The Two Janes
by Kari Mouke

Chapter 1: Her Savior

    She was dying. The tiny being inside of her was draining her life away. It was also the only thing keeping her alive. Irony is a bitch. She was lying in the corner, curled in on herself. The only light in the room was filtered in from a dull bulb in the hallway. The pain was intense. It had started coming on slowly in her second trimester. She’d been weak in the first one, but she’d blamed it on heartbreak. After all, love’s a bitch too.

    She was six months along now, not that you could tell. She was terribly emaciated. What had begun as draining and painful had become debilitating two days ago. She could barely even swallow water. She’d tried blood, weeks ago. It didn’t help. Even human blood, which was expensive, brought her no nourishment. She had stopped herself from picking up the phone. One call. He’d come. He’d help; if help could be found. But she couldn’t risk it. Too much pain. Perhaps death was better for all concerned. It wasn’t exactly like she understood what was inside of her. This beloved child. The savior of her heart. Maybe it was never meant for this world.

    She was growing weaker now. She could feel her heart beat slow. She thought of heaven. She remembered heaven. It was a place of peace. Maybe she and the baby could go there. Live in peace… She felt a tingle on the back of her neck. Vampire. In her house. How could it get in? Did she care? This death would be familiar. Almost like coming home. Suddenly, she welcomed it.

    She felt icy cold fingers slip around her neck. She found herself in strong arms. Cold arms. Comforting arms. She tried to open her eyes, but was stopped by a soft “Shh…” The creature laid her gently down on the bed. Buffy waited for the strike, but instead she felt something wet against her mouth. She opened wide to protest, when it hit her. Slick and sweet it poured down her throat. She began to swallow. Sucking and swallowing. She’d never tasted anything so good.

    “That’s enough, my child,” a voice Buffy knew said sweetly by her ear as the wrist was removed from her mouth.

    Buffy looked up at her savior. “Dru?”

    “You were expecting the Queen, I take it?” Before Buffy could form an answer, Dru continued, “Well, the Princess will have to do.”

    “How’d you get in here? Why?” Buffy was full of confusion. She could feel Drusilla’s blood coursing through her body. Making her strong. Making her child strong. It gave a kick and Buffy laughed.

    Drusilla clapped her hands and then put them tenderly on Buffy’s stomach. “Oh, I feel that. I do!” She leaned over and placed her lips on Buffy’s rounded tummy. She gave it a kiss. “Now, now, no worries. Granny’s here. I’ll take care of my babies.” She reached a hand out to stroke Buffy’s matted hair.

    “But how?” Buffy asked her again. Not really caring. She was so relieved, so happy to have someone, even a soulless demon, even a crazy soulless demon. It was good to have someone. So good.

“How? Miss Edith of course. She said you were calling me. She told me all about it, and how you lost Spike. Just like me.” Drusilla said quietly.

    “How did you get in?” Buffy wanted to know.

    “You were calling me. You needed your Mum. Now, sleep, my daughter. Mummy needs to go out for a bit, but I’ll be back.” She placed a porcelain doll beside Buffy. “Miss Edith will keep you company while I’m gone.”

    Buffy closed her eyes as Drusilla laid a blanket over her and left the room. She thought back to how she got here, with no one but Drusilla to save her.

 

Chapter 2: Losing Spike

 

   They had finally defeated the first evil. It couldn’t be killed, but it could be suppressed. Giles figured they had weakened it for about a few hundred years. Someday, it would rear its head again, but that would fall on another slayer’s shoulders. Buffy had done her part.

    Giles was able to place all of the potential slayers with newly recruited watchers. All accept Kennedy, who wanted to stay in Sunnydale with Buffy as her guide and Giles as her watcher.

    It happened one night. Dawn was spending the night with a friend. Kennedy and Willow were at the Bronze and Giles was escorting the last potential to her new home in Toronto. Buffy and Spike were sitting on the couch watching television. Buffy sighed and pointed her toes.

    “What’s this, then?” Spike asked her.

    “Just releasing the last bit of tension. Taking a deep breath… and then letting it all flow out.”

    Spike chuckled. “Wish that would work for me.”

    “Try it.” Buffy encouraged him by giving a repeat performance. “Breath in, point your toes and exhale.”

    He just looked at her with one raised brow.

    “What?” She demanded.

    “I have too much dignity for that.” He said and turned back to the television.

    “Dignity? You? I don’t think so.” Buffy snorted and reached for the controller.

    He held it up above her head. “I don’t think so, Slayer. I’m the man and the man gets the controller.”

    “Oh, yeah?” she said with a warning glint of mischief in her voice.

    Not one to back down from a challenge Spike looked her right in her beautiful green eyes and said, “Yeah.”

    She jumped on him and tried to pull his arm down. When that didn’t work she tickled him under his raised arm. He jerked his arm down and she grabbed the controller and then sprang back to the other side of the couch. Spike grabbed her feet and pulled her back. He jumped on her now prone form and stretched a hand out for the controller.

    Suddenly, they realized what position they were in. Spike felt himself grow hard. He started to get back up but Buffy stopped him with two words. “Spike, don’t.”

    “Are you sure?” He asked lowering back down to her.

    “Very. I think maybe there’s still some tension I could work out.” She smiled at him seductively.

    He gave a little growl and claimed her mouth in a crushing kiss. How he loved this woman. He’d been content to just be able to be in the room with her; to have her trust him enough to sit on the same couch. Now she was kissing him. His heart soured. His soul sang.

    “Spike, too much clothes!” Buffy gasped, pulling away from him to take her tank top off. He pulled his T-shirt over his head and tossed it in the air. He reached for his pants but Buffy beat him to it; her little hands working frantically at the buttons. He stood up, pulling her with him and they both wriggled out of their jeans. Spike grabbed her panties and gave her a wicked grin. They had little bows on the sides and with one tug of the tiny strings the pink scrap of silk floated to the ground.

    She gave a cry as his fingers entered her. First one and then another. She thought about grabbing his penis, but she was afraid that if she let go of his arms she would fall. He kept working his fingers in and out, and in and out until he felt her stiffen and quake. He loved the power he held over her at moments like these.

    “Next time, I’ll be in you, luv,” he whispered in her ear.

    “Now, Spike, get in me now!” She demanded and pulled him on top of her as she fell back onto the couch. He pushed into her warm wet walls and couldn’t stop the groan of pleasure as it left his mouth. He moved inside of her as he caught the pink tip of one nipple with his teeth. He sucked it, slow and soft at first and then harder and harder as she slammed her hips up to meet his. He could feel his orgasm building up, he wanted it to last forever, but it had been so long, and she was hot and tight and he loved her so much. He felt her stiffen and cry out beneath him and he let himself go. He growled as he spilled his seed deep inside of her.

    They lay there, exhausted with Spike resting heavily on top of her. He worried that she couldn’t breathe, so he grabbed her around the waist and flipped their positions. She laughed and rested her cheek on his bare chest. She loved this feeling; her warm naked skin against his cool hard body. It was amazing. He was amazing. Man, how she had missed him.

    He ran a hand through her golden hair. She looked into his eyes and smiled.

    “I love you Buffy.” Spike said.

    She didn’t say anything. She just stretched up and softly kissed his mouth. Spike stayed very still. His undead heart felt like it had cracked in two. He stayed still while she fell asleep on top of him. After about an hour or so, he got out from underneath her. She stirred and made a soft protest. He bent down, “Shh, luv. Go back to sleep.” He kissed her temple and walked away.

********

    Dawn heard a scratching at the window. She looked over at Janice who was sleeping soundly. She slipped her legs out of bed and padded over to the window. It was Spike. She opened the window. “What are you doing here?” She hissed. It would be so embarrassing if Janice woke up.

    “I couldn’t leave without saying goodbye.” He looked down at the ground. They hadn’t been as close since she had found out about what he had nearly done to Buffy, but still he loved the little chit and couldn’t leave without telling her.

    “Why?” was all Dawn said.

    He looked up at her and she could see it; the sadness in his soul. “Because she’ll never love me. Maybe if I’m gone… Maybe she’ll let someone else love her. Get a chance at life. Me too, even.”

    Dawn’s eyes filled with tears. All of the anger at what she felt to have been his betrayal evaporated. All that remained was the love. “I understand. I hate it, but I understand.”

    “Right, then.” He sniffed. “Love ya, little bit.”

    She placed her hand up to the screen. He put his hand up too. “I love you, Spike.”

    Buffy was an idiot, Dawn thought as she watched him walk away. She buried her face in the pillow and cried her self to sleep.

 

Chapter 3: All Alone

 

    Buffy woke up on the couch alone. She stifled a feeing of disappointment. She was hoping to wake up with Spike. He was probably worried about Willow and Kennedy seeing him. It was okay, though. This time Buffy was going to make sure everyone knew that she was sleeping with the vampire. Accept it or shut up. That was going to be her new motto.

    She made her way down to the basement. No Spike. She headed to the bathrooms. No Spike. Kitchen. No Spike. Bedrooms. No Spike.

    She knocked on Willow and Kennedy’s bedroom. “Come in.” came a muffled Willow voice.

    “Uh, hi guys, is Spike in here?” Buffy asked.

    “No, Buff, not our style,” Willow said looking at her quizzically.

    “Oh, I didn’t mean… It’s just that I can’t find him anywhere and it’s daylight out…” Buffy trailed off. She had a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach.

    “You know Spike, Buffy, he probably ran out of cigarettes and went out for a pack and got stuck by the sun. He’s probably puffing away, waiting it out in some dark alley.”

    “Yeah, I’m sure you’re right. Sorry to wake you,” Buffy said.

    “No problem. If he doesn’t show after sunset we’ll help you look for him,” Willow offered.

    “Sure, thanks.” Buffy shut the door. Her hands started to shake. She slid down against the wall with her knees pulled slightly to her chest. Dawn came up the stairs and saw her sister. Buffy looked up and saw Dawn’s eyes swollen and red. “He’s gone isn’t he?” she whispered.

    Dawn shook her head yes. She’d planned on coming home and reading the riot act to Buffy, but seeing her like this…

She sat down beside Buffy and pulled her into her arms. Buffy’s silent sobs heaved against Dawn’s chest. Dawn just held her. There were no words. What could you say to someone who had just made the biggest mistake of their lives?

********

    Spike wondered to Los Angeles. Thought maybe he’d spend some time with his pouf of a grand-sire. Get some soul instruction. He checked into a hotel he knew of; one that catered to a variety of clientele. The first night out he was locking his door, getting ready to head over to the hotel, when he heard a familiar voice behind him. “Hey, Spike.”

    Spike turned around to stare at the red haired werewolf. “Oz. Fancy meeting you here.”

    “Yeah, fancy,” Oz said eyeing the bleached blonde with care.

    “Don’t worry. Got myself a soul, so you can keep your fur in,” Spike snarked.

    “Okay. Cool. What are you doing here?”

    “Getting on with my life. You?” Spike asked.

    “Yeah,” Oz said. “You want to get drunk?”

    “Sounds good.” Spike said.

    They spent the night knocking back drinks like only a werewolf and a vampire could. Spike told Oz everything that had happened with Buffy, and Oz told him all about him and Willow.

    “Sunnydale women, man…” Oz said taking a long pull of his beer.

    “Yeah, never fall for a woman from the Hellmouth,” Spike said.

    “I’ll drink to that,” Oz said, and he did.

    As the days went by Spike settled into a routine in L.A.. He’d talked to Angel, not mentioning Buffy, except to say he didn’t want anyone to know where he was. Angel didn’t understand but he agreed. It would be nice to have Spike around, Angel thought, someone like him. It would be good.

Spike helped out with Oz’s new band. Manager/Roady. It was largely night work. He even started dating one of the band member’s sisters. She was human, but her brother was a werewolf like Oz, and also a damn fine drummer. Her name was Dana and she helped keep the werewolves caged during the full moon.

    She was gorgeous. As tall as Spike, thin, with long brown hair. She didn’t mind him being a vampire. She thought it was cool. Life was good. He thought maybe, he might even be falling a little in love. Not the soul wrenching obsessive love he had had with Buffy and Drusilla, but a sweet, soft, gentle kind of love. It was a good thing, a very good thing.

 

Chapter 4: Letting Go

 

    Back in Sunnydale. They tried to comfort Buffy. She had slipped into a depression. No one could find Spike. No one could help Buffy. She slept all of the time. Xander had given up his apartment and renovated the basement into a bachelor pad. Someone had to support the Summer’s women. Buffy couldn’t do it. She couldn’t do anything anymore. Just sleep. Xander felt bad. He felt guilty, maybe if he hadn’t been so hard on her about her relationship with Spike…

Willow and Kennedy did most of the patrolling. Anya, Xander, and Dawn did the rest. The slayer was too weak.

    Buffy lay in her bed. She knew she should get up. This was pointless. She’d driven him away. It was probably for the best. They all left eventually. She had thought that if she never told him; that if she never said the words ‘I love you’, then maybe he wouldn’t go. He’d said he’d never leave her, but he had. Why was she so unlovable?

    She heard a noise at her window. She lifted herself up. “Spike?” Her heart soared.

    “No, it’s just me, Clem,” The fleshy demon said.

    “Why are you on my roof?” Buffy asked.

    “I wanted to tell you something, without the rest of them knowing,” he said.

    “What, Clem? Tell me what?” Buffy was praying; please let it be about Spike.

    “It’s about Spike. I know where he is,” Clem said and pushed a piece of paper towards her.

    She felt a little surge of energy. “Thanks, Clem. Thank you so much.” She had tears pouring down her face.

    “Sure, I know you wouldn’t want them to know. Spike told me how they feel about him.

    “Yeah, thanks again, and Clem? Don’t tell them… I don’t want them to know I’m going. They wouldn’t let me leave. They’re worried I’m losing it up here.” She pointed to her head.

    “You got it Buffy,” he said turning away.

    Buffy got out of bed on shaky legs and packed a few things. She opened her jewelry box and dumped the contents into her purse. She might have to pawn a few things to make it to Los Angeles.

    An hour later and she was shocked at how much money she had gotten for a few of her mother’s things. Way more than she’d ever need. She pushed aside the guilt she felt and said a little prayer hoping her mother would understand. After all, she had really liked Spike.

The bus ride was uneventful. She made her way to the hotel written on the piece of paper. She got in the elevator and headed up to the fourth floor. She gasped as the door opened and revealed Oz waiting to get on.

    “Oz!” Buffy exclaimed.

    “Buffy!” Oz said and quickly got in the elevator and held her there until the doors closed.

    “What are you doing, Oz?” She asked as he pushed the ground floor button.

    “Keeping you from ruining a man’s life,” he said.

    “What?” She asked incredulously.

    “Spike. He’s in love. He’s happy. He has someone who is actually capable of loving him back. You can’t take that way from him just because you’re lonely or horny,” he said harshly.

    “I’m not… What do you mean? It’s only been a few months, how could he…” She almost said ‘forget me.’

    “Look, I’ll show you.” Oz led her out of the building and down the street.

    “Oz, wait! Please, slow down.” She was trying to keep up with him. He slowed giving her a quizzical look.

    “I’ve had the flu. I’m still getting over it.” She said, thinking, ‘yeah, in another six and half months.’ She’d snuck out for the pregnancy test three weeks ago. She’d known the answer before the pink stripe showed double.

    They walked for another block and he stopped her and then pointed to a window. It was a Greek restaurant. She could see easily inside of the brightly lit establishment. There was Spike, her Spike, laughing and looking so normal. Beside him was a beautiful girl, about her own age, staring dreamily into his eyes. Oz was right, he looked happy. She hadn’t seen him look like that since Dru. She certainly hadn’t ever made him look like that.

    “Does she know?” Buffy choked out.

    “Yeah, she knows and she loves him anyway,” Oz said accusingly.

    “Good. Good for her,” Buffy said softly. She took a piece of paper out of her purse and a pen.

    “I’m not giving him a letter from you, Buffy. I don’t even want him to know that you were here,” Oz said backing away from her.

    “It’s not for him, Oz,” She said, writing furiously. “It’s for Willow, Dawn, and Xander.” She looked at him. “I know what you think of me. Understand: I think the same thing, but please, on whatever friendship we once shared, mail this letter to my house. Make sure the post mark is from somewhere else, so they don’t hassle Spike,” She explained to him.

    “Okay. You’re not going back?” He asked.

    “I can’t. They’ll have to get Faith out of prison. This slayer is dead.” She handed him the paper and left.

    She went straight to the bus stop. Telling herself all along ‘breathe, breathe, breathe. Just don’t stop breathing. Think of the baby. It’s a part of him. A part of him no one else will ever have. The baby will never leave you.’

She made it as far as Washington State. She was tired and she was dizzy. She pawned the rest of her mother’s jewelry and got herself a room. She had $12,000.00 in cash and two changes of clothes. She closed her eyes and went to sleep. She never broke down, it was pointless, she had been grieving for so long it had become a constant rhythm like her heartbeat.

 

Chapter 5: A Little Tender Loving Care

 

    “Mummy’s back.” Drusilla sang sweetly as she entered the dingy little room. Buffy had been able to leave the motel and rent out what could only be described as a shack in a not so nice part of town. She’d done every sort of job she could think of; including delivering papers, until she just couldn’t work at all. She became too weak, but hey! at least not being able to digest anything saved a lot of money on food. Drusilla had found her just in time; just before death.

The dark beauty sat down on the bed and picked up the doll. “Miss Edith, was Buffy a good girl while Mummy was gone?” Apparently Miss Edith had said yes, because Dru squealed “Good! Then she shall have a treat.” Before Buffy could say anything Dru yelled, “Oh Mitchell, come in please.”

    A young fledgling vampire entered the room with an evil looking smile on his face. He looked down at Buffy and then back up to Dru. “Gee, thanks for sharing.” He walked to the bed and bent down to Buffy’s neck. Buffy looked up at Drusilla, who gave the slightest of nods.

Suddenly, the vampire’s eyes shot open wide! He started to flail. He thought ‘What the Fuck?’ She was drinking him. She was human! He could hear her heartbeat. Then the sound of it speeding up was the last thing he heard before he turned to dust.

    Dru clapped her hands in delight! “That’s my girl. That’s Mummy’s girl. Now, my sweet grandbaby will be happy and strong.” She looked down at the girl on the bed. She was so pretty with her green glowing eyes and her tiny pointed teeth. She was just like a doll. Drusilla sat down on the bed and took Buffy’s hand in her own. “You’ll never leave Mummy will you?”

    Buffy leaned into Dru, putting her head on her breast. “Never. I will never leave you.”

     And she wouldn’t.

********

    Dru had made arrangements for Buffy to do some work. The vampire slayer was stronger than ever, only know she was the vampire hunter. Certain people paid Dru and Elizabeth a whole lot of money to kill things. Things that most people couldn’t kill. For an insane woman, Drusilla was amazingly business savvy. Sure, she consulted with Miss Edith and the pixies in the middle of a business meeting, but as long as she and Elizabeth got the job done – their clients could care less.

    They were able to buy a lovely home in a quiet residential part of Seattle a few weeks before the baby’s due date. The neighbors thought they were a lovely couple – so progressive. They never even noticed that they only saw the dark haired girl at night.

    “It’s coming my darling,” Dru said entering their bedroom one night.

    “What’s coming, Drusilla?” Buffy asked idly. She was accustomed to Dru’s musings. She’d even become accustomed to Dru’s killing so long as she fed on the dregs of society. She marveled at her mentor’s ability to find and take down stalkers. They were Dru’s specialty. She was a genius at it.

    “Labor, my dear one.” Dru explained. “Mummy is going to go out and bring a little something home for you to eat. We’ll chain it in the basement until you need it. Labor takes a lot out of a woman, I know, I’ve been watching the telly.” She swirled out of the room dressed in what Buffy thought of as one of Dru’s Stevie Nicks ensembles.

    Labor, huh? Oh, boy. She was a little scared. She thought of him; her blonde beauty. He looked like an angel with those blue eyes. She wondered if their baby would be blue eyed. It would probably be blonde, at least while it was young. Oh, Spike. How could you not be here for this? A single tear rolled down her cheek. She wiped it away. Better get busy. Drusilla’s predictions were seldom wrong.

    She set out the video camera and changed the sheets. She walked into the nursery and did a mental check. They had everything they needed. Just as they had yesterday and the day before. She looked around the room. It was done in red and black – Spike’s favorite colors. It had been Dru’s idea and Buffy had thought it very sweet. Dru had been remarkably sweet all along. Deep down inside Buffy knew the woman was evil, but she had been so good to Buffy. When Buffy’s soul cried out, it was Drusilla who had come. Maybe the powers that be meant for this to happen. Maybe they had sent Drusilla to rescue her.

    Buffy took a deep breath. Cramps. Starting at her back and moving forward. She started to walk around the room. She and Drusilla had studied everything they could on midwifery. This was not a child that could come into this world via the human world of hospitals. They were both pretty sure this baby would be born with distended canines and glowing eyes.

    She heard Drusilla come in, talking low with someone else. The food. After a few minutes Drusilla came up the stairs smiling.

    “Does it hurt?” she asked.

    “Yes. More and more,” Buffy said.

    “How delightful! Keep walking! Keep walking!”

    Buffy resumed her pacing. Eleven hours later, Tara Joyce Williams made her appearance into the world. She was screaming mad. Her eyes glowed blue, not yellow, and she had two tiny little fangs. She didn’t stop screaming until her Granny placed her on her mother’s breast.

    “She’s a greedy little thing,” Drusilla said fondly.

    “Just like her Daddy.” Both women said together and laughed.

********

    Tara was a beautiful baby. Her eyes were shaped like her mother’s; large and dewy, but they were the clear blue of her father’s. She had downy, white-blonde hair curling on the top of her head. Her temperament, the women decided, was entirely her father’s. They doted on the little girl. Their miracle child. They had to be very careful not to take her out too much; despite how much they wanted to show her off. If strangers got their finger’s too close, Tara would inevitably try and bite them.

    “Manners, miss!” Dru declared to her grandchilde. “We don’t bite people, unless we are going to eat them.”

    Buffy laughed and took the baby from Drusilla. “We don’t eat people at all, little miss. It’s wrong. Only Granny gets to eat people, evil people.”

    Dru sighed heavily. “Your right, my daughter. Tara will not crave human blood. Like her mother, the slayer, she will crave the blood of vampires.” Dru shook her head sadly.

    “Hey!” Buffy said petulantly. Dru looked at her quizzically. Buffy pointed to the child latched onto her breast. “This sucks. If Spike hadn’t left me, then he totally could have nursed her.”

    Drusilla thought about it for a moment and then burst into laughter. Buffy started laughing too. She loved how Drusilla seemed to be getting better. Saner. She would always be wildly eccentric, but having Buffy and Tara seemed to heal something inside of the woman Angelus had broken so long ago.

 

Chapter 6: Back to Work

 

    When Tara was four months old the Williams women decided to go back to work. On paper, to the legal world, Buffy was Elizabeth Williams, and Drusilla-- so help her-- was Cookie Williams. Buffy had asked her why. Dru had shrugged her shoulders and said, “Why not?”

    In the demon community, the community that employed them; they were known as The Two Jane’s. It was Drusilla’s idea again. She said it was pointless to pick two names. Everyone knew they were aliases anyway, so why bother? Buffy had just laughed and gone along with it.

    “Now, my darling, my daughter, don’t be mad, but this job is in Los Angeles,” Drusilla said carefully.

    Buffy jerked her head around, sputtering, “You must be joking!”

    “No, why would I? It’s a lot of money. The more we invest now, the less we have to work in our old age.” Drusilla had been reading Money magazine again.

    “My old age you mean,” Buffy grumbled, setting a bag out for the baby’s things.

    “It was a turn of phrase, my sweetling. You will no more have an old age than I will.” Drusilla said a matter-of-factly.

    Buffy’s hand stilled on a pair of white booties. “What do you mean?”

    “Miss Edith told me. Spike’s blood, my blood, Angel’s blood, Darla’s blood, the master’s blood, is all mixed in with the blood of the slayer; rumbly, bubbly, turning over while my grandchilde grew inside of you. You were turned. Not a vampire, but definitely not a human. Unless you’re decapitated or someone rips out your heart, you will be just as you are, always.” Drusilla got up and placed in arm around Buffy’s waist.

    “Don’t you want to stay with Mummy?”

    Buffy could feel Drusilla’s breasts pressed into her back and the sharp bite of her pelvic bones against her. She moaned and leaned back into her. “Always, Dru.”

    Both women looked over at the baby sleeping soundly in the crib. There was time before they left for their flight.

********

    The porter watched with carefully averted eyes as the two women got into the rental car – a black BMW. Black, like them. Goddesses of the night. Both women had cropped black hair that went just underneath their chin. They were both thin with black clothes and black sunglasses. The only light among them came from the baby. She was all blonde, blue eyed sweetness.

    After the women drove off, he made his way to the pay phone. “Angel Investigations?” An irritated female voice said.

    “Yeah, hi. Is Mr. Angel there?” He asked.

    “One moment please,” she said.

    “This is Angel.”

    “Mr. Angel, I was told to call you if I ever saw the dark haired vampire come into town, and well, she’s here,” he said.

    “She’s here? Thanks,” Angel said and placed the phone down.

    The porter went back to work. He never mentioned the baby or the other dark haired human. No one had asked about them. He never did more than he was told to.

********

    Angel looked up as the tall brunette entered his office. He cringed. This wasn’t his favorite human.

    “Hey, dead boy!” Xander called out to the vampire.

    “So not funny anymore, Xander,” Angel told him.

    Yeah, well, you know me; not funny Xander,” Xander said as he sat his duffel bag down. “You ready for a wild night of partying?”

    “I’m throwing it, aren’t I?” Angel asked.

    Xander looked at him quizzically, “Why is that?”

    “Because, I’m Spike’s Sire. It’s my job to throw the bachelor party and to be the best man.” He looked at Xander. “Why are you here?”

    “Oz made me come,” Xander said.

    “Okay. Well, we’ll head over to the hotel in a couple of hours. First, we have to wait on Wesley. He’s bringing some stuff over for a clouding spell,” Angel explained.

    “You want it to rain on Spike’s special day?” Xander was confused.

    “Not that kind of clouding. I learned that Drusilla is in town. I was afraid of something like this. I need a spell to make it so that she can’t sense either Spike or me. I figure as long as we are having the party at a place we don’t frequent and the wedding too, of course, there’s a chance she won’t be stepping in to kidnap the groom or anything.”

    “Good idea. I wish Buffy were here. She’d be a great body guard,” Xander said. No one else talked about Buffy. Like if they didn’t say her name she never existed and they never had to hurt. Xander hated that. She was his friend and some day she’d come back, all reasony and stuff, and they’d feel bad that they hadn’t had faith in her.

    Angel’s face took on his classic dark and brooding look. “No one’s heard from her, I take it?” He stared down at his wedding ring. He had married Cordelia. He loved Cordelia, but he would always love Buffy too.

    “No, nothing in a year. Just that first note saying she wouldn’t be back. That she was so very sorry and that she loved us. She said she was a failure. Can’t figure out about that part,” He said quietly.

    “It’s just as well that she’s not here. Spike seems very uncomfortable whenever the subject of Buffy is brought up,” Angel said.

    “Yeah, well, once obsessed…” Xander said throwing up his arms.

    “What do you mean? With killing her?” Angel wanted to know.

    “That and boffing her. Spike was creepily attached to that girl.” He decided to not mention the attempted rape thing. After all, Spike had a soul now; he was leading a new life. Xander wished he could have a chance at that.

    “Wow! He never said anything. Is that why he left Sunnydale? I mean the real reason?”

    “Yes, that was it,” Xander said quietly.

    Wesley came in and they did the spell. Then they headed on over to the penthouse suite. They loaded the liquor cabinet. Stacked the porno’s. Xander was particularly proud of the triple X spoof he found based on the defunct soap opera, Passions. They didn’t get a stripper because Spike didn’t want to upset Dana.

 

Chapter 7: Surprise

 

    Buffy was in and out in minutes. She’d walked into Wolfram and Hart, broken open the sealed room, and burned every last zombie. It was an ooky job, but someone had to do it. When she was done, she headed back to the hotel for a shower. She rode up and up in the quiet elevator. Drusilla loved top floors so long as the client was willing to pay. There were only four rooms on the penthouse level. Two side by side and two across. Each had a great view and an expansive balcony.

    Buffy slipped in at 9:45 and headed straight to the shower, trying not to wake Tara and Dru. Her two sleeping beauties. She noticed a good deal of noise coming from the suite next to theirs. She shrugged her shoulders. Hey, as long as it didn’t get any louder. She was looking forward to a good night’s sleep and a relaxing day off. It would be movies and giant Jacuzzi tub until sunset when they had a flight back to Seattle.

    She stepped out of the hot shower and quickly dried her short dark hair. It was funny how it made her eyes look even greener. Of course they glowed now, but still. She rubbed Dru’s favorite scented lotion all over her, just in case she got lucky and Tara slept through the night. She slipped into a black lace cropped, off the shoulder jersey and a pair of black silk pajama bottoms. Dru loved the feeling of silk and lace. Buffy loved to see how distracted she got when Buffy’s nipples showed through the lace. She giggled as she made her way to the bed. She sank down to give Dru a lingering kiss. Just as she felt her lover’s cold arms wrap around her, something banged against the wall, followed by loud masculine laughter. Gee wiz, it was after ten!

    Then she heard it, the first stirrings of Tara. She was going to wake up. Dru and Buffy got very quiet, Buffy held her breath, Dru didn’t need to. Tara settled herself back down to sleep. The women sighed and Dru lifted her hands to gently trace circles along Buffy’s nipples. Bang! More laughter. Tara came fully awake and let out a yell. A loud, I’m awake, somebody better feed me, kind of a yell.

    “Damn it!” Buffy swore getting up to pick up her daughter.

    Drusilla put an arm out to stop her. “Hush, my darling. Granny’s got it. I’ll feed the sprite and put her to bed out in the living room. You just get some sleep.”

    Buffy smiled at her gratefully and sank into bed. Drusilla picked up Tara and placed a finger into the baby’s mouth. Immediately soft sucking sounds could be heard as the other woman carried the baby out into the living room. Buffy closed her eyes and tried to shut out the loud noise. Just when she thought she’d tuned them out, the music got louder. The cheers got louder. The laughter got louder. Another thump against the wall. This time Buffy thumped back. Total quiet in the other room. Then a big purposeful thump against the wall. This time Buffy thumped and yelled, “Shut the hell up!” There was a lot of drunken laughter followed by that one.

    She growled. Really. She was pissed. Drusilla came in with a wide awake – I wanna play – Tara. “Buffy darling, I will gladly go have a talk with the neighbors. Or perhaps we could pull a mattress into the living room?” Drusilla suggested softly.

    “No, not good enough. I don’t want to sleep in there. This is the bedroom. We work hard to be able to sleep in places like this – not on floors!” Buffy yelled.

    Tara’s lip quivered. “Then I’ll go have a little talk with them then…” Drusilla said.

    “No, I don’t want them dead, just quiet. I’ll go.” Buffy got up pouting and leaned in to give Tara a nuzzle. “Mommy’s sorry, little bit. I didn’t mean to yell.”

    The baby gave her a happy little gurgle that let her mother know she’d been forgiven for yelling.

    Buffy stomped through the living room and grabbed her sunglasses. She put them on before entering the hallway. She went next door and knocked firmly three times. It got real quiet.

    “Who is it?” A voice sang out sweetly, followed by more drunken giggling.

    “It’s Santa Claus, now open up the fucking door before I kick it down!” Buffy growled. This time – open guffaws – but, the door opened. A man she did not know, but who her senses said was a werewolf stood in the doorway. He was a little bleary eyed. Buffy was pleased that he wasn’t human. If need be, she could simply knock everyone in the room out and not feel too guilty about it.

    “It’s well after ten o’clock at night. I’m trying to sleep. My baby girl is trying to sleep. Her grandmother is trying to sleep, and trust me young man, you do not want to piss Granny off!” Buffy told him.

    “Buffy?” A low accented voice said from in the darkened room.

    She couldn’t help herself, she walked in. The door shut softly behind her. “Spike?” She felt her heart thud hard against her chest. “What are you doing here?”

    “It’s a bachelor party. Spike’s getting married,” Oz, ever the watch dog, said evenly. Buffy looked up at him and that’s when she saw them; Angel, Xander, Wesley, and Gunn. All staring at her with their mouths open.

    “Xander!” She said so softly it was a whisper.

    “Buffy!” He leaped over the couch and ran to pick her up. He squeezed her tightly and swung her around.

    “Xander!” She squeezed him back gently. He stood still. “Uh, Xander?”

    “I’m not putting you down. I’m not letting you go.” She could feel his tears fall onto her shoulder. She let him hold her.

    “It’s okay, take your time,” she said.

    “Uh, Buff?” He said into her shoulder. “Don’t hit me, but are your breasts leaking onto my shirt?”

    She laughed and pulled back. “Yes. Yes they are. I am so sorry.”

    “You’re a mom!” He declared putting her down and laughing at the two round wet spots on his black shirt.

    “I’m a mom!” She looked into his eyes. ‘I’m a mom. Oh shit!’ Buffy realized that she needed to get Drusilla and the baby out the hotel. She turned around to go, but found the door blocked by Spike. She swung back around and found Angle blocking the patio doors.

    A huge tear fell down her cheek. “Don’t. I beg of you. Don’t make me hurt you.”

    The man she didn’t know chuckled. “Boy lady, you sure don’t know who you’re dealing with.”

    “No, Kale,” Spike explained. “You don’t know who we’re dealing with.”

    “We just want to be left alone. Please, don’t do this,” she begged.

    “We need some answers, Buffy, calm down,” Angel said.

    “There is no calm, Angel. There is only survival. I have a four month old daughter in there that needs her Mommy and her Granny. I will kill you. As much as I love…” She laughed, “a few of you in this room, I will kill each and everyone of you to keep my family safe.”

    “We don’t want to hurt your family, Buffy!” Angel said.

    Spike gave a bitter laugh. “Why the hell not? She doesn’t care about the family she left behind. About Dawn, Xander, Willow, Giles. What about that family?"

    “I made a choice, Spike. We all make choices. I did what I had to do,” she said evenly. “And I will do what I have to do now.”

    “Just tell us why, Buffy?” Angel asked. “We love you; we’d love your baby.”

    “Would you?” she said. Every preternatural thing in that room suddenly stiffened; now aware that the beautiful girl wasn’t human by the sudden flash of energy that rolled off of her. She took off her sunglasses. Her eyes glowed a warm green. She smiled and flashed her sharp fangs.

    Xander backed away and Buffy felt it like a stake to her heart. “You were turned… I wondered sometimes if…”

    “I can hear her heartbeat, Xander,” Angel exclaimed.

    “Oh, not dead then.” Xander still decided to stay away.

    “Well, I’m glad I got that hug in then.” Buffy looked at him and laughed harshly.

    “What happened, Buffy?” Angel asked. They both heard a click. A cross bow. Angel held a hand up to Gunn. Buffy didn’t even flinch. She just smiled more.

    “Won’t work, big guy, but fell free to give it a try,” She growled. “Just believe me, every one of you.” She looked around the room and lingered on Spike. “I can kill you before you can kill me. I’m harder than hell to kill. So let me walk out of here. I’ll get my daughter, Tara, and my… her grandmother and we’ll leave. We were not here on purpose. Trust me, if we’d sensed you ,we would have left without this confrontation.” She looked back to Spike. “I wouldn’t mess your wedding up for anything in the world. You may not believe me, but I want you to be happy. I need it.” She turned and walked to the door. Spike stepped aside. “Just ask Oz,” she said as she walked out the door and into her own room.

    She looked at Drusilla who had the bags packed and Tara in the car seat at her feet. “You heard?”

    Dru shook her head. “No, but I felt danger.”

    Buffy nodded her head and put her sunglasses on. She threw her jacket over her pajamas and then ushered her family out of the building.

********

    In the other room there was silence. Spike turned to Oz. “What did she mean, ask Oz?”

    Angel walked out onto the balcony. He needed to think. To process. What the hell was she?

    Oz looked at the vampire whose friendship had come to mean so much. “She came here about a year ago, looking for you. I told her that you had met someone else, that you were falling in love. I told her to go, to let you be happy, and she did.”

    Oz had kept his eye steadily on the vampire, so the human fist that caught him on the jaw came as a complete surprise.

    Xander stood over the werewolf. “Did you know how sick she was? Did you? My gosh! She couldn’t even get out of bed after Spike left. She wouldn’t eat! She wouldn’t talk! She wouldn’t live! I gave up everything, and moved in to take care of them. I paid the bills. I cracked the jokes. But there was no healing her! She came here, to you, and you told her to go.” Xander went for the werewolf again but cool hands pulled him back.

    Spike turned the whelp around. “What the bloody hell are you talking about?”

    “It’s over now, Spike. It doesn’t matter.” Xander suddenly felt sick and tired. “We tried, we didn’t know where you were, and by the time we knew, she was gone. It seemed pointless. We told you she left,” Xander tried to explain. Spike was about to let go of Xander when he caught a whiff of his shirt. “Angel!” Spike yelled.

    Angel came in through the doors with a startled look on his face. He couldn’t believe what he had just seen on the street below. Spike drug Xander over to Angel. “Smell.”

    Angel didn’t even need to bend over. “Blood. Your blood. My blood. Our blood.”

    “Why exactly would the slayer be leaking blood out of her damned nipples?” Spike growled.

    Wesley cleared his throat. “Spike, did you have sex with her?”

    Spike turned and growled. Angel grabbed him. “Answer the man, childe!”

    “Yes.”

    “How long ago?”

    “The night I left, thirteen or fourteen months ago, I guess.”

    Wesley hated to mention it, “She said she had a child.”

    “Tara,” Xander whispered.

    “Yes, she said her daughter was four months old. Gestational time is forty weeks, closer to ten months then nine,” Wesley finished.

    “You mean that’s my baby?” Spike said incredulously.

    “Most probably, yes.”

    “And it drinks blood?” Spike asked and shivered.

    “Apparently. I think we can all see why she left. Not everyone would welcome such a child,” Wesley pointed out.

    “I would have.” Angel spoke. “Why didn’t she come to me?”

    “Too close to Spike,” Xander said and everyone turned to look at him. “I know my Buffy and it’s more important for the ones she loves to be happy than for her. She’d do anything-- including leaving them so they didn’t have to watch her turn into a monster,” Xander said and then remembered something. “Oh no, no way. She wouldn’t…” Xander had a pure look of horror come over him. “Granny? Did she? Did she bring Joyce back?” It was almost a scream.

    “Calm down, Xander. Buffy would never do that,” Angel said.

    “Then who?”

    “Dru. Drusilla. I saw them jump into a black BMW. They had the baby with them,” Angel whispered.

    “Drusilla? That’s her family?” Spike was completely shell shocked.

    “Well, she was once our family, Spike.” Angel looked levelly at him and Spike turned away.

    “Angel,” Wesley said. The shaken vampire turned to look at his sometime friend. “You know what you have to do. She’s too powerful, if she’s evil…”

    Angel nodded his head. Why the hell was this happening? This was worse than not knowing where she was. “How do we find her?”

    “Start with the room. Search it. Then we’ll break into the hotel records. Try to trace the BMW,” Wesley broke off.

    “And when you find her?” Xander croaked.

    “Don’t think about it Xander. It won’t do you any good,” Angel told the younger man.

    “She didn’t feel evil,” Xander tried.

    “She was with Drusilla.” Angel let that explain everything.

    “If… if she’s evil, what will you do with the baby?” Spike whispered.

    “Cordy and I will raise it. We will raise it and we will see,” Angel told him

    “Don’t I get a say?” Spike looked up with anguished eyes.

    “Tomorrow night, Spike, you will be a married man. Do you think springing a baby on your bride is the right thing to do? A possibly evil baby?” Angle threw at him.

    Spike just looked down. This was too much. It was all too much. Too bloody confusing. His head hurt, as did his heart. His heart was screaming. He tried not to listen to it. He thought he’d beaten it down long ago. He went into the bedroom and curled into a ball on the bed in the dark. One look at her and all of the emotion he had locked away came rushing back. How he ached for that tiny girl. Why her? Why could she make him feel like this? He had to make his heart stop. ‘Shut the fuck up!’ he screamed silently.

 

Chapter 8: The Search

 

    “We need Willow,” Xander said. “She can hack into anything.”

    “You want to tell her something like this?” Oz asked.

    “Yes. I do. If there is any chance, any chance, that Buffy can be saved, then Dawn and Willow need to know. Buffy stood by Willow when she turned to the dark.” Xander went silent for a moment. “Besides, she’d kick my ass if she ever found out that I knew and didn’t tell her.”

    Oz nodded his head.

    “Yes, Xander,” Wesley said, “I do believe that would be helpful. Please, call them and have Willow bring her laptop.”

    Twenty minutes later Dawn and Willow stared in awe at the room before them. They knew something was up. They’d heard it in Xander’s voice, but the faces before them were shattered.

    Dawn spoke first, “Where’s Spike?”

    Kale answered, “He’s lying down.”

    “Why?” She demanded to know.

    Xander came over and wrapped his arms around them both. “You need to sit down.”

    “It’s Buffy.” Dawn said in a clipped tone. She’d tried to prepare herself for this day. Tried to be strong. She felt her legs give way. Willow and Xander both caught her. They led her over to one of the couches. Both women sat down and looked up at him. They dismissed every other person in the room but him and waited.

    “Buffy was here.” He stopped them in mid gasp. “She was with Drusilla.”

    “She’s been turned. Drusilla turned her and that’s why she left us?” Dawn cried. She could accept this. It made sense.

    “Not exactly, Dawnie. Please, just try to stay calm. She… she’s alive, but different. The vamp blood mixed with the slayer blood we think, turning her into some sort of hybrid,” Xander tried to explain.

    “That doesn’t make sense! I mean, why not before? Why not when she drank Dracula’s blood?” The room was filled with gasps.

    Xander got on his knees and looked them in the eyes. “She was pregnant. When Spike left she was pregnant – by Spike. The baby turned her. Into what, we don’t know. We need to find out. We need you to find her for us, Will.”

    Willow’s big eyes filled with tears. She nodded her head; it was such a slight movement. No movement at all really, and yet she felt like she was making a deal with the devil. If Buffy ran, she needed to. This was a betrayal, but if she was evil, then she needed to be stopped. Willow stood up with her lap top.

    Dawn got up and went into the bedroom. She shut the door. She locked it. She didn’t turn on any lights. She made her way to the bed, following the sounds of the thrashing figure in it. She sat down beside him. The thrashing stilled.

    “She loved you. She told me. After you left, I found her. She was leaning against the wall. She looked like she did when she was first brought back from the grave – lost and empty. It went down hill from there. She messed up. She’d always loved you. She just had herself convinced that if she ever said it, she would jinx it, and you’d leave, because everyone she loved left. You left anyway, of course. You promised her you wouldn’t, but you did.” Dawn growled out.

    Suddenly a low guttural voice hissed, “No, I did not!”

    Dawn jerked her head and saw a pair of yellow, glowing eyes. “Spike?” She whispered. She reached out a hand and touched his face. The eyes disappeared as a gentle kiss was placed on her palm.

    “Your soul?” Dawn asked in the barest of whispers.

    “It’s still banging around in here, but my girls need me, Dawn. I won’t let them die. I meant what I said to Buffy, I’d never leave her. I am mad as hell, literally, that the bloody soul was such a weak ass pansy! When I think of what she’s gone through, I hate, and hate makes the demon strong. Will you help me, nibblet?”

    “Of course! I don’t want Buffy dead. I don’t care what she is. I need her alive in this world,” Dawn cried.

    “Then you have to help me,” Spike said in desperation.

    “Okay. But how will you find her?”

    “My girls? I’ll find them. Damned soul clouded things up, but I can feel them. They’re headed north,” He said. “You need to make some sort of distraction, so that I can get out without letting them know who’s in the driver’s seat.”

    “Can’t you just take your game face off and quietly walk out?” Dawn asked.

    “Don’t want to risk it. Gotta keep the demon up front, pet. Can’t let the soul have control. A soul is a strong thing Dawn. It’s hard. I have to hold on to my hate and my fear,” He explained.

    “I understand, but I’m going with you so you’re just going to have to use me as a hostage. Plus, I have a car. My dad bought it when Buffy left. He thought it was better than a hug. It’s a black Jetta with very tinted, UV protected windows.”

    “Good girl. We’ll never fool Willow and Xander. They know I’d never hurt you – man or demon,” Spike said with certainty.

    “It’s okay; I think they’ll want to believe it,” Dawn said. “Secretly, I bet they want to help Buffy get away. I know I do.”

    “Okay, that’s them, but Angel, Oz, and Kale – they’ll be able to smell it if you aren’t afraid,” He warned her.

    “So, scare me.”

    He growled and savagely tore at her neck, careful not to hit any major arteries, but he wanted it to look bad. She didn’t scream, but she was definitely afraid. It was a sweet smell to Spike’s demon. He got up with his hand on the back of her neck and dragged her into the other room. He threw the door open and stayed against the wall. Every head in the room turned to look at them.

    Spike cocked his head, “Uh, uh, uh. Don’t move. Don’t fucking move. Any of you.” He had Dawn’s body carefully placed in front of him. “I’ve drained her pretty good. Don’t make me break her neck to finish her off.”

    No one moved. “Hello, Will,” Angel spoke sardonically.

    “Nice to see you, too, Grandpa. Now, I’m going to go get my women. I’m takin’ this bint with me for security.” He made his way to the door. Once it shut behind him, he pulled Dawn’s quivering body gently into his arms and ran to the stairwell.

********

    “Willow,” Wesley said, “work fast.”

    She nodded her head and cast a knowing glance at Xander, and then went back to her keyboard.

    “What the hell just happened?” Kale yelled. “Did he just leave my sister the night before her wedding?”

    “No, Kale, he didn’t. William the Bloody did. That was my Will,” Angel explained. “You’ve never even met him.”

    The young man punched the wall in frustration. “Would someone explain this to me?”

    Oz tried. Werewolf to werewolf. Friend to friend.

********

    Meanwhile, racing over the land in their dark rental car, Drusilla placed her hand across the seat to grip Buffy’s. She wished she could talk to the younger woman. Calm her down. This was the way things were supposed to be. Miss Edith had whispered into her ear, late at night, while Buffy was sleeping. That’s why Dru had set up the trip to Los Angeles; the money didn’t hurt anything either.

    Drusilla worried that Buffy would never be able to sit back and see what surprises life was to bring. She always wanted to be in charge, which, while not always a bad thing, could sometimes be dreadfully futile. Dru, herself, used to try to change things when she would see them coming, things the stars would show her, but now, since Buffy, it was all so much clearer. Buffy thought that Dru’s madness had dimmed because they were a family now. Silly girl, she’d had a family with Darla, Angelus, and Spike. No, it was the slayer blood, it had healing properties. From the very first taste Dru had taken of Buffy’s rich, warm blood, things had become clearer.

    Days later they arrived in Seattle without being greeted with sharp pieces of wood. Buffy sighed. She wasn’t worried about herself. She wasn’t evil. They probably wouldn’t kill her or the baby, but Dru, oh Dru, they would try and take her Dru from her. They would destroy her family.

    As soon as they walked into the door of their large modern style home, Buffy started setting up wards. Drusilla just smiled sweetly and took Tara in for a bath. When she finished with the doors and windows, Buffy began readying weapons. They’d find them here. They would also find them if they ran. At least here Buffy felt she had the home field advantage.

    She was standing at the sink, washing gun oil off her fingers, when she saw a black Jetta racing down the street. Buffy could feel the sun rise coming on over the horizon. The car came to a stop and then made a hard turn on to her drive way. Buffy stiffened. This was it. She moved her hand to the gun sitting on the towel on her left, her eyes stayed glued on the car. The doors flew open and Buffy’s jaw dropped. It was Dawn and Spike.

    She ran to the front door, weapons forgotten. The sun was coming up. She threw the door open and screamed, “Get your undead ass in here!” Spike dove through the door with Dawn running behind him. Buffy barely had time to slam the door shut when she was knocked to the ground by her tear-soaked sibling.

    “Buffy! Buffy! Buffy!” Dawn sobbed into her sister’s strangely dark brown hair.

    “Shh. Sweet, I know. I missed you too,” Buffy said as she pushed Dawn up with her into a standing position.

    Dawn looked at her sister. She was even more beautiful than before, beautiful and deadly. “Are you evil?” Dawn asked. “Not that it matters. I love you anyway. Heck, I’m not even human. Why would I care? I just want you to be okay.”

    Buffy’s eyes had filled with tears at the caring words of her sister. “It’s okay Dawnie, I’m not evil, just not human anymore.”

    A tension Dawn didn’t even know she’d been holding was released from her body. She sagged against Buffy. “Oh, good.”

    Buffy laughed but it turned into a sob. “Drusilla is though, Dawn, and I won’t have her hurt. She saved my life. She saved Tara’s life. We were dying, starving to death. I couldn’t figure out how to feed. Dru came and took care of us.”

    Dawn looked into Buffy’s eyes and nodded her head. “It’s okay, I understand. All that time I spent with Spike. Well, I was a lot closer to the soulless one than I am with the current one.” They both turned to look at the fully vamped out bleached blonde who was starring intently at the reunion before him, waiting his turn.

    Buffy let Dawn go and made a hesitant move toward Spike. He closed the distance and pulled her into a crushing embrace. He pulled her back, took a deep gaze into her green eyes, and then savagely claimed her mouth. Too much longing existed for him to be gentle. Buffy didn’t care, she felt it as much as he did; the desperation. When she pulled away to breathe, she looked up at him and ran her warm hand over his cool forehead, lifting an eyebrow at the bumps.

    “This is the only way to keep the soul down,” Spike said apologetically.

    Buffy felt bitter disappointment. “So, this is only a temporary thing. You being here.” She tried to untangle herself from his arms but he wouldn’t let her go.

    “I don’t know. I only know that I can’t let that lot hurt my girls. Stupid sodding soul! I never would have left you, Buffy. I love you. I will always love you. I need you to know that.” He was desperate for her to understand.

    Something broke loose in Buffy. Her soul became a little lighter. She leaned against him and sobbed quietly. “You didn’t leave us. You never left us.” She placed a hand on his heart. “I needed to hear that, Spike.” She pulled back and looked at him. “I also need you to know how sorry I am that I didn’t admit to myself-- and you-- how much I love you. I always loved you. If I ever die, I will die loving you.”

    He growled and started kissing her again. They broke off when they heard a soft coo coming from the hallway. Spike stilled as he watched Drusilla, his dark princess, walk down the hall with a baby in her arms. His baby. Dru looked so different. Her hair was cut and styled just like Buffy’s in a dark bob. She had black jeans on and a large, black wispy top. The light in her eyes was still the light of fairies, but the madness, he couldn’t see it.

    She smiled tentatively at him. “Hello, my William. You’ve been a naughty boy ignoring your princess, and your mate, and your daughter,” she said almost shyly as she made her way forward and placed the baby in his waiting arms. Before he looked down at his daughter he bent and gave Dru a soft kiss on her lovely round mouth. She gave a low moan and he laughed.

    Then he looked at what he was holding. Never, had he seen anything so beautiful. She was an angel. A soft, bald, downy little angel. Her eyes were enormous like Buffy’s, but they were blue like his. He could see a lot of himself in her. He placed a finger to caress the side of her cheek when suddenly she turned her little head and captured his finger in her mouth. Two tiny little fangs sucked greedily on his fingers. Spike laughed in amazement. What a wonder. A teeny, tiny little vampire slayer.

    Buffy walked over to Drusilla and wrapped her arms around her waist. She leaned her head onto the older woman; her mother, her savior, her lover. Drusilla lifted a hand and wrapped it around the top of Buffy’s head. Spike looked up and sucked in his breath. He was looking at the second most beautiful sight of his life; his dark ladies.

    “So, my turn. Give!” Dawn exclaimed holding out her arms for the baby. Spike reluctantly passed his daughter over. “This is your Auntie Dawn, sweetling.”

    The baby was annoyed at having the warm blood taken from her. She started to fuss but Dawn began walking and cooing to her. Tara decided she liked the pretty woman who smelled a lot like her mommy. She gave Dawn a tiny little smile and Dawn felt her heart melt with joy. She turned to look at the others, not even flinching when she noticed Buffy’s arms around Dru. “If you guys want to talk and stuff, I’ll watch Tara.”

    “That would be great, Dawnie, just let me nurse her first. She’ll be a lot easier to handle then.” Buffy walked over and pulled her little bundle into her arms. “Okay, Tara, time for breakfast.” The baby began kicking her little feet and making excited noises as her mother opened her shirt. Buffy unsnapped her nursing bra and placed the eager baby onto her breast.

    If Dru hadn’t grabbed onto Spike at that moment he would have sunk to his knees. “Cor, but that’s beautiful.” He’d never seen anything so pure before. He understood a bit more what was going on here. It was love. It was family. Drusilla and Buffy had created a home. A strange home to most, but a home. He wanted more than anything to be a part of this. The demon that he was screamed – “MINE!”

    When Tara had nursed off both breasts, Buffy unlatched the child with a soft ‘pop’ as she placed her finger in the side of Tara’s little mouth. She then got up and placed the contented child in her auntie’s waiting arms. “The nursery is down the hall and to the left. That’s where the diapers are,” Buffy said sweetly.

    “Huh?” Dawn asked, swallowing as she felt a hot rumble under her hand. “Eww! Gross!”

    Spike walked over. “Here, let me.”

    All the women looked at him. “Well, it’s just that I’ve never gotten to, and she’s my daughter. You know, it seems kind of important.”

    They all walked back to the nursery and watched in fascination as Spike laid Tara on the changing table. He unsnapped her velour one piece and pulled it up to her shoulders. All the while he talked softly to her. She loved it. She cooed and kicked excitedly. He found the tabs on the diaper and pulled them. He peeled it back and… “Bloody hell! It’s yellow! It looks like mustard! What the hell have you been feeding my daughter, Slayer?”

Buffy and Drusilla both started laughing so hard they had tears in their eyes. “That’s what breast fed baby poop looks like, Daddy. The blood she seems to absorb completely, otherwise it would be red and yellow; orange maybe?” Buffy declared between giggles. Dawn just looked disturbed.

    “How do you get it off?” Spike whined.

    “You use the diaper wipes, they’re in the white box on your right,” Buffy pointed to them.

    He opened the package and began using them to clean his daughter. By the time he was done, a quarter of the box was empty. He put the wipes in the dirty diaper which he tried to hand to Dawn. She just backed away.

    “Here, gimme!” Buffy said taking the offending object and putting it in the Diaper Genie.

    Spike very neatly put a clean diaper on Tara, snapped up her outfit, and picked her up. “I don’t see how something so sweet and precious could do anything so foul!” He turned to Buffy and Dru. “Does she do that every day?” He asked incredulously.

    “Several times a day, actually,” Buffy said.

    “And at night,” Drusilla added.

    “My word!” He just shook his head looking at his tiny daughter.

    “Here, I’ll take her again,” Dawn declared happily.

    “Oh sure, now you’ll take her,” Spike muttered, passing her off.

 

Author’s note: The soul thing is why I wrote this in the first place. It’s always bothered me that Angel was two different personalities and Spike was not.

 

Chapter 9: A Moment Only

 

    Dawn sat watching the TV in the living room while Buffy, Dru, and Spike went into the master bedroom to talk. The two women immediately sat down upon the bed. They just looked at him, both sitting with that stillness that only predators manage.

    “We don’t have much time. Between me fighting to keep this soul down and all of our mates trying to find you. They’ve got Willow on it, Buffy. They’ll be here soon.”

    “And how did you find us Spike?” Buffy asked quietly.

    “Your blood, my blood. It called to me.” He could feel himself growing hard at the thought. The women noticed, though they pretended not to.

    “Why didn’t Angel come right out after us then?” Buffy asked.

    “He never lets Angelus have control, at least not willingly,” Spike explained.

    “Spike?” Drusilla’s voice was low and filled with longing.

    “Yes, luv?” He looked at his sire.

    “Why are you way over there when we are right here? We have plenty of time before they come,” Dru purred.

    He made a single step towards them when two hands snapped out snake like and pulled him onto the bed. Both women laughed low in their throats as Spike’s head fell against the dark grey sheets. Buffy moved up behind him to hold onto his pale arms with her golden ones. She tugged on him so that his head crested between her legs. The smell of her arousal hit, threatening to send him over the edge. It was a good way to keep the demon in the forefront.

    “Your girls need you, Spike. You’ve neglected us something terrible,” Drusilla mock pouted. She pulled his shoes and socks off and bit the instep of his right foot. Spike sucked in a breath and involuntarily bucked his hips. Both women laughed. Drusilla pulled his pants off and frowned at the navy blue boxers.

    “Since when do you wear underwear, Spike?” Buffy asked with amusement.

    “Dana bought them,” he replied.

    Dru looked at him with an evil grin and ripped them in two. “Oops!”

    His erection sprang free. The tip of his penis landing on the edge of his black cotton shirt. Dru pushed her head in an upwards motion, licking his shaft as she went. She slowly unbuttoned his shirt. With her nails she carved a heart shape over his unbeating vessel. She licked the blood away.

    Spike heard a growl. He jerked his eyes up at the slayer. Her fangs were showing and her green cat-like eyes greedily looked down at the wound. Drusilla brought her head up with a tiny drop of blood falling back down on Spike’s chest. “Hungry my sweet?” she asked Buffy.

    “Please, Dru,” Buffy moaned and Spike could feel her nails bite into his skin.

    “Not until you beg him,” Drusilla said wickedly.

    Buffy let go of Spike’s arms and leapt from the bed gracefully. She undid the ties that held her top together and let if fall to the floor. She took off her bra and threw it at Spike. He had to stop himself from throwing Dru off to go after Buffy when the smell of her blood drifted off the bra.

    Dru grabbed him tighter and shook her head. Buffy pulled off her jeans. She left her barely there black lace thong on and walked back to the bed. She leaned over Spike, right above his face, letting her nipples graze his forehead. She whispered in his ear, “Please Spike, let me have some?”

    Spike knew these games well. “Some what, pet?”

    “Some blood, Sire,” she whispered again.

    The word Sire did him in. “Yes, Buffy, oh yes. Now!”

    Dru dropped back and let Buffy play at Spike’s nipples. Watching as she made tiny little bites and sucking gently at them. The dark beauty got off of the bed and took her clothes off. She got back on the bed and positioned herself over Spike. “Me first,” she said as she impaled herself on him.

    Spike felt his shaft shoved deep inside of Drusilla. He was home. Sweet home. If he let himself, he could cry. She began moving slowly up and down on him. Spike reached his hands down and placed a thumb on either side of Dru’s clit. He began rubbing up and down mimicking the vampiress’s lunges. She threw her head back. Near, so near. Then Buffy got behind Dru and put her hands on the other girl’s breasts. She began pulling on her nipples and sucking Drusilla’s neck as she rubbed her pelvis against Dru’s back.

    Spike made a sound between a growl and a scream. He had never in his wildest dreams imagined such bliss. “You’re killing me. You two are… I can’t…” he couldn’t finish as he suddenly poured himself into Drusilla. She smiled in triumph and said, “Ah, so soon?”

    Buffy growled and pulled Drusilla off of Spike. She laid her on the bed next to him. She pulled Dru’s legs apart and then began expertly laving the woman with her tongue.

    Dru relished the feel of Buffy’s hot tongue sliding over her folds and then rubbing circles over her clitoris.

    Spike leaned over and began sucking on Drusilla’s nipples. He knew how she liked it. He’d always known. Dru bucked and moaned as an orgasm blossomed through her body.

    She stroked the back of Spike’s head as he rested it on her chest. Buffy looked at the two of them. They belonged to her. She smiled and let the love she felt show in her eyes. “My turn?” She cocked her head to the side.

    Dru frowned, “I don’t know if our William has it in him, luv?”

    Spike sighed, “Nope, far too weak. Need nourishment.”

    “Something like this,” Buffy said provocatively spreading her legs and running a finger along one of Dru’s favorite veins.

    Spike looked at her. “Yeah, that’ll do.” He threw her back and latched himself onto her thigh. Dru laughed in pleasure at the sight of her lovers in such ecstasy. She moved herself closer to them. She gently pulled each of Buffy’s nipples, one at a time, in and out of her mouth.

    Buffy was moaning and grinding herself into the bed. Spike let go and raised himself onto his knees. Buffy stared greedily at his throbbing erection. “Spike, please!”

    “Please what pet?” he teased.

    “Please put that in me now!” she growled her demand.

    He threw his head back and howled as he dove between her thighs. So hot. So tight. So his. He began moving in and out of her. Slowly at first, and then gaining in momentum until finally, he was slamming into her hard, just as he knew she wanted it.

    Buffy’s orgasm came crashing out of her and her hot walls began pulsing hard around Spike’s cock. It brought him straight over the edge, and he spilled into her.

    The three lovers lay curled up in the satin sheets. Two dark haired beauties flanking one happy undead blonde. They slept until they heard a tentative knock at the door.

    “Yes?” Buffy asked sleepily.

    “Uh, Buffy, I think Tara’s getting hungry again,” Dawn said through the closed door.

    “She’s not crying,” came a sleepy Buffy voice.

    “Yeah, but uh, teeth,” Dawn looked down at her cute little niece and at each of her cute little fangs.

    “Okay. Let me shower and then I’ll be right out,” Buffy said. She turned to Spike and kissed him gently on the lips. She watched as his now blue eyes opened and looked at her. There was a wealth of sadness in those baby blues. Buffy felt it seep into her own deep green ones. “You’re back, huh?”

    “Yeah, Buffy, I…” He trailed off when she put her finger to his lips.

    “It’s okay. Dru and I know the score. You have to go. You’re getting married.” Buffy gave a sweet smile. Her heart hurt.

    “I don’t want to hurt Dana,” he tried to explain.

    “So, don’t. All Drusilla and I want is for you to be happy. We love you,” she told him simply.

    “I know. I wish I’d known before,” he said sadly.

    “Don’t go there, Spike. It will only hurt us both. I’ve already beaten myself to the point of death over that, and I can’t do it again. You forgave me when your demon was at the fore, can you forgive me now?” She held her breath waiting for his answer.

    “Of course. Dawn talked to me. I understand. I should have understood then. Can you forgive me for leaving?”

    “I already did. The moment you left.” She kissed him one last time and then walked into the bathroom.

    When he heard the shower go on he turned to Drusilla. “Thank you Dru. Thank you for being with her.”

    “You’re welcome,” she said quietly.

    “How did it happen? How did you…?”

    “She was dying, like she said earlier. The baby needed blood. Vampire blood. Buffy didn’t know. She tried human blood. It didn’t work. She was in a corner in some dingy shack, alone and starving to death. I came to her and she welcomed me. She was so very glad to have someone she knew take care of her. To touch her. She thought I’d come to kill her, and she didn’t care. Anything was better than the suffering.” Drusilla trailed off.

    “Why didn’t she just get rid of it?” Spike asked horrified by what she’d just described to him. He couldn’t stand the thought of Buffy suffering like that.

    “Because it was all she had of you,” Drusilla said evenly.

    “What have I done?” Spike cried.

    Dru turned to him viciously. “Stupid soul! Reconcile yourself to your demon!” She jumped off the bed and went to get in the shower with Buffy.

    Spike lay there alone. Thinking of all he had done. All he had yet to do. Dana. Sweet, gentle, loving Dana. How could he hurt her? He knew he should call her. Kale had postponed the wedding until tomorrow night. She must wonder what was going on. Had Kale told her? Told her everything? Spike new what he wanted-- that was easy-- but he needed to do what was right. He had to go back to L.A. and marry Dana. Make her happy and never let her know that she couldn’t come close to giving him the happiness that he had touched upon in this house.

 

Chapter 10: A Reckoning

 

    The occupants of the house waited quietly in the living room. They all four sat on the couch passing the baby back and fourth and waiting for the inevitable. Dru was the first to stiffen. “They’re here,” she said.

    Dawn insisted on being the one to open the door. She was going to try to explain things to Angel and Wesley. If she wasn’t satisfied by their response, she wasn’t going to let the wards down. She knew Willow would break through them eventually, but still it would give them a chance to arm themselves and get into fighting mode.

    She took a deep breath and opened the door. Angel, Wesley, Willow, and Xander stood outside. ‘At least there aren’t any werewolves to deal with,’ Dawn thought.

    “You’re okay,” Angel breathed out in relief.

    “Please, like Spike would ever hurt me!” Dawn snorted.

    “What? That was a ruse?” Angel yelled. “But I could smell your fear.”

    “Yeah, ‘cause I’d just been bit and you were trying to kill my sister and my niece!” Dawn said in that tone of voice that only teenagers could manage.

    Angel turned to Willow and Xander. “Did you two know she’d be okay?”

    They both nodded their heads. Angel just shook his. “Let us in Dawn.”

    “No, not until you listen to me,” she said in a very hard tone. “Buffy is not evil. Tara is not evil. They only drink vamp blood. Buffy still slays demons, only now she gets paid for it. Pretty, well too.”

    “Way to go, Buffster!” Xander exclaimed.

    Willow elbowed him, but she was smiling.

    “What about Dru?” Angel demanded.

    “Still evil, but…” Dawn started.

    “No buts, Dawn. Evil cannot be allowed to run unchecked,” Wesley said.

    “Unchecked? But she’s not. Buffy checks her. She’s not even really insane anymore,” Dawn said.

    “Really?” Angel asked with hope. Drusilla’s insanity weighed heavy on his soul. It would be a huge burden lifted if the girl he had broken could be made whole again.

    “Really. I mean she’s still a little eccentric. Gets visions. Talks to dolls, but yeah, good. Buffy doesn’t let her kill anyone who’s not evil She’s got a real knack for stalkers,” Dawn quipped.

    Angel winced. “Can we come in?”

    “Only if I can search you for weapons,” Dawn said seriously.

    “Okay,” Angel agreed.

    “Angel, don’t you think this could be a trick?” Wesley asked.

    Angel looked back at him and that’s when Wesley realized Angel didn’t want this to be a trick. He wanted this to be real. The hope on the vampire’s face was intense. Hope and need. For a moment Wesley wondered if any of them really understood these strange creatures. Then the answer came to him. Buffy, the slayer, she understood, and Angel needed understanding. Wesley nodded his head in acquiescence and then hoped he wasn’t walking in to his death.

Dawn searched them one by one and then she spoke the words to let the wards down. Everyone but Angel walked through the door. Dawn raised a brow.

    “I still need to be invited,” he said sheepishly.

    “Oh,” she said. Duh. Vampire. “Buffy could you ask Angel to come in?” Dawn yelled.

    “Angel doesn’t need an invitation, but I would be happy to give him one. Angel, come in and meet your granddaughter!” Buffy yelled from within the house.

    Everyone laughed. Angel hadn’t thought of that. Weird. He walked through the door and Dawn shut it gently behind him. Everyone was just sort of standing there eyeing one another. Buffy broke the silence. “Willow, would you like to hold her?”

    “Oh, yes. Big yes!” Willow beamed.

    Buffy got up and handed the baby to Willow. “Wow,” Willow said in awe.

    “Wow!” Xander echoed behind her. “Good job, Buff.”

    “Thank you,” Buffy said proudly.

    “I like your hair, Buffy.” Willow looked at her friend. Then a though hit her. “I haven’t hugged you? Why haven’t I hugged you?”

    Buffy came up and wrapped her arms around both Willow and Xander. “Because you thought I might be evil,” she said matter-of-factly.

    “Oh, yeah,” Willow said leaning into her friend’s hug. The baby gave an eager cry being that close to her food source. Buffy broke away. “Hungry, Tara?”

    Willow looked at Buffy. “Thank you for that, Buffy. When Xander told me…” She couldn’t finish for the quiver in her voice.

    “I loved her too, Will,” Buffy said taking Tara back. She walked to the couch and sat down between Dru and Spike. She pulled the black wrap around shirt that she was wearing to the side so that she could discreetly nurse the baby. Tara latched on greedily.

    Spike chuckled fondly. “That’s daddy’s girl.”

    Xander looked at him. “You’re a dad. That’s just – bizarre.”

    Spike didn’t even respond, looking at his child as she stared deeply into her mother’s eyes. This was beauty, this was truth, and this was the world at its finest.

    Angel watched his childer. All four of them. Two vampires, a vampire slayer, and a tiny baby. He felt his knees give way and he stumbled to a chair. Dru got up and went over to him. She got down on her knees and put her head in his lap. “Hello, my Angel,” she said softly.

    “Hello, Drusilla,” he said running his fingers through her silky hair. He felt the tears slide down his face. Was this his gift? This beautiful little family. Was this his gift from the powers that be? Even though he couldn’t really be a part of it. He had L.A. and Cordelia and Connor to go back to, his human family. But somewhere in this world he would always know – he had another.

    In the end, Willow and Xander decided to drive back home with Dawn after they got to spend sometime with Buffy. Wesley arranged for Angel, Spike, and him to fly home. There were no ugly shows of emotion. Just a short, sad goodbye. Though when Spike leaned down to kiss Tara on her soft, sweet forehead, even Wesley couldn’t stop a tear from trailing down. The three men left the house and got into a waiting cab. Buffy came running out of the door with a large black duffel bag.

    “This is for you,” she said handing the bag to Spike. “It’s video tape. Drusilla has been taping us since I was in the last month of pregnancy. We’ll keep taping so that you don’t miss anything.”

    “Thank you,” he said taking the bag. As the cab rolled away, he closed his eyes. Who were they kidding? He was missing everything.

 

Chapter 11: Dana

 

    Angel called Cordelia from the airport and told her everything that had happened. He said he wanted to stay with Spike until after the wedding, but that Wesley was on his way back to the Hyperion. She said she understood and told him she loved him. He and Spike arrived at Spike’s apartment emotionally spent and physically exhausted. They opened the door to find Dana standing in the living room.

    “Courage, boy,” Angel whispered and subtly pushed Spike forward and closed the door.

    “What’s going on Spike? And you’d better make it good!” she said with her fists clenched at her side.

    “We ran into some old friends and Angel and I had to see if they were okay. I am so sorry we had to postpone the wedding,” he stated simply, dropping the duffle bag on the kitchen table.

    “What’s that?” Dana said zeroing in on the bag.

    “It’s a gift from our friends,” Spike explained.

    “Okay, but what is it?” she asked. Her instincts were screaming and they said make him open that damned bag. Kale had come to her, said an emergency had come up, but he hadn’t given her any details. She knew when her brother was seriously freaked, however, and boy was he freaked. So was Oz. Mr. Stoic had stayed steadily sloshed and weepy for the last two days. Something terrible had happened at that bachelor party and whatever it was it was connected to that bag.

    “Video tapes, Dana,” Spike said with a weary sigh.

    “Video tapes of what?”

    She walked over to the bag and reached out a hand. He grabbed it hard, “Don’t,” he said in a voice of steel. A voice that she didn’t even recognize. She could feel her world going down. For the first time ever, she was a little afraid of him.

    She swallowed, “Spike, if we can’t sit down and watch these video tapes together and then walk down that isle we aren’t walking down it at all.”

    Angel could feel his childe tense. His demon was begging to surface. “She’s right, Spike. She deserves to know.”

    Spike looked at Dana. This would break her heart, and for some reason he didn’t want to share these tapes with her, but he knew Angel was right. “These are tapes of Drusilla, Buffy, and Tara, Buffy’s daughter.”

    Dana gasped. She knew who Drusilla was. Spike had told her all about the undead former love of his life. “Who’s Buffy?”

    “The slayer from Sunnydale,” he said quietly.

    “I’ve heard Oz mention her. You never talk about her though, why would she make tapes with Drusilla? Don’t slayers kill vampires?” Dana was confused. Why hadn’t he talked about this Buffy person before?

    “Did you love this woman, Spike?” she asked with clarity.

    Angel saved him from answering. “We all love Buffy, Dana. She’s the slayer. She’s made out of love.”

    Dana looked at Angel. “You’re in love with her? But you’re married!”

    “Yes and yes. I will die loving Buffy. Cordelia understands that,” Angel said feeling his own demon howl inside of him at the ignorance of this woman to their ways.

    Dana wanted to ask more, but decided that she wanted to watch the tapes right this instant. She opened the bag up. The tapes were numbered. She found tape number one and put it in the VCR. She sat on the couch with the controller in her hand. Angel and Spike sat down too, with Spike in the middle.

    There was a woman in a big white bathrobe. The camera angle cut her head off. “Take the robe off, Buffy!” “No, I’m huge! Turn the camera off, Drusilla.” “Uh, uh. Don’t make Mummy come over there and take it off.” There was a big sigh and then the robe fell away. The camera zoomed away for a full view of the obviously pregnant woman.

    The men on the couch gasped. “Look how beautiful she is. Round and full of child,” Angel said.

    “Bloody amazing,” Spike replied wishing he had been there, wishing he could run a hand over her taut belly.

    The tape faded out and then back on. Nude Buffy again, but this time with a nude Drusilla as well. “Okay, the camera is on do it again!” “Dru, I can’t. The baby is doing it. I can’t make it happen.” “But I want to get it on film!” “Well, it happened when we were kissing, so get back over here woman!” Dru came back into the frame and her hands went back to grab Buffy’s butt as her mouth claimed Buffy’s in a long kiss, she broke away and gave a squeal. She went out of frame and the camera focused in on Buffy’s clearly moving belly.

    Angel and Spike both laughed. Angel absently reached his arm on the back of the couch behind Spike’s head. His hand automatically going to Spike’s blonde curls. Spike didn’t even notice, but Dana did.

    The camera faded out and back in again. “Breathe, my sweet, breathe in and out.” “You breathe!” Buffy groaned. “I hate him! Dru, I hate him. Call him. Call him right now and make him get his undead ass over here so I can stake him. To hell with epidurals, what I need is vampire dust!” Buffy screamed loudly, obviously in pain. “Calm, calm, breathe. Just breathe like we practiced.” “I don’t want to breathe, I want him. Dru, I need him! And I need to push!” Drusilla took Buffy’s hand as she started to push. As soon as the head started to crown, Drusilla moved and helped pull the baby out. She suctioned the mouth and nose, and wiped the baby down and placed her on Buffy’s stomach.

    Buffy gazed tenderly at her daughter and sobbed. “She’s so beaufiul, just like her daddy! Yes, you are. Oh, Drusilla, I love her so much!” Drusilla came around and smiled down at Buffy and the baby. Buffy looked at her. “And I love Spike even more than I did for what he has just given to me.” The tape faded out.

    Dana hit the stop button. She sat the controller down and looked over at Spike. He had his eyes closed and there were tears running down his face and his head was nestled in the crook of Angel’s arm. She looked at Angel and his eyes were closed too. His lips were pressed against the top of Spike’s head.

    “Just friends, Spike?” Dana said quietly.

    Spike opened his eyes and gave a bitter laugh, “No, never friends.”

    “You’re a father.” It was a strong statement.

    “Yes, I am,” he answered. He hated hurting her. Why had he ever let his ugly world touch this innocent woman?

    “Did you know she was pregnant?” Dana asked.

    “No, I didn’t. I should have known. I should have been there. I made a promise to her and I broke it. I told her I would never leave her.” He hated himself more now than when he had first gotten his soul back.

    Dana got up and walked to the door. “Where are you going, Dana?” Spike asked.

    “I’m leaving. Thank you for coming back for the wedding, Spike, but I could never marry a man who looked at another woman the way you were looking at the woman on that video tape. I know you love me in your own way, but I want someone to love me like you love the mother of your child. Go keep your promise.” She turned and left without looking back.

 

Epilogue

 

    Time had never moved so slowly before. Spike was pacing back and forth waiting to be called for boarding. When they called his flight, he reached over and kissed his grand-sire on the lips. “We’ll be waiting for you.”

    Angel gave him a brief nod and watched as his childe walked away. He smiled and turned to leave. His childer were happy. His beautiful wife was waiting for him at home, and someday, way down the road, he would be the man he was supposed to be and the demon he was supposed to be. In another life.

********

    Buffy opened the front door to see Spike smiling at her with love and hope in his eyes. "Can I come home?"

    She pulled him into her arms with a sob. "I'm not gonna let you go."

    "I'm not gonna go," he cried into the top of her head.

    "Promise?"

    He pulled away from her so that she could look into his eyes. "I promise; both man and demon."

    "Welcome home, then."

 

The End.