Come Back to Me

by Spikesdeb

Chapter 8

Angel and Giles were in the middle of a heated discussion when Fred knocked on the door and entered, tailed by a smirking Spike. The two men were obviously locked in a battle of wills and neither was giving an inch.

“This looks interesting. Can anyone join in the fun?” Spike said as he prowled the room.

Giles dropped his eyes from Angel and turned to go.

“No, Giles. I know we need to talk about…what we were talking about, but there’s something else we need to discuss. I didn’t really want him here, but as we’re stuck with him I suggest we just get on with it.”

Spike snorted. “Keeping secrets now, like a big girl. Oh how the mighty have fallen. You gonna take your ball away, then, Liam?”

“Spike. I can’t make you leave, but I am damn sure I’m not going to have this childish game with you every time I see you. Either shut up or I will find a way to hurt you.” Angel lowered his voice, “Or someone you love. Understand?”

The cords in Spike’s neck bulged as he processed the threat. He knew what Angel was capable of even if the others didn’t. Giles and Fred hadn’t picked up on the implied threat to Buffy, as they hadn’t reacted. Neither of them would even suspect Angel of harming Buffy…or Dawn. But he knew better.

Spike nodded, curtly acknowledging that he knew exactly what Angel was talking about. Battle lines were being drawn.

“The reason I asked you here, and Willow when she gets here, Fred, is that we need to know what to do about him.” He gestured over to where Spike was nervously standing in a pool of sunlight cast through the necro-tinted windows. “What is he, why is he here, how do I get rid of him.”

“You don’t, mate, apparently. I think this may be my punishment, to see your ugly mush every day for the rest of eternity. Still, if there’s any way I can enrich your life with my presence, it won’t be a total loss.”

Spike curled his tongue behind his front teeth, then grinned in a manner designed to infuriate his grand-sire. He knew every button to press, every nerve to twang and he would use that knowledge to keep Angel off-kilter as long as he could. If he was busy baiting him, then Angel wasn’t doing anything to Buffy.

“Not if I have anything to do with it. You’re not wanted here, Spike, by anyone. What use are you unless we start a sideline in haunt-o-grams? I don’t trust you; I don’t trust whoever or whatever sent you here. If there’s a reason, it can’t be anything good, and I want to know what it is, what you’re up to. I will find out. And I will rid myself of you. You can count on it.”

“Oooh, I’m shaking in my shoes.”

“Ah, I think we need to concentrate on the matter in hand,” Giles interjected, “Despite Angel’s views on the subject, I think we’re all agreed that we do need to find out why you’re here, Spike. You must be anxious to know why, too.”

Spike nodded.

“So, it’s time to do some research. In the meantime, I suggest you just…wait.”

“Bugger that, Watcher. I know where Buffy is now and I’m not staying away from her. You’re all so sure you know what’s best for her. Well I’m here to tell you you’re talking out your arses. I’ve watched her. She’s fragile; yeah, I can see that. But she doesn’t need to be left alone; she needs to be loved. And I bloody love her more than all the rest of you put together and I am not going to let her go through this alone. So deal with it. I’ll be with Buffy.”

He disappeared through the door, its closed surface mocking the remaining occupants of the room.

******************************

In the corridor, Spike’s bravado fled leaving him hunched as he strode away. Buffy. He wanted to be with her but how could he of any use to her like this? He had to find a way to get back, to be able to hold her.

That Fred bird would just have to help him. Bugger! He’d left her in the office. Nothing to do but go watch his beloved through the impenetrable glass until Fred was back in the lab.

He sped up his pace as he made his mind up to resume his vigil, the mere thought of being near to Buffy soothing his ire and gracing his shuttered features with a tender smile. Head down, hands in the pockets of his duster, he began to run towards the hospital wing, not wanting to waste another moment. He barged round a corner, straight through Willow.

“Aaaaaargh! Spike! Don’t do that!” Willow shook herself like a wet dog as she spoke.

“Red! Sorry about that…didn’t see you there.”

“Obviously. That is not a pleasant sensation, Spike. Ugh.” She shuddered to underline her revulsion.

“Sorry, pet. I was in a hurry.”

Silence fell between the two. She knew where he was going; he knew she knew and wasn’t saying. Willow thought back to the sight of Buffy rocking herself as she told them all about the last time she’d seen Spike, lit from within in the Hellmouth, and how she’d keened her sorrow after telling the assembled Scoobies and others how she loved him. She flicked her eyes up to take in the appearance of the vampire-ghost. His agony at the separation mirrored that of her best friend.

The love between the vampire and the slayer was stronger than death -- Buffy’s confession was testimony to that – and who was to say that the very reason that Spike was back wasn’t to do with his love for Buffy? It made sense, really, that he wouldn’t leave her in this life, alone.

Why had the Scoobies been so against letting Buffy know Spike was back? She was an adult; surely it was up to her to make her mind up what she wanted? Willow thought about their cavalier attitude in the past, how they’d made decisions on her behalf, chosen the path they thought she should take without paying any attention to what Buffy might want, did it without her knowledge.  She grimaced as she remembered particularly a night outside Buffy’s house when Spike had brought flowers to mark Joyce’s passing, only to be belittled by Xander as Willow stood uselessly by. Sure, she’d commented later that it wasn’t to gain points as there was no card but while he was there… They’d been so arrogant in their presumption.

Well, not again. He’d made huge efforts; anybody could see that. He wasn’t the demon he’d been on that first night at the school. He hadn’t been that demon for a very long time. And yes, everyone knew about the soul now; but she didn’t think that was all. Spike had started to change long before the soul had taken up residence to battle the demon inside him. Take Dawn. She remembered that summer when Buffy had been…away. He’d been constantly at Dawn’s side, helping her to cope with the loss of her sister by sharing stories of her kills, her brushes with death, which curiously soothed the teenager. The two of them had been inseparable, a fact that Xander had found increasingly irritating but that Willow had found comforting.

Willow knew what she should do. She wasn’t the most impulsive of people, leaning heavily towards the logic camp mostly, but this decision felt right. She wasn’t going to fall into line behind Angel and whatever it is he was up to. And she had no doubt he was up to something nefarious. No, she was going to stand by her friend, give her what she needed. And what she needed was Spike. Suddenly she realised, it may not be what she wanted for Buffy, it may not be healthy, it may not be practical – but it was real.

As the decision was made, she felt a weight lift from her. Willow knew where Spike belonged, with Buffy and with Dawn. She wasn’t going to stand in the way any longer. She raised her green eyes to meet Spike’s blue. His brow furrowed in puzzlement.

“What’s up Red? Is there a problem?” His head tilted, eyes intense as he waited for her explanation.

“Not anymore. Come with me. We need to sort something out.”

As they neared the hospital wing, Willow striding along in front, Spike realised what she intended.

“Hang on, Red – no! Not like this. I appreciate the gesture and all, but no…thank you.”

“But...I thought…well, colour me confused.”

“I want to, god you don’t know how much I want to speak to her, see her, smell her, hold her…and there’s the nub. I want to touch her. And right now…I’m useless.” He waved his hand through a pillar in demonstration.

“Oh. Right. I see the problem. But surely you still want her to know you’re here?”

“Would love to, pet, but …well, what’s to stop her walking right through me and out the room? What can I offer her, like this?”

“But you love her, right? And let me tell you – she does love you, no matter what you think. Spike, I’ve never known anyone love someone more than Buffy loves you. You have to believe me.”

“I do, pet, I do. You and that Fred chit have said the exact same thing. Makes me all warm inside, you know? But that’s why I can’t just spring this on her.” He gestured to himself, wanting to make her understand his anguish. “Just wouldn’t be fair, not with the Niblet all out of it. She’s got enough on her plate.”

“Bollocks!”

The raw exclamation from the witch shocked both of them. Willow had her hand clamped over her mouth; Spike had the hint of a smile playing around his.

Willow recovered first. “Spike, don’t you think that anything she could get of you right now would be enough? She’s been mourning you since Sunnydale disappeared into a crater. Just get in there…the rest will follow. Go on!”

Willow found her inner dominatrix and urged the vampire onwards. Surprisingly, he took an initial step backwards, his face a study of shock and awe, then obliged her by scooting past her and heading to the hospital wing and the Summers girls.

No going back now.

***************************************

Angel, Giles and Fred remained in uncomfortable silence for a moment after Spike’s heated departure. Fred was anxious to leave, she desperately wanted to help him and help Buffy but didn’t want to share that with Angel just yet. She’d always be a little in awe of the knight in shining armour who had rescued her from enslavement in Lorne’s home dimension and she didn’t want to have to cope with his disapproval. No, better to investigate the problem and find a solution first.

Giles was still smarting from the angry exchange that had happened before Fred and Spike arrived. Giles had demanded evidence of the agreement between Angel and the law firm, some explanation as to why obvious enemies would gift such a well stocked and richly funded source of knowledge to someone, unless the Senior Partners still had the upper hand. Angel’s smug and dismissive attitude was getting on his last nerve and he was becoming increasingly disturbed by the vampire’s integration into the infrastructure of Wolfram and Hart. He understood the theory behind “team Angel” accepting the offer made by the Senior Partners – working from the inside was, after all, an age-old way to bring down the oppressors. But Angel didn’t appear to be using the information he gleaned to smash the system, but rather to bolster it up. Maybe there was some reasoning behind his methods that he chose not to share at the moment. Giles hoped so: the thought of Angel becoming a servant of the Senior Partners filled him with dread.

Angel, for his part, was revelling in the way he was able to pull people’s strings. Spike was so easy; all he had to do was remind him that people were easily hurt, fragile, and he was falling in line. Well, almost. He still had that uncanny knack of making people empathise with him despite the history of slaughter he brought with him. And that walking out through closed doors gig was getting old. The sooner his people found out what would make the undead completely dead, the better. And he meant his real people, not the watcher and his children. No, the whole research corps of Wolfram and Hart was working round the clock to solve the mystery of Spike. He would be rid of him and then Buffy would be his again.

“Angel, ah – would you be so kind as to allow me to work with Wesley on this? He is familiar with your facilities and I’m sure with our combined efforts we’ll be able to solve the mystery of Spike’s appearance and anchor him to this plane.”

“I’d like to help too, Mr. Giles, if I may?”

Giles turned to smile at the eager brunette. “Of course, Winifred. I’d be delighted to have your assistance.”

“Call me Fred…everybody does, really – Winifred is just for my folks.”

“Certainly.” He turned back to Angel. “Well, unless there’s something else…”

“Sure, Giles, you go and find out how to exorcise the ghost. I want him gone, and sooner rather than later. Just ask Wesley to show you around.” With a flick of his wrist, he dismissed them both, his head bent to the papers on his desk. Giles gritted his teeth at yet more evidence of Angel’s change of demeanour. Something was definitely wrong.

Angel looked up as the door shut behind the two, his eyes burning with venom. Giles may have to be taken out of the picture. He had years of experience in solving unsolvable problems, and that knowledge may give Angel the means to get rid of Spike. But if Giles was to find a way to bring him back entirely… that couldn’t be allowed to happen. No, he’d have Giles watched even more closely. Then he could cull him if he became troublesome.

He reached for the ‘phone to make the necessary call. And where was Willow? She’d been sent for too, and he didn’t like to be disobeyed. He flicked the monitors on, searching for her. He didn’t like what he saw….

***********************************

Spike and Willow were at the entrance to the hospital wing. Willow glanced at her companion as he fell behind her. Any reservation she may have harboured over what she was about to do left her as she gazed at his face.

“Spike?”

“Give us a minute, Red. I’m scared shitless all of a sudden, belly’s jigging about like a ferret in a sack.”

“It’ll be fine, Spike, trust me. Do you want me to go in, talk to her?”

He fixed her with his conflicted blue eyes. “Yeah, pet; reckon that’d be best. I’ll just wait here, you can give me a signal – owl hoot or whatnot?” He smiled, an attempt at flippant.

“Okay, I’ll give you a shout. Just don’t go away. Spike?”

“Yeah?”

“She loves you. That’s all that matters.”

He smiled and nodded in response, not able to form words. Willow held his gaze, willing him to take strength. After all the years of not believing him capable of loving Buffy and definitely not wanting anything to happen between the vampire and slayer, she was now absolutely certain that this was the right thing to do. Maybe it was her connection with the earth, the serenity she’d found since she channelled the scythe’s energy through herself and the slayers, but whatever it was – when something was in tune with the world, meant to be, the harmonics resonated through her. She hadn’t realised it until Spike had done the whole ghost routine and walked through her a few minutes ago. After she’d overcome her initial revulsion, the witch in residence had analysed the sensation and come up with the solution. His aura complemented Buffy’s perfectly; it wasn’t the same exactly, but the two connected. Obviously the Powers had chosen the Slayer and her Champion to have more than a momentary link; what their plan was she had no clue but she was anxious to find out. Gifting him with a reassuring smile, she went to talk to her best friend.

*****************************************

Angel was screaming down the ‘phone. “Get me the mystic now! I don’t care! Just get him…don’t make me come down there…thank you, you’ve just saved your life….”

He smashed the receiver down, then in a fit of rage picked up the telephone and hurled it at the opposite wall. He was having a hard time restraining the demon, the urge to rip and rend becoming stronger with each passing second.

Willow had just been upgraded from irritant to victim. Not only had she disobeyed him, she was actively helping Spike get to Buffy. He didn’t have any delusions about the situation; Buffy didn’t love him – she loved Spike. The Scoobies had proven themselves on many occasions as being more than adept at ripping apart a conundrum. Given time, the combined brainpower of the watcher, the witch and the one-eyed waste of space might give Buffy what she most desired.

Unless he stopped them.

******************************************

Spike watched through the window as Willow approached Buffy and Dawn. Buffy had fallen asleep, her head resting on Dawn’s hand as it lay still and pale on the covers, the book she’d been reading open in her lap. Her honey-gold hair was cascading across her cheek, her face as she slept innocent and wiped free of care. If he hadn’t already loved her with all that he was, he’d be lost in her. As it was, he ached so badly to hold her, kiss her, feel her skin beneath his hands, that it was painful.

He gasped as Willow shook her gently to wake her, hating her initial confusion and immediate panic as she located Dawn and checked on her vitals. He noted Willow’s hesitation, and then listened in as she began to explain the situation.

“So, erm…Buffy…you know you were telling us about Spike and the whole flame-y hands thing, the soul shining?”

“Willow…I…I can’t talk about it. You know, I’m going crazy here – I keep thinking I can feel him, you know? How deranged is that…but what with the lack of sleep and the worry…” Buffy sighed, dragging her hands through her hair then settling back in the chair.

Willow’s eyes remained focused on Buffy’s, the witch’s resolve face to the fore.

“Okay; I can see you’ve got the bit between your teeth. What do you want to know?”

“It’s actually…what do you want to know?”

“Huh?”

Spike moved forwards slightly as the redhead pulled up a chair opposite the confused Slayer. He didn’t want to miss this.

“Buffy…the feelings you’ve been having, sensing Spike…there’s a reason….”

Buffy sighed. “Yeah, I guessed so. It’s this place…it gives me the huge wiggins, Willow. I don’t trust anybody here…except Angel, of course.”

Willow didn’t comment, keeping her feelings about Angel and his priorities to herself.

“No, Buffy. That’s not it…well, actually…it probably is but the thing is…you see, Spike…what I’m trying to say is….”

“Oh for god’s sake, Red, spit it out! I’m dying here!”

Buffy whipped her head round, the familiar voice hitting her right in her gut and shattering her heart into a million pieces.

She stood, the book in her lap sliding to the floor with a crash.

“Spike!” she gasped faintly as he walked through the door to stand at the side of Dawn’s bed. “Spike…”

“Yeah, kitten. I’m back.”

Blue eyes met green; twin looks of awe plastered on their faces as they each drank in the sight of the other. Buffy took a step forward; Spike, a step back.

“Spike… how…I don’t understand…?”

“It’s complicated, sweetheart. Red here’s gonna help Tex figure it out, but right now…you are so beautiful…”

Buffy’s eyes never left the glorious sight of her lover, memorising every angle of his cheekbones, every sinew, just in case it was a dream. She rushed towards him, and then stopped bewildered as he danced out of her reach.

“Buffy! Don’t…I need to talk to you…”

“What is going on? Willow?”

“We don’t know yet, Buffy. But Fred and I will get to the bottom of it – Giles too. But look…Spike!”

Buffy nodded wordlessly, not trusting herself to be able to speak past the lump in her throat. The next sound she uttered was a cry of anguish as she literally saw Spike fade to nothing before her eyes.

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