by Spikesdeb

Chapter 3

Tara checked her watch for the zillionth time, 9.00 pm and still no sign of her lover. It wasn’t like her; the flame-haired spymaster was never so much as a minute late, never mind an hour.  She looked around the busy restaurant, feeling hugely conspicuous sitting alone, and noticed the maitre d’ chatting to the waiter who’d brought her a second glass of wine.  Both men chose that moment to glance her way as she fumbled with the menu, thankful that it was big enough to hide her blush of embarrassment.  By 9.14 pm she decided to leave.  W wouldn’t keep her waiting like this without good reason and the only way to find out what was going on was to go and look for her.  She motioned to the waiter for the check, choosing to ignore the sympathetic ‘you’ve been stood up’ look he shot her way.  Leaving enough money on the table to cover the bill and a tip, she collected her coat and practically ran from the restaurant. 

It was only a ten-minute walk to W’s place so it wasn’t as if she’d be out of breath when she got there, being pretty much out of breath on a permanent basis.  She did have an interesting encounter with a chubby mugger who tried to run off with her purse, but he’d had a change of heart when she flashed her vamp face.  Funny how that always seemed to do the trick.   

Tara felt uneasy as she stood at W’s door.  She thought of the first time she’d been here, her stunned awe when W had warmly invited her in to the first human home she’d entered since being turned.  William was at ease in the company of – for want of a better word – food, but she found it very difficult to deal with her conflicting feelings.  As a vampire she knew instinctively that she should be craving warm, pumping, human blood straight from the vein; but since the horror of being turned and the ensuing suicide attempt, neither she nor her brother had killed a human for food.  She’d survived on animal blood, and yeah, it was hard.  But it would be harder still to carry on, knowing she’d taken another being’s life.  So, for the most part, she kept herself isolated from human contact.  It was easier that way.  Until she’d met William’s boss.   

Wow.  Talk about coup de foudre – and she hadn’t even known whether or not W was gay!  But she did know that she could look at those big sea green eyes and the mass of titian hair forever and that would be enough. When said green-eyed gal made her move and it became apparent that she was not only gay but also definitely interested, Tara could have burst from happiness.   

And now she was loitering at her lover’s door, unsure whether to knock or just slink away.  What if W had changed her mind?  She wouldn’t blame her.  The powerful spymaster could have anybody she wanted, so what could she possibly see in somebody as timid as she was?  As she was about to knock, she stayed her hand.  Should she?  What if W was entertaining somebody else.  If that was the case it’d be a good day to greet the sun, and that would devastate William.  No.  Best to just leave things.  Wait until W got in touch.  With a final glance back at the closed door, Tara disappeared into the night and back to the haven of her own home. 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ 

“So it’s honeymoonus interruptus and back to the action – well some kinda action.  I’m all confused – part of me wants to get at it, you know?  But another part of me wants to…” Buffy grinned wickedly, “get at IT… rip your shirt off and kiss those nipples… bite ’em till you… mmmm…” 

“GOD!!  Buffy!  Please!  We’re doing 90 and I’m trying so hard to stay on the road right now.  And can you please move your hand…” 

“No can do, honey – I love it when you try hard.  Besides you promised to worship me with your body and I need some worship.  There must be a forest or something soon?  Couldn’t we…” 

“Grrrr!  Buffy! You’re gonna kill me!  Bloody hell… can’t even move my leg now to change gear.  Ok, ok – you win.  I’ll pull over.  But just a quickie, right?  We’re needed at HQ.” 

Spike Blond spotted a place and expertly skidded the car to a screeching halt under the cover of some overhanging trees.  He cut the engine, yanked the parking brake on and tore the seatbelt open.  With a roar he lunged at the giggling blonde in the passenger seat, crushing her beneath him.  Suddenly the seat reclined and he found himself sprawled uncomfortably with his hypersensitive groin resting on the gear stick.   

“Ooops - Sorry!  I just thought we’d be more comfortable.” 

“I’d rethink your definition of comfortable, pet.”  Blond winced, “Gear stick in the family jewels isn’t exactly relaxing.” 

“Awww, well – maybe I can do something… kiss it better…” 

The rasp of a zipper opening was soon followed by the gasp of a rampant vampire.  There was a rustle, moans, the creak of leather upholstery.  Lips battled lips to get closer, sharp teeth nipping and grazing the tender flesh.   Another zipper, buttons.   

“Oh… Buffy… yeah…that’s right, kitten…don’t stop….” 

“William… switch… you lie back, ok?”

“Nooo…don’t stop…” 

“Move it, Mr Blond, if you know what’s good for you!” 

“I know what’s good for me…you are.” 

“Awww…” 

More kissing, gasps of pleasure, upholstery springs protesting at the wrestling match taking place in the cramped interior.  Buffy snaked her hand down the cool, firm torso of her husband who was presently laid out on the reclined seat beneath her.  In the moonlight she could just see the glint of his blue eyes, filled with love, lust and amusement as she tickled him on her downward journey to his impressive erection.  He giggled, a delicious sound that rumbled in his chest and made her smile.  She bent to kiss him, whisper soft at first then more urgent as she slipped her hand lower to tangle in the dark curls that clustered at the base of his thick cock.  His tongue thrust into her mouth, his groin simulating the same movement into her eager hand as she wrapped her fingers around his throbbing length.  Buffy sucked on his tongue, squeezing his hard-on and moving her fist slowly up and down.  She rocked against his leg, seeking friction to ease the need building between her thighs.  Letting out a moan, she released his tongue, resting her forehead on his to drag in great gulps of air before homing in again to bite down on his full bottom lip.  

Spike Blond wasn’t slacking either, one hand caressed his wife’s finely muscled back to seek out the bra clasp that slipped open, baring her to his stroking.  He continued around to cup one plump breast, tweaking the rosy nipple to exquisite hardness between thumb and forefinger.  Buffy ‘mmmed’ her pleasure into his kiss.  His other hand insisted on joining in and dipped inside her unzipped trousers finding the moist curls that heralded her arousal. Buffy groaned as he slipped one cool digit between her folds to circle her swollen clit. 

“Why’d we put all these clothes on… get ‘em off.” 

Buffy sat upright as she finished speaking, forgetting the low roof of the car that her head thunked against.  “Ow! Ow…my head…” 

“Aw, poor bossy baby got a boo-boo?” 

“Shut up… I’ll give you boo-boo… later, kiss my bumps later… get these off!” 

She scrabbled at his pants, succeeding in getting them halfway down his thighs.  Her shirt and bra hung off one shoulder, her bare breasts dangling enticingly in front of his lips.  “Oh, crap… look, just pull mine off one leg – I don’t care as long as I can get at you!” 

Spike happily complied, manoeuvring down enough to grab the hem of one leg and pull it, leaving her trailing the inside-out trousers from a still booted foot.  With a snarl he realised he still had her sodden thong to contend with; he shrugged and the oh-so-pretty but oh-so-delicate garment joined the ranks of its predecessors, sorry shreds of lace ripped off in passion.   

“Spike!  That was part of a set!  Dammit, you are so cruel to my frillies.  Why don’t you…oh…never mind…oh…god…don’t stop…” 

Spike knew how to shut her up – he was presently sliding three well-lubricated fingers in and out of her pussy, his thumb circling her clit in counterpoint as she bucked her hips into his touch.  He watched her, her body gleaming pale in the moonlight, her mouth an ‘o’ of pleasure as she gyrated against him, one hand braced on the window the other his chest.  She was miraculous. 

His cock was demanding attention now, the tip leaking pre-cum and bobbing in anticipation.  Spike withdrew his fingers from their red-hot prison eliciting a whimper of loss from Buffy shaking above him.  “Look at me” he whispered, her eyes opening at his tone and fixing on his beautiful face. 

He slid the fingers coated with her juices into his mouth licking them thoroughly, his tongue wrapping around each one in turn before he sucked it all the way in and released it noisily.  

“Guhhhh” Buffy managed, her eyes wide and glazed with lust. 

While she was still mesmerised at the sight of him relishing her taste, running his tongue around his lips to catch any stray drops, he gripped her hips to centre her above his erection and thrust up into her heat.  She fell forwards to kiss him ravenously, her hands tangling in the curls at the nape of his neck, grinding down into his upward thrusts.   The silk of his shirt was a barrier between her breasts and the cool flesh she craved so she pulled, tearing it in her haste.  Her goal reached, she pressed her hardened nipples against him, sighing with happiness into his mouth. 

“Buffy, love… can’t last… you’ve tormented me for miles… gonna come….” 

“Me too… want you so much… come for me now...” 

Buffy clenched her vaginal muscles around his length, the feel of his hard cock sparking a tightening in the base of her stomach that spread outwards, shivers of anticipation signalling that another bone melting orgasm was about to flood her body.  Spike bucked up into her tight pussy, screaming her name when he ejaculated deep inside her, the throbbing of his cock pushing her over the edge to join him in an orgasmic scream of her own.    

More creaks of leather, soft kisses, panting for breath… whispered endearments, giggles of soft affection. 

The knock on the window startled them both.   

“You folks okay in there?  Oh my God!!!  This isn’t a hotel you know!  That’s just disgusting!” 

Buffy looked at Spike, hand across her mouth before dissolving into a fit of giggles that had her coughing for breath.  Spike burst out laughing too, marvelling yet again that this woman was his.  When she calmed, they dragged on the remnants of their clothing, Spike not even bothering with the shirt that was in tatters.  Buffy ruefully retrieved the ruined thong from where it had landed on the gear stick, checking to see whether it was worth a go with a needle and thread.  Nope.  Not a chance. 

“You know, I think I might stop wearing panties.  We’d save a fortune.” 

“Oh please god, say you’re not joking!” 

“Mr Blond!  Please!  Now, don’t we have somewhere to be?” 

“What?  You cheeky bint!  Whose idea was the ‘let’s stop in a forest’ thing?  I was all for going straight to HQ.  It’s you, you’re insatiable!” 

“And whose fault is that?  I can’t help it if I want you all the time… And you’re complaining why…?” 

Spike Blond grinned, his tongue resting against his teeth as he fired the ignition and slid the gear into first.  “Not complaining, love.  Thank every god there is that you straddled me that night in the Bronze.  Don’t know what I’ve done to deserve you, but I can’t be without you - ever.” 

“That works out nicely then.” 

Hands entwined atop the gear stick, he floored the accelerator, and the Aston Martin sped away from the dirt track in a cloud of raised dust.  Playtime was over. 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ 

HQ was crammed with every available operative awaiting the arrival of their number one spy.  Mr and Mrs Spike Blond had been expected an hour ago and although nobody voiced the thought, everybody gathered had a fleeting worry that the newlyweds had gone the way of their missing leader.  In W’s absence, all eyes turned to G to take charge and he was feeling the pressure.  He was more than capable of course, he had the same clearance, even the same training, as W.  They’d spent time together on the same courses and become firm friends.  Secretly, G had harboured hopes that they’d be more than friends – surprising himself since he was perfectly contented with his bachelor status and was a good a number of years older than her – but after a few stuttering attempts at asking her out were politely refused, they’d settled into a warm and mutually rewarding friendship.  True he still adored her, but platonically.  Nonetheless, her absence was causing him great distress and he was finding it difficult to concentrate. 

“What…sorry?” He realised through his musings that somebody had spoken. 

“G…I was just saying, does anybody know if W has family that we should be contacting?  I’ve checked her records but the recent information says that she’s an only child, parents deceased.  I haven’t been here very long… is there a boyfriend, husband?” 

“Miss…Chase, isn’t it?  No, nobody that I’m aware of.  W was…is…quite literally married to the job.” 

Silence descended again, G surreptitiously checking his watch.  Damn! Where the blazes had the Blonds got to? 

The tinkle of the bell over the door jolted everybody and they all looked at the entrance in expectation. 

“No… steamy windows nothing to do with me, love…no breath, remember, no body heat?  ‘Sides, you’re so hot it’s a wonder they didn’t vaporise...  Hey!  Watch the suit…” 

Spike Blond’s voice tapered off as he became aware of the welcoming committee that had, unusually, gathered in the ‘Magic Box’ part of HQ.  Operatives rarely lingered in the shop, as it was the front for their operations and therefore kept mostly low key.  Buffy’s smile froze, her hand still pulling at the lapel of the Saville Row jacket that hung open over husband’s bare chest. 

“Hi!” she managed to squeak out, her eyes darting about to see Spike swiftly button the jacket to try and regain some dignity. 

G shouldered his way through the masses to greet them. 

“Trouble, 00666?” he muttered quietly. 

“What?  Oh… the shirt... no, nothing….s’nothing.  Just…G, what’s going on?” 

“I told you, W’s missing.  She’s been kidnapped.” 

“I know but…is this every active agent?”  He indicated with his raised eyebrow the throng of people pressed into the room. 

“Oh, yes.  Well.  It appears that once news got out they all wanted to help.  We still don’t know where to start so I thought it best to keep all options open.” 

Blond had known G for years and could tell that the quartermaster was scared.  Terrified in fact.  He looked like he was about to snap.   

The spy laid a hand on G’s shoulder, staring into his eyes.  “It's alright old man.  We’ll find her.  We’ll get her back.” 

G gave him a shaky smile, swiftly moving away to take off his glasses, busying himself with wiping them furiously with his handkerchief.  Buffy looked puzzled, even more so when she saw a tear track down his cheek.  She turned to voice a question but Spike stopped her with a small shake of his head.  He mouthed to her ‘later’ and she nodded. 

“Right, people.  Let’s stop arsing about with this.  Everybody grab some research – we need more on Weisswurst - and let’s get cracking.  Harris – you found the parchment, I want a detailed sketch of everything in the apartment, photographs if you have them.  Travers, G here needs to fill me in on a few things so I want you to draw up a list of possible requirements for a rescue mission.   Demons, don’t forget, and right pillocks so keep that in mind.  You… what’s your name?” 

A small, red-haired man gestured to himself with incredulity.  At 00666’s nod, he spoke quietly.  “Me, sir?  Osborne – Daniel Osborne.  I’m in demon languages, sir.” 

“Can you hack a computer, Osborne?” 

“Oz, sir…most people call me Oz, and yes, of course.” 

“You just got your clearance upgraded.  I need somebody to get into W’s database, find out what you can about any contact she’s had with Mr Kiss Kiss or his followers.  Check her computer at home too.” 

“Yes, sir.” 

“You…no… you there, with the brown hair.” 

Cordelia Chase drew herself up to her full height, shifting her weight to one leg before resting her hands on her hips. 

“Yes?” she answered, her eyes sweeping him appreciatively. 

“You’re new.  What do you do?” 

“Oh…this and that…and the other… whatever’s needed.  What do you need me to do?” 

Spike felt Buffy’s snarl building her before it left her throat and placed a warning hand on her arm.  The brunette was either very sure of herself or didn’t know who he was – and more importantly that he was with Buffy.  She shrugged off his hand and stepped forwards.  

“What we need you to do…Miss..?” 

“Cordelia Chase.” 

“…Miss Chase…is to get your mind on the job in hand and act appropriately.” 

Spike took a step back letting Buffy handle this one.  She seemed to be holding her own… which is more or less what he’d be doing if he so much as glanced at the statuesque Miss Chase.   

“Fine.  As I said, I’ll do whatever is needed.  Why don’t you tell me what that is, Miss…?” 

“Mrs. Blond… Buffy Blond.” 

“Oh!” 

Buffy smirked; bull’s-eye.  Jealousy assuaged, she linked her husband’s arm and paraded him through the room towards the classified area.  As they passed Cordelia Chase she stopped, gesturing to Spike to carry on without her.  Rolling his eyes, he left her barking out further orders as he went.  The room cleared, everybody scurrying off to start the search for W. 

“Miss Chase…I presume you were sent to cover my absence?” 

“Well, yes.  I’ve been assigned here temporarily.” 

“Would you care to make it permanent?  I only ask as there will be a vacancy.” 

“But I thought… aren’t you coming back?” 

“Oh, don’t worry.  I’m not leaving.  I’m just trading up.  So…do you want to stay?” 

Cordelia considered her options.  She was presently at the heart of the field organisation, more than she’d expected would ever happen to her.  She’d have daily contact with all the hot studs she’d previously only filed reports on.  She’d got plans for Xander Harris and there were one or two other hotties dotted about that she’d be looking up details on.  And there was Spike Blond.  God, his photos didn’t do him justice…and that voice… Her musings were cut short when she focused on the woman in front of her.  Ah, and there was Buffy Blond.  What the hell, it was too good a chance to turn down. 

“Yeah, ok.  I’d like to stay.”

“Great.  Welcome to Sunnydale.” 

The two shook hands warily.  Cordelia turned to resume her work and Buffy started to walk away.  Her footsteps stopped, the brunette lifting her head in response.

“Oh, one more thing.  British Intelligence want a receptionist who can present a convincing façade – the hooker looking for a customer act was totally believable but hardly professional while you’re on duty.  If you ever look at my husband that way again…” 

Then she was gone, leaving Cordelia Chase swallowing in fear over the unvoiced threat.  God, she was one scary lady.  Maybe just Harris to mack on then… 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ 

Tara was seriously worried.  It had been two days since she’d heard from W, the longest she’d gone without a message apart from the times recently when W had been on a mission.  Maybe that was it, maybe she’d been called away.  But how could she find out?  The only thing she could think of was to ask William.  But William was away with Buffy, on honeymoon.   

The gentle vampire agonised about it, not wanting to bother her brother but desperate for news of W.  And another thing, she’d told no one about her relationship, not even William.  What if he didn’t understand… 

Her anxiety overcame any thought of consequences.  With a shaking hand she picked up the phone and called William. 

After ten rings it diverted to his answering service; she pondered whether she should leave a message but decided against it.  She nibbled on her lower lip, wondering what to do now.  Then she remembered he’d left the number of the hotel they’d be staying at.  Where had she put it?  She scrabbled about the flat finally locating the scrap of paper. 

“Hello?  Yes, can you put me through to Wil…I mean Mr Blond please? Oh, when was that?  Th...thank you; no that’s all, goodbye.” 

William had checked out the day before.  Where was he?  She was now beginning to panic.  Making a decision she grabbed a coat and her keys and headed into the night. 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ 

“My first……my last…………my everythang…….” 

W shuddered when she smelled him coming, then the warty demon wobbled into view, his jowls quivering as he warbled his favourite song.  His stench hit her and she gagged around the rag stuffed in her mouth.  She had no option but to breathe through her nose and she was sure that any minute now her systems would shut down from olfactory overload.  If only she had her hands free… 

“Salutations, my preeeety one; how are ve today?  You are gut, ja?  I can see dat you are liking very  much my singing, Herr Vhite is der master of der love song, ain’t dat der truth.” 

W looked on in horror as the monster preened at one of the many mirrors dotting the underground cavern.  Insane, totally insane. 

“I regret I must absent myself from your delightful presence, mein pumpernickel, a few days only – preparation for der glorious ceremonials when you vill transcend der commonplace and join vid me in der rapture.  I vill be leaving my superior beasts to protect you; dey have mein orders to see dat you vant for nothing.” 

He waddled towards her, bare thighs bulging out of his lederhosen rubbing together with a sweaty squelch, each step nearer intensifying the odorous miasma that surrounded him.   

Up close and personal was even worse – what with the pig eyes, the pustules, and the slobbery lips.  W clamped her eyes shut, ‘Don’t think about the warts… no warts… anything but King Crap drooling away right in front of me’.  Her mind settled on a vision to centre her, keep her sane.  Tara.  Glorious, outlined in moonlight, as she laughs and sips at red wine.  Long hair spread out on a satin pillow.  Silken skin.  A searing kiss. 

She felt wet rubbery lips brush her cheek, and couldn’t suppress a shudder of revulsion.  Of course, the egotistical demon thought it was something else.   

“Patience, my qveen; soon you vill haf your innermost desire.  I vill return for you…and den you vill know such loving dat you haf only dreamed of.” 

With a shimmy of his walrus-like rump, he waddled away singing once more in obsessed homage to the Love Machine himself. 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ 

Cordelia Chase looked up in surprise as the front door opened; it was late and whilst customers were in and out during the day, at night it was usually only spies and spymasters.  Still, she kept to her training. 

“Hello!  Can I help you?  Spells or potions, blessings or curses you’ve come to the right place.” 

“He... hello.  I’m looking for….I mean…is William here?” 

“I’m sorry, Miss.  I don’t believe William works at the Magic Box.  Do you have the right address?” 

“I..I think so.” 

Tara leaned forwards, whispering. “Is this …HQ?” 

Cordelia instantly hit the alarm button, immediately sealing the front door and all other exits with steel and magical barriers.  The noise was intense and meant to disorientate any intruder; to the vampire the high-pitched siren was agonising.  She collapsed to the floor, hands over her ears, screaming. 

Suddenly the door to the rear offices swung open, a blur of blond hair barrelling through to the stricken figure on the floor.  He cradled her, smoothing her hair and kissing the top of her head.  As the siren blared on, he turned to the puzzled Cordelia screaming at her, “Fucking turn that off - turn it off NOW!” 

Galvanised into action, she dived for the reset button beneath the counter.  She had no idea what was going on but angry Spike Blond was not something she wanted to deal with.  Silence returned save for the sobbing of the woman on the floor. 

“Tara…Tara my love….what is it?  What’s happened?” 

Cordelia was more than puzzled now.  God help the woman if Buffy caught them - and what a naughty spy Mr Blond was cheating on his wife so soon!  Her mouth curved into a smile of anticipation; maybe 00666 wasn’t quite so off limits after all. 

The rear door opened again and in stepped Buffy.  ‘Oh this was getting really interesting.  Cordelia shifted to get a better view, grinning expectantly.  This was priceless! 

The grin faded as Buffy fell to her knees on the other side of the woman – Tara – and wrapped her arms around her too.   The sobbing woman turned into her arms, Spike Blond sitting back on his heels as he tried to get a grip of his emotions.  He flung an icy glare at Cordelia. 

“What?  I reacted as set down.  She asked was this HQ; she didn’t show me any ID or anything.   I followed protocol!”  Cordelia was becoming pissed off with the treatment she was receiving from the Blonds.  So what if they were the golden couple, didn’t mean they could treat her like dirt.  She was beginning to wonder if she’d made a mistake saying she’d stay. 

Spike got to his feet and strolled over to the counter where the brunette was studiously avoiding looking at him and the two women on the floor. His soft voice spoke. 

“Hey, Miss Chase.  I’m sorry.  I didn’t mean to snap.” 

Without conscious thought she turned to look at him.  Bam.  Putty; right there and then she was putty in his hands.  His baby blues were full of remorse and fixed on her.  She swallowed, licked her suddenly dry lips. 

“It’s…no big, doesn’t matter.  I overreacted.” 

“No, you did exactly what you’re supposed to.  The Service should be proud of having you.  It’s just that she’s my sister and as you can see, she’s more than a little upset.” 

He followed his words with a lopsided smile and a tilt of his head.  Oh god…she couldn’t think, was staring at him with her mouth open.  Think, Cordelia, move mouth, make words. 

“No, really.  I’m sorry.”  She noticed Buffy glaring up at her from the floor.  “Erm, I think I need to go take care of some things out back.”  With a final fearful glance over her shoulder she made it through to the corridor, leaning against the door she’d closed behind her.  “Man is this going to be a job and a half!” 

Spike returned to where Buffy and Tara were still sitting on the floor.  Tara seemed to be calmer, leaning her head against Buffy’s shoulder as they spoke quietly.  He knelt down, taking his sister’s hand in his and kissing it. 

“Now, what’s the problem, my sweetness?  Did you really miss me so much that you had to cause a lockdown?”  He smiled tenderly at her. 

“Oh, William.  It’s just…..I’m sorry for causing so much trouble.  I didn’t know what else to do, and I tried ringing your cell phone and it wasn’t answered and then I rang the hotel and they said you’d left.  I’m sorry…” 

“Tara, what’s happened?  Why did you need to find me so urgently?” 

She took a deep breath, disturbing indeed for a vampire.  Eyes lowered and face screened by her long hair, her voice barely registered and Buffy strained to hear her. 

“Is…is W here?  I’m so worried, it just isn’t like her.  She’s never done this before.” 

“W?  Our W?  Why, Tara?  What do you know?”  Buffy’s voice was tense. 

“Know?  I don’t know anything.   She was supposed to meet me at the restaurant and she didn’t turn up…and I’ve tried ringing her.  I just need to know that she’s alright, William.  Please tell me she’s alright.” 

Spike was still puzzled but Buffy thought she knew what Tara was trying to say. 

“Tara…you and W… you’re more than friends, aren’t you?” 

Tara nodded, head bowed.  Buffy gestured at her husband to say something. 

“Hey, hey sweetheart!  Look at me.  I’m sorry, we didn’t know or we’d have got in touch with you right away.  I’m so stupid!  I should have realised, I mean with you coming to the wedding together…  Look Tara, there’s no point beating about the bush.  W’s been kidnapped.” 

Tara’s anguished cries echoed off the walls. 

CUT TO : the interior of an Aston Martin DB5, windows steamed up, a bare foot easily discernible on the windscreen.  The sound of a horn and a muffled “bloody hell!” then a giggle as the music is turned on.  Obvious sounds of kissing and skin on skin.  Barry White plays in the background – a gasp of horror.  “Oh sod it!  That’s really not helping the mood, Buffy!”  A female chuckle.  “Well, we did tell G we were going to do research…..” 

DOO.DOO.DOOOOOO; DOO.DOO.DOOOOOOO;DOO.DE.DOOOOOO

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