know.” Problem was she was experiencing a curious memory loss, probably because she had been repressing the embarrassment of last time for so long. The memory was painful, because in five years, she would get the news that Riley and Sam were dead, along with their new born son, at the hands of human terrorists.

“If we weren't under severe time constraints I'd seriously think about ripping you a new one,” said Sam completely ignoring Buffy’s comment.

“Stand down, soldier,” smirked Riley.

“He's your boss, too?” asked Buffy.

“Oh, he wishes. We better regroup. Buffy, I hate to impose further, but ... you got a safe house?” asked Sam.

“I, I have a house. I-I think it's safe,” said Buffy running her hand through her long blonde locks. Her engagement ring glinting as it caught a stray ray of light.

“Wow, look at that ring she’s sporting,” gawked Sam. “I’m not allowed to wear my rings on missions.”

“I normally take it off, when I go patrolling, Riley just surprised me, I didn’t think of it,” explained Buffy.

“Wow, that must have cost...Well wow, Buffy, do I know the lucky guy?” asked Riley.

“You do, but don’t we have to do something about the body?” asked the slayer, pointing at the demon corpse that had only just stopped oozing yellow goo.”
__________________________________
tbc...

__________________________________
Chapter 25: Soldier Girl

Buffy showed Mrs and Mrs Finn into her house, glad that her immaculate house cleaning was up to June Cleaver’s standards.

Dawn of course was standing in the middle of the living room doorway, not at all pleased.

“Hey,” said Riley apologetically.

“Agent Finn returns....again,” snarked Dawn.

Willow and Xander appeared from the kitchen.

“Hey, there's the man! Life taker, heartbreaker.” Xander shook Riley’s hand. “You know, figuratively speaking.”

“Xander, Sam. Willow...” Riley was handling the introductions.

Sam waved the open front door.

Buffy watched as Willow and Riley hugged. Sending her friend a raised eye brow, Buffy was delighted when Willow pulled away from the hug sharply.

“Uh, we got your call,” said Willow trying not to stammer.

Call? thought Buffy. When did he call????

“We're here to help. Just like old times. Except, with you being all big with the married life,” babbled Xander.

“Hear you're getting hitched yourself. Believe me, you're gonna love it,” said Riley, his wife smiling up at him. “And you too Buffy.”

“Congratulations, really, both of you,” added Willow.

They all moved into the living room. Hanging back from the happy couple Willow turned to whisper in Buffy’s ear.

“Just so you know? I'm prepared to hate this woman any way you want.”

Buffy smiled. “Thanks, but no. I don't wanna seem all petty.”

“Well, that's the beauty! You can't, but I can. Please. Let me carry the hate for the both of us.”

“Go nuts,” grinned an evil looking Buffy.

Buffy and Willow proceeded into the living room, Buffy noting that Dawn was still mad at Riley, and some how Buffy was ok with that.

“So. What brings you back to town after you left suddenly with no word?” asked the teen.

The group sat down on the couch and various other sitting type furniture. Buffy tried to catch Riley’s eye and direct them to the various pictures of her and Spike that were littered around the room. But to no avail.

“Sam and I have been tracking a Suvolte demon through Central America. Killing machine. Nearly mature,” explained Riley.

“Yeah, three months old and growing fast,” added Sam.

“These things start to kill the minute they're hatched. And leave a real clear trail.”

“Yeah. Just follow the villages with nothing in them but body parts.”

Riley suddenly turned to face Dawn. “Uh ... Dawn, are you sure you wanna be around hearing all this?”

“Oh, come on, Finn, she looks all grown-up to me.” Sam turned to Buffy, thinking that maybe she‘d over stepped Buffy‘s authority. “ That is, if it's all right with you.”

“Uh, sure, yeah, it's fine,” said Buffy feeling a little out of it. She knew that this was happening, but for the life of her she couldn't’ remember what was going to happen next.

“So, this demon shredded your guys, and now you're looking for a little payback?” asked Dawn.

Sam shook her head. “No. It came here to the Hellmouth to, to spawn.” Mrs Finn sighed “But we think it already hatched its eggs somewhere.”

“And the plan was to track it. Let the demon take us to its nest.”

“And ... now they're gonna hatch a bunch of ... baby demon things?” asked Dawn, shifting her weight from one foot to the other.

“Unless we stop it,” added Sam.

“Which means we have to find the nest, and fast, before Sunnydale turns into the Trouble Meat Palace,” said Buffy.

Everyone turned to Buffy.

“I wish I'd said something else,” she admitted. “It sounded funny in my head.”

“Okay, so we track down the demon, find the nest, Mr. and Mrs. Finn here make with the killin', and everyone goes home happy.” Xander sat down on the couch beside Sam. “But seriously, married man. If forced to choose between a photographer and place settings...”

“We can't track the demon. I killed it,” said Buffy, picking a piece of lint off her shirt. “So! Who's hungry? We got, uh...”

“Bloodsicles,” added Dawn.

“Huh?”

“I found them in the freezer, he’s making weird deserts again,” complained Dawn.

“Be thankful you didn’t witness the bloody cheesecake,” added Willow. “Tragic waste of cheesecake if you ask me.”

“Buffy?” interrupted Sam. “It's good that you killed the Suvolte before it killed us.” She turned to Xander. “Disposable cameras.”

“Di - wah?” stammered Xander.

“Yeah, you, you know, little plastic ones, ten bucks a pop. You arrange them like table settings, guests snap photos breaks the ice, and when the wedding's over, you get to take home the pictures,” explained Sam.

Xander grinned. “I like it!”

“So, demon eggs. Any timetable on when they're gonna hatch?” asked Buffy.

“Hatching's not the problem,” said Riley.

“We think they're gonna be sold on the black market. There are some foreign military powers that would love to have their own Suvolte. You could never train it, but drop it on an urban population...”explained Sam.

“And it cleanses the area,” added Riley.

“Is that a nice way of saying it kills people?” gulped Dawn.

“Lots of 'em. Money's been exchanged. There's a dealer in town, calls himself the, The Doctor. Willow, you think you can help with a little locating spell?” asked Sam.

Buffy snapped her fingers, drawing the attention of the rest of the people in the room. “I was having such a senior moment there for a while! K, I know now. God that’s reassuring. It’s like trying to remember an old TV show sometimes.”

“K, I’m confused now...” said Riley, looking between Buffy and Willow, who was nodding along with everything that Buffy said.

“Oh, Riley doesn’t know about the body switch,” said Willow.

“Another body switch?” asked a nervous commando.

“Oh look, now you’ve scared him,” said Dawn.

“Whatever, it’s not important. It doesn’t change the fact that we have things to do and people to see,” said Buffy.

“Two teams. No civilians. I'll, uh ... I'll go out and look for our Doctor. You two find that nest.” Riley handed out assignments to Buffy and Sam.

“Me and Sam together?” asked Buffy. “Great, lets go, Dawn, stay here, you have a test tomorrow, Xander, don’t eat anymore of my chips. Willow....do, whatever you were doing anyway...”

Now that she remembered how this went, she was eager to get it over with.

“I was going to do the locator spell for Sam...”

“I'll check out some bars. Willy's, some, uh, crypts that I know,” said Riley.
__________________________________
Buffy and Sam walked through Restfield and the Slayer was thinking that really she would have liked to have had her coat with her. The tee was not providing the warmth she needed.

“Thanks for letting me tag along,” said Sam keeping up with Buffy‘s brisk walk

“No problem.”

“Maybe not for you. I gotta tell you, Buffy, I'm a little bit intimidated. I mean, patrolling with the real live Slayer, you're like ... Santa Claus, or Buddha, or something.”

“Fat and jolly?” said Buffy looking down at her hips.

“Legendary. And it's not just slayer status I'm talking about. It's you.”

“Riley talks about me?”

“He didn't say anything for a long time, but I could tell. He was ripped up inside.”

“Good thing he has you.”

“More like miraculous. I went down to Central America with the Peace Corps. One night, my entire infirmary got slaughtered by... I didn't know what they were. I got saved, quit the Corps, joined the squad. My first firefight, I met Riley. We started talking, you know, first about tactics, missions, stuff like that. And then about you.”

“He thinks ... I let him go.”

Sam stopped walking. “Do you wish you hadn't?”

“No, not now, maybe when it first happened. I’m glad he’s over me, I’m glad he’s happy.“

“So your fiancé? What’s he like?“

Suddenly Buffy stopped and faced Mrs Finn. “Sam. You know what? Um, I think we should split up.”

“Oh, I'm slowing you down. I knew I would, this was just selfish of me.”

“Oh, no, not really I’m, well I have a kind of informant. He usually knows what’s what in Sunnydale, demon wise.“

“Is he twitchy? Does he, will he have a problem if I come?”

“He shouldn’t. Actually, I’m sure he’d be delighted to meet you,” said Buffy with a knowing smile, changing her mind instantly.

Spike would be delighted to see Sam. The thought that anyone would marry Riley Finn voluntarily would be an oddity enough for Spike to have some interest.

Sam followed Buffy for a while, encroaching even further into Restfield’s depths. They proceeded to Spike’s old crypt and burst through the door.

“He lives in a cemetery?” asked Sam.

“No, he doesn’t live here, he told me he’d be here tonight.”

Sure enough Spike poked his head up from the bottom level of the crypt.

“What’s this about then?” he asked hoisting himself up from the ladder.

“This is Sam, Riley’s wife,” introduced Buffy sweetly.

Spike smiled. “Captain Cardboard’s got himself hitched has he?”

“Samantha Finn,” said Sam, reaching out her hand to shake.

Spike looked at her hand for a few seconds before taking and shaking firmly. Buffy was a little scared that he wasn’t going to shake it at all. Buffy breathed a silent breath of relief.

“Sam, this is Spike, my fiancé,” said Buffy proudly.

“Spike?” asked Sam, “Where have I heard that name before?”

“Probably from Riley,” muttered Buffy.

“Oh right, hostile seventeen, right?” asked Sam.

“I prefer Spike,” he observed.

Here Buffy interrupted. “So Riley and Sam are in town about some sulvote eggs,” said Buffy.

“Oh, is Captain Cardboard starting a nursery school?”

“Spike...” warned Buffy.

“They’re killers, being trafficked by a fellow, calls himself ‘the doctor.’ Do you know him?”

“What if I do?” asked Spike. “I have a few friends in the demon world, won’t be too happy when I start selling them all out to the new initiative.”

“Do you want demons to be sold to foreign countries as weapons?” asked Sam.

“Do you want a mother to come back to her nest and find her spawn missing?” asked Spike. “Under all that GI Jane, there must be some sort of motherly... Forget it, she’s a female Captain Cardboard.”

“Demons don’t care about their children. They can’t love,” said Sam.

Buffy sided up to Spike and planted a kiss on his lips.

“So glad Solider Boy found himself a Soldier Girl,” said Spike, giving his marks on Buffy’s neck a nuzzle.

“You aren’t going to find me very susceptible to insults vampire,” declared Sam.

“Ok, I think it’s time for us to move on,” said Buffy. “Will you be home later? Dawn wanted you to help her on her English paper,” the slayer asked her mate.

“Right Dylan Thomas, bright thing our Bit.”

“That she is. I knew she got something other than her hair colour from you,” beamed Buffy. “Come on Sam.”

“Are we going to leave without searching?” whined the commando.

“I don’t think you understand,” said Buffy, her hands on her hips and standing a little bit away from Spike. “This is my fiancé. I love him, he loves me, I trust him. I don’t need to search.”

“You may trust him, but Riley told me about you, you have a vamp fetish, a vampire slayer who gets off on vampires.”

Buffy snorted.

“Oh right,” said Spike, moving to protect his mate from the verbal onslaught. “How about...”

“Spike, not now, please,” said Buffy cutting him off. “Sam, we can go find Riley.”
__________________________________
Buffy and Sam were having coffee at Buffy’s house. Xander was upstairs with Dawn, attempting to help with homework. Willow was making Portanus in the kitchen for Anya, with Tara and the bride to be were looking on. Mrs Finn glared menacingly at the Slayer when Riley came storming in.

“It was a bust, the Doctor was tipped off,” shouted Riley.

“Yes, come in to my house, Riley,” said Buffy looking up from her mug and after Riley was already in the living room.

“Oh sorry Buffy. Just all our work is for nothing.” Riley looked at his wife with a pout. “The chopper will pick us up in a few minutes. I’m really sorry that I didn’t get to meet your guy Buffy.”

“You will shortly.”

Buffy could tell from her slayer sense tinglies and from her ability to sense her mate, that Spike was approaching the house.

“You never did tell me his name...” started Riley.

“William,’ said Buffy proudly.

And with that Spike entered the house putting Riley on guard.

“Spike,” spat Riley disdainfully.

“Cardboard,” answered Spike, taking his duster off and finding a place on the coat rack.

“What are you doing here?”

“Thought I’d see my girl,” answered Spike, not looking at Riley at all.

“I’m surprised you’re even still around. I can’t believe that Buffy hasn’t staked you yet.”

“Sometimes I wonder that myself.” Spike walked into the kitchen taking a beer out of the fridge and walking back into the living room.

“Do you let him walk around here like he owns the place?” Riley asked Buffy incredulously, missing the glares that his wife was shooting the Slayer and the giggly look the Slayer was sporting.

“I do what I want Soldier Boy, nothing you can do about it.”

“Buffy!” said Riley, expecting his ex to contradict Spike.

“You leave my girl out of this Cardboard.”

“She’s not your girl. She’ll never be your girl.”

Sam snorted.

“Um, Riley...” Buffy tried to interject.

“That’s where you are wrong,” continued Spike.

“What is this a grade school pissing contest. I don’t see your name on her,” continued Riley getting red in the face.

“That’s cause I have clothes covering it up,” said Buffy to no one in general, putting down her mug on the table.

That got Riley’s attention.

“Huh?”

Spike smirked and walked over to kiss the top of Buffy’s head.

“Riley, Spike is my fiancé, my mate, my lover.”

“No, you are just trying to make me feel bad for leaving you.”

“Ooooh, big no to that one, wanna try again?” asked Buffy.

“He’s a vampire.”

“Score one for the kid from Iowa,” said Spike with a snicker.

“But you said...” trailed off the commando.

“Riley , I don’t think I should be held accountable for things that I said to you over a hundred years ago,” complained Buffy.

“Huh?”

“I just love it when he does that...Don’t you?” asked Buffy. “So totally another conversation. The one thing I do remember saying to you though... If I wanted to have a boyfriend with super powers I’d be dating Spike. Remember that Riley?” asked Buffy. “Well it is as true now as then. I discovered I need him.”

Buff flipped her hair away from the side of her neck that held Spike’s marks.

Sam took a hard look at the expanse of skin that Buffy was revealing.

“Wait, you are mated?” asked Sam. “He bit you?”

“Yep, on a wonderfully regular basis actually,” smiled Buffy.

“I don’t know what happened to you Buffy. But you seriously need help,” said Riley.

“I don’t think so Riley. After all I’m not the one that’s tracking a demon OB/GYN.”

The movement in the house ground halt and a deafening silence filled the air. Even Willow stopped stirring her pot on the stove. Then it started, with Anya first, then the Wiccas. The laughter permeated the house, as they all got a good snicker in at Riley.
__________________________________
Buffy followed the angry Riley and his silent wife out into the street. They stood in silence for a long time.

“So, are you and Sam headed back to Central America? Or, is that classified?”

“Nepal,” Riley barked back at Buffy.

“Sounds fun,” said the Slayer sadly.

“I'll send you a postcard.”

“Please don’t be mad, Riley,“ she asked sweetly.

“I’m not supposed to be mad at the fact that you make fun of the work I do, you the high and mighty Vampire Slayer. Throwing it in my face that you are more happy with a vampire than you ever were with me?“

“Huh. Well.... did you wait until your life was absolutely perfect and then send that demon here so you could throw it in my face?”

“Look ... you think this was easy for me?”

“Yeah! I think it was a rollicking adventure, fun for the whole family.”

“I was terrified about seeing you again.”

“I’m sorry I couldn’t be all pathetic for you this time around. I’m happy with my life.“

“If you are happy with that...You let him bite you Buffy... Are you addicted?”

“I’m not like you Riley, and I have a fabulous man on the other end of those bites. He would never do anything to hurt me.”

“Whatever, clearly I can’t reason with you.”

“You really can’t,” she said with a gleam in her eye.

“This isn't about who's on top. I know how lucky I am right now. I love my work, and I love my wife.”

“I know.”

Buffy and Riley turned to see Xander, Dawn, Willow and Sam emerge from the house.

“So you know she’s a demon and you are still marrying her?“ asked Sam of Xander.

“Yep,” said the groom.

“Ex demon!” corrected Dawn. “I’m a bride’s maid.”

Sam smiled an insincere smile at Dawn.

“Can you get out of it?” asked Sam.

“He doesn’t want to get out of it!” said Willow.

Dawn walked up to Riley and put her hands on her hips.

“So you gonna say goodbye this time, or just ... split all secret-agenty like last time?” said the teen.

The whole group looked up at the approaching helicopter.

“Depends. I warrant a hug?” asked Riley.

Dawn didn’t smile. But she hugged him anyway.

“Goodbye, Dawn.”

“Now, get out of here, I don’t want you mucking up my family anymore,“ said Dawn completely seriously.

Riley smiled, thinking that it was supposed to be a joke.

“Oh Riley?“ asked Buffy, wrapping her arms around her sister. “Funny thing...Dawn’s really a key of mystical energy used to open dimensions. She was created from my blood and Spike’s DNA. So Spike is really her father....Isn’t that neat?“

Riley stared blankly at the two sisters.

“It was really nice meeting you all,” said Sam, tapping Riley on the shoulder and rousing him from his bewildered state. “You ready for Nepal, agent?”

Riley shook his head and headed out into the street. Within minutes the pair was gone.

“What a bitch,” said Willow.

“I completely agree,” said Dawn.
__________________________________
tbc...

Chapter 26: Scantily Clad Men...uh Demons

Summery: Anya’s bachelorette party.

Disclaimer: Joss owns them, all I want is my very own naked Spike, preferably chocolate covered, but Joss won’t let me even if I asked nicely.

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The day that Buffy had been planning had come at last. Demons around the world and across dimensions had been awaiting this day.

Anyanka’s bachelorette party was at hand.

The Bronze had been booked, the dancers hired, the boys had been told to bugger off.

Of course getting there was a task.

The covert operation was heavily orchestrated. It is after all hard to pull one over on someone who used to teleport for a living.

Tara placed a cloaking spell on Buffy, Willow, Tara and Dawn and snuck into Anya and Xander’s apartment waiting for the ex demon to get home from the Magic Box.

She guessed that it was them right away of course, when smoke filled the apartment and Dawn snuck forward to place a blindfold on Anya.

“Yay! Bachelorette party!” screamed Anya as they covered her eyes. “And here I thought the only thing I had to look forward to was orgasms with Xander tonight. “Wait!” she protested, “Xander! What is Xander going to do?”

“Monty Python marathon with Spike,” supplied Buffy.

“But he should come!” said Anya sadly.

“No Anya,” said Tara softly “I don’t think Xander would like what we are going to be doing tonight.”

“Oh,” said Anya, “In that case.”

“Great,” said Dawn, “let’s go.”

The teen was eager to get the night started; she was going to be at a party with naked men and booze. And she had her sister’s permission.

Once they got to the Bronze Anya was directed, still blindfolded to the middle of the room. She felt things placed in her hands, and something put on her head. The unmistaken whispers of a multitude of people in the room. The scene before her once the blindfold was removed brought a smile to the ex demon’s face.

Anya was keeping court dressed in a mini veil and holding her sceptre of power, a dildo, which Buffy had pain stakingly glued to a fairy wand she had found at a dollar store.

“Am I getting male strippers?” the ex demon asked.

Buffy gave a her friend a look. “Do you want to ruin the surprise?”

Buffy had booked the Bronze for a private party and had asked for specific bartenders to be on staff that night. Who knew that half of the bar tending staff were demons?

So, Anya was sitting smack dab in the middle of the Bronze’s dance floor, awaiting the fun. Around her were her friends and acquaintances. And the promise of male strippers. It was enough to make a former Vengeance Demon giddy.

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The problem was of course that Xander and Spike, and Giles, who were supposed to be enjoying a Monty Python marathon at Giles’ abode and thus occupied when the women were at the Bronze, were having second thoughts about their intended evening entertainment. As much as they enjoyed Python, to Spike at least it didn’t seem the least bit fair. He knew what Buffy had planned and he didn’t like it one bit that she would ogling some other man’s bits and pieces.

Giles and Xander were of the opinion that they should leave well enough alone. Spike had a hell of time trying to convince the Watcher and the carpenter that it was in their best interest to find out what was going on at the Bronze.

Security was tighter at the Bronze that Spike had ever seen it before. It was as if Buffy knew he was planning to crash.

The door man, a demon named Murray, whom Spike sometimes played poker with turned him, him, Spike, William the Bloody, The Slayer of Slayers away at the door of the Bronze.

“You aren’t on the guest list man,” said Murray. “And it’s the Slayer who’s hired us all tonight.”

“Who, is my bloody mate, mate.”

“Makes no difference, Spike,” said Murray. “She’s the freakin’ Slayer.”

At which point Xander piped up and said he’d much rather just watch the movies.

“That’s bollocks!” protested Spike. “I’m bloody going in there. They can’t keep me out.”

Xander shrugged his shoulders and Giles cleaned his glasses.

Spike motioned for Xander and Giles to follow him around to the back of the Bronze, that same alley where he had first glimpsed his slayer.

There was a door man there too.

“Bloody Hell,” Spike muttered under his breath.

He ducked behind some crates planning his next move. Fortunately for him, a van pulled up at the back entrance and out walked the entertainment for tonight's party. Five male dancers dressed in leather jackets, carrying what Spike assumed were their working clothes. Spike motioned for Giles and Xander to follow. The vampire snuck up close to the dancers noticing just a bit of an odd feeling from the gents. He didn’t really have an opinion on the fact that demon girl’s dancers were demons passing as humans.

Sneaking past the doorway and the doorman, put Spike, Giles and Xander near the women’s washrooms.

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Buffy Summers was the Slayer. Therefore when a large number of demons entered the already teeming bar Buffy’s senses were on alert. The thing that made her laugh though, was the fact that she could sense her mate with this large group of demons. She knew that the dancers were scheduled to arrive right now. Spike must have snuck in with them. And she was completely prepared to make him pay for crashing the party she had worked so hard on.

The music started and the dancers came out on stage. Buffy sat back in her chair and waited for the right moment. The ten or so dancers that walked out on the stage, clad in tear away pants and tight mesh t shirts. Buffy didn’t know how this look was attractive, but it was Anya’s party and it was Anya’s fantasy. Buffy closed her eyes and pictured her own personal sex demon. He was back stage still hiding. But not for long.

Buffy waved over the manager of the dancers.

“Ivor, are you sure that this is the whole group? Cause my slayer sense is doing the wacky, I really don’t want to have to check back stage during Anyanka’s party. It would really ruin the occasion if I had to slay any crashers,” said Buffy sweetly.

Buffy fluttered her eye lashes at the demon manager. He muttered something about stupid vampires and headed off in the direction of the back stage area. In the mean time, Buffy attention drifted back to the man who was shaking his ass in her direction. He was hot, yes, but he wasn’t Spike.

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Spike cursed his luck that not only was he now sticking to the shadows in the back of the Bronze, with Giles and Xander, but also that his mate was sending him signals that she was extremely turned on. And there was no way that he was going to let her get turned on by another man.

“Hey!” barked and man’s voice. “What are you guys doing back here.”

“Uh...” stammered Xander looking for an excuse.

“Bloodly hell,” muttered Spike.

“The Slayer knows that there are demons lurking back here. If you don’t leave, so help me...” said Ivor.

Spike rolled his eyes. He didn’t know the bloke in front of him, but he wasn’t going to let that stop him.

“Are you afraid that the Slayer won’t pay you if she has to get up off her hiney kick some demon ass? Is that it?” asked Spike.

Ivor nodded.

“Don’t worry mate,” said Spike patting the demon on the back. “You’ll get paid. I guarantee it.”

There was commotion behind Ivor as one of his assistants came running up behind him.

“The Slayer, *pant* she wants *pant*,” the assistant huffed and puffed. Finally regaining his breath the man continued. “She said that the dancers, they are all wrong. That the Bride is loving it, but she wanted something else. She wanted a blond. None of the guys have blond hair. She’s gonna slay us all.”

The assistant fretted for a moment ringing his hands.

“That’s just fabulous,” said Ivor.

Spike let a smirk cross his face. He knew just what was on Buffy’s mind.

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“Wouldn’t it be wonderful if Xander were here?” asked Anya as she slurped down another margarita.

Buffy smiled at her friend. Buffy really didn’t think that it would be all that wonderful if Xander were here. Especially if he knew that the men Anya was currently ogling were demons. Xander was funny that way.

But the Slayer’s full attention was the stage, where she hoped any minute now, Ivor would grant her request. The lights dimmed and the dancers hastily gathered up the discarded clothing from the previous dance. Anya was nodding emphatically to a couple of her friends about the fabulousness of the evening and Dawn was gulping down a glass of water after having drunk something she really shouldn’t have. Willow and Tara were off in a corner of the club chatting with each other, neither one interested in the entertainment that evening.

The music started again. Anya clapped.

“Ooooh,” gushed Anya turning to look at her Maid of Honour. “This is so much fun!”

The beat of the music pulsed against Buffy’s brain, and unconsciously the slayer began to tap out the rhythm of the song with her foot. A smile lit up her face when she saw movement and the dancers came out on stage wearing jeans, a construction hat and tool belt.

Buffy heard Anya clap again. Buffy sighed, well it was her party after all. And Anya deserved to be happy. Buffy turned in her seat at the bar and attempted to get the bar tender’s attention, to order another drink. Her brain immediately drifted to memories of watching Cocktail with Dawn last week and how they would have loved to be quoted verse by their respective lovers, not that Dawn had one.

Buffy had even divulged the fact that Spike was poetry capable, but didn’t as a rule, it conflicted with the Big Bad persona.

The bar tender tonight had not given Buffy much to think about, he was ok looking, but now that the Slayer observed just how fine his butt was...naughty thoughts were springing into Buffy’s head. Buffy leaned on the bar, her head in her hand, letting her imagination run away with her. The fact that the bar tender had magically transformed himself into Spike in her thoughts was just a happy effect of being that particular vampire’s mate.

“Buffy! are you watching this?” asked Anya.

Buffy snapped out of her daze and reverted her eyes to the stage, and the ten men who were causing all the women in the room to blush. Buffy reassured the bride that she was watching, but as she turned back to the bar tender’s fine bottom, she was distracted by the flash of platinum blond hair and a leather coat that she caught out of the corner of her eye.

Buffy smiled. There he was. Turning to the bar tender she finally ordered her drink.

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Spike whipped through the bar, a brief glimpse of his mate at the bar. The naughty thoughts that were being sent through the claim only meant one thing, that bar tender was going to get a piece of the Big Bad’s mind later on.

Ivor had led him to an office, to suit him up with appropriate attire for this favour he was doing the manager. Spike rolled his eyes as Ivor described the best way to remove clothing.

“Look mate, I’ve been wearing clothes and taking them off a lot longer than you’ve been alive, I think I can handle it.”

Ivor gave him a look. “Well when there are fifty screaming women reaching out to grab your goodies, don’t complain to me.”

“Fifty at once huh?” speculated Spike.

“Don’t even think about it Spike,” said Xander who appeared beside him. “Buffy would hang you by your toenails.”

Spike nodded. “But the idea isn’t unpleasant.”

Both Xander and Giles nodded.

Ivor thrust the clothes at Spike. “Get moving. Slayer only booked us for two hours, you have fifteen minutes to get on that stage.”

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“Dawn!” whispered a frantic Giles.

Dawn did a double take, Giles was in the Bronze. “Oh My God, Giles what the hell are you doing here? You know if you get caught, Buffy’s gonna be mad, and Anya will probably make you get up and dance.”

“I am frightfully aware of that. This has all been a horrible mistake. Please, I beg you, get me out of here.”

Dawn put her hands on her hips, in a very Buffy-eque manner. “And just how did you get in here to begin with?”

“Damn smug Vampires and their whims.”

Dawn nodded. “Spike, of course. Well I think the best way for you to sneak out of here would be to sneak out of here Giles.”

“Truly marvellous help you have turned out to be Dawn,” said the Watcher annoyed.

“Yeah, well I try,” said Dawn smartly, flouncing away.

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Xander had lost Giles. Suddenly feeling very self conscious and extremely paranoid that his intended bride was going to find him crashing her party, Xander made his way cautiously towards the back of the club, looking out for either Giles, who it seemed had disappeared, or Spike, who at this very moment was preparing to flaunt himself in front of the female population of the Bronze.

He had had a few close calls, but so far, Xander remained undetected.

“Come to see me off then?” asked Spike suddenly coming out of the bathroom.

“Not really, hiding in fear, really,” answered Xander.

Spike nodded. “Makes sense, not man enough to handle your own fiancée, never mind a room full of sexually charged women. Surprised your still standing upright and all.”

Xander glared at the vampire that he sometimes considered to have a passing acquaintance with. “I’m looking for Giles...”

Spike shook his head sadly. “The Watcher’s gotten himself into some trouble.” Spike pointed out into the main room.

Giles was currently surrounded by at least ten women, pulling at his clothes. He had been caught. They would be bringing him to Anya for judgement any second now. Xander cringed. Poor Giles.

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Buffy smiled as Giles was brought before Anya. A sickly sweet smile passed over the ex demon’s face. Another song started over the loud speakers. All eyes drifted over to the stage, but as no one came out from the back stage area, the assembled women began to voice their dissatisfaction.

Before their vengeful gazes could be turned in Giles’ direction though, Buffy felt a hand on her shoulder. She turned to see Spike, clad in his regular attire, standing behind her.

Buffy opened her mouth to protest his intrusion and to make a comment about how he could have at least tried not to get caught, when Spike placed his index finger on her lips effectively shutting her up.

Spike’s hips began to move to the music, making Buffy sway long side him. Buffy licked her lips as she watched her lover, her mate, her vampire, seductively remove his clothing until he was clad only in his jeans. There were appreciative murmurs coming from the crowd, causing Buffy to glare back at them all.

At the end of the song, Spike picked up his coat, and tee, and headed off to the back stage area, like most of the other dancers.

“Oh no you don’t,” said Buffy holding him back. “You don’t tease the Slayer, Vampire,” she said with a smirk. “Closet, now.”

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Xander watched Buffy and Spike slink off into the shadows, knowing full well what exactly they were going to be doing. He looked hopefully at Anya, who was smiling from the show and talking with one of her demon friends. He moved closer to the pair, hoping to surprise Anya, so that they could go and have their own closet adventure.

“And to think that at one point in my life I gave that up?” said Hallie wistfully. “I don’t see how you can honestly think that your human male can compare to the lusciousness of the men we’ve seen here today, Anyanka.”

“Pfft, Hallie, Xander is fine, and he’s mine. Sure demons have more stamina, more endurance, more flexibility, but, then again, I’m not a demon anymore. Xander is perfect for me, he’s loving and he cares about me. I love him Hallie, and he loves me.”

Xander shrank back into the shadows. The carpenter was feeling just a little inadequate after that speech exalting the virtues of the demon man.

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tbc...

Summery: Anya and Xander’s wedding.

Disclaimer: Joss is god. I am a lowly plebe in the world of Spuffy.

Author’s note: Some dialogue taken from “Hell’s Bells.” Thanks to BTL who gave a second opinion on this chapter.

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It wasn’t raining. Buffy was wearing a beautifully well cut mint green coloured dress that accentuated her curves. It had been oh so very long since she’d been to a wedding, and even longer that she’d been an actual participant in one.

Despite her doubts about Xander and Anya were still planning to go through with it. The collected masses of relatives, demon and other wise were living at Xander’s house, Buffy’s house and even at Giles’ apartment.

She just prayed that this time the wedding wouldn’t end in heartbreak and vengeance. Buffy had been having nightmares for days now. She had woken up Spike in the middle of the night with her pointed toes, kicking.

All Spike could comprehend was that it was about the wedding. He had fears about how hard she would kick in dreams about her own wedding.

In the end Buffy enjoyed this wedding much more than the last Anya/Xander wedding she had attended. Possibly because Spike was her date, and skanky ho girl from the past wasn’t making a guest appearance.

The Harris family were still very much on the bigoted side, Anya’s demon relations were hard to deal with too, but some how they all made it to the ceremony without killing each other. A marvel that Buffy still did not quite understand. Mr Harris had still barfed in her pink purse, and one of Anya’s demon relations had inadvertently turned a rabbit fur coat worn by a distant Harris relation into a real rabbit, causing panic and a near fainting from Anya. And all this at the rehearsal dinner.

Buffy led Xander to the altar by the hand, as he expressed the need to keep his parents away from the bar. Buffy nodded with understanding, she had done this before, she was aware of the Harris’ propensity for liquor.

Buffy’s new cell phone rang. Buffy rolled her eyes as she listened to the song it sang to her, ‘I Wanna be Sedated’ Spike had obviously been playing with her phone again.

“Yes, my undead lover?” asked Buffy sweetly into the phone earning a grossed out look from the groom beside her.

In the lobby Spike, dressed in a tux, was holding his own phone to his ear while holding up an old man by the collar.

“We have a crasher, love,” responded Spike, “Smells demony.”

“Earlier than I expected really,” noted Buffy. “Well go ahead and do what you want with him, just don’t you dare get blood on your tux. Or goo! No goo on that tux!”

Buffy sensed her mate roll his eyes.

“Hey!” protested Buffy from the back of the hall. “No eye rolling, You are going to be wearing that thing for your own wedding in a few months. No goo!”

“Bloody Buggering Hell,” muttered the vampire as he flipped his phone closed.

Back next to Xander, Buffy apologized to her friend. She wasn’t going to let this wedding end the way the other one did.

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Buffy let Xander do the meet and greet thing for a few minutes, and headed to the bar, where she forcibly removed Xander’s father from the bar. Unfortunately she couldn’t do that without enduring a few comments from Mr Harris that she really didn’t want to hear.

“Nice chassis, what's under the hood? Rrowr!” slurred the inebriated man.

“You know, I could use a strong cup of coffee. Hey, let's get you one too, what do you say?” asked Buffy.


“Did you used to own a little square pinkish purse?” continued the father of the groom.


Buffy sighed sadly remembering the purse that this particular man had puked in the night before at the rehearsal dinner. “I did.”

Mr. Harris pinched her ass.

Buffy let out a squeak and slapped the man’s hand away. Sure she was flattered that a man so much younger than her was interested in her, but eww, he was Xander’s father.

On their way to the kitchen for that cup pf coffee, Buffy passed Spike, who was doing his duty as usher. Buffy smiled as she heard a small possessive growl in Mr Harris’ direction.

“I thought so. Hey, what do you say we slip in the back room and I show you my-” continued Mr. Harris.


“You finish that sentence and I guarantee you won't have anything to show,” threatened the Slayer.

Buffy and Mr. Harris continued on their way, this time passing Halfrek who was looking for Anya.

“I’m late, I know! But D’Hoffryn, you really can’t say no to that man can you?” said Halfrek.

“Willow did,” observed Buffy, quietly.

“Beg your pardon?” asked Hallie.

“Willow is with Anya I think, in the dressing room, you should go there, the wedding should start soon.”

With another pinch on her rear, Buffy finally managed to get the inebriated father of the groom into the kitchen and a cup of coffee into his hand. Leaving him in the capable hands of one of the caterers, Buffy headed back out into the fray.

Halfrek and Spike had met up. At the back of the hall, the two demons were exchanging thinly veiled insults.


“Why William, the tuxedo does so much more for you than the tweed you used to wear,” observed Hallie.

“Why thank you Cecily, I am sorry that I can’t say the same for your present attire.”

Buffy snickered. Hallie’s dress, while it was the same as Buffy’s looked like it had been made for someone else. It wasn’t the most flattering garment that the demon could have worn.

Hallie flashed Spike a sick smile then noticed Buffy.

“There you are Slayer, I seem to be a little turned around, could you possibly show me to Anya’s side, I’m sure she is waiting for her Maid of Honour to show up, so that the ceremony can start.”

Buffy and Spike shared a look.

“Halfrek, you do realise that I am the Maid of Honour right?” asked Buffy.

Halfrek put her hands on her hips. “Maybe that’s what Anyanka told you so that you would do all this planning for her, but really, I’ve known her longer than you’ve been alive sweetie. Why would she want you to be her Maid of Honour?”

“Perhaps, due to the fact that Buffy has actually spends time with demon girl..” noted Spike, standing up for his mate.

“Please, that Anyanka would enjoy hanging out with humans, much less the Slayer is laughable. She’s a demon through and through.”

Buffy’s fists clenched at her sides.

“Mind you it seems that you attract demons don’t you, Slayer?” continued the vengeance demon. “Does he recite his poetry to you? Is it just as awful as it ever was?”

Buffy took a deep breath and smiled up at Halfrek. She could feel the waves of anger coming off her mate. Buffy stepped between the two former acquaintances.

“Perhaps this isn’t the best place to....” started Buffy.

“You shut your demon trap, Cecily,” spouted Spike, his fangs and bumpies coming out.

Buffy knew that his poetry was the one thing that he didn’t tolerate teasing about.

“Isn’t it like you William, hiding in the skirts of your mommy.”

“EXCUSE ME?” yelled Buffy. “I am NOT his mommy.”

“Don’t have a bloody Oedipus complex,” Spike muttered.

By now the wedding guests had directed their attention away from the differences between them, and the commotion that the trio were causing.

“Oh no?” continued Halfrek. “Let’s look at the track record? Your mother? Drusilla?”

The fighting was interrupted at this point by Dawn coming from Anya’s dressing room.

“There you are!” said Dawn frantically. “Anya is looking for you, something about how she wants Matron of Honour time, or something like that. And Spike, one of the wedding gifts has gotten loose.”

“Loose?” asked Buffy.

Dawn nodded, “It has tentacles.”

“Matron of Honour?” asked Halfrek. “Did I miss something?”

Buffy smiled in Halfrek’s direction. “Oh did I forget to tell you? That’ s too bad then,” said Buffy with a smile. “Let’s go see Anya.”

Buffy turned Halfrek around and pushed her in the direction they needed to go.

The last thing Buffy heard from the assembled congregation as she passed through the doorway was Xander’s mom shouting, “You mean demons are real? They’re all demons?”

Buffy let out a groan.

“Buffy!” came Dawn’s eager voice from the corridor. “Isn’t it great, Andrew got a day pass for the wedding!”

Buffy felt like her head was going to explode. Well, at least she had her own teeth, and she had put on clean underwear this morning, small reassurances when her head really did explode. This was Sunnydale after all.

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Anya was ecstatic when Buffy arrived in the dressing room.

“Buffy! I need you, Tara is clearly bored of my vows by now. I need another opinion.” Anya was staring into the mirror in front of her, only catching the reflection of Buffy in the mirror, Halfrek was still out of view.

Buffy took a look at the blond witch on the floor by Anya’s feet, sitting on the edge of the platform. She was looking a little weary.

Buffy flashed a smile at Tara and sat down beside the witch.

“Ok, hit me with it Anya,” said Buffy indicating that she was ready for Anya’s vows.

Anya turned and gasped. “Hallie! When did you get here?” asked the bride.

“Just now, the Slayer led me here.”

“Excellent, I’ve got maybe ten minutes before the ceremony. Hallie, you need your bouquet. You didn’t come to the rehearsal, you are just going to have to wing it.”

“I’ll show you where we are keeping the bouquets,” said Tara, standing up and taking the vengeance demon by the hand.

Halfrek looked back towards the bride in time for her to hear Anya start in on her vows.

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Buffy wiped away a tear and smiled at her friend.

“Oh Anya, I’m so happy for you,” said Buffy adjusting the bride’s veil.

“I’m happy for me, I’d be happier if Xander’s family would realise that demons are people too. It has been most trying having them live with us.”

Buffy nodded. “I can only anticipate badness when I have Spike’s relatives in for our wedding.”

“Drusilla, Angel?” Anya laughed.

Buffy paused for a moment to consider what Drusilla would do to a room full of her ordinary human relatives and shuddered.

“Are you ready for this?” Buffy asked, meaning the ceremony.

Anya nodded. “Xander’s gonna be there, right at the altar, waiting to marry me?”

“I hope so,” said Buffy.

Buffy took her hand and helped her off the platform that she had been standing on.

“No matter what happens Anya, you are my friend too.”

“Oh,” said Anya, “I want to hug you, but I’d wreck the dress. Mental hug?”

Buffy smiled. “Mental hug.”

Buffy led Anya to the lobby, from which she was going to enter the main hall and take Xander as her husband. There was shouting coming from inside the hall. Buffy sincerely hoped that it wasn’t what she thought it was. The Slayer peaked inside the hall to find that it was humans on one side, and demons on the other, a stand off of sorts, with Xander and Spike trying to referee.

“Demons!” shouted Mrs. Harris. “You are marrying a demon?”

“She’s not a demon anymore!” retorted Xander.

“And what’s wrong with demons?” asked one of Anya’s guests.

“Well they’re evil,” retorted Xander’s Uncle Rory.

“They are not! Not all of them!” shouted Dawn.

“She’s probably one of them too!” shouted Mrs. Harris.

“You leave the bit out of this!” challenged Spike.

“Silence!” screamed Willow, power sparking out from the tips of her fingers. “Everyone sit down!” A wave of power flashed out from the mint clad Best Person. The whole crowd of assembled guests and wedding party members were forced down into seats.

“Xander and Anya are getting married, regardless of your bickering! Yes Demons exist, yes Anya used to be one. Get over it! Xander is happy with her, shouldn't’ that be enough?”

The mutterings in the room ceased and they all looked the witch who had them confined in their seats.

“Willow? Are you a demon too?” asked Mrs Harris reluctantly.

“No!” shouted the witch.

“She’s a witch,” said Dawn proudly.

“Cool,” noted Andrew, who was confined in a chair on the bride’s side of the room.

From her safety on the other side of the doorway, Buffy giggled. Then she stopped. This was wrong. It was wrong to laugh at Willow’s over use of power.

“What’s going on in there?” asked the bride.

Buffy turned sheepishly to Anya.

“Slight seating argument,” said the slayer.

Willow’s voice cut through the wooden door. “Xander get you ass to the altar, Bride’s maids and Giles to the back. Let’s get this wedding going already.”

“I think there’s something wrong with Willow,” said Anya nervously.

Buffy agreed.

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tbc...



__________________________________________
Chapter 28: A Willow in the Land of Denial

Buffy poked her head back into the main hall. All the guests and bridal party were still stuck in the magically bound chairs that Willow had forced them into.

“Willow?“ asked Dawn with fear in her voice. “We need to get up to do the whole Bride’s Maid thing.“ Dawn tried to move from her magical restraints.

An embarrassed smile came over the witch’s face. “Sorry,“ she said, waving her hand in the direction of the various members of the wedding party.

Tara stood up with a grimace on her face, but followed Willow and the other Bride’s Maids to the back of the hall.
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“What did you do!” yelled Anya once the rest of her Bride’s Maids, and Giles were on the same side of the wooden door separating her from the guests at her wedding.

Willow shrunk back from the bride. “I...I made them stop.”

“By magic-ing them to their seats? Ya good move Willow. There are like twenty Vengeance Demons out there right now, do you really think that they are gonna be like this crowd when you muck up a spell. It’s all ‘La La La Willow screwed up a spell again, don’t worry Buffy’ll fix it’ Not with these guys Willow. Vengeance Demons!”

Hallie nodded. “It’s true! I mean, aside from the fact that D’Hoffryn once wanted to recruit you, you are screwed.”

Willow’s face had scared look on it.

“What have I done?” she whimpered.

“I’m sure everything will work out fine,” said Buffy, pushing people into place. “And afterwards, Willow and I are going to have a talk about how we don’t use magic on wedding guests.”

“Or your friends,” added Tara.

Willow gulped. With a sigh and a nod, Buffy let the musicians know it was time to start the ceremony.
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Standing at the makeshift altar, in front of the justice of the peace, Buffy couldn’t help but drift off into her own dream world as the ceremony droned on.

Of course Buffy’s dream world consisted of what exactly her own wedding to Spike was going to be like. It wasn’t something new that she had been fantasizing about. Literally every wedding she had had with whomever it was she was marrying, all six of them, she would think of some new thing that she wanted as part of her make believe fantasy wedding with Spike. But each of these details were between her and her then dead and dust lover, and not for her soon to be husband.

Now, a hundred years and a bit backwards in time, Buffy was going to get her wish. She had his ring on her finger, his bite marks on her neck. She was whole, complete, she only had to make sure he survived the First.

Buffy was so caught up in her own fantasies that she was completely surprised by the loud yell that was coming from the mouth of the Bride.

Buffy turned in shock, watching her friend crumple in pain. As only the wedding party were mobile at this point, there was a massive conglomeration of mint and black around the falling Bride in white. There was however one member of the wedding party that did nothing to aid her friend. Halfrek watched on impassively as Anya writhed in pain.

And Xander noticed.

“Make it stop!” he yelled at the Vengeance Demon.

Halfrek raised her hands in defence. “I’m not doing it.”

“Then who?” asked Buffy, kneeling beside Anya, her face contorted in pain.

“I’d raise my hand if I could,” said D’Hoffryn, still clamped down in his seat. “I honestly thought that the ceremony would be over by now. It’s been a while since the last human wedding I attended, I thought they were much shorter.”

“What are you doing to her?” asked Xander, his body language implying a threat, but really, it was Xander after all.

“It’s her wedding gift. Elevation is painful. She knows this. Happened to her a thousand years ago,” answered the bearded demon.

Anya’s screams stopped. Everyone turned to look at the Bride that was trying to raise herself up off the floor. Her dress was making that difficult. With the help of Tara and Dawn, Anya regained her feet and began fiddling with the new addition to her jewellery.

The pendant glittered all by itself, regardless of the light, the green stone reflecting off the golden setting.

“Oh D’Hoffryn, it’s beautiful,” said the new demon fingering her new pendant.

“Hey, hold on a minute. I thought wedding gifts were supposed to be for the Bride AND the Groom,” pointed out Xander.

Anya ignored him. “Thank you so much!” Anya gushed.

“Welcome back to the fold, Anyanka,” said Halfrek, giving her friend a hug.

“There will be no folding!” shouted Xander. “Don’t I get any say in this, you can’t just be a demon again.”

“It’s a gift Xander it’s not a job,” said Anya, then turned to D‘Hoffryn for clarification. “It isn’t is it?”

“No strings attached, consider yourself, freelance,” said D’Hoffryn.

“See?” Anya said smugly to her groom. “No strings attached. I can do vengeance if I want. Plus, I can teleport again. No more walking for me. The morning commute will be much less hassle.”

There were murmurings from both sides of the congregation, that grew louder as the seconds ticked by.

“So what you are telling us, is that you are now marrying a demon, a real demon?” came Mrs Harris’ voice.

There was silence from Xander. Anya took a long hard look at her fiancé.

Buffy watched with fascination as she saw Xander gulp and wipe his brow before speaking. The whole population of the hall focused on the next words he said.

“Of course I do, Anya,” he finally said.

There had been a lot of hesitation in his voice. They all had heard it.

Anya shook her head. “I don’t really think you do, Xander. I think you want to be married to a nice, normal human girl. I would have thought by now that you would have figured it out that I’m not. I’ve been a demon longer than your ancestors could claim they were literate, and I don’t want to have a husband that only marries me because after some hard thinking is what he knows is the right thing. It would have meant a lot more Xander, if you had answered right away. I can’t marry you today Xander.”

The crowd erupted into frantic talking.

“Ahn, please,” Xander begged reaching out for her.

“No Xander. I need to go somewhere to think. And I think maybe you do too. I love you Xander really I do, I just don’t think you are ready for this kind of change in me.”

Anya stepped off the carpet handed her bouquet to Buffy and in a flash of green light, was gone.
__________________________________________
In the week that followed, an outsider really couldn’t have seen that much had changed within the Scooby group as a whole. Anya still ran the Magic Box, while Giles put his energy into researching what ever it was that Buffy needed to research, demon wise. Buffy spent a good deal of her mornings there too, with her brand new lap top typing up her notes from her personal research.

The glaring changes was Xander Harris’ nervousness every time he stopped by. He didn’t know how to act around the woman/demon that professed to still love him, but didn’t want to marry him. He looked lost, not knowing what his life’s direction was now.

Anya had moved back into Arashamahar, and teleported to work each day. She stayed at the Magic Box because she enjoyed it, and Buffy was extremely proud of her friend for resisting the urge to do vengeance.

It was a nervous dance they were participating in, making Buffy extremely glad she was sure of her relationship with Spike.

The other relationship in Buffy’s house, Willow and Tara, wasn’t faring too well.

Tara had been extremely not happy with Willow’s display of power at the wedding and binding her to a chair. There are had been words, uncharacteristically harsh words coming from Tara. The next strike would be strike three. Willow had to learn that people were not dolls to be played with.

And Buffy whole heartedly agreed.
__________________________________________
A week after the wedding, Buffy rolled over in bed, and gave her fiancé a kiss full on the mouth, waking him from his slumber. She felt like this would be a good day.

Batting away the arms of her lover, who was trying to draw her back into bed, Buffy pulled the covers over him, covering what one assumed was his naked glory. Sitting down at her mirror she began combing out her long blond hair and humming quietly to herself.

It was a tune that she hadn’t heard in a while, a love song that had been popular when she was younger, 40 or so. She had used to sing it to Eleanor.

“What’s with the humming pet?” asked a sleepy Spike.

Buffy turned back to him with a smile. “Just happy. It’s gonna be a good day.”

“How do you figure that then?”

“I’m big with the positive thinking today I guess. The sun is shining, birds are singing, it’s a beautiful day. And ooh, I have my own teeth, so bonus there,” she said with a smile and a laugh.

Dawn had a test, Willow was moping about Tara and Tara was grumpy about Willow, so Buffy made French toast.

“A full tummy makes everyone alert and prepared for the days events,” the Slayer said briskly, shovelling food onto her sister’s plate.

“You haven’t been switched with another you from the future have you?” asked Dawn poking at her French toast.

“Nope,” said Buffy, “it’s the same old switched from the future me.”

“Did Spike propose again?” asked Tara.

Buffy shook her head.

“You got smoochies last night,” observed Dawn.

The three other women gave her a look.

“What?” said Dawn shovelling more food into her mouth.

“For your information, Dawn Summers, I get smoochies every night, so why should it make a difference?” asked Buffy.

“Don’t know, you are just spectacularly happy this morning,” noted Dawn.

“And I can’t be happy?”

“You can be happy,” said Willow. “But it still freaks us out.”
__________________________________________
Buffy happy mood was contagious. When Spike properly woke up he had decided that today he was gonna be singing the entire Ramones song collection, with several lapses into ‘I Wanna Be Sedated’ for good measure.

Dawn had arrived home her Math test in hand, proudly presenting to anyone who dared show any interest her fabulous 91% score.

Buffy went looking in the Magic Box broom closet for a broom only to find Anya and Xander making out in said closet.

They had all settled into what seemed to be their Tuesday night ritual of looking through spell books, attempting to find that elusive spell that Buffy was convinced existed somewhere. Giles had even broken out his hoard of imported shortbread for this occasion.

After a few hours of mindless flipping through books, Buffy was beginning to think that her happy feeling this morning was all for nothing. Sure it was nice to be happy, but Spike singing ‘Gimme Gimme Shock Treatment’ was starting to get on her nerves. Several times she had just wanted to scream that she needed something new.

In fact, she was on her way across the room to ask him politely to stop singing when Spike looked up from the musty book he was holding.

“This what you are looking for then, love?” he asked the silent room.

Buffy peered over his shoulder and broke into a huge smile.

“That would be it,” she confirmed, after having read the spell over. “Boy are you gonna get some serious smoochies tonight.” Buffy took the book from her fiancé, taking a moment to bite down on her marks that adorned his neck.

Spike let out a small moan of pleasure, capturing her lips as she pulled away from his neck.

“Ug, get a room,” said Dawn. “No kid wants to see her parents get it on, biological or adoptive. And if I didn’t want to see Mom and Dad go at it once upon a time, I certainly don’t want to see you two.”

Buffy rolled her eyes at her sister/daughter/mystical key and promptly sat down in Spike’s lap.

“This is a pretty complicated spell, it calls for three witches or warlocks and a whole slew of ingredients for the potion that we bathe the ‘item of mystical power whose essence is to be transformed.’” Buffy stared at the spell, committing the list of ingredients to memory. “There is even some things that we need that the Magic Box doesn’t carry. Anya you might have to do some Ebay shopping for us.”

“Goody,” said the demon.

“So these three witches or warlocks...” said Willow hesitantly.

Buffy noticed from the moment the spell had been found that Willow was itching to hold the book in her hands. Buffy took a deep breath, she didn’t really want to deal with this issue right now, but then she’d been putting off the whole Willow thing for such a long time.

“Willow this spell, it’s a lot of power. It needs people who know how to control their own power and I don’t think that’s you,” said Buffy seriously.

“The thing at the wedding that wasn’t, I didn’t mean to be scary Willow. I just got angry,” explained Willow.

“That’s what she means Willow. You get angry and your power takes you over,” added Tara.

Willow slid further into her chair. “Who else are you going to get? I’m powerful. I can help.”

“I know you can,” said Buffy soothingly. “I just don’t want to have to deal with black eyed Willow after the spell.”

“I didn’t go black eyed Willow when I brought you here,” Willow muttered so low that only Vampire ears could have picked it up.

Unfortunately for Willow, there was a Vampire in the room.

“Say that again,” ordered Spike.

“Nothing...I said nothing,” defended Willow.

“You said something, something that I know the rest will want to hear.”

Willow cringed and shook her head.

Dawn stood up in front of her and crossed her arms. “We’re just gonna hound you until you tell. We’re really good at that kind of thing.”

“Ok,” gulped Willow. “I did it. The spell that put future Buffy into our Buffy’s body. I did it. It wasn’t supposed to end up the way that it did. But hey everything worked out right? Everyone’s happy?”

“You did it?” asked Tara, “All this time and you didn’t tell anyone?”

“I was afraid of all the ‘grr faces’ looks like I was right too, cause, you all, grr.”

Buffy jumped off Spike’s lap and walked towards her friend. “I’m not grr Willow. In fact, thank you. Thank you for mucking up a spell so that I could relive my life. The thing is though, the spell that needs being done now, it can’t go wrong. One wrong thing and it could go kerblewy. I’m talking end of the Slayers, end of the world. That’s not something that we can forgive and forget, cause we won’t be alive to do so. I really hope you understand. Until you learn to control your power, you are very much in danger of letting it control you.”

Willow stood up from her seat. “You don’t know that that’s going to happen! It’s just a guess.”

“It’s not a guess Willow. In my world, the first time, a couple of weeks from now, you try to end the world. Magic takes you over. And not good fluffy puppy magic either.”

“I wouldn’t do that...”

“But you did, and I’m afraid, Willow, so desperately afraid that it’ll happen again.”
__________________________________________
tbc...


Only two chapters left!

Disclaimer: The Characters of BTVS and ATS are the property of Joss Whedon and various other people/entities. I am only using them for fun and entertainment only. This is the sad reality that hits me when I wake up from my naked Spike filled dreams.

Author’s note: Some dialogue taken from ‘All the Way’
__________________________________________
Chapter 29: Monsters in the Closet

Willow stormed back into 1630 Revello drive livid. She was the Scooby witch, not Tara. Why wouldn’t Buffy let her help? Stupid knowing things from the future. She had to make them see, see how she was in control of her magic, not the other way around. But what to do?

As it usually was with Willow, lately anyway, her eyes lighted upon one of her spell books. With a flick of her fingers the book shot out at her, and nimbly she caught the heavy volume opening it to a spell she had been looking at for some time.

Tapping into hidden power. She had been wanting to do the spell for herself, but now was not the time to think selfishly.

Willow picked up the phone and dialled.

“Amy?” Willow asked. “I need help with a spell.”
__________________________________________
“Do you really think that this is the right thing to do Willow?” asked Amy looking over the spell that the red headed witch had placed in front of her.

“It’s not a matter of right or wrong, it’s a matter of need. Dawnie just can’t go around without knowing how powerful she is. Power like that can’t be ignored. She could be very useful to the Scooby gang.”

“It looks dangerous though, Willow, this is like nothing I’ve ever done before.”

Willow stood up from Amy’s kitchen table. “Are you scared? Is that it? Scared of power?”

“Little bit, ya. Isn’t that a healthy fear though?”

Willow sent a confused look at her fellow witch friend. “You are starting to sound like Buffy.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment,” retorted the witch. “I can’t help you with this Willow, I’m not that kind of witch anymore.”

“And what kind of witch is that Amy?” asked an angry Willow.

“Your kind of witch Willow.”
__________________________________________
Willow sat in the dank darkness of an abandoned crypt, the spiders had long scampered away from the witch and her magic potion ingredients. The vials of strange liquids, baggies of herbs and the dozen or so candles had all been laid out for ease of use. Before her sat a small cauldron, bubbling away over a candle.

The witch was muttering to herself. “This will show them, show them that my ideas and my magic are useful. After I do this spell they will be so grateful. Dawnie will like me above anyone else. They will wonder how they ever got along before.”

Willow changed her muttering to chanting and slowly the cauldron and it’s contents began to glow.
__________________________________________
Buffy woke up to a vampire purring next to her. A naked vampire. With a smile and a playful push, she woke him up.

“When did you get in last night?” she asked, her voice sounding like she just woke up, cause, well, she did.

Spike groaned and rolled onto his back, putting his left forearm across his forehead. “I could ask you the same thing pet,” he said with difficulty.

Last night, after Spike had found the spell, and Willow had stormed out of the Magic Box, they had gone out to the Bronze for some ‘We just found the spell that’s gonna save the world’ partying. Somewhere in the course of the evening, Buffy and Spike had gotten separated, Buffy sticking with Dawn and Spike finding himself completely sloshed and making Xander and Giles join him in finding some demons to play poker with.

Buffy knew that he hadn’t come home by the time she had, or at least he hadn’t been in their bed.

“What do you mean, you could ask me the same thing?” she asked.

“You weren’t in bed when I came up here, Buffy, that’s what I mean.”

“I was too, you were just too drunk to notice.”

“Oh?” His eye brows raised. “Maybe it’s the other way around then?”

Buffy rolled her eyes just as a scream came from Dawn’s room. Instantly, Buffy was up, robed and in the teen’s bedroom. The sleepy vampire only milliseconds behind, having managed to find his pants. Looking into Dawn’s room, Buffy noticed nothing amiss at first. There were clothes and papers all over the place, a normal occurrence for Dawn’s bedroom. There were a few broken pieces of furniture too, which weren’t normal for Dawn’s room.

“Buffy!” shouted Dawn, “It’s in the closet. Big furry, with tusks and a bill, there’s a demon in my closet.” Dawn was pressed her back against the far wall of her room, clad in Care bear PJ’s.

“Nibblet, aren’t you a bit old for being scared by monsters in the closet?” asked Spike.

“Not kidding Spike! Buffy, do something!”

Nodding, Buffy turned and went back into her room, grabbing the sword she kept under her bed, and returned to Dawn’s room.

“Spike? Open the closet door,” ordered Buffy, stepping into a defensive posture.

Spike shrugged and did as he was told to.

There was nothing in the closet.

“Dawn...” said Buffy with a hint of disapproval.

“I swear Buffy, it was there, big, furry, tusks and a duck bill. I’m not lying.”

Buffy sighed and laid the sword down, before sitting on Dawn’s bed. Patting the bed spread next to her inviting Dawn to sit with her.

“What were you doing before you saw the demon?” the slayer asked.

“I...I was getting dressed, I went to my closet and opened the door,” explained Dawn.

“The closet door was closed?” clarified Buffy.

Dawn nodded. “Why? What’s important about the door?”

Buffy exhaled forcefully.

“What is it Buffy?” asked Dawn. “You know something!”

Buffy stood up from the bed, and picked her sword. “I do know something Dawn. Get dressed and I’ll tell you about it when you come down stairs for breakfast.”

Dawn nodded again and turned towards her now open closet. “Spike!” she screeched.

“Bloody Hell nibblet you’ve got just as many shoes as the Slayer does!”
__________________________________________
Half an hour later the Summers family and Tara were sitting down at the breakfast table. Willow had failed to come home at all the night before. Tara suspected that she had gone to her parents until her rage quieted down.

“So are you going to tell me?” asked Dawn, pouring herself a bowl of Rice Krispies.

“I am,” said the Slayer gulping down her orange/grapefruit juice. “I think what’s happened is what’s supposed to happen in ten years Dawn. You’ve tapped into your ability to use your key powers.”

“Very cool,” said the teen munching on her cereal.

“Right now it’s unfocused. So every time you open a door, no matter what do you are trying to open, you open a portal to a different dimension. Obviously when you tried to open your closet this morning you opened a demon dimension where big furry things with tusks and duck bills live.”

Dawn nodded, taking in the information.

“When you closed the closet door, you closed the portal. Simple as that.”

“So, every time she opens any door this is going to happen?” asked Tara.

“Until she learns to control it, until she explores her power more. When this happened before, for me anyway you were already a Watcher and had the resources of the Watcher’s Council to help you develop your powers. I don’t know why this has happened now.” Buffy got up from the table clearing away dirty dishes.

“This is so cool, I have key powers,” said Dawn with a huge smile on her face.

“You might not think it’s so bloody cool when you open a door to a dimension with demony creatures in it that come out of that doorway nibblet,” observed Spike.

“I’ll just have to be really careful what doors I open,” said Dawn.

“And makes sure that you don’t go into any of those dimensions, we won’t know where to look for you and you might be stuck there for a very long time,” continued Buffy.

Dawn nodded again. “Right, so I get boys to open doors for me for the rest of my life, I’m good with that. Bring on the return of chivalry.”
__________________________________________
Buffy was vacuuming in the afternoon when Willow arrived home.

Before Buffy could even greet the red headed witch, Tara was at the top of the stairs.

“Where have you been?“ asked Tara loudly, shocking both Willow and Buffy.

“I needed some me time,“ Willow tried to explain. “To cool down. I get what Buffy was saying last night. I need to work on control.“

“You did a spell,“ said Tara her arms crossed. “I can see it in your aura.“

“A little one?“

“Doesn’t look little Willow... What did you do?” asked Tara in a scared voice.

“Just a spell, it’s not a big deal,” said Willow, walking up the stairs trying to get past Tara.

Buffy peered around the corner of the living room and looked at Tara. She wasn’t a happy camper.

“You are doing to many spells Willow!You are using too much magic. What do you want me to do, just, just sit back and keep my mouth shut?” said Tara following up after Willow.

“Well, that'd be a good start.”

“If I didn't love you so damn much I would!”

“I, I'm sorry, okay?”

“It's not that easy.”

“Well, what do you want me to do? Reverse time and take it back?” Willow laughed. “'Cause I could probably...”

The door to the witches’ room closed and Buffy could no longer hear what was going on. As much as she wanted to hear the outcome of this fight, Buffy decided to give the couple some privacy. Buffy had a hunch, that is was Willow who had done a spell on Dawn, though she had no proof. It didn’t do to go about accusing friends of casting spells.

Buffy sincerely hoped that Tara would finally be able to talk some sense into her friend.
__________________________________________
“Crone,” greeted Dawn coming home from school.

“I’m not a crone!” protested Buffy. “How did school go today? Any weirdness?”

“Well duh, there is always weirdness, Janice is experimenting with orange, so not her colour and Martine Savant, a girl in my art class, bumped into Brian Collins, the hottest boy in the school, and spilt red paint all over her new white blouse and all over Brian’s new shoes. They were screaming at each other for like a half an hour before the teacher sent them to get cleaned up.”

“Dawn? The portals?”

“Oh, right, no I had other people open doors for me the entire day, it’s all good, no wacky dimension hoppers.”

Buffy breathed a sigh of relief.

“Oh and, when Andrew makes parole in a couple of months, he wants to know if he can stay here. His parents have been less than supportive of his rehabilitation from criminal master mind,” said Dawn hopefully.

Buffy rolled her eyes. “His parents won’t take him back now that he’s been to jail...”

“Basically,” admitted Dawn.

“I suppose,” said Buffy with a sigh. “It wouldn’t be the same without the guestage.”

“Oooh! Thank you Buffy!” gushed Dawn, enveloping her sister in a hug. “He’ll be good! I promise!”
__________________________________________
tbc...

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