Seeing Red

*Kris plops down in her Comfy Chair, cracks open a Diet Coke, and drains half of it in one gulp.*

<hiccup>

Oh, wow...

Okay, gang... I'll admit it. I am *so* not spoiler-free that it isn't even funny. But my husband most definitely is... so keeping my big fat mouth shut about this eppy has just about been killing me - especially over the past week. It got to the point where I didn't check my e-mail all weekend... simply because I didn't want to spend it obsessing over what I would see tonight.

(Which, I must admit, sounded like a great idea at the time... until my ISP smacked my wrist for having too many e-mails on the server when I finally downloaded last night... )

Anyhow... this episode was everything that BTVS used to be for me... the pacing, the twists and turns, the character development... the curveballs out of nowhere... Whoa. And the fact that I was literally squirming in my seat at parts... that just shows you how much I was drawn into the story.

So... let's talk about the good and the bad, shall we?

Because this is a Spike-friendly list... let's start with the Bad. The Big Bad... who just hasn't seemed to be quite *as* Bad the last few months... the guy who seemed to be doing a pretty good impression of Angel's brooding in his first scene... Spike.

I felt so bad for him when Dawn was reading him the riot act in her own teenaged way... yes, I know he and Dawn have a relationship... and I think that she started out wanting to hear his side... But as soon as he threw the "Complicated" word at her, she reverted back to Protective!Sister mode... sometimes blood really is thickest. The sad thing is... I really don't think that Spike set out to hurt Buffy... but because Dawn has no idea of what transpired, she throws some truly nasty words at him on her way out the door.

Which leads us to our next scene with Spike... when he goes to talk to Buffy. I loved that he finally started acting like "he got his rocks back" when he was trying to talk to her... I thought it was kind of ironic that the scene started out with his observation that she was hurt, and his asking if she was okay, only to get a rude brush off from Buffy yet again. I was cheering when Spike reminded her that it's not Always-About-Buffy... good for him! But, unfortunately, it went downhill from there. Spike's spirit just seemed to be broken... the vampire who didn't want to let Angelus destroy the world now thinks that he would have been better off if he'd been staked by Xander? What the heck?

The parallels between what he tells Buffy about Love in this scene to what he's trying to tell Cecily about Love in "Fool For Love" were just incredible... we've always known that Spike/William is indeed "Love's Bitch," and he proves it again here. He truly believes that Love is a Raging Fire... rather ironic, seeing as how Buffy was singing in OMWF that she "... want(s) the fire back." In this case, the fire went out of control.... and I'm not going to get into whether or not Spike was right or wrong, or whether Buffy was asking for it, or who's to blame. As my husband so succinctly put it: "Spike's a vampire. He's still evil." In other words: Spike doesn't follow the same moral compass that the rest of humanity does... because he simply doesn't have one to follow. How can you completely blame someone for not using something he doesn't have?

(I should note: this does *not* mean that I liked what he did, nor did I enjoy the scene. Remember the squirming? This was where most of it occurred.)

This brings up an interesting point, though, that the writers address very eloquently in Spike's scene with Clem. All of the banter we've seen on the boards this year came to life in this scene. Spike honestly feels like he can't be a monster, thanks to the chip (in his opinion)... but that he also can't be a man - as he's been constantly reminded by the Scoobies. And, unfortunately, as we all know, when Spike gets so confused that he can't handle things any more, he desperately wants to revert back to his pre-chip state, where everything was so *easy*, because (as he says tonight), it was all black and white. "Slayer... Vampire."

So... we see him leaving at the end of the show... with a rather ambiguous "warning" for Buffy. The thing is... I guess I didn't see it as being as menacing as it perhaps was intended to be (or was it?). We all know how Spike's grand plans end up... usually about 180 degrees from where he originally intended. The sad thing is that he has so much potential right now to grow as a person and help the Scoobies... but they, as a unit, keep putting him "in his place" by reminding him that he's an "Evil, Soulless, Thing." People live up or down to your expectations... and Spike is no different. Why should he feel motivated to keep working so hard to go against his very nature when all he gets is abuse for his trouble?

I'll be interested to see where he heads... something tells me that there are big things in store for Spike. In "Fool For Love," big changes came for William right after his put-down from Cecily... now we have another time, same person... and Love has burned him once again... I have a feeling that big changes lay down that road Spike rode down tonight.

As for the rest of the episode:

Good: Tara and Willow getting back together. Big yay. And an even bigger yay to Dawn's excited reaction over the whole thing... it was good to see her actually get excited for once.

Bad: Duh. Tara getting shot (not to mention Buffy): *way* bad. That was beyond sucky... and I can't help but wonder what's going to happen there. Was it just me, or did Buffy and Tara get shot in almost exactly the same spot? Does that mean something?

Good: Xander finally admitting to Buffy that he felt bad about acting like an ass about Buffy and Spike's relationship coming to light, and knowing that it's why she didn't come to him.

Bad: Xander acting like a complete ass when Buffy came to him to talk about Spike.

Good: Anya's picking up the pieces and trying to move on with her life.

Bad: Come on, Anya! For a vengeance demon, you sure missed your opportunity to wreak a little havoc...

Good: Jonathan helping Buffy defeat Warren.

Bad: Warren. He's beyond Bad. He is truly Evil... and he scares me. Take street-smarts, a bit of intelligence, and a healthy dose of megalomania... and we have Warren. And did I mention the utter lack of conscience?

Here's the funny thing... all of the Scoobies (with the exception of Tara) are so focused on Spike being the "bad guy" this week that they totally underestimated Warren and what he could do. And Warren seems to be much more evil, and much more of a threat, than Spike (even in the bathroom scene). We all know that Warren's got it coming for him - Joss!Karma tells us that if nothing else - but he's scary all the same.

This episode was extremely painful to watch... but it was just riveting. There were so many little details that just made it so good... Spike's leaving his coat at Buffy's house (what does that signify? Anything)? The way that almost every character had a pithy comment to make to someone else just before slamming a door on their way out (Xander snapping at Buffy, Dawn snapping at Spike, Warren snapping at Jonathan before throwing him through the demon door)... the fact that Buffy *did* finally level with Xander and tell him that she didn't come to him because she knew that he *didn't* want to hear what she was really feeling... the fact that Willow was at least a little embarrassed of her reaction to finding out that Buffy and Spike really were sleeping together... it was wonderful.

This show answered a lot of the questions we've been asking this season, and it raised just as many more. Why has the group splintered so much (Buffy says that they've taken the "scenic route" to get to where they are)? Why can't they just live happily ever after in their world of black and white (the "Oh, Just Grow Up!" theme)? We also now know that Buffy is still hurting from being ripped away from what she believes to be heaven... is that going to be key in future eps? What will happen with Spike? What will happen with Willow? I find it rather ironic that an all-consuming love is driving these two characters to another level in their lives... are they heading in the same Eeeeee-vil direction, or are they going to be going down separate paths?

As I said, my hubby is a spoiler free kinda guy, and I asked him what he thought, and he said: "It was a good ep. A weird twist at the end, but a good ep."

Final thoughts: I loved that all of the characters got time on screen this week... and that they all contributed to the story. I loved that Buffy threw Xander's working with Spike all summer in Xander's face, even though he got all pompous and self-righteous in return.

Everyone truly has hit rock bottom... and in the words of OMWF: Where do we go from here?

Buckle up kiddies. Daddy Joss is driving.

Seeing Pink through my Rose-Colored glasses....

Hugs to all,

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Kris