Chapter 22

 

Dawn leaned across against the windowsill absently watching the people scurry about in the streets below.  They had arrived in England about four days ago, and Giles had taken them straight their hotel near the Council’s headquarters.  Well not exactly near to the Council but close enough. Giles had informed her, that The Sofitel had originally been home to some bank built in 1923. ‘Ughh why do I remember that!’  Dawn knew that they were supposed to be doing ‘touristy’ type stuff as their cover, but Giles seemed to be taking the educational side of it much too seriously. 

However, he had managed to convince Travers to allow Dawn to accompany him to the Council headquarters at St. James Square to meet Samuel.  Anya’s demon status meant that she was excluded from today’s excursion, ‘lucky thing,’ and had decided to spend the day shopping for items to stock the Magic Box. 

“Dawn do hurry up, or we’ll be late.” Giles poked his head around the door nerves causing him to be a little curter then usual. 

Dawn gave him a half-hearted smile. “Ok I’ll be there in a minute,” she turned her eyes back to the street once more, wondering briefly how the others were fairing. 

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Willow stood at the door to Xander’s room, listening to the muted sounds of his rage beating against the barrier that held him contained. 

She started slightly as Tara wrapped an arm around her waist. “I’m sorry sweetie.  I wish it was better news.” 

Willow gave her a wan smile before turning her tear-filled eyes back towards the doorway. “I just can’t believe it’s the same Xander, who used to do the Snoopy Dance round my room every Christmas.  I can’t believe THAT is inside him!” 

Since Giles and the others had departed for England, Willow and Tara had been frequently travelling between Sunnydale and Midian.  It had only been during this latest trip that Jayala had managed to discover the spell’s intent.  Xander was under a revealing spell that took all his hidden feelings and brought them to the surface unfettered.   

Willow shuddered.  Every evil, foul thing Xander said was what he truly felt; she felt her heart break at the ugliness that lived inside her best friend. 

Bracing herself, Willow lifted the veil that prevented her from seeing and hearing him. “Hi Xan, just wanted to let you know that Tara and I are going back to Sunnydale in a few hours.  Do you need anything?” 

Xander laughed as he sauntered up to the doorway. “Well, well if it isn’t my old friend Willow.” He slapped his hands violently against the invisible barrier, “Come to make sad little puppy dog eyes, because Xander the sap has run away.” 

“Really Xander, is that the best you can come up with?” Tara stepped in front of Willow. 

“Ohh, isn’t that cute the sh…sh…shy little witch has grown a back bone.” Xander lifted his arm to lounge against the door. “Tell me Tara, all that time our little Buffy was getting all maggoty in the ground, and you were giving poor old Spike a shoulder to cry on,” he leaned closer, “was that all you were giving him?” 

“Xander!” Willow gasped in shock; the realization that he truly felt that way cut her deeper then any of the words that he had spoken.  “Don’t speak about Tara like that!” 

“Come on Will, you can’t tell me you didn’t think it.” Xander began to move around the room. “If I were you, I’d give her a little slap.  Put her in her place.” He lifted his hand to inspect his nails, “It always worked with Anya.” 

“You hit Anya?” Willow felt sick at the thought. 

“Well not physically,” he gave a small chuckle, “But a few well placed words here and there served to knock her down a peg or two just as well.” 

“And just where is her place?” Tara stood facing Xander with her hands on her hips refusing to back down.  Over the summer Spike had taught her ways to boost her confidence in standing up to others.  Those lessons were helping her now.   

“In the dirt, under my feet, where she can be ground down.” he smirked at Tara. 

Suddenly realizing who he reminded her of Willow laughed, “Gee Xander you sure your not channelling your inner Angelus?” 

“I am NOTHING like that filthy ANIMAL!” Xander’s face grew red as he spat out the words.  

“Are you sure about that?” With a flick of her wrist, she pulled the veil back across the barrier.  Turning away she began to shake, “Why didn’t I see what was inside him before?  Maybe I could have helped him.” 

Tara gathered her into her arms. “Remember sweetie, the spell is magnifying everything.” 

“I know, and I think that’s what scares me most.  All these years he’s been kind of lying to us.”  Willow cast one last sad glance towards the room where Xander was imprisoned.  

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Buffy wearily walked through the front door to Revello drive.  She had returned to Sunnydale to do a quick patrol and was now looking forward to returning home.  Home…it was strange how quickly Midian had become just that.  It had been seven days since Rebecca had died and Stacy was born, four days since Dawn had left with Giles and Anya, and two days since they had discovered the blackness which had lain dormant within Xander’s soul. 

Willow was deeply shocked by their discovery.  Buffy too had been that way at first, but staying in Midian, she had allowed her more time to deal.  For her and Spike, it had been almost three and a half months since Rebecca’s death, two months since Dawn and the others had left, and a month since they had discovered the truth about Xander. 

Making her way upstairs, she bumped into Willow and Tara as they exited the portal to Midian. “How are things back there?” 

“He’s still the same.” Tara answered quietly. 

“And Spike?” Buffy asked even though she already knew what their answer would be. Spike had not yet properly grieved for Rebecca, instead channelling all his emotions into the desire for vengeance against Travers. He also did not cope well with her absences.  Even though Buffy was only in Sunnydale for about three hours, she would lose almost two days in Midian. 

“He’s training.” 

Buffy nodded.  Whenever she went to patrol in Sunnydale, Spike would settle Stacy for the night, leaving her in the care of Hoston and Sarah, and then he would spend the remainder of the night in the field training with his Redwulf. 

Buffy gave each of the girls a hug in turn. “I’ll see you in a couple of days.” Turning she stepped into the portal.  Dawn had linked the portal, so that it opened into their home in Midian.  Tiptoeing down the hall of their Midian home, Buffy peaked into the room she shared with Spike and Stacy.  That was another after-effect of Rebecca’s death; Spike didn’t like being separated from either of them for very long.   

Most nights he would wrap his body around hers and lie perfectly still listening to their heartbeats.  Often she would awaken in the morning to find Stacy carefully tucked into the bed with them, and although she wished for more, Buffy was content to wait until Spike was ready. 

Not bothering to change Buffy left in search of Spike, her feet taking her to the training field where she knew Spike would be. 

As she moved closer to the field Buffy could hear the soft clang of the Redwulf connecting with something hard, most likely one of the large stones that dotted the field.  Sitting down quietly she watched Spike as he wielded the deadly weapon.  He had removed his shirt at some time, and Buffy watched as his muscles flexed, rippling with every movement. 

She had sat like this often over the past months, sometimes during the day Stacy in her arms, other times on nights like this.  Tonight was different though.  Even though Spike seemed to put more force behind each movement, he didn’t seem to move with his usual natural grace. Fear rushed through her as she heard an anguished howl erupt from him as he flung his weapon at the nearest stone, embedding it deeply into its hard surface.  Buffy sprung to her feet as she saw him fall to his knees beating at the large rock with his hands. 

Buffy was sobbing as she reached his side, falling to the ground beside him, “Spike what’s wrong?”  She captured his raw and bloody hands, desperate to still their punishing movements.  

Spike whirled around to face her in full game face, his amber eyes flashing as he backhanded her away. 

“Spike?” his name left her lips; the barest hint of a whisper, but it was enough to still his menacing advance. 

Comprehension filled his eyes as his vampiric face melted away.  He looked at the blood streaked across Buffy’s face and then down at his own bloody hands. “Oh god, what did I do?” He stumbled backwards away from her. 

Buffy rushed forward to reassure him, “It’s ok.  It’s not mine; you didn’t hurt me.” She touched his face lightly, her eyes tearing as she felt him flinch away from her. 

“I hurt you, I hurt you!” he broke down, ripping at the earth as he finally let go of his grief and rage. 

Buffy lifted his face so that he met her eyes, “You always hurt the ones you love.”  

At that, Spike seemed to crumple in on himself, “The ones I love die.” He held his hands up once more, seemingly captivated by the blood that still covered them.  Frantically he scrubbed them against his chest, trying to wipe away the offending stain.  “My love marks them, I’m a bad man.”   

Buffy edged closer tenderly cupping his cheek in her hand, “You’re a good man Spike…William.  This isn’t because of you.”  Buffy slowly pulled him to his feet drawing him away from the field towards a small grove of trees nearby.  “Let me help you.” 

Pulling Spike further into the trees, Buffy made her way to a small clearing.  The area was quiet, bathed in soft moonlight. A small stream of water fell down through the canopy, giant leaves channelling it one to the other as it gently cascaded into a small pool below.  The pool was surrounded with moss-covered rocks; the grass beneath their feet cushioned their steps.   

Buffy led Spike towards the waterfall, motioning for him to sit on a large smooth rock beside the pool.  She knelt before him unlacing his boots and pulling them from his feet.  Holding one bare foot over the pool Buffy cupped her hand, scooping up some of the cool, clear water and pouring it over his foot.   

For what seemed an age Buffy silently tended to Spikes feet, bathing and massaging them with her firm but tender touch.  Casting her eyes towards his face Buffy saw that Spike had finally relaxed, his eyes closed a look of bliss softening his face.  Keeping her eyes fixed on the sight before her, Buffy leaned forward covering one of his big toes with her mouth, sucking lightly.   

Spikes eyes shot open in surprise. “Buffy!” he murmured stunned at her actions.  

Unfazed Buffy swirled her tongue lightly across the pad of his toe, before she let it fall from her mouth, “Shhhhhh.” 

She stood up offering her hand to him and pulling him towards the small waterfall.  Pushing him to stand underneath it, she turned her attention to his jeans popping each button in slowly.  Buffy watched in fascination, as his soft curls appeared; sighing she let her finger dance across the opening of his fly, brushing the curls as she did.  With excruciating care, Buffy began to slide the now sodden jeans down his powerful legs.  Motioning him to step out of them, Buffy grabbed the jeans and tossed them to the side.  Buffy ran her hands lightly over his firm legs as she stood and moved behind him. 

Reaching to one side Buffy grabbed what looked like empty seed pods.  Holding them under the water for a moment, she gently rubbed her hands together to create a soapy lather.  Dropping the pods back onto a leaf Buffy began to rub her hands across Spikes back.  Circling his waist, she moved her hands to his chest, washing away the outer signs of his torment.   

Although her clothes were soaked through, she didn’t notice as she pressed herself flush against his back.  Slowly she began to move her hands downwards, her touch cleansing not only the outer shell of her man but healing the raw and open wound that was his heart. 

Spike shuddered at Buffy’s touch; he felt as though she were touching his very core.  In a daze, he registered the sensations around him.  The cool clammy feeling of Buffy’s wet shirt clinging to his back was tempered by the hard pebbles that pushed through the top to nestle against his skin.  The play of the water as it struck his shoulders before randomly sliding down his skin like icy tendrils, until they hit the warmth of Buffy’s hands.  He felt as though he were freezing to death and burning up at the same time.   

A low groan erupted from deep within him as Buffy’s small hands circled his cock, massaging it gently until he began to harden despite the ice water that flowed across it.  He startled slightly as Buffy moved one hand to run across his buttocks before moving it down between his legs to cup his balls from behind.  Spike let his head drop back as Buffy gently stroked his cock, occasionally flicking the tip with her nail, while her other hand kneaded his tight sack. 

Slowly Buffy moved around Spikes body, kneeling down in front of him and taking him in her mouth, sliding her teeth lightly down the length of his shaft.  Sucking lightly, she pulled back until just the tip remained in her mouth.  She slid her tongue down the slit, pressing it down firmly before sliding her mouth back down towards the base. 

Spike felt his knees begin to buckle when Buffy had caressed him with her tongue; a droplet of ice-cold water had splashed onto his exposed cock, causing sensation to flare to every nerve ending.  “Buffy luv, I can’t….” he groaned once more as her warm mouth encased him once more. 

Buffy gave his cock one last firm suck before licking and nipping her way back to the tip.  Standing she pressed her mouth softly against his, letting him taste the droplets of precum that moistened her lips.   

Spike shied backwards slightly, his eyes locking with hers for a moment questioning. 

Buffy smiled as she ghosted her fingers down his cheek, stepping back she began to strip, slowly tossing her clothes next to Spike’s.  “I love you Spike.”  She moved to a patch of soft grass gently tugging him down to the ground.  “I love you,” she pressed a kiss to his forehead before pushing him to lie down.  “I love you.” Buffy peppered kisses across his face and his neck nipping lightly at his throat. 

Spike reached for her shoulders, “Pet let me….” 

Buffy shook her head, “No Spike, tonight is just for you.”  She grew serious, “Before, when we were together,” she took a deep breath, “I used you.” She cut of his protest. “I took everything from you and gave nothing of myself back.”  Suddenly unsure Buffy closed her eyes before whispering, “I want to give you what you deserved all along.  If...if you still want it...me.” 

Spike pulled her towards him, “Always want you Buffy.” 

Buffy felt relief was across her body.  Reaching to one side she plucked a blood red iris from the ground near the pool.  Rolling onto her side, she used the petals of the velvety flower to trace a path across his chest.  She watched his nipples pucker under the petals touch; leaning forward she sucked one into her mouth, teasing it with her tongue.   

Casting Spike a wicked grin, Buffy continued to move the flower downwards.  Her eyes followed the path it made until she stayed her hand, the petals hovering just above his hard cock.  Buffy watched in fascination as she drew it softly across the tip, causing his member to twitch.  Slowly she traced a path down the length of his shaft, watching as it grew even harder. 

“Buffy, please!” Spike begged.  She had bought him to the edge of release several times then stopped; he didn’t think he could handle much more. 

Buffy let the petals dance across his balls before pulling it away and straddling his thighs.  Bending low Buffy glided up his body, letting his cock lightly caress her skin as she moved.  She pressed an urgent kiss to his mouth, as she took him in her hand and guided him towards her slick opening.  Buffy then began to sit up slowly forcing his cock deeper as she went.  Pausing only for a moment she allowed herself to enjoy the feeling of his thickness stretching and filling her.  As she began to rock gently, Buffy gasped as Spike pressed his fingers against he clit, flicking it lightly.  Buffy increased her movements as she felt the heat beginning to build in the pit of her stomach.  Suddenly Spike surged upwards pulling her flush against his body as his cock plunged upwards. 

Their movements became frantic.  Hands roamed, mouths found each other, tongues battled, and teeth nipped at tender skin.  So engrossed in the pleasure they gave each other, neither of them noticed as a multitude of petals began to drift down from above, blanketing the ground around them, settling on their damp skin and filling the air with their heavenly scent.