The Bloodshedverse gets it's revenge.
by SpikesKat
This is decidedly tongue-in-cheek humor, and I'm only doing it because I know he'll get a kick out of it, and will come up with something equally depraved for me. But, as long as it includes Spike... meh... who cares. Besides, who wouldn't like to experience a little torture at the hands of a Slayer??
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Chapter 1
Buffy easily vaulted over
the charging vampire’s form, arms outstretched to break her fall as she rolled
in a smooth motion once her hands touched the ground – swiftly reaching her
feet and assuming an attack position.
“Nice move, luv,”
Spike leered at her in a sexy "let’s-hurry-up-and-finish-this-fight-so-we-can-go-shag" kinda voice.
“Focus, Spike!” she
shouted at her peroxide-headed lover. She
winced as he took a sucker punch to his jaw for his inattentativeness.
“See!”
“Bitch,” he murmured
without malice, rubbed his throbbing jaw, afterwards moving it from side-to-side to
work through the pain.
“You’re gonna pay for
that,” he growled at the fledgling.
He was all set to haul off
and rip the younger vampire’s head off in retribution when suddenly…he was
just standing there…waiting.
“What the bloody
hell?”
He glanced at the Slayer
and she was doing the same thing – standing there, poised, ready to spring
into action. He watched as she
placed her hands on her hips when she realized she wouldn’t be finishing off
the vamp anytime soon.
“Dammit!”
She turned around and
looked at Spike. Yep, same
thing…just standing there waiting…like someone had hit the Tivo button –
pausing their fight.
Shit.
It could only mean one thing.
The two blondes eyed each
other, their eyes narrowed as they came to the same realization at the same
time.
“Redwulf!”
His name sprung from their
lips like a curse.
~*~*~*~*~
Spike
pinned the Slayer in front of him against the wall and grinned maniacally –
his hands tightly gripped her wrists as they stretched high above her along the
wall.
“You
like that, pet?” he leered, grinding his jean-clad cock against her ass, his
chest flush against her back.
She
fought against him – just hard enough to goad his demon – and ground out,
“You know I don’t…you’re an evil monster and I hate you!”
They’d
played this role many times, the two of them.
She’d always start out mean and sassy, like a cat hissing and spitting
as it’s dunked into water for its bath – but one lick…one tiny nick of
fang against her flesh, and she was putty in his hands.
Spike
opened his mouth and lowered his mouth towards her delectable neck, eyes intent on
the rapidly beating pulse that was his target…eager to retaste the sweet
ambrosia of her blood. He could feel
the intake of breath at her anticipation, smelt the arousal coating the scrap of
lace that passed for her knickers…
He
was just about ready to sink his elongated canines into her flesh when he
stopped. Beneath him he could feel
the Slayer waiting…her body tense.
But,
he moved no further.
Fuck!
Buffy
glanced back over her shoulder and looked at Spike.
She was ready to get laid, dammit! At
the expression on her lover’s face she repeated his silent curse.
Fuck!
She
turned back around, her forehead falling forward against the wall in
frustration.
“Wulfie!”
she growled.
~*~*~*~*~
INT MAGIC BOX:
Anya is standing behind the counter, counting money – as always – in the
till.
**tinkling of the bell
over the door signaling a customer**
Buffy storms in, pissed off. Spike is right behind her, equally annoyed.
Buffy: Dammit, Spike!
That’s twice now. Fuck.
And, I don’t even want to mention…
Spike: You don’t have to
tell me, pet. Just as brassed off as
you…
Buffy turns away from the
vampire and glances at the occupants – only Willow fails to notice their
entrance.
Buffy:
Willow!
When that shout doesn’t
get her attention, the Slayer calls her name even louder.
Buffy: WILLOW!
The redheaded witch reacts
as if she’s been scared to death.
Willow: Buffy!
Goddess! You scared me to
death!
Buffy: (contrite, sorta)
Sorry, Wills. But, it’s
gotta stop. I mean, come on… I was
just about to…
Spike: Just about to what,
pet? (He leers at the Slayer.)
Buffy glances at Spike and
blushes, then recovers.
Buffy: Just about to kick
some vampire ass! Yeah.
Haven’t had a good lay… er, slay… Haven't had a good slay in a while now.
Willow, you have to do
something!
Willow:
What do you want me to do? And,
for that matter…what are you talking about?
The two blondes speak at
the same time.
Buffy: Wulfie
Spike: Redwulf
The witch looks confused
for a moment before realization dawns on her face.
Willow:
Ahhhhh….
Slayer and vampire walk
over to the table at Willow’s urgings and take up positions behind her.
Anya rolls her eyes and goes back to counting money.
Xander groans in disgust while Dawn snickers.
The tinkling of the bell hung above the door announces a new arrival.
Faith: Hey ‘B!
Spike. Scoobs.
Buffy: (to no one in
particular) What’s she doing here?
Faith: What can I say?
It ain’t all about the (air quote) Spuffy love.
I was just about to have me some hot sex with that gorgeous vampire you
think is yours when suddenly… fffftt…nothing.
I’m pissed. I’m horny.
And I’m looking for a little payback.
Buffy puts her hands on
her hips and shifts glares between the fellow Slayer and Spike.
Spike:
Wha? ‘S not like I can
control what’s written.
Buffy smacks him on the
arm, just because. Faith saunters
over to the two and glances over their shoulder.
Buffy: (mumbling) When I
get my hands on the one that wrote that…
Faith:
Pffft… yeah right. Then
where would you be? The Bloodshed
bitches stick together. You think
this is bad now… you’ll never get la- erm, won’t get to fight those
nasties if you go messing with them.
Faith, properly in awe,
trembles slightly at the power of the bitches.
Buffy: (ignores Faith)
Will? What can you do?
Willow:
Ummm… I’ve got a spell. It
can send you to the Bloodshedverse. Should
be able to get to this Wulf-person that way.
I think.
Spike: (mumbles) Don't
like it… Magic always has consequences.
Willow: It really is a
simple spell, Spike.
Dawn perks up at the
mention of a spell.
Dawn: Ooohhh!
Can I go?
Spike and Buffy speak at
the same time.
Spike: No!
Buffy: NO!
Dawn: Well, you’re no
fun.
Buffy: Then it’s
settled. Spike and I will go to the
Bloodshedverse and inflict a little torture (Spike cocks his scarred brow at
this) um, we’ll go and set RedWulf straight so we can get back to doing our
thing.
Faith: I’m going to.
Buffy: No you’re not.
I need you to stay here and keep an eye on things.
Spike and I will go.
Faith: Screw that.
You just want him to yourself.
Buffy: So?
Faith: So?
That’s all you can come back with.
Willow: (interrupts before
things get out of hand) Um, actually, Buffy…Faith’s right.
Seems the spell stems from a telepathic wish.
They want Slayers.
Buffy: (confused) They?
Willow: (blushes slightly
at the word bitches) The Bloodshed
bitches, they.
Buffy:
Oh….
Spike: Hey!
Wot about me? See… told
you. Consequences.
Willow:
Sorry, Spike. Gotta go with
the wishes here.
Spike grumbles and goes
off to pout prettily. He flounces to
the stairs and plops down on them, no longer interested in the proceedings.
Buffy: (walks over and
consoles) Awww, baby. It’s just
for a little while. (whispers) And, think what fun we can have when I get back.
Spike: ‘S not right.
I wanted to inflict a little torture.
‘S not like it wasn’t me wot was about to sink my fangs in your purty
li’l neck, now was it?
Buffy: And, you can do
that just as soon as I get back. I’ll even be extra submissive-like…your
demon’ll love it. Now, keep an eye
on Dawnie for me, and see that she doesn’t eat just ice cream for dinner.
Buffy winks saucily and
plants a kiss to the disgruntled vampire’s cheek.
She walks back over to where Willow and Faith are going over everything.
Buffy: Ready, Wills?
Willow:
Uh huh.
Willow whispers a few
Latin incantations and in the blink of an eye Faith and Buffy morph into ones
and zeros and are sucked into Willow’s laptop.
Spike:
Hey! You didn’t say that
was gonna happen!
Willow: Sorry?
~*~*~*~*~
“This is wicked cool,”
Faith murmured appreciatively as she eyed the numerous computers, women chatting
quietly to one another instead of typing. All
around them were various pictures of Spike – vamp!Spike, humandisguise!Spike,
naked!Spike. Whoa! Naked Spike.
Yum!
“Focus, Faith,” Buffy
muttered.
Bits and pieces of
conversation were slowly making their way over to where the two Slayers stood
standing inconspicuously beside the door.
“…torture…torture is
good.”
“…lock him in a
room.”
“…ban him from
chat.”
Peals of laughter could be
heard at that remark.
“…getting it on with
Riley… or even Angel.”
“Ugh!
I don’t think I can even write Riley having sex!” a raven-haired girl groaned.
“Or Angel. Now
Angelus…”
“Kat, get your mind out
of the gutter.” This from another dark-haired woman bearing a red streak in
her hair.
“What?!? I’m just saying…” She winked saucily at the other woman. The two shared a look.
“Schez can write the
Riley…” This brought another peal of laughter.
“Wonder what that was
about,” Faith murmured to Buffy.
“Who knows?”
Deciding to make their
presence known to the bevy of women clustered away from their computers, Buffy
cleared her voice. Loudly.
“Damn, Always, it
worked!”
That comment seemed to break the silence and the two Slayers watched as the women erupted into hysterical laughter.
tbc...