Chapter Twenty-Seven

 

Buffy couldn’t find him.  She searched everywhere she could think of until the sky began to lighten and surmised that he just didn’t want to be found.  Disappointed, she crossed her arms over her chest as she slowly made her way back to the dorms.  She felt that she was constantly on the edge of tears these days, and she so desperately wanted things to be better with Spike.  She still caught her breath in a moment of pain when she thought of him taking the ring away from her permanently.  She was so grateful that no matter what damage she had done to their relationship, it wasn’t so far gone that he wanted to be rid of her for good.  Her relief was tempered, though, by the frustration she felt at never being able to find him.

 

Realising that she had yet to inform Giles of the fate of The Gentleman she headed back away from campus.  Not like she was ready to sleep yet anyway.  She was far too wired.  She knocked loudly on his door and gave a startled gasp when Spike drew it open.  All the culminated stress of the week and not seeing him collided with her relief at being within touching distance and she hurled herself into his arms.  Afraid that he still might push her away, her arms clung to his neck as she pushed herself into his body as closely as she dared.  Long moments dragged before she felt his arms creep round to hold her to him and she finally let out her held breath in a muffled sob.  The tears had again returned but she didn’t realise she was crying until he gently pulled her away and her vision of him was blurred.

 

“I am so sorry,” she sobbed, her arms still entwined about his neck like she would never let go.

 

He cocked his head to the side as if to contemplate the depth of her apology, drawing her back to him as her misery became obvious.

 

“We have to work this out.  I can’ stand the sight of you runnin’ every time something happens an’ you doubt me.”  His breath shifted her hair and her body tingled, rejoicing to be back in his arms.  Buffy knew it was where she belonged; with him, by his side for as much life as she had left, and she couldn’t believe that she had wasted a whole week by being insecure about his love.  She needed to start having faith in him before she lost him.

 

Still not having the courage to raise her eyes and look at him, she whispered into his shoulder.

 

“I know I love you.  I know I feel wrong when I’m not with you.  I’m sorry I doubted you and before you say it, I know that if I hadn’t taken off I would have been happily in your arms picking out wedding cake for the past week.”  She pulled away and took a small step back, letting her arms finally slip from his shoulders and fall to her side, miserable and defeated.  “I don’t know why I reacted like that.  I guess I was just so overwhelmed, and I was happy.  I’m not used to being so happy.  It was such a big thing to let a vampire bite me. I only allowed Angel to save his life.”  She turned away but pushed on despite his angry growl.  She knew that this statement could not be left unexplained or Spike could be on the road in minutes to make Angel pay.  She wasn’t too stupid to know the possessiveness of a mate.

“He was poisoned, Spike, and only a Slayer’s blood could save him.  I did everything I could to get Faith for him but I wasn’t able to.  So that just left me.  If it makes you feel any better, he nearly killed me.”  Her dry chuckle fell into a silent room.  ‘Okay’, she thought, ‘near death does not amuse the dead guy,’ and she wiped the smile from her face.

 

“I was afraid, okay?  You proposed, and you claimed me, and if I had been thinking straight and not forgotten about Willow’s original spell then yeah, I guess I would have known that it wasn’t as artificial as that other time.  But I hadn’t remembered and it was a shock when Giles reminded me.  I was afraid that you wouldn’t want it or think that we only did all that together because of a spell. I wanted you to want those things so much, and I had waited to be with you so everything would be perfect.”  She stopped and took a breath before turning back to look at him and suddenly sucked in another in erotic impulse.  Visions of the two of them writhing around his bed, the sheets in disarray and the physical effect of his bite raised her heartbeat alarmingly and she couldn’t find a steady image to help ground herself.  His eyes. God he’s so beautiful.  Her brain shut down as she clung to that indrawn breath, her lungs burning as she drank him in.  Her hands buzzed with the urgent desire to locate his skin, the humming of her body steadily increasing as she felt impulse control surrender itself to sensation.  She forgot everything and her body began to shut down as she forgot to breathe, her only concern to never lose sight of those eyes again.

 

Spike caught her as she began to collapse.  The shock of falling kick-started her back into motion and she sucked in great gulping breaths, feeling like a princess cradled in his strong arms.

 

“Oh boy,” she rasped in surprise.  “That was way intense.”

 

Spike grinned, rather impressed at having an immobilising effect on her.  The memory of the past week returned though, and his grin faded as he lowered her again to standing.

 

“If I see you ‘having coffee’ again with Captain Cardboard I’ll rip that bloody ring off for good.”  His voice was pure anger and Buffy hadn’t heard it like that in- well- ever if she was honest. 

 

She remembered those first hours of him being back and his flirting with Anya and her back stiffened.

 

“And if I see you flirting like you did with Anya then I’ll rip your d….um…head off.”  She smiled brightly for the first time in a week at his tortured grimace before once again launching herself back into his arms.

 

“I know there are a lot of issues. I need to trust and believe in you- and I do already, really- I just get frightened and I guess I don’t believe in myself much.”  She allowed her cheek to rub against his as she pulled herself back so her lips were just the smallest breath away from his.  She looked up into his ocean blue eyes and sunk at an alarmingly swift pace.  She gulped frantically, feeling that earlier sensation start to consume her senses and she brushed her lips against his in a desperate attempt to fall back to earth.  “I love you.”  Her voice was husky and rough as her hands started to wander absentmindedly over his shoulders and down his arms.  “I need you.”  She licked his neck before biting just hard enough to leave a mark but not break the skin.  “I want you.”  Her voice barely drifted above a whisper as her lips found his again and remained, drawing him in and losing herself again in the heady rush of desire. 

 

His hands played over the fabric of her shirt, teasing artistic circles over her back and the steady bubbling of intense arousal invaded every skin cell and exploded in a gush of molten heat beyond her control.  She surrendered mindlessly to the feeling of his tongue encircling hers, swiping sensually over her bottom lip and her fingers, now in his hair, tightened their grip as a swirl of desire expanded in her belly.  He pulled her body in closer, rubbing his leg against hers, his erection hardening against her stomach.  As his hand began to pull her top up at the front and snake its way to her lace covered breast, they were torn apart by duel throat clearings from the stairway.

 

“Oh, bloody hell.  Couldn’t you have stayed in your own bloody bed?”  Spike turned wild, flashing yellow eyes to Giles and Olivia who were smiling bemusedly as they continued into the room.

 

“Yes, well,” Giles cleared his throat.  “As enlightened as I am, I am not prepared to walk in and see my Slayer in naked activities with her vampire betrothed.”  His eyes strayed to the ruby ring that once again dominated Buffy’s left hand, rather happy about it in some way mysterious to himself, but glad that Olivia had pointed it out before they felt a need to interrupt.  “Some of us never want to be blinded ever again.”  He smiled rather gleefully as he and Olivia headed for the kitchen.

 

Spike looked back at Buffy and laughed at her charmingly pink complexion before bending and giving her a quick kiss on the pulse point of her throat.

 

“You do know they’ve been doin’ it like rabbits ever since she got ‘ere, don’ you?”

 

Buffy blushed again and decided to change the subject.

 

“So,” she started, her lips being drawn back to heaven but stopped just shy of the entry gate as the loud activity from the kitchen broke through her haze.

 

“Do you have a thrall on me?”  The pout on her lips enticing nothing but lusty thoughts from the vampire.

 

“I don’t have thrall, kitten.  You know that.”

 

“Then why do I keep spacing out?”  Her eyebrows crinkled in cute confusion and he laughed out loud.

 

“I’ve always been bad, baby.  You’ll just have to work it out for yourself.”

 

He grabbed a blanket from the floor beside the door and wrapped it around himself.  Before she knew what he was doing he had whipped open the door and disappeared.

 

“Damn.”  She stomped her foot hard.  “Bye Giles.”  Her shout definite just as the front door slammed once again and she was gone, leaving Giles and Olivia smiling lewdly at one another over their steaming cups of tea.