Chapter
Seven
Her
hands were sweating. Buffy stared around her, trying to get her bearings in
the alien surroundings of the municipal building. She didn’t want to be
there, but Dawn had messed up big time and she was terrified. Alone and
adrift, this was something she knew she couldn’t slay. Bureaucracy – it
won every time, she was in a Kafkaesque nightmare.
She
rubbed her hands over her eyes and blotted the insipient tears, and then
briskly fluffed her hair around her shoulders. Buffy rubbed them on her
skirt and tried to paste on a confident smile. Dawn’s petulant presence to
her left wasn’t helping. When she had hauled Dawn out of class for the
meeting, they had screamed and shouted the whole trip, Buffy cursing herself
for not getting her permit so they could fight in the privacy of the jeep.
Instead, they had walked the whole way into town yelling at each other. She
glanced around at Dawn and was met with a spiteful glare. Buffy sighed,
knowing that Dawn was on the defensive because of her screw up.
Looking
away, Buffy tried to find something to distract her from reaching over and
strangling her baby sister. All Buffy could see was the demon that was the
Kroger monster. The social worker sat at her desk sipping her coffee and
ignoring the two girls seated in the waiting area.
“Dawn,
keep still. We need to make a
good impression,” Buffy hissed at her fidgety sister.
Dawn
ignored her and stared down at her hands, she knew all too well what was
coming. The letter Buffy received
was just one of seven she had managed to hide from her sister. But
she had been
running late for school and Tara had rushed her out of the house before she
could check the mail. Dawn sighed. She was screwed.
Some of the letters she had intercepted listed her skipping class,
the others about her shoplifting. All of which she had managed to keep from
her sister. But now this…and just when they were getting on and Buffy was
starting to let her in.
“I
miss Spike,” Dawn sighed. She missed the flinch Buffy gave at the mention
of the dusted vampire and the tears that collected in the wan face of her
sister. She knew that the vampire would’ve probably ripped off her head
for being caught shoplifting and skipping school, but he would’ve helped
her out. Maybe even worked out a way to stop the Social Services from
finding out. Now Dawn was freaked. Buffy hadn’t said what the last letter
was about. She’d gotten that pinched look around her eyes, the same one
she got when mom died. So Dawn knew it wasn’t good. She felt sick to her
stomach for letting Buffy down.
“Summers,
this way please.” Doris Kroger gestured for the two girls to precede her
into the supervisor’s office.
Buffy
leapt nervously to her feet and adjusted her skirt and hair. Giving Dawn a
steely glare, she gestured for her to follow. Both girls ignored the
sympathetic yet smug look the older woman directed at them.
“Ms
Summers, we meet at last.” The director of the department looked over his
glasses at the frail looking blonde woman perched on the edge of her seat.
“We were beginning to think you were dead!” he joked, missing the
startled looks the sisters exchanged.
“Sorry,
but as I told your assistant on the phone, the letter I got this morning was
the first one I saw.” Buffy reached into her bag and pulled out the
crumpled sheet of paper and placed it on the desk nervously. “I spoke with
Dawn and she admitted that she took the others and burned them.” Buffy
wrung her hands together nervously and looked over imploringly at the man.
“Please don’t be mad with her. She
didn’t realise.”
“Ms
Summers, we all know what teens can get up to if they are motivated, and
Dawn was definantly motivated. Her list of wrongdoings would make me go grey
if I were family.” He fixed a firm stare at the brunette teen who stared
mutinously at him, her arms crossed defensively.
“I
know, but surely we can work something out?” Buffy tried to smile but
faltered when she saw Mrs Kroger frown. Her heart began to pound and her
hands got clammy.
There
was a long pause and the supervisor shuffled his papers, unwilling to meet
the pleading gaze of the young woman. Finally Doris coughed and forced him
to look up. He hated this part of the job.
He could see by the older girl’s reaction that she was innocent in
this and that only because of her little sister’s stupidity were they even
in this situation.
He
shook his head. “I’m sorry.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“But
I don’t wanna…pleeease Buffy, don’t let them!” Dawn cried as she
wrapped her arms around her sister’s shaking shoulders.
“I…I…ca…can’t,
Dawnie,” Buffy sobbed as she cradled her baby sister to her and stroked
her hair. She sobbed loudly and stared over at Tara, utterly lost. She tried
to explain to her sister on the way back home that there was nothing they
could do to change their minds. It was a done deal. She had thought Dawn had
understood that she had to be on best behaviour since their mom had died,
but obviously the teen had not. Now she was reaping the results of her
rebellion. Buffy wanted to throw up. She had failed at the one thing she had
promised her mom, to keep Dawn safe. Instead she had died, thinking that
would be the one thing she could do to guarantee her sister’s ongoing safe
existence. When instead it had led her off the rails, cutting class and
stealing. When she had come back, Buffy had tried to communicate with her
angry sibling but teen hormones had gotten in the way, and then Spike. ‘Oh
god! It had all gone wrong when
Spike had died…she had become a hermit and Dawn had needed her…she
needed to fix it.’
The
quiet girl stood there wringing her hands together and staring at the soggy
mess of the sisters with tear-filled eyes. She was totally lost. She had
never thought this could happen; all of them had fought so hard to keep Dawn
safe from the monsters and Hellgods that they had forgotten about humans.
“Buffy, what can I do?”
Buffy
looked over that the distraught wiccan and shook her head. “Nothing.
It’s out of our hands. They
are coming tomorrow and that’s it.”
“I’m
so sooorrryyyy…” Dawn cried as she hyperventilated and then dry retched
over and over. Guilt filled her and poured out of her. She had messed up big
time and there was no way it could be fixed. She didn’t want to go.
“I
know But sorry isn’t gonna cut it this time. Why didn’t you tell me? If
I had known then maybe something could’ve been done,” Buffy whispered
and rocked Dawn in her arms. They were curled up together on the couch,
shivering in each other’s arms; Tara sat down behind Dawn and gently
stroked her shoulder. She winced at the tension in them, but carried on
soothing her.
“I
couldn’t. You were so blue
and hiding in your room and I know what I did was wr…wrong. I didn’t
want you too be ashamed of me!” Dawn
whimpered. Buffy gritted her teeth and managed to suppress the impulse to
slap her sister for her monumental stupidity. She knew that they were both
to blame in some ways, but now there was nothing that could be done. No
magical save, no diving head first off a tower to save the day…nothing but
the cold hard harsh reality of life.
“Ho…how
did they find him?” Tara asked hesitantly.
“Some
sort of financial search. It
appears the IRS knows more about my dad than his own family,” Buffy
replied bitterly. She wondered what her dad had thought when he got the
call; he had managed to avoid all his parental responsibilities until now.
“I
don’t wanna go. I don’t even know him,” Dawn sobbed.
Tara
spoke, her voice firm, surprising the heck out of Buffy. “Well, Dawn, you
should’ve thought about the consequences of your actions beforehand.
It’s way too late now, sweetie.” Buffy stared at Tara over Dawn’s
shoulder wide-eyed. She mouthed
‘thank you’ for voicing everything she had wanted to.
Dawn
pulled out of Buffy’s arms and stormed upstairs without a backward look,
her bedroom door slamming breaking the silence of the house.
“When
is he arriving?” Tara reached over and took Buffy’s achingly thin hand
in hers and held it gently. .
Buffy
tore her eyes away from the stairs and looked over at Tara with a wobbly
smile that faded away almost instantly. “Tomorrow morning.
He’s driving down from San Francisco tonight and staying in a
motel.”
“Did
you talk with him?”
Buffy
shook her head. “No, he was already driving. I dunno what to say. Think he
wants to take me as well?” she asked bitterly. She knew full well that the
only reason he was coming for Dawn was because the government had told him
to, otherwise he could face a court summons. That would so not look good at
work. She knew that was the only reason he was collecting Dawn and imagined
that within days the novelty of being a dad again would wear off and Dawnie
would be packed off to boarding school.
Tara
tried to smile, but failed. Everything was going wrong. It was getting worse
daily and she was starting to lose faith that the goddess could help. The
sisters were about to be torn apart, and after everything Buffy had
sacrificed, Dawnie had to mess it up. “I’m sorry. Did they say if it was on a trial basis or permanent?”
“Until
she’s eighteen.” Buffy curled her fingers around Tara’s and started to
weep. She was so tired and now this, everything she loved was being taken
from her and it wasn’t fair. She couldn’t cope…it was too much.
“Can
you visit?” Tara was grasping at straws she knew, but the distress
emanating from Buffy was overwhelming.
“They
said it was up to Dad.” Buffy’s doubtful expression told it all.
“Oh
sweetie.” Tara took her in her arms and held the shivering Slayer tight.
~~~~~~~~~
“I’m
sorry.” Dawn rested her head on Buffy’s shoulder. They were seated on
the stairs of the porch watching the street for their dad. Behind them stood
Tara, Xander and Anya, silent sentinels all in faithful attendance offering
their support.
Buffy
sighed and wrapped an arm around her lanky sister’s shoulders. The two of
them had curled up in bed together and talked all night, Buffy exacting
promises that Dawn would behave for their father and that she would keep in
contact. Dawn had been subdued and promised anything. She wanted to cry but
stopped herself, not wanting their last night together to be a soggy mess of
weepiness. She had sat in her bedroom most of the afternoon, contemplating
running away. She had wished that Spike were still around, hanging out in
his mouldy old crypt so she could sneak out and go talk to him. In the end
she had stayed, not wanting to break Buffy’s heart anymore. She could hear
her sister crying with Tara and all the recriminations as well. Buffy blamed
herself for what had happened and part of Dawn shrivelled and died that
night.
“I
know, Dawnie. I know,” Buffy sighed. She so did not want this, her dad
making an appearance and taking away the only family she had left. A small
part of her wanted him to take her too, to make it all better, but from the
embarrassed looks yesterday, Buffy realised that her dad hadn’t even asked
after her.
“Buffy.”
Xander’s voice was subdued as he gestured to the car that drew up to the
curb. Buffy had been too busy memorising Dawn’s face to notice. Sighing,
she pulled Dawn up and turned to face the car. Her eyes narrowed at the
sight of the Mercedes that idled at the curb.
“Looks
like dad’s been doing well,” she muttered to Dawn as she picked up the
first of her sister’s suitcases. Bitterness filled her at the memory of
the pile of unpaid bills sitting on her mom’s desk.
Dawn
pulled back, unwilling to meet her father for the first time. She had wanted
to for so long, but not like this. Not when he was coming to take her away
from Buffy and everyone else. Not when she had messed up so badly that they
were separating her from Buffy. She felt dizzy and sick.
It was all her fault and there was no changing it now. She wished
over and over that her mom had never died and wondered if it was because she
was here that Mom had died. Sometimes in the dark of night, the thoughts
would clamour around her. Had
her arrival and need for Buffy to protect her with her life led to their
Mom’s death? It was all about balance, wasn’t it? That was what Spike
said-- and so had Anya. For every spell there was a consequence. The monks
had used some serious mojo to create her, had her mom’s tumour been the
payment for the new life?
Something
cold clutched at her heart, magic—balance – Buffy. Dawn looked over at
her red-eyed sister. ‘What price would they have to pay for Willow
bringing her back?’ Terror etched lines around her mouth and she tried
to say something. To warn them that they had to pay the price, but she was
interrupted.
“Ms
Summers.” Doris Kroger stepped out of the car and stood by the curb
fiddling with her paperwork. Buffy glared at her, wondering if she could get
away with puking on her shoes or something. If the busybody hadn’t
interfered then Dawn would be staying. Buffy wanted to stomp her foot like a
child and scream at her. Or at the very least, frighten her into early
retirement. But before she could act out her childish imaginings, another
door opened and he stepped out of the car in front of her.
“Buffy.”
Her dad’s voice hadn’t changed. She looked over and there he was. Time
and screwing his younger women hadn’t been kind to him. She hated him for
so much, especially for the way his eyes drifted dismissively over her and
focused on Dawn.
He
was there for Dawn, the pretend sister. Not for her.