Gone but never forgotten, that loveable demon-turned-human-turned-demon-turned-human-again Anya, left a long lasting impression on Buffy viewers. You know her story: unleashing terrible vengeance on human males for centuries, Anya found herself a fish out of water when she was forced to live as a human being again. Blunt to a fault, self-centred and baffled by mortal niceties, Anya followed the beat of her own drummer – something we could all learn from.
Here, then, are BtVS Official Magazine’s top 10 tips for mastering Anya’s manner. Go ahead – embrace your inner Anya!
Tip Number 10: Network, Network, Network!
As the old saying goes, it’s not what you know, it’s who you know! Over the course of her long demon career, Anya established contact with all sorts of nasty netherworld types, as evidenced by her decidedly creepy guest list on her wedding-day-that-wasn’t. Heck, she even hung out with Count Dracula way back when. “He was really cool,” she says.
Tip Number 9: Greed Is Good!
We’ve never seen a more enthusiastic capitalist than our dear Anya. At the Magic Box, she quickly moved from Giles’ cash register jockey to sole proprietor, and she wasn’t shy about prodding Giles out the door when he was hesitant about leaving Sunnydale. Even playing the board game “Life”, Anya gleefully asks, “Can I trade in the children for more cash?”
Tip Number 8: Be Direct!
Don’t pussyfoot around – say what you mean! Why tell a customer to have a nice day when what you really mean is “Please go”? Trying to seduce the object of your desire? “Please remove your clothing now.” Your friend’s little sister is paralysed by a creature? “I bet she’s dying.” Want to express the depth of your love? “When I think that something could happen to you, it feels bad inside, like I might vomit.” Life’s so much easier when you abandon tact, common courtesy and good taste.
Tip Number 7: Be Generous Towards Loved Ones
What do you get the man that has everything? How about boils on the penis? Anya’s always had plenty of ideas for the two men in her life – she turned her ex-boyfriend Olaf into a troll, for one thing. And the recipients of her vengeance spells over the course of a millennium always got something special. The exploding heads were the best. And hey, remember the time she gave the house full of frat boys their own special spider demon in season seven? Well, okay, even Anya felt bad about that one.
Tip Number 6: Any Time’s A Fine Time For Nookie!
Off to battle a divine being who’s sure to destroy you, your friends, and the world, in that order? Bummer. So why not let off a little steam first? Imminent death is the perfect excuse for a little mattress mambo, as Anya discovered with Xander down in the Magic Box basement just before marching off to face Glory at the end of season five. Which leads us to…..
Tip Number 5: Payback = Healthy And Fun!
Nothing feels better than a little sweet revenge. After she’s abandoned at the altar by Xander, Anya ends up splitting a bottle of whiskey with Spike and having spite-Xander sex with the bleached-blonde vampire on a table. Unbeknownst to Anya, the Nerd Trio’s surveilliance camera picks up the whole tryst, and Xander is crushed. Take that, Xander!
Tip Number 4: When In Doubt, Be The Bad Cop!
Before Andrew became a fully-fledged Scooby (or at least a Scooby-by-association), he was full of information the gang needed in order to combat the First Evil. But he wouldn’t talk! So Anya made a deal with Andrew: spill the goods, or she’d pummel the information out of him. Luckily for Andrew, Xander was there to hold Anya back. Remember: violence greases the wheels like nothing else.
Tip Number 3: When The Going Gets Tough, Get Going!
Discretion is the better part of valour, after all. In other words, sometimes it’s perfectly acceptable to turn tail and run! In the season three finale, Anya begs Xander to leave town with her, but he won’t abandon his friends as they prepare to battle the Mayor. Anya gets the hell out of Sunnydale, but not before telling Xander, “I hope you die…Aren’t we gonna kiss?”
Tip Number 2: Bunnies Are The Enemy!
All hoppy legs and twitchy little noses…we hate them! Hate them, hate them, hate them! There’s not really an etiquette tip here, we just thought we’d mention it.
Tip Number 1: Leave A Good-Looking Corpse!
In the series finale, Anya demonstrated a lot of behaviour we’d never have thought possible back in season three, like bravery, standing up for her friends and finally learning to admire all the things that make humans human. Best of all, she managed to die without ever getting old and wrinkly, one of her great fears when she was human. We’re sure that would have pleased her.
BtVS - The Official Magazine is available at all good newsagents. This month features an in-depth look at the character of Anya, an interview with Kali Rocha, the story of Willow, a look at the comedy in BtVS and an interview with Robia La Morte. |
