Chapter 4

 

 Later that night Buffy, Spike and Giles waited at the Magic Box for the rest of the gang to arrive.

Spike was leaning casually against the counter.  Giles was seated at the research table going through some old journals, still trying to find a reason why Buffy seemed to have retained her humanity even though see was clearly a vampire.

Buffy was pacing the area in front of the counter, wringing her hands nervously.  “I don’t know if I can do this.”

Spike reached out and grabbed Buffy by the shoulders.  “Sure you can, Pet, ‘s just like removing a band-aid, do it nice an’ quick.”

“You’re... you’re comparing me having to tell my friends that I’m a vampire, to removing a Band-aid?” Buffy questioned angrily as she pushed Spikes hands off her shoulders and began to pace again.

“No.  I just mean if you do it quick, be less painful that way.”

Buffy spun to face Spike, her voice tinged with bitterness.  “You want me to just blurt it out?”

“Well yeah, ain’t like you can break it to them softly.”  Spike announced, casually lighting up a cigarette.

“Spike has a good point, Buffy, I can’t see anyway for this to be painless, for you or the others.  Simply ‘blurting’ it out as you put it probably is the only way to do this.”  As Giles spoke the bell on the front door rang and Willow and Tara entered the shop followed by Dawn, Xander & Anya.

“So, G-man, what fun little nasty do you have lined up for us tonight?” Xander asked as he walked over to the table and sat next to Giles.

“Angelus.”  Buffy said quietly.

“A-Angelus?” Tara asked nervously.

“Don’t you mean Angel, Buffy?” Willow inquired hopefully.

Buffy shook her head, “No, I mean Angelus.  I ran into him last night.”

“Oh boy.”  Willow had turned white as a sheet.  “This is not good.”

“Did you have sex with him?” Anya asked.

“NO!!” Buffy hissed.  How could Anya ask her something like that?

Anya didn’t seem to realize just how pissed Buffy was.  “Well how’d he lose his soul?  I thought only you could do that?  That’s what Xander told me.  He said you had sex with Angel, and then he tried to kill everyone.”

“We don’t know HOW Angel lost his soul, but Buffy had nothing to do with it.”  Giles replied in a clipped tone, removing his glasses and starting to clean them.

“Personally I don’t care how he lost his soul.  I say we all grab a weapon and go kick some demon ass.”  Xander was personally more than happy to take care of Angelus.

“No, Tara and I can do the soul restoration spell,” Willow interjected as she began to gather ingredients.

“No, Willow you don’t have to do the spell... Spike killed him.”  Tears began to form in Buffy’s eyes, threatening to fall any second.

“Spike killed Angel?”  Anya asked, a little shocked.

“Yeah.”  Spike replied.  “Not soon enough though.”

“Why, what’s happened?  He didn’t activate Acathla did he?”  Willow was near panic at this stage.

“No... nothing like that.”  Buffy took a deep breath.

“So what was Spike too late for?”  Dawn asked.

“To save me,” Buffy whispered as a single tear ran down her cheek.

“WHAT?” everyone asked at the same time.

“I think it’s best if you all sit down.”  Buffy took another deep breath to help calm her nerves.

“Oh boy, this is not good.”  Willow muttered as she sat down.

Soon everyone was seated, except for Buffy and Spike.

“What’s going on, Buff?”  Xander questioned, dreading the answer.

*Okay, just like removing a band-aid,* Buffy thought as she started to tell the gang what had happened.  “I ran into who I thought was Angel last night.  As it turns out it wasn’t Angel but Angelus.”  She had to take another couple of deep breaths to calm her nerves.  “We fought... I lost...  and he bit me.”

“HE WHAT?” Xander yelled.

“Are you okay?” Dawn and Willow asked in unison.

Buffy looked over at Spike for reassurance; he simply nodded for her to continue.  “As I was saying, Angelus bit me.  Spike staked him... but it was too late, Angelus had almost drained me.” Buffy looked at her shoes as she continued.  “I was dying... and Spike fed me his blood,” she finished with a breathless whisper.

“YOU WHAT?” Xander screamed as he ran over to Spike and grabbed him by the throat.  “THAT’S IT YOU’RE DUST!” he yelled into Spike’s face as he produced a stake from his pocket.

“Hey-hey-hey, I had no choice.”  Spike stammered in answer as he tried to get Xander away from him.

“You son-of-a-bitch.  What, you couldn’t have her so you turned her?”  Xander was furious.

“NO!  I HAD NO CHOICE, I COULDN’T LET HER DIE!” Spike yelled back, still trying to remove Xander’s hand from his throat.

“Yeah well, looks like I don’t have a choice either,” Xander retorted as he raised the stake.  He was about to bring it down into Spike’s chest when a strong hand grabbed his wrist, forcing him to drop the sharpened piece of wood.

Xander turned to see who had stopped him from staking the peroxide pest, only to see a very angry vamped out Buffy.  “BACK OFF XANDER! YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’RE DEALING WITH!” she growled out in a feral voice.

Everyone in the shop looked terrified and even Spike looked a little nervous.  No one knew what Buffy was capable of, or if she could control her temper.

“NOW, I’m going to let you go.  If you make any more attempts to harm my sire, you’ll be very sorry.”  With that Buffy let Xander go and ran to the training room.

Spike turned and looked at Xander. “You bloody pillock!  Look what you’ve done now,” he growled before marching into the training room to see if Buffy was alright.

Xander and the others were speechless.  They all stood in the same spot with their mouths open in absolute shock at what had just happened.

Spike entered the training room only to find a very agitated Slayer/Vampire pacing the floor.  Buffy was still vamped out and was clearly distressed about hurting Xander.

“Buffy?  You okay, pet?”

“Do I look okay to you, Spike?” she replied angrily.

“Don’t get so worked up, luv, he didn’t hurt me.”

Buffy laughed, “I’m not upset over you, Spike.  Why does he always think that I can’t take care of myself ?  Does he really think that I couldn’t dust you if I wanted to?  I’m a big girl... I’m the Slayer for god’s sakes!  I can take care of myself!  I don’t need him jumping to conclusions.”  Buffy was running her hands through her hair as she ranted.  “What if he had dusted you? You’re the only one I can go to.  I don’t know the first thing about being a vampire.  He just makes me so mad sometimes!”  Letting out a frustrated sigh, she sat down on one of the many training mats gracing the floor.

Spike sat down next to her.  He didn’t really know what to think.  On one hand she was saying that she didn’t care about him only to then say that she needed him.

“I think you should just kill ‘im, get it over ‘n done with... Sure would be fun to watch,” Spike said with a cheeky grin.

Buffy gave him a small laugh, allowing her human mask to fall into place.  “You think that’ll help?”

Spike wrapped his arm around her shoulders.  “Can’t hurt to try, luv.” 

“What’s happening to me Spike?  I can feel you inside of me.”  Buffy dropped her head to rest on Spike’s shoulder.

“It’s called Sire/Childe bond, luv.  What happened out there, you protecting me--that was the bond at work.”

“So you what, created your very own bodyguard?”

Spike raised his eyebrows, “Yeah I guess, in a way I have... Never really thought of it that way.  I prefer to think of a childe as a companion.”

Buffy looked up at Spike with questioning eyes.  “What do you expect from me?”

“Nothing, luv, you’re free to do what ever your heart desires.”  They each sat in companionable silence for several minutes, simply enjoying the presence of each other as they tried to digest the ramifications of this situation.  A master vampire, siring a Slayer who could not only go into the sunlight and touch holy items but who had also retained her soul.  The situation was just too surreal. 

  So caught up in their own thoughts, neither Buffy nor Spike noticed Giles standing in the doorway until he cleared his throat.  “How are you feeling?”

“Oh just peachy,” Buffy replied sarcastically as she pulled herself to her feet.

 “D-do you feel up to coming out?” Giles queried a little nervously.

“Is Xander okay?  I didn’t hurt him did I?” Buffy inquired, her voice soaked in remorse.

“No, no not at all, he’s fine.  A little shaken up is all.”

Spike laughed, “Nothin’ a change of grundies can’t fix, huh?”

Buffy playfully slapped Spike on the arm.  “Spike, don’t be such an asshole.”

“Yeah well, luv, just remember to stay upwind of the little twit,” Spike had a grin from ear to ear.

Buffy couldn’t help but laugh.

Spike was overjoyed.  He’d made her laugh again.  As he watched Buffy giggle, he basked in the joy that he was the one responsible for the beautiful smile on her face.

Buffy finally managed to pull herself together and turned to Giles, who was smiling, although trying desperately to hide it.  “We’ll be right out, I just need another minute.  Okay?”

“Of course, Buffy.  We’ll be waiting for you, take as long as you need.”  With that Giles turned and walked out of the training room.

Buffy turned and looked at Spike.  “Okay this is it... damn, how am I going to face them?  They’ll be terrified of me.  What about Dawn?  I don’t know if I can trust myself around her.  What if I hurt her?”  Buffy started to chew nervously on her bottom lip as she paced the floor.

Spike reached out and grabbed her by the shoulders.  Closing the distance between them he placed his forehead on to hers, gently squeezing her shoulders.

“They’re your friends, luv, they’ll understand.  Look at your Watcher--he understands what you’re going through, and so will they.”  As he spoke, Spike placed a light kiss on the top of Buffy’s head. “You can do this, luv, and remember that I’m here for you.  You’re not alone in this.”

Buffy looked into Spike’s ice blue eyes and saw that he was telling the truth, she wasn’t alone.  He would help her through this.

After all, weren’t they supposed to be her friends?  Shouldn’t they just accept her, warts and all, well in her case fangs and all? Why was she afraid of her friends?  She met creatures on a nightly basis that were a lot more intimidating, so why did she have this gut-wrenching feeling of foreboding?  Steeling herself for the inevitable, she took a deep cleansing breath and said in a determined tone, “Okay let’s do this.”  Turning to Spike, she pleaded “Play nice with Xander, okay?  This has got to be hard for him.”

Spike placed his hands on each side of Buffy’s face.  “Okay, luv, I’ll try.  Can’t say I’ll succeed--but I’ll try.”

Buffy smiled and placed her small hand on top of Spike’s.  “Thanks.”  She then took one final calming breath and walked out into the shop to meet the firing squad.

 ~*~~*~~*~

When Buffy and Spike re-entered the shop everyone fell silent, unsure of what to say.

“Wow... feel the love in this room,” Buffy announced nervously, coming to a standstill in front of her friends.

 She walked over to where Xander was sitting looking extremely nervous.  “Xander I’m sorry... I hope I didn’t hurt you.”

“Its okay, Buff, just let me know if you start getting hungry.”  Xander replied with a nervous laugh, Buffy he knew, but he was very unsure of this new vampire version.

“I’m not going to bite you, Xand... Before, what happened, Spike kinda explained it to me.  It’s like this bond thingy that if my Sire’s in danger... well the demon sorta takes over.”

“Oh.  Well that’s okay then, I guess--but seriously let me know if you start getting hungry.” Xander was still in shock from his last encounter with Buffy and he wasn’t quite up to polite conversation just yet.

Buffy’s hurt was evident on her face.  It was just as she feared--they were scared of her.

“Xander!  Buffy’s trying to apologize for something that was your own fault, and all you can do is throw it back in her face?!”  Willow was up in arms at the thought of Xander’s insensitivity towards Buffy.

 “Willow, it’s alright,” Buffy reassured.  She didn’t want Will to be mad at Xander because of her; she felt like she was already causing enough trouble.

Willow looked at Buffy with wide eyes, full of love and understanding.  “No, Buffy it’s not alright I can’t imagine what you are going through and you need our love and support.  Not our distrust.”  She added, glaring at Xander.

As Buffy listened to Willow she started to cry, overwhelmed and relieved that her friend supported her and seemed to understand how hard this was for her.

 “Thank you,” she sobbed out as she hugged Willow tightly.

“Buffy… need to breathe right now.” Willow said in a painfully breathless tone.

Buffy quickly released Willow.  “Oh sorry, Wills.  I didn’t hurt you did I?”

“Nah, I’m fine,” Willow scoffed, wincing slightly when she moved.

“I guess I don’t know my own strength.”  Buffy said with a shy smile.

“S’okay Buffy, I’m just happy that you’re okay.”  Willow tried to hide that she was examining her ribs to make sure none were broken. Buffy had hurt her a lot more than she had let on.  “You are okay, aren’t you?”

“I feel a little better now.”  Buffy answered, giving Willow a sweet smile and turning to the rest of her friends.

“Buffy!”  Dawn squealed as she ran to her sister.

Buffy hugged Dawn, this time containing her enthusiasm in order not to harm her sister.

“Buffy are you okay?  Did it hurt?  Do you feel different?”  Dawn had so many questions she wanted to ask.

Buffy kissed the top of her little sister’s head.  “Oh, Dawnie, I was so scared.  I thought you would hate me.”

“Why would I hate you, Buffy? You’re my sister.  I love you!”

Buffy was overjoyed.  She held her sister close and cried tears of relief.

After a few minutes, Dawn pulled away from her sister and looked in her eyes.  “You said Spike was your Sire.”

Buffy nodded her head, “Yeah.”

“So he’s like your father?”  Dawn asked a little excitedly.

“I guess you could put it that way.”  Buffy was unsure as to what her sister was getting at.

“So that would make him my stepfather?”

Buffy looked at her sister in amusement, “In a really weird hellmouthy kind of way, yeah.”

“Cool!”  Dawn screeched as she ran over to Spike.

“This means you’re family!  That’s so cool!” Dawn squealed as she threw her arms around Spike.

Spike couldn’t help but laugh out loud at Dawn’s excitement over the thought of him being part of her family.  As he returned Dawn’s hug he looked over at Buffy who had a huge grin on her face.

“Doesn’t anyone else have a problem with this?  Look, Dawn is over here hugging Evil Dead, talking about him being part of the family!”  Xander was furious.  “Isn’t it bad enough that he’s brainwashed Buffy?  Now everyone is going to stand by and let him get his grubby little fingers on Dawn, too!”  He started to walk over to where Spike was standing, murder in his eyes.

“You must just love this.  You get to play the innocent vamp who becomes the hero.  Well it ain’t working on me.  I know you, Spike.  You couldn’t do the job yourself so once the opportunity arose you swooped down like a vulture and picked up the scraps.  It wouldn’t surprise me if you knew Angel lost his soul.  You probably planed the whole thing.”

 As Spike listened to Xander rant, he became more and more livid.  It was bad enough that he referred to him as a vulture and Buffy as the scraps.  But to have suggested that he was in cahoots with that bastard Angelus was just too much.

 Spike launched himself at Xander, punching him hard in the face.  Both men fell to the ground, Xander from the force of the powerful blow and Spike due to the excruciating pain the chip inflicted.

Spike quickly recovered and pulled Xander to his feet, shoving him hard against the shop counter while ignoring the tinge of pain the chip caused.

“Why don’t you shut your fucking mouth, Harris?  You have no idea what you’re talking about!  You don’t know me—you’ve never known me—but keep this up and you’re gonna find out more than you ever wanted to know.  You ever suggest that I planned to have Angelus bite Buffy so I could turn her  or refer to her as ‘scraps’ ever again, and I think I might be inclined to see how much pain this chip can inflict while I beat you to death with your own arms after I’ve ripped them from your soddin’ useless body.  You don’t want to fuck with me boy.  Trust me when I say you have no idea who you’re dealing with!” Spike sneered, fury and pain fuelling his rant.

Spike let go of Xander and walked out into the training room, lighting up a cigarette to try to calm his anger.  *That boy needs to learn some respect.  Just who the fuck does he think he’s talking to? If it wasn’t for this soddin’ chip, I’d rip his fucking head off--after we played a few rounds with some railway spikes that is.* Spike couldn’t repress the smile caused by the image his mind had conjured up.  

Xander was still leaning against the counter, a look of sheer panic on his face.  “Did everyone see that?  He hit me!  He must have gotten his chip out.”

“No, Xander, it hurt him when he hit you.  I just think that the things you said hurt him more—or at least enough to make him not care about the pain, anyway.” Willow bit back angrily.

“Maybe you should go home, Xander.  I mean now, before you say something that, you know, gets you dead!”  Dawn was completely fed up; she had been having a happy moment with Spike and Xander just had to start shooting him mouth off.

“I think Dawn is correct, Xander.  It is probably in your best interest to go home.”  Giles was in no way up to refereeing Spike and Xander’s arguments or to watching them kill each other.  It had been a very long day.

“I’m not going anywhere!  If Deadboy stays, so do I!” Xander announced angrily as he walked over to the research table and sat down.

Everyone in the room suddenly became aware of a low growling sound that seemed to fill the room.  All eyes turned to Buffy.  Who was staring at Xander with a cold look of pure fury on her face.

Giles cautiously approached her.  “Buffy, are you alright?” he asked as he reached out to touch her hand.

As Buffy felt Giles’ hand cup hers she quickly snapped out of her rage and looked up at her Watcher with slight confusion and remorse.

Giles looked at Buffy with understanding in his eyes.  “Buffy, dear, are you quite alright?  Should I get Spike?”

Buffy shook her head.  “No, he needs time to calm down.  I’m sure he’ll come back when he’s ready.”

Xander snorted in response.

Everyone turned to look at him.

“What?” he asked.

“You just don’t get it, do you, Xander?” Anya ground out, finally at her breaking point.

“I don’t get what?” Xander asked in confusion. * Had everyone lost their minds? Why couldn’t they see Spike was using Buffy?*

“Spike is Buffy’s Sire!  Do you know what that means?” Anya couldn’t believe how childish Xander was being.

“Yeah, it means he’s got his very own Buffy slave!” Xander replied angrily.

“No, it’s not like that.  It’s like--she can feel what he’s feeling and he can feel what she’s feeling, like they’re connected.  Every time you try to hurt Spike all you are doing is tearing Buffy apart.  Can’t you see that?  Look in her eyes, Xander.  She needs you to support her.  Do you think this would be easy for her?  I’ve never seen a vampire with so much anguish! They’re usually turned and start tearing up the town.  You know no--soul no remorse...” As Anya spoke it suddenly occurred to her that Buffy was showing remorse and restraint and she realized just how odd that was.  “Actually, why isn’t Buffy out on the town painting it red with Spike?” she asked rather enthusiastically.

“Well, Buffy doesn’t seem to be like other vampires.  She seems to have retained her soul, as well as possessing other non-vampiric properties.”  Giles explained.

“O-other non-vampiric properties?” Tara asked.

“Yes, it seems that crosses, holy water, garlic and sunlight have no effect on her.  She still has a reflection, a heartbeat and she needs to breathe.  She also requires consuming both food and blood in order to survive.”

“Wow, that’s so cool!” Dawn gasped.

“S-s-sunlight, you can go into the sunlight?” Tara asked.

Buffy looked over at Tara and nodded her head as she nervously chewed on her bottom lip.

“How is this possible?” Willow asked Giles. 

“I-I’m not sure--I still have quite a bit of research to do.”

“Where do we start?” Xander asked, shifting uncomfortably in his seat when all eyes in the room fell on him.

“Well, I have been going through the Watcher’s  Diaries archives, but so far I have not found any mention of a vampire retaining its human qualities after being turned, or for that matter of any Slayer being turned,” Giles explained.

“Why is that?  I mean, why wouldn’t a vampire turn a Slayer?  Wouldn’t she be a powerful ally?” Willow asked.

“Well, that could be the very reason why a Slayer has never been turned.  Perhaps the Sire would be threatened by a stronger more powerful childe.  The vampire social structure is very basic.  All vampires wish to be the strongest in order that they might dominate other vampires.  One would think that a Slayer turned vampire would be extremely strong and powerful, capable of challenging her Sire and taking over the rule of any other children or minions in the family group.  Also, the whole challenge of hand-to-hand combat with a Slayer in order to turn her would probably prove to be outside the abilities but all of the most powerful master vampires, and these vampires would be least likely to bring threat upon themselves.”  Giles explained.

No one had noticed that Buffy had started to walk away; everyone was too engrossed in Giles’ theories.  She found herself walking into the training room, her mind racing.  *Did Spike think that I would try to overpower him?  If he knew that was a possibility, why would he take that kind of risk? Why would he risk having a fledgling more powerful than himself?  He was a master vampire after all.  Sure, since the chip was implanted he had lost his master status... But he was still a powerful demon, just unable to harm humans.  Buffy’s final question was the only one that could truly shed light on all the others.  Could he really love me?  Buffy only wished she was sure of the answer.*      

 

Chapter 3

Chapter 5

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