Chapter Ten

 

Buffy awoke with a buzz.  Not a blaring alarm clock buzz, but a God, my skin craves Spike, buzz.  For five whole minutes she contemplated the events of the previous night and decided sadly that it was all a dream.  That was until Willow entered the room from her shower and asked if Buffy was going to come and help her and Tara look for that spell for Spike’s soul.

 

With eyes wide in astonishment, Buffy leapt from the bed; frantically started looking for her slippers and a towel and grabbed some clothes and took off for the showers.  Two seconds after closing the door behind her, she slammed back into the room to grab her cosmetics bag.  With a silly grin she informed Willow that she would need to brush her teeth, and she was off again. 

 

In record time she was back, entering just as Tara reached the door.

 

“Right,” Buffy began, her voice and facial expression betraying the happy plain that she was visiting.  “I think we have some research to do.”

 

Willow cocked a brow in confusion.

 

“Um Buff, you do know that research means books, and that means actually sitting at a table with one open and actively reading it?” 

 

Buffy looked at Willow as though she were stupid.

 

“Of course, Will.  And while you guys are looking up that magic stuff, I’ll have some toast or something and see if Giles has come up with any more theories.”  Buffy nodded her head determinedly.  “Do you think Angel and Spike stayed at Giles’s place last night?”

 

Willow and Tara exchanged a knowing look.

 

“D.Don’t vampires sleep during the day?” Tara inquired and Buffy’s good mood deflated with a very obvious pop.

 

“I forgot about that.  Maybe I should do some studying or something and meet you guys there later.”

 

Now Willow was dumbfounded.

 

“You want to study?”

 

Buffy turned to her friend realising what she had proposed.

 

“Oh, sorry Will, don’t know what I was thinking.  Um, what could I do then?”

 

It was perfectly obvious that Buffy was desperate for some contact with Spike but didn’t want to come across as too eager, so Willow thought to cut her a little slack.

 

“I’m sure that Giles probably has thought of something. You could tell him about our idea for the spell and see what he thinks.  Or you could go tell Xander about Spike’s lips.”  Willow shared another of those glances with Tara as they saw Buffy zone out and think again of Spike smoochies.  Until the thought of actually telling Xander of said smoochies broke through and she turned grey.

 

“B.Buffy, I had a thought last night about the spell.”  That caught her attention and she narrowed in on the task at hand.  The spell was important, not only to satisfy her curiosity, but to ensure that the end of the world was not going to come to a crashing end.

 

“Yes Tara,” Willow encouraged.

 

“Well, what I saw last night showed a joining of your soul with Spike’s.  I am a little concerned that that will mean if we do a spell on Spike’s soul to find out why he has it it might combine with yours and drag your memories into the spell.  We also don’t know how far into the future this apocalypse is that Spike saved the world from, so you could get stuck in years of memories.”  Tara stopped at seeing Buffy shake her head.

 

“I think that’s unlikely.  Most slayers have a short shelf life so I don’t think it can be too many years.  Besides, it might be fun to see a little of my own future.  Make sure I do things right!”  Buffy gave an excited laugh, grabbed both girls hands and dragged them out the door to Giles’ place, stopping for donuts on the way.

 

When they arrived they found Giles with bloodshot eyes and a heavily fragrant mug of coffee.  Buffy looked at him and then the mug, shrugged her shoulders and led the way inside.  Lying on the sofa, one leg dangling over the edge and head tucked under his arm, was a very uncomfortable looking Angel.  The girls just stared at him before turning their eyes back to Giles, seeking an explanation.

 

“Spike had a rough night,” was all that he would say before heading back to the kitchen.

 

Willow headed to the bookshelves, seeking texts on magic and carrying all that she could manage to the table.  As they sat and started opening the books to relevant areas, Willow and Tara became absorbed and lost sight of Buffy as she decided to corner Giles in the kitchen.

 

“What happened?” she pointedly blocked his only way out.

 

“He just got his soul back after a hundred and twenty odd years of killing.  He may have dealt with it in the future, but he is having a little trouble grasping the implications of right now.  He only just went to sleep a short while ago.  I just wish we knew more about why this has happened.” Giles rubbed a tired fist over his forehead, sweeping his fringe back in frustration.

 

“We think we might be able to do something about that,” Buffy told him quietly, pointing through the window into the living room and the girls occupied with the books.  “Tara mentioned last night that it might be possible to do a hitch-hiker spell to Spike’s soul.  It could at least tell us how he got it in the first place.  See if it was the same curse that Angel has.”

 

Giles shook his head in the negative.

 

“I doubt it is the same curse, Buffy. That spell was lost until Jenny deciphered it. Oh.” His voice petered out as he considered something.  “I suppose it might be possible that Willow curses him in the future.”

 

“Whatever,” she swept her hand in a dismissing motion, pretending that the circumstances behind the spell were unimportant.  “What we need to know is if getting his soul back now causes an imbalance or something and that we aren’t going to be facing an apocalypse because of it.  We have enough on our plates at the moment with those commando’s and trying to work out what their deal is.”  Giles nodded his head in resigned agreement.

 

“I think someone should probably check that Spike is okay,” Buffy stated hopefully.

 

“Buffy, I think we should talk about what happened between the two of you last night.”  Her body went rigid, waiting for the criticisms to come, and Giles decided belatedly to back off a little.  “I told Spike that I wouldn’t stand in the way.  It is your situation to sort out, so yes, it would be a good idea for someone to go check on Spike.  Would you like to?”  She let out a put upon sigh and agreed, following Giles’s pointed finger in the direction of Spike.

 

His body lay on the fold out bed in Giles’ study, as still as death except for the panicked fluttering of his eyelids.  As she stood watching, his limbs would give a little jerk, and he would moan every so often.  It was obvious that the things he was dreaming about were far from happy. 

 

Feeling an overwhelming sense of urgency, she lay down beside him and reached for his hand.  Immediately he seemed to calm, and then she saw the tears begin to make tracks down his face.  Holding her breath, not wanting to stop his sleep, she reached out to wipe away the moisture but found it impossible, the flow being too rapid.

 

She rested her head on the pillow beside him and let her eyes skim over his face.  There was no denying that the vamp was extremely good looking.  No.  That wasn’t right.  He had the face of an angel, far too beautiful to be called good looking.  A seraphim displaced.  A vampire blessed with new life, and possibilities.  She could see love carved into his beautiful face, and felt pain that she might not be able to have this. This suggestion of him.  Looking at him now, Buffy felt desperate to know that the soul could not be attributed to the curse. She knew that if he were to lose his soul, that perfect happiness would be a curse for her and she would be broken.  Surely she couldn't be punished twice for loving a good vampire.

 

 The Powers wouldn’t return him to her here, at this time, if it meant a risk of returning him to the enemy she had feared for the past two years.  Here was an offering of special, of right, and the thought that it could be taken away from her terrified her so much that her insides clenched in a debilitating cramp.  She closed her eyes to try and gain control of the pain, and when she opened them it was to drown in the bluest seas of imagining.  Spike was awake and the pain he couldn’t hide from her made her shed accompanying tears, before wrapping her arm around his waist, dragging herself closer so she could rest her head on his chest.  His own arm anchored her to his chest and he wasn’t letting go.

 

“I’m so sorry, Buffy.”  His throat was croaky, showing his exhaustion from the emotional ordeal that had lasted throughout the night.  She said nothing, just stroked soothing lines on his bare chest before resting her palm flat over the spot where his heart didn’t beat.

“There are too many dead, and I can’t apologise to them, but God, I’m so sorry for trying to kill you all those times.”  Buffy felt all choked up and just knew that if she opened her mouth and attempted to say anything that she would start sobbing.  The sadness of his voice was heartbreaking and she could do nothing but offer a little relief in the distraction of a gentle kiss just below her hand.  She felt his sudden indrawn breath as his hand urged her to face him, fingers whispering over her cheek to rest under her chin.  “I don’t understand what I have done to deserve you being this nice to me,” he whispered, afraid that if he was louder it would bring others to the room and destroy this magical moment of them, and he was dependent just then on the comfort only she could give.

 

Buffy lifted her finger to his lips, silencing his stream of words.

 

“Spike, I believe that something incredibly special happened in our future. I don’t know why I feel this connection to you right now.  But I don’t think what has happened is just a reward for you.  It feels too right to be in your arms…” her quiet tones petered out as she noticed his eyes fixated on her lips, drifting ever closer as she spoke until they were just a breath away.  Memories of the magic his lips created the previous night blew her out of her mind and she didn’t even think to raise an objection when his lips found their home on hers again.  Her eyes drifted closed and she just gave in to the beauty of the kiss, certain that she had never received a kiss that shook her to the core like this ever before in her life. 

 

Just a gentle touch and she pulled a little distance away, her gaze hooded with want and need, as she swept out her tongue to lick leisurely from one lip level to the next.  Her heart was thumping madly as his lips slipped apart and her tongue glided back to the opening and entered the cave of his mouth, seeking and locating the tip of his tongue.  Barely making contact, her lips again found his and she lost herself again in her overwhelming need to be one with him.  While their lips swished and slid against the other their hands came together and they held on tight, too afraid to let go, knowing that a separation would be like falling off a cliff.

 

Spike was the one to finally pull away, releasing her lips with a lingering final suck of her bottom lip.  One finger traced the line of the same lip as he locked his eyes on hers.

 

“I never imagined,” he told her huskily and they remained, never looking away from each other, their hands never releasing their nervous hold for an uncountable period of time.  Not until they heard a loud shout of “Eureka” from the living room, and Buffy explained the search for the spell.  Still, it was long minutes before she would surrender the special moments they had shared. But finally she could delay no longer and she pulled him from his reclining position and dragged him out of hiding and back before an audience.