Secret Passions
by Oracleholly


Rating: PG
Spoilers: BTVS: S7 - post "Him" but before "Sleeper"
Pairings: Spike/Xander - sort of friendship (no slash)
Disclaimer: Joss owns the universe that is Buffy the Vampire Slayer and quite a few others. I just like to play with his creations every so often and make no money off of it.
Distribution: This was made for the Summer of Spike, if any site owner wishes to add this to their archives, please contact me.

Acknowledgments: Thank you to Blacknblue2 for betaing; Slinkypsychokit and Ariel Dawn for their early feedback.

Summary: What possible secret could Spike and Xander share?

**************

The door slammed and he looked up from his perch on the couch.

"'Bout bloody time. Starts in four minutes. Got my …" A packet of pig's blood was hurled at him. Deftly catching it in his left hand, he stood up and made quick haste to the kitchen. Grabbing a mug, he tore open the packet and poured its contents. Not wanting to hear any grief later, he placed a paper towel underneath the mug and turned on the microwave.

He heard the channels of the TV being changed in the living room. He paced in front of the infernal appliance til it dinged. Not minding the heat of the mug, he retrieved it and hurried back to the couch.

On the coffee table, a bag of potato chips, Cheetos, a box of Wheat-a-bix and a six-pack of beer greeted him. Resuming his seat, he sprinkled some Wheat-a-bix into his blood, gulping it down as the first scene began to play across the screen.

"Do you think Luis will go back to Sheridan if Antonio dies?"

Spike held up one finger as the first scene played out. Once the opening credits were rolling, he turned to his couch companion, pure annoyance etched in his features. "Of course, you wanker, Sheridan and Luis are meant to be together. Now toss me a beer."

"Where does Demon Girl think you are, Harris?" Spike opened his beer and took a swig.

"Out with the guys for a late lunch. You think I'd tell her you've got me addicted to Passions? Never hear the end of it," fretted Xander, raking his fingers through his dark brown hair. "You haven't told her have you?"

While he would love to enjoy the scent of fear emanating off the boy, this was a serious matter. "'S not something to make light of. You think I want anyone knowing I willingly spend my time with you? All my bleeding reputation needs."

The conversation halted somewhat as the next scenes played. Spike thought back to how he had fallen into this bizzaro world where he and Harris sort of got along.

After Buffy had rescued him from the basement, he guessed that she had forced Xander to once again have Spike as a roommate. At least this time, he no longer had to endure the nightly feature that was Harris' parents. He had a nice little setup. Someone, maybe Buffy herself, must have told Clem he was back, because not one day after moving in, there stood his 'best mate' at the door to the apartment.

Xander had practically dragged the floppy-skin demon inside, not wanting his neighbors to see anything. Clem, with a goofy grin, had a box full of videocassettes - all episodes of Passions. At first, Harris had made his usual jokes about the show, but within a few days of Spike catching up, he found the Whelp sitting next to him on the couch asking inane questions and pestering his newly won soul. Occasionally the demon bird would come by - he found out that she had returned to vengeance after the Whelp had skipped out on their wedding but now was back to humanity. When Anya happened to grace her former fiancé with her presence, Harris would hide the tapes from her curious eyes.

The arrangement - albeit strange - stuck. Each pledging never to divulge their mutual love of Passions, life in the Harris apartment became almost congenial. Yeah, the bantering still remained, and he would never consider the Whelp even a pseudo-friend, but the wanker now liked his show - proving he wasn't completely hopeless.

The show passed by quickly - Sheridan had seen Luis sleep with that big-lipped, creepy bint, Beth. The bint made Drusilla look almost sane in comparison. Xander was whining that Teresa would never find out that it was Gwen and her mother Rebecca who stole that information off her laptop, exposing Ethan's true parentage.

"But it's not fair. I mean Theresa belongs with Ethan, stupid Rebecca. And couldn't the Powers That Be fix it so we don't have to see one more strange sex dress-up scene between that skank and Julien?" Xander asked as he retreated to the kitchen to put up his food.

"As if you and the Demon Girl didn't play pretend," Spike answered, quirking an eyebrow, then opening a third bottle of beer. He heard a glass being dropped, shattering on the kitchen floor.

An embarrassed but touchy Xander flew around the corner, "She's no longer a demon. And there will be no mentioning of me and Anya and any of our past …"

A knock on the door ended whatever Xander was going to say. Azure eyes met brown, then Harris repacked up a bag of groceries and went to open the door. Spike propped his feet on the couch, turning the TV to Court TV. He nodded at Xander's last look, and Xander opened the door.

"Hey An, what are you doing here? Has something happened?"

"If you were still my fiancé, Alexander Harris, I would be very mad at you and not give you any orgasms. What else do I expect from you? You lied to me again. You said you were out with your friends from the site, but I went there and they were there and you were not." Anya moved passed Xander, hands on her hips, cheeks flush with anger. Spike felt her eyes on him, but he remained still and kept looking at whatever it was he was watching.

"Anya, things fell through with the guys and I realized that I needed to go to the store. See? Groceries in bag? Just got home a few minutes ago, this is the last bag. Wanna help me?"

"As if. That is no longer my job, Xander." Looking around the room one more time, as if she were satisfying herself that no females were present, she cocked her head. Spike could tell she was trying to listen for any out of place sounds. Curious to see what the bird would do, he watched her out of the corner of his eye. Anya turned and left, without so much an explanation. Apparently, Harris felt he'd just escaped the Grand Inquisition, because he breathed a sigh of relief.

"So, did you see the scenes for tomorrow?"

"That I did….."

The End

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