"The Subtle Notes In-Between"
Chapter 6
Spike
closed his eyes as she pushed his head under the
lightly scented water. He felt safe-- warm and
content for the first time since he and Buffy had
curled up in each other's arms and slept the night
away in a strangers' house in Sunnydale.
Buffy chewed her lower lip as she stripped off the
sundress and her panties and then swung her legs
around and into the tub.
Spike, unaware of the woman of his dreams sitting
naked above him, slid down on his tailbone and began
to stretch out. The heat from the water was doing
wonders for his aching muscles and despite the sting
of his wounds he was feeling better.
Buffy watched Spike doing his porpoise impersonation
with a faint smile on her lips. She had hesitated
about joining him. All her bravado was gone. What if
he didn't want her to get in with him? What if he
didn't want her anymore? She kicked her feet in the
water and sighed. She loved him. But what if he
didn't feel the same anymore?
Spike felt something swish in the water near his
head and reached up with his hand and grabbed her
ankle. Smirking, he pulled her into the tub with
him.
"Eep!" Buffy squeaked as Spike yanked on
her ankle and she slid into the water with a splash.
He rolled onto his side and ran his hand up her
body, silently appreciating the new curves that were
gracing her form. He knew better than to mention her
added curves, as it would result in a month of Soya
patties and water.
"Spike," Buffy giggled as they both
surfaced. She blinked her wet lashes at him and
grinned happily as he tickled her sides with the
lightest of touches.
Spike laughed, a deep joyful noise that filled the
room. He gazed at her beautiful smiling face,
drinking in her features like a man who was parched.
Her long lashes were spiky and stuck together from
the water and framing her large twinkling eyes, her
short hair was plastered down and darkened by the
water. "What's this little mermaid I've
caught?" Spike teased as he tickled her into a
riot of giggles. Her squirming body writhed against
his, causing him to sigh in contentment.
"No...nnnnooo, stop it! I'm meant to be looking
after you," Buffy giggled as she tried to
wriggle free from his teasing fingers. She sat up
and pulled Spike up against her chest, lulling his
head in between her pert breasts and running her
fingers through his curly wet hair. She grimaced as
her fingers tangled in the demon blood that had set
like concrete, Buffy's nimble fingers tried to tease
the clumps apart.
"Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow and a what the ruddy
hell are you doing?" Spike yelped. The pain
that was radiating from his scalp down his neck was
the last straw, he began to shake and his teeth
chattered.
"Spike?" Buffy gently turned him in her
arms and then held his face in her hands, trying to
see what was wrong. He had his eyes screwed shut as
he shivered over and over. Buffy wrapped her legs
around his waist and pulled him closer. Spike's now
limp cock nestled in her course curls and he slid
his arms around her back, clutching her to him. His
lifeline, his hope and his salvation all wrapped up
in a small
Then for the first time in years-- not since she'd
killed herself to save her sister-- he cried. Great
heavy sobs wracked his battered body as Spike
finally gave in and purged himself of all the anger,
hatred, depression, grief and pain he hoarded
zealously inside himself. Spike dropped his face
into her cleavage and just let the tears flow, his
mouth opened and closed as he tried to form an
explanation as to why he let himself lose control.
Buffy wrapped her arms around his head, trying to
shelter him from everything. Her legs tightened
around his waist, attempting to pull his shuddering
body closer. Offering him shelter in the storm of
his emotional turmoil. She murmured nonsensical
words into the crown of his head, trying to soothe
him. But deep down she knew Spike needed this. He
needed to purge himself of all of it and if that
meant she held him in the cradle of her arms and
legs, here in her bathtub as he wept, then so be it.
That was what true love was all about, taking the
bad with the good. Being there to pick the one you
loved up and set them back on the path, give them a
shoulder to cry on and be their haven. Selfless love
was a hard one to learn and she had only just begun
to understand what it entailed when Sunnydale fell.
His sacrifice had been her epiphany and Buffy hoped
that he could see how much she had changed and how
much she loved him.
He was so tired. Spike couldn't believe the
exhaustion that wracked his beaten up body and mind.
But she was holding him, trying to help, trying to
soothe him and that was pure nirvana for him. Her
embrace was balm for his frazzled nerves and her
cooing voice pacified his aching heart. As he lay
there nuzzled against her breast, Spike slowly began
to believe her final words in the Hellmouth to him.
That they weren't a sop for the dying man or
something for him to cling to as he burned up and
maybe, just maybe, she really did love him.
She had come to LA and saved him. Maybe it wasn't
for Peaches. It wasn't as if she were sitting at his
sickbed cooing over his missing arm. Instead she was
here, her warm supple body wrapped around his, her
arms and legs tightly wound around him, her voice
soft and loving as her hands stroked up and down his
back.
Buffy pulled her hand away from his back. It felt
warm and sticky. She held it up and stared in horror
at the blood on her fingers. She'd re-opened his
wounds. "Spike, I'm sorry...Spike." She
pressed a kiss to his temple trying to get his
attention. She could feel his tears running down in
between her breasts and mingling with the cooling
bathwater that was now tinged pink from his blood.
"Sorry love, it's just—"
"I know sweetie, you just needed to let it all
out. But Spike, we need to do something about your
hair and then I need to re-dress you wounds… I
made you bleed again. I'm sorry."
Spike raised his head and looked deep into her eyes,
his gaze searching. It was so familiar-- that deep
look he gave her-- that Buffy nearly burst into
tears, too. She had missed him so much. Too much.
Spike saw the maelstrom of emotions in her eyes, and
gave into the yearning he had been suppressing since
waking in the hospital and seeing her there. He
leant forward and kissed her, a deep soulful kiss.
His lips moved smoothly over hers; his tongue slid
against them begging silently for entry.
Buffy moaned as her lips parted and Spike's tongue
slipped into her warm mouth. It traced the edges of
her teeth before dipping in and tangling with her
tongue. The kiss was lingering; soft and sensual.
Spike savoured her taste and with each pass of his
tongue against hers he moaned into her mouth. His
hands clutched at her as he nipped at her lower lip
with his teeth and then began to rain kisses along
her jaw line and down her throat where he paused and
then dropped his head against her neck and sighed
happily. Content and safe.
"Love you, pet," he whispered hoarsely
against her throat.
"Me too. I love you, Spike." Buffy held
her breath waiting for him to refute it. Her heart
pounded faster and faster and felt like it was going
to break through her chest.
Spike frowned at her accelerated heart rate and the
slight scent of worry that she emanated.
"Love?"
Buffy squeezed her eyes shut and clung onto him.
"Slayer? What's wrong?" Spike's heart was
in his throat, what had he done wrong? Maybe she
didn't want to hear his declaration. His stomach
lurched and he tried to pull away. But she clung to
him like a monkey, her embrace tightening to the
point of pain.
"Just don't say it
please...please...please," she begged.
"Say what?" he rumbled against her neck.
Spike felt her gulp hard and draw in a shaky breath.
He frowned and brushed a soothing kiss on her
fragrant skin.
"’No, you don't. But thanks for saying
it,’" she whispered hollowly. The same words
he had uttered to her in the collapsing Hellmouth.
The same words that had haunted her ever since,
echoing in her head night after night once she had
curled up in her bed.
Spike frowned, the words were familiar but he
couldn't place…'oh bollocks.'
He disentangled himself from her arms and legs,
reluctantly pulling away from her warmth and then
pulled her into his arms, rocking her slowly back
and forth. "Buffy love, I didn't mean it. I
just wanted you out of there and safe. Would've said
anything to keep you alive. One of us had to live--
to go on living.” He echoed the words he’d sung
to her with a wry smile.