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Chapter 30

Half awake, half sleep, Buffy lay nestled in the cool embrace of her vampire husband. She didn’t move to pull away from him, not wanting to wake him just yet. She remembered drifting off, his cock still tightly sheathed within her body. The feeling of rightness that had settled over her…even if it had been so wrong.

Only had it been?

Emotions in an uproar, the Slayer laid still, her mind going over everything she’d ever been told. By Merrick. By Giles. And even the Council. Everything she’d been taught to believe, what she knew in her heart to be true. Comparing it with what she’d recently been told by Doyle, the Powers’ messenger, and what brief glimpses of life she’d managed to witness thus far in this time period as Elizabeth. She just couldn’t seem to reconcile everything, every teaching, with what was happening now. Here in the past.

Throw Spike into the mix, and she was just more confounded than ever. Here he was, a master vampire looking to bag his third Slayer. Had no doubt managed the feat when she’d been affected by the spell on Halloween. Now she was married to him, claimed by him. Accepted into the Aurelius house as one of their own and treated like a revered member because of that claim. No matter that she was human. The Slayer. Not that they knew she was the Slayer, she remembered that much from Doyle’s announcement. But still. Confusion, she could safely say, didn’t even begin to cover the tip of the iceberg.

She just didn’t know what to think. To believe. To feel. Was she just supposed to discard her teachings, her Slayer nature? Embrace her so-called destiny? Her reason for being here?

Buffy shifted slightly, her internal debate manifesting itself into a slight tensing of her body. Behind her, Spike stirred in his sleep, arms tightening about her frame. Pulling her close and nuzzling her neck. With him asleep like he was, she luxuriated in the comfort he unconsciously gave her. Found no shame in doing so…

Why did it have to be shameful?

“What are you so scared of? It’s ok to love him. Elizabeth did. Loved him with an intensity rarely seen among the ton. Or vampires, for that matter. And, though you have your memories back, you’re still her. A woman deeply in love with her husband.”

What was she so scared of? She’d as much as been told that she was here for a reason. With Spike. Claimed by him, for all vampires to know and heed. Married to him, so that humans alike could do the same. What more did she want? Need?

His love.

The thought came unbidden just then. Two tiny words. Something that would have her throwing caution to the wind and embracing this life. Her destiny. She knew he was capable of it. Renee was proof of that. This past week, she could almost see evidence of it. The way he touched her. Late at night after she’d spent hours waiting up for him. The fierce possessiveness that thrilled her while it scared her. The way he could make her feel at just a look, a slight touch of his hand upon her bare skin, or when he buried his fangs so deep inside her throat she thought she’d surely die from the pleasure.

Was that what held her back? A desire to see him as lost as she? As deeply in love with her as she suspected, even now, she was with him?

She mulled over that thought for a moment. Could she allow herself to love him if he were to feel the same way? Her mind said no. That he was evil...would always be evil. But her heart? Well, that was another matter. It told her she was too late. For she already did.

Without the strictures of the present she’d been allowed to just be herself. To just be a girl. A normal girl, albeit, in a different time, and not so much with the normal since she’d been claimed by a vampire. But, she’d had none of the moral code of the Slayer holding her back. She’d loved because she’d wanted to, as if some part of her, buried deep within her psyche had told her that she and Spike were meant to be. And, she’d run with that knowledge, allowed her feelings to grow until they’d finally culminated into everything she’d secretly wanted. To be loved. To belong.

Thrust into the past, she didn’t have to see the condemnation and revulsion on the faces of her watcher, her friends, or Angel, at the mere thought of her loving the blond-headed vampire. Instead, she was surrounded by people, human and vampire alike, that encouraged the match. True, the human upper crust had no idea that they walked amidst the undead. A situation she’d still to wrap her head around. But, there’d been no pointed looks behind whispered hands.

Stranger still was the fact that last night, she’d been rescued by her vampire family, as if it were a given that they’d help her. They'd leapt to her defense when she’d been too shocked to fight back, to thrust her assailants off of her like so much rubbish. It was just one more thing that weighed on her mind. How they’d exhibited more concern for her welfare than their human counterparts that had wanted to do nothing more than violate her body.

Buffy turned over, careful not to disturb Spike while he slept. Her eyes roamed over his features noting the scar in his eyebrow; the long, dark lashes; high cheekbones that appeared etched from marble; soft, full lips turned down slightly as he shifted slightly to resettle himself around her body. Her fingers longed to follow the same path, yet she didn’t want to wake him. Didn’t want to disrupt the peaceful moment. To see him wake with fury in his eyes because she’d left the house without telling him and had almost gotten hurt.

Instead she burrowed closer, a happy sigh escaping her lips and brushing over his bare chest when his arms tightened about her, instinctively giving her the reassurance she needed. Snuggled in his arms as she was, she came to a decision. She wasn’t going to fight this. Whatever it was. Oh, she wouldn’t come right out and declare her undying love, wanting to guard her heart against possible heartbreak. But, she wasn’t going to turn him away, deny him any more. The Powers wanted them together, and that seemed like enough of a stamp of approval for her. Pleased with her decision, and feeling like a huge weight had been lifted from her shoulders, she smiled into his skin and allowed herself to be lulled back to sleep by the soft vibrations emanating from his chest.

~*~*~*~*~

Buffy woke a few hours later when a maid entered her room. Feeling oddly refreshed after her ordeal last night and subsequent internal debate, she slipped from Spike’s arms, pulling the discarded robe around her nude body. She was surprised to see the girl with a complete set of her own clothes in her arms.

“M’lady bade me bring these up to you,” the girl told her.

“Is Renee…Lady Atherton up?”

“Yes. She’s in the dining hall. If you’d like, I can help you dress so that you might join her.”

Buffy’s eyes widened fractionally at that. She was going to have to get used to parading around in the buff in front of the servants if she wanted to fit in. Nodding her assent, she made quick work of the chamber pot hidden behind the screen before allowing herself to be dressed by the maid. It was a good thing she had the assistance, too, because she didn’t think there was any way that she would have known what went where.

Twenty minutes later, her dark hair artfully arranged and garbed in a becoming light green morning dress, Buffy slipped from the room while Spike continued to sleep, hurrying down the steps to see her friend. The warning tingling sensation she felt on the back of her neck was more comforting than not, and if she concentrated hard enough, she was able to tell apart the slightly different signature that separated Renee’s from Spike’s. Interesting.

Pausing in the doorway, she waited for the vampiress to lift her head and acknowledge her presence. Her feet hadn’t made a sound upon the floor, but she knew that Renee had to sense her. Then she remembered. Doyle had said that no one would be able to tell who – what – she was. Her indrawn breath alerted the Marchioness that she wasn’t alone, and the vampiress lifted her gaze from the book she was reading to greet her guest.

“Good morning, Buffy. Did you sleep well?”

Instantly, the Slayer’s face flamed in embarrassment. She sure had. Slept well, in addition to other things, that is.

“Hmmmm, yes. I see that you did.”

She smiled then, a knowing smirk similar to Spike’s, and Buffy’s face grew brighter. “I want to thank you…” she told Renee, gesturing to her attire. “…for the clothes.”

“No problem, dear. Couldn’t have you running home in your unmentionables, now could we?”

“Erm, no. So not of the good.” The Slayer laughed at the vampiress’ confused expression. Clarifying, “No, I rather suspect not.”

“Ahhhh…yes. I forgot there for a moment. Do they really speak like that in the future?”

“Ummm…no? I think I have my own special language. Books never being such a strong suit. TV’s, CD’s…that was more my style…and, I probably shouldn’t be telling you this, now that I think about it.”

“It’s alright. It will be our secret. Now, come. Sit. What would you like for breakfast? Or, should I say lunch?”

“Normally, I’d say, ‘whatever you’re having’, but I’m going to go with a simple eggs, bacon, and toast,” Buffy joked.

Renee glanced down at the cup and saucer in front of her and laughed. “I hear it’s an acquired taste.”

The two women laughed, neither shocked at the ease with which they’d settled into their newfound knowledge. Renee was right. They’d been friends before, and with Buffy’s resolve to acclimate herself to her new setting, she saw no reason that that should change. Besides, it didn’t look like the vampiress was going to let her do otherwise. Moments later, her food appeared, and she surprised herself by eating everything on her plate and asking for seconds. Her appetite had come back in full force, now that the stress and anxiety over her situation had abated.

~*~*~*~*~

They settled in the library after they finished eating, Buffy wandering around the perimeter of the room, scanning the books, while Renee sat on one of the chaise lounges and returned to reading. The sheer volume of books crammed into the shelves that lined the four walls of the room surprised her. Did everyone in the ton have a library this impressive?

“Something specific you’re looking for, Elizabeth…I mean, Buffy?” Renee called out.

“Honestly? No… Although, this…” she gestured to herself, “…isn’t really me. I don’t know if I can fit in here. I’m sure to misstep. Say something, do something, that others might construe…”

“...as the eccentric whim of one of the ton. An ‘Original,’” the vampiress finished for her. She sighed then. A gesture so reminiscent of Spike that Buffy couldn’t help but smile. “You just don’t understand how sought after you are among the Ton. And, since many of your friends are members of elite society, the crème de la crème, so to speak, there’s nothing, really, that you won’t be able to get away with. Say even running about at night clad in nothing more than a nightgown? Although, you might not want to make a habit of that quirk.”

Buffy moved away from the bookcase and sat down beside the vampiress.

“That’s just the thing, Renee. In my time…I…well, I had a group of friends that did all my research for me. I couldn’t be bothered because I was the Slayer. My job was to slay things, not read about them. But, this thing that’s coming…whatever it is. I don’t have that. I need to be prepared, both physically and mentally.”

She lifted her head, eyes earnestly seeking those of her friends. “Will you help me?”

“I’m not sure what exactly I could teach you,” Renee replied honestly.

“Languages, what books to read…I don’t know. I just feel so helpless right now. Ill prepared for what’s coming. True, I’ve got time. Some twenty plus years in fact. That should be enough time to give me a crash course, right? Oh, and…I want to learn about you. Vampires, that is. Your laws and customs. Anything that might help me fit in better. Say you’ll teach me…please.”

“I’ll do what I can, you know that. Lord Thornton will—”

“I’ll get his permission,” Buffy interjected quickly.

“Alright. If he says it’s ok.”

“Thank you!” Buffy gushed, throwing her arms about the vampiress. “Thank you so much!”

Renee hugged the girl back, surprised at the bond they’d formed. The ease with which they’d seemed to get past their different backgrounds and revert to the friends they’d been beforehand.

They separated, slipping into polite conversation as a servant entered with news that the Duchess of Sevring had arrived and was waiting in the drawing room. Buffy and Renee rose to greet her guest, the three women settling around the room, discussing tonight’s plans to attend the theater. They were soon joined by Celeste Devlin and Francesca Woodthorpe, and talk turned to Buffy’s recent marriage and subsequent honeymoon, the four other women wanting all the gossip about what she’d done while she’d been away.

There was an awkward moment when she didn’t respond when someone asked her a question. The name Elizabeth not jarring her from her silent musings. But a hand on her wrist to gain her attention, and a request for her friends to please call her Buffy quickly soothed things over. The Slayer was just thankful that Renee was seated beside her.

About an hour later, the three women departed, citing their need to get home and prepare for the night’s festivities. Buffy and Renee saw them out with promises to meet up again later this evening. They’d returned to the library, seating themselves on opposite chairs when the Slayer felt the first pricklings at the scar on her neck. Nothing urgent, more of a nudge really. She ignored it for a moment, not quite ready to depart her friend’s company. Besides, how exactly did you tell your friend that your husband was calling you? Especially when she’d know what exactly he was calling you for. The second tug was a little more forceful that the first, causing her to stand up abruptly and babble to her friend.

“Renee…would you mind…getting clothes…for tonight. Spike…uh, William. Think…I’m…uh…” Buffy pointed upstairs.

“Would you prefer to just get ready here? I’ll have a maid sent round to fetch something for both William and yourself.”

“Yes…yes…that would be fine. Um…you mind?”

“Go,” the vampiress laughed heartily. “Remember what I said.”

Buffy looked at her friend questioningly.

“It’s alright to love him…”

The Slayer nodded, then was gone.

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