|
|
| Buffy Gallery | Angel Gallery | Buffy Multimedia | Angel Multimedia | News - REVAMPED |
| Sunnydale Town: Popular community forums. |
Transcriber's Notes:
|
Written by: Drew Z. Greenberg Directed by: James A. Contner Teaser EXT. SUNNYDALE CEMETERY - NIGHT ON TWO PAIRS OF FEET. Running. We sense panic, and we're right. But as we pan up, we see the feet belong to TWO VAMPS. Two really scared vamps. Behind them, three ATVs tear through the cemetery. Gaining. The vamps are the prey, and the hunters aboard the ATVS: JONATHAN, WARREN and ANDREW. And the guys are serious. The ATVs are tricked out with long, pointy wooden stakes on the front. They actually are pretty menacing. ANDREW They're getting to the gate! WARREN I see it, I see it. We see that the first vamp clutches in his hand a small, clear disk (as in round, not computer). The second vamp grabs a low-hanging branch from a tree, breaks it off, and tosses it behind him. It knocks Andrew off his ATV, right in Warren's path. Warren swerves, bounces off a tombstone and CRASHES into Jonathan. All three nerds sit up on the ground, dazed. ANDREW We're gonna lose them. JONATHAN We need that disk. Warren watches as the vamps make a break for the cemetery gate. His eyes narrow... he sees something. WARREN Wait. As the vamps round the gate, free at least, ready to roam wild in the big, bloody world, their relief is cut short. BUFFY jumps in from the street. She TACKLES the vamps. The disk goes skittering on the ground. As Buffy faces off against the vamps, Warren watches, his face lighting up. He quietly moves forward, scoops up the disk and turns back to the other guys. He motions for them to go. Buffy has the First Vamp around the neck, trying to get a good position to stake him. The Second Vamp picks himself up off the street, CHARGES Buffy.... And gets SCOOPED into the air. SPIKE stands atop the stone pillar of the cemetery gate, high above the ground, effortlessly dangling the Second Vamp mid-air by an arm. The vamp STRUGGLES to get free of Spike's grip. Distracted, Buffy loses her grip on the First Vamp. He pushes her back, spins around and knocks her to the ground. SPIKE How you doin'? BUFFY (struggling) Fine. You know... Same old same old. SPIKE (re: the dangling vamp) Here, I could take care of this guy if you want. Buffy kicks the First Vamp off, sends him reeling. BUFFY Whatever. Your call. SPIKE I mean, sure he don't look like much... SECOND VAMP (insulted) Hey hey! SPIKE ... but I'd wager he could give you a bit o'nasty. I'll save you the staking. All you gotta do is-- As Buffy rushes the First Vamp: BUFFY I'm not telling my friends about us. SPIKE Right. Well, I'll just be dropping him down to you then? Buffy tackles the First Vamp to the ground, gaining the upper hand. As she fights: BUFFY You tell them if you want. Go ahead. Rock the boat. Rock and roll it the hell over. My friends and I'll still be groovin' with the movin'. She STAKES the First Vamp. BUFFY (cont'd) Know why? I tried to kill my friends, my sister, last week and guess how much they hate me now? Zero. Zero much. She gets up, walks over to Spike and the dangling Second Vamp. BUFFY (cont'd) So I'm thinking, sleeping with you... She walks away. On her back... BUFFY (cont'd) They'll deal. Spike watches her go then drops the Second Vamp. The vamp reacts with surprise at being free, then takes off running at Buffy's retreating back, fangs bared. SPIKE (calling after her) In that case, why won't you sleep with me again? The Second Vamp can't help looking back at Spike at that. Buffy turns around, calmly STAKES the Second Vamp. She keeps walking away as he dusts, and says: BUFFY Because I don't love you. On Spike. After a moment: SPIKE (to himself) Like Hell. INT. XANDER'S APARTMENT - NIGHT The place feels big. Empty. A little unlived-in. XANDER sits on the floor, lost in the loneliness of the place, listening to lonely music on the stereo. Beer in one hand. Lost. We move in, see he's in a great deal of pain. Missing Anya. Finally, after a moment, he uses the remote to shut off the music. It stops abruptly, leaving us with uncomfortable, telling silence. Another beat. Xander stands up, sets down his beer, and walks to the door. He leaves... EXT. XANDER'S APARTMENT - NIGHT ... and heads off into the night. Still with the lonely. Across the street, a woman stands in the shadows, watching him go. When he's safely away, she steps into the light. ANYA. Human-looking. Conflicted. She wants to go after him. Instead, she just watches him leave. BLACK OUT. END OF TEASER Act One INT. UC SUNNYDALE CAMPUS - DAY As students stream out of class, we see WILLOW books in hand, leaning up against the wall of the building. Kinda forced casual. TARA comes out of class. Willow sees her, brightens, walks to her. TARA Hey! WILLOW Look at you. All coming-out-of-class and everything. TARA (smiling) I do that sometimes. Usually at the end part of the class. WILLOW Right. They walk together. Slowly. Not rushing anywhere. TARA (pointing awkwardly at Willow's neck) How's your... you know, after the basement deal? Willow swivels her head, testing her neck. WILLOW It's between a hitch and a kink. With a side of twinge. It's okay. TARA And Buffy's okay too? Enjoying the refreshing sanity and so forth? WILLOW (overdoing) Ha! Yes! Refreshing san-- that's funny! (compensating soberly) She's okay. A little... freaked. I'm glad she didn't hurt you. TARA You too. A beat of silence, then: TARA (cont'd) So, this is becoming kind of a regular thing. You and me after class. WILLOW Uh, I didn't... TARA Only this time you stuck around. WILLOW Oh, um... various sounds of hesitation... TARA She was just a friend. Willow's caught a little off guard. But relieved. WILLOW Friends are nice! TARA You rushed off before I could, you know, explain. WILLOW Officially, of course, I have to say that I have no idea what you're talking about. TARA Unofficially? Willow just grins a big grin. They walk in silence for a moment. Willow, still nervous takes a deep breath, then: WILLOW We should get coffee some time. Maybe some day this week after class. TARA I'm free tomorrow. WILLOW You could, you could bring your friend. Tara's actually a little thrown by this. TARA I wasn't gonna -- I mean, if you have a friend -- WILLOW No! I'm, oh, I'm friendless. TARA Yeah, yeah. No friends -- I mean, I have friends.... WILLOW Many dear friends, yeah. But -- TARA Coffee. WILLOW With us. Who are... just friends. EXT. SUNNYDALE MALL - DAY Buffy and DAWN walk among the stores. BUFFY Okay... can we go in that one? DAWN (no) Three pairs of earrings, a change purse and a toothbrush. BUFFY You stole a toothbrush? DAWN Mother of pearl handle. Very fancy. BUFFY Yeah, but you stole a toothbrush. As rebellious teenagers go, you're kinda square. DAWN Dental hygiene is important. A beat. BUFFY I guess this was a kinda lame idea for a sisters-day-out. I make up for trying to kill you by taking you places you can't go in. DAWN No, it's my bad. I'm the one that got busted for taking stuff. Buffy notices a store out of frame. BUFFY Hey, you didn't steal anything from the pet store, did you? DAWN Pocketful of goldfish. Didn't work out. (then) No. BUFFY Good, then we can go look at the puppies. DAWN Ach. It's so awful, the puppy mills, and keeping them in those cages, people poking at them all day. BUFFY Yeah, but... puppies. You used to think they were cute. Dawn opens her mouth to speak, wanting to protest, then she looks at Buffy, stops herself. Instead: DAWN Well. yeah, I did in my fives and sixes... We could go look. (beat) 'Sides, I don't think there are any other stores left where I can show my face. BUFFY It'll pass. You've returned all the stuff you still had. We're paying for the rest. DAWN I'm paying for the rest. BUFFY We'll figure it out. And, you know, maybe in a couple months they'll let us visit the leather birthday jacket. A YOUNG MOTHER pushing a BABY STROLLER calmly cuts across, about to bump into Dawn, who is looking at a store. Buffy takes Dawn's arm to steer her out of the way. Dawn JUMPS, ever so slightly at Buffy's touch, startled. They both stop, looking at each other, embarrassed, realizing what just happened. BUFFY (cont'd) Oh. That wasn't-- I was just-- Sorry. DAWN No, no. I'm sorry. They walk for a moment in silence. The mood has changed, become strained. BUFFY I would never -- DAWN I know. You weren't you. They walk for another moment. More silence. Then Buffy forces herself to snap out of it, tries to lighten the mood: BUFFY Okay, you know what we need? DAWN What? BUFFY (re: food court ahead) Warm chocolate chip cookies. Just as warm as puppies, and somewhat tastier. Dawn gives a wan smile as they go. It's not really what she needs. But Buffy is trying... INT. TRIO'S LAIR - DAY Jonathan at a bubbling chemistry set. The disk from the vamps sits on the table, too -- we see now that it has fine, intricate etchings on its surface, creating a pattern of interconnecting lines and shapes. Warren stands over him. JONATHAN Get back. You don't want to make me rush this. WARREN Not impressed, Padawan. When do we hit paydirt? JONATHAN I do this wrong, it's gonna surge and we'll be deader than an ex-girlfriend. WARREN What did you say? JONATHAN Just let me work. He turns back to the chemistry set. Warren stares for a beat, then continues with the false calm: WARREN All right, do what you need to do. You get us to the goods, then watch out. It's gonna be like the whole world just spread open and gave it up for you, man. Jonathan winces at the image, then looks up, right at Warren. Almost challenging. JONATHAN And then we're done, right? We each take our share and we call it a day? Andrew enters, listens quietly. WARREN You that ready to get rid of us, huh? Jonathan doesn't answer. Clearly uncomfortable. WARREN (cont'd) Don't worry. we pull this off, you can buy any tropical island you want. (smiling) Cheer up, Short Round. You're about to get us everything we ever wanted. Jonathan nods tentatively, turns back to the chemistry set. Warren steps away to join Andrew, out of earshot. WARREN (cont'd) He's almost done. ANDREW I sorta feel kinda sorry for him. WARREN That's a weakness. ANDREW Um... okay. They look over at a clearly-stressed Jonathan, working away. WARREN Look at him! ANDREW He's got that same look on his face, the one he had that time I highlighted in his Babylon 5 novels. Andrew looks back at Warren, paranoid worry etched on his face. ANDREW (cont'd) (realizing) Right before he told his mother on me! Warren! I don't think we can trust him. WARREN We don't need to. Not for much longer. ANDREW It's gonna be that soon? WARREN The milk in the fridge? How long 'til it expires? ANDREW Well, we got it on Friday. I remember noticing that there wasn't a full two weeks on it, but we did get it into the fridge pretty quick, unless I'm thinking of the two- percent... WARREN Forget it. It was a thing. It's gonna be soon. ANDREW Oh. Wow. INT. XANDER'S APARTMENT - NIGHT Xander walks in the door and finds Anya waiting for him. XANDER Oh my God. Anya stares back at him, tense, nervous... Xander instinctively moves to embrace her, but stopping just short, almost afraid to touch her. Awkward. XANDER (cont'd) How are you? ANYA Um, ducky. You? XANDER (pleading) Ahn. Please. Let me -- She steps back, not giving any quarter. XANDER (cont'd) -- explain. She waits, cautious, impatient... and maybe a bit hopeful. XANDER (cont'd) I know that there's nothing I can do or say to make up for what I did. I can't -- sometimes I wake up in the morning, and I'm like, oh God, is this my life? Was that me? ANYA (quiet) Me too. XANDER But you have to believe me, please, that I want to make up for it, I want to take away the hurt, I love you. So much. She softens a little, and he sees it. XANDER (cont'd) I may have practiced that in the mirror. A couple times. ANYA I just don't understand what happened. XANDER I do. I'm an idiot. Anya gingerly steps toward him, then: XANDER (cont'd) All I had to do was say something earlier. I could have spared you that... that nightmare. She stops. Looks at him. ANYA Say something... about what? Xander looks like he just stepped in quicksand. XANDER No, no, I mean, you know, if I had been more, like, self-aware. She pulls back again. XANDER (cont'd) 'Cause, with the being an idiot thing. ANYA If you had been more self-aware, you would have, what? been able to stop the wedding? XANDER I don't mean it like that, it's more like... She folds her arms. XANDER (cont'd) Okay, I didn't practice this part. ANYA Do you still want to get married? Xander hesitates, just long enough for Anya to notice. ANYA (cont'd) Oh. XANDER Ahn, it's a very complicated question. ANYA Actually, it's really not. Kind of an either-or deal. Do you want to get married? XANDER Someday, yes, very much. Anya makes a tiny sound, like all the air's been kicked out of her. XANDER (cont'd) When we're ready. She's clearly wounded. XANDER (cont'd) I don't want you to take that as a bad thing, it's good, I love you, I love you so much, I'm just trying to be honest with you -- ANYA Yes, honesty now. Congratulations, Xander, for being honest now, I wonder what the medal will say. XANDER Okay, clearly I'm not handling this well. ANYA (angry) Well, duh. She turns from him, furious, trying to hide her rage. XANDER All I want is for us to be together. I love you. I just wish we could go back to the way things were before. We pull around to see Anya, still facing away from Xander, has gone DEMON-FACED, furious, seething. ANYA (demon voice) And I wish you were never born! BLACK OUT. OMITTED. END OF ACT ONE Act Two INT. XANDER'S APARTMENT- NIGHT On Anya, still in demon face. Satisfied. Then: XANDER I know this is all coming out wrong. We see Xander still stands behind Anya. She whips around, HUMAN-FACED again. Disbelieving. ANYA I -- I wish you felt the pain of a thousand searing pokers boiling your heart in its own juices! Xander looks at Anya sympathetically. ANYA (cont'd) Or, your pancreas! XANDER I know, honey. I totally deserve that. Anya glares, throwing her back into it. ANYA I wish you lived in a state of constant panic! I wish you had tentacles where your beady eyes should be! I wish your intestines were twisted into knots and ripped apart inside your lousy gut! XANDER (pained) They are. ANYA (brightening) Really? Right now? Anya's suddenly unsure of what she's done, concern creeping into her voice despite her anger. ANYA (cont'd) Does it hurt? XANDER God, yes. It hurts so bad it's killing me. Anya, I love you. I want to make this work. ANYA (getting it) Those are metaphor intestines! You're not in real pain! (to herself) What's wrong with me? XANDER It's not you, honey. It's me. I'm the one that -- ANYA (frustrated) Gaggghh!! She storms out. XANDER Ahn, wait. Please... He goes to the door, leans out. XANDER (cont'd) Ahn? The hallway is empty. She's gone. INT. COFFEE SHOP - MORNING HALFREK and Anya, both in HUMAN FACE, sit in an almost-empty coffee shop, each with a large mug of foamy espresso. HALFREK ...no child support in, like, eleven years, not a single check, so now, every time he picks up a piece of paper that isn't a check for the child? Paper cut. Anya zones, staring into her cup of coffee. HALFREK (cont'd) I mean, you know how I hate to toot my own horn, but... Anya still not there. Halfrek begins to notice. HALFREK (cont'd) He's just covered in all these tiny little bandages. Like a quilt. Made of bandages. Anya looks up. ANYA Hmmmm? HALFREK Okay, did they not have listening skills in Human World? ANYA I'm sorry. I know. I'm just distracted. HALFREK What, this thing with Xander? Don't worry, you'll find a way -- ANYA No, that's just it, I tried everything, every curse I knew, nothing worked. HALFREK Wait. You tried to curse him yourself? ANYA Well, yeah. I'm the wronged party here, of course I -- HALFREK You can't exact justice against someone on behalf of yourself, silly! How long have you been away? ANYA I haven't been scorned by a man in, like, a thousand years. I never had to make a wish for myself. Isn't there some way around that? HALFREK Well... You could try getting someone to make the wish for you. I suppose. Anya considers the idea. A mirthless smile tugs at her lips. Oh yes -- that'll do. EXT. BUFFY'S HOUSE - FRONT YARD - MORNING Establishing shot. We see the LAWN GNOME in front of the house... INT. BUFFY'S HOUSE - KITCHEN - DAY Dawn enters to find Buffy preparing plates of breakfast: eggs, pancakes, toast. Three kinds of cereal. DAWN Uh, gosh. Did we open a chain? Are we the International House of something? BUFFY Got up early, seemed like a breakfast kind of morning, what kind of syrup you want on your pancakes? DAWN (suspicious) Syrup comes in kinds? BUFFY You know, I was thinking, after the mall yesterday, maybe staying in tonight might be kinda cool, so whaddya think of, like, a big video and pizza night? DAWN Um... BUFFY Oh, and do you have plans this weekend? 'Cause I was thinking maybe we could try to get to -- DAWN Hey, I'm gonna be okay with the basement thing. Really. BUFFY This isn't guilt. I want us to spend time. DAWN Okay. Good. I like spending time -- BUFFY But I'm cramping your teenage style. DAWN No -- BUFFY I am. I'm the embarrassing mom who tries too hard. When did this happen? DAWN No, you're not, it's not that, it's, see, instead of you hanging out with me, maybe... maybe I could hang out with you. Buffy doesn't get it. Dawn takes a deep breath, then: DAWN (cont'd) Why don't I come patrol with you tonight? Buffy is quiet for a moment. Then: BUFFY Uh huh. And then maybe we'll invite over some strangers and ask them to feed you candy. DAWN You guys all went out patrolling every night when you were my age. BUFFY Yes, well, technically, you're one- and-a-half. Dawn is so not amused. BUFFY (cont'd) See, I thought a little levity might, okay, but also no. DAWN I just... I just think I could help. BUFFY I'm sure you could. But it's more dangerous than I had in mind. DAWN But -- BUFFY Dawn. I'm trying so hard to keep you away from that stuff. I don't want you to be around dangerous things that can kill you. DAWN Which would be a perfectly reasonable argument if my sister was chosen to protect the world from tax audits. But my sister is, see, you, and dangerous things that can kill me seem to find me. BUFFY But you don't have to go looking for them. (a beat) Eat up. You'll be late for school. Buffy turns back to the stove. Dawn sits, resigned, not wanting to push Buffy any further. INT. ESPRESSO PUMP - DAY Tara and Willow sit across a table from each other with coffee and scones. Comfortable, happy. TARA Okay, wait, it was under her wig? WILLOW It was this thing, and it came out from inside her head. TARA That's disgusting. What did it look like? WILLOW Well... let's put it this way. If I wasn't gay before... TARA Gah. And this was after the invisible ray? WILLOW Yes. TARA Okay, I go away for a couple of months... WILLOW Oh, did I tell you about the demon eggs? TARA See, now I know you're just trying to make me jealous. WILLOW So, what, no rollicking adventures in the dorms? TARA It's not the same. It's not like living in a house full of family or sharing a room with someone you... you know... WILLOW Are friends with? ANYA Hey. Tara and Willow stop, the mood broken. Willow gives Anya a hug. WILLOW Oh my god. You're back. TARA We've been so worried. ANYA Sorry. I just needed to... I couldn't stay here. Not after that. TARA No! No, we totally understand. WILLOW But you're back now. Right? ANYA It's... complicated. They sit at the table. ANYA (cont'd) There's a lot to deal with. WILLOW If there's anything we can do, just let us -- ANYA Actually, there is an eensy something I could use a little help with. You're lesbians, so the hating of men will come in handy. Willow opens her mouth to refute that, but Anya keeps going. ANYA (cont'd) (brightly) Let's talk about Xander. CUT TO: INT. MAGIC BOX - DAY Anya's talking to Dawn. DAWN He feels awful. ANYA You think it's anywhere close to what I feel? DAWN No, but -- ANYA What if it were you, Dawn? What if all you dreamed about was that magical day? The day when the one person you loved with all your soul would promise to cherish and protect your heart for the rest of his life? But instead he shatters it into a million jagged pieces. Bet you'd wish he'd feel more than just a weensy awful, wouldn't you? CUT TO: EXT. BUFFY'S HOUSE - FRONT PORCH - DAY Anya's sitting on the front railing, talking with Buffy. BUFFY I don't think he could feel any worse. ANYA Let's test that theory. BUFFY Anya, Xander's my friend. I know what he did was wrong and if it had happened to me I'd -- ANYA (hopefully) -- wish his penis would explode? CUT TO: INT. ESPRESSO PUMP - DAY Back with Tara and Willow. TARA It's not really so much about hating the men. WILLOW We're more centered around the girl on girl action. ANYA And men really like to watch that kind of stuff, don't they? Men like Xander. TARA Well, I -- ANYA Don't you wish his eyes would explode? CUT TO: INT. MAGIC BOX - DAY With Dawn: DAWN I never use that word anymore. ANYA Coagulate? DAWN W-i-s-h. ANYA Oh, wish? As in I wish Xander -- DAWN Right! That word. There's vengeance demons out there that are still active, remember. Any 'I wish' could totally end in horrible grossness. ANYA Gimme a fer-instance. EXT. BUFFY'S HOUSE - FRONT PORCH - DAY With Buffy: BUFFY I don't really think I should -- ANYA Did I mention the whole "left at the altar" thing? Didn't leave that out, did I? BUFFY No, I know what he did was wrong. God. I can't imagine -- It must have been torture. ANYA Okay! Let's talk about torture! INT. MAGIC BOX - DAY With Dawn: ANYA Tell me more about wishing Xander's guts and brains would go blooey. DAWN I didn't say that. ANYA Yes you did. DAWN No I didn't. ANYA I heard you. DAWN I swear, I didn't say that. ANYA Didn't say what? Dawn stares blankly at Anya. DAWN Um, I just saw you were back and wanted to talk about working off my debt. You know, my whole Sticky- Fingers-Grabby-Hands-thing? ANYA Oh! Right, the mad thieving. Good, yes, there 's much to do. (mock stern) I'm gonna put you to work, missy! She laughs, a bit forced, then: ANYA (cont'd) So, back to Xander's brain and guts... EXT. BUFFY'S HOUSE - FRONT PORCH - DAY ANYA Squish squish squish! Guys have been running roughshod over you for years. Torturing that perky little ticker. Aren't you sick of it? Don't you wish guys like that -- BUFFY Whoa, what guys? There have only been four -- three! Only three guys! That's barely plural. ANYA And didn't each of them rip your heart out? Don't men like that, as to pick an example, Xander, deserve to be punished? OMITTED INT. ESPRESSO PUMP - DAY Anya's had just about all she can take. WILLOW Well, Xander is a man, so it's kinda not the surprise that he likes to watch... Girls... Why are we talking about this? ANYA (urgently) We're comforting me. TARA Well, I guess it's natural for guys to be interested in -- ANYA God! What kind of lesbian are you?! If you love men so much, go love men! She shoots up out of her chair. EXT. BUFFY'S HOUSE - FRONT PORCH - DAY Anya has sprung off her seat on the railing, agitated. BUFFY Anya, I know you're hurting, but -- ANYA What? Xander doesn't deserve to suffer for what he did because he's your friend? And I'm not. Right. I get it. BUFFY No, that's not what I'm saying. What he did was wrong. He knows that. Anya's anger gives way to obvious pain. ANYA It just -- it hurts. He hurt me so much. Buffy puts a comforting hand on her arm. BUFFY I know. He really did. I wish... Anya tenses. This is it. XANDER (O.S.) Anya? Xander is coming up the walk. Anya glares at him, her hurt replaced with seething anger. ANYA Congratulations. They all still love you. Even after what you did to me. She storms off down the street. XANDER Anya, wait... He moves to go after her, but Buffy catches his arm. BUFFY Okay. Not crazy about that idea. XANDER What are you doing? I have to go after her. BUFFY Or, in the Land of the Sane, you could give her some space and let her cool down. Xander paces the lawn, frustrated. XANDER That's not Proactive Guy. That's Sit- Around-And-Wait-For-The-Rest-of-His- Life-To-Turn-To-Crap Guy. BUFFY True, but Crap Guy gets to keep all his appendages. XANDER So I'm just supposed to what? Walk away? (hating himself) That shouldn't be too hard. It's what I'm good at, isn't it? Xander lashes out, kicking the lawn gnome in frustration. BUFFY Okay, see, this is why a heart to heart isn't your best course of action here. You're both upset and angry and what the hell is that creepy little thing doing in my yard? Did Willow put that there when I was dead? 'Cause if I had known, I would have crawled out of the grave sooner to kick her -- Xander's kneeling in front of the cracked gnome head. XANDER Buffy. Xander pulls a whirring CAMERA out of the gnome head. BUFFY Oh my God. XANDER (re: the front door) Looks like someone's been keeping an eye on all your ins and outs. BUFFY What the -- who -- XANDER Okay, well, let's see. Who's obsessed with Buffy? Who likes to hang out here in the yard and keep an eye on her? Who's the guy in love with you but not getting any? INT. SPIKE'S CRYPT - NIGHT SPIKE What's this? We see that Spike holds the camera in his hand. Buffy is there, too. BUFFY It's a camera. SPIKE Yeah, I got that part. Why am I holding it? BUFFY Someone was using it to spy on me. On the house. Xander thinks it might've been you. SPIKE (pissed) Oh, the great Xander thinks so! Shudder gasp! It must be true! BUFFY Spike -- SPIKE That ponce has always had it for me. Every chance he gets, he sticks it -- He catches the uncertain look on her face, stops. SPIKE (cont'd) You believe him, don't you? You think I was spying on you. Buffy doesn't respond. SPIKE (cont'd) You think I could do that. BUFFY Yeah, righteous indignation is absolutely the way to go here, 'cause you don't kill or lie or steal or manipulate -- Spike carefully hands the camera back to Buffy. SPIKE (quiet) I don't hurt you. Buffy looks down at the camera. BUFFY I know. SPIKE No, you don't. I've tried to make it clear to you, but you won't see it. Something happened to me. The way I feel... about you... It's different. No matter how hard you try to convince yourself it isn't. It's real. BUFFY (gently) I think it is. (a beat) For you. Spike stares at her, her implication a stake in his chest. BUFFY (cont'd) I know that's not what you want to hear. And I'm sorry. I really am. You just... have to move on. You have to -- Spike just looks at her, seething, desperate. Then: SPIKE (softly) Get out. Buffy hesitates for a moment, wanting to say something, but Spike turns away. Done. She leaves. INT. MAGIC BOX - NIGHT Anya and Halfrek, in human face. Anya's behind the counter ANYA No, they're all, oh, poor Xander, it took so much out of him, all that running away he did. I just don't understand what's wrong with these people. HALFREK Did you really think they were the ones to help you? ANYA But -- HALFREK Do you want retribution, Anyanka? ANYA I want Xander good and cursed. HALFREK Then you know what you have to do. ANYA Get a wish from someone who doesn't freaking love him. HALFREK Exactly. ANYA Yeah, but my social circle is a little limited here, what am I supposed to do, just stumble upon someone who doesn't give a fig's ass if Xander gets hurt? The bell over the door RINGS, the door swings open. Spike enters. SPIKE Hey. I need a thing. Anya takes him in, her eyes dancing. Just what the curse ordered... BLACK OUT. END OF ACT TWO Act Three INT. MAGIC BOX - NIGHT Halfrek and Anya just stare at Spike. ANYA So... what's your pleasure? SPIKE Fresh of out of pleasure. That's why I'm here. I need something. Numbing spell, maybe? ANYA Uh huh. Hang on. She pulls Halfrek aside. ANYA (cont'd) Oh my God, he hates Xander. Maybe I could get him to wish -- (catching herself) Dammit, if only he were a woman. (light bulb!) Okay, got it! If I can somehow get someone to wish that Spike were a woman, then I go to him, well, he'd be a her by then, go to her and get her to -- HALFREK Anyanka. There's an easier way. I know you've got this whole Female Power, Take Back the Night thing, and I think that's cute, but I've been telling you for decades men need a little vengeance now and then, too. ANYA Oh. HALFREK Maybe this is your chance to try it out. She starts heading to the door. HALFREK (cont'd) So, you know. Good luck. With that whole... thing. She waves and exits, leaving them alone. SPIKE Sorry to bust up the little girls' night out. ANYA No problem. I'm ready to do business. SPIKE Right then. Got something that'll dull the ache a bit? Anya smiles. ANYA Actually, yes. Giles left a couple of supplies here, and I think I know just the thing to help. She crouches, looking for something behind the counter. ANYA (cont'd) Eases the hurt, Makes the sun shine a little brighter, even makes boring people seem more interesting. Ah. here. She stands and SLAMS a bottle of Jack Daniels on the counter. Spike smiles. INT. BUFFY'S HOUSE - DINING ROOM - NIGHT Willow sits at one end of the table, her laptop hooked up to the camera. As she examines the screen, we see Buffy and Xander at the other end of the table. BUFFY (re: the screen) How's it coming? Can you see who's getting the camera's signal? WILLOW Should have something once I get tapped into the fiber-optic network. We're gonna use the feedback relay to get their signal routed into our system. XANDER If it's not Spike, and I'm not saying I believe him, but if it's not Spike, I think we already know who's behind this. BUFFY Yeah. But it's not the who I want. It's the where. WILLOW (as she types) Can't help thinking maybe you were closer than you thought that day you went out with the addresses. BUFFY And they sent the Psycho Demon to interrupt me. WILLOW Makes sense. A beat. BUFFY I want. To find. These guys. INT. TRIO'S LAIR - NIGHT Andrew and Warren stand over a nervous Jonathan. On a table in front of him, he places the disc atop a six-inch wooden pole, holds the pole in front of a hastily drawn Sunnyvale map. Behind the disc. Jonathan lights a tall candle. Light shines through the disc, the pattern creating an array of light... Jonathan sprinkles powder on the disc. JONATHAN Uncover. A hazy, purple mist forms off the disc, swirling around, refracting the light -- a small beam shoots out, hitting the map squarely in a single point. JONATHAN (cont'd) There. That's it. That's where we have to go. Warren and Andrew exchange a secret, conspiratorial glance. WARREN Well, now that we've -- The map BURSTS into flames. JONATHAN Yah! INT. MAGIC BOX - NIGHT Anya and Spike are about halfway through the bottle of Jack. Anya has an empty shot glass in front of her. Spike lifts his glass, takes a SWIG. He's in the middle of an angry rant. SPIKE ...and then this girl says "real for you-" ANYA (impatient) Right, but getting back to Xander- SPIKE Xander. Let's not waste any more breath on that wanker- ANYA It's just, he made a fool of me, and nobody seems to care enough to do anything. SPIKE I care. What he did to you, I've never stooped that low, and I'm an "evil, souless thing" according to some people- ANYA But shouldn't he pay? Don't you wish he had to pay in some horrible way? SPIKE Absolutely. (re: chip) Take him on myself if it wasn't for my little handicap. ANYA (hopeful) Right. So - hypothetically - what do you wish you could do to him? Spike considers. Pours himself another shot, pours one for Anya. Then- SPIKE You name it, pet. You're the wronged party. Something gruesome, how 'bout? Anya sighs. Downs her shot. INT. TRIO'S LAIR - NIGHT The guys frantically try to put out the fire: Jonathan runs for a fire extinguisher, Andrew tries to stomp it out (but succeeds only in burning his foot). Warren grabs a blanket from the couch and smothers the flames. JONATHAN (looking over) Hey! That's my blanket! WARREN Well, makes sense, it was your fire. JONATHAN But -- We see a SINGLE RED LIGHT start BLINKING on the bank of monitors. The guys don't notice it. INT. BUFFY'S HOUSE - DINING ROOM - NIGHT A BEEP from the laptop -- Willow whips around to look. WILLOW Hey. Hey, I think I got something! INT. MAGIC BOX - NIGHT Spike and Anya are feeling the liquor a little more now. Relaxed with each other. Anya's on rant now. ANYA ...thing about it is, none of this was my idea. I didn't ask to be human- SPIKE Right! An' I didn't ask for this bloody chip in my head- ANYA To tell the truth, all I wanted was to use him and lose him. I hadn't had a good tumble in a thousand years- SPIKE Me too. The using part. I just wanted to know what I was missing, move on. Anya grows more pained and melancholy. Spike follows suit. ANYA Then he was all bumpy in the right places and nice to me... SPIKE She was so raw. Never felt anything like it... ANYA Next thing I know, I'm changing to please him. I care if he cares. SPIKE Right. ANYA I'm off my guard. Happy. I'm singing in the shower and doing my sexy dance- SPIKE Exact- (catches himself) I have no dance. INT. BUFFY'S HOUSE - DINING ROOM - NIGHT Buffy and Xander, still at the other end of the table, watch as Willow taps away at the keyboard. BUFFY Talk to me, Will. WILLOW Technology's pretty sophisticated, lots of booby traps and firewall stuff... XANDER Nerds. WILLOW (as she types) Oh, yeah. But, you know, who is the bigger nerd, the nerd, or the nerd who breaks through his defense system? (not looking up) Okay, no one answer that, please. BUFFY But can you get us a location? WILLOW (of course I can) Hey. I'm still me. Just one -- whoa. BUFFY What? What? Willow stops typing, looks up at the others. WILLOW There are other cameras. INT. MAGIC BOX - NIGHT The bottle of Jack isn't long for this world. Anya and Spike each have full shot glasses again. ANYA Screw em! SPIKE To the rafters! They toast - down their shots. ANYA I did everything for that man. Was it ever enough? SPIKE Never! I was always going above and beyond. I saved the Scoobies how many times? And I can't stand the lot of you. ANYA Me either! I hate us! Everybody's So "nice." Nobody speaks their mind. SPIKE You do.. That's why you're the only one of them I wouldn't bite if I had the chance. Anya stops. Touched by this. ANYA Really? SPIKE Absolutely. I have nothing but respect for a woman who is forthright. Drusilla was always straightforward. Didn't have a single buggering clue about what was going on right in front of her, but she was straight about it. That's a virtue. ANYA Xander didn't think so. He thought I was rude. SPIKE That's because he's one of them. Uptight. Repressed. ANYA You think? SPIKE Please. It's no wonder they couldn't deal with the likes of you and me, Luv. We both should have been dead hundreds of years ago - and we're the only ones that are really alive. They lock eyes. Smile a little. Something passing between them. INT. TRIO'S LAIR - NIGHT As the red light keeps blinking: WARREN But you saw where we were supposed to go, right? JONATHAN Yeah, I saw it. Andrew and Warren exchange another look. Jonathan catches it. JONATHAN (cont'd) What? INT. BUFFY'S HOUSE - DINING ROOM - NIGHT As Willow taps away, toggling between different camera locations: WILLOW Oh my God. The Double Meat Palace. The Bronze. My classrooms on campus, Xander's site... She furrows her brow. BUFFY What? WILLOW I can tell there are more feeds, I'm just having a harder time pinpointing 'em. Here, lemme... She starts typing again. INT. MAGIC BOX - NIGHT Spike and Anya are closer now. Hip to hip. The bottle is almost drained. Spike pours the final shot. Hands it to her. SPIKE Here. Ladies last. Anya doesn't take it. Just looks at him. ANYA Thank you. SPIKE Take it quick or my chivalry'll run out. ANYA No - thank you. Spike stops. Realizes she's talking about something else. ANYA (cont'd) This if the first time since... It's good to be with someone who understands. SPIKE Intimately. ANYA This whole time, I've been coming on all hell bent and mad. Wanting his head you know? SPIKE Yeah. Anya looks near tears. ANYA When, really, I can't sleep at night, thinking - it has to be my fault, somehow- SPIKE Shhhhh- ANYA I mean, what if he was just pretending? What if he never really wanted me, I mean the way I wanted... (starts to cry) Oh, God... I'm sorry. SPIKE (tenderly) Now now... He wipes the tears from her face. She looks at him - all vulnerability and need. SPIKE (cont'd) He'd have to be more than just the git he is, Anya. He'd have to be deaf, dumb and blind not to want a woman like you. ANYA Then why? SPIKE The two of them, they're weak is all. (then) Tell you one thing. They're going to miss the water now that the well's gone dry. ANYA (ruefully) Too hot to handle. Now he's caressing her face instead of just brushing the tears away. She responds, moving her face against his hands. SPIKE Too hot... They are losing themselves now. It feels so good to touch. ANYA I have one more question- SPIKE Hmmmmm. ANYA (sniffing) Can I see your sexy dance? SPIKE I'll show you mine... He moves in to kiss her. But she hesitates. ANYA Wait. Wait. What are we doing- SPIKE Moving on. That's it. They kiss, hungry, desperate. It's not lovely in any way, it's physical, it's need. INT. BUFFY'S HOUSE - DINING ROOM - NIGHT As Buffy and Xander watch Willow at work: WILLOW Here, I think there are a couple more transmitters on the network, I've almost got us tapped into picture on 'em. INT. MAGIC BOX - NIGHT Spike and Anya break out of the kiss. A little stunned. Then: ANYA You know I'm only doing this 'cause I'm lonely and I'm drunk and you smell good. SPIKE See? Forthright. They kiss again, more intense. Their hands start groping... INT. TRIO'S LAIR - NIGHT Andrew looks up, sees the red light. ANDREW Hey. Wait. INT. MAGIC BOX - NIGHT The kiss between Anya and Spike grows, they move closer together. Spike begins fumbling with Anya's shirt... INT. TRIO'S LAIR - NIGHT The other two follow Andrew's eyes, see the red light. Suddenly, in a panic, they all run to the monitor bank. INT. MAGIC BOX - NIGHT Spike and Anya on the table. Making with the sex. Spike still dressed, Anya with her shirt off and her skirt bunched up around her waist. They've tossed a few Magic Box items on the floor out of the way, they've tipped over a chair or two. They are lost and hurt and needy, and they hold on to each other as they go. It's not tender, it's not romantic, but it is gentle. INT. BUFFY'S HOUSE - DINING ROOM - NIGHT WILLOW I think I got the Magic Box -- She looks up, then suddenly stands. WILLOW (cont'd) Whoa! INT. TRIO'S LAIR - NIGHT As all three madly throw switches on the monitor bank: WARREN No! Shut it down! Shut it all down! ANDREW I'm trying, I can't find -- Jonathan reaches over amidst the chaos. JONATHAN Here, dorkface, you have to -- Andrew SHOVES his hand away. ANDREW I'll get it myself- Jonathan sits back, stung. WARREN Guys, we have to -- holy crap. Everyone comes to a dead stop. WARREN (cont'd) What is that, porn? JONATHAN Oh my God. WARREN Is that the cam in the Magic Box? JONATHAN Oh my God. ANDREW What are they... oh. WARREN Is that -- JONATHAN Spike. ANDREW (intent on the screen) He is so cool... (catching himself) And, I mean, the girl is hot. Too. WARREN Dude. They all sit back and watch, the crisis momentarily forgotten. INT. MAGIC BOX - NIGHT Spike and Anya, on the table, same as before. Still going. INT. BUFFY'S HOUSE - DINING ROOM - NIGHT As Buffy and Xander come around the table to stand next to a stunned Willow: BUFFY What? WILLOW Wait, Xander, no. But it's too late: Xander just stares at the screen. Shocked. Horrified. XANDER Oh, God. Buffy's pretty much aghast, too. She looks at Xander, worried about him, but he's focused on the screen. She goes back there... clearly, she wants to turn away. But can't. Dawn enters. DAWN Hey' guys, what's -- She stares in shock at the screen. Willow instinctively covers her eyes. XANDER I -- what is she -- ? Willow looks at Xander, desperate to help, not knowing what to do. She looks to Buffy... and sees the look on Buffy's face. Willow looks back at the screen, at Spike, looks back at Buffy's face. Realization hits. WILLOW Buffy... Willow drops her hand from Dawn's eyes, and Dawn looks at Willow, follows her eyes to Buffy. Willow and Dawn exchange a look. They know. BUFFY That's enough. She heads to the kitchen. We hear the back door open as Buffy exits to the backyard. Willow and Dawn exchange another look, then Dawn follows Buffy out. Willow watches as Xander, mortified, blankly walks out of the dining room and into the living room. WILLOW (snapping to) Here, lemme... She hits some keys on the keyboard. WILLOW (cont'd) You know, we don't even really know what we were just seeing, maybe there was something -- there, got it -- But as the video goes away, we hear the FRONT DOOR open. WILLOW (cont'd) (looking up) Xander? Willow finds the door left open. And the weapons chest in the living room is open, too. And Xander's gone. EXT. SUNNYDALE SUBURBAN STREET - NIGHT Xander walks away from Buffy's house, down the street, on a mission. Eyes enraged. Ready to kill. Big, sharp axe in hand. BLACK OUT. END OF ACT THREE Act Four EXT. BUFFY'S HOUSE - BACKYARD - NIGHT Buffy is seated, her arms wrapped around her legs, withdrawn. Dawn is standing nearby. DAWN So... This is it. This is the stuff you've been protecting me from? You and Spike? Buffy looks to Dawn. BUFFY And a lot of monsters. DAWN Uh huh. Dawn takes the seat beside Buffy. BUFFY But it's over. Spike. DAWN I wish you'd told me. BUFFY I kinda didn't admit it to myself. DAWN I get that. Dawn searches, comes up with: DAWN (cont'd) I know it must hurt. To feel like You have to hide, to keep secrets from everybody... And then he goes and breaks up with you- This snaps Buffy out of it. She's indignant. BUFFY What? DAWN I'm sure he's just confused- BUFFY Confused? No! Dawn - I did the breaking up. Spike was obsessed with me. DAWN Oh. I just thought- BUFFY I'm serious. He was acting like a total stalker- She'd go on - but Willow enters from inside, a bit breathless. WILLOW Buffy. Xander's gone. And he took your axe. INT. MAGIC BOX - NIGHT Anya and Spike, next to the table, next to each other, awkwardly buttoning up their clothes. Silent. Ashamed. Unable to make eye contact. Anya surveys the slight chaos they created in the store, a sign of their haste. She cringes quietly. Spike walks to the door, looks back at the mess they made, sees Anya. She looks over. They nod at each other. Nothing else to say. He walks out... EXT. MAGIC BOX - CONTINUOUS ...and looks up just in time to see THE GLINTING BLADE OF AN AXE SWINGING TOWARDS HIS HEAD. Xander's furious face behind it. Spike ducks, and Xander ends up burying the axe in the wall. They make eye contact. Each breathing heavily, like animals. And then Xander TACKLES Spike. EXT. SUNNYDALE STREET - NIGHT Buffy, desperate, runs toward the Magic Box. EXT. MAGIC BOX - NIGHT Xander wrestles Spike up against a wall; gets in his face. Spike doesn't even try to stop him, he just stands there, taking the abuse. Xander punches him hard in the stomach. Spike falls to his knees. After a moment: XANDER (pissed) Get up. Get up! Spike just looks up at Xander, not moving. XANDER (cont'd) You're just gonna sit there? Do nothing? Frustrated, full of rage, Xander grabs Spike's head and SLAMS IT BACK AGAINST THE WALL. Spike takes it. XANDER (cont'd) That the kinda man you are? SPIKE Not gonna fight you. Chip. Xander kicks Spike in the stomach. Hard. Spike slumps. XANDER Too bad. Anya comes out of the Magic Box at the noise, sees the fight. Xander reaches down, grabs Spike by the collar, pulls him up, pulls a WOODEN STAKE out of his own jacket. ANYA Xander, no! Stop it! Stop it! He looks up, sees her, gets distracted... and doesn't notice Buffy running at him until she suddenly SHOVES HIM ASIDE, pushing him away from Spike. Xander stands, faces Anya and Spike. Anya buttons a last button. Buffy looks on. ANYA (cont'd) Xander. I -- XANDER Don't even try to deny it. 'Cause we saw it all. The whole, beautiful show. ANYA How... Xander glares at her. ANYA (cont'd) Listen, it was just... it was just a thing. I felt bad, he was just there. Buffy glares at Spike. BUFFY Didn't take long, did it? Spike looks at his feet, guilty. XANDER (ignoring them) O-oh! Okay... then you had to do it. Because he was there. Like Mt. Everest. (a beat) Like I used to be. ANYA And then you weren't. You left me, Xander. At the altar. I don't owe you anything. XANDER So you bang the first body you can find? Dead or alive? ANYA Where do you get off judging me- XANDER When this is your solution to our problems? I hurt you so you get me back? Very mature. ANYA No, the mature solution is to spend your whole life telling stupid, pointless jokes so no one will notice you're just a scared, insecure little boy! XANDER I'm not joking now. You let that evil, soulless thing touch you. You wanted me to feel something, congratulations. It worked. Anya stares back at him. XANDER (cont'd) I look at you - I feel sick - 'cause you had sex with that. A long cold beat. Xander full of rage. Anya, pain. Buffy, shame. And Spike, indignation. SPIKE (offhand) Good enough for Buffy. Spike looks into Buffy's eyes. XANDER (disbelieving) Shut up. Leave her out of... As Xander looks into Buffy's eyes. Sees the shame. XANDER (cont'd) (cold) This. ANYA (realizing) Buffy. BUFFY Xander-- She moves towards him. He steps back. XANDER I don't want to know this, I don't want to know any of this. He puts down the wooden stake on the street. And walks away. Anya and Buffy watch him go. Too stunned to move. SPIKE (re: Xander) Stupid tossbag. You know, I wish he would -- ANYA (weary) Don't. Buffy looks at Spike. Her face ripe with hate. He braces himself. She stares at him, ready to do some serious damage. Then she simply turns and walks away. She's gone, too. Spike watches her go, utterly bereft. He leaves. Anya turns, walks back into INT. MAGIC BOX - NIGHT Anya stands in the doorway looking at what she and Spike did to the store. She enters and quietly starts picking things up, trying to put things back in place... TARA (O.S.) Things fall apart, they fall so hard... INT. BUFFY'S HOUSE - WILLOW'S ROOM - NIGHT Willow, sitting at her bed with a textbook, looks up to see Tara standing in the doorway. WILLOW Tara... TARA You can't ever put them back the way they were... WILLOW Are you okay? TARA (crossing in, sitting) I'm sorry, it's just... you know it takes time. you can't just have coffee and expect -- WILLOW (a bit ashamed) I know. TARA There's so much to work through. Trust has to build again, on both sides... (more) TARA (cont'd) you have to learn if you're even the same people you were, if you can fit in each other's lives, it's a long and important process and can we just skip it? Can you just be kissing me now? Willow searches Tara's face: did Tara just... Tara stares back, nervous but sure. Willow stands as Tara moves to her and they kiss, passionately. They interlock fingers, holding on to each other as tight as they can. Not letting go. They keep kissing. It is intense, it is passionate, and it is, above all else, love. Truly and forever. BLACK OUT. END OF SHOW. Executive Producers: Joss Whedon and Marti Noxon. |