Chapter Twenty

 

Buffy was both surprised and grateful to find Xander already at Giles’s when she finally got there.  There were no surprise reactions at the news of Oz, but a round of bowed heads shared in the sorrow that their friend was now experiencing.

 

“Do you think Willow will be okay on her own, Buffy?”  Giles, the paternal figure of the group, was naturally concerned for her welfare, but it was with awkwardness that he contemplated any sympathetic gesture.

 

“Best to leave her alone when she has had that kind of heartbreak,” suggested Spike and Buffy took his hand in hers for her own comfort.  She ducked her head in resignation as soon as Xander opened his mouth, predicting correctly when his snarky comments hit the room.

 

“Well, you’d know all about heartbreak, wouldn’t you, Evil Dead?  Let’s hope Willow doesn’t rush out and grab some poor unsuspecting witch and her buddy to threaten to death unless they produce a love spell.”

 

Spike scoffed.  “I let them find you, didn’ I?”

 

“That is so not the point right now.  And Xander, the spell thing?  Already in the out basket.” 

 

Xander’s eyes widened in shock.

 

“She did a spell?”

 

“I think she was going to do a spell.  She was in the lab when I found Oz, and there were broken test-tube thingies on the bench.  Either she failed or she decided against it.  I didn’t want to ask her that on top of everything else.  We took Oz to the cage and went back to our room.  She really didn’t speak much.  But Giles…” Buffy turned to find his head still in his hands and she felt anxiety over all the things they had had to deal with in the past couple of days.  “That witchy stuff?  I think you need to get on it- like- soon.  Oh, and one of those Initiative guys got in my way.  I nearly didn’t get there in time.  We need to close that show down before their evil Frankenstein decides to take it on the road.”

 

Numerous heads around the room began to nod wearily and Buffy suddenly realised that it had been days since she had last patrolled.  She let go of Spike’s hand and stood, taking a stake from her jacket pocket, she twirled it experimentally.

 

“Think I should head out, stake a few vamps, follow a few commandos.  Oh!” A sudden memory coloured her voice in disappointment.  “I saw Riley when I left earlier.  I think a lot of the Initiative are heading out for Thanksgiving, so there might not be anyone out there patrolling tonight.”

 

Spike jumped up in front of her.  “No reason for me not to come out with you then, is there, gorgeous?”   His enticing grin held no prisoners.

 

Buffy’s logical argument for him to stay put died right there on her lips, her body tingling ferociously from him calling her gorgeous.  As if under a spell- his spell- she let him tug her hand and they left the flat, quickly disappearing into the dark.

 

Xander was still staring at the closed door, waving his finger while pointing for all he was worth, and swivelled in his chair to address Giles.

 

“There’s no way that doesn’t wig you out!”

 

Giles looked up, finally surrendering his patience, and barked out impatiently. “He’s actually very interesting to talk to.”

 

Xander was beyond surprised.  “So, what?  We just sit back and let Captain Peroxide seduce the Buffster?”

 

Angel had remained quiet throughout the previous revelations, his discomfort at being on the edge of their lives beginning to wear.

 

“There is no seduction going on.”  Angel had never been a fan of Xander’s, and despite his recent estrangement from Spike, he was family, and one defended family.  “This hasn’t just happened.  Spike is here because the PTB wanted him to be here.  With her.  I hate it.  You hate it.  I bet Giles hates it.  But she doesn’t.  Are you really going to stand in her way?  Besides, he saves the world.  Can you begrudge him his reward for being on your side?”

 

“I can begrudge anything if he doesn’t keep his filthy hands to himself.”

 

Giles looked concerned at Xander’s bitterness.  “What is really the problem, Xander?  Buffy told you that Spike saves your life a number of times.  He even saves one of your eyes.  Don’t you think it would be better to let fate have its way and perhaps change the future, or do you want some of the ghastly things she told us to happen just to keep her away from him?  Surely you can see their connection?  I would say that it seems destined.”  He stopped a moment, pulling a hanky from his pocket and began to polish his glasses.  “I’m not sure you could pull them apart now, anyway.”

 

“She would never have been yours,” Angel informed him bitterly.  Gracefully exiting his chair, he made his way out of the flat and into the night like his Childe and ex-girlfriend before him.

 

Xander blustered in denial as soon as the door was closed.  “I’m not jealous.”

 

“Oh, just shut it, Xander.  We both know that you are.  I would remember that you have a very attractive girlfriend if I were you.  Maybe you should go find her.”  And Giles left him to head to his room, suddenly feeling very lethargic.  He sighed gratefully when he heard the front door click closed.

 

~ ~ ~

 

Buffy and Spike wandered through busy streets on their way to a quieter graveyard, their fingers tangled shyly together and arms swinging between them.  Every so often Buffy would sneak a sideways glance at him, marveling at how his hair shone in the lamplight.  Shone?  More like it glowed, she chuckled to herself.  Occasionally she caught him taking a quick glance at her, and she would smile secretly, amused at their timid approach toward each other.  They had kissed, and touched each other’s skin, and yet they remained shy.

 

This was so different, she thought.  And she was so happy.  It felt a little like when she thought she was moving on with Parker, the subtle flirting heating her blood and filling her with excitement and a rush of pure adrenaline.  It was probably the happy and adrenaline that tricked her into believing Parker’s lines; but this happy?  So much better.  It was more.  It was beyond the edge of falling: it was of the fallen.  She was too late to grab it with both hands; it had already fused with all her living tissue, filling her as if by osmosis.  She was complete with his love, his affection. 

 

Oh yeah, she was definitely happy.

 

While the Buffy side of her strolled along lazily swinging hands with her love, the Slayer part was scanning for any threat, both to humanity as well as to Spike.  It wouldn’t do to be outnumbered now in a fight he couldn’t take part in to protect himself.  Even though she knew that the Initiative would be small in numbers right now, she was still nervous about Spike being recaptured.  The thought brought upon her a sense of melancholy and Buffy felt her guilt return for forgetting what her friend was going through right now.  It was as if the night had fallen a couple of degrees, and her excitement dimmed a little.

 

But not quite completely she discovered when Spike stopped her and pulled her into his arms.

 

“Red will be fine.  I know that. You know that.  Don’t forget about Tara.” It astounded her how he seemed to always know what she was thinking, and she felt suddenly alarmed that he could pick up her feelings as well.  That could be embarrassing.

 

She snuggled into his chest, loving the feel of his strong arms protecting her from the outside and grateful to have that buffer for the first time.  She was used to being the strong one: the one to rush in at just the right moment to save the day, save her friends, and save the world.  No one had ever saved her before.  Not even Angel really, except for that one time when he got that potion thing to stop her hearing everyone’s thoughts. Knowing that Spike had always be there to hold her- well, at least the future her- made it seem so much easier to melt in his arms now, made her feel more complete.  Who said knowing the future was a bad thing?

 

She pulled a little away so that she could look up at him and felt herself be lost in Spike’s eyes.  The intense urge to tell him her feelings took hold, and suddenly little bees buzzed annoyingly in her stomach.  Her ears were filled with a rush, and as she opened her mouth to speak, she was pushed to the ground with a force that knocked her breathless.

 

“You alright, luv?” Spike asked, his concern evident in the way his hands smoothed out her clothes.

 

She was stunned silent. He didn’t wait for an answer, pulling her away again and she suddenly worked out that the rushing in her ears, was actually a vamp flying past her in a badly projected leap.

 

That did it!  No stupid vamp was interfering in her moment. And without any thought, her stake embedded into the chest of the idiot as he again tried to leap and tackle her to the ground.  She closed her eyes as dust hit her full in the face.  In disgust she spat the dust from her mouth and wiped down her shirt.

 

As she reached for his hand again, hoping that they could recapture the moment, she knew it was gone as the black clad form of Angel joined their little huddle.

 

“Hey,” she offered weakly in greeting, Spike offering nothing but a tormented humph beside her.

 

Angel looked back and forth before explaining his presence.

 

“Thought I might head back to LA tonight.  You Scoobies are too exciting for me.”  He laughed unconvincingly, and though Buffy didn’t want him to go just yet, she suspected that it hurt him to see her with Spike and decided to say nothing of it.

 

“Yeah, we are an exciting bunch.  Tomorrow we’re all set to hunt down puppies and scarf down cookies.”  She smiled as she gave him a quick peck on the cheek.  “Wanna help us patrol before you go?  You know, just in case we come across any more Initiative soldiers.”

 

“Sure,” he told her, ignoring Spike’s annoyed glare, and they all three became one with the night, searching and destroying all threats as they came across them. No Initiative soldiers were to be seen.

 

Later, as Buffy waved and watched the taillights of Angel’s car disappear down the street, she said goodbye to a love that was never meant to be.