The Protectors
by SinisterChic

Rated – R

Summary- The monks gave Buffy and Spike one night of fake memories. That would have been enough to change their lives. But when you add a glowing key in the form of an unborn baby, well . . . things wouldn’t just change, they would be turned completely upside-down

Disclaimer- Joss Whedon owns Spike’s eyebrow scar, his bleached hair, his crystal blue eyes, his manly arms, his muscular chest, his tight . . . *cough* Too bad isn’t it? But a girl can dream, right?

Spoilers- Starts during Out of My Mind. The entire Season 5, although I changed it tremendously to suit my own purpose

Prologue

Later Buffy would contemplate why she had gone to Spike in the first place. I mean, she had a totally decent boyfriend who could satisfy her needs anytime she wished. But he never had stamina like this. Or filled her this completely. She’d never felt this euphoric before.

Arrrgh. Oh, he could hit her in just the right place. He gave her so much pleasure that it hurt. He was an expert. Why Drusilla would choose Angelus over him was beyond her.

Buffy met his thrusts hungrily. She needed more. She was dying, but oh it was so sweet. Her walls began to quake. Her head fell back as the explosion washed over her. He came right after her.

She fell back against the stone floor, breathing hard. It took awhile for her legs to work. When they did she sprung up in search of her clothes. She dressed, not looking at him. He didn’t speak the entire time. Fully covered, Buffy ran away in shame.

Chapter 1

2 Months Ago

The monks did not take into account that supposedly Buffy hated Spike. All they knew was that the slayer and vampire were strong, and therefore the best candidates to protect. The beast was close and they had very little time. The key had to be saved, no matter what the cost.

Two of these monks raced around the corner of a corridor. They both held religious items, such as books, candles, and incense. The slower one stumbled and fell. Some incense slipped from his clutch. His companion slowed, helping him up. Then they continued their flight down the candlelit Czech monastery.

The men burst through a set of large wooden doors. They turned and quickly slammed them shut, before bolting them by sliding a large beam across.

“It’s coming. It’s going to kill us!” one of the monks shouted in a panic.

“Our lives aren’t important. We have to protect the key,” the second monk reasoned.

This statement seemed to remind the frightened individual why he was there. He nodded.

They rushed to the center of the room. Another man, with authority, joined them. All three knelt on the cold stone floor. A ring of lit candles surrounded the group.

“Help me perform the ritual,” commanded the senior monk.

They extended their arms and began to chant. A crash could be heard over the ancient words. The door jiggled on their hinges. The younger monks glanced back uncertainly.

“Concentrate. Concentrate,” said the elder.

A gust of wind swirled through the chamber as the ritual reached its peak. The crossbeam over the door splintered. A flash of light formed in the circle. It faded just before the door gave away.

Now

The knocking noise grew louder as Buffy walked. She rounded a corner to come face-to-face with Riley. He kept punching the rock wall, oblivious to her presence.

“Riley?”

He looked tired and sweaty. Blood coated his knuckles.

“You know, this doesn’t even hurt,” he remarked.

She gaped. “You’re hand is bleeding.”

“Don’t feel a thing.”

Buffy grabbed his arm to stop him. “This stops now. I’m taking you to that doctor,” she demanded.

“The one from the government, you mean? Like the ones who did this to me in the first place?”

“He’s the only one who understands what’s wrong with you, who can help.”

Riley looked at her with wide eyes. “What’s wrong with me? Buffy, I’ve never felt this powerful. Most people would kill to feel this way.”

“It’s killing you. Your body isn’t built for this kind of strength.”

As the sentence died his legs gave out. She caught him before he fell.
“Riley!”

* * *

“Buffy. I swear I was just thinking of you. I wanted to tell you the great news. My head's all clear now. No more bug-zapper in my noggin,” Spike said with pride.

“That means I get to kill you,” she replied.

He smirked. “That means you get to try.”

The slayer punched Spike in the face. She repeated the action a few more times. He stumbled back into the operating table. He used his vampiric muscles to jump up onto the table. He grinned down at Buffy.

“At long last.”

He leapt down on top of her. He pinned her down and lowered his head to her neck. He shifted, his teeth elongating. Just before they slid into her creamy throat he hollered in pain. Buffy shoved him away. He landed next to the doctor.

The doctor looked terrified. Spike gave him an accused glare.

The vampire got up and checked the container that his chip supposedly had been placed into. He lifted out a coin.

“A penny!?”

“I-I told you I couldn’t do it,” the doctor stammered.

Spike growled.

Buffy crawled over to her unconscious boyfriend. “Doctor, we need you now!”

Spike pulled Harmony away. He grabbed his coat on the way out.

“Hold on, Riley. Please.”
* * *

Buffy stared off into space. The doctor’s words didn’t register.

“I’m sorry. It doesn’t matter how soon you could have brought him in. If he had any chance at all it would have had to be days ago.”

Buffy didn’t want to hear it. So she didn’t.

* * *

In Spike’s dream he relived his night with Buffy. Their coupling had been wild and violent. But it was slow and tender in his mind.

When he went over the edge he cried out. “Buffy, I love you! God, I love you so much!”

Spike awoke with a start. He sat bolt upright. Horror spread across his features.

“No. Please no,” he pleaded.

* * *

Buffy didn’t come out of her room for days. She curled up under the blankets, hardly moving. The people who cared for her were very worried, especially her mother. Joyce carried food up to her, but Buffy took no more than a few bites. She feared that her daughter was wasting away.

Her friends came to see her. Nobody could get her to say a full sentence. She barely looked at them.

Then, on the sixth night something snapped. She dressed and crept down to the front door. She stepped out into the chilly air.

“What are you doing here?” she demanded.

Spike came out of the shadows. He tossed his lit cigarette. It landed at the trunk of the tree that stood by the road.

“Heard what happened to your soldier boy. Condolences.” His voice gave away that he really wasn’t sorry at all.

She stared at him with hard eyes.

“You never answered my question,” she said.

“Oh. Well, your house happens to be between . . . Parts and other parts of this town. I was just passing through.”

“Liar. I’ve felt you for over two hours.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Guess I’m caught.”

“I don’t know what you think you’re doing, but please leave.” She turned away.

A frown marred his face. In all reality he had been gazing up at her window, worried. Rumor had it that she hadn’t shown up for patrol in almost a week.

“Buffy, he was just a boy. Did he mean that much to you?”

She spun back around. Fury flared in her eyes. “How dare you! You know nothing about him!” She punched him in the nose. That wasn’t enough. She kept punching him. She punched him over and over until he was on the ground. Still she kept it up. She mutilated his face, blacking his eye.

Spike felt her pain. He lay immobile below her. Even if the chip had somehow malfunctioned he would have let her take it all out on him. He loved her, damnit. He loved her against his will. He had tried to stop it, but it consumed him.

That’s right, baby. Let it all out.

Finally Buffy collapsed on top of him. She sobbed. His arm uncontrollably wrapped around her.

_________________________________________

Yep, Riley’s dead. Not that I hate him, but he needed to be out of the picture. I don’t think anyone’s that upset.

 

Chapter 2

The vampire tossed Buffy into the ‘Keep Out’ sign. She grunted form the impact. She ducked, avoiding the fist that swung her way. Her foe was huge, resembling a biker, leather and all.

“I’ve always wanted to kill a slayer,” the vampire said.

Buffy guessed that that must not have been long. He couldn’t be older than a couple years turned.

“I’ve always wanted piano lessons. We don’t always get what we want,” Buffy informed. Actually, most of the time, she silently added.

She accompanied her words with a few blows. He retaliated with a large punch that sent her reeling.

“Uh,” she moaned, suddenly feeling sick.

The vampire charged. She knew that she had to keep it together. She whipped out a stake. Before the vamp could react she thrust it into his heart. He burst into a cloud of dust.

Buffy doubled over and clutched her stomach. She tucked her stake away.

“Hey!”

A man emerged. He held a flashlight and wore a night watchman uniform. Buffy turned her head away as his beam shone in her eyes.

“Miss, if you're looking for one of those rave parties, I'm afraid
you're late. Chased a bunch of kids out of here last night,” he told her.

Buffy straightened. “Oh. Right. Darn. My fellow ravers will be so disappointed.”

“If it were my decision I’d let you do whatever you want. It isn’t like anyone is using the place. But they just don’t pay me enough to argue with the boss.”

Buffy held up her hands in surrender. “Already gone.” She turned to leave.

“Oh, hey, hold it miss!”

Buffy spun back around. The man held out a yellow glowing ball.

“Take . . . whatever this is with you.”

Buffy took the orb. She gazed at it, perplexed.

“Glow balls, huh? I don’t get your generation. What is it with that thing?”

She didn’t get a chance to answer. That was when she leaned over and heaved up her dinner onto the grass.

* * *

“I’m worried about you, Buffy,” Joyce said.

Buffy was curled up on the couch. An afghan was wrapped around her, and Buffy clutched it to her chin. She hadn’t gotten sick in a very long time. She didn’t remember it being this unbearable. It felt like she might turn inside out.

“Mom, I just have the flue or something,” Buffy said.

Her mother reached out and felt her forehead. “You aren’t warm.”

“I’ll be fine by tomorrow. My slayer antibodies are kickin in as we speak.”

A sigh escaped Joyce. “I hope so, honey. You were just up and about, and now . . .”

A pang stabbed at Buffy’s chest. Riley’s death still felt raw. There must have been something she could have done. If only she had moved faster.

“I’ll be fine. All I need is some TLC.”

Her mother was a pro at the tender loving care. She fixed the slayer some chicken noodle soup and made her lay down. It actually was nice for a change. It had been a long while since Buffy had fallen into the cared for daughter role.

In the morning Buffy felt better. That was until lunch time. She had barely consumed half her burger when her stomach began to churn. She had to push her plate away and rush upstairs to the bathroom. She lay back down in bed. She tossed and turned, uncomfortable. The glowing ball on her nightstand caught her eye. She sat up.
Could that be the cause of her suffering? Her symptoms had showed up last night around that factory.

Buffy managed to make her way to the Magic Box. She stepped in to be greeted by a very frightening sight. Giles stood there in a very pointy sorcerer hat. She blinked at it. Giles’s smile faded. He quickly shrugged out of the costume, embarrassed.

She glanced around. The store was empty.

“When do you open?”

“Since nine this morning actually.” He glanced at his watch. “Still not to worry. No, I’ve got feelings about this place. Magic’s a small niche market but well, think about it. Sunnydale, monsters, supply and demand. They’ll be lining up around the block in no time.”

Buffy nodded. “Yeah. You’ll be making money hand over fist.” Her words hit her with puzzlement. She held her hand over her fist. “Which I guess is a good thing,”

Her former watcher watched her with concern. “You all right? You seem a little distracted.”

A sigh escaped her. She fell into a chair near the round table, which was located in the center of the shop.

“I’ve been a little sick. I have no idea what the deal is,” she told him.

“How sick? Have you seen a doctor?”

“No. I think it’s just a bug.” She paused. “Well, it might not be. I started feeling bad when I found this glowy ball thing.”

Just then Willow bounded inside. She grinned.

“Giles, where’s your hat and cloak!?” she exclaimed. “Oooo, nute eyes! Wow, Buffy, come look at this stuff!” Willow held up a jar filled with weird slimy things. Buffy looked away, feeling even more nauseous.

“Actually, I have a little Scooby-centric deal to deal with first,” Buffy said. “I found this glowing ball. I left it in my room because it might be dangerous. I’ve been throwing up right after contact with it. I don’t want it to affect any of you.”

Willow came over, interested. Giles furrowed his brow, deep in thought.

“Can you describe it?” Giles pressed.

“Well, it’s . . . shiny?”

He frowned. “Is that all?”

“Pretty much.” She made hand movements to indicate how big it was. “Yay large, kinda textured. I found it near an abandoned factory. I vote that I go back out tonight.”

“Are you sure? If you feel unwell . . .”

“Nah, I can’t just sit at home. If this ball is causing my sickness it must be stopped.”

“Don’t worry, Buffy, we’ll research,” Willow said, reassuringly.

Buffy stood up. “Thanks, Will, I appreciate it. I think I’m going to head back and report to Mom. She wasn’t too thrilled about me venturing out.”

With that Buffy left.

At home, Buffy took a nap. She felt lazy, since she was normally so active during the day. A couple hours later she was awakened by the phone ringing. She groaned and ignored it. There was a knock at her door.

“Buffy, Mr. Giles is on the phone. It sounds important,” her mother said.

Buffy got up to talk.

“Giles, did you find anything?”

“Sorry, not yet. I do have something useful, though. It was Anya who thought of it actually. It is a spell called tirer la couture.”

“Rotate many foodstuffs?” Buffy guessed.

“Pull the curtain back,” he corrected.

Well, she never claimed that language was her specialty.

“It will reveal any magical essences at work. Every spell has a trace signature,” Giles went on.

“Thank you, Giles.”

“I’ll have Willow send it over to you.”

A short while later Willow arrived with the spell book, along with the ingredients needed. Buffy locked her door and set up rather quickly. She lit incense and poured some colored sand around her counterclockwise into a circle. Then she sat cross-legged. She closed her eyes and fell into a trance.

Breathe in, breathe out. In, out. She paid attention to every puff of air. A pull made her open her eyes. The room was grainy and dream-like. She picked herself up and headed out. She slowly descended the stairs.

Joyce glanced up form near the front door. She slipped into her coat.

“Will you be all right if I go out for awhile?”

Dazed, Buffy nodded. She became transfixed by a photo on the wall.

“Are you sure you’re feeling better? You seem a little out of it . . . Buffy?”

Buffy looked over. “I’m fine. You go out. Have a good time.”

“You’re so grown up.” Joyce reached out and touched Buffy’s cheek. She smiled and then exited outside.

Buffy focused back on the family portrait. It kept flickering. One second it would show Joyce and her, another Spike, her, and . . . a baby! Buffy gripped the banister. She gave out and sunk to the step below.

* * *

She didn’t know how long she remained in her stupor. The world was back to normal. She kept checking the picture. It had stopped switching. Still, she couldn’t get over what she had seen. She knew she hadn’t imagined it.

The phone rang. Buffy went to answer it. She was glad that it was Giles. She could hear loud voices over the line.

“Buffy? I’m glad I caught you. I think we might have underestimated what we’re dealing with,” the shop keeper said.

She held the phone tighter. “Go on.”

“The orb is called the Dagon Sphere. Its history goes back centuries.”

“What’s it do?”

“It’s a protective device, made to ward off primordial evil.”

Buffy let out a breath. “So it isn’t making me sick?”

“I would think not. But whatever it is supposedly warding off could be.”

“Any word on what that might be?”

“Unfortunately no. All I could uncover was that it repelled that which cannot be named. Do be careful. Anything that cannot be named is either greatly worshipped or feared- maybe both. Have you completed your trance?”

Buffy took a quick peek at the photo. Her mother and she were displayed in a loving embrace. The Spike and her one, complete with offspring flashed in her mind. They had seemed very happy. How could that be? It was Spike!

“That’s the thing . . .” She hesitated. Could she really tell Giles that she had seen a family photo with ‘Spike’ of all people? Frankly she was ashamed and scared.

“Nothing, it didn’t work,” she quickly said. She smashed the phone back in its cradle.

* * *

The factory wasn’t so abandoned as everyone thought. Buffy was surprised to find one fashionably lacking woman. Well, by the way she was able to throw her into a cement wall she wasn’t any ordinary woman.

Buffy tried to fight back but the bitch grabbed her arms. The permed freak then proceeded to wrench them downward. Buffy let out a cry. She had to do something fast. She slammed back her head.

The woman seemed shocked. “You hit me! What are you, crazy?”

Buffy continued her assault. She hit and kicked in a frenzy.

“You can’t go around hitting and kicking people!”

Buffy ignored her. The woman grabbed hold of her and slammed her into the wall once again.

“I just noticed something,” the woman said. “You have super powers.” She picked Buffy up by the throat. “Can you fly?”

She was flung across the room. Buffy realized two things. One: she had to get out of there. Two: she had to save the really thrashed monk. Buffy’s eyes shifted to the glass window. The woman, or whatever she was, noticed what she was about to do. She was too late.

Buffy dragged the monk along with her. They crashed through the window and tumbled to the ground. She helped the monk up and they ran.

“Please, stop!” the monk pleaded.

“No, we have to keep going,” Buffy reasoned.
The monk’s legs gave out at the fence. He slumped against it.

“My journey is done I think.”

“Don’t get metaphory on me. We’re going.” She reached for him again but he pulled away.

He gazed up at her with large eyes. “You must . . . the key. You must protect the key.”

“Okay, the key. We’ll protect the key. Just far, far away from here.”

“Many will die if you don’t keep it safe.”

That caught her attention. “How? What is it?”

“A portal. It opens the door.”

“The dagon sphere?”

He shook his head. “No. For centuries the abomination found us. We had to hide the key, gave it form, molded it to flesh.” He paused. “And sent it to you.”

Buffy’s eyes widened. Things fell into place. Her hand automatically roamed to her stomach.

“You planted that thing ‘in’ me!”

“We knew the slayer would protect.”

“Whose is it? Is it Riley’s? Or . . . Spike’s?” she demanded.

The man smiled. “The vampire is strong. He will help protect.”

“That’s not an answer.” Her hands formed into fists.

“We built memories. Two warriors were united to form the vessel.”

“Unbuild them! This is my life!” Tears streamed down her face.
The monk fell into a coughing fit. She knew that he would soon fade away.

“It’s not my baby,” she whispered.

“She doesn’t know that,” the monk said.

She? Oh God!

“I didn’t ask for this. I don’t even know . . . what is it . . . she?”

Pleased, the monk said, “Human. Now human. And helpless. Please, she’s an innocent in this. She needs you.”

The monk’s eyes closed. He exhaled his last breath.

Buffy crumpled to the cold ground and sobbed.

Chapter 3

Buffy was pregnant with Spike’s spawn. No, that wasn’t right. She was magically impregnated with a mystical key that hadn’t come into being by a sexual means at all. So, it wasn’t Spike’s kid technically, or hers for that matter. But the monk said it had been transformed into a human. Did that mean that they used Spike and her DNA to create it?

Her mind swam from the confusion. She couldn’t decide if she should hate what was inside her or love it. A baby. If only it were that simple. She had dreamed of being a mother, yet disregarded it after being chosen. A real daughter she could love, but a portal . . . Human now, the monk had said. Was it a baby? Was it hers? Her life was never simple, but this was outrageous.

What would Spike think about all this? She shut her eyes. He was soul-less, a killer only kept in check by a piece of metal. She couldn’t trust him. The baby might not have been created in the natural way but she still felt responsible for it. The monk had been correct, it was an innocent after all. She had been a good choice. She’d protect it. And that meant keeping it away from vampires, even chipped ones.

Shutting the blinds that night and slipping into bed, Buffy made a decision. One thing was for sure; she couldn’t tell anyone that the child might be part ‘Spike’. She knew that she couldn’t keep her pregnancy a secret forever, but she could bend the truth. The baby wouldn’t be Spike’s, it’d be Riley’s.

* * *

It was confirmed the next day at the doctors. Buffy was definitely pregnant. Now the next step was to deal with it. That was the hard part.

Buffy walked down the hospital corridor. She clutched a bottle of prenatal vitamins. Her brain was still having trouble registering that this was all real. She wasn’t paying attention to the world around her. All of a sudden a gurney came out of nowhere. The patient sat up and struggled to escape his restraints. Buffy’s eyes widened. She knew the guy. He was the night watchman she had seen two nights ago.

“I don't belong here. I have important instructions. Fascists!” the night watchman cried.

The nurse fought to keep the man down. Buffy went over to help. She pushed the patient down so that the nurse could tighten the straps.

“You know, not to be rampantly sexist in the workplace, but you’ve got some serious muscles for a girl,” the nurse said.

“I uh . . .”

“Radioactive spider bite?”

Buffy forced a smile. “How’d you guess?”

“I’m Ben, a doctor. . . well, almost.”

She could tell that he was interested in her. Too bad she was knocked up.

“Buffy Summers. Pleased to meet you.” God, she sounded so cheery.

The night watchman seized Buffy’s arm. His eyes were large and full of madness.

“They make no difference!” the man declared.

“I’ve met this guy, he’s not crazy,” Buffy told Ben.

Obviously Ben didn’t believe her. “If you say so.”

“They come at you through your family!” the man ranted on.

“My family? What do you mean?” She couldn’t help but wonder if there was some kind of credence to his ravings.

Ben turned toward an orderly. “Get him to Exam One. Now would be nice.”

The gurney wheeled away and the man let go of Buffy’s arm. The bottle slipped from her fingers. Ben bent down to retrieve it.

“I’m really sorry about that. Here.” He glanced at the label before Buffy could stop him. “Oh, you’re pregnant?”

She snatched the pills away, humiliated.

“I’m sorry if I sound so surprised,” Ben said. “I’m actually pretty embarrassed. I was even going to ask you out for a drink, but seeing as you’re taken. . . “

“I’m not ‘taken’!” Buffy spat.

“I admire you then. It takes courage to raise a baby on your own.”

“Th-Thanks.”

Buffy hurried away.

* * *
Buffy had to make decisions, very important decisions. For starters she made up her mind to move back home. She needed her mother. Joyce wouldn’t be happy about this, but she’d support her anyway. Her friends were nice enough to help transport all of her things from the dorm. They gave her a few looks of worry, but she ignored them. She wasn’t ready to tell them. Not that she would ever truly be ready.

That night she went out on patrol. She knew that she shouldn’t in her condition, but it wasn’t like she could blow it off. There was a new big bad, after all.

She roamed through the graves, gripping her wooden stake. The moon shown in the sky, clear and almost full, illuminating her way. It was pretty slow that night. She allowed herself to get wrapped up in her thoughts, grappling yet again with her situation. She was so lost in them that she didn’t notice the vampire that charged out of the shadows. He knocked into her with great impact. Her weapon went flying and she hit the ground hard.

Buffy struggled against the vamp on top of her. His face was wild, fangs snapping at her. The only thing she could process was that she couldn’t get the thing off her. Oh God, was this it? I failed, she thought. I’m so sorry, baby. I wasn’t a good candidate in the end.

The vampire was suddenly gone. She lay there, gasping for air. She heard kicks and punches nearby. It took a moment for her to gather herself. When she did she saw that it was Spike. He ripped the other vampire’s head off. Dust exploded in the air.

Spike came over to her and offered a hand. Buffy stared up at him blankly. She got up, pushing his hand away. He huffed at that.

“Better be more careful, slayer. That vamp woulda had himself a right good day,” Spike said.

“I don’t need your help!” she exclaimed.

He had saved her. Why? They were supposed to be enemies.

Laughter spilled from Spike. “Oh, right. You sayin you would’ve come out on top in the end?”
Buffy gathered her fallen stake. She didn’t respond.

“You know, you could be a little more grateful.” He pointed at her. “I just saved your ass and you know it!”

She tucked her stake away. “If that’s what your ego wants to think.”

He shook his head. “You are something, you know it? You can find someone else to fight your battles.”

Her eyes sparked with electricity. “I don’t need someone else to fight my battles!”

She’d be fine. All she needed was to keep herself focused. She had been stupid to let herself get distracted. But what about two months from now? Four? She did have a problem. But Spike was not the solution to it.

Buffy turned around to stalk off. She got a few feet before she stumbled. Strong arms caught her before she lost her balance. She didn’t fight them, although she knew she should. They remained in place for who knows how long. She could feel his icy, unnecessary, breath on her neck. He was too close. Why was he breathing so hard?

All of a sudden he went rigid.

“Were you aware, pet, that you got yourself a bun in the oven?”

The slayer pried herself from his grip. She backed away. Instinct had her. She hugged her middle, sheltering it from this monster.

She couldn’t read his features. He wouldn’t look directly at her. “Tin soldier left a souvenir, huh?”

She put even more space between them. “Stay away from me and my daughter, Spike!”

Buffy fled the scene. She never saw Spike’s cold eyes turn dark with heartache.

______________________________________________
You gotta feel sorry for both of them. I know this isn’t playing out to be fluffy Spuffy love, but there are enough happy baby fics out there. Do you really want another one? Besides, if you know me, you know I always get to the lovin in the end.

Chapter 4

I’m pregnant. Two simple words. It should have been easy to spit them out. Instead Buffy was finding it as difficult to do as when she sent Angel through the spinning vortex of Acathla.

All day she trailed behind her mother. Joyce gave her curious looks now and then. Buffy could understand. She hadn’t spent this much time with her mother since . . . Well, a long time. Buffy had hardly come back home to visit. She was always at the dorm, with the gang, or going out to hunt demons. Now that life had turned devastatingly distraught all Buffy wanted to do was climb into Joyce’s lap and regress into a dependant child.

“What’s that?” Buffy questioned, spotting the papers her mother was scanning.

“Honey, are you all right?” Joyce asked.

Buffy took a seat next to her at the dining room table. “Sure, Mom. Why?”

Joyce shook her head. “Oh, I don’t know. It’s just I’ve seen you more today than in the past month.”

“Is there anything wrong with some mother-daughter bonding action?”

Joyce smiled. She patted her daughter’s hand. “No, of course not. Let me look over these papers for the gallery first, okay?”

“Oh. Sure. I’ll just . . . go do something else for a few.”

Buffy stood up.

“I really do want to see you, Buffy. If it wasn’t for this paperwork . . .”

Buffy forced a smile. “I know.”

She hurried upstairs and to her room. She shut the door and then leaned against it for support. She took a few deep breaths. She was glad her mom had sent her away. It would give her time to contemplate how to break the news.

I’m pregnant. Two simple words, but no easy way to say them.

Buffy moved to her bed. She lifted the pastel bedspread and crawled underneath it. The heavy comforter snuggly wrapped around her small frame; she closed her eyes and let herself disappear in it.

***

Someone up there had it in for him. Not that he blamed them. He was William the Bloody after all, scourge of thousands. He deserved this afflicted torture. He knew it, but he still wished there was some way to make the pain go away.

Spike downed the last of his Jack Daniels. Bugger, there was not enough to put him in a stupor. His mind was too active. He stared into the clear, empty bottle.

He remembered how smooth her skin had felt. Sweat covered her, and his fingers traveled over the slick surface, taking in its heat. She burned. Her heart had beat loud and fierce. It pounded in his ears, mingling with her heavy breath. Her eyes lost focus as her head fell back. She cried out and her muscles quivered around him. All for him, because of him. The thought of her with another . . . doing ‘those’ things with another. . . And a baby. Fuck. She’d never be his. Captain Cardboard was a part of her now, always would be, no way around it.

Spike tightened his grip on the bottle. It shattered from the pressure. The glass flew. Blood slid down his palm. He snickered humorlessly.

He wished there was some way to make the pain go away. To do away with his love, to do away with ‘her’.

* * *
Buffy stalked though the cemetery. She wanted to get this over with as soon as possible. She still hadn’t told her mother the unexpected news. She couldn’t find the opportune moment for it. She fought to stay focused, reminding herself about what happened last time she had patrolled.

She moved through the graves, hugging herself. She opened up her senses for demon activity. It wasn’t long before she felt something nearby. She prepared herself for the attack.

The vampire emerged. He looked like a Kiss reject, makeup and all.

“Are you trying to cover up something? Major acne?”

She offered a few kicks.

“You know, they have cream for that. Or, does that not work on dead things?”

The vampire snarled in displeasure. He punched her in the face. She dodged out of his way when he went for another one. She wasn’t fast enough to avoid the foot that plunged into her abdomen, though. Her eyes went wide as she staggered backwards. Oh God!

The vamp chuckled. “I’ve heard much about you, little sister. All lies. You’re not that tough.”

Buffy’s features hardened. She battled with the nausea building in her stomach. She whipped out her stake. Now was the time. She thrust the wood into his heart before he could react.

“Think again,” she commented as he disintegrated in the air.

She let out a breath. She dropped the stake to clutch her middle. It hurt. Tears built up in her eyes. What if . . . ? She had to get help. The hospital wasn’t far away. She could make it.

* * *

The doctor didn’t seem worried. Why wasn’t he worried? This was her baby at risk.

“Calm down, Buffy,” Dr. Grant soothed.

“But he kicked me! He came out of nowhere. He wanted . . . uh . . . to rob me, yeah!”

“I’m sure your baby is fine, Ms. Summers. I’ve examined you fully and the injury seems superficial. But if you are worried I could do a sonogram.”

Buffy rested her head back on the examining table. “Is that where there are pictures on the TV?”

The doctor smiled. “Yes. It is a simple procedure. Sound waves are used in order to capture an image of the womb. It would be a sure way of making sure everything is ship shape.”

Buffy nodded. “Please do it.”

“All right, Buffy. Now just relax.” He set up a few things. “Prepare yourself, this might be cold.”

Exposing her belly, the doctor squirted a small amount of gel. He spread it around. Buffy watched the screen expectantly. A picture was formed. She squinted, trying to make something out. She became disappointed when she couldn’t form anything coherent in what she saw.

The doctor must have seen her difficulty. “Do you want me to point out your baby?” he asked.

“Please.”

He pointed to a tiny dot on the screen. “That’s it.”

“There?” she questioned with skepticism.

“Yes,” the doctor replied and laughed. “Don’t feel bad. It takes a professional in order to point it out. It is very small at this stage.”

Buffy hardly heard. She had become transfixed right after he pointed out her baby. A small smile formed on her lips. There really was a baby in her. The reality of it all hadn’t really hit her until now. She was going to be a mother. It didn’t matter if it hadn’t been created naturally. The baby was hers now. The monk was right. They had given her a beautiful gift. And she loved it. She loved the tiny creature within her. She knew she had from the very start, but hadn’t let herself realize it until now.

“Everything is fine. The heartbeat is strong. I have no reason to believe there will be any abnormalities,” Dr. Grant stated.

Buffy blinked away accumulated wetness. “Thank you.”

* * *

Buffy left the doctor with a new perspective. She was no longer ashamed with her pregnancy. She kept glancing down at the blurry pictures that had been printed out for her. Her thumb slid across its surface. She felt lightheaded with wonder. She would do everything in her power to keep her baby safe. Everything. Even if that meant collaborating forces with an evil bleached blond fiend. She wasn’t strong enough to beat this new big bad. Her condition was only going to degrade with time. If she couldn’t prevent a mere vampire from kicking her in the stomach there was no way she could pound . . . whatever that permed freak bitch was.

She reached Spike’s crypt without a further confrontation. She was thankful for that. She entered civically, without crashing her way in. The place was dark except for the flickering glow of the television. Spike whipped his head around.

“Oi, you,” he said in indifference.

“Yeah, me. Can, uh, you shut that off? I want to speak with you,” she said, gesturing to the program. It was some black and white detective movie.

Spike rose. The movement was so fluid. She couldn’t help but compare him to a feline. His physic was so strong, sleek, and lean. A flash of herself pressed against such physic came to mind. She blinked, realizing he had muted the television and was now glaring at her.

“What do you want?” he demanded.

She spotted his left hand. It was marred with dried blood. She opened her mouth to ask what happened but then thought better of it. She shifted her gaze to his face.

She sighed. “I need your help.”

Spike took out a cigarette. He quickly lit it and blew smoke at her. “So ‘now’ you need my help? Thought you were good enough on your own.”

Buffy coughed and pushed the smoke away with her hands. She grabbed the stick out of his hand and smashed it under her shoe. “No smoking!”

He shook his head. “Oh, right. Your condition.”

She fiddled with her hands. “Look, this isn’t easy for me.” She paused. “I’ve always been strong enough on my own. I’m the slayer, ya know? But I can’t do this alone. Please, help me. Go with me on patrol until after she’s born.”

His jaw twitched.

“I’ll pay you!” she added. She searched his eyes pleadingly.

He laughed. She just stared.

“Get out,” he said.

She gaped. “What?”

He pointed toward the door. “Leave before I toss you out.”

“Spike . . .? “ Her eyes began to sting. Oh, geez, she had been crying a lot lately. Hormones?

“Oh balls, woman. Turn off the waterworks. Look, you’ve got enough help without bringing me into the mix. I’ve seen the whelp and Red out. They’ve done just fine.”

“Not against this. There is something new in town. Something powerful. I went up against her and almost didn’t get away.”

He shut his eyes. “Call up the poof. I’m sure he’d be here in a heartbeat.”

“Who?”

“Angel.”

There was a moment of silence.

“I don’t want to bring him into this.” She couldn’t deal with her ex right now. What would he think? It would be too humiliating to be pregnant with another man’s child while around him. No, she couldn’t bear it.

“You’ll figure something out,” Spike said coldly. “Best of luck.”

Lies. He didn’t care at all.

“Just for your information, I’m not at your bloody beck and call. I’ve got my own place now, don’t need to be mixed up with your lot. Got things to do. Evil, vampiric things.”

She nodded. “I understand.”

Without another words buffy turned and left.

***

God Damn It! Spike swore. He was at the end of his bloody rope. This was too much. He couldn’t stand to be around her. It tore him up inside. He could feel it in her. Just as he could sense death, he could sense life. Not only that, the fluttering beat of the added tiny heart closed in around him.

Something had to be done. He had to get rid of this pain. There had to be a way. There was no way that he could go seven months with this.

He could leave town. He’d pack his bags and storm out of this fucking town. He’d find Dru again. She could cure him of this disease. Together they’d find a way to turn him back into a real vampire again.

Wait. He shouldn’t have to leave. He could stay here if he wanted. He wasn’t going to let a little girl lead his unlife.

Spike stormed over to a metal trunk. He searched through its contents. His hand brought up his prize, a double barreled shotgun. He smirked after loading with two rounds.

Two hours of brain blasts and then the pain would be over. He’d make it all go away.

* * *

“Mom, can we talk?”

They had just finished dinner. Empty plates sat in front of them, the red hint of lasagna lingering.

Joyce smiled. “Sure. Do you want dessert? I made brownies.”

Buffy reached over to halt her mother from rising. “Mom, we really should talk.”

Joyce relaxed. Her complete concentration went to her daughter. She frowned. “Drugs?”

“What!? No!”

Joyce put a hand to her chest. “Thank god. Is Angelus back?”

“No. Mom, relax.”

“Okay, I think I better stop guessing. Just tell me.”

This was it.

“Mom, I’m pregnant.”

It took a moment for Joyce to grasp the sentence. Buffy waited for the explosion. Instead Joyce replied in a calm manner.

“Whose is it?”

Buffy’s green eyes widened. “How can you ask that?”

The bomb hit. “Well, I don’t know, Buffy. Everytime I think I know what is going on with you I get struck. First it was Angel and then the slayer thing. And now you’re pregnant!”

Buffy looked down at her hands. “I’m not a whore.”

“I didn’t . . .” Joyce sighed. “So it’s Riley’s?”

Buffy swallowed. “Yeah.”

Joyce nodded sadly. “Didn’t you use protection?”

“We got caught up in the moment once.” She met her mom’s eyes. “Once.”

It was a lie. Buffy had always been firm about protection. Riley had no problem with it. They got in the habit of always having some on hand.

“I can’t believe you would be so irresponsible,” Joyce snapped.

Buffy gripped the edge of the table. “I’m sorry.”

“Well the damage is done. So, what are you going to do about it?”

“I’m not getting rid of it!”

“I didn’t mean that. I meant . . . Are you planning on getting a job? Are you staying in college?”

“I . . . I haven’t thought that far ahead.”

“Well you better start! How far along are you?” Joyce asked.

“A little over two months,” Buffy said.

“Seven months may seem like a long time but it’s not. It will come sooner than you think.”

“I know!”

Joyce stared at her with disappointment. She stood up.

“Excuse me, I’m going to bed.”

Buffy sat there numbly. Well, it was over. She had known it would be bad. Somehow it felt worse then she anticipated. Mommy, I’m sorry.

* * *

Spike stalked purposely toward the Summers residence. He stepped through the shadows and into the light from the back porch. She sat hunched on the bottom step. He aimed the gun at her head. His finger hovered over the trigger.

You can do it, mate. One quick motion and it’ll be done. He cocked the gun.

Buffy raised her head. She looked at him through blurry vision.

“What do you want now?” she asked.

His finger trembled. He took in her devastated face. She was a mess of tears. His rage vanished at the sight of her suffering. He lowered the gun to his side.

He tilted his head to take her in. “What’s wrong?”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” she said.

“Is there something I can do?”

She simply stared up at him in confusion. He settled next to her on the step. She let him. He hesitantly reached out and awkwardly patted her on the back.

He was a fool to think he could be anything but love’s bitch. There was something in him that just broke over the opposite sex. There was no fighting it. The pain was there and there was doing away with it. He’d stick by her side. He’d protect her with his unlife. He loved her with all he had. And against his choice he seemed to love the bit as well. It was a part of her after all.

He retracted his hand. They both stared out into the night in silence.

_____________________________________________________

Long part for you, guys. And I’m pretty proud of how it turned out. : )

Chapter 5


Willow plopped down on Buffy’s bed. She had on a goofy grin.

“This is just like old times. I was thinking we could stay up late and watch tear-jerker movies. I brought that Carey Grant one with the Empire State Building. And don’t you have Sleepless in Seattle?”

“Will-“ Buffy interjected.

“Or Moulin Rouge. But can we skip the end? I don’t know if I can take it. I packed some snacks too. Do you like Cheetos? Wait, you love cheese.”

“Willow!”

“Huh, what!?” Willow’s lips zipped closed.

The slayer took in a breath. “Wasn’t sure if I’d be able to get a word in there. Excited much?”

Sheepishly, Willow said, “Sorry. It’s just, ya know, me and you with the slumber party. It seems like we haven’t had any one-on-one in a long time. I miss you.”

Buffy smiled. “Miss you too, Wills.”

She hated to crumble Willow’s glee over the girlie movie veg-out. It sounded fun. Although at the rate she’d been crying as of late, she would probably end up flooding the house. But best friend bonding time wasn’t why she had asked Willow over.

Willow is a very understanding individual, she reminded herself. This should be a piece of cake. It’s Xander and Giles I should be concerned about. Oh, and I was so okay with the gay thing. She kind of has the obligation to accept this.

“Your mother seemed a little on edge. Is she all right?” Willow commented.

Buffy moved to sit next to her friend. She grabbed Mr. Gordo the pig and clutched him to her chest. She took a deep breath and faced Willow.

“Uh, Willow . . . I actually brought you over here to talk.”

“Oh.” The red-head straightened, looking attentive. “Go ahead, my ears are ready.”

Buffy caught her gaze wandering. She forced them back on target. Willow waited expectantly.

“A lot of things sure have changed since high school, huh?” Buffy blurted. She could have slapped herself. Where had that come from?

Nodding, Willow agreed. “Way. Hello, gay here. And Xander with Anya.” She rolled her eyes. “Giles actually owns his own store. And you . . .”

Buffy shifted. “Yeah, about me . . . I’m pregnant.”

“Huh?” Willow blinked.

“You know. With child. Expecting.”

Willow put a hand over her mouth. “Oh God. That’s awful.”

Awful? Buffy fingered Mr. Gordo’s ear. She didn’t know how to respond.

“Buffy? I didn’t mean it the way it came out. Babies aren’t awful. They’re cute and cuddly. I only said it was awful because of Riley being gone. Poor baby won’t have a daddy. That’s just sad.”

Buffy shut her eyes. She wished things were different. She wished the father really was Riley and he was alive. She felt like she let her child down somehow by being a single parent.

You wouldn’t have to be. Where did that thought come from? It was totally irrational. She couldn’t let Spike know the truth. He was good enough as a back-up fighter but she could never trust him further.

“You’re not mad?” Buffy questioned.

“No, why would I be?”

“I don’t know. I won’t be able to up and leave for the Bronze anymore.”

“Oh, that’s all right. I get loads of benefits to make up for it. I’ll be Aunt Willow and get baby hugs and kisses. And the spoiling, that’s always fun.” Willow’s eyes twinkled. She reached out a hand. “Can I feel?”

Buffy snorted. “There’s nothing to feel yet.”

“Humor me.”

Buffy lifted her pajama top. Willow’s warm palm sprayed across her flat stomach. The witch shut her eyes in concentration. A few minutes later she opened them again and beamed.

“I can feel her. She may be small but she has a powerful aura. Bright and green. Shiney.”
“Wow,” Buffy whispered. She touched the spot Willow had vacated.

“Tara taught me how to read people. You can learn a lot from it. Green means peace.”

Maybe Buffy was crazy but she could just about see what Willow described.

“You’re going to be a great mom,” Willow said.

“Really?”

Willow took her hand. “Yep. And I’m here for you, to babysit or whatever.”

“Thanks, Wills.” She squeezed her hand back. “What do ya say about getting on those movies?”

Willow hopped up. “I’ll grab the snacks. You collect the videos.”

* * *

Next on the list . . . Giles or Xander? Neither sounded appealing. She supposed she should go for Xander. Giles would be scary. He had that fatherly authority figure going on. Frankly she wasn’t sure how Xander would react. He’d probably be all fish-mouthed over it. Yeah, she’d try Xander. Or should she get the worst over with first? She’d just go to the Magic Box and see who was around. Whoever she ran into first would be the lucky guy.

When she stepped inside she had the immediate urge to backtrack. She regretted her decision. Xander ‘and’ Giles were there. The whole gang was actually. Willow and Tara sat at the table, only a stack of books dividing them. Xander straddled a chair and tapped his fingers on the table top. Giles scanned his book collection. Anya stood near the register, writing something down on a piece of paper.

Willow smiled warmly in greeting. “Hey, Buffy.”

Tara glanced at her girlfriend and then smiled as well.

The watcher glared over at Xander. “Would you please stop that infuriating tapping?”

Xander halted his hand. “Sorry. Can’t help it. I’m bored.”

Giles tossed a heavy volume into Xander’s lap. Dust went flying. “Make yourself useful.”

Buffy slumped in the chair between Xander and Willow. “What are we researching?”

“The beastie,” Xander said. “We’ve been going around in dizzy circles here for hours.”

Glancing shyly up, Tara said, “Maybe she isn’t in the books.”

“What do you mean?” Willow asked.

“I mean, what if she's not a demon or sorceress or spirit or whatever these books cover? What if she's something else altogether?”

Giles stepped over with interest. “Something new you mean?”

“She was like nothing I’ve ever come across before, that’s for sure,” Buffy said. She smiled over at Giles. “Can I name her? You know, like if you find a comet or bug in the jungle?”

Tara shook her head. “No, I mean something old. Something so old that it pre-dates the written word.”

“The Dagon Sphere!” Willow declared excitedly. Buffy could practically detect the light bulb over her head. “You said it repelled . . .”

“That which cannot be named,” Giles muttered. He removed his glasses.

A perplexed expression formed on Xander’s face. He glanced over at Buffy. She shrugged. Why was he looking at her? She was never brainy-girl.

He slammed his book shut and pushed it toward the center of the table. “Well, if it means I don’t have to read anymore . . . then whoo with a big hoo.”

Buffy smiled. She was surprised that she could be so cheery under circumstances. She got to her feet. Might as well get this over with before she lost her nerve. She realized that there were people all over the store.

“Can we go in the back?”

“Yes, yes of course,” Giles replied.

Everyone stood up, curious. Willow met Buffy’s gaze. She saw support and understanding in her friend’s eyes.

They assembled near the pommel horse. Buffy’s heart thundered in her chest. How could she say this? Maybe if she said it in a certain way it wouldn’t be so bad. She could give a long introduction about how things happened against people’s control. Or . . .

“Buffy? Buffy?” Giles touched her shoulder. She jumped, coming out of her reverie. “You wanted to speak with us about something?”

“Yeah, I . . .” She could feel herself begin to shake. She clung to the exercise equipment in front of her. She couldn’t do this. She couldn’t handle Giles’s disapproval along with her mother’s.

Willow came over to Buffy’s side. “Guys, I know what Buffy has to say. What she is going to tell you is hard and so you should try to be understanding.”

Good ol’ Will. She could always rely on her.

“Dear lord,” Giles murmured. “Do get out with it then. This prologue is perturbing instead of preparing me.”

Without looking at them, Buffy said, “I’m pregnant.” Her eyes slid upward to gage their reactions.

Tara, of course, seemed sympathetic. Xander’s complexion had gone white. Giles . . . She should be referring to him as Ripper. She had never seen his features so hard and cold.

Xander laughed. The sound echoed through the room. “Giles, you really need to get a couch back here. Times like these, you have to have a place to sit down.”

“Wow, Buffy,” Tara said. “This must be difficult for you. Is it R-Riley’s?”

The slayer nodded. “Yeah.”

Silence suffocated Buffy. Say something, she silently begged Giles. Please.

“Giles?”

His eyes had darkened. They stared holes into her. “How could you be so irresponsible? At a time like this!”

She crossed her arms. “You think this was my choice!? That I planned this!?”

“You are the slayer,” he growled. “You have responsibilities. This thing not only affects you but the whole world. Countless people may die because of your rashness. This is why past slayers didn’t have mates. There was a slayer in the seventies who had a child. She let the duty for her son outweigh her duty as the slayer. It killed her.”

“Well, maybe I was irresponsible. But that doesn’t change the fact that it happened. You don’t have to be happy about it, but I need you to accept it. I can’t do this on my own. Please.”

Just then Anya stormed in. She waved a piece of paper in her hand. “Hey!”

“Ahn, could you come back in a few? We’re kind of dealing with something,” Xander told his girlfriend.

“Giles, you sold someone a Khul’s amulet and Sobekian bloodstone. Are you stupid or something? Everybody knows you don’t put a Khul’s amulet and Sobekian bloodstone together. Bad news.”
“Oh no,” Willow said. “Sobekites were an ancient Egyptian cult, heavy into dark magic.”

“And the Khul's amulet, wasn't that a transmogrification conduit?” Tara questioned.

“Their leader Khul had great mystic power. He forged an amulet with transmogrifying crystal,” Anya said.

“Transmogrifying is changing a living thing into a different thing,” Willow informed.

“It was her,” Buffy said. “How could you not know?”

“She came in like an ordinary customer. . . She’s creating a monster,” Giles whispered.

“What for? What does it do?” Buffy asked.

“Research?” Willow suggested.

“You guys work on it, I’ll go kill it.” Buffy went over and snatched a large knife off the wall.

“Buffy?” Giles protested. “What do you think you are doing!?”

Willow’s eyes went wide. “You can’t!

“She creamed you last time,” Xander agreed.

“I can’t just sit here. I have to do something,” Buffy said. She addressed Giles. “And to answer your question; I’m going to do my duty. Isn’t that what you want?”

Buffy stomped off.


Chapter 6

Sunlight beamed down, bathing Buffy in its warmth. She cursed it. If it were night she could have gone and fetched Spike to accompany her. She was forced to do this alone. The story of her life, a slayer’s life.

Her hand hovered over her abdomen. She slowed her pace. Giles had hit her hard with his words about the previous slayer. The woman had died because she had put her focus on her child above all else. Despite that, Buffy knew she might do the same. And it scared her. What if she left her daughter to become an orphan? Who would take care of her?

Mom, Buffy thought. She might be mad at me now, but she’d certainly raise her grandchild.

No time to wallow in what might be, she told herself. She had a job to do.

“Buffy! Wait up!”
The slayer spun around. “Xander?”

Xander ran to her side. He gasped for air. “Gosh-you-move-fast.”

Buffy furrowed her brow. “Why did you come after me?”

He held up a finger in request for a minute to catch his breath. When he did, he said, “I couldn’t let you rush off to face this thing alone. I might not be the best backup but some is better than none, right?”

Xander waved a sword in the air. Buffy jumped back before it could slash her arm.

“Oh, sorry,” he apologized sheepishly.

Buffy shook her head. “All right, all right. But uh, be careful with that weapon.”

“Will do, sergeant Buffy, sir.”

They began to walk together down the sidewalk. Buffy had to admit she was glad he was with her. She was uncertain about facing this adversary again. They didn’t know anything about the woman except that she was uber-strong. Xander might not be superior in battle but he was right, any help was better than none at all.

“Anya told me that most of these Sobekites were reptile worshippers right before I left. I’m thinking zoo. What about you?”

“Good bet,” Buffy replied.

They were silent for a moment.

“Xander-“

“Buffy-“

They both smiled.

“You go first,” Xander said.
She nodded. “Look, Xander. . . How do you feel about. . . my news?”

“You want the truth? Frankly I don’t know. It’s quite a shocker, you know. I mean, I don’t know about you but I don’t feel all that grown up. Parenthood? That’s like not even on my list of goals yet.”

“It wasn’t on mine either,” she said.

“I might not be able to fully comprehend the situation, but I love you, Buffy. I’ll be there for you no matter what. And hey, another little you could only add to the good of this world.”

A relieved smile spread across her face. She crushed into him, her arms hugging him tight. He held her back. When she pulled away she felt wetness trickle down her cheeks. She brushed them aside.

“Sorry, I’ve been kinda emotional lately,” Buffy apologized.

“Understandable. With the hormones and all.”

She playfully nudged him in the side.

The zoo entrance came into view. A metal gate closed it off, locked with a chain.

“Damnit, how are we going to get in?” Xander questioned.

Buffy reached out. She effortlessly took hold of the chain and broke it loose. She grinned over at him.

“Oh-right.”

“Ye of little faith,” she teased.

Her spirits had lifted. Xander didn’t hate her. Now if only she could get Giles and her mother to understand. They’d come around eventually, but until then it was tearing her up inside.

They walked for awhile. All of a sudden Xander took a jump back.

“What is it?” she asked in confusion. There was nothing evil in sight.

He pointed. “Hyena territory.”

Buffy chuckled. She pulled him along.

“Do you remember where the reptiles were located?” Buffy inquired.

“Oh, hey, a map!” Xander exclaimed.

It was easy to locate their destination by the map. All the animals were organized by habitats.

Voices echoed throughout the building. The two friends crept inside quietly. They peeked around the corner. The blond woman was dressed in a red designer dress and high heels to match. She clutched a cobra and brought it up to give it a kiss.

“That’s her?” Xander whispered in shock.

Buffy shot him a glare to not talk.

“Chill, worm, I’m going to make you a star!” The woman lowered the snake into a large clay pot.

Buffy spotted a deformed creature nearby. His skin appeared to be rotting off. And was he wearing a burlap bag? Ick!

“Oh great Glorificous, you are the star,” the leprosy demon cooed.

Glorificous? Buffy mouthed the name.

“Uh huh, I’m great. Now let’s get on with this. Chant,” Glory commanded.

“The form is vessel, rendered new. The base is stone, bathed in blood. The gem is fire and elements rarified...” the demon chanted.

“Sobek, grant the power-”

Buffy stormed in. She slammed into Glory and knocked her into the wall. Glory straightened, pulling her short dress down.

“Oh, you again? No fair attacking me when I wasn’t looking!” Glory complained.

Buffy punched her in the face. Then she raised her knife.

“Ooo, a knife!? What ya going to do with that, precious? Gonna cut me?” With lightening speed, she knocked the blade aside. “I don’t think so.”

Glory grabbed hold of Buffy’s arm. She tugged it behind her back. She flung her aside.

“Dreg, I’m not hearing chanting!”

“Yes, Glory.”

Xander came in. He rammed at Glory with his sword. He didn’t even have a chance. The next thing he knew he was on the floor, his weapon feet away. He moaned from the pain shooting up his back.

Buffy picked herself up. She entered the fray again. Glory snatched her up by the throat.

“Didn’t your mother teach you not to interrupt!?” Glory reprimanded.

With great impact, Buffy smashed into the glass of the snake case. She hissed.

“Arise!” Glory shouted into the air. She raised her arms above her head.

Buffy rushed over to her fallen friend. She tugged him up.

“Come on, Xander!” she cried.

She limped slightly, trying to get away as fast as possible.

They didn’t stop until they had reached a block away from the zoo. Buffy crumpled to the ground. She sobbed into her hands. Xander knelt down beside her. He gathered her up.

“I should have stayed,” Buffy choked.

“What?” Xander whispered.

“I could have done something to stop her. But I . . . All I could think about was that I might lose my baby in the process.” She sobbed louder. “How can I be a slayer and a mother?”

* * *

Buffy and Xander entered The Magic Box. Giles instantly stood to meet them.

“You both all right?” Giles asked.

Buffy shook her head. “No, I’m really not. I couldn’t stop her. I couldn’t even slow her down.”

The watcher pulled out a chair. “Sit down.”

She made no move to accept the offer. “The creature is loose. It’s a big snake. Not Mayor huge, but pretty lethal looking.”

“Do you know why she raised it?”

“I don’t know yet.”

“We’ll gather weapons.”

Xander started to walk toward the back. “I’ll get some.”

Just then the window crashed. The snake slithered in and reared up. Its golden eyes locked on Buffy. She backed away, her hands shielding her middle. Oh God, it’s after the baby!

The snake turned and left. Buffy stared for a moment before bolting after it.
“Buffy!” Giles called after her.

* * *

Buffy ran. Her muscles burned but she willed them on. Sweat accumulated on her brow. She streaked into the darkened park. She heard a hiss and rushed toward it. She stopped at what she saw.

There was a fallen nearby sign that read ‘Bike Path Closed After Dark’. Spike hopped onto the creature’s back. He wrapped a piece of chain, that she assumed came from the fence that blocked entrance to the path, around the snake’s throat. The snake thrashed in protest. He tightened the metal until the thing went limp. He got off and discarded the chain.

Buffy came forward. She crouched before the body and steadily punched it. She hit it over and over again, grunting with anger. After a few moments, strong arms drew her away. At first she fought them but then slumped in defeat.

“It’s dead, luv. It’s dead.” His rich, British voice washed over her with warmth.

She reluctantly pulled away from his chest. She glanced over at the fallen snake. Its filmy eyes gazed back at her. She shivered.

“Thanks for killing it,” she whispered.

“So Spike finally gets something right, huh?”

“Don’t go all ego-y over it.” She tucked a lose strand behind her ear. She must be a mess. “Were you just taking a stroll and came across it.”

“Not exactly.” His eyes pierced into her. It may have been night but she could still make out how blue they were. “Something . . . I felt the need to come here.” He sighed. “I felt like something was telling me that you needed me.”

Wow. Buffy wrapped her arms around herself. Wow.

Chapter 7

Sometimes Buffy worried about herself. She enjoyed the fight way too much. She remembered Faith and her downfall. And all she had to do was look to her left and see the twinkle in Spike’s eyes. ‘Dancing’ he called it. But her? She couldn’t help but want to be above them.

Buffy grinned as she circled the slimy thing in front of her. He had long teeth that resembled a walrus, slobber trickling from them. The tusks were blackened and cracked.

“Ewww, they don’t have dental for demons, do they?” Buffy commented.

“Actually they do,” Spike said. He dodged a blow from his own foe. “But most don’t take advantage of it.”

“So I’ve noticed.”

The demon opened his mouth. He made an elephant-like sound. She got a glimpse of his spotted tongue. Gross.

She raised her sword. In one clean motion she cut off the demon’s head. Green ooze splattered. A little got on her red leather pants.

“That better not stain. I just bought these,” Buffy said. She bent to wipe off the blade in the grass. She scrunched up her nose as a sour stench hit the air. She turned her head away. She hoped she’d be able to keep her dinner down tonight. She faced Spike. Apparently he had defeated his opponent.

“Your others a little snug?” Spike asked with a leer.

She sent him a glare.

“Actually you can notice,” he added.

“What are you talking about?”

The vampire gestured to her stomach. “Showing a bit.”

Buffy’s eyes widened. She folded her hands over her middle. “You so can not tell!”

He laughed. “Can too. Face it, slayer, soon you’ll be shopping in the frilly maternity section.”

Buffy began to walk off. “Let’s go find something else to dice and slice.”

He followed behind. “Don’t you think we should call it a night? We’ve been out here for hours. Isn’t the bit a tad knackered?”

“I’m not the least bit tired!” she snapped.

“Ooo, hormones a raging I see,” he taunted.

She definitely needed something to kill.

They found three more demons. After the last one Buffy’s adrenaline rush dissipated and she felt fatigued. Her body begged for her to fall immediately. Spike realized her condition when she leaned heavily against him. He held her up.

“You all right, slayer?”

She didn’t answer. Her eyes fluttered.

“Overdid it, huh? Told you so. You can’t stay out as long as you used to,” he told her. “Why don’t you come back with me? I may live in a crypt but I’ve got a cozy bed waiting.”

The thought should have repelled her. She was so tired, though, so she let him lead her through Restfield Cemetery. Somehow she made it to his home and to the lower level.

He pulled back the covers and helped her under them. He snugly tucked them around her. She closed her eyes and smiled. This felt nice. Black satin sheets, huh? Figured.

“You’ll be good?” Buffy murmured.

“Course,” he said.

She drifted off.

* * *


The torture his promise had created. She was in his bed! He hovered over her, breathing in her scent. She was intoxicating. He wanted her. Not like before. No, that had been entirely physical. Now he wanted to smother her with his love. He was such a poofter.

The small pounding thumped in his ears, mixing with a louder and slower one. Funny, really. At first the sound had angered him, but now all it did was fill him with comfort.

She was deep in sleep now. He could tell by her breathing. He itched to touch her. Just one touch.

He reached out and ran his fingers over her hair. It was so silky, like strands of spun gold.

Curious, he lifted the covers and pushed them aside. Yes, his dreams hadn’t been wrong. She was as beautiful as he imagined. ‘More’ so. He sucked in deeply. His eyes fell onto her belly. He smirked. You ‘could’ tell if you searched hard enough. Somehow the expansion of her stomach only added to the glorification of her.

He glanced at her face. She made no hint of awakening. He slid his hand under her shirt. Oh God! The bump was larger than he had anticipated. The shirt wasn’t baggy exactly, but it hid the significance of the curve. Wow. There was a living creature in there. Being dead for so many years he had forgotten the splendor of life. His mother had been pregnant once more after him. He remembered laying his head down on her rounded belly, closing his eyes, and murmuring to his sister. He hoped she had heard him. She died because of complications at birth.

Things are different now, he assured himself. Doctors are more advanced than in the nineteenth century. Buffy’s baby would be fine.

He could imagine it as a girl. She’d have light blond hair and green eyes, the spitting image of her mum. He clenched his jaw. She’d look nothing like captain cardboard.

Something jabbed his palm. He jerked his hand away. What the . . .? He cautiously put his hand back. It happened again, but this time he kept it there.

“Bloody hell,” he said in awe.

All of a sudden Buffy’s eyes flew open. She pulled away.

“What were you doing?” she demanded. She tugged her top down.

“I wasn’t copping a feel,” he defended. “Just feeling the bit is all.”

“There’s nothing to feel.”

He furrowed his brow. He gestured toward her. “Was kickin for me just a minute ago.”

“Give me your hand,” she requested.

His eyes widened in surprise. He slowly offered his hand. She put it on her warm stomach.

“Do you feel it now?” she asked.

Spike shook his head. She let out a sigh.

“Wait! That’s it, right there!” he exclaimed as he sensed a ripple.

“That’s it? Are you sure?”

“What else would it be?”

Buffy giggled. Spike had never seen her giggle before. She beamed.

“I thought it was gas,” she confessed.

Spike joined in her laughter.

* * *

The lights were on when Buffy came home. She quietly let herself in.

“Buffy?”

Buffy went into the living room. Her mother sat on the sofa. Piles of photo albums littered the cushion next to her. Joyce gathered them up and placed them onto the coffee table instead. She patted beside her in invitation. Buffy accepted.

“It’s kind of late,” Joyce said.

“I was patrolling,” Buffy replied.

“Patrolling? Isn’t that dangerous?”
“It’s always dangerous. But I don’t go out alone anymore. Spike tags along.”

“Oh,” Joyce said. “Tell him to come by sometime and we can chat over hot chocolate.”

Buffy stared in shock. Her mother wanted to hang with Spike? Major wiggy.

“Do-Do you do that often?” Buffy questioned.

Joyce smiled. She patted Buffy’s hand. “No. Oh, honey, I’m careful. I have a bottle of holy water stashed away just in case. But I don’t think I’ll ever have to use it. Spike’s a nice boy.”

“Boy? Mom, he isn’t a boy? He isn’t even a man. He’s a vile, brutal killer. If it wasn’t for the chip. . .”

“I know he’s a vampire. But he’s different somehow.”

Buffy sighed. “I just worry.”

“Don’t. Holy water, remember?”

“Okay.” Buffy eyed the heaping photo albums. “What’s all this?”

Grabbing a green one, Joyce opened it up. There were snapshots of Buffy as an infant. Some were alone and others with her parents. They seemed so happy together.

“Reminiscing,” Joyce said.

Buffy’s mother took another album. This one had pictures when Buffy was older. She turned the page and laughed. Buffy lay on the ground, autumn leaves covering her entire body but her head. Her expression was of pure delight.

“I remember that,” Buffy whispered. “Dad took it.”

“I also found this,” Joyce said. She reached over and took another book. She handed it to Buffy.

‘My Little One’, the title read. Buffy opened it to find entries, clearly her mother’s scrawl. She flipped through the pages. Her hospital bracelet was even taped inside.

“You can keep that,” Joyce said. “And here.” She gave her another book out of nowhere.

This one was called ‘First Little Angel’. It had a picture of a sleeping baby with a halo over its head.

“Mom?” Buffy’s vision blurred.

“Write everything down starting now,” Joyce advised.

Buffy leaned over and threw her arms around her mother. “I love you.”

* * *

Entry one

Dear baby,

Grandma just gave this to me. She’s been pretty disappointed in me lately, and this served as an acceptance token. I’m deeply relieved. Now all I have to do is get Grandpa Giles to make-up (I’ll make him get used to the name).

You’re my little miracle. I never thought I’d have the chance to raise a child. Slayers are supposed to have short lives. But I’m going to try my hardest to be around as long as I can. Giles told me about this slayer in the seventies who died because she cared about her son more than anything else. I don’t care. You are my world, baby. At first I was too numb over how you came to be, but now I love you more than life itself. If only Riley could

Buffy halted her pen. She crossed the last part off. She couldn’t lie to her child. Her daughter deserved the truth.

If only I could offer you a father. I’m so sorry. You have to understand. Spike could never be the daddy you deserve. He’s eaten babies for breakfast. I can’t trust him. Someday he might get his chip out. Then what would stop him? After all this time as imprisoned, his demon would be really mad too. He’d probably go off and kill half the town in one night with all his pent of longing for destruction. I can’t risk it. I can’t tell him.

Buffy closed her eyes and leaned her head back. Even if I want to, she silently added.

Chapter 8

Ever since her confession Giles had become cold towards her. He never spoke to her about anything except slayer business. She was relieved when he left for England in order to seek answers from the council about Glory.

On a positive note, Buffy had spoken to her mother and school guidance counselor. They had discussed her options and she had chosen one. She’d be able to complete some basic courses over the internet until after the birth. Her mother even bought her a laptop. It wasn’t like there weren’t pregnant girls all over campus, but Buffy thought this was the easiest choice. She’d be able to set her own hours to do the work required.

She was reading over a sociological article when the phone rang. She groaned and picked it up. Her mother was at the gallery so she couldn’t rely on anyone else to answer.

“Hello, Summers residence. Buffy speaking.”
“Buffy? Good, I caught you.”

Buffy shifted in her seat. Her attention focused on the conversation. “Giles? Did you find anything?” She feared that whatever he had found was urgent news. Why else would he call instead of waiting until he got back?

“It seems the council has found some information that can help us,” he said.

“About Glory?” she asked.

“Presumably. We'll find that out when we... arrive. Could be very important.”

“We? You mean . . .?”

He sighed heavily. “Yes, they’re coming back to Sunnydale with me. I’m sorry, Buffy. I thought I should give you fair warning so that you can prepare yourself.”

“Now? Why do they have to come here?” She could hear panic in her voice. “Giles, I don’t want them to come here. I don’t trust them. Especially now. What will I do if they find out about me? Make them not come here.”

“I can’t, Buffy. They may have valuable information and refuse to share unless they can deliver it in person.”

“They put me through that test, and it almost killed me. And then, when I was Faith, they almost killed me again. Honestly, I really don’t want them around my unborn baby.”

There was a long pause. “Despite my reaction to your uh . . . circumstances, I do care. I won’t let them hurt you or your child.”

Buffy shut her eyes. “Thank-you.”

* * *

Buffy was sure to change into a baggy sweatshirt. It was the biggest one she had, gray, and ugly. She usually wore it to lounge around the house in on a Sunday. With any luck the watchers wouldn’t even notice any change in her physique.

She had no idea when they were supposed to arrive. She wasn’t going to wait around for them to show themselves. She had important things to do.

Spike was actually waiting outside his crypt for her. He quickly discarded his glowing cigarette. He smiled and she returned it. Weird. She actually didn’t mind him around. Not that he was a talking-buddy or anything, but he wasn’t bad as a combat partner. She could rely on him to keep help her out if danger arose.

“Come on, Spike, let’s go see what we can find,” she said.

“Only an hour this time, pet,” he said.

She pouted.

“You know, there will come a point when you won’t be able to come out at all. Enjoy it while you can.”

She almost snapped at him that he had no right to dictate her life. But she didn’t because she knew he was right. She would have to stay off the battle field eventually.

Buffy was amazed had how in-synch they had become. Their movements complimented each other. She wondered if he could sense her the way she did him. His presence not only tingled on the back of her neck (like regular vampires), but consumed her entire body. She was too aware of every thrust he dished out. It unnerved her.

Suddenly voices filtered into the night.

“I must protest! This is outrageous, to confront her without any warning.”

Buffy would recognize that voice anywhere. She quickly staked the last remaining vamp. She braced herself for what was to come.

“Bad day,” she murmured.

Spike gave her a curious look.

“Miss. Summers.”

Buffy let her hand fall to her side, still clutching her stake. She took in the man before her. He definitely had gained some weight. He also had a goatee that wasn’t there before. He showed his age, sixty she guessed.

“Mr. Travers,” Buffy replied.

Spike dug into his pocket and took out a cigarette. He lit up and smirked. “Well, well, well, by the smell of tweed I’d have to guess watchers,” he remarked.

Buffy shot him a glare. He was a good lil vamp and discarded the smoke.

Giles stepped forward. “I’m sorry, Buffy, I tried to convince him to wait for you at the shop. But he wouldn’t have it.”

“That’s all right. I understand.” Her eyes scanned over the six people that stood with Quentin. “Friends?”

“Colleagues,” he said dryly. “Here to help with the review.”

“Excuse me?”

“Review? You said nothing of the sort.” Giles’s voice rose. Then he addressed Buffy. “We don’t have to rely on their aid. I’m sure that if we persisted . . .”

“Giles, be reasonable.” Buffy crossed her arms. She met the head-council’s eyes. “Test, huh? All right. I’m up for it.”

“Buffy . . .” Giles protested.

Quentin’s lips lifted slightly. “Glad there won’t be a scene. You carry on with your patrol and we’ll meet up at Rupert’s shop.”

“I’m through here,” Buffy said.

“Very well then.” He leaned over toward a blonde watcher with glasses. He whispered something to her. She nodded.

“We’ll start immediately,” he announced.

* * *

The next day Spike began a binge of chain smoking. He had to get his fix of nicotine when the slayer wasn’t around. There was a nock at the door. He went to answer it with uncertainty. He had no friends and Buffy never was polite when visiting.

He opened the door to reveal a woman with glasses. She had her hair twisted upon her head with a clip.

“H-Hello. I’ve come to ask you a few questions in regard to the slayer.” She paused. “Do you help the slayer often?”

“Need to get my spot of violence somewhere. But yeah, time and again. Nothing concrete, didn’t sign a contract as her side-kick.”

The woman frowned. “You fight by her side? I would think you’d want to kill her. You’ve killed slayers before.”

Spike took a deep drag of nicotine. He tilted his head, intrigued. “Heard of me, have you?”

Though it was dark he could make out the woman’s blush. She smiled, shyly. “I wrote my thesis on you.”

“Well, well, isn’t that neat. Tell me, pet, seeing as that we’re such good friends and all, how’s the slayer doing? Is she in her prime? High marks in all categories?”

* * *

The watcher pressed his stopwatch. “Record time,” he said.

Buffy wiped the sweat from her face with a clean towel. She was exhausted. They had put her through three tests so far: speed, strength, and endurance. When would it end? She couldn’t believe she was letting them do this to her. But she had to. It was the only way she’d get information about how to defeat Glory.

“Now onto agility,” Mr. Travers announced. “Phillip, collect the knives.”

“Knives!” She began to panic. She shot a glance at Giles.

“Hasn’t she been through enough?” Giles asked.

“Glory is stronger than you. She's a more powerful instrument, if you will. We can help you. We have information that will help. Pass the review and we give it to you without reservation. Fail the review, either through incompetence, or by resisting our recommendations....” Traver’s gestured toward Phillip, who had collected six knives. “Now, all you have to do is dodge the blade. If you cannot move fast enough, deflect it. But the goal is to get out of the way. Simple enough.”

Simple enough? Normally yes. If she were stabbed her slayer healing would kick in and patch her wound up pronto. But there was no guarantee it would cure any of her baby’s injuries. She wasn’t going to allow a speeding weapon to be aimed at her.

Quentin stared at her with a hard expression. He obviously didn’t get what the problem was.

Pointing his finger angrily, Giles yelled, “She's not your bloody instrument and you have no right to do any of this!”

“How much do you want our help?”

Buffy’s heart beat wildly. The workout room spun around her. She distantly heard Giles say something to her but she couldn’t make sense of it. Too much, too much! She did the only thing she could think of. She ran. She sped toward the backdoor and outside. She kept her pace up all the way home.

Revello Drive waited for her as a quiet sanctuary. She let herself into the house. It was dark and quiet. Her mother must be at the gallery. She leaned against the door in relief, taking in deep breaths. After a few moments she rounded the corner. She abruptly stopped.

Glory sat in the recliner. She looked up from The Baby Book: Everything you Need to Know about your Baby from Birth to Age Two.

“Long day, sweetie?”

The slayer didn’t answer. She stared with alarm at the book in Glory’s hand.

“So, is this yours?” Glory questioned. “Gonna have a little brat? Wow, that must put a damper on things.”

Buffy searched violently for a weapon. She spotted a sharp poker near the fireplace. She quickly grabbed it. Before she knew it Glory snatched it away.

“Buffy . . . If I wanted to fight, you could tell by the being dead already.”

“What do you want?” Buffy demanded.

Glory grinned. “The key. Why else do you think I'd come here? See, I think you know where it is. And that’s a good thing.”

“I’m glad you think so,” Buffy said.

“Well, it's the only thing keeping you alive right now.” She pointed the poker at Buffy’s stomach. “And your little spawn there. I could crush the life from you as easy as you'd break a nail. But I need the key. See my predicament. S0- Buffy. . .” She sighed. “Just give me the key. You either have it or you know where to find it. Obviously, this is a one-time-only deal. Next time we meet, something you love dies bloody. You know you can't take me. You know you can't stop me. ”

Glory stood up. She dropped the poker to the carpet. Buffy watched her leave grimly. Just then Joyce entered the room.

“Buffy, who was that?” Joyce asked with concern.

“Pack a bag,” Buffy ordered.

* * *

Spike awoke with a howl. He shot up from the sarcophagus, dodging the beam of light that filtered in from the door.

“Oh, it’s the slayer. For a second there I was worried.” His voice dripped with sarcasm.

The vampire noticed Joyce by the entrance. She held a small bag.

“What’s with the family outing?”

Buffy softly said, “I need your help.”

Spike scratched his brow. “Great, I need your cash.”

Buffy shook her head. “This is important, Spike. I need you to protect my mother while I’m gone. Glory came to my house today . . .”

Spike visibly stiffened. “You all in one piece? Didn’t lay a finger on you, did she?”

Buffy narrowed her eyes. Just a minute ago he was being a pain in the ass and now he seemed concerned.

“I’m fine,” she said. “I have to go settle things with the council. I can’t leave Mom alone. Just . . . keep an eye on her for me.”

“Well, that's a boatload of manly responsibility to come flying out of nowhere.” He paused. “But, sure. I accept.” He called over to Joyce. “Come on in. Plenty of blood in the fridge. Make yourself at home. But be quiet, Passions is coming on.”

He went over to the black-and-white television and played with the antenna. Joyce perked up.

“Oh, Passions! Do you think Timmy’s really dead?”

“Oh. No, no. She can sew him back together. He’s a doll for god’s sake,” Spike said.
Buffy shook her head. She turned to leave. She’d never understand that vampire.

* * *

It was beginning to get dark. Buffy dreaded her arrival back to the store. She didn’t know how she was going to explain her flee for all hours ago. She glanced at her watch.

“Crap,” she muttered. Four hours ago.

Suddenly a black figure jumped out from behind a trashcan. He grabbed her around the waist, pulling her to the pavement. She got up as fast as she could. They faced off. She was surprised to realize he wore knight’s armor. Another guy in chain mail appeared out of nowhere. The two circled her.

“Any way we can not do this?” Buffy asked.

The first knight swung his sword. She ducked to avoid it. The second attempted to hit her with a staff. She deflected it. She spun and kicked the staff-holder in the stomach. Then she blocked a swing from sword-guy. She kicked the staff-knight until he stumbled backwards. She disarmed him and hit him in the face with his own weapon. The man went down. She turned toward the other.

She dropped low in order to avoid his sword. She rose again and used the staff to knock the sword out of his hand. She got the man down on the ground. She held him down with the staff to his throat. She tore his helmet away.

The knight looked human. The only thing unusual was the blue symbol on his forehead that resembled a blazing sun.

“Who or what are you?” Buffy demanded.

“One soldier in a vast army,” he choked.

“What army?”

“The Knights of Byzantium, an ancient order. And now your enemy.”
She ground the staff into his flesh. “You work for Glory?”

“You think we align ourselves with the beast? You must be mad.”

“You’re the ones trying to kill me.”

“So long as you protect the key, the brotherhood will never stop until we destroy it and you. You are the Slayer, and we know what we must do. Now, be done with it. Kill us, and let legions follow.”

Buffy got off him. She tossed the staff aside and took the sword instead. “Go.”

* * *

The whole watcher gang was assembled when she entered.

“Miss Summers, so kind of you to make your presence known once again,” Travers greeted.

Giles stood up from his place on the loft stairs. “Was there an attack?”

“Yeah.”

“We can continue the review at last,” Quentin Travers said.

“There won’t be any review.”

“Sorry?”

“Glory ... came to my home today.”

Giles’s eyes widened. “Are you . . .?”

“Just to talk.” Buffy paced. “She told me I'm a bug, I'm a flea, she could squash me in a second. Only she didn't. She came into my home, and we talked. We had what in her warped brain probably passes for a civilized conversation. Why?” She paused. “Because she needs something from me.”

Buffy leaned over the table to get up and personal with the head watcher. “I have the key. I don’t know what she needs it for but I have a pretty good idea that it is something bad. Now, Mr. Travers, you may be a bitter old man but I don’t think you want the world to end. So, I suggest you tell me what I need to know. Otherwise I won’t be able to protect this key and the whole planet goes to hell. Understand?”

It took a moment for Quentin to answer.

“Understood.”

“Good. Now, tell me what kind of demon I’m fighting.”

“You see, that’s the problem. . . Glory isn’t a demon. She’s a god.”

Chapter 9

The council finally left. Buffy thought she could finally relax. All she wanted to do was go home and sleep for a day and a half. Instead Giles hit her with a harsh look. Oh no, what did I do now? she thought.

“What key?” Giles asked.

Buffy opened her mouth.

“The fate of the world depends on it, I gathered. And you have it in your possession?” His palms hit the tabletop, which made her jump. Her eyes widened. Good God, he could be scary sometimes. “Don’t you think I should have been informed of this . . . this development in the Glory matter?”

She stared down at her lap. She should have told him. She didn’t because she had been trying to come to grips with it all. She couldn’t handle more turbulence in her life.

“I- I’m sorry,” she whispered.

He took a deep breath. “Tell me now. This key, where is it hidden? I hope that you don’t have it stashed under your bed. What does it look like? Any idea what it does?”

The mixture of emotions burst out in a burst of laughter. Tears trickled down her cheeks as well. She wiped them away. Giles watched her in shock. She shook her head.

“It’s not under my bed, I assure you. I take better care of it than that.”

“I hope so.”

Buffy lifted her head. “I carry it wherever I go.” She swallowed and hugged her stomach. “I kinda don’t have a choice.”

It took a moment for Giles to get it. When he did he sat down from the implication. He tore the glasses from his face.

“Dear lord,” he muttered.

“Yeah, my exact thoughts,” Buffy replied. “There are, or rather were, these monks against Glory. They declared themselves as protector of the key. This one I tried to help told me it is some transportation device. She wants to use it to go somewhere? I guess this dimension doesn’t meet goddess status. Glory caught up with them and they had to give the key to someone else for safe keeping.”

“You.”

“Uh huh. They sent her to me in human form.”

There was a long span of silence. Giles finished polishing his spectacles and placed them back on his face. He cleared his throat.

“I don’t know what to say,” he told her.

“Tell me about it,” Buffy said.

“Are you going to tell the others?”

“M-maybe. They’ll freak. I don’t blame them.”

Giles reached out and placed his hand on hers. His eyes were soft. “I want to apologize. I never should have treated you so distantly. . . “

“I didn’t let you down,” she said. “They created false memories about her conception.”

“You are so very brave to accept this burden. I understand why they chose you.”

Buffy squeezed his hand. “If you believe in destiny this is it. I have to take care of her. I want to.”

“And so you shall. With a little help from your ex-watcher.”

“Screw the council, Giles, you’ll always be my watcher.”

* * *

Mothers don’t like being nosy. It is simply their duty. They have to make sure their offspring isn’t hooked on weed, cigarettes, or booze. They lift the mattress while making the bed, sneek a peek now and then under the bed, and check your underwear drawer while putting clothes away. No harm done really. If they found anything it would be purely accidental.

Joyce placed the folded pile of Buffy’s laundry on the bed. She was about to exit the room when she halted. The baby book lay next to it, open, and enticing. Just a glance, she thought. Summers women were born with the curiosity gene. Sometimes it was a good thing, sometimes bad.

She expected to find sentences about gaining weight, morning sickness, fear, and joy. Instead she came across words like: key, God, and . . . Spike?

Joyce settled down and grabbed the book. She began to read from entry one.

* * *

The knock jarred Joyce out of her daze. She went to the door and opened it. Her eyes widened when she realized it was Spike.

“Hullo, Joyce,” he said in greeting. “Is Buffy around?”

Joyce blinked. “Um no. Sorry she isn’t.”

He stuffed his hands in his duster. “Oh, right.” He nodded. “I’ll be off then. Just tell her I stopped by, would you?” He turned around to leave.

“Wait, Spike!?”

He shifted back around and lifted his scarred eyebrow.

Mrs. Summers cracked the door wider. “Why don’t you come in and wait for her? I could make you a mug of hot chocolate.”

The vampire grinned. “That’d be right nice of you, Joyce.” He stepped into the kitchen. “Got any of those tiny marshmallows?”

“I’ve got a whole unopened bag,” Joyce said. She filled the kettle with two percent milk. Then she went to the cupboard and took down two mugs, one flowered and the other with a Halloween black bat on the front.

Spike hopped up onto a stool at the island. He tapped his fingers on the counter and hummed the tune to “I wanna be sedated”. When Joyce faced him he silenced.

“So, you want to see Buffy? Does it have to do with Glory?” Joyce questioned.

“No. A vampire attack. Nothing serious,” he replied.

“That’s good.”

He nodded.

Joyce tried not to stare. “So, you been keeping up with Passions?”

He smiled. “Course. Can’t believe what’s going on now.”

“Oh, yes, with Teresa. Do you think she is really dead?”

“Nah, she makes the show too interesting.”

Joyce put her hand in a mitt and grabbed the kettle off the stove. She poured some into the mugs. She got out the Nestle Quick chocolate mix and stirred some into the liquid. She handed Spike his. He took a sip. Afterward an expression of pure bliss spread across his face.

“No one makes cocoa quite like you, Joyce,” Spike complimented.

Joyce came to a realization then. He was simply a little boy wrapped up in a vampire façade. He was cute actually. The fact that he developed a chocolate mustache confirmed it.

“Spike, you might want to wipe your mouth,” Joyce advised.

He did, clearly embarrassed. He dug into his pocket and drew out his lighter. He flipped it on and off in his hand. He can’t smoke, Joyce thought. So he’s doing the next best thing. I bet he does it to convince himself he’s bad. She shook her head.

Just then Spike’s head jerked up. A few seconds later Buffy stepped into the kitchen. She froze when she spotted Spike. The slayer crossed her arms.

“What’s going on?” Buffy demanded.

“Oh, Buffy,” Joyce said. “Spike came over to see you but you were out.”

Buffy’s eyes darted from her mother to Spike and then back again. “So you decided to get all chummy?”

Joyce frowned. “I offered some hot chocolate while he waited.”

Buffy’s face remained hard.

Spike got up from his seat. “Thank you for the refreshment, Joyce. I can’t finish, though. Got important matters with your one and only.”

“No problem, Spike. Come by anytime.”

Joyce watched as the two blondes headed out of the room. She let out a sigh. She’d have a talk with Buffy later.

* * *

The slayer followed Spike to his black Desoto. He held the door open for her. She glared in response. Just because she was pregnant didn’t mean she wasn’t capable of doing things for herself. Geez . . . She climbed into the car.

After he got in behind the wheel she swiveled to face him. “Where are we going?”

“Heard some commotion about a train massacre. Six dead from neck trauma. Haven’t heard?”

She shook her head. “I’ve-I’ve been preoccupied.”

Spike put the silver key into the ignition. He pulled out of the driveway. “Thought we’d take a look at the train. Play Nancy Drew or whotnot for clues. What ya say?”

Buffy shrugged. “I guess so. . . Sure.”

She leaned back and let him drive. She closed her eyes and listened to the rumble of the engine.

“You all right? Don’t need the heater or nothing?” he asked.

“I’m fine.”

She winced when he began to sing softly. He tapped the stirring wheel. His taste in music was atrocious.

“I wanna be sedated. Yeah, I wanna be sedated. Do you like The Ramones?”

“Spike, shut up and drive,” she snapped.

To her relief he was quiet the rest of the ride. They finally arrived and Buffy hurried out of the car. She didn’t wait for her companion and headed into Sunnydale station. She stepped onto the platform before the train. Yellow caution tape blocked the entrance. She took a hand and ripped it. Then she entered the dark train car. She felt Spike come up behind her.

They entered. Luckily they both had night vision because neither had brought a flashlight. Buffy’s eyes ran over the tape that outlined where the passengers had sat. There were a few red stains on the seats.

“Not much to examine,” Buffy softly said.

Spike didn’t answer. She turned around. He reached up and snatched something from the cargo hold. She came closer and saw that it was a porcelain doll. Red material covered its eyes.

“Creepy,” Buffy commented.

Spike’s fingers dug deeper into the doll. “Buffy, I think you and your mum should pack a bag and come stay with me for awhile.”

She furrowed her brow. “Why? What does a freaky doll mea. . . “ Her eyes widened.

“Yeah. Dru’s come for a visit.”

“God, I hate that crazy hoe,” Buffy said.

Surprisingly Spike didn’t object to her name-calling. He stuffed the doll into his coat.

“Luv, seriously, come spend a few nights in my crypt.”

“Why do you care? There was a time you wanted to kill me. What changed?”

“I like your mum,” he simply replied.

“Yeah, but what about me? Why not let Drusilla come and do what you can’t?”

Spike’s head shot up. “Despite what you think, Summers, I’ve changed.”

She snorted. “What, that chip in your head? That's not change. Tha-that's just ... holding you back. You're like a serial killer in prison!”

“Not because of the sodding chip shoved up in my skull. I’m good now.”

“Angel was good. You’re still a soulless monster.”

Spike stared at her in silence.

Buffy started to leave. He reached out and took hold of her arm. He tugged her back.

“Something’s happening to me! I can’t stop thinking about you. And if that means turning my back on the whole evil thing-“

“Uh-“ Buffy moaned. She ripped her arm from his clutch.

“I lie awake every night and think about you.”

“You sleep during the day!”

“Th-That’s not the point! The point is I feel for you.”

“You don’t know what feelings are!” she yelled.

“This is real,” he forced. “I can’t stand the thought of anything happening to you or the bit. I love-“

Buffy covered her mouth in horror. She spun around and ran out.

“I love you, Buffy! You can’t run away from this!”

She did just that.
 

Chapter 10

Damn bitch! Spike stormed into his crypt and slammed the door. He kicked it in frustration. Then he ventured further into his dwelling, set on collecting all the booze he possessed.

There was a slight creak behind him. He spun just in time to see a feminine shadow emerge. He narrowed his eyes.

“Who’s there?”

The form neared. “A happy memory, pretty Spike.”

The vampire froze. His nostrils flared.

Drusilla neared. Her long white gown flowed, making it appear as if she floated. She carried a deep red rose. He noticed blood drip from her fingers as they dug into the thorns.

“I’ve come to make everything right again. I want us to be a family again, my William.” She brushed the rose petals down her cheek.

Spike stared in astonishment. Drusilla leaned forward. She whispered into his ear.

“Come back with me to Los Angeles.”

He pulled back. “Don’t think so, pet. I've done the whole L.A. scene, Dru. Didn't agree with me. Besides. . .” He swept his hand across their darkened surroundings. “Got myself a sweet setup here in SunnyD. Decent digs. . . and not to mention all the local townies I can eat.”

She wagged a finger at him. “Naughty. Shh. No need to make up stories for mommy. I already know why you’re not coming. Poor boy. Tin soldiers put funny little knick-knacks in your brain.” She flinched. “Can't hunt! Can't hurt! Can't kill!”

Frowning, Spike said, “Right. So you’ve heard. Poor Spike's become a cautionary tale for vampires, right? ‘You better be good, kiddies, or else they might wire you up someday!’ ” Disgust dripped from his voice.

“I don’t believe in science,” she said. “All those bits and molecules no one's ever seen. I trust eyes and heart alone. And do you know what mine is singing out right now?”

She gently took his hand. She spread his palm against her dead heart. He closed his eyes, trying to shut out the flash of placing that very hand over Buffy’s belly. Her baby, alive and kicking.

“You're a killer. Born to slash ... and bash ... and...” Dru gasped in pleasure. “Bleed like beautiful poetry.”

Spike opened his eyes. He became transfixed by her dark gaze. In her eyes he saw the night open up to him and wrap him in its embrace.

* * *

“Honey!” Joyce called as soon as Buffy entered the house.

The slayer followed her mother’s voice into the kitchen. Joyce finished putting a stack of plates away. She shut the dishwasher and turned to face her daughter.

“Did you find the bad guys?”

Buffy shook her head, distracted. She took in a deep breath. “No. He uh . . . Mom, he confessed to loving me. Can you believe it? Spike! I mean, he’s tried to kill me how many times.”

“How long ago was the last attempt?” Joyce softly asked.

That caught Buffy off guard. She had to think for a moment. A year? Longer maybe.

“He can’t because of the chip,” Buffy said reasonably.

“That doesn’t stop him from hiring someone else.”

Buffy gaped. “Are you on his side!?”

“I’m not on anyone’s side. But have you considered the fact that possibly his feelings are genuine?”

Horror spread over Buffy. She clutched the yellow island. “He’s a vampire. He has no soul. It’s impossible.”

“Just as it is for one to impregnate my daughter?”

Buffy gasped and covered her mouth.

“I accidentally saw a passage in your book while putting clothes away. Buffy, why didn’t you tell me?” Joyce went on.

Moisture accumulated in Buffy’s eyes. She looked away.

“I think you should tell him the truth. Every father deserves that.”

“He’s a monster,” Buffy countered.

“Maybe physically,” Joyce said.

“Oh my God, Mom! Just because he sits here and talks to you about Passions doesn’t mean he’s civilized!”

“I’m not saying you should marry him,” Joyce added. “I’m simply saying that he has a right to know his child. That’s all.”

Buffy blinked back her tears. “I’ll- I’ll think about it.”

* * *

They moved together slowly to the gothic beat. Her lithe form slid against him sensually. It was like old times. Before the slayer. Before the Chaos demon in South America. All there was was his dark princess. She was his entire world again, inside and out.

Drusilla turned so that her back was to him. Her head lifted. Spike wrapped his arms around her thin waist. She leaned against him and signaled up to the balcony with her eyes. He followed them to a couple. They boy and girl kissed passionately, oblivious to everyone else. An evil smirk came to Spike’s face.

Dru took his hand. She led him up the stairs toward the young pair of humans. When they reached the top she let go and headed for them. She fluidly took the girl and snapped her neck. Her body was shoved into Spike’s arms. Then she went for the boy’s neck.

Spike stared down at the limp female he held. Her head lulled back invitingly. He felt his facial bones shift. And then he heard it. A tiny fluttering. Soft, frantic, trying to keep going. It quickly died. Spike dropped the girl as if he had been burned. That hadn’t been the girl’s heart.

Drusilla watched him as she fed. Her golden eyes were harsh with confusion. Red trickled from the side of her mouth. He glanced back at his fallen prey. Realization flickered into his brain. She had been pregnant. The slight flutter he had heard had been the baby. Fading into nothing.

Spike stumbled back.

* * *

No one was apparently home. Buffy had knocked and then finally kicked her way in. She took a look around. So this is where Spike lived. She pressed a hand to her stomach, praying for the nausea to subside. The place smelled rotten.

See, Mom, Buffy thought. This is why I haven’t told him. He lives amongst the ruins of the deceased. He ‘is’ deceased. I want to offer my daughter life, not death.

She stepped forward. There wasn’t much there. She recognized the sarcophagus. She had often walked in to find him sitting or lying on top of it. Cobwebs drooped down from every corner. The television and green chair were the only hint of domestication. But even she could tell they had been snatched from the junkyard.

She spotted a ladder and made her way to it. She lowered into what looked like a cavern. She jumped at the sight of a pile of human skulls near the bottom of the ladder.

“Ew!” she shrieked.

A torch burned on the wall. She grabbed it. She surveyed the room. There were three partially open caskets. A spider crawled over the side of one and scurried across the stone floor.

On the wall hung a black sheet. What was that? Curiously she went over to investigate. She tugged on it and it fell. She gasped at what she found.

Pictures. They made up a gigantic collage. Some were snapshots, while others were drawings. Bile rose up in her throat. This was a shrine devoted to herself. She backed away.

Oh god! Oh God! Sicko! He’s as bad as Angeles.

A certain portion of the wall suddenly stuck out. These had tacked up drawings clearly not drawn from life. One showed her with a bulging belly about ready to burst. Her face was lit up with glee. Another just displayed her stomach. Inside had been sketched a curled up baby. Light glowed around it. Was that how he saw her daughter? Magical? Holy? She gasped at a picture of her holding the baby . . . with Spike. They both gazed down with pride, as if they were new parents.

He’s obsessed and clouded with illusions. He’s ‘worse’ than Angeles.

Buffy spun and made for the ladder. She climbed back up to the surface. She stopped when she felt a tingle. Spike!

“See anything interesting?”

Buffy got to her feet. He stood before her with harsh eyes. He carried the still form of Drusilla lovingly.

“Spike, I . . . uh . . . what happened?” she asked.

He tightened his grip on the vampiress. “You remember my ex, don’t you? Came back she did.” He snickered. “Couldn’t live without me.”

Buffy stared in silence.

“Come with me,” he demanded. “I want to show you something.”

For some reason that she couldn’t decipher she did. He led her back down into the underground cave. He went further than she had. A pillar came into view.

“Be a luv and grab that rope over there, will you, slayer?”

Buffy handed him the rope. She watched as he tied the unconscious Drusilla to the pillar.

“What is this?” she asked and crossed her arms.

“I’m going to prove something to you.” Spike faced Buffy. “I – Love- You.”

Buffy’s face twisted into revulsion.

“You’re all I bloody think about, dream about. You’re in my gut. I’m drowning in you, Summers, I’m drowning in you.”

Buffy shook her head. “I’ve seen your little shrine, Spike. You call that love? That’s nothing but obsession.”

His jaw twitched. “I had to get my feelings out somewhere.” He took a step toward her. “Buffy-?”

She jumped backward.

“I know it is more. Today I was ready to do what is best for both of us. I was going to go off with Dru here and leave you alone. Because this with you is wrong. I know it. I’m not a complete idiot.” He paused. “She took me out hunting.”

Her eyes flared with alarm. She drew out the stake hidden in her waistband. Spike seemed unaffected by it.

“She caught a meal for me. But I couldn’t go through with the actual feeding. And do you know why?”

“She smelled funny?” Buffy guessed.

He wasn’t amused. “You. I had a full chance at returning to the monster I’m supposed to be, and all I could think about was ‘you’ and that bitty you’ve got tucked away.”

Laughter abruptly echoed throughout the room. They turned to find Dru awake.

“I knew it before you did. I knew you loved the slayer. The pixies in my head whispered it to me,” Drusilla said.

“You want proof that I love you?” Spike inquired. He grabbed a sharp piece of wood that lay on the ground. “I’m going to kill Drusilla for you.”

Buffy shrugged. “That doesn’t prove anything. I’m happy to do it myself.” Buffy raised her stake.

Spike growled. “What does it take!?”

“Spike you never had a chance and you never will!”

His eyes darkened. “So what was that little wrestle we had almost five months ago, huh?”

There was a span of silence. “That was a one time deal that meant ‘nothing’.”

Drusilla clucked her tongue. “Naughty, naughty slayer, it isn’t nice to lie. Especially to our William.” Her expression became dreamy. “I can see her dancing between you both. Glowing bright like a green star. There’s no hope for my Spike. A part of his effulgence swirls within the shimmer.”

Shut up! Buffy silently begged.

Spike cocked his head to study Buffy. His eyes were accusing. “What’s she talking about?”

“She’s crazy, Spike. She doesn’t know what she is talking about.” Please believe me. Please.

“I beg to differ, luv. You think I’d stand by Dru’s side for a century without picking up on her riddles?”

Buffy’s heart pounded wildly. She lifted her weapon with a trembling hand. He easily knocked it aside and snatched her wrist.

“Don’t you dare lie to me, girl!” He pushed her against the wall. Her head smacked against the hard surface.

Buffy’s eyes widened as she spotted movement behind him. “Spike!” she warned.

It wasn’t soon enough. Drusilla had somehow managed to escape her bindings. She picked up a discarded 2x4 piece of wood. She swung it at Spike. He went flying.

Drusilla’s attention fell on Buffy. “Did you know I’m a mommy now too?” Buffy dodged a kick.

“Spike is going to be a daddy, but not to yours,” Dru went on. “So lost, but I can bring him back into the darkness. When you are gone there will be nothing blocking who he is. We’ll have a party for him with streamers and presents when I’m through.”

Drusilla grabbed Buffy’s throat. She squeezed tightly. Spike picked himself up. He quickly took up the fallen stake. He rushed at Dru. He flung her aside and then shoved the weapon into her heart. She looked shocked before bursting into dust.

Buffy gasped for air. Spike reached out and touched her cheek. “Are you all right?”

She jerked her head away. She moved past him and hurried for the exit. She was too aware of him trailing behind.

“You can’t walk away like nothing happened!” he called.

She ignored him.

“That’s my baby inside you, isn’t it? Not the white bread’s.”

She forced herself not to turn around.

“I have a responsibility to you and our kid.”

She angrily looked back. “This changes nothing! You are a vampire. Vampires do not go to parent teacher meetings. I want you to stay away from my baby after it’s born!”

“No, it isn’t that easy! We have something. We created something that night together.”

“That night never happened!” she shouted.

“Oh, so you’re going to play amnesia trip now!”

They came to Revello Drive. Buffy practically ran to her door. She thrust it open.

“Like it or not I’m in her life. You can’t shut me out!”

Buffy stepped inside her home. Spike bounced back from an invisible barrier. He stared in shock. When realization dawned his face crumpled. Buffy slammed the door, not able to take the sight of him. He pounded on the door.

“Buffy! Buffy, please!” he yelled. “She’s mine too. I’ve never-“ His voice broke. “I’ve always been a killer not a creator. Buffy! Give me a chance. Buffy!”

Buffy began to cry. She could hear the vampire on the other side join her. She pressed her hand against the door.

“I’m not leaving until you let me in,” Spike vowed.

A battle rose up in Buffy’s belly. She’d never felt the baby kick so fiercely. She hugged her stomach and went upstairs to bed. She tried to sleep but the baby wouldn’t let her.

She could feel him the entire night. When the sky outside her window lightened Buffy sat up. He was still there. She got up, ready to yank the vampire to safety. Just as she made it to the door she sensed him leave. She let out a sigh of relief.

She sucked in a breath when the baby jabbed her hard in the ribs. Buffy closed her eyes.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered.

_________________________________________________

If someone didn’t know what Dru meant by ‘I’m a mommy now too’, she meant Darla. In Angel, Darla was vamped again by Drusilla.

And so Spike knows now. I hope you aren’t too mad at me for Buffy’s behavior.

Chapter 11

She was big now, and she kept getting more so. There was no hiding her condition. She might as well wear a flashing neon light that proclaimed ‘I’m having a baby’. To her frustration none of her old clothes fit, and so she had to build an entire new wardrobe. She felt extremely dopey and unattractive.

Buffy began to shop in the infant section of the stores. Once while she was examining strollers a little girl came up. She was darling, probably six years-old, in overalls and pig-tails. She reached out a tiny hand toward Buffy’s bulge.

“Can I feel the baby?” she asked.

The slayer couldn’t help but smile. “Go ahead,” Buffy said, giving consent.

The girl put her palm against her belly. Her eyes danced with glee. She joined her right hand with her left.

“My mommy is bigger than you are,” the child said. “She says she’s going to pop one of these days.”

Buffy giggled.

“My new sister or brother won’t leave mommy alone. He dances around so much. Does yours do that? I don’t feel him doing that now.”

Luckily the baby was taking a rest. She had become overly active after the eventful night with Spike. Buffy had to wonder if she was displaying wrath over Spike’s absence. It had been almost three weeks since then, and the vampire hadn’t shown his face even once. Xander, Giles, and Willow went out patrolling but Buffy knew that their skills were lacking compared to Spike or her ability. The vampire population was flourishing. She’d caught glimpses of the obituary section of the newspaper. She inwardly sighed. Something had to be done.

“She’s taking a nap,” Buffy said.

The girl laughed.

“Sally,” a woman called.

“That’s my mommy. I gotta go,” the little girl said. She pressed a kiss to Buffy’s belly. Then she muttered a ‘goodbye’ to the baby and another to Buffy. She scampered off.

Warmth spread through Buffy. So cute, she thought. I hope my kid is that sweet. But I’m going to teach her not to wander off and talk to strangers.

Buffy went home and wrote in her baby book. She jotted down a normal passage about the little girl she met in the store.

* * *

The past few weeks had been the worst imaginable. Ever since the first moment he saw her a curse befell him. It must be the power’s doing, to make him pay for the torment he dished out to others. The slayer haunted his mind night and day, at least lurking in some corner. At first he was obsessed with ripping her throat out and draining her dry, and then that changed to how he wanted to keep her safe and happy. And now (after he thought it couldn’t get any worse) . . . a baby. A tiny little Buffy. How could he not love her back?
It would have been a dream come true. But yet again it was part of the curse. To be able to create something with the woman he loved but never hold it, the worst kind of punishment.

Why should he anyway? He was a vampire after all. He couldn’t give her what she needed. He couldn’t take her into the light. Slayer was right, Spike thought, I’m not meant for parent teacher night.

Spike sprung up from his lying position on the sarcophagus when he heard the door creak open. Buffy entered. She came to a halt only five feet away. Oh, he had forgotten how radiant she looked. Three weeks without her. It seemed like years. Had she gotten rounder? It was quite becoming. Why wasn’t she wearing a coat? He had no feeling toward temperature but he was sure it was nippy out.

Buffy crossed her arms. “Spike, I haven’t seen you around lately,” she said.

He sat up straighter. Her cold voice made the amazement from her sudden arrival vanish. He felt angry. No, furious! That was his baby inside her and she rebuked him from it. Screw parent teacher night! He could still rock the girl (yes, he had decided it would be female. Another Summers girl to drive him mad) to sleep, kiss her in the morning, sing to her, tell her stories . . . love her damnit. How dare Buffy be so cruel!? He knew she was a bitch but this!

Spike jumped down and got in her face. “Why do you think that is, slayer?” he hissed. “Could be because you made it perfectly clear that you wanted me to stay away.”

Her expression stayed the same. Ice queen, she was.

“I may not need you in my life, Spike, but I can’t patrol without you.”

He snorted. Oh, she wanted him for business and nothing more. Well, that was rich.
“Don’t think so, pet.”

She stared in disbelief, and then shook her head. “This just proofs my theory. Vampires can’t love.”

He felt fire rise up inside his chest. He would have leashed out at her if it weren’t for her condition. Buffy winced and placed a hand on her belly. She seemed unconcerned so he let it go. Was the baby kicking? Hope she gives her mum a right thrashing.

“Buffy, I can’t be around you,” Spike said. He sighed. “Not when you’re carrying my child. I won’t be able to stay away later on.”

“It isn’t your child!” Buffy spat.

“Don’t play games with me! I very well know what Dru’s rant meant. She may . . .” He swallowed. A pang hit his heart. “. . . might have spat out twisted words but there was truth to them.”

Oh, my dark princess. I staked you for her. So that she could love me. Good that did. Hah! Should have let you do her in. No, the baby . . . Still, I would have been better off skipping town with you and doing away with this nonsense.

“The monks might have created her with your blood, but that is all. The night we shared never happened,” Buffy said.

Monks? “What are you off about?”

Buffy lowered her eyes. “She’s a key. She opens portals. These monks created her so that w-I could protect her from Glory. They planted our night together in our memories. It never happened. This baby has your blood, but ‘you’ are ‘not’ really her father.”

Of course. Sunnydale kept getting better and better. Now they had mystical keys . . . and false memories. Figured the slayer wouldn’t really desire him in anyway, even physically. Another part of the curse. Wasn’t the chip enough? What did the powers want from him?

“Do you feel any less her mother?” Spike asked.

Buffy faltered. “That’s different. She’s a part of me. She’s ‘inside’ me.”

“Still, all she has is your blood.”

Buffy looked away. He hit a nerve.

Spike took in an unneeded breath. “Blood isn’t just physical. It’s life.” He gestured to her stomach. “As much as you deny it, a piece of our essence went into her.” He paused. “So, you see why I can’t go patrolling with you?”

“Not really.”

He gritted his teeth. “I’ll grow attached.”

She nodded. “You’ll become a stalker outside her window. I understand. Fine.”

Buffy turned away. He watched her walk away.

Damnit! Spike banged his head against the stone wall. His speech hadn’t fazed her at all.

____________________________________________

Thanks for reading, people. I hope that answered some of you guys’ question about how Spike is truly the father when the hot night never happened. The monks used his DNA along with Buffy’s. So, yes, he ‘is’ the father, just not in the conventional way.

Chapter 12

One of the many downsides to being pregnant was the frequent hospital visits. If anyone knew Buffy at all they knew that she ‘hated’ doctors. Even though her appointments were connected with life, they still reminded her of death. Her beloved cousin, a child, couldn’t be saved no matter how hard the doctors tried to. Buffy couldn’t help but be filled with insecurity for her baby’s safety. It was hard having to deal with supernatural anxiety alongside that of the natural means.

At least Dr. Grant was friendly. He didn’t appease her worry, but she appreciated his willingness to try and soothe her.

This session was pretty basic. He weighed her. She had gained so much. Too much, in her opinion; but Dr. Grant assured her it was normal. He asked her standard questions, took a blood and urine sample, and performed a blood pressure test.

Before leaving, Buffy stopped by the birthing center. She looked upon the infants behind the glass. They were lined up in two rows, wrapped in either a pink blanket or blue. Aw, they were so cute. Buffy pressed a hand against her belly. She wondered what her child would look like. She had to admit Spike had a part in its makeup. That wasn’t actually a bad thing. He was, after all, a sex- handsome ma- vampire. What would he offer? His beautifully sculpted cheekbones? His cobalt eyes? She hoped the baby at least had her nose. She had an adorable nose, if she did say so herself.

Buffy pried herself away from the window. It was getting late. She needed to get back before the otherworldlies prowled. Hmm . . . How sad it was that the vampire slayer avoided said vampires now. She simply couldn’t take the risk, though. Her baby came first above all else. Even Giles backed her up on that one now.

The hall was deserted. It was quiet, and she felt as if she were the only one there. The white walls were getting to her. She needed to get out of this place. Suddenly she heard a commotion. Slayer curiosity got the better of her and she changed direction.

She’d never been in this part of the hospital before. A chill ran through her as the noise became distinguishable as men shouting. She followed it to a room. It was jam-packed with male patients in beds. They all sat up and fought against their bindings.

“So pretty,” one said. “Green and shiny.”

Buffy backed away. She quickly wished she hadn’t entered the room.
Her back hit something hard. There was a loud crash. She spun around to find Ben in green scrubs. A tray of medication had fallen to the marble floor. Should she help him clean it up? That would be the polite thing to do, but her wild heart told her to flee.

“I’m sorry,” Buffy apologized.

“Don’t worry about it.” The nurse bent down to retrieve the medicine cups.

“Are they-?”

Ben looked up. “Crazy? Yeah. This is where they stash Sunnydale’s brain fried.”

“There are so many,” Buffy whispered.

The nurse forced a laugh. “Seems to be an epidemic as of late.”

“Well, I better get going,” Buffy said. “See you around.”

She began to walk away. She let out a breath, realizing how tense she had been during the conversation. One of the patients moaned behind her. Then others joined in, creating an overpowering sound of loss.

“The key!” a voice called.

Buffy froze. She turned back around against her better judgment. Ben’s eyes met hers widely. He dropped the tray again, this time uncaringly. He pointed at her accusingly.

“You’re the one we’ve been searching for. You have to leave!” Ben advised.

The baby jumped around inside with panic. She sensed the situation. Buffy placed a hand against her belly, trying to calm her down. Ben noticed the gesture. He shook his head.

“Oh no,” Ben said. “Not- Go, now! I can feel-“

The next thing Buffy knew Ben’s head whipped from side to side. He let out a cry of pain. And Glory appeared. The goddess stretched out her lithe body. Then she glanced down in disgust at the hospital wear that covered it.

What had happened to Ben? He was there just a second ago.

Glory surveyed her surroundings. She smirked at the writhing psychos. Her gaze fell on Buffy. Her smirk grew.

“Didn’t think you’d come to me. Thought it’d be the other way around. You have guts, princess,” Glory said.

Run, Buffy’s mind screamed. She spun and fled into the corridor. She didn’t even hear Glory’s footsteps come after her. She was slammed face-first against the wall.

“Don’t run, the fun’s just starting,” the goddess rang out.

+ + +

Spike was the definition of wanker. He had lied to Buffy. He was already attached to BOTH mother and daughter. He couldn’t stand the thought of anything happening to either of his girls. He made a decision then. He had to keep an eye on them. There was no way he was going to let Buffy win this, though. He’d keep his distance, just out of range.

He snatched up his duster and slid into it. It fell around his body as if it were a second skin. He threw open the door and walked out into the night with a purpose. He made it to 1630 Revello in record time. He stood on the sidewalk before the dark structure. No one was home. Bugger. Please don’t tell me she went out on patrol, he silently pleaded. Where could she have gone off to?

Something pulled him. He followed at its mercy.

The next thing he knew he came before the Sunnydale Memorial. He knew it well because he nicked a bag or two of blood now and again. But why was he here now? He didn’t believe in coincidences. He was there for a reason.

Spike entered the building. It was unusually quiet. A woman looked up from the information desk.

“May I help you?”

He shot her a sexy grin. “Just here to see a mate, ducks.”

“Visiting hours are over,” she told him.

Oh, screw it all. He didn’t want any trouble. He let his face shift. She froze, her skin going white. She let out a squeak.

“Don’t much follow the rules,” he said, slipping away.

Spike sniffed the air. He caught the overpowering stench of medicine, disinfectant, and death. Then something hit him. He brought in more oxygen. There it was. Buffy! She was here. . . or had been at least. He briskly followed her scent of vanilla.

Finally it became stronger. The warm pictures disappeared, only meeting blank walls. He turned the corner and came upon a huddled Buffy. Glory wasn’t far away. The hell god clutched her curls with distress.

“Ugh, I can’t . . . Not now, mummy's talking!Wriggling, piling, prowling, crawling, clowning, cavorting, doing it over and over and over and over until someone's gonna sit down on their tuffet and make this birthing stop!” Glory cried.

Spike scrunched up his face in confusion. Then he turned his attention toward Buffy. She was the most important thing. He knelt by her side. She looked up at him, dazed.

“Buffy, luv?” He touched her cheek. “You all right?”

It took a moment, but then recognition lit up in her eyes. She clung to him.

“Something’s wrong,” Buffy whimpered.

“What’s wrong? Tell me and I’ll make it better.”

Buffy moaned and writhed as if in pain. She lifted her hand, coated in blood. Oh, he could smell it now. Blood, taking over the sweet vanilla shampoo she used. Where was she . . .? Oh no!

Redness coated between Buffy’s legs. Not this, please not this! Spike shakily scooped her up.

“Everything will be all right,” he told her.

“We need to get her downstairs. There’s no one up here that takes care of this sort of thing,” a male voice said.

Spike’s head swiveled. A man with brown hair stood there. Glory was nowhere in sight.

“Who are you?” Spike asked.

“Name’s Ben. I know Buffy.”

There was no time for questions. They hurriedly got into the elevator. Nurses wheeled her away. Spike was left empty handed, coldness freezing his heart. For a moment he didn’t know what to do. Then it occurred to him that Joyce needed to know what was going on. Luckily he had recently grabbed a handful of change from someone at the Bronze. He used the payphone to call the house. No one answered. He flipped through the phonebook and found the number for the gallery. The conversation was short and direct. Joyce promised to be there in a matter of minutes.

Spike paced back and forth near the front entrance until Joyce arrived. She called Buffy’s friends first. Then she dragged him off to the waiting room. He reluctantly sat, but his leg twitched. Joyce took his hand and squeezed it. Neither said anything.

After what seemed like hours, a doctor approached them. He looked tired and drained.

“Are you Mrs. Summers?”

Joyce stood. “Yes, I am. How is my daughter?”

“She’s going to be fine.”

“And the baby?” Spike asked. He clutched the arms of the green plastic chair.

“Fine also. Although Buffy is going to have to take it easy from now on. She needs to understand that she can’t exert herself in her condition.”

Joyce let out a sigh.

“Can I see her?” Spike asked.

The doctor eyed Spike. “Are you family?”

Spike opened his mouth to answer but Joyce beat him to it.

“He’s the father.”

Spike’s eyes widened in shock. She knew.

“Then, yes, you can see her right now. I’ll take you to her,” the doctor said.

Spike hesitated. Joyce smiled. “Go on, Spike.”

He nodded and followed the good doc.

+ + +

Xander’s mouth hung open. He had just arrived. Just in time to hear . . . No, he had to have heard wrong. Spike plus father didn’t go together. It was impossible.

+ + +

Buffy sensed him enter the room and opened her eyes. She was surprisingly happy to see him. He came to her side, settling in the visitor chair.

“How you feel?” the vampire questioned.

She didn’t answer his question directly.

“Spike. . .? We could have lost her tonight,” she whispered.

Spike made a move to take her hand but then drew back. “But we didn’t.” He slid his hand under the covers to lie on her stomach instead. “Can’t stand the thought of some nasty getting the best of you or the nibblet. I’ll patrol from now on. No benefits necessary.”

Buffy put her hand over his. He met her gaze with wonder.

“Spike, how did you know where to find me?”

He shrugged. “Don’t rightly know. Just an inkling.”

She nodded. The baby pushed up against Spike’s hand. Spike seemed close to tears.

“She’s something. Is she always this active?”

Buffy swallowed. “Mostly when she senses her daddy.”

She knew he would understand. She was letting him in, accepting him. Not as a lover, but as a partner. She wanted him around not only as a fighter, but also as a father.

___________________________________________________
Chapter 13

He must have heard wrong. Maybe his ears were being affected by some kind of spell, like when Willow made Giles go blind. There just wasn’t any way that . . . The whole world would have tilted off its axes if. . . He couldn’t even think it.

Xander watched Spike exit the hospital room. He should have thrown the vampire against the wall and demanded answers. It wasn’t like the bleached menace could fight back. Instead he stayed put, waiting until Spike walked out of sight. He was just in too much stunned shock.

“Oh, Xander, I didn’t know you were here.”

Xander turned to face the pleasant voice. He forced a smile at Mrs. Summers. He had always liked Joyce. She made him feel welcome in her house at all times, unlike his actual residence.
“Why don’t you go visit Buffy? I can wait,” Joyce offered.

He shook his head. “No, I couldn’t possibly.”

“I insist. I’ll be here for hours anyway.”

So that was how Xander ended up in Buffy’s room right after Spike. He could have asked Joyce if what she had said was correct; but why when he could ask his friend directly. He knew that his fears were nonsense fabrications. There just wasn’t any chance that . . . She’d laugh at him for his foolishness. Maybe it was even a joke. Joyce had a sense of humor, same as her daughter. Get back at funny Xander for always doing the teasing.

Buffy lay in bed, small except for the bulge over her stomach. Her hand rested over the blanket covering the rise. He swallowed hard at the sight. Oh God, there could be a demon spawn inside there. How could Buffy possibly . . .? Evil images invaded his brain. Snyder in a tutu, Snyder in a tutu.

A bright grin came to Buffy’s lips. How could she be so cheerful when . . .? No. It wasn’t true, so she could smile. The smile was a good thing, keep smiling, Buffy.

“Hey.”

Did she say something? She’s waiting for a reply. Um . . .

“Did you and Spike have sex?” Oh my God! Did he just blurt that out!?

The grin disappeared. The slayer looked around for an escape. There was none, seeing as she was incapacitated.

“Did Spike tell you we . . . ?” Buffy demanded.

“I overheard your mom . . . She said Spike was the . . . “ He still couldn’t get it out.

“No.” She paused. “Spike and I haven’t had sex.”

He let out a sigh of relief. He knew it. This whole thing was some works of his overactive imagination. Joyce must have said something that rhymes with father. What rhymes with father? Lather. Rather. That didn’t make sense.

“I’m sorry, Buffy. I really thought I heard . . .” Buffy spoke at the same time. He stopped when he heard her say the word father followed by Spike.

“We haven’t. . . had sex. But Spike is the father.”

“I know about the birds and the bees. Last time I checked, Buff, sex was a given when a baby is involved.”

Buffy let out a fit of manic laughter. She couldn’t stop. She kept it up until tears accompanied it.

“Gotta get used to it, I guess. Common knowledge goes kablooey on the hellmouth. Some monks decided I’m the perfect vessel for some mystical key thing that opens doors. They combined Spike and my DNA to form a little girl out of it.” This seemed to make Buffy laugh harder.

People often say things make them sick. Xander’s stomach twisted up in knots. He literally felt like tossing his cookies over the situation. He averted his gaze from his best friend. He heard her laughter cease, and all he heard were choking sobs.

“Please don’t be mad at me,” she pleaded. “That’s why I lied about Riley. I knew you’d do this. You can’t even look at me now.”

The thing was he wasn’t mad. Not at her anyway. He forced his eyes back. He stared at her crumpled face and he understood. She hadn’t planned this, she had been thrown into it against her will. Poor Buffy. What she must be going through.

“I’m sorry,” Xander whispered. She probably thought he was apologizing for his actions. But he was sorry for the monks doing this to her. He was sorry for her being pregnant. He was sorry for Riley dying. He was sorry for her having a part of Spike inside her. Mostly he was sorry for the fact that he could look in her eyes, but he couldn’t look down at her baby.

Buffy reached out to him. He hugged her gently.

+ + +

Willow stared from her bed in silence as Xander ranted. She knew he needed to get this out without interruption.

“I can’t believe this! Spike! ‘Spike’! The vampire that tried to kill us is the father of Buffy’s kid! How could God, or whatever is up there, do this to Buffy?”

The witch opened her mouth. Xander continued to pace frantically in front of her seat.

“She’s going to have to look upon the face of a monster every time she kisses her daughter.”

Okay, now that was a little too much. Willow stood up. She took a step toward him. “Xander, I don’t think –“

“No, Will! That is exactly what is going to happen. Buffy saved the world countless times and the damn Holy Spirit is repaying her by impregnating her with evil.”

Oh, Goddess, please give me strength. She had to force herself not to use her powers in order to get him to sit down and calm himself. He was being irrational and overdramatic.

“Xander. . .” She spoke softly and slowly. “The powers only interfere when it is necessary. This must be the best thing for Buffy otherwise they’d do something. Or, maybe Buffy wants this. Ever think of that?”

He didn’t seem to hear her. He turned to face her. “We can do something! ‘You’ can do something. You’re a witch. All you have to do is a spell.”

Willow shook her head. Huh? Where was Tara when you needed her? Tara had a calming affect on people. Or Giles. Giles would be good.

“You could-could take the thing out of her. You don’t have to destroy it. Transform it into something else. If the monks could do it you can.”

He stepped over to stand near the door. “There has to be a book at the Magic Shop. Or-or, on the net. Come on, we need to do research.”

Willow held up her right hand. “Hey. Hey, hold on a minute!” This was getting out of control. “I’m going to go talk to Buffy about this first. We’re not doing anything until we get her permission.”

Nodding, Xander said in a rush, “Yeah, all right.”

“Why don’t you stay here?” Willow gestured to Tara’s and her dorm room. “I’ll-I’ll be back in a jiffy.”

Willow left him, wishing she had a lock on the outside of the door. He was in no state to venture out into the public. She hurried off in the direction of Sunnydale Memorial. Please, Buffy, be the slayer and know how to handle this situation.

Finally she arrived at Buffy’s hospital room. She wished she had a car. It took more time than she wished to get there. She took a deep breath and walked in. Buffy sat on the bed, flipping through daytime television. Apparently soap-operas and talk shows didn’t satisfy her needs. Buffy pushed the power button and the screen went black.

“Will, thank God! I’m so totally bored. The doctors won’t let me leave even though I feel fine. Stupid hospitals,” Buffy said in greeting. “So, tell me about the outside world of the healthy. Where I belong, by the way.” The last part had an edge of bitterness.

Willow fidgeted. She didn’t want to burden Buffy with Xander-troubles. The young woman had just recovered from a traumatic encounter with a Hell God. Buffy might insist that she was fine but Willow knew that doctors knew best.

The slayer sat up straighter. “Willow, you have a ‘something is wrong’ face. Please spit it out.”

“It’s Xander. He’s acting crazy,” Willow spilled.

“Evil possessed crazy? Or Dracula control crazy?”

Shaking her head, the red-head said, “No. ‘Spike is the father of Buffy’s baby, and Buffy needs to be saved’ crazy.”

Buffy banged her bead backwards against the wall. “You know then?”

“Oh yeah, definite yes. Xander repeated it over and over again. Then he pleaded denial, then went off about how the ‘thing’ had to be disposed of for your own good,” Willow explained with a frown.

Before Willow knew it, Buffy moved over to the side of the mattress. She swung her legs over the side and then stood up.

“Where’d they stash my clothes?”

“Hey, Buffy, what are you doing?”

“Leaving,” she said simply. She glanced around in search of her garments. She let out a frustrated sound when she couldn’t find them. “Think you could magic something? Something nice but sill fits?”

The exact spell that was needed popped into Willow’s mind. She felt her fingers tingle with energy. She took in a calming breath to squash the powerful flow.

“This isn’t such a good idea. The doctors told you to stay a little longer,” Willow said. She felt like her high-school self again. The ever faithful and common-sense Willow.

“I feel fine. Slayer recovery, remember. . . I have to leave. I can’t take the chance . . .”

Just then footsteps neared and a moment later a nurse made her presence known. The nurse’ smile vanished as she took in the sight of an empty bed and Buffy standing next to it.

“Miss Summers, you really should lay down and rest.”

Buffy reluctantly did as requested. What else could she do? Knock the woman unconscious? Even though Willow suspected her best friend was tempted to do so.

+ + +

What was taking Willow so long? He couldn’t wait for her. Something needed to be done NOW. He couldn’t let Buffy live with that ‘thing’ inside her any longer.

He went over to the phone and picked it up. He dialed the only one who would understand the urgent need.

“Giles, meet me at the magic shop. It’s concerning Buffy.”

Chapter 14

It is well known that vampires have excellent hearing. Spike had better ears than many of his kind, and that was how he could hear Willow and Buffy far before he reached the room. He was originally going to go back to the cemetery but stopped halfway down the sewer system. He knew that he couldn’t stand leaving Buffy in that place. What if Glory suddenly showed up again? No, he had to stay nearby.

“Why didn’t you do some Jedi mind-trick on her?” Spike smiled as the slayer’s voice filtered into the air. He loved her voice even when she was fiery hot with anger.

“I can’t just mess with people’s minds.” Willow, Spike recognized.

“When my baby is concerned YES you can!”

Huh? Wait a tic. Spike increased his pace. Vampires also have great speed.

“I have to get back to Xander,” Willow said.

“And I’m coming with you,” Buffy insisted. “Screw the damn nurses and their hawk-like watchery-ness.”

Spike burst in. “What the bloody hell is going on?” He pointed to the door. “I caught a snippet of things down the hall. What do you mean you’re leaving?”

His jaw set as Buffy got out of bed. She steadily stood up. “See, I’m good to go. Xander’s going to try and change our daughter back into a bright green ball,” Buffy said.

“Actually, no. He said he’d change it into something pretty,” Willow corrected.

“What could he possibly. . . ? I’m not going to have her transform into a bouquet of flowers, Will!”

Without saying a word, Spike scooped Buffy up. She gave a squeak of surprise and then clung to his neck tightly. He carried her out into the vacant hallway. Willow followed.

“I can walk, you know,” Buffy said with a pout. Oh, how he wanted to get that lip. How cute she was in her little hospital gown too. He took in a deep breath to calm himself as she wriggled in his arms.

They almost got to the doors. Almost. But then the receptionist got up from her desk.

“Excuse me . . .” That was as far as the woman got.

The vampire spun around. He let his face shift into the hideous features of a monster. The stunning blue of his eyes became gold. He felt his teeth elongate and he displayed them proudly to the pest standing in their way. She didn’t scream or run away. Instead she just stood there, frozen, gaze straight ahead. The group sneaked out the electronic doors.

“I hope you didn’t break her,” Buffy commented.

They traveled quickly through town toward the Sunnydale University dorms. Spike would have gone faster if Willow hadn’t been with them. She actually had good endurance for a human. Finally the three arrived. Willow swung the door open and peeked in at the unoccupied space.

“Uh oh,” Willow said.

Buffy laid her head back against Spike and closed her eyes. “Why is it, Will, that I see you use your magic all the time when it isn’t needed? But now that it is without a shadow of a doubt, you hold back? Huh?”

Willow was at a loss for words.

Spike tightened his hold on the slayer in his arms. His demon raged within, begging to leash out upon the world. The whelp better reconsider his plan or he would be very sorry. There were ways around the chip that the scoobies hadn’t thought of.

Giles’s head throbbed. He never wanted to put his glasses back on and face the world. He wished he could fall into a hole somewhere and never have to come out.

“I’ve said it three times. You heard it the first time. Buffy is having Spike’s-“

Giles held up a hand. “Dear lord, all right! That’s bloody enough!”

“And so you know what we must do. We have to get rid of it. She can’t do it the medical way so we have to take magical action,” Xander reasoned.

“You do not understand the repercussions . . . The child is a manifestation of the key.”

A great part of Giles wanted to give into Xander’s plan. The thought of the vary thing they fought against growing inside his slayer was sickening. But he knew that the key was an important energy and the fate of the world depended on its safety. Giles would do anything, allow anything, or sacrifice anything for the greater good. He had been ingrained to do so as a watcher.

Xander became excited. Giles frowned. This was no trifle matter, and the boy acted like he had come up with a way to earn ten million dollars.

“See, that’s where the brilliance of my plan comes in. We transform it into something else. No harm can come from that.”

“And what would you suggest? We change it into a center piece? A great work of art perhaps?” Giles’s voice dripped with sarcasm.

“How about a shiny skeleton key? Glory would never look for an actual key,” Xander said, grinning.

Giles stood up. He thrust his glasses back onto his face. He opened his mouth to decline Xander’s ‘brilliant’ plan. But then he suddenly reconsidered. The idea actually was a good one. Glory wouldn’t come searching for an actual key. If worse came to worse, they could always change its form once again, throwing her off.

“Xander, grab the Book of Mutations and Glamour. I’ll check the Ancient Alterations,” Giles found himself saying.

The expression on Xander resembled that of someone who had one first place in a competition.

The two men were into over a half hour of research when Giles came across something helpful. He scanned the passage. It was exactly what they needed.

He began to read more thoroughly.

Spell of Metamorphism

Ingredients-

Butterfly wings

Blood of the vampire

An item or picture to replicate

Ashes

Black candles

Uses-

To transform an object into an exact duplication of an item (or illustration of such item). All aspects of the original item will be vanquished.

Giles never read on to the actual spell incantation. He lifted his head. Xander was completely engrossed in his own text.

“Stop right now!” Giles demanded.

Xander glanced up, confused.

“I can’t allow this.”

“But-“

Giles slammed the Ancient Alterations shut. “I can’t believe I was going to go through with this. Xander, think for a minute what this would mean. This child would no longer be anything that it is now.”

“Isn’t that the point?” Xander asked. “To eliminate another bleached one from running rampant upon the land of good?”

“Do you love Buffy?”

Xander’s brown eyes widened. “Of course. That’s why I’m doing this.”

“I’m assuming that you have learned how children are created. Buffy is the key’s mother.”

“Yeah. And Spike is the father.” Xander apparently still didn’t get it. He stared at the older man blankly.

“If we were to obliterate everything this key is now, yes the Spike part would disappear, but we would be doing away with a part of Buffy as well. Could you live with yourself after that?”

It took a moment for that to sink in. His face went white, as if the life had drained out of him. “I-I hadn’t-“

“You didn’t think of that? Of course not. Neither did I at first. We let our loathing of Spike get in the way. “

Just then the bell for the Magic Box tinkled. Buffy flew into the store. She halted dead in the middle of the floor. She surveyed the scene of books fearfully.

“You didn’t . . .? Please tell me you didn’t?” Buffy questioned. It was directed at Giles. He knew it meant ‘Please tell me you weren’t going to agree with Xander’.

Giles got to his feet and faced her. He took in the woman he had come to love like a daughter. She was radiant, hospital gown, unkempt locks and all. How could he have even contemplated preventing a piece of her to spread? This child could only bring goodness and light.

“No,” he softly confirmed.

Buffy sagged with relief. “You-You stopped him?”

There was no way he could confess to almost going through with it. Yet he couldn’t lie. Luckily Xander spoke instead.

Xander stepped forward. “I’m sorry. Giles helped me understand what I was doing. As much as I hate Spike I couldn’t kill anything that is part of you. I love you, Buff.”

Buffy’s gaze fell on Xander. His words did nothing to soften her.

Spike burst in then, followed by Willow. The witch fought to catch her breath.

“Phew, I need to join the gym or something if this keeps up,” Willow remarked. “Oh, are we in time? Please tell me we are in time?”

Spike began to come at Xander with a vengeance. Buffy held out her hand to stop the vampire. She shook her head.

“It’s over,” Buffy said. “It’s over.” The last part was a whisper.

“Buffy-“ Xander began.

“ ‘It’s over’,” Buffy repeated. She turned toward Spike. She glanced down at her half-nakedness. “Take me home so I can change.”

Chapter 15

Buffy pouted as she watched Spike spin around, his duster flowing around his form. It looked like he was having fun. If she didn’t look like Moby Dick she’d be having fun as well. She felt lazy and unused. Her Aerobics for Mothers to Be video just didn’t cut it. Slayers were meant for the rush, which leg lifts didn’t provide.

Spike had to go and smirk, reminding her even more what she was missing out on. He back-handed his opponent, making the vamp careen backwards toward where Buffy sat on a tombstone. She stood up. She knew she shouldn’t, but the enticement was so great. He was going to kill her. She whipped out her stake and plunged it into the foe. The vampire crumbled to dust.

“What the bleeding hell do you think you’re doing, slayer?” Spike demanded. “We agreed that all you’d do was watch. You shouldn’t even be out here at all.”

Oh my God, he looked delicious. She licked her lips. He was all bad-ass and fiery. Her kill had filled her with excitement. She itched for more. He seemed like a good source, given her circumstances.

“Come on, Spikey. A tinsy wincey spar? I’m all hot for some action.”

Did that sound like a come-on? It did to her. Was pregnancy making her crazy?

Spike set his jaw. “Not gonna chance it. Not meaning to I could jostle the bite-sized one too much. No.”

She fell back on the best tactic she had: cuteness. She remembered their engagement, when he went for her lip. She gave him some now as temptation.

He shook his head. “Not gonna happen.”

Buffy stopped right in front of him. She was sure he could feel her heightened breath on his sensitive skin. Her heartbeat was hammering inside her chest too.

“What isn’t going to happen?” Buffy whispered.

Spike took a step back. “Uh, Buffy . . . “

She gazed up at him with child-like innocence. “Yes, Spike?”

“I-I think you’re not thinking straight right now. Let’s get you home.”

This must be that sensual arousal she read about in her pregnancy book. Some women just got horny. Rational had simply jumped out the window for the moment. All Buffy could think about was how sexy he looked in the moonlight. His hair glimmered and his shadows cast beautifully over his well-sculpted face.

He took in a deep breath. “I don’t know how much longer I can –“

Buffy reached out and ran her hands over his tight, black t-shirt. She could feel his hard chest underneath. The sensation brought back images of running her fingers down his bare flesh. False memories, she reminded herself. But the thought only made her long to make them real.

“Don’t try to fight it,” Buffy said.

His blue eyes glazed over. “This is a dream. I’ve dreamed this before.”

She smiled. She slipped his duster off his arms. The leather crumpled to the grass. Spike stood rigid. He must be frightened that I’m playing games, Buffy thought.

Buffy took his face in her hands and directed his eyes upon her. “Tell me you want me.”

“I always want you,” he told her heavily.

“Tell me you love me.”

His eyes swam with hope. “I love you.”

She smashed his mouth down on hers. It was hard and powerful. Buffy ground herself into him. For the first time she was actually glad none of her pants fit. She hissed as Spike slipped underneath her skirt. Good vampire, just like that. Keep it up and I’ll give you a treat.

Xander continued on ahead of her. “She’s got to be out here somewhere. Joyce said she went patrolling with Spike.”

Anya sighed, clearly bored. “We could be doing something way more interesting. Like that game we-“ Xander shot her a look that meant ‘Not now’. “Why are we doing this again?”

“I need to talk to Buffy. We’re going through a tough time right now. I thought maybe I could lure into spending time with me with donuts and coffee tomorrow morning.”

Folding her arms, Anya said,” You never take me out.”

Xander grabbed his girlfriend’s hand. “I’ll take you out for a nice meal, I promise. After I settle things with Buffy, okay?”

The ex-demon brightened. “Deal.”

They went on through the cemetery. All of a sudden Anya halted. Xander glanced back in confusion.

“I hear something,” Anya said. “Do you hear. . .? Oh. . . Oh my God! Somebody is having sex.”

“Ahn, I’m sure nobody is having sex. I mean, it’s dark. Who would venture out late at night to do it . . . in the cemetery . . . where no one will see . . . Okay maybe-“

“Oh Spike, you are the big bad!”

Xander’s eyes bugged out in horror. Oh no! Oh, oh no! This thing with Buffy got worse and worse.

Anya took a few steps forward. Xander grabbed her arm. “What are you doing?”

“I want to see,” she said.

“No!”

“But-“

“Buffy. Hmm-ugh.” Xander closed his eyes. Spike.

“We are not going to spy on them. We’re going to go get help,” Xander said.

“She doesn’t need help. She’s having a very good time. Look.” Anya pushed Xander forward. He quickly shielded his eyes.

Spike lay on his back in all his naked glory. Buffy appeared fully clothed, but implications spoke against. Her pastel skirt spilled over their hips as they moved. Buffy had to upper-hand, riding him with frenzy. They let out moans and cries of pleasure.

Xander had only taken it in for a second. A second too late.

“You bit me!” she accused.

He stared up at her, dazed. “Well, yeah. Vampire, remember?”

She pointed a finger at him. “You drank from me! How could you?” She searched around for her panties.

“It’s how it’s done.”

“Not how I do it,” she spat.

Spike lifted himself up on his elbows. “Vampires bite. It’s a sign of affection.”

“’I love you. Can I have your hemoglobin?’ ‘Oh, why sure. Take it all’.’”

“I’d never hurt you, Buffy. You know that.”

Buffy found her undergarment. She pulled it on. She spun around, hovering over his sprawled body.

“No, I really don’t. This display actually reinforces it. You are a vampire. Vampires do violent things.”

Spike swiftly rose. He got in her face. “What was this? I thought it was an act of trust.”

“I could never trust a monster.”

His eyes darkened.

Buffy touched her stomach. “You want to know what this was? A mistake. I can’t afford to make anymore.”

She turned around and stomped off.

Chapter 16

If someone was going to vote on one thing Buffy did better than anything else it might be running away. During the journey all she had to concentrate on was the pump of her muscles, the inhale and exhale of her breath. But when she reached wherever she was heading, well then everything she had been dissociating from came back.

She ended up at Giles’s apartment. She didn’t know why exactly, maybe to confess her sins. As she came to a halt, her hand came up to touch the mark Spike’s fangs had left. It had almost closed completely. She realized that he had barely nicked her. Actually, looking back on it, the bite had felt like a hickey, pleasurable. And it came to her why she had come to Giles. She needed for him to wipe out her uncertainties. He was good at hammering the slayer code into her brain: vampires bad, slayers good.

Buffy hadn’t expected to find a whole army waiting for her. She froze at their dire and concerned expressions. Except Anya, the ex-demon seemed annoyed.

Xander stood up from his seat in the recliner. “Buff, I uh . . . saw you . . . uh. . . you were . . . with . . .”

Buffy swallowed and found it unable to speak.

“Oh come on,” Anya said. “You were boinking Spike. I don’t see what such the big deal is, though.” She crossed her arms.

Xander shot his girlfriend a look. “It is Spike. Spike is a vampire.”

Shrugging, Anya said,” Well, I’m happy for Buffy. Vampires make wonderful lovers. They have the stamina of more then ten men and the muscles of –“

“Ahn!” He focused back on Buffy. “We don’t want you getting hurt.”

Willow took Tara’s hand. “We’re worried, Buffy. We’ll love you no matter what, but . . . We think you might need help.”

Buffy surveyed the whole gang. Her eyes landed on Giles, the reaction she really cared about. He was clearly uncomfortable, but to her relief not disappointed.

“I need help,” Buffy declared.

“I told you she needed help,” Xander told Anya. Buffy tried to shut out the other voices.

Giles’s wise, warm eyes met hers. “What is the matter? Explain it to me.” His voice soothed her.

“Things used to be so clear. Now everything is . . . gray.” She articulated her point by doing a few hand gestures. “I don’t know what the right thing to do is, or even what the wrong thing is. I’m lost, Giles, and I can’t find my way back.”

Giles opened his mouth, but Buffy continued. “I also feel so . . . nothing. I don’t feel anything. I know I love my daughter. I love my mom. I love you, Giles.” She gazed up at him, as if she was small and he had all the answers. “But I can’t express it the way I know I should.”

“Are you serious?” The statement conveyed total shock.

“Serious to the amount of ten. I need help to find myself again.”

He thought for a moment. “There is a quest . . . in the watchers’s diaries. A journey to find answers. It might take a day or two, and we’d have to drive out to the desert.”

Buffy looked around the room at her friends. Everyone looked back at her, waiting.

“I can’t leave when Glory . . .”

“This might strengthen you, Buffy,” Tara said.

“Yeah,” Willow chimed in. “You can come back all epiphanied and ready to kick her ass.”

“I agree,” Giles said. “If you feel that you need some sort of self discovery or, or enlightenment then I support this a hundred percent.”

So it was settled. Buffy decided to go to the desert. She didn’t know what to expect but Giles seemed to think that it was the solution to everything. She hoped it would clarify all the conflicting thoughts that were battling in her brain, most of them having to do with a certain bleached-blonde.

“Hello, kitty,” Buffy greeted the cat.

The mountain lion wandered off without glancing back. Buffy felt compelled to follow it. She wondered if this animal was her spirit guide. She remembered that the Native Americans believed in that sort of thing.

They traveled a long distance. There were hardly any landmarks, just the same seldom bush now and then. The sun began to set, chilling the air. The mountain lion went up to a large rock and stopped. Buffy went over and sat down upon it.

“I know this place,” Buffy whispered.

All of a sudden a giant fire burst up in front of her. Buffy watched the flames with great expectation. A form emerged in their depths. Buffy concentrated to make out that it was a dark-skinned woman with a painted face.

“I know you. You’re the first slayer,” Buffy said.

“This is a form. I am the guide,” a ghostly voice answered.

Oh. So the kitty wasn’t the guide. This spirit, or whatever, was.

“I have a few questions. I want to know about my role as the slayer. I feel like I’ve lost my way.”

The First Slayer danced before the current chosen one. “You feel distanced from things. You must connect with your surroundings.”

“How do I do that?”

“This is no fault but your own. You have subconsciously stepped back from fear. Shed this fear: love, forgive, risk the pain. Only then will you be brought to your gift.”

Buffy blinked. A gift?

“Huh?” She paused. “Love will bring me to my gift?”

“Yes.”

“I’m getting a gift? Or do you mean I have a gift to give someone else?” Buffy questioned.

The First Slayer stilled in the midst of orange glow. “Death is your gift.”

“Death . . .” Buffy barely breathed.

“Is your gift,” the guide finished.

Buffy shook her head. “No!” she protested. “Death is ‘not’ a gift. I’ve seen people die. I know that it is not a gift to anyone.”

“There is no life without death. Your answer has been answered.”

The First Slayer flickered until she faded away. The fire slowly slipped along after her. Buffy remained on the rock for a long time. She bowed her head, closing her eyes. She was even more confused than before she came.

“Buffy, luv, you do know it is after ten.”

Her pillow rumbled with the words. Funny.

“Mmm, don’t wanna,” she mumbled.

The pillow rumbled again and she heard laughter. A hand combed through her hair. She surrendered to the morning and lifted her head. Her eyes met the shocking blues of Spike’s. He smiled at her and she smiled back. Of course, he was her pillow. No wonder it felt so comfy.

“Want some breakfast?” Spike suggested.

“Waffles. Or funny-faced pancakes sound good.”

He kissed the top of her head. “Anything for my girls.”

He threw off the blankets and got up from the bed. She eyed his bare ass with appreciation. He looked back at her with a lifted eyebrow.

“Gonna get up, pet?” Spike playfully scolded.

“I’d rather stay and watch your naked cute butt,” she said.

He chuckled. He grabbed her, forcing her from the mattress. She groaned in protestation. Soon she was dressed in a blue silk robe, and ready to venture downstairs.

They entered the kitchen to find a fifteen year-old at the island. The girl looked up from her bowl of cocoa-puffs.

“Finally,” she huffed.

“Dawn, your father was going to fix yummy pancakes,” Buffy said.

Dawn shoveled in another mouthful of cereal. She spoke with a full mouth. “I’m not waiting until eleven for breakfast. You guys sleep in so late. I don’t get it; you went to bed at like ten last night.”

The adults shared an amused look. Dawn rolled her eyes. She was no longer a child and knew what the look meant.

“Ewww!” the teen shrieked. “I get it. That’s so gross! God, why can’t you be like Janice’s parents and do it when I’m away?”

Buffy frowned.

“Aren’t Janice’s parents going through a divorce?” Spike asked.

“Y-Yeah,” Dawn confessed.

Spike smirked. He grabbed his wife around the waist, tugging her flush against him. “See, that’s where Janice’s parents went wrong. It’s all about the sex.”

“Spike!” Buffy reprimanded.

“Oh, please, I’m not a little girl anymore!” Dawn said. “I know about the sex. Hello, Aunt Anya baby-sat me.”

Spike reached over and ruffled his daughter’s hair. “You’ll always be my nibblet.”

Buffy’s head shot up. She sucked in a breath. Things slowly came into focus. She was back in the desert. She wrapped her arms around herself.

“Are you all right?” Giles asked.

Buffy stood up. “Let’s go.”

“Did you get your answers?”

She paused. “Actually, yes, I think I did.”

Chapter 17

The door burst violently open. Spike’s head whipped to the side.

“Oh, you,” he said with little concern.

Xander stalked into the dim crypt, slamming the door behind him. He glared at the vampire. “I saw you . . . in the cemetery with Buffy.”

“Yeah?” Spike dug into his pocket and got out a pack of cigarettes. He tapped a stick out and lit it with his Bic lighter. He took a long drag on the nicotine and blew it in Xander’s direction. “Don’t see how it is any business of yours.”

“It is my business because Buffy's my friend ... She’s pregnant and her hormones are haywire... well, it's affected her, and you're taking advantage of her.”

Spike leaned against the sarcophagus. “I’m the kid’s da. It is natural for the mother and father to-“He narrowed his eyes at the other man. “Get intimate.”

Disgusted, Xander said,” The baby may have your DNA but you are alluding yourself to think that a monster can be a real parent.”

Xander grabbed the front of Spike’s black t-shirt. He tugged threateningly. Spike just chuckled.

“Buffy has lots of friends and we are all willing to protect her in any means necessary. If that means killing you, that’s just a bonus,” Xander warned.

Yet again the door flew open. This time a funny little creature that resembled a hobbit entered. His beady eyes took in Spike and Xander. A whole group of these leprosy demons entered behind the first. Xander immediately let go of Spike.

“Gentleman, I’m sorry to intrude, but I wondered if I could spare a moment of your time.”

Spike turned toward Xander. “Friends of yours?”

The demon punched Xander in the stomach.

“Guess not,” Spike declared. He discarded his cigarette and began to fight the brigade.

It didn’t take long for Xander to fall unconscious. Spike put up a good go but there were too many of them. They were dumb beings but they had tremendous might. They closed in, swarming around him until he hardly had room to move. Spike continued to struggle as a demon prepared to tie his hands and legs.

Her mind was a chaotic mess, waging a war over the new data. Could the dream have been a manifestation from the spirit guide? Could it have been a true vision of the future? Death is your gift. Buffy wasn’t even going to pretend to overlook the most obvious meaning to that, not after the episode she saw.

Spike was a vampire. Spike was therefore dead. Spike was her gift. At least, with what she knew that was what made the most sense. Either that or she was going to die. Or . . . Tears threatened to spill. She would have a stillbirth.

“Buffy?”

Giles’s voice startled her. She looked around and noticed that they were in her driveway. Somehow she had blocked out the last half hour of their drive.

“Oh.” Buffy reached for the handle to the passenger door. She halted when her mentor laid a gentle hand on her shoulder.

“Are you alright?” he questioned.

“Oh, yeah. Peachy.” Death is my gift. Why shouldn’t I be okay? Why don’t you throw a party with balloons and streamers? I’m either going to shack up with a vampire, die, or . . . Her throat tightened.

“Did the guide reveal anything to disturb you?”

“I don’t want to talk about it until I have it all figured out,” she said.

He sighed. “Very well.”

Good ol’ Giles. She had the urge to hug him. She probably would have too if her mother hadn’t run out to greet them. It wasn’t a ‘welcome home’ display, Buffy knew at once. Something was wrong. She quickly got out of the car.

“Oh, Buffy, quickly come inside,” her mother said.

Buffy complied, not taking the time to ask questions. Her mother led her into the living room. Xander stood up, a little awkwardly, from the sofa. She noticed that he had a black eye and there were bruises up and down his arms.

“Buff, good thing you’re back. They got Spike,” Xander told her.

She didn’t have to ask who or why. Glory wanted Spike for information. Her eyes became unfocused as she felt the slayer take command.

“Grab some weapons,” she ordered Giles, who had come up behind her. “We have to. . .” Rescue him, Buffy thought.

“Kill him,” soldier slayer said out loud instead.

Would you really? Buffy-Buffy inquired.

If I have to, the slayer replied.

But he is the father of your daughter.

He might endanger so-called daughter by blabbing.

Spike wouldn’t do that.

He’s a vampire.

So? Vampires normally don’t love slayers. They don’t have chips shoved up their brain. They don’t impregnate women.

Slayer Buffy tuned out the girl.

“Think I can get you in one long strip?” Glory sang.

The goddess pulled his head back and sliced at his bared chest. He hollered in pain.

In all his vampiric years he had never felt a threat to his existence, not even when he had fought the slayers. He was so wrapped up in the glory of the dance that he never thought about the outcome. It didn’t really matter before. But now, hung from the ceiling by chains, helpless, he had more than enough opportunity to consider the possibility. He very well might not make it out of this one. And it scared him . . . because he had something to loose this time round.

He wondered what she looked like, his daughter. His lips twitched. He could picture her now, bright golden ringlets, just a little bit of a curl from his side of the family. He wondered if she’d have Buffy’s green eyes, or if she’d adopt his blue ones. Either would be right beautiful. He could even hear her childish laughter. Oh how he wanted to experience it for real.

Spike forced his eyes to slit wider, and they stringed with protest. He had to make an attempt to get out of here. He owed it to his daughter.

“Enough. I’ll tell you who the sodding key is,” he choked weakly.

She let him go, grinning. He wanted to smash her face in until she looked worse than he did, to make it so she would never grin like that again. He twisted at the chains that bound his hands.

“Yeah, okay, the key . . .”

Glory leaned forward.

“It’s that guy . . . on the TV.”

“On the television?” Glory stepped back. She frowned, uncertain.

“On the price show. What’s his name?”

“The price is right!” a demon minion shouted in triumph.

“Bob Barker!” Spike had overheard that this demon’s name was Jinx. He seemed to be Glory’s favorite.

“It’s not Bob Barker, you scabby morons. The vampire is lying to me. The key is new to this world, and Bob Barker is as old as grit.”

A chuckle escaped Spike. Okay, he thought, no more laughing; it hurt too much.

“Yeah . . . but it was fun. And guess what, bitch? I’m not telling you jack. You’re never gonna get your sodding key, cause you might be strong, but in our world, you’re an idiot.”

Glory glared. “I am a god.”

“The god of what? Bad home perms?” he threw back.

“Shut up!” She held her head as if his words caused her physically agony.

“Mark my words, the scoobies are going to kick your skanky, lopsided ass back to whatever place would take a cheap, whorish, fashion victim ex-god like you.”

Glory spun kicked him in the chest with tremendous force. His hands suddenly broke free and he tumbled to the floor, sliding into the door. It crashed off its hinges and he ended up in the hallway. Spike groaned as he scrambled up.

“Good plan, Spike,” he mumbled.

Go Buffy! Those SAT scores weren’t an accident.

Sure enough, Glory ended up being in the largest mansion in Sunnydale. The rotting demons met them at the door. Buffy made good use of her sword, decapitating the morons one by one. Adrenaline pumped through her veins and she reveled in it. It had been so long since she had been in battle. Giles and Xander circled her and she pouted at how they took the majority of assault. Oh come on! These guys weren’t any danger.

The elevator dinged and its door opened. Out spilled Spike. His battered body and ripped clothing made her gawk in horror. She evaded Giles and Xander, and made a path through the demons to get to his side.

“Buffy!” She ignored Giles’s warning.

Buffy knelt down beside Spike and scooped up his head. He groaned. She’d never seen him so messed up.

“Oh God, what did she do to you?” Buffy whispered.

She would have lifted him if Xander hadn’t come and beat her to it. She glanced around to discover that the room was devoid of any moving demon. They hurried out before another band of recruits could replace the fallen. Buffy kept beside Xander, her eyes glued to the beat-up vampire.

As soon as Spike was laid down in his crypt she demanded that the others leave.

“Do you think he told?” Xander questioned.

Buffy shook her head. “I’ll stay and find out.”

“You look tired. One of us could stay in your place,” Giles said.

She shook her head again. “No, it has to be me.”

Her friends reluctantly left her. Buffy kept vigil, intent on any indication that Spike was waking up. Her hands traveled over his bloody and blackened skin. Wetness accumulated when she found the hole in his stomach that looked like two fingers had forced their way inside.

“Buffy?” It was a weak moan.

She ran a thumb gently down his cheek. He let his left eye peer up, the better of the two. They gazed silently at each other. And Buffy knew. He had kept their secret. There was too much love there for anything else. Her lips wobbled.

He would have died for her- for their baby. How could she have doubted that? Maybe she hadn’t, deep inside her core. Maybe she had known.

“What you did was rather heroic,” she said.

Spike forced himself into a sitting position. He stared at her quizzically.

“I won’t forget it,” she added.

“I would never hurt you or the nibs. ‘Ever’. Even if I got this chip –“

She pressed two fingers to his chapped lips. She gently smiled and leaned down to press hers against them. It was sweet and chaste.

“Thank you.”

He seemed stunned.

“I invite you to be a part of the baby’s life . . . “She took a moment to breathe deeply. “As well . . . as well as mine.”

When he finally moved he wrapped his arms around her waist. Then he pressed his face against her bosom. It took her a moment to process that he was crying. He made no sound but she could tell by the shake of his shoulders. Her heart split open.

“Thank you,” he sobbed. “Thank you.”

Buffy closed her eyes.

Chapter 18

“Joan?” Buffy offered.

Spike snorted. “Bloody well not!”

“Why? I think Joan is a nice name.” Buffy pouted.

“Yeah, if you’re normal girl, which the baby is not.” The last part was said with emphasis.

Buffy sighed. She flipped through the book, scanning down the lists of names and their meanings. There were so many, there had to be one Spike and she could agree on.

“Anne?” Buffy suggested.

“Right good for a middle name. But not for a first. No, our kid deserves something special.”

Buffy thrust the book at him with frustration. “Here, you find one that suits your standards!”

He chuckled and began searching through the Baby Names paperback. Buffy watched him for a few moments, soon becoming bored. She leaned back against the headboard of his king-sized bed. She slid her hand over the silken sheets. The sensation brought many naughty thoughts. She squirmed. She looked back over at Spike. He was so engrossed in the book that he didn’t notice. She licked her lips.

“Dawn!”

“Huh? It can’t be dawn. Last time I checked it was only ten PM,” Buffy said, furrowing her brow.

“No, for a name. Dawn,” Spike enforced.

“Oh. Hmmm, Dawn. I like it,” she said.

He grinned. Oh, he had a cute smile when it was sincere.

“It’s perfect. She fills me with warmth like the sun,” he explained.

On cue, baby Dawn began to kick at Buffy’s ribcage. Buffy pressed her palm against the rhythm. Spike watched the ripples and then put his hand over the spot as well. The kicks grew more intense.

“Do you think she understands what is going on out here?” Buffy asked.

“I wouldn’t be surprised. We’re both pretty smart,” Spike said.

“You think I’m smart?”

“Course.”

She smiled. On impulse, Buffy tilted her head to lie on his shoulder. She moaned in contentment. She felt him stiffen and she wondered why.

“Buffy, what is this between us?” he questioned.

She lifted her head to look at him. “I don’t know.” Then she said more softly, “But I’d like to find out.”

He nodded, accepting the answer for now.

Buffy yawned. “I think I better get home. Would you mind walking me home?”

They both knew that he would have insisted on walking her home for her safety. The fact that she asked for his company meant something.

“Sure, pet.”

They were silent for half the walk. She grabbed his hand as they exited the cemetery. He glanced over in amazement.

“Do you want to go shopping with me tomorrow?” Buffy blurted.

“Whot? Why are you asking me to go to the mall with you? Wouldn’t Red be a better choice to gawk at shoes, makeup, and all the other tidbits you bints have far too much of already?”

Buffy laced their fingers. “Not the mall. I was going to shop for baby things. It occurred to me that I don’t have that much longer to get ready. I need to start fixing up a nursery.”

“Oh. All right then. What time were you thinking?”

“How about when the sun goes down tomorrow night? You can meet me at my house. I’m sure my mom would be glad to see you.”

“Sounds all right.”

“Okay,” she said brightly.

They came to a halt at the edge of her driveway. It felt weird yet nice to be this close to Spike. She was trying for the sake of their daughter to see if a relationship could work out. Surprisingly, she found that she actually ‘wanted’ it to. She wasn’t big on the touchy-feely that went with getting to know each other. She squeezed his hand before awkwardly letting go.

She looked down at the pavement. “I’ll, uh, see you tomorrow.”

“Yeah. Right,” he said.

She quickly headed inside. She felt his presence lingering out near his favorite tree. She went up to her room and looked down from the window. He gazed up and smiled before turning away.

Spike stepped into the house. He stuffed his hands into his duster pockets. He waited by the door and watched Mrs. Summers go upstairs to fetch her daughter. After a few moments Joyce returned.

“She’ll be down in a minute,” Joyce said.

Spike nodded.

“You should come around more often,” she added.

He hated to tell her that Buffy had revoked his invitation. Joyce probably would have asked why, and then that would have started a whole big mess he didn’t want to get into. Better to appreciate the good happenings of the moment and forget the past.

“Buffy told me what happened with Glory. I want to thank you for what you did,” Joyce sincerely said. “How are you feeling?”

He smiled. “Almost all patched up.”

“I’m glad to hear that.”

Their conversation was halted by footsteps. The vampire looked up to see Buffy at the top of the stairs. For a human the sight of her would have caused their breath to stop, for him it caused his to start. She looked . . . Was their a word to describe it? Ravishing? Glorious? . . . Effulgent? She wore a pastel colored flower skirt and white top that didn’t hide but rather complimented the protruding of her middle. Her makeup was subtle and made her face glow with radiance. Her hair seemed extra golden and laid over her shoulders in waves.

Did she purposely get dressed up for him? Was this a date? Nah, couldn’t be. Could it?

Buffy descended the stairs with a smile. She looped her arm with his. She leaned over and whispered in his ear,” Let’s get out of here before my mom sees your. . . predicament.”

He looked down and his eyes widened. He was hard. He had been so wrapped up in her beauty that he hadn’t felt it. He hid his crotch with the material of his coat. She giggled.

“Bye, Mom,” Buffy called.

“Have fun,” Joyce replied.

They stopped at Dairy Queen to get ice-cream. Buffy had the craving for something really chocolately. She ordered this oreo cookie dessert that was delicious. As she eyed Spike eat his own treat she had the urge to have a taste. She got up and went around to sit next to him on his side of the booth. He raised his eyebrow in confusion. She leaned over and kissed him. She delved her tongue in his mouth, swirling it around to every corner.

When she pulled back she said,” Mmm, tasty. I’ve never had a snicker blizzard.”

Their last stop was a furniture store. They went over to the crib section and surveyed them all over.

“How bout this one?” Spike suggested.

Buffy shrugged. “Okay.”

They all seemed the same to her. The one Spike preferred had a changing table that would come in handy, though.

“Oi, miss, do you have one of these boxed up?” he called to a sales clerk.

The clerk retrieved a box and they paid for it with Joyce’s credit card. Spike hoisted the box up into his arms. He offered to take it out and then bring the car around for Buffy.

“You have a sweet husband,” the cashier commented. “I’m lucky if mine puts down the toilet seat.”

“Oh, he’s not my husband.” She paused. “Yet.”

Spike was about to the electronic doors by then. He might not have heard her statement. She hoped with his vampiric hearing that he had.

“What?” Buffy asked.

“Cellar door,” he mumbled with a mouthful of donut.

“Huh?”

He sat up straighter in his seat. “It’s from this movie, Donnie Darko. It’s about this guy who sees weird stuff and . . . Hey, why don’t you come watch it tonight?”

Buffy shifted in her seat. She shut her new mothers magazine. “Uh, not tonight.”

Xander frowned. “Why not?”

“Because I’m going over to Spike’s tonight.”

His eyes bugged out. “You are telling me that you are turning down a movie night in a warm apartment to go see some vampire in a dank hole?”

“-Yeah.” She bit her lip.

He just stared.

“I’m thinking of dating him,” Buffy spilled.

Xander kept staring.

Anya skipped over. “Oh, congratulations. I’m so happy that things are working out for you.”

“Th-Thank you,” Buffy said.

Both women turned their eyes to fall on Xander. His mouth opened and closed like a fish. Buffy took in a deep breath and waited.

“Are you. . .? How . . .? I thought . . .?” Xander sputtered.

Anya frowned at her boyfriend.

Xander sighed. “Okay.”

Now it was Buffy’s turn to do the fish expression. “Okay?”

Xander nodded. “Y-Yeah. Just don’t expect me to do my snoopy dance over it.”

Buffy gawked.

Anya went over and kissed Xander on the nose before going back to stand behind the register. Xander mumbled a goodbye, got up, and left the store. He looked like he was in pain.

Buffy got to her feet and walked over to the counter. “Anya, what was that about?”

The woman grinned. “You owe me. A really good birthday gift maybe. I just saved you a lot of grief.”

“I’m with the huh? How?” Buffy asked.

“I know you and Spike have been spending a lot of time together recently. It was no mystery that you’d end up as a couple. I told Xander but he denied it. I convinced him I was right and he was about ready to go stake Spike. I mean really dust him.”

Buffy felt her heart squeeze. “How’d you stop him?”

“I warned him that if he did do away with Spike that I’d leave him. I also mentioned that you’d never forgive him.”

Buffy gestured to the table. “So back there, before, that was your doing? Xander handled my confession so well because you threatened to break up with him?”

“Pretty much,” Anya said.

The ding of the bell over the door alerted that another customer had entered. Anya perked up. “I have to go help the people with money. Why don’t you leave, be grateful, and ponder over what you can get me for my birthday? Something large and expensive.”

Buffy left the shop, shaking her head. She really did owe Anya one.

Chapter 19

She couldn’t study. She was supposed to be doing a practice test for her online History class. It should have been easy considering how comfortable she was, and the quietness of the atmosphere. The candlelight was dim, but with her acute slayer eyesight she could make out every word without eyestrain.

Buffy groaned. “I can’t concentrate,” she whined.

“Waz that, luv?” Spike glanced over from his own book. It was poetry to her surprise. But it made sense if you thought about it. Spike really was a gentle person when you peeled off the exterior layer.

“The dates keep jumbling up in my mind. Stupid history. Can you fill in this blank? Never forget- what? I’m racking my brain and just can’t think of it. Supposedly it happened in 1944.”

“D-Day,” Spike said immediately.

Buffy slammed the textbook shut. She tossed it to the crypt floor. “I give up!”

Her vampire companion just raised an eyebrow.

“I know I’m spazzing,” Buffy said. “But I can’t help it. My brain is so preoccupied.”

“What about?”

Her green eyes met his. “Promise you won’t laugh?”

He smiled. “Promise.”

“I’m worried. Sometime during this whole Glory thing eight months have gone by. I haven’t given myself time to prepare for giving birth.”

“Doubt a women is ever really ‘prepared’, luv?”

“But-But . . .” She pouted. “So many things could go wrong. I’m not ready. Can I just keep her inside me forever? It’s safer in my tummy anyway. She has a slayer shield.”

Spike reached behind her and began to rub her lower back. She moaned in pleasure, leaning into his touch. Oh, he had magic fingers. If she wasn’t all achy as of late she’d let those fingers do other magical things. More fun things.

“Now you’re being silly,” Spike said.

“Oh, you are just eager to get back to slim and trim Buffy so we can do naughty things,” she only half-teased.

His massage halted. “Won’t lie to you, I’m a horny man. I’d take you now if you’d let me, though. I’d take you no matter what. You’ll always be beautiful.”

Awww. Okay, was she actually tearing up over that? Damn hormones! Buffy leaned over to give him a tender kiss.

Buffy pulled back slightly. “What’s going to happen after?”

“Don’t know if I understand the question, pet. Could you elaborate?” Spike said.

“After Dawnie is born.” Buffy’s face beamed as she said her daughter’s name. The more she said it, the more she fell in love with it. Spike was a genius to suggest it.

“Still a mite confused. You’re going to be a mother, I’m going to be a father, Joyce will be the grandmother. . . “

“That’s not what I mean,” Buffy said in exasperation. “I mean with you. Are you going to stay in this scary bat cave?”

Spike put his hands behind his head and leaned back against the headboard of the bed. “It’s right nice. Why would I have to pack up and move?”

Buffy scrunched up her nose. “It smells, is dark, and ‘had dead people in it’,” she counted off.

“What’s your point?”

“We can’t bring our kid around this place. It’s just not right.”

“I could fix it up a bit. You know, watch those home decorating shows or whatnot,” Spike said.

She laid her head against his chest. His left hand snaked around her shoulders, holding her to him.

“I thought maybe you could come live with us- In the basement.” Really she wanted him to stay in her room but she was scared to suggest it. That would mean a definite commitment.

“You sure your mum would approve?”

“I think she would, yeah.”

He nodded. “Then I’ll consider it.”

She lifted up to press her lips to his again. “Thank you,” she whispered.

“Buffy, why are you up at this hour?” Joyce asked.

Buffy gave her mother a shy look. She’d been all over the house these past few hours, restless. “Did I wake you? I’m sorry. I can’t sleep. I . . .” She trailed off, wincing. Her hand pressed against the side of her tummy.

Mrs. Summers took in Buffy’s action. “How often?”

Buffy sighed. “Not very. Now and again for the past couple days. No biggie. I’ve read books. They all say that the contractions mean nothing until they come regularly.”

Joyce nodded in agreement. She took the slayer’s hand. “Come on, Buffy. Why don’t I fix us some hot cocoa?”

“But Mom . . . Aren’t you tired? Go back to sleep.”

“No, dear. I’ll never be able to drift back off with you scampering about.”

Staring down, which would have been her feet if they hadn’t been blocked, Buffy mumbled, “Sorry.”

“Quite all right, Buffy. I don’t have to be at the gallery until at least noon.”

A half hour later Buffy sipped at a mug of steaming hot chocolate. All of a sudden she left the kitchen to head downstairs. Her mother lifted an eyebrow when she emerged carrying an armload of clothing. Buffy NEVER did housework unless pressed to do so. Buffy deposited the clothes down on the kitchen island and began to fold.

“Stop staring!” Buffy said with a laugh. “I was bored!”

Joyce smiled.

Buffy paused. “Mom, what is labor like? I mean, is there anything I should know?”

“Oh, Buffy, you’ll do fine. I’ve seen you read over a dozen books. Nature takes its course anyway.”

“I’m scared,” Buffy confessed.

Joyce walked over and hugged her. “Everybody is scared. Nothing to be ashamed of. There will be doctors to help if anything goes wrong.”

“That doesn’t soothe me much,” Buffy said.

Joyce shook her head. “Dear, you have to get over this hospital distaste.”

Biting her lip, Buffy said,” Can’t help it.” Her cousin died in the hospital. That fact haunted her every time she stepped within its doors.

“You won’t be alone. I’ll be with you. Spike will be with you, holding your hand. And you know he’ll eat any doctor that doesn’t know what their doing.” The last part was said with good humor.

“I know, mommy. Still, I can’t help it.”

Joyce touched Buffy’s hair. “I know.”

“Buffy.”

“Xander, what is wrong?”

He sighed. “It’s Tara. Glory got her.”

There was a span of silence. Buffy gripped the telephone tighter.

“Is she . . .?”

“She’s alive. But . . . She’s different. Her mind is gone.”

Poor Tara. Buffy shut her eyes. The sweet witch didn’t deserve this.

“How is Willow dealing?”

“N-Not good. I think you should come down here,” Xander said.

“All right. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

When Buffy entered the room she was hit with a brick. Nothing could have prepared her for what she saw. Tara’s right hand was wrapped in a cast. She sat on an examining table, dressed in a dotted hospital gown. It was her eyes that struck her the most. There were vacant. There was nothing there.

Buffy hugged Willow. “Will, I’m so sorry.”

“They kill mice!” Tara said in outburst and giggled.

Willow blinked back tears.

Hesitating, Buffy moved toward Tara. She wrapped her arms around the woman. Tara didn’t respond, as if she didn’t recognize the sentiment. Buffy pulled back.

Willow shook. “I’m so scared.”

A little while later a nurse came to tear Tara away from Willow. The nurse assured Willow that Tara only had to stay in the psych ward for a night. Tara went wild as soon as her girlfriend let go of her good hand.

“Stop! Please don’t with your treachery!” Tara shouted. She thrashed her head.

Willow frowned. “Tara, baby?”

The nurse wheeled the chair toward the door.

“I told the cat. And now my mother sits all alone,” Tara babbled.

“I’ll see you tomorrow. I love you,” Willow said.

Tara stretched out her hand. Willow turned around, not able to watch her other half’s exit.

“It’s just for one night,” Xander reminded his best friend.

“A whole night,” Willow said. “I don’t think I can sleep without her.”

“You can sleep with me!” Anya exclaimed.

All eyes focused on Anya. She seemed embarrassed. “That came out a lot more lesbian than it sounded in my head.”

Buffy stepped forward. “You have to rest, Willow. Okay? Right now there’s nothing you can do.”

The expression that passed over Willow’s face made Buffy go cold. It was full of hate.

“Yes there is,” Willow said flatly. She stalked out the door.

Buffy hurried out into the hall. She halted the red-head by grabbing her arm. “You can’t even think about taking on Glory!”

“You saw what she did to Tara. I can’t let her get away with it.”

“No. You ‘have’ to let her get away with it. None of us are a match for her at the moment.”

“Maybe I am. I haven’t really tried,” Willow said. She wrenched her arm free.

“You’re not. I won’t let you,” Buffy protested.

“This is not your choice.”

“You won’t last five minutes. She’s a god.”

Willow shook her head. “Fine. I’ll wait.”

“It’s the only way.”

Willow turned to leave. “Just leave me alone for awhile.”

“Can I stay here forever?” Buffy questioned.

He pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “Won’t hear any complaints from me, luv.”

“I wish I could,” she said. “But Willow needs me.”

“Poor Red. How’s she holding up?”

“Not good. She was looking to go all pay-backy on Glory for a minute. But I cooled her down.”

He looked skeptical. “So she’s not going to do anything rash then?”

“No. I explained to her that there was no point.”

“Mmm hmmm.”

She stepped out of his arms. “What?”

“You - so you're saying that a ... powerful and mightily pissed-off witch ... was plannin' on going and spillin' herself a few pints of god blood until you, what, ‘explained’?”

Buffy frowned. “I told Willow it would be suicide.”

“I’d do it,” Spike softly said.

Buffy’s eyes took in his intense blue ones.

“For you or the bit. I’d do it,” he went on.

“I know,” Buffy whispered. “Do you honestly think Willow’d . . .?”

“Think, luv. If anything happened to the baby because of Glory? What would you do?”

Buffy’s eyes widened. She raced out the door without glancing back. She knew he followed her because she could feel tingles spark the back of her neck. A moment later he met up with her.

“Slow down a bit, Buffy,” he ordered. “It isn’t good to push yourself this late in pregnancy.”

“I’m fine,” Buffy insisted.

No time to concern herself about exertion. Willow needed her ‘now’. Willow might die.

They made it to Glory’s gigantic mansion and burst inside. Glory must really feel confident because there was no security. A loud bang filled the slayer’s ears. She followed it into the parlor. The room was in shambles. Broken glass covered the floor and furniture was thrown around, most busted.

Buffy walked in just in time to find Willow held against the wall. Glory had a large knife in her grasp, prepared to stab her friend. “Know what they used to do to witches, lover? Crucify them.”

Buffy stormed up. She snatched Glory’s wrist. “They used to bow down to gods.”

Buffy head-butted Glory and twisted her wrist. Willow fell to the floor in a heap. “Things change,” Buffy concluded.

Spike rushed to help. He kicked Glory in the face. Then he began to punch her. Glory blocked the blows easily with her hands. Glory managed to throw the vamp over the sofa.

“That witch barely managed to slow me down,” Glory commented. Her gaze landed on Buffy.

Buffy knew she had to get out of there. She was in no shape to take Glory on. Her back hurt and she had a tiny tummy ache. To top it off baby Dawnie was doing gymnastics.

“Thicken,” Willow called. She picked herself up.

The air around Glory began thick, immobilizing her temporarily. Buffy grabbed Willow’s hand, hauling her out. Spike took the opportunity to follow them. The group ran out to safety.

“This isn’t over, witch!” Glory shouted after them.

Buffy handed a sandwich over. “Chicken-salad?”

Willow raised her hand. “Me.”

“Eggplant, that’s me,” Buffy said as she took another sandwich out of the paper bag.

“What’s Tara got?” Willow asked.

“I made her tuna. Does she like?”

Willow took the sandwich and waved it in front of Tara. She carefully unwrapped it. She smiled.

“Plastic and her six sisters. Six sisters,” Tara babbled.

Willow slid her fingers along the side of Tara’s face. “Let’s just start slow today.” Her attention went to Buffy. “Can I have that?”

Buffy handed over a plastic container of applesauce. She watched as Willow opened it up and spoon-fed Tara. Willow took extra care as she brought the spoon up. Buffy couldn’t help but compare it to the care that a mother gave a child.

“That’s my girl,” Willow told Tara.

“What are you gonna need?” Buffy questioned.

“I don’t know. They gave me a lot of stuff to keep her calm. They told me to restrain her at night but . . . Sometimes she’s fine. She’ll look at me and she’s fine. I can do this. Even if she never . . . She’s my girl.”

Buffy nodded. She cupped her palm over her protruding belly. She wanted to cry over the devotion Willow had over Tara.

“I understand,” Buffy softly said.

Willow smiled. “I know you do.”

Suddenly the entire wall was ripped aside. Buffy and Willow jumped to their feet. Buffy gasped when Glory’s face appeared at where the window used to be.

“I told you this wasn’t over,” the goddess declared.

“No. The place is cracking!” Tara screamed.

Buffy’s eyes roamed, searching for a way out of this one.

Willow touched Tara’s arm.

“Oh, look at that!” Tara gawked at Buffy. Her finger pointed at Buffy’s middle. “How pure. Such pure green energy.”

The slayer took a step back. She held her stomach in protection. Her eyes fell on Glory. The hell god grinned in delight.

“How beautiful,” Tara said.

Buffy felt dizzy. She put a hand out to the wall in attempts to steady her. Oh God, Oh God.

“How cleaver those monks were,” Glory said.

Chapter 20

The slayer was one for action. They made decisions quickly and made them without hesitation. At that moment, however, Buffy couldn’t move. She remained frozen, petrified. All she could do was clutch at her stomach, the thin layer of skin that wasn’t enough protection to her child. It’s over. It’s over. It’s over. . .

She never heard Willow chant something in Latin. Or see when the witch held out her hand. Glory was thrown aside into the bushes.

“Buffy, run!” Willow shouted.

Buffy blinked.

“Buffy, move!”

Coming out of her daze, Buffy took in the situation. She took flight and sprinted out into the dorm hallway. There were students all over. They glanced up in curiosity as she passed. Some got in her way and Buffy pushed them aside. She made it to the front doors and crashed through. She crossed the lawn, heading toward the road. An uncomfortable clench in her belly made her slow. The sporadic, occasional pains were becoming not so sporadic or occasional. But she didn’t have time to contemplate what that meant. No. She shook her head. She had to keep moving.

As soon as she made it to the edge of the street Glory popped up in front of her. The goddess put her hands on her hips. She stared down at Buffy as if she were a pesky ant that she needed to squish with her heel.

“You can run but you can’t hide. I’ll always catch up,” Glory declared.

Buffy prepared herself for what was to come.

“Any last words?”

“Just one. Truck,” Buffy said.

The semi stampeded into Glory’s form. The goddess flipped and landed on top of it. Buffy took the opportunity to flee the scene. She rushed all they way to Xander’s apartment. It was the closest Scooby haven.

She banged frantically on the door. Her friend opened it and she barreled in, breathless. He held her shoulders, taking in her state with concern.

“Buff, what happened?” Xander inquired.

She leaned into him. “Glory.” It was all she had the energy to get out. He led her to the couch. She collapsed on the cushions.

“We have to get everyone together,” Buffy instructed. “Call Giles. Is Anya at the shop?” At his nod, she went on. “Call her too. And contact my mom. Tell her to pack a bag. Willow and Tara might be there. Or they’re on their way here, I don’t know.”

Xander rushed off to do as she commanded. Buffy leaned her head back and moaned. She was drained and her muscles ached. She didn’t know how much longer she’d be able to hold up.

An hour later everyone was gathered. Buffy stood before them. She felt as if she might collapse but she kept the façade of commander well.

“Honey, what is this all about?” Joyce asked gently from her seat in the recliner.

Buffy stared out the window. “Glory knows about the key. I barely got away. A truck hit her. Couldn’t have slowed her down more than a few seconds.”

“But the important thing is that you are safe,” Giles said.

Buffy spun around. Fire burned in her eyes. “Safe? We've barely been able to manage not getting seriously dead every time we've crossed paths with Glory. Now that she knows that my baby is the key?”

“Piano!” Anya exclaimed.

“Because that’s what we used that one time to . . . Wait, huh?” Xander swiveled. “Ahn, what are you talking about?”

“We should drop a piano on her. Well, it always works for that creepy cartoon rabbit when he's running from that nice man with the speech impediment.”

Giles rolled his eyes. “Yes, or perhaps we could paint a convincing tunnel on the side of a mountain. Let's just keep thinking, everyone. “

“We can’t fight her,” Buffy lowly said.

“Well, not yet. But in a matter of time –“

“No, never,” Buffy countered. “Spells, stakes, or even rocket launchers aren’t going to beat this one. She’s a god and she’s coming for us. So I think let’s not be here when she comes knocking.”

“Run away?” Anya voiced. “Finally a decent plan.”

“That’s not what she meant,” Xander said. “Was it?”

“Of course not,” Willow replied.

“Yes it was,” Buffy said with emotion. “It’s the only thing we can do. She’s going to knock us down one by one until she has me snatched up. And who knows what she’ll do with Dawn then. Probably rip her right out of me.” Buffy’s lip wobbled. She covered her mouth with her hand and fought the stinging in her eyes.

“Buffy, we all understand the severity of the situation, but there must be another way,” Giles said.

She shook her head. “We stay and we die. Show of hands for that scenario?”

The group remained silent.

“Gather only what we need. We’re gone within the next two hours.”

For a moment no one moved. Then they began to disperse. Joyce stood up and approached her daughter. She laid a hand on her shoulder. Buffy jumped at the touch.

“Buffy,” Joyce gently said. “We need to contact Spike.”

Buffy nodded. “I’ll take care of it.”

Buffy studied the map before her. Where to go? She’d always wanted to see Canada. But was that far enough? Was China even far enough? Somehow she felt like she wouldn’t even be safe on Mars.

Suddenly something ran over her back. She looked over to find Spike next to her. His presence eased her heart a fraction.

“You look knackered, luv. Why don’t you go in the back and rest?” he suggested.

“I can’t,” Buffy said. She looked back at the map. Spike turned her head toward him once again.

“Take a break, Buffy. You need your energy for whatever’s ahead of us.”

A bump in the road made the vehicle jostle. Tara whimpered and Xander groaned. His complexion was greenish and she wouldn’t have been surprised if he spilled his breakfast all over their shoes. She wondered if it was motion sickness that had overcome him or the sight of Spike and her proximity.

“Spike is right,” Joyce urged. “You have to keep your strength up.”

Buffy glanced from her mother to Spike and back again. They were very firm over the matter. She knew she wouldn’t win against them both. She reluctantly got up.

“That’s my girl,” Spike said.

His girl? Her lips twitched.

She went into the back and shut the sliding door. She took in a deep breath. Then she curled up on the tiny couch. She winced as a sharp spasm spread through her uterus. She pressed against the spot and felt that it had grown hard. She whimpered. The sensation eased and she closed her eyes. Eventually she escaped the tornado that threatened to suck her in.

“Buffy, you’re going to roast out here if you stay much longer.”

The rich British voice made her turn. She shielded her eyes. He stood on the porch in the shadows.

“Come join us, Spike,” Buffy called.

“Yes, daddy, come join us!”

The little girl was beautiful. Her brown pig-tails bounced as she ran around the back yard. Her blue eyes sparkled with excitement.

Spike hesitantly stepped out into the sun. He came to a halt before Buffy. She gazed up at him and for some reason didn’t question the fact that he didn’t burn. She reached out and took his hand, bringing him down to her.

Things were perfect.

Her eyes shot open. Her green eyes landed on his face. He sat beside her on the tiny couch.

“Sorry to wake you. Anya is going to try fixing some lunch. I thought you might be a tad peckish for something.”

Buffy slowly sat up. The air seemed thick, closing in on her. She wanted to go back to her dream world where everything was perfect.

“What do you say? Spam?”

Ugh, spam sounded awful. Consuming anything at the moment sounded awful. She felt sick. She stiffened. No, not again. This time it hit her harder and she doubled over. Spike perked up. He reached over and put his palm over her stomach. His nostrils flared.

“You’re rock hard, slayer!”

His voice did nothing to help her state. She tried to control her breathing as the contraction ran through her. It was the longest one yet. Not a good sign.

“Were you going to let us in on this turn of events?” Spike demanded.

“It’s nothing to worry about yet,” Buffy said.

“Nothing to worry about? You’re in the first stage of labor!”

Oh God! Why did he have to say that out loud? The confirmation made it all too real. She wasn’t ready. She wasn’t ready.

“What were you tryin to do? Hide it?”

She shook her head.

“Were you in denial?” He said this more soothingly. The tone portrayed that he already knew the answer.

Buffy laid her head against his shoulder. “Oh, Spike, this can’t be happening now. Please make it stop,” she begged.

He stroked her hair. “Nothing I can do.”

“Just hold me then.”

He gathered her in his arms. She sighed, snuggling up against him.

“It’ll be okay, luv,” he assured her.

She believed him. She shouldn’t have. Everything pointed against it, but she did anyway.

The sound of clopping horse hoofs thundered into their ears. Buffy shot out of his embrace as an arrow penetrated the wall beside them. So much for Spike’s false claim.

Chapter 21

It was like watching a movie. The events passing before her eyes felt distant, as if they were happening to someone else. There were shouts outside and more arrows hurdled through the air. The Winnebago swerved. Buffy swayed and Spike reached out to steady her.

“Come on.” He tugged her out into the main area of the Winnebago. Joyce ran to Buffy.

“What is going on? Who are these people?” Joyce frantically questioned.

“I met up with them before. They’re an army . . .” Her eyes met Spike’s. “Set on destroying the key.”

Spike clenched his jaw.

“We need weapons,” Giles declared.

“Ram them,” Buffy ordered. She held onto the table as Giles drove into the horses.

Scampering came from above them. Someone was on the roof. A sword shot down at them, ripping through the metal barrier. It went back up, only to be jammed down again a second later. Spike acted as fast as lightning. His hands wrapped around the blade. Now was the time for Buffy to enter the fray. She awkwardly climbed onto the table under the hatch.

“Xander, can you lift me up?”

Joyce frowned. “You’re not going out there!”

“There’s no choice. Spike can’t leave the Winnebago, Giles is driving, and Xander looks ready to heave. I have to.” Willow was out of the question since she was busy trying to control an out of control Tara.

“Don’t you dare, pet,” Spike warned.

Buffy ignored the contradictions. She motioned for Xander to help her. He boosted her up through the hatch. It was difficult hoisting herself out with the restricting belly but she managed. She balanced herself on her feet. The knight on the roof saw her. He pulled harder on the sword. The weapon came free and he thrust it at her. Buffy jumped backwards. She kicked at his legs before he could swing again.

The knight went down. Buffy leaned down to pummel him. The sword went skittering across the roof. The knight struggled against her. He got the upper hand and threw her off. She went flying. She landed near the edge of the Winnebago with a thud.

“Hey, leave my daughter alone!”

Buffy’s eyes widened. Her mother stood before the knight, brandished with the discarded sword. “Mom?”

Joyce shrugged with a grin. “It’s not an ax but it’ll do.”

Joyce charged at the knight. He made an effort to get up but Joyce was faster. She stabbed him in the side. He hollered in pain. Joyce took her foot and kicked him over the side. Joyce swung the sword.

“Wow, Mom, where’d you learn how to fight?” Buffy asked.

Joyce went over to help her daughter stand. “It’s a Summers’ trait. And I’ve watched you.”

Just then a horse came up alongside the Winnebago. He tossed up a grapple hook and started to climb up. Buffy and Joyce broke away, preparing to do battle. This knight had a scary looking mace.

“Mom, give me the sword,” Buffy commanded.

Before Joyce could the knight used the mace chain to wrap around the weapon. He tugged it out of Joyce’s clutch. The blade flung off the moving vehicle. They could hear another knight ascend.

Buffy kicked out at the first knight. Then she kneed him in the stomach. He went over the side with a yell.

The next knight held an ax. Buffy dodged it as it came her way. She took hold of his arm and twisted it. She heard a crunch sound. The tightening in her stomach took her by surprise. She let go of the foe and winced. The knight used his head to smash into her. She careened back, ending up on the edge of the Winnebago. She teetered, trying to regain her balance. Joyce rushed over and caught Buffy before she could fall. The rescue was in vain, however. The Winnebago went out of control.

“We have to jump!” Buffy shouted.

“But honey . . . ! You’re in no condition-“Joyce argued.

The Winnebago yet again veered to the side. The women held onto each other.

“Better to jump now than to go kaboom.”

Buffy didn’t wait for a response. She leapt off, taking her mother with her. They landed in the desert below. Buffy cried out on impact. She rolled her body until she came to a stop. She slowly sat up in time to watch the others zigzag and then tip in a cloud of dust.

“Buffy, are you all right?” Joyce questioned.

“Yeah. Are you?” Buffy asked in return.

Joyce limped over. She took Buffy’s hands and pulled her up. Their attention fell to the fallen Winnebago.

The abandoned gas station was their only option. The place looked pathetic. A rusted pick-up truck was parked outside near the pump. A lone tire leaned against the wall. The group stepped inside, Spike rushing in first. He stomped on his smoking duster. The interior wasn’t any better than the outside, if anything it was worse. The windows were partially broken and glass littered the cement floor. Boards covered the remaining glass. Dust covered the neglected counter. There was also a retched musty smell.

Buffy collapsed on the floor, leaning her head back against the counter. “What, no mints on the pillow?” she quipped exhaustedly.

Spike crouched down in front of her. He took her hands in his, looking into her eyes. “How you holding up, pet?”

“Do I have to be up? Can’t I be down? Down sounds nice right about now,” Buffy said.

He smiled.

Buffy noticed that Spike’s hands were bandaged. Red had soaked through the white cloth. “What about you?”

Spike held up his hands. “Oh, these? Tis nothing. They’ll heal in no time. It’s you I’m worried about.”

“We have another plan, right? One that doesn’t involve pointy knives and a Winnebago?”

Buffy took a deep breath. “We rest here a minute but we have to keep moving.”

Xander came up. “Where?”

“I don’t know!” she desperately cried. “We can’t stay here. It-It’s too close to the wreck. We’re too easy to find.”

“Shouldn’t we be getting you to the hospital?” Spike suggested.

“Is Buffy hurt?” Giles questioned.

There wasn’t time for a response. A fiery arrow shot through a window. It imbedded itself in the wall behind. Xander rushed over and plucked it out. He stomped on it until the flame smothered.

Buffy picked herself up with Spike’s aid. More arrows came at them. Willow helped Tara duck out of the way. Tara wailed.

Anya took a peek outside. “They’ve brought some friends this time,” she said.

“Great,” muttered Buffy. “I’m glad their so popular.”

Buffy dodged another arrow. “Willow!”

“I’m on it!” called Willow.

“We have to do something!” She spotted a vending machine off in the corner. “Here, help me out, Spike.”

The two began to shove the coffee machine in front of the door. After getting it in place Buffy doubled over. “Not again,” she groaned.

Giles watched intently. “Dear lord, are you in labor?”

Joyce took Buffy by the shoulders. She tried to push Buffy away from the door. “You have to sit or lay down.”

Buffy shook her head. “I can’t!”

The boards over the windows rattled as knights beat on them. Buffy shut her eyes and let out a small squeak. If she wished hard enough maybe it would all go away.

An ax hacked at another door. Splinters went flying. A knight crashed through. He rushed at Buffy and punched her in the face. She was knocked aside, ramming into the counter.

Spike lunged at the knight. He punched the guy in the jaw, only to be rewarded by a massive migraine. He held his head and yelled.

Buffy regained control. She whacked the knight as hard as she could. He thrust his ax at her but she was able to block it. Then she smashed him into the wall. He fell unconscious. She sighed in relief. Xander and Spike came over and began to drag the man into the back room.

Another knight crashed his way through. He wore different armor than the others, more extravagant. He held out his sword, aimed at Buffy’s stomach. “The key!”

How did they find out? she wondered. She hugged her middle. She spotted the fallen ax from the other knight. She snatched it up and threw it at the higher ranking soldier. It hit his hand and his sword dropped.

The knight dashed at Buffy. She attempted to hit him but he evaded her fist. He tossed her aside and she hit the wall, sliding down in a heap. He loomed over her with menace. Joyce snuck up behind the knight and used the blunt end of the sword to hit him on the head, knocking him out cold.

“Mom, ever think of taking up weaponry?” Buffy asked.

“Enemies, fall and fly!” Willow shouted. “Circular arms, raise a wall!” She held up her arms.

Energy crackled through the air. Another knight trying to enter bounced back. Commotion broke outside. Then everything fell silent. The scoobies held their breaths and waited. The force field seemed to hold.

“Will, how long will it hold?” Buffy asked.

Willow glanced out the window. “Half a day maybe.”

Buffy nodded. Pain washed over her face. She held her stomach and tried not to signify how much it took out of her.

“Just long enough for you to . . . give birth,” Willow said.

Buffy sagged after the contraction ended. Dread hung over her head at the thought of ‘after’.

Chapter 22

Time blurred. It had to have been hours but no one could be sure how many. Buffy’s contractions were full-blast now and they seemed never ending. She hardly seemed to notice the others anymore, so intent on her body’s workings. Spike hovered nearby, uncertain and feeling helpless.

“How long you lot reckon it’s been?” the vampire abruptly questioned the group.

“I didn’t bring my watch,” Xander said.

Willow looked out the window with a pensive expression. “There’s not much time to spare. They’re out there trying to punch a hole through.”

Anya brightened. “Spike, you should have sex with her!”

“Say what?” Xander exclaimed. He spun toward his girlfriend. “There will be no grunting of any kind.”

At that moment Buffy grunted loudly. The noise made everyone turn toward her. Sweat made her skin slick and shiny, and she gave the impression of being drained. For Buffy, the slayer, drained was a sign for alarm.

Xander pointed toward Buffy. “Except from the expected baby having, of course.”

Spike rolled his eyes.

“I heard sex helps stimulate labor,” Anya said.

“Ahn, not helping.”

She pouted and crossed her arms. “Fine!”

“I’m telling you,” Spike said,” Tis isn’t natural for labor to go on like this. She should be pushing by now.”

Joyce knelt next to Buffy. She swept wet hair off Buffy’s forehead. “She’s doing fine.” Then to Buffy,” You’re doing fine.”

The only answer they got was another contraction. Buffy gritted her teeth and got swept up in it. The sight clenched at Spike’s unbeating heart. He hoped it wouldn’t be much longer.

But it was. Buffy eventually got up to everyone’s surprise. Giles began to protest and she shot him the evil eye, which made him back down. Buffy paced back and forth. Anytime anyone neared, bitchy Buffy emerged with fiery vengeance. It drove them all insane, but probably Spike the most of all. It hurt that she wouldn’t let him comfort her.

After much of this Buffy gave in and collapsed in her mother’s arms. Joyce eased her back down to the floor. She rubbed her back as Buffy whimpered.

“How much longer is this going to take?” Buffy spat. It was the first time she had spoken in hours.

“Hopefully not much,” Giles stated. His eyes were dark with foreboding. Spike didn’t like it at all. It meant his worry wasn’t uncalled for.

Spike admired Joyce. Throughout the whole thing she remained calm and murmured encouraging words. Buffy might seem worked up now but he suspected it was nothing compared to how she could have been.

Joyce smiled. “Honey, I need to take a look and see how you’re doing.”

Buffy nodded. Joyce moved to tug down Buffy’s slacks.

“Keep your eyes away, Harris,” Spike warned Xander harshly.

“Yeah,” agreed Anya.

Xander glared. “Like I would.”

Spike snorted. He removed his duster. He laid the material over Buffy’s exposed hips. Joyce gave him a grateful look. He shrugged.

Joyce massaged Buffy’s leg. She lifted the coat and took a peek.

“Can I push?” Buffy asked.

“Do you feel ready to push?” inquired Joyce.

The slayer laughed manically. “How the fuck should I know? I’ve never done this before!”

“Buffy!” scolded her mother.

Buffy looked sheepish. “Sorry, Mom. No, I don’t feel the urge to push. But this is getting me nowhere.”

Another contraction ripped through Buffy. She gripped Joyce’s arm. Joyce tried to mask the pain that the slayer-grip caused. It was nothing compared to what Buffy must be going through.

Tara squirmed in Willow’s grasp. “The shrieking banshees! Make them stop!” The blonde covered her ears.

“Shhh . . . “ Willow soothed. She stroked Tara’s hair.

Joyce sighed. She glanced up at the others. “We’re in for a long and hard labor. She’s hardly dilated.”

Giles took his glasses off. He proceeded to clean them.

“All we can do is wait,” Joyce added.

So they did. The scoobies remained quiet, even Tara. They watched and waited as Buffy strained against her agony. Something had to change eventually. Except it didn’t. The contractions kept coming but Buffy never attempted to push. Spike turned away, not able to take it. He heard his girl moan again and involuntarily spun back around.

Buffy rocked back and forth, holding her stomach. She tried different positions, finding none to her liking. She looked helpless and succumbed by the storm inside her. Things couldn’t get worse, Spike thought.

They did, though. Buffy’s moans turned to screams. Spike rushed over to her side. She wouldn’t even look at him. He clenched his jaw. She hated him.

“I’m sorry,” Spike apologized.

“Spike didn’t do this. It wasn’t his fault,” Joyce said.

“If he never existed the monks couldn’t have done this to me,” Buffy cried.

The words stung hard. They were worse than Cecily’s ‘you’re beneath me’. Buffy wished he never existed. Spike put his face in his hands. He felt something touch his back.

“She doesn’t mean it,” Joyce whispered.

Spike nodded. Still, he wasn’t certain.

Minutes passed and passed, evaporating in the air. Buffy’s outbursts ceased to soft tears. Spike guessed it wasn’t from the contractions letting up. She still flinched every now and then. She was simply too tired to care.

“Something needs to be done,” Giles stated.

“And soon,” Willow said. She gestured out the window. “I don’t know how long my spell will hold.”

Giles ran a hand through his hair. He was at a loss.

“Something’s wrong,” Buffy croaked. “She won’t come. She won’t come out.”

There was a moment where no one spoke or moved as they let that sink in.

“Make it stop!” Buffy begged. “Maybe it isn’t time yet. This is a false labor.” Buffy arched her back. The contraction died and she collapsed back against the counter, depleted. She shivered slightly. She turned her head to address Willow. “Do something, Will. Please! You can stop it!”

“I . . .” Willow bit her lip.

“I can’t take much more of this.” Buffy fell into a sobbing fit. She rubbed her hands over her belly forlornly.

Spike caught Joyce’s attention. He motioned for her to come over so he could talk in private. They went over to the side, out of Buffy’s range of hearing (or so Spike hoped).

Joyce took a deep breath. “She’s not progressing. She should be well into the second stage of labor by now.”

“What does that mean?”

“Frankly I don’t know. My labor with Buffy wasn’t like this. It only took me eight hours. This is . . . This is . . . She may be the slayer but . . .”

Spike closed his eyes. Buffy might give out. He rammed at a wall and smashed his fist through.

Buffy’s distress soaked into Spike’s being. He had to get away. He crept into the back room to hide. He paused to light a cigarette. His hands burned as he attempted to flick his lighter. He finally gave up and put it away.

“She is having difficulties?”

The voice took Spike by surprise. He had forgotten about the knight they had captured. He ignored it.

“Let us hope it prevents the key’s surfacing. Otherwise unspeakable torment will unleash upon us all.” There was a long pause. “You should kill it now while the slayer is defenseless.”

Spike stalked up. He wrapped his hand around the knight’s neck and squeezed. “Don’t you dare suggest such things about my daughter!”

“You are the father? A vampire?”

Sharp knives pierced Spike’s brain. He bared the pain.

“Separate!”

Spike went sliding across the floor. He shifted to see Willow in the doorway. She came in and he noticed her eyes had gone black. After a moment they faded to their natural color.

“Did you want to kill him?”

“Yes,” hissed Spike. He breathed rapidly, trying to focus his eyes. “He deserves it after what he said.”

“He’s important, Spike.” Willow narrowed her eyes at the chained man. “What are you? Lieutenant?”

“General,” the knight replied.

Willow crossed her arms. “Impressive. What do you know about Glory?”

“The beast ruled with two other gods. The beast's power grew beyond even what they could conceive. As did her lust for pain and misery. They looked upon her, what she had become ... and trembled.”

Willow’s eyes widened. “Gods afraid.”

“So was her power. They feared she would attempt to seize their dimension for herself, and decided to strike first. A great battle erupted. In the end, they stood victorious over the beast ... barely. She was cast out. Banished to this lower plane of existence, forced to live and eventually die trapped within the body of a mortal ... a newborn male, created as her prison. That is the beast's ... only weakness.”.”

“Kill the man and the god dies.” Willow frowned.

“I could do it. It’d hurt like hell after but . . .” Spike offered.

Willow shot him a look. “Buffy wouldn’t allow it.”

The general chuckled. “You are fools. Sacrifices are required to ensure the safety of others.”

Spike knew the knight’s words were true. His ears picked up the sound of Buffy going through another contraction. He hoped that the sacrifice wouldn’t have to include his slayer or daughter. He made a decision then. If anyone was going to have to be spared it would be him. He was the most logical choice anyway. He was a vampire and had outlived his rightful time. And he would be the least missed.

“Spike, come on. Let’s go see how Buffy is doing,” Willow suggested.

She was doing the same. Still more time went by. Buffy barely noticed the contractions after awhile. Her hands stopped moving but still kept contact with her belly. She seemed to be in a deep mediation or dissociating.

“Is she dying?” Buffy asked suddenly.

No one answered. No one had an answer. They weren’t doctors and had no clue. Buffy clutched her middle tighter. “Someone talk to me!”

Spike got down on his knees. “She’s tough like you.”

“That didn’t answer my question.”

Spike got up and went over to Willow. The witch raised her head.

“Red, I need you to open a door,” he said.

The two ventured outside to face the enemy. Willow waved her hands and a small part of the barrier parted.

“We need you to let us bring in a doctor. We have someone in need of medical attention,” Willow informed.

“Why should we help you? You are the protectors of the key,” a knight said.

“Because that’s the way it’s done,” Spike said. “Don’t you have any honor?”

“We have no honor toward those conversing with vampires.”

“Look here, pillock, we got a bleeding woman in there! You want to be responsible for her death?”

The knight’s expression hardened.

“We have your general,” Willow reminded.

The knight caved. “Very well,” he finally said. “We shall grant you your request.”

Spike felt a weight lift. He returned to Buffy while Willow called the only doctor they could get a hold of. Buffy let Spike touch her this time. He wasn’t fooled to think it was because she welcomed it. She had lost her will to stop him.

It took too long for help to arrive. Eventually it did. Spike studied the man. A sense of familiarity overcame him. He’d seen this doctor before.

Ben, the doctor informed. His eyes swept over Buffy. Spike didn’t like his look. The thought of him examining between her parted legs made Spike sick.

“I was told that her labor is augmented,” Ben said.

Joyce nodded.

Buffy didn’t acknowledge Ben’s presence. He got down to check her state. He prodded around at her womb and nether regions.

“How long has she been in labor?” Ben asked.

“Maybe thirteen hours. Maybe more, maybe less,” Xander said uncertainly.

“And the time before we got here. She never did say when it started,” Spike continued.

Ben nodded. “Her uterus is failing to progress further.”

“What can you do?” Joyce asked.

Ben dug into his black medical bag. He took out a stethoscope and blood pressure monitor. He took Buffy’s vitals.

“I think I can burst the amniotic sac. That should bring forth the process.”

Spike snorted. “You think?”

Ben glanced up. “This isn’t my forte. I don’t deal with births. I was educated in medical school but . . .”

The demon in Spike longed to be brought out. It wanted to threaten Ben into succeeding like with the doctor about taking out the chip. On second thought, that didn’t end well.

Ben revealed a long crochet-type hook with a pricked end. Buffy blinked, coming out of her daze.

“What are you doing with that?” She seemed panicked.

“It’s called an amniohook,” Ben said.

“Uh huh. And what’s it for?”

Ben opened his mouth. Spike spoke before he could.

“It’s going to help you, Buffy.”

Buffy shook her head. “I don’t want that thing inside me.”

“If you want this to end well you have to.”

She sighed and nodded. Ben took the hook and slid it under the coat. The leather blocked Spike’s view but he guessed what was happening. He expected Buffy to be in pain. If she was, though, she concealed it. The hook came out a bloodied mess. Spike stared at it for a moment before quickly averting his eyes. He had more to care about than dinner.

“You all right, pet.”

A moan was all he got in return. Her face scrunched up. The next wave came right after. Her contractions grew rapidly until she only had seconds to spare before the next. Ben muttered comforting words of assurance. Spike suppressed a growl. It should be him down there with her instead.

Buffy clawed at the cement floor. “Can I push?”

Ben spread her legs. He leaned down. When he straightened he was smiling. “You’re fully dilated, Buffy. Go ahead and push on the next one.”

“What do you mean next one? It’s all one big one now,” she panted. She lifted slightly and put all her energy into a push.

“Good. Get ready for another one,” Ben instructed.

This continued. Then Buffy fell back. “I can’t,” she complained. “I’m so tired.”

“Nonsense. You are almost done.”

Spike rushed in. He pushed Ben away and took his place. “Buffy, luv, yes you can.”

“Go away,” Buffy said. “I don’t want you near me.”

He ignored her. “You’ve been through hell and back. You can do this.”

“No, I really can’t. Let me die.”

Okay, tenderness wasn’t going to work. Time to get firm. “You’re the slayer! You’ve fought demons. Deal with the exhaustion and pain!”

“I can’t.”

He punched her in the face. Her eyes widened in astonishment.

“Spike!” Joyce yelled.

Ben tried to stop the vampire. Spike tossed him aside again. Spike took another swing at Buffy.

“Maybe you can’t do it. Fine. So what? You are Buffy Summers. Die trying!”

Buffy took a moment to breathe. “Ahhh, here comes another.”

“Bloody push!” Spike commanded.

“I will, you . . . you bossy vampire!”

Spike chuckled. Good girl.

She pushed and pushed. She snatched onto Spike’s hand. Ben wouldn’t come near again because of Spike. So the vamp took a look himself. He was rewarded with a brown head. It disappeared but returned as another contraction came.

“I see a head!” Spike exclaimed.

He brought her hand down to touch the small wonder. Buffy broke into tears that soon transformed into relieved laughter. The revelation gave her new jubilance. She put great effort into the next push. The entire head emerged. Spike reached out and took it. Buffy pushed again and the baby slithered entirely out.

Spike held the red, slimy creature. It remained still. Spike gazed at it in horror. His worst fear came into being. He had created death. His throat tightened.

Buffy weakly sat up. “Is she . . .”

Spike couldn’t meet Buffy’s eyes.

“You have to coax it to life,” Ben said. “Hold her upside-down by her feet. Then sweep her mouth out.”

Spike did as told. He took his pointer finger and cleaned the creature’s mouth out. She took in some air. A tiny cry entered the room. Her eyes opened, blue, and she became Dawn. His daughter, his number one girl. His eyes stung.

Buffy held out her hands. Spike gingerly handed the baby over to her mother.

Ben handed over a pair of scissors and some thread. “Tie the string six inches from the baby. Then cut the cord.”

Spike fumbled with the scissors. He made a quick cut after the umbilical cord stopped pulsating. Mother and daughter were free.

The placenta was discarded with little trouble. Buffy leaned back, cuddling Dawn to her chest. She beamed. She may be sweat-covered, her hair tangled, her skin pallid, but she was beautiful to Spike.

“She has your eyes,” Buffy declared. She smiled proudly.

Spike hesitated before lowering to lie down beside them on the hard floor. His arm went around them both, holding them close. They hardly were aware of the spectateing audience that gathered around the new family.

All of a sudden Ben jumped up. He looked around wildly. “You have to let me out!”

Everyone just shared looks of confusion.

“You don’t understand! You have to let me out now!” Ben walked over to the wall. He put his hands up to claw at his head. “No!”

Glory morphed in front of them. Ben is Glory, Spike realized. No wonder he got bad feelings about the bloke. Glory stretched up toward the ceiling. She took in her surroundings, perplexed. Her eyes landed on the dirty baby in Buffy’s arms. Buffy huddled with Dawn.

“Well, what do you know. Little Ben did something right,” Glory muttered.

Spike got up. He charged at the goddess. She knocked him back and he landed into Xander. The two men crashed to the floor.

Buffy crawled with her baby in attempts to escape. She moved with difficulty and in protest. Glory zipped over and blocked her path. Buffy stopped and raised her head. She knew right then that she wasn’t going to get away. She absorbed Dawn’s features hard, fearing it might be the last time she saw them.

Glory swept down and tugged the baby away. Buffy reached out desperately.

Spike chased after Glory into the night. He dodged the bodies that littered the ground that she left like breadcrumbs. The others followed far behind. They left Buffy, a crumpled statue, her eyes glazing over as she sunk down inside herself.

Chapter 23

Chaos broke out through the group. Willow wondered if she was the only person thinking rational. But even so, she couldn’t come up with a solution. Buffy . . . She didn’t even seem to be there at all. A shell. The sight made Willow want to shudder.

Joyce knelt before her daughter, now fully clothed. The mother had dressed her daughter as if she were a rag doll. She took the slayer’s thin shoulders gently. “Buffy, honey?” No response. “Baby? Come on,” she urged. The woman turned back with wet eyes. They pleaded up at Willow.

“Try again, Will,” Xander said.

Willow nodded, although she feared it would be futile. Joyce moved aside to let the witch take her place. She gazed into her friend’s empty stare. “Buffy? Can you hear me?”

“This bloody well isn’t doing anything!” Spike stepped forward. “She can’t be . . . brain dead. I mean, she’s still Buffy in there. Somewhere.”

Willow could tell Spike was scared. They all were. But he was the most, she could tell, despite how he fought to hide it. He lost his daughter only a short while ago. What would he do without Buffy as well? He’d be left with nothing. She glanced over at her broken Tara. She knew what that felt like. Well . . . almost. At least Tara would look at her.

She never had a friendship with Spike. She never really thought much about his well-being at all. But now she couldn’t help but have compassion for the vampire as she watched him pace.

“Losing Dawn must have pushed her over the edge,” Giles murmured. His eyes seemed to darken even more as he said this.

A sob escaped Joyce’s throat. “My poor baby,” she whispered.

Spike growled. He charged over to Buffy’s side. He took her shoulders and shook her violently. “Time to wake up, luv. Time to get our little girl back!”

“Hey!” Willow protested.

“We tried that,” Xander said.

“Spike. . . .” Anya intervened.

Spike glanced over. “It’s hardly time to get dainty. She’s endowed with slayer strength.” He slapped her across the face. He hardly flinched from the chip’s fire.

“Is it just me, or is he becoming immune to the chip?” Xander spoke up.

Spike stood up and glared at the other man. “Gotten used to it, yeah. Scared, Harris?”

Xander took a step toward Spike, purpose in his gaze. Willow lifted a hand and pushed him away with magic. “Now isn’t the time!” she said harshly.

The men calmed. Their eyes went back to land on Buffy.
Someone had to take charge. Their leader was gone. Willow took a deep breath.

“All right. First we head back to Sunnydale. Anya's looking after Tara. Xander and Spike, you find Glory. Check her apartment; see if she's still there. Try anything stupid, like payback, and I will get very Cranky. Giles, look through your books and see if you can come up with a plan for saving Dawn.” She plastered her face with resolve. “Everyone clear?”

After a moment Anya raised her hand. “Wh-What will you do?”

“I’ll help Buffy.”

“Now, don’t turn me into a toad for asking, but what about if we come across Ben?” Spike questioned.

“I don’t think Buffy needs a doctor at the moment,” Willow said.

Spike rolled his eyes. “Well, yeah, especially one that happens to be Glory.”

“What do you mean?” Giles asked.

“You know, Ben is Glory.”

The whole group stared at the vampire emptily. He frowned.

“You mean Ben is working for Glory?” Willow deduced.

Spike shook his head. “No. Ben ‘is’ Glory. As in they are one and the same. Are you all stoned?”

“When did this all happen?” Anya said.

“Not an hour ago. Ben turned into Glory before all our eyes. You don’t remember?”

Spike sighed deeply. “Very crafty. Glory must be working some kind of mojo to make everyone forget her presto-chango. But yours truly being a vampire, I must stand immune.”

They simply stared.

“Okay, let me explain again,” he said.

+ + +

Glory clutched at her head. She began to rip out pieces of her blond hair. It wasn’t because of hunger either, it was from the screaming. The kid hadn’t stopped crying since she took her.

“Will someone make that brat shut up!?” Glory demanded. She went over and shook the baby in an attempt to silence it.

One of her favorite minions, Murk, hurried over. “You can’t kill it now, Glorificus. We need it for the ritual. You will be lost in the mortal plane forever.”

She thrust Dawn over to him. He took the squirming infant, almost dropping her. “What shall we do with it, our creamy queen?”

Glory made a shooing motion with her hands. “I don’t care! Just take the thing away!”

Another demon came over, this one female. “We should prepare it for the ritual.”

Glory lounged in a chair. She leaned back and covered her ears. “Whatever, just take it out of my range of hearing.”

The moldy creatures took the confused baby off.

+ + +

Okay, I can do this. I can do this. I can. Willow took a deep breath. She focused into Buffy’s lifeless eyes. She felt herself pull away from the small bedroom. Things shifted and she found herself somewhere else.

Willow stood in the hallway of a house she had never seen before. Pictures hung on the walls. They displayed a happy little girl with brown pigtails and sparkling blue eyes. Willow stopped in front of one that showed her in the arms of both her parents: Buffy and Spike. A family, together, smiling.

Laughter drifted toward Willow. She slowly crept in its direction. It led her to the open door at the end of the hall. She peered in to find a pink and purple children’s bedroom. Dawn lay under a massive amount of blankets. Spike stood near the foot of the bed, and his daughter watched with hero-worship.

“Aunt Willow weakened Glory with her magic. Then your mum was able to have at her.” He parried with a fake sword.

The little girl sat up with interest.

Spike grinned. “I snatched you up before any nasties could harm you.”

Willow fought back tears. In Buffy’s mind she had created a false happily ever after. If only she could have weakened Glory somehow. The barrier spell had taken a lot out of her, though.

“And you tooked me home. Right, daddy?” Dawn questioned with a yawn.

“Right.” Spike bent down to kiss his daughter goodnight.

“And we lived happy ever after.”

“Aren’t they beautiful?”

Willow’s head snapped to the side. Buffy stood beside her, as if appearing from nowhere. The slayer gazed into the room with a ghost of a smile.

“Yes,” Willow agreed. “But, Buffy, you have to come back with me. This isn’t real.”

A moment passed without answer. Buffy hugged herself.

“We need you back home,” Willow went on.

“It’s nice here,” Buffy said.

“I know. But you can’t stay.”

“Why not?”

“We need you,” Willow said again.

“What can I possibly do? I already failed.”

“No, you haven’t. Not yet.”

Buffy closed her eyes. “Glory has Dawn.”

“Yes, but you can get her back. If you stay here she will die. If you come back with me there is still a chance to save her.”

A shudder ran through Buffy. “I can’t stand to lose her, Will. I couldn’t handle that. I’ve lost Angel and I’ve died. I got through that, but . . . losing my own daughter.” She covered her mouth.

Willow wrapped an arm around Buffy. “Then don’t let it happen,” she whispered.

+ + +

Buffy took a deep breath and entered the Magic Box. Willow, Anya, and Tara followed in her tracks. Giles stood up from his seat at the table. “Buffy?”

“Are you all right?” Xander asked.

Buffy nodded. “Yeah. I’m all right.”

“Did you know that Glory is Ben?” Xander blurted.

“So I’ve been told.”

She took a quick glance at Spike. His eyes looked unconvinced by her words. She moved on and spotted a bunch of papers scattered across the table.

“What’s all this?” she questioned.

Giles cleared his throat. “Xander and Spike uncovered documents for the ritual. I've read these things very carefully and there's not much ... margin for error. You understand what I'm saying?”

Buffy crossed her arms. “Might help if you actually said it.”

He nodded. He slowly sat back down. He removed his glasses and took a moment before continuing.

“Um ... Glory ... plans to open a ... dimensional portal ... by way of a ritual bloodletting.”

“Dawn’s blood?”

“Yes. Once the blood is shed at a certain time and place ... the fabric which separates all realities will be ripped apart. Dimensions will ... pour into one another, uh, with no barriers to stop them. Reality as we know it will be destroyed, and ... chaos will reign on earth.”

“How do we stop it?”

Giles’s eyes darted away. “Buffy . . .”

“Giles?” she urged.

He forced his gaze back. “The only way to stop it is to kill Dawn.”

__________________________________________________

I know the Buffy mind part was lame. I’m sorry. I was eager to get on with the actual action part.



Chapter 24

Buffy didn’t have time to react to Giles’s declaration. The hairs on the back of her neck prickled. She tilted her head toward the training room. Without a word, she walked out the back door and into the alley. It didn’t take long to find the cause of her slayer alarm firing. The vampire was your average 25 IQ monster. Miraculously, he had no idea what a slayer was. She guessed he must have just recently risen. It was rather refreshing. It wasn’t that she didn’t like a good brawl now and then, but it was nice to know that you would be the one to walk away. She felt lucky every time she escaped an encounter with Glory.

The impact of her situation hit her when she returned to the magic shop main floor. Giles glanced up from the archaic texts before him. He looked greatly tired.

“Trouble out back?” Xander asked.

“Vampire,” Buffy muttered offhandedly. She never took her eyes off Giles. “I guess it would be too hopeful to ask if you found anything while I was gone?”

The watcher sighed. “I’m afraid so.”

There was a long silence.

“Explain it again,” Buffy demanded.

“It is rather simple. . . “

“Explain it again.”

“The key was ... living energy. It needed to be channeled, poured into a specific place at a specific time. The energy ... would flow into that spot, the walls between the dimensions break down. It stops, the energy's used up, the walls come back up. Glory uses that time to get back into her own dimension, not caring that all manner of hell will be unleashed on earth in the meantime.”

“Um, but only for a little while, right? The walls come back up, uh, n-no more hell?” Anya seemed generally frightened. Xander laid a hand on her arm as comfort.

“We can’t kill a baby,” Willow said. “C-Can we? And not when- Giles, it’s not right.”

Tara thrashed. “I have places to be!”

Willow hugged Tara to her.

“Why blood? Why Dawn's blood? I mean, why couldn't it be like a, a lymph ritual?” murmured Xander.

“Because it always has to be blood,” Spike said.

“We’re not exactly talking about dinner.”

“Blood is life, lackbrain. Why do you think we eat it? It's what keeps you going. Makes you warm. Makes you hard. Makes you other than dead. Course it's her blood.” Spike’s jaw twitched.

“Simple math here,” Buffy said. “We stop Glory before the ritual. We still have a few hours, right?”

“Y-Yes. If my calculations are right,” Giles replied. “But, Buffy-“

“I don’t want to hear it!”

“I understand that.”

“You don’t understand!” Tears streamed down Buffy’s cheeks. They blinded her vision until there was nothing but blur. “This is my daughter. A tiny, helpless, little girl. And you’re asking me to kill her. I made her! And now you want me to destroy her!” She shook uncontrollably. Her legs gave out and she began to crumple to the floor. Strong arms came out and caught her. Some part of her brain knew it was Spike. She slumped in his embrace.

“I don’t want anything of the sort,” Giles said. “But if Glory begins the ritual . . . If we can’t stop her . . .”

“Come on, say it!” Buffy spat. “Tell me to kill my own daughter!”

“She’s not your daughter,” Giles softly said.

Buffy froze. Spike gripped her tighter.

“I think now is the time to shut your gob, watcher, before I tear your head from the rest of you,” Spike warned.

Willow stood up. She held out her palms. “Okay, guys, let’s calm down. The ritual hasn’t started yet.” No one seemed to hear her.

“If the ritual starts, then every living creature in this and every other dimension imaginable will suffer unbearable torment and death. Including Dawn.”

“I can’t do it,” Buffy sobbed. “I’m sorry . . . I love you all. . . but I can’t.”
“Okay,” Anya said loudly, a little too chipper. “Everyone is in favor of stopping the ritual before it starts. Let’s figure out how. Any ideas? Times wasting and this is bickering is pointless.” She paused. “Willow. I bet you've got some dark spell a-brewin'. Uh, make her a, a, a toad? Little hoppy toad, we can hit her with a hammer?”

“Hoppy toad,” Tara repeated with a giggle.

“What about Ben? He can be killed, right? I mean, I know he's an innocent, but, you know, not like Dawn innocent. We could kill a ... regular guy.” Xander suddenly looked horrified. “God.”

“I could,” Spike said.

All eyes directed on him.

“What? You all so shocked?”

“Not at all actually,” Giles said.

Spike glared. “Harris was right before. The chip doesn’t bother me as much as it used to. I haven’t gone all homicidal over it, like popular belief would be. I don’t enjoy the kill like I used to. But if need arises. . . “

No one spoke. Buffy silently came to a decision, though. She’d let him. If the need did arise, she’d let him do it. She’d walk away and allow an innocent man to die. If that was the price to have her daughter back, even with the guilt, it would be worth it.

“We don’t have to kill anyone,” Willow said. “All we have to do is stop him-her.”

“Yeah. We get her on the ropes, we just gotta keep her occupied till it's too late,” Spike said.

“Okay, but I’m not hearing enough ideas. She’s a God. Think outside the box,” Anya went on.

“Why don’t you think outside the bloody box!” Spike shouted.

“Yes, Anya, apart from your incredibly uninfectious enthusiasm, have you anything else to contribute?” Giles said.

“The Dagon sphere! It was meant to repel Glory. We have it in the basement. Oh!” Anya raced over to the display case in the shop. “Olaf the troll god's enchanted hammer. You want to fight a God, use the weapon of a God.”

Xander watched Anya with pride. “Smart chicks are hot,” he expressed.

“Well, we have some ideas, if we could actually get Glory on the run, but, um...” Giles stated.

”But, we still have no idea how to find her,” Buffy said. Her eyes were dry now, but she still relied on Spike’s grip to hold her up.

”Big day. Oh, it calls me! I have to be there!” Tara exclaimed.

+ + +

Joyce felt useless. Mr. Giles insisted that she stay at his apartment, since Glory had no notion of its whereabouts. He gave her full reign of the kitchen and television. But the thought of food made her sick, and there was no way she could stop her wandering brain enough to watch a show. All she could do was sit on the sofa and worry. It was like waiting during a tornado warning, standing by for the all clear, fearing that your house might get blown away. But in this case it wouldn’t just be the house, it’d be the entire world with it.

A little while ago Willow called and told her that Buffy had snapped out of her daze. At least that was something to be relieved about. Now the slayer had to face a battle against a powerful hell-goddess. She was in no condition, mentally or physically.

My poor baby, Joyce thought. My poor grandchild.

+ + +

Buffy beat the punching bag with fury. Sweat glistened over her skin from exertion. She’d been at it for who knows how long and yet she wasn’t a bit tired.

“Won’t this wear you out?” Giles’s voice didn’t catch her by surprise. She’d suspected he might show up soon.

“Really won’t,” she replied. She hit the bag again, this time harder. The bag flew off its chain. Oops, she thought.

She turned toward her mentor, her expression hard.

“I’m sure you hate me right now,” he said.

“You know I’ll stop you if you attempt to hurt her,” Buffy declared.

“I know.”

Buffy came over and sat down on the couch. She leaned heavily against the cushions. Giles hesitated a moment before he sat beside her.

“The spirit guide told me death was my gift. I guess that’s what a slayer is about, huh?”

“I think you’re wrong about that.”

“It feels that way. I’ve killed so many demons and vamps. But for once I gave life. This tiny baby was something I created. I can’t possibly destroy her. I’ll watch the world fall down before that happens.” Her lip quivered.

Giles put an arm around her. She shifted so that it became a full hug.

“We’ll do everything we can to prevent her any harm,” he promised.

+ + +

Spike walked behind Buffy in silence. Her pace was quick and she never glanced back to acknowledge him. The only thing she’d said to him all night was an order to follow her to get weapons. He wanted to pull her to him so that he could feel her warmth, but she was in full slayer mode.
His chest ached from the loss of his child. It would be nice to have the comfort that Buffy was still there for him.

They reached the house. She entered, leaving the door open for him to follow. He stepped in to see her going up the stairs.

“Buffy, luv?”

She stopped, her hand on the banister. “There are some axes in the chest,” she said offhandedly. She took another step.

“Buffy. . .?”

Why was she acting this way? Did she think that he was responsible for Dawn getting kidnapped?

A moment passed. Finally she turned around. “One of us might not make it. You know that, right?”

His eyes enlarged. Oh. He forced a smile. “Always knew I’d go down fightin.”

It wouldn’t be her, he vowed. If anyone would end up dying it would be him. His was the vampire, the disposable one.

“I’m counting on you to protect her for me.”

He answered immediately. “Till the end of the world. Even if that happens to be tonight.”

“I’ll be a minute.”

He nodded. She prepared to continue up. “I know you’ll never love me. I know I’m a monster. But you treat me like a man.” He sighed. “Thanks for trusting me, for letting me in Dawn’s life.”

She turned back. Her face held intense emotion, emotion he couldn’t decipher. She slowly descended down to stand before him. He stared at her with boyish curiosity. She took his hand and pulled him up along with her. She led him down the hall to her bedroom. He expected her to gather weaponry but instead she tugged him to the bed. She lay down and patted the blue bedspread beside her.

He paused, unsure. She gave him a smile of assurance. He stretched out next to her. She leaned over him, her breath hot against his face. She met his eyes, searchingly. He remained still, waiting for her to take action. She kissed him deeply.

“I read up on what you said in the cemetery.”

“What?”

“When you drank from me.”

“I’m sorry, pet. It was a . . .”

She pressed two fingers against his lips. “Spike, shut up.”

He did.

“I understand now. Blood between two people is sacred. I became quite fascinated over the passage about claiming. It said that a claim is the most sacred bond there is.”

“It is,” Spike agreed.

“Good. So, Spike . . . I’d like you to claim me.” Buffy tilted her head and brushed her hair aside.

Spike blinked. What? He sat up slightly. “Buffy, you don’t know what you are asking. Once a claim is made it can never be undone.”

She lightly touched his chest. Her eyes lowered almost shyly. “I know.”

Could she be serious? Had she really read all the details and still wanted it? She’d be a part of him, him a part of her. There could never be anyone else, and if one of them died a part of the other would still remain. All those times she asked him to leave, and now she asked him to stay inside her heart forever.
Spike thought maybe he would burst, since it was surely impossible for someone to feel as much love as he did.

“Buffy-“

“I know what I’m doing.”

He moved slowly, giving her enough time to back out. He expected her to. But she didn’t. He ran his index finger down the side of her neck and stopped at the pulse point. He lowered to replace his finger with his lips. The rhythm of blood grew fierce, along with Buffy’s breath. Her eyes fluttered closed.

Normally a bond like this was done during sex. He knew that wasn’t possible. Even as a slayer her body hadn’t recovered from the harsh tearing of childbirth. The intensity of the offered warm body before him drove him mad. He couldn’t imagine what further intimacy would have done to him.

He brought forth his demon. He sniffed and smelled the rich liquid under the thin surface of skin. He sunk in and drank greedily at it. Distantly he heard Buffy moan. She squirmed in his clutch. The next thing he knew he was on his back, still gulping in her lifeblood. She straddled him and began to grind into his achingly constricted cock.

Spike’s eyes rolled back. He withdrew his teeth.

“Mine.” He didn’t recognize his own voice. It was deep and husky.

He felt blunt teeth press down on his own neck. Then they bit hard, stinging . . . but in a good way. “Yours.”

Buffy lifted her head. He was surprised to see red staining her mouth. Her wet tongue slipped out and she licked it off. They looked at each other, getting lost.

Buffy shuddered first. It sent him over the edge as well. She slumped on top of him. He rolled them to their sides. He cocooned her with his arms.

“That was . . . amazing,” Buffy panted.

All he could do was groan. Her lips tugged up.

Her heart thumped wildly in his ears. Instead of simply hearing it, however, he could feel it. Almost as if it were his own heart. Wow. Amazing was nowhere near to describing what had happened, was happening.

She snuggled closer. “Let’s pretend.”

“What’s that, pet?”

“That there is no war. That Dawnie’s safe in the other room.”

His hold on her tightened. He couldn’t pretend and he knew Buffy couldn’t either.

_________________________________________________

What do you think? Oh, thanks for letting me know BTW.

The Protectors

By Heather Martin

Rated – R

Summary- The monks gave Buffy and Spike one night of fake memories. That would have been enough to change their lives. But when you add a glowing key in the form of an unborn baby, well . . . things wouldn’t just change, they would be turned completely upside-down

Disclaimer- Joss Whedon owns Spike’s eyebrow scar, his bleached hair, his crystal blue eyes, his manly arms, his muscular chest, his tight . . . *cough* Too bad isn’t it? But a girl can dream, right?

Spoilers- Starts during Out of My Mind. The entire Season 5, although I changed it tremendously to suit my own purpose

My apologies, guys. First, I was just lazy. Then school started and I had to concentrate on homework. Only one part left, though, and I’ll try to get that out before the beginning of next week.


Chapter 25

A new sensation swam over Buffy. It wasn’t something picked up by taste, smell, hearing, touch, sight, or her slayer radar. This was a seventh sense- entirely made up of Spike. It’s hard to describe exactly what Buffy experienced from the claim. It was like a door opened, one that had always been there but without a clearance code until now. The room she entered was full of Spike: memories, feelings, the essence that made him what he was. It was all there, and she fit each part inside her.

She’d never seemed so whole. She wandered if secretly she’d been searching for these ‘Spike puzzle pieces’ all her life. What did this mean? Was it an aftereffect of the claim? Or was it something more? Soulmates came to mind. A secret smile tugged at her lips.

She snuggled into him and he held her against him. The minutes ticked by. Precious time.

“We have to move,” Buffy mumbled into his chest.

He didn’t say anything. Suddenly he sprung up, throwing her off him. It took her a moment to recover from the loss of contact. She pulled herself to her feet.

“Sorry, pet. Thought I should do it fast and get it over with,” he explained.

She nodded.

They walked to the magic box was done without holding hands. Physical contact would have made it unbearable. Buffy entered the shop, immediately switching into slayer mode. She began to hand out weapons.

“Everyone ready to go?” she asked the gang.

“Yes, it’s time,” Giles announced.

Buffy swung the troll hammer. “Let’s set out then.” She glanced at the red-headed witch. “Will?”

Willow nodded. She stepped over to Tara, who was peeking into the display case. “Baby? Is there somewhere you should be?”

Tara straightened. She pointed at them all with anger. “You hold me back! All of you!”

“No one is holding you back,” Willow said softly.

Tara’s eyes roamed over the others. She hugged herself.

“You’re free to go, Tara,” Willow urged on.

It took a moment for Tara to move. She slowly walked to the door, glancing back for approval. Willow smiled in encouragement. They waited a moment before following, giving the mentally lost woman space.

“Everybody knows their jobs. Remember, the ritual starts, we all die. And I'll kill anyone who comes near Dawn,” Buffy said.

It didn’t take long to come across their destination. Tara halted and craned her neck. Buffy took in the tower with trepidation. She caught movement below, along with sparks from welding. The sound of heavy machinery filtered into her ears. Tara continued walking and Buffy had to force herself onward.

Willow’s job came first. She managed to gain short proximity with the hellgod. She grabbed Tara and Glory’s heads. Her eyes went black with power. Tara and Glory hollered as blue electricity crackled between them. All three of them suddenly broke apart.

Buffy’s eyes went to where Willow and Tara landed. She saw them move with relief and turned her attention back to Glory. The goddess picked herself up.

“What the hell did that bitch do to me!?” Glory shouted.

Good job, Willow, Buffy thought.

“She made a little . . . hole. . . I need a brain to eat.”

Buffy stepped out into view. “Why not mine?”

Glory turned. She smiled. “Good idea.”

“Come and get it,” the slayer taunted.

The minions swarmed around Glory. They seemed very concerned over their ruler’s condition. Glory shooed them off.

Glory stood unsteadily.

“Not feeling well?” Buffy mocked. “Here, catch.” She removed her hand from around her back. The Dagon sphere glowed brightly in the night. She tossed it toward Glory.

Glory’s eyes grew large. She reflexively caught the ball. She stared at it for a minute before crushing it. She let the remains fall to the concrete.

“You’re going to wish you never-“

Buffy swung at the goddess with the troll hammer. She’d picked it up while Glory was distracted with the Dagon sphere. The god went flying into the wall of the construction warehouse.

Suddenly Buffy was confronted by shrill crying. The sound stabbed at her heart. Maternal instinct took over. She left the crumpled Glory to make her way toward the stairs that led up to the tower. She stumbled over a pile of bricks. She picked herself up and went on. A minion blocked her way but she easily punched him aside.

She stormed up. Got to get to the top. Got to get to the top. She didn’t look back. Dawn kept calling to her in distressed cries. I’m coming. I’m coming. Hold on, Mommy’s coming. Tears stung at her eyes and her chest tightened. Just before she made it to the ladder that led to the top there was a clang behind her. She turned to find Glory smiling at her. The goddess struck out before Buffy had a chance to react. The hammer went flying in the air. Buffy watched it fall to the dirty ground below.

“What ya gonna do now that I took your toy away?” Glory taunted. She glanced up at the platform. “I don’t think baby has a chance.”

And at that moment Buffy felt defeated. Her knees begged to buckle. She ached all over. She wanted to crawl back into the shell of her mind where nothing bad could happen.

Spike appeared out of nowhere. He tackled Glory from behind. He wrapped his arms around her neck in an attempt to choke her. It was a poor attempt, but Buffy appreciated it nevertheless.

“Get our lil girl,” he grunted.

Buffy moved to comply but from the corner of her eye she spotted Glory shrug the vampire off. He tumbled over the side of the structure. Buffy stopped with wide eyes. She watched as he reached out and grabbed the side, dangling. Buffy should have kept going. Not because her daughter was at stake, but because the entire world was. But Spike had managed to work his way into the forefront of that world. She couldn’t lose him. She made a decision to try and help him from falling. Glory acted faster, though. The goddess took her foot and pushed at Spike’s hands. One gave out and Spike barely hung on with the other. Glory’s entire attention was on the vampire, so Buffy took advantage of it. She kicked Glory away. She kept kicking until the deity lost her balance and fell off.

Buffy hurried over to Spike. She crouched down and held out her hand. Spike swung himself forward to grab hold. She hoisted him up. They shared a meaningful look before turning their gaze downward. Glory stirred and got up with no trouble. She combed fingers through her hair in an attempt to rid herself of dust. She glanced up at the pair of blondes with rage. She spotted the discarded hammer and picked it up.

Buffy squeezed Spike’s arm. “She’s too strong. She keeps getting up like the Energizer.” And now with the hammer . . ., she added silently.

A large vehicle rolled forward. It controlled a giant wrecking ball. The ball swung out at Glory. It sent her crashing through the wall of the warehouse. The engine shut down and Xander emerged from the machinery. He raised his head up to where Buffy and Spike were.

“The glorified bricklayer picks up a spare,” he shouted.

Buffy grinned like the Cheshire cat. She felt new confidence sweep into her. For the first time that night things had tipped in their favor.

“I have to go down and make sure she’s out of order,” she declared.

He nodded. “I’ll get the bit.”

Before parting, Buffy took his hand and squeezed. She raced down the ramp. She yelled a thanks to Xander as she passed. She entered the warehouse, wrinkling her nose at the musty smell inside. Glory lay on the floor, finally incapacitated. Buffy found Olaf’s hammer a few feet away. She effortlessly took it up. She stalked over with purpose. Buffy saw something in Glory’s expression for the first time. Terror. The goddess was absolutely afraid of the small slayer.

Buffy went at it, slamming the hammer down over and over. Blood splattered over Glory’s face. It was a wonder Buffy even recognized the change with all the red that covered the features. But Buffy did. The cheekbones shifted, becoming masculine. Her hand went slack, dropping her weapon.

He coughed, spitting up blood. Oh God. How could he be alive? He was a mere human.

“So she lost, huh?” Ben laughed.

“Tell her it’s over. She missed her shot,” Buffy replied.

She didn’t expect him to tell Glory anything. He was so broken. If he did survive she suspected he’d be paralyzed. But, if Glory emerged maybe all the injuries would mend . . . What would she do then? It would start all over. She wished she had the strength to pick the hammer back up and end it all. Hell, she’d be doing the poor host a favor. But she couldn’t. Buffy could never live with that sort of thing.

She turned to find Giles.

“I’ll deal with it,” he said.

His tone made her eye twitch. What did he mean by that? Was he going to call an ambulance? She shrugged the uneasiness aside. Trust Giles. He was old and wise, and always knew the best thing to do. So she nodded and left.

Buffy heard a familiar moan on her way back to the tower. She stopped dead. No. . . She crouched and turned him over. A giant gash had formed across the side of his face.

“Spike. . .?”

He squinted at her. “H-He pushed me off. Got to hurry. Got to get to her.” He tried to get to his feet but fell in her arms instead.

“Who pushed you off? Who got to her, Spike?” she demanded. Her voice was harsh and loud.

“I thought I killed him. What a stupid git I am.”

Forget it; she wasn’t going to get any coherent answer from him. She moved to put him down to rest but he protested. He gripped her arm hard.

“No, pet, I’m coming with.”

She didn’t argue. There wasn’t time. She helped him up, putting her arm around his shoulders. They walked up the walkway to get to their daughter. She looked up and saw a shadow. Something was up there with the baby. The something Spike had been speaking of. She urged Spike faster despite his injuries. She should have left him behind. When she got to the ladder she abandoned him and climbed up alone.

“Stay away from her!”

The man whirled around. He placed a watch back in his pocket. He smiled. “Times up,” he said. Then the man . . . no, not a man, opened his mouth. A long tongue like a snake shot out. Buffy quickly dodged. The tongue rolled back into his jaws. He got a strange look on his face, as if he swallowed a fly and was thinking ‘mmm, yummy’. How bizarre.

“What a nifty parlor trick,” she muttered.

She barreled at the frog/snake demon man, acting as a battering-ram. He went over the side. Everything froze then. The only thing Buffy was aware of was the tiny infant lying on her back. Her feet kicked and she sobbed with plea.

Buffy swept up the bundle. She smelled the baby’s soft hair, sucking in her scent. Her hands ran over her body, searching for injuries like any mother would. The only thing she found was a miniscule prick on her left foot. Buffy kissed the wound.

“Mommy’s got you, Dawnie. Everything’s going to be all right now.”

And as soon as she finished that sentence the air crackled. Blue electricity swarmed through the night sky. A flying creature materialized, resembling a mean fairytale dragon. Buffy knew then it wouldn’t be all right. She snuggled her daughter close to her heart.

This was it. Well, at least she’d go down with Dawn. Her face would be the last thing her daughter saw. Protecting her until the end.

Buffy wasn’t afraid to die. She never had been a religious person. But she battled monsters from hell everyday, and if you believed in the underworld you were forced to believe in heaven along with it. The only thing that broke Buffy’s heart was that her daughter never got a chance. She knew it was selfish not to care about the other people on earth, not that she didn’t care, but Dawnie was at the forefront of her mind. The girl would never grow up to be in the school play, or go to the beach, or receive her first kiss, or get married. Oh, Buffy wanted so much for her daughter.

The portal grew, taking up most of the sky. It reminded her of the blob from that horror move. Although, this was airborne and electrified. Half of Buffy’s mind accepted their fate, yet another half kept searching for a way out. The slayer fought to the end even if it wasn’t physically.

Dawn squirmed in her clutch. She kicked her feet wildly. Buffy caught the left foot. Bloody trickled down more steadily now. She wrapped her hand around the cut. If only I can stop it, she thought. If I staunch the blood . . .

Blood. My blood! Buffy’s eyes widened as everything fell into place.

Death is your gift.

Buffy knew what she must do. She hadn’t lied after all. Things were going to be okay. She gazed down at Dawn and poured her entire soul into her. You won’t remember, Buffy thought. She told her anyway.

“I love you.”

She prayed to the heavens for the first real time. Let her remember one thing, she begged. Just a glimmer, a feeling. Just the feel of her mother’s love.

Buffy pressed her lips to Dawn’s brow. The baby had stopped crying now. She looked up at her mother with large blue eyes. Buffy could have sworn that she saw understanding there. Buffy prepared to put her down.

“What are you doing, slayer?”

Buffy straightened, still cradling Dawn. Spike. . .

He stood unbalanced, more weight on his left. His right eye was also swollen. His good one stared at her with betrayal. He knew. Somehow he knew. Was it the claim?

“I have to,” Buffy said.

He took a step forward and winced. It must have taken a lot out of him to reach her.

“There has to be another way,” he said out of desperation.

“Tell me what it is.” She was surprised to hear that same desperation in her own voice.

He simply stared at her, lost. She knew that leaving him would tear him apart.

“It is always about blood,” Buffy said. “Remember?”

Buffy walked over and handed Dawn carefully over to Spike. “You promised to protect her.”

“Buffy. . .”

“Don’t make this harder than it has to be,” Buffy whispered. She fought the tears that threatened to spill. There were so many things she wanted to tell him. Three words in particular. But she was afraid they would make things more painful in the end. For both of them.

She stole one quick kiss. Then she spun around as something flapped over their heads. The dragon demon was wreaking havoc. Or was it another one?

Buffy took a deep breath and prepared herself to jump. To face the unknown.

“Buffy.”

She closed her eyes. She felt him near. He shoved Dawn back into her arms.

“I promised to protect her. I also promised to protect you. Maybe not outloud but . . . I always keep my promises.”

Her resolve broke. The tears spilled down her face. I’m so sorry, Spike. I’m so sorry.

He touched her cheek. His skin was cool but it spread warmth through her body.

“I’m a part of you, Buffy. Don’t forget that. I run through your veins.”

She shook her head. “Don’t do this.”

“Name one good reason why it should be you.”

“It’s my job.”

He snorted. “Try again. I don’t buy that. Being the slayer doesn’t mean you fight all your battles alone. It means making tough decisions and making sacrifices. If anything it means letting me go so you can live to fight another day.”

“Dawn needs a father.”

“She needs a mother more.”

Buffy’s lips trembled. She couldn’t see at all now, her vision was so blurry. There was nothing she could say to convince him not to do this.

“Face it, pet, I’m the better choice. Not many will miss me. Just . . .” He paused. “Just be sure and tell her about me, will you? Tell her what her daddy did? I may be a monster but I made one good decision in my go at it.”

You’re not a monster. You’re the man I . . .

“I love you.”

It was the last thing she had. Her last attempt to change his mind.

“Please stay,” she said through sobs.

The planet stood still for a moment. Buffy’s tears slowed a little so she could make out the vampire standing in front of her. He had his head tilted in that curious manner he was notorious to do. A small smile tugged at his lips.

“Thanks, luv.” He brushed his lips against hers. It was feather-light, a goodbye.

“No,” she said.

“I can go a happy man knowing that. Thank you.”

“No,” she repeated.

He turned.

“No.”

He went to the edge of the landing. He looked down at the vortex.

“No.”

Her voice obtained no response. Buffy’s legs gave out and she crumpled to the floor. She never saw Spike jump because water blinded her again. She felt it, though. She felt something black tug at her heart and rip it into two, fluttering away with one half.

“No. No. . . NO!”

+ + +

Xander was the one to drag her down. She let him without a struggle. Willow examined her with concern.

“Buffy, are you okay?”

When Buffy gave no response there was a commotion.

“Do you think she is in another coma?”

Buffy moved then and they fell silent. She gave the baby to Tara. Distantly, Buffy comprehended the transformation in the witch. She was back to being herself once more. The realization brought no feeling.

Buffy lowered to her knees. She examined the construction site. Miraculously all the demons had vanished, along with the escaped mental patients. There was nothing but debris and dirt. Buffy dug her nails into the dust below her. The remains of Spike were somewhere in this mess. But he was lost to her.

_________________________________________________

I want to thank everyone for their kind reviews. I’m glad I could bring such an emotional response. Here it is, the last part. I might do an epilogue, but I’m not sure yet.


Chapter 26

On the third day Buffy’s tears dried up. They were replaced by complete silence instead. It unnerved Joyce to the core. Where did her baby go? Would she ever get her back? She’d rather see her daughter in a fit of grief than this emptiness. She feared Buffy had retreated so deep inside herself she’d never surface again. Hide away from the pain, that’s what Buffy’s plan was, Joyce guessed.

Everyday Mr. Giles came by to check on his slayer. Everyday Joyce relayed the bad news. Buffy wasn’t improving . . . she was getting worse. Slipping away from them.

Dawn cried out to her mother in need. Buffy seemed not to even hear. Joyce resorted to tending to the child herself.
“Shh, darling, it’s all right,” Joyce murmured.

Dawn’s red face remained scrunched up as she wailed. The poor thing couldn’t find any rest. This went beyond any colic; Dawnie simply was reacting to the aftermath of her turmoil. She could sense the un-rightness of her surroundings. Even though she knew her parents for a very little time, she probably missed their presence just the same.

Joyce rocked the infant until the baby wore herself out. Her cries turned to muffles and finally ceased. Joyce placed the sleeping baby gently into her bassinet. She took a moment to run her index finger down her soft cheek. Then she crept quietly into the hall.

This was the perfect time to go attend an errand. They were running out of formula. Joyce hesitated outside Buffy’s door. She took a deep breath and pushed it open. The room was dark, even though it was mid-afternoon. Joyce opened the blinds at first, but Buffy had only whimpered and rolled onto her stomach to escape the sunlight.

“Buffy?” Joyce called softly.

The slayer didn’t respond. Her eyes stared blankly up at the ceiling. For a moment Joyce pondered whether she should call Giles over to watch the house while she was gone. No, Joyce thought, that isn’t necessary. Dawn is likely to sleep for hours.

“I need to run out and purchase some more formula. I just- I just thought you should know. I’ll be back within a half hour. Okay?”

Nothing.

Buffy was so strong. It ripped Joyce apart to see her so broken.

Joyce bent down and kissed Buffy goodbye.

+ + +

Buffy had rescued countless lives. All of them nameless strangers. But when the one person that mattered came around she couldn’t save him. She always thought of him as being eternal. The one who would never leave. At first he stuck around as a nuisance, but then he wedged himself into her life where she couldn’t imagine it without him.

How could she survive?

She had nothing now. She was all alone. So cold, her insides were turning to ice.

In the background of her misery there was a sound. It grew louder and louder. Stop, Buffy begged. Leave me in peace.

It continued, more forceful.

“Stop.”

Buffy’s eyes widened from hearing her own voice. It was hoarse and strained.

“Stop!” she said again with more energy.

She shut her eyes tightly, trying to block out the noise. The sound wouldn’t let her think. Wouldn’t let her wallow in guilt.

I told him I loved him too late. We never got a chance to be happy together.

Buffy groaned. The sound was so distracting.

Mechanically, she sat up and swung her legs over the side of the bed. She walked toward the cacophony. Before she knew it she stood before the bassinet in her mother’s bedroom. The tiny creature within squirmed around.

Buffy blinked down at it. There was nothing at first, even though Buffy knew there should be. This is my child. My daughter, she realized. I should feel something. Shouldn’t I?

It was when little Dawnie reached up toward her that made the walls crumble. Buffy sunk to her knees.

“I’m so sorry. So sorry,” she murmured to Dawn. “I’m here now. I won’t leave you again.”

She had been wrong. She wasn’t alone. Spike might be gone, but she had Dawn. A little piece of him remained with her.

Buffy’s tears mingled with Dawn’s.

Twenty minutes later, Joyce found the bassinet empty. She hurried to Buffy’s room and found that vacant as well. Frantic, she checked the only other possibility. She gawked in surprise as Buffy cradled her daughter to her breast. The baby sucked greedily, her eyes closed and seemingly the most content since birth.

+ + +

After that, Dawn became Buffy’s world. It was the only way she could cope. She rarely left the house. Her friends grew extremely worried. Willow was the one who decided they needed to take action. Magic taught her that anything can be fixed. So she went to work to find the solution.

A month later, she found it. All the hard research was going to pay off. Or would have, if Tara hadn’t come in to find the witch in an array of black arts books.

“What is all this?” Tara demanded.

Willow tried to look as innocent as she could. She stood up from her cross-legged position on the floor of their dorm room.

“I’m just reading,” Willow said.

Tara stared down at the upside-down pentagram diagram that covered a visible page. She frowned. “This doesn’t look like light reading to me.” She raised her head and crossed her arms. “What are you planning?”

“I’m helping. I’m going to make Buffy happy again.”

“Willow, you can’t play with people like this.”

“I’m not going to poof Buffy happy. I can’t believe you would think that. No, I’m going to take away the hurt so she won’t be sad anymore. I’m going to bring back Spike.”

“Oh my Goddess, Willow! You don’t know what you are about to dabble with. This is dark stuff. Way over your head.”

Willow crouched down and shut the books shut. Then she gathered them into her arms and rose. She glared at her girlfriend.

“You don’t trust me? You think I’m still an amateur! Well, I’m not! I have more power than you could ever dream.”

To prove her point, Willow swept a hand toward the door. It burst open. Willow stormed out, making it bang behind her.

+ + +

Tara loved Willow with all her heart. That was why it was so hard to betray her. She thought about going to Mr. Giles first, but ended up at Buffy’s instead. Joyce welcomed her warmly, directing her upstairs. Tara knocked softly on the nursery door. It took a moment for Buffy to answer.

Buffy poked her head out. She placed a finger to her lips. “Shhh, I finally got her to sleep,” she whispered.

“I have to speak with you,” Tara told her.

Buffy nodded. She quietly stepped out into the hallway and shut the door. “What is it?”

“Maybe we should go in your room. You could sit down that way.”

That got the slayer’s attention. Buffy realized that this was an important matter. She led Tara to her room and they both sat on the bed.

“Buffy, Willow is planning something and I thought you should know. She wasn’t going to tell you and . . .”

“Just tell me,” Buffy said.
Tara nodded. “Willow is going to bring back Spike.”

Buffy’s breath hitched. A million emotions mixed together at once. And for a millisecond hope was one of them. But there was also anger and disloyalty. Willow was controlling her life. And Spike’s.

“She thinks she is helping. She thinks this is the best thing to do. But she doesn’t understand the consequences. What if something goes wrong?” Tara went on.

The hope died completely. Spike wouldn’t be brought back to her. Buffy would make sure of that. It would be playing with forces they didn’t have the right to.

+ + +

Fire flamed in Willow’s eyes.

“You can’t do this. I won’t allow it,” Buffy said.

“What if he’s in hell?” Willow spat.

“What if he’s not?” Buffy pointed out. “He saved the world, Will. Let him rest in peace. Please, for me.”

Willow eventually backed down. Buffy let out a breath from her victory. She should have felt relieved. For some reason all she could feel was longing.

ALMOST FOUR YEARS LATER

1402 days. 1402 days without him. She couldn’t feel her heart beat, but she breathed and that was all that mattered. She kept together most of the time. But occasionally she’d wake from a dream, a dream so real. She’d open her eyes to find that she was the only one in bed. She’d feel so bereft and lost. Dawn was so perceptive, a gift from her father. She knew whenever her mother had a rough night. Her bright blue eyes sparkled up at Buffy with emotion.

“It okay, Mommy. Aunt Tara told me Daddy not really gone,” she said once.

Buffy scooped her daughter up and held her close.

Dawn loved stories. She loved to act out the fairy tales. She was usually the princess, placing a crown on top of her head. She also had fairy wings and a wand that she got out at times. Beyond any fantasy tale, Dawn’s favorites were those of her daddy. They were even more heroic and entertaining than Cinderella or Snow White.

That night, at the end of the 1402nd day, Dawn demanded on another ‘daddy story’. She jumped a little on her bed. Buffy frowned and made her daughter settle down. She had so much energy that night.

“All right, all right. A daddy story,” Buffy said.

She dived in, telling Dawn about the man that was her father. Even events before the chip were told with softness. Buffy cherished every past moment now. Each one was sacred. This particular bedtime story was about the gem or Amara.

“He was so beautiful in the sun,” Buffy told Dawn. “Even though his skin was pale and his hair radio-active, he was gorgeous.”

“Like an angel,” Dawn injected.

A small smile tugged at Buffy’s mouth. “Yes, like an angel.”

Dawn’s eyes fluttered. Buffy leaned down and kissed her cheek.

“Night, Dawnie.”

“Night. Love you.”

Buffy left the room to enter the living room. The apartment was small, but well furnished and clean. They managed on Buffy’s waitressing income. The tips were what got them through. She went to school part-time also, working toward a psychology major. Someday she hoped to be a high school councilor.

Buffy fixed herself some hot chocolate. She plopped in a few tiny marshmallows, a recent addition. She carried her mug into the living room and curled up on the couch with it. Before she knew it she fell asleep.

Banging jarred her awake. She groggily threw off the green afghan and got to her feet. Who would be visiting them at this hour? Her mind immediately thought ‘trouble’. One of the scoobies needed slayer help.

Opening the door, she expected Giles, or maybe Xander. Instead she froze at what she saw. I’m still asleep, she thought.

They gazed at each other without a word. Buffy’s hand moved on its own. It came out to touch his face but halted in midair. She was afraid to find out this was all a dream. That she’d wake up as soon as she touched him. Or he would melt away, proving she was hallucinating. Her arm went limp.

“Are-Are you real?” she stammered.

“Invite me in and find out, luv.”

Oh God, he could talk. She shook and had to grab the door for support.

“Come in, Spike.”

She moved aside, still grasping the door. He hesitantly stepped inside. She remained in her stance, too shocked to do otherwise.

“Buffy . . .”

Her head whipped. She caught him looking at her with that Spike head tilt. Tears stung at her eyes.

“Luv?”

She felt him then. He took her into his arms. She slumped into them. He hoisted her up and her face nuzzled into the crook of his neck. He kicked the door shut.

He carried her to the white sofa. He lowered to it, shifting her comfortably on his lap.
“You aren’t disappearing,” Buffy stated.

“Do you want me to?” His voice was full of insecurity.

“God no.”

He smiled. “Good to know.”

She met his eyes. “Why are you here now? After so long?”

His left eye twitched. “How long has it been?”

“1402 days,” she softly replied.

“That many?” He sounded surprised. He did the calculation in his head. “Over three years. Time moves so fast here.”

“Here?” Buffy frowned. “Where have you been?”

He furrowed his brow. “Don’t rightly know. An in-between realm, I gather.”

Her arms snaked around his neck. “What happened to you there?”

He cleared his throat. “Well, turns out I did what no other vampire has done. I became a champion without a soul.” He chuckled. “At least that’s what the big wigs call me. Given my lil heroic plunge they decided I wasn’t suited for the fiery pit below. So they had themselves a trial of sorts to choose where I would end up.”

“What was the verdict?”

Fear coursed through her. What if this wasn’t permanent? What if he came by to say a proper goodbye before moving on? She couldn’t deal with seeing him just to lose him again.

He sensed her trepidation and slid a hand soothingly over her hair. “I’m not Sir Lancelot. I’ve done my share of horror. Far more bad than good. The powers decided I couldn’t enter the pearly gates given my past. At least not yet.”

“Where will you go then?” Buffy bit her lip.

“Already there, luv.”

Overcome with emotion, Buffy sobbed. She roughly kissed him on the mouth. Afterward, she scrambled up and took his hand. She tugged him toward the hall.

“There’s someone else who will want to see you.”

Spike stiffened.

She rubbed his arm. “It’s all right, Spike.” She smiled. “I told her. I promised to tell her how great her daddy was, remember?”

Unsure, he continued. They entered the bedroom. It was exactly like what Buffy dreamed during her coma, girly with pink.

Spike stared at the slumbering child, full of wonder. Buffy knew if she didn’t do something he’d remain there on the other side of the room. She nudged him forward.

“Go say hi,” she urged.

He knelt down at the side of the toddler bed. “She’s so beautiful.”

“Looks like her father,” Buffy said fondly.

“She’s big.”

“She’ll be four in two months.” She paused. “You know, she isn’t made of glass. You can touch her and she doesn’t chip or scratch or anything.”

The vampire took his left hand up. He brushed a dirty-blond lock off his daughter’s face to get a full view of her angelic features. She suddenly stirred. He turned quickly to Buffy for aid as to what to do. All she did was smiled in encouragement.

Dawn opened her eyes. Blue met blue. It didn’t take long for one of them to take action. Dawn smiled warmly.
“Daddy?”

Spike’s eyes glistened. “That’s right, kitten.”

“You came home.”

“That I did.”

Her small arms reached out. Spike lowered himself to accept the embrace. Buffy watched the display with tenderness. She longed to come forward and enter the reunion as well. But she dared not move. She couldn’t risk breaking the perfect-ness of it all.

“Will you be here in the mornin?” Dawn questioned.

“Not going anywhere, nibblet,” Spike said. “Never again.”

“Good, cuz I’m tired.”

“Close your eyes then. Daddy will be here when you wake.”

She scooted over to make room on the bed. “Stay?”

He crawled up beside her. She cuddled against his chest with a smile. Spike looked across the room to Buffy, who hadn’t moved. That was all the incentive Buffy needed. She made her way over. She settled on the other side of Dawn.

It would have been a comical sight for any observer. The two adults barely fit on the edges of the children’s bed. Despite being on the verge to tumble off, they shared the most restful night of their existence.

Who knew what tomorrow would bring. It didn’t matter. Whatever it was they had each other to face it with.

_____________________________________________________

Thanks, everyone, for sticking around to the end. I love you all.

Now I’ll get to work on Second the First, sequel to Replay.

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